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the moster that i necame because of him poem #8
General | Posted 10 years agoI remember when you told me that my body was the only thing in this world that would give me a chance of getting married I remember that you siad that I would never be loved by anyone that they would only love my body like you did and when u raped me I cried because i decided to believe those words that you said like they were prayers from god like he was using you to tell me this and I believed myself
When I looked in my mirror when I was 10 after you were in jail I looked at my body the bruises where gone from sight but they were not gone from my mind I decided that if people will only love me for my body I would deastory that too and I would never be loved again and that thought of that made me happy so when I decided to take a sharp pics of clean metal to my skin making the red beautiful liquid out and I smiled
When I was 12 and it was your last year in jal o remember that I asked to talk to you in private I remember that I said nothing and all I did was show you that scares that I caused on my body and when u saw them you cried and for some reason I smiled to see you suffer to see you feel bad for what u caused me and when I looked at you the only words I said was this body is no longer beautiful its just a rotting piece of flesh and when I looked at myself that day I cried as well I realized what I have become I was no longer what people would call beautiful I had become what people would call a monster
This was really hard for me to post but I am glad I did to show you guys mei forgive you poem #7
General | Posted 10 years agoDear the people who have hurt me
i forgive you
from my earliest memory ever since i was 3 i have been shunned and judged
on the way i looked, acted,talked, and dresses
i remember only seeing the face of judgment on yours on sadness on mine
i only remember that when i was little that no one would stick up for the kid who wore girl shirts or talked like they were one
it was not my fault that i am feminine but was my fault was your words getting to me
i remember one day when i was 12 i wanted to end everything so i grabbed a knife and put it against my stomach but i could not do it
i remember when i was 13 i got so sad because my name at school was girl-boy
so i grabbed a hair pin and scratched a smiles into my stomach because if i always had a fake smile on my face why not have it on the rest of my body match
i remember the way you used to hate me for having a different orientation and i used to just cry and cry because i had no one
i remember the day i looked at my body and saw why people saw me as a girl so i decided to get rid of it
and by get rid of it meant to get rid of my body so i stopped eating
i remember waking up every day with a new bruise or scare on my body
i remember most of those scars were from me
but i also remember the people that has helped me in my life
i remember my friends who used to help me get through everything
i remember how they kept all the knifes and hairpins away and instead gave me a note book and a pen
i remember how they said that i would be ok
so that is why i forgive you i forgive you because i have my friends that will always be there and if you ever call me girl-boy again you will just add to the list of people that i have to forgive.ref sheet for cadet miki
General | Posted 10 years agoref sheet
name- Miki the wolf
fur- dark gray, purple, white, and light gray
social class- peasants
pack- only has a older and younger sister and has two younger brother does not associate as family with his biological mother and father and only sees, talks, and takes care of his youngest brother.
background- grew up in an unstable family so does not trust a lot of people and got in trouble for a lot of reason but when he first got his hands onto a computer he found a whole new world and has never stopped using it he has hacked into the most secure places with ease he has gotten in trouble and almost executed because of him using and hacking into place stealing secrets and information once gotten into college everything has gotten to the next level he now has more knowledge and skill to hack into the most secure places and he did.
chosen for the academy- he did not really apply for the academy it found him literally he hacked into the system and trying to find some juicy secrets that he can blackmail the government for he got caught and was thrown in jail they said that they might can use his skill and can possibly use his knowledge for good and can use his skills to get info on some of their enemies and so he was put into the academy so he can learn how to use their system and to keep an eye on what he does and to find out more info.
social attitude- is very shy when meeting new people and does not really stand up for himself if people are mean to him he will just turn the other cheek and will not fight back at all he will never hit back if he does get hit but if you ever touch his computer or if you challenge him to hacking he turns into a total different person and once he gets on a computer he is confident and not shy one bit.
motivation- to help his brother have a good life that he never had and to make sure that he can use his knowledge and gift for something that he believes in.
quirks- has a habit of if you dare to hurt anyone he cares about he will destroy you and has a habit of leaving a purple paw print on all his haker work.i have kik
General | Posted 10 years agoOk so o have kik and I talk on there a lot and If anyone just wants to kik me anytime just note and ill give it to you but if I don't reply its either I am really busy or I did not get the message
raffle not mine
General | Posted 10 years agopoem #6 my soul wrote a letter to me
General | Posted 10 years agomy soul writing a letter to me
As I look at you all I see is a war ground and the raging famished flesh and I am tired of being the one in this war fighting for you.
Your the one who has hurt your body the one who has caused the scared it and when I try to help and defend you I get hit also I end up with as many scares as you and now I am the one who is being hurt instead
But I would rather be hurt then you to hurt yourself
I would rather end up bing the one in the hospital then you
And as I look at you more I see a person trying to get a hold of themselves but when I see you all I see is you trying to keep me from getting in the way
you locking me up but you are too kind and too nice to hurt me you have them treat me like royalty
you are to nice to block me out because you know if you do you will end up six feet under and it will all be done so everytime you create a new scare I will too so that we can be the same so I can still say that we are the same
And so that you don't see me different from you and so that if you do end up six feet under I will be there with you resting until you wake up and you find your self again weekly obsessions
General | Posted 10 years agook for this weeks obsession is choreography again but i love this because it has beyonce music her sing diva and i was like my life and i have another witch is a poem that i found that i really like its called "Go away" so here it is my weekly obsessions
[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-v3omXF_4I[/video]
[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQLhtyNk4Os[/video]a raffle what (not mine)
General | Posted 10 years agoany one like to rp?
General | Posted 10 years agook so if you dont know i rp a lot i love to because i love to bring my characters to life so if you ever want to rp with me come asks send me a note and ill get back to you and see if i can
my health not really good
General | Posted 10 years agook so i went to my shrink and it seem that i am ok for now they up the dose on my depression and anxiety meds but whats bad is that i am not eating again when i was in high school i suffered anorexia and it went on for 3 years then i started eating but for the past year i have been eating less and less so my doctor, friends, and roommate are scared that i will suffer a re-laps. Thats all for right now have a great day or night or afternoon everyone.
i need help deciding
General | Posted 10 years agook so i am not sure whether or not to get my nose pierced again or not i dont want to look bad but i am considering it i need your help
New weekly obsession yay
General | Posted 10 years agook so this is my new weekly obsession another dance video and its so good.
_____________________________________________________________________ [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc6UOkTQXCE[/video]
thanks for your time you all are awesomewhat i am (gender neutral rant warning)
General | Posted 10 years agoso a guy at my school kept calling me a trany and that got me really annoyed because of what i am ok so this is a bit weird for me to say but i am gender neutral i don't have a specific gender i don't care if people classify me as a boy or girl for me i am just me i am a human and that's all i wear both feminine and masculine clothing i am just me so if you want to call me a girl i don't care if you want to call me a boy i don't care i am both for all i care i don't have a specific gender the only one that has to worry about my private parts is me and my doctor so that's all i have to say have a nice day.
lets see what i know
General | Posted 10 years agoOk so 
Enorad did this and I was fun and so I am now so comment and ill tell.
1. What animal/creature you remind me of. (Der)
2. Tell you what color I think fits you (paw is a color right?)
3. Tell you how I feel about you. (As a freind!)
4. Insult you. (It's just silly and ment for jokes)
5. Tell you my favorite OC of yours. (Yup...)
6. Tell you what season you remind me of. (Pawday isn't a season, so I can't use that..)
7. Tell you what food you smell like in my head. (Most likely a meat. :P)
8. Think of a random nickname for you. (Also silly :P)
9. Tell you what element you remind me of. (Many, many, many elements to choose)
10. Ask you to put this in your journal without using the words 'tag' or 'dare'. WARNING! Easy task is easy! Preform easy task at own risk of easyness!!! [This label sponsored by;
"That was easy button"] :P
Enorad did this and I was fun and so I am now so comment and ill tell.1. What animal/creature you remind me of. (Der)
2. Tell you what color I think fits you (paw is a color right?)
3. Tell you how I feel about you. (As a freind!)
4. Insult you. (It's just silly and ment for jokes)
5. Tell you my favorite OC of yours. (Yup...)
6. Tell you what season you remind me of. (Pawday isn't a season, so I can't use that..)
7. Tell you what food you smell like in my head. (Most likely a meat. :P)
8. Think of a random nickname for you. (Also silly :P)
9. Tell you what element you remind me of. (Many, many, many elements to choose)
10. Ask you to put this in your journal without using the words 'tag' or 'dare'. WARNING! Easy task is easy! Preform easy task at own risk of easyness!!! [This label sponsored by;
"That was easy button"] :P
come ask me questions hehe
General | Posted 10 years agoCome ask me question I am bored http://ask.fm/coolcide1999 hehe I will answer them I promise
raffle (not mine)
General | Posted 10 years agoyoutube awesome poem #1
General | Posted 10 years ago
ok so this is what i am doing i am going to start every week or 3 days put a new poem from youtube so i hope you guys will like itTMI Tuesday yaya ask me anything
General | Posted 10 years agoOk hey guys it me again and here is the deal ask me anything this had no restrictions ask me anything that has to do with furry stuff ir my personal life promise you wont be totally creeper out maybe just a little bit
weekly obsession _________________ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJaTxaulAMo a pin up raffle (not my raffle)
General | Posted 10 years agowhat i am going to do
General | Posted 10 years agoOk so this is what i am going to do I will now take commissions so if you want one come and get it this is the deal I will first sketch and get your approval and then outline it and finally draw it onto my computer and digitally outline and color the drawing and it will be yours so if you want one first come first serve limited slots comment , note , or whatever to let me know what you want
ALL COMMISSIONS ARE FREE!!
Thank you all for making me a better artist
ALL COMMISSIONS ARE FREE!!
Thank you all for making me a better artist
ok so this is what is going on
General | Posted 10 years agoi am going through a tough time right now with school and work and i have not been feeling myself i just been feeling sadder and more anxious and its getting worse so i am going to do what i did in high school i am going to my old shrink and see whats wrong i have been taking anti-depressant and anxiety meds so i might not be active or be talking a lot i will keep drawing and keep checking in but not as much until i feel better.
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Quote- we wear our beauty on our backs so that is why its so easy to see it on other people and not ourselves.
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Quote- we wear our beauty on our backs so that is why its so easy to see it on other people and not ourselves.
ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!;
General | Posted 10 years agoGuys I am freaking out I cant find my sketch book anywhere that is my baby I cant live with out it if I don't find I I just lost all mu drawings
ok i found it its ok wow that was close
ok i found it its ok wow that was close
i made a mistake .......i had too much coffee
General | Posted 10 years ago:) ;)
ok so i was really getting tired and i have a flight to tomorrow early in the morning and so i want to sleep at night and so when i get tired i drink lots and lots of coffee so i decided to drink some but i felt the same so i drank like 3 cups more and so now i am really really hyper and i am freaking out i made a mistake i need help help me fellow furs i am running around the room carrying my computer to type all this right now.
ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
i am on yutube
General | Posted 10 years agook so i don't do anything special all i have on my youtube right now is just my speed art drawing and btw i am soo excited that i am getting more and more into digital art and if some of you want to know how i do it ill tell you guys only lol :)
i hope you guys like it
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDakahUAvEmSPvPKeyoAHfQi hope you guys like it
Art has meaning poem
General | Posted 10 years ago ART HAS MEANINGAs the pencil hits the page I feel my emotions try to make it through the handle of the pencil and as it try's to push itself through the graphite and makes its way onto the page.
I wonder if this picture will turn out like I hope.
I hope that my meaning of drawing a picture would show in every sketch line with every mark hoping that even the erased lines had meaning.
That every single drawing that I do will have some meaning to it either it has a feeling to do with me or a feeling of possibly making another person happy.
My art and your art has meaning I might not even know what it is trying to say most of the time all I know that it says it but sometimes my ears are not strong enough to hear that quiet whisper
That it is trying to say weather its to say hi, how are you, I am sad, or I want to cry, weather it is to say something hurtful or something nice art will always have a meaning to it and all we have to do is listen and one day we will be able to here what it is saying.