I'm sorry I haven't been updating my art lately; I'm gonna level with you. Mentally for the last decade I haven't been in a healthy place; artistically, mentally, just in general.

I've spent a lot of my working life in warehouses and it has made me miserable, cynical, and bitter. Imagine you live your life sacrificing everything to try and be good at art and you finally get it. You finally get good enough at art to get hired in the game industry; you finally escape that god forsaken warehouse.

Now you're in the industry, you just barely managed to squeak in as it's all going to shit. You signed up to make art but all your bosses want you to do is churn out and fix AI slop. I didn't last long in the game industry if you couldn't tell by now. Honestly looking back on it I would call myself delusional to ever think I can, but really it just comes down to a difference of what the game industry wants and what makes good art.

Even before AI shat all over the artistic world, the game industry wasn't heading in a good place, the games I've wanted to make; Ratchet and Clank, Okami, Wind Waker, the stylistically beautiful games? Those don't sell any more. And even when they do Microsoft will shut down your company anyways like with Hi Fi Rush.

Sony and Microsoft are instead focused on remastering the Last of Us for the four hundredth time. Did I ever tell you how much I hate realistic graphics? Like how much I actually fucking hate realistic graphics? Like what a waste of time, effort, and energy they are? Game graphics have plateaued in the looks department, but still the suicidal rush for the most photo real graphics imaginable. At some point you just got to step outside right?

I got my dream job and it killed my love of art. Then I got sacked anyways in the layoffs.

So here I am like Sisyphus, once again back at the warehouse. Endlessly pushing the boulder up the amazon hill.

Am I in hell? Is this all life is? Grinding myself down at a job I hate until I hopefully scrounge enough together to enjoy what's left of my life when I'm too old, broken, and miserable to enjoy anything?

I don't know if I'm going to upload again, but you're all used to me disappearing for months on end; so I'm sure you'll be fine.

I don't have the most healthy relationship with furry art either, but that's a whole other can of worms; all you need to know is I did the functional equivalent of taking my fetish, dragging it behind the chemical shed; and beating it to death with a brick. I haven't completely decoupled my love of furry art from this fetish, so I don't exactly know if it's the most mentally healthy thing for me to make art for this community.

I might upload more in the future, but I'm just not in a mentally healthy place right now.

I'm sorry.

I figured out the best time to upload was at 6:30 on friday, oh well. Enjoy the nude leak, it was actually supposed to upload friday last week but apparently I didn't update postybirb.

My resoultions are simple. Once I finish giving Patreon my definitly real, totally me drivers licence, I'm going to try to hit two uploads a week, no promises: but I'll try my best.

Got the warning telling me to upload my face and ID and I'm gonna say no to to that dawg. Nope. Nein. Nyett. fuck that, I'm not doing it. Playstation was secure too, my driver's license sitting on some soulless mega corp's server waiting to be hacked is a recipe for disaster I want no part in.

Any good sites that wont be doing this?

I have to do something to take my mind off election results: we're going to have a government with a porn banning agenda anyways, but I always wanted to further test cell shading.

But life goes on.

I like the hand painted path: but that takes time. Cellshading is quick, efficient, and if you do it right it looks amazing.

That was a shitshow. At first I though this is expected for kiwifarms: but then they disowned the hacker. I hope the 15 minutes of fame was worth it. If furries can break into Heritage foundation servers they can break into the computer of a loser desperate for attention.

Dont get me wrong, I love how they look: but I realized rather painfully that if I make the fur look realistic, I'll have to make everything else look realistic and that is just too much work for one person. That includes the hair, which I can spend hours in xgen just tweaking hair curves until I get beautiful realistic hair, but the resulting conversion to mesh can go into the thousands, if not tens of thousands of polygons: not fun when you're working on a rig with multiple characters grafted on to it.

I'm just going to be trying to stick to what I call the "WoW Pandaren fur method"

That is depressing. Yeah this is a ancient site that still doesn't have the most important basics: like a tag filter and it was a running joke to make fun of the running state of FA: but jokes aside I wasn't excepting that today; especially since it was America's fucked healthcare system that killed him. Nobody deserves to die like that. Nobody. Fuck US healthcare. People will say "wE haVe tHe bEsT dOcTOrs"

Well what fucking good is that when none of us can afford them?

Since this puts FA in danger, you can find my other links in my bio.

I use most of the social medias, but I don't use twitter, I hated the bird app even before Elon turned it to shit.

RIP dragoneer, we lost a legend.

I've only tested it on a handful of images, most notably the background of this one: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54335796/
In all likelihood I'm probably going to redo the background on that one and not use AI again. Dont get me wrong, it was cool it generated a tropical island background, but it doesn't sit right with me. I feel like I skipped to the end credits of a game without playing it. There was no discovery, no new methods figured out, no endearing human error that adds charm to the art piece. I don't mind the three woman I threw in, they're great, I love them: but looking back on it I hate the background. Even if AI made it look perfectly like what was in my head, I still feel like I cheated a speedrun.

Honestly? Cant say I like it that much. I'm a 3D artist: I know all about the tedium and the jank that gets 3D to work, believe me when I say I get why people want to cut corners: but that still didn't bring me a sense of accomplishment when I finished it. The process of art is what makes it fun, the people peddling AI to replace artists don't realize limitation IS an artistic choice, not a constraint. The fact that you cant do everything as an artist is what makes art endearing: what you cant do highlights where you decided to focus on as an artist.

Let me give you an example, this is one of my favorite Rembrandt pieces: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rembr.....rt_Project.jpg

Notice how the face is detailed, but as you look down his shirt to the rest of his body you see progressively less detail? That's because the shirt isn't the focus of the painting, the face is. Not every part of a painting needs equal level of detail: that would make it look messy and cluttered. AI doesn't realize this, it details everything equally without thought to composition, lighting, perspective, or anatomy: That's the easiest way to spot an AI image by the way.

It was fun for a few experiments, but after the novelty wore off: I'm going to pass. It doesn't feel right. In the short term I feel robbed of accomplishment and it the long term I would be so reliant on it my artistic ability would atrophy.

I cant stop people from using it, but I can say this: If you took away Maya I would use Modo, if you took away Modo I would use Cinema 4D, if you took away Cinema 4D I would use Blender, you take away Blender I would sculpt with clay. The tool doesn't matter, the artist makes the tool. If I became too reliant on AI to the point I couldn't make art if it was taken away: then at that point can you really call me an artist? If someone claims they're a mathematician, but cant do math without a calculator: then they're not really a mathematician are they?

My old computer wasn't powerful enough, but I put it a much better graphics card meaning I can now start playing with rendering options that wont make my computer sound like a jet ready to take off. This means I can start messing around with xgen fur and arnold rendering. I will try to male my 3D models look like this: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45987290/

I do love zorryn's artwork, my only complaint is going for that level of "Photoreal" takes a while. Zorryn makes incredible art, but it looks like he can only squeeze out 20 pieces a year.

I also still have only dabbled in xgen, I can never crack it that well: but if you guys want it, I'll hit it with everything I got. It might take a while to figure out and you'll get less artpeices: but they'll be much higher quality.

What do you say?

Finally finished SuccubiRig_V3 and with it I have an interesting style choice. I'm testing both of them out: but I'm curious to hear other opinions.

Do you want the next pinup piece to have borderlands style textures or something more handpainted stylized like you would see in League of Legends/World of Warcraft?

I never watched his channel, but I cant comprehend dropping the price of a new car or a significant chunk of my mortgage payment on what really was just softcore porn of this dude and Charlie from Hazbin Hotel. Like god damn, most expensive nut I've seen somebody go for.

Hey guys, I'm just going to give you a quick update on what I plan in 2024: Happy Holidays

I really like how my character models came out: but there is still much to iron out in terms of problems. The succubi rig v3, which is the name of the character rig I grafted all my characters onto still has a couple problems. Looks wise I love it but the rig I built it onto still has many flaws I need to fix. With out boring all of you, most of the problem are duct tape solutions that I've managed to fix long ago in my autorigger. I programmed new and efficient autorigging tools that dont function well with the character rig I'm working with for the 3D pinups you see right now. I also still need to hammer down a more refined and consistent artstyle for what you see on those character models.

TL:DR

I love the 3D models and rigs I've shown all of you, but they're buggy. You'll still get cool pinups and lewds: but I'll be working in the background to make a more consistent art style and stable rig.

I cant get postybirb to play nice with furry network, ehentai, or newgrounds and google isnt giving good answers on this

EDIT: thank you so much, my account is now verified! see you there!

I cant upload onto my weaysl until it's verified, anyone willing to vouch?

https://www.weasyl.com/~hazmund3d

Dads backs with the milk, It was a bitch and a half to finish and rig those 3D models, I decided on handpainted textures instead of photoreal fur for the sake of time and convenience: but now that I'm back and I've settled on a style and medium it's my hope you will some more consistant uploads. You'll finally see what I've dedicated the last 5 years of my life to.

you can find a more in depth update here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54274214/

Hey guys, sorry i've been radio silent for a while, I'll try to keep this journal short and sweet as I'm sure you all have stuff to do.

I spent the last 4 years studying 3D art and trying to figure out a viable process for furry art and learned something about 3d art that kindof soured the mood for me. What I pretty much figured out was from trying to make 3D art on the level of the thing is though, making a character (the full process, sculpting in zbrush, retopology, unwrapping, texturing, xgen fur, rigging) takes a while, a month at the minimum, hell even a simple hand painted character can take weeks.

3D is like a cannon. Powerful and flashy, but it's not maneuverable. You need a team to operate and aim it, you cant really move it on your own. All those parts of the process I listed above? In the game or film industry, you usually have a team of people working on each part independently. Its kindof a nightmare to juggle if you're doing it all on your own

2D is like a pistol. Sure it's not as powerful as the cannon, but you can run with it, and aim/shoot faster with it. 3D is nice: but it's not good for getting Ideas out of my head quickly and on paper, not as fast as 2D atleast.

I figure if I keep practicing the pipeline I created I can finish a character in 3 weeks. 3 weeks, 52 weeks in a year. That mean going full steam ahead, no distractions, everything goes right: I'm looking at just 17 art pieces a year. Zorryn's art looks great: but he only can put out a handful of art pieces and characters a year. The average American male lives to about 72 years old, with 44 years left thats means I'm looking at only 748 art pieces in my lifetime: not a small number, but still one you can feasibly count to: and it's a number that only gets smaller as you factor in life and it's events. It's not enough for me.

TL:DR

I'm going to be relegating 3D to a support role for enhancing my drawings instead of 3D being my primary artistic focus. I've worked as a rigger long enough to try and give concept art a shot. 3D was fun, but I want to give drawing a shot again. Simply put, I'm going to pick up where I left off in 2018.

Alright, before I launch my new account, lets talk about my newest piece: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/37964548/

So for those of you who dont know, I'm a technical artist in the game industry: which is a fancy way of saying I do all jobs technical related to a character: Mocap, animation tweaking, engine mechanic, and more specifically rigging, which is a fancy way of saying I put skeletons in characters so the animators can move, pose, and animate them. It is a very rich and rewarding job I very much enjoy.

That character you see there: she is fully rigged. I can pose her in any multitude of different ways. Rigging was the easy part: it only took me a week. To speed along the process I even created my own auto rigging tools so that If I wanted to I can go even faster than that. The best part is she is for the most part 90 percent joint driven (Aside from the hips, I still had to make corrective blends for that: nobody is perfect: but believe me I tried: I TRIED)

Most characters in games dont need complex rigs. You only need to plan a rig based around the following animations: Walk/run cycle, crouch, maybe a squat pose, sometimes a crawling pose, jump, and roll: alot of those basic character movements dont require a complicated rig. 3D porn on the otherhand is a different story...

See, 3D porn flips the entire rigging game on it's head. You now need a character that deforms perfectly from any of the thousands of erotic and dynamic poses that come with making a character look sexy from every angle. Let me give you an example of one of the hardest poses to rig, the "Slav Squat", this pose: https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.555.....,f8f8f8.u3.jpg

You see, joint based deformation will only get you so far. I've seen joint based solution to deformation problems around the hips: but most of them are highly technical approaches that would make a game engine scream at you. A character artist is given a poly and a texture size limit based on the character type. The main character of a game for example, the "Hero" if you will, gets the most polys and texture detail, then the villain and supporting characters, then the enemies get usually the least polys. It's the same rule with joints, the main character gets the most joints.

To successfully rig the "Slav Squat" you must build corrective blends (in maya they're refereed to as blend shapes in every other 3D application they are called Morph targets) The idea behind corrective shapes is you pose a character, you sculpt the geometry until the pose looks right, then you tie it to a trigger that activates the corrective blend when the character reaches the pose you sculpted for. Thats the most commonly accepted way to solve the problem with the hips: but it's not perfect. If you want those hip deformations to look nice you will have to sculpt ALOT of corrective blends to make those transitions nice and smooth: then on top of that, you cant really reuse corrective blends: not without alot of pain and tweaking, but you'll essentially be pouring all the work into the hips for just one character.

The reason for this is vertex order. Vertex order labels every single vertices on a character model, every corner of a triangle on a character model is considered a vertice, and if you fuck with that topology in anyway: extrude a new face, chop off the ears to add a different type of ear, or add new edge loops: the vertex order is now FUCKED and you will not be able to transfer the blend-shapes. simply put, you cant transfer blendshapes between characters unless the topology is EXACTLY the same, any tweaks and you risk losing the vertex order: it's not always the case: but it's a very dangerous gamble

Thats why joint only rigs are considered the holy grail of character rigging. It is very easy to transfer skin weights across characters and save yourself a metric asston of work on skinning: but most joint only approaches are used for films because joint based approaches usually involve more joints than a game engine can handle.

It takes alot of work to make a 3D character, not just rigging: but the art side as well. Then you factor in clothing, environments, other characters, different hair styles, ect. It's enough work for one person to make your head spin. I loved making this character: but it was SOOOOO much work and there is still so much more to do. I was originally going to surprise you all with an asston of 3D work on my new account: but honestly I think I should just take a note from cubebrush and do mostly drawing with the occasional 3D piece.

Rigging is considered fun to me, because I'm a masochist: but making a full 3D character is ALOT of work

It's time for me to stop being a downer,how about I actually given you an update that is a bit more optimistic. The other thing I want you guys to keep in mind is you are not my therapist and you are by no means obligated to comment.

Lets start with where I've been, what I've been doing, and where I plan to be in the next six months. I was at an Amazon warehouse for the past 2 and a half years and alot about me changed during that time, my naivety died,I realized I wasn't the main character of life, I got a brutal kick to the balls by reality, I went from liberal to Marxist Leninist: but this isnt about politics. Lets just say I got breadpilled hardcore as I sunk further and further into self loathing and depression at Amazon. As I learnt more and more it was liberating realizing how many unrealistic expectations capitalism forced on me: but also opened my eyes to how truly broken this world is and how knowledge is essentially pain. I'm happy I know more, but you cant really plug yourself back into the matrix and pretend everything is fine after that. I kindof understand where Cypher was coming from in the matrix: but at the same time I would never be selfish enough to stab my friends in the back for security. I've met too many great and kind people of many different races, genders, and ethnicities. There is a stereotype that straight white men who joint the left are self flagellating, soyboy pansy cucks that suck up to feminists because they want poon: but I never saw myself that way. I see myself more like Zuko from Avatar The Last Airbender. I see a broken and cruel system that bullies people into submission: and as somebody who grey up bullied relentlessly in school and mentally abused by a shitbag stepfather: I related alot to Zuko. I hate bullies and the power structures that enable them. I dont want anyone to feel what I felt. Thats where I've been.

What I've been doing is working various odd jobs in the game industry.

Where I plan to be in the next 6 months? Well, for starters I hate my username: I've always hated it and much like the edgy teenager who built it, who knows what edgy shit or bad takes I commented at the time that will probably come back and bite me in the ass down the road. I cant delete this account though, I've had it since 2011: 9 YEARS!!! But since furaffinity is ancient: changing your username is a No No. So in addition to the new account, I'm also going to be uploading on alot more sites. I really hamstrung myself only uploading to this site.

A part of me is nervous though, because I can draw and I can do 3D: so I know the limits of both and what each of them respectively can do: but I have to honest. I want to upload for the furry community: but I also have to consider the impact that has on my personal life. I'm not open about being a furry, I will never be open about being a furry. What I have is a fetish, that is all. It's not a lifestyle choice. I draw/3D furry material for spank bank material. Since thats the only reason I make it though, I have to consider the idea that drawing for the furry community is either immature or wasting my time while life passes me by.

If money wasn't a thing and I was free to do whatever I want with no restrictions, I would just stay in my room and draw furry porn all day regardless of how many people are watching me: but sadly we live under capitalism and everything we have to do must be monetarily viable lest we starve. This means I cant go life alone like I would like to. My relationship to my fellow man is much like your relationship to tigers: majestic creatures who can be appreciated and must be protected, but from a distance.

It creates a strange dichotomy for me: either I take a huge selfish risk for myself making art for the furry community in hopes it will one day pay off: justifying every choice I've made up to this point and ultimately making me happy and hope that when I look back on it that I didn't waste my life and it wasn't just a sunk cost fallacy.

Or I do what society wants me to do, work the pure technical job, dont draw for the furry community: get in a relationship so I atleast have someone backing me up in this mad world and hope that when I reach 60 we have enough pooled resources to retire. I've never really been one for being in a relationship and to be honest the only reason I would get into a relationship is purely political, as two people fighting side by side to survive gives me a better fighting chance. Wolves who arent a part of any pack die faster and alone after all: humans are social animals.

Obviously any girl would just need to take one look at my furry hobby and run screaming for the hills: but lets put all that aside. I dont find humans attractive at all, I dont find bestiality or zoophilia attractive either. What I find sexy and attractive doesn't exist. I will never be satisfied. Even if I found a significant other, how well do you think she would be able to mentally cope with a boyfriend that will never find her attractive? That she will have to compete with cartoon drawings of wolf/cat girls with tits? On one hand that means looks don't matter to me in a significant other, but thats only only because my standards are so unrealistically high I will never be satisfied. I have never found any human attractive: and that cannot possibly form a healthy or lasting relationship. I cant do that to anyone, no matter how scared of dying alone I may get in the future: I cannot in good faith inflict that level of mental pain on anyone.

When I put my love for the furry art in the context of a relationship it makes me look really immature doesn't it? But thats what my mind decided to find attractive, I cant just shut it off can I? I can draw furry porn, I can make 3D furry porn, but should I? Thats the million dollar question isnt it? Am I immature? Am I selfish for not feeling the need to be in a relationship? Is there something wrong with me for wanting to be single? I've seen incels who would kill to look like me and everyone I talked to said I'm fairly attractive, am I wasting my looks by choosing not to be in a relationship? Will I regret this years down the line? Am I doing life right?

Who knows, I'll still draw for this community and hopefully one day it will be worth it. Maybe everything sucks and nothing matters and no matter what path I choose I will never be satisfied. But if I act like this is the case then, logically, I should just lie on the floor and wait for the sweet release of death. And that doesn't help anyone, least of all me. I can at least have a good time while I'm here, and try and make sure other people have a good time too. After all, if nothing matters, then doing the logical thing doesn't matter either.

And shame on me for not keeping any of you in the loop. 45,000 unread submissions, 54 new watchers, 6,000 unread journels, 40 unread notes. I dont even know where to start. Working at the Amazon warehouse made me unrelentingly, unyieldingly miserable.

When I graduated from college in 2016, I thought I would have all the time in the world to make art for my portfolio and get hired in the game industry: but with no schedule and routine to keep me in check: I sat in stagnation while my peers all succeed in some way, shape or form. I sat in stagnation until mid 2017, when my student loans started to bear down on me and forced me to get a job.

I worked as a character artist for an indie studio as an intern, but to my shame and because of my toxic ego at the time: none of the assets I made were used ingame. I take full responsibility for that. Part of it was because I was so focused on becoming popular in the furry community: I didn't notice my future rotting around me. The other part was because my ego hated making art for other people. I have nobody but myself to blame for that one.

So I ground away 3 years of my life at amazon to stave off my student loans, four ten hour shifts a week with just my mind screaming what a miserable failure I was. Where once I was filled with hope and optimism that things would get better after my bleak childhood and teenage life filled with bullying, depression, and pain: all that pain would be vindicated, justified because it had a happy ending.

Then Amazon happened

The first year I was in what could be described as the darkest place in my life thus far. Thinking back on it, it is technically a miracle I didn't kill myself. Endless compounding thoughts of failure and regret of past decisions pushed me into an incredibly dark and toxic headspace that shook the very mental foundations of my sanity. Even worse still, was that I was too proud to tell anyone about these issues. You have to understand, I was a pillar, an inspiration for many of my friends and family. I had so many expectations placed on me: and if they saw me break, what do you think that would've done to their morale?

The second year I started becoming numb to the suicidal thoughts as I was introduced to drugs. I never did any of the hard shit like coke, herion, or meth: but holy shit did I do alot of weed, acid, shrooms, ketamine, and dmt. No amount of drugs could numb me to reality however and eventually I would have to come to terms with the fact I lied to myself about everything. Every day my mind would screech at me for being a failure. "You suck at art, you couldn't even get hired in the industry: you cant even do this job right: you are such a fucking failure."

But then life threw me an optimistic curveball. Jesonite returned from his 5 year absence. Jesonite: my most favorite artist, the whole reason I picked up a pencil in the first place started uploading again. For anyone who hasn't been with me since the beginning: Jesonite's art is my entire reason for my artistic existence. There are many artists that I enjoy, but Jesonite is the one who pushed me over the edge to inspire me to draw and seeing him return reignited my need to make art. To emulate. I would give almost anything to be on Jesonite's level. My admiration for Jesonite's art border's on an almost cult like obsession.

The second curveball I discovered I had a natural talent for Python Scripting and I dug into it: hardcore. This was it, this was my exit strategy to escape this miserable warehouse hellscape. I built my first autorigger within two months of learning python. It took many tutorials and trial and error: but I figured out how to make stable humanoid rigs for 3d models. I poured EVERYTHING into python: this came at a rather saddening price though.

By the third year at Amazon I was desperate to escape at any cost: no matter the price, even if it came at the cost of my artistic ability. My hatred of Amazon outweighed my love of Jesonite's art. I poured so much of my time, effort, and ability into the technical aspects of rigging I didn't realize my ability to make art I love had atrophied away. I escaped Amazon: but at what cost?

I wanted to tell you guys about a happy story about escaping your shitty job with a cliche happy quote at the end: but what I did was reckless, self abusive, and insane. I repressed self destructive feelings until it cost me my drawing ability to escape from a miserable warehouse into an industry that crunches me because of stockholders and boardroom executives needing their games released early on holiday for maximum profit.

I haven't made an art piece since September of last year. Every time I put my stylus to tablet, I'm racked by fear. Do I even know what they want anymore? Do I even know what I want anymore? What have I even become as an artist? Am I even an artist? If I draw again will that take away from my abilities to python code and rig? Rigging is the only thing that puts food on the table for me, if I lose that I'm homeless. I dont even remember my process for making art. If I make art will they even like if it's too different from what I usually make?

I dont even like my username, I hate it: but since FA is ancient I cant change it. I dont even know what to do anymore.

Maybe I'll make a new account. I dont know where to go from here

Hey guys quick update: I've been working on 3d models and rigging and I should hopefully have some something to show you before August.

Anyways, growing up I was a huge Sony fanboy: so I didnt get to ride the Halo hype train like most of my gaming peers sadly. I was young and stupid and probably though I would get a free blowjob or some shit if I argued hard enough for Sony in the Colosseum of online debate. Looking back on it I already cringe just thinking about it.

One of my favorite things about the PS3 was it's free online, I wasn't much of a Call of Duty or Battlefield person either: so my favorite online shooter was Killzone 3. It was such an amazing experience: everything was perfectly balanced and the game just had this perfect level of clunky realistic war movement. I dont know how many hours I sunk into Killzone 3's online: I just remember it being in the hundreds. It was one of the few online shooters I could say I was pretty decent at and one of the few online games I actually liked (The others being Dark Souls) I would often cycle between the infiltrator or the Sniper: I made melee kills in that game a fucking art form.

I found my old PS3 a few weeks ago, dusted it off and booted up KZ3 only to learn they shut down the servers in mid 2018. It saddened me greatly and hit me alot harder than I though it would. I know the PS3 wasn't as popular as the 360 and thanks to COD Killzone 3 sadly slipped under the radar, but that game was a part of my later teenage years man.

I know since the PS3's online was free this was inevitable: but honestly it doesn't hurt any less. A great game like Killzone 3 doesn't deserve to die in obscurity like it did. I wish there was a way I could set up a fan server or something to keep it going.

RIP Killzone 3, it was amazing while it lasted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysPQVa3XZPI

You know what irks me about not so much Metokur, but the people like Josh from kiwi farms who say all furries are implicit in the zoo sadist leaks with Kero?

Is the entire anime community complicit if an individual watches loli/shota and rapes a kid?

Is the entire right wing complicit in terroism because of Timothy McVeigh and Abortion clinic bombers?

First, let me preface this by saying I have a Muslim friend named Aashif, Aashif is about as Muslim as your drunk redneck friend is "Christian" which is to say your drunk redneck friend shaves, eats seafood, curses, eats pork, associates with woman on their periods, and wears clothing made of 2 different materials, all things the Bible forbids: he doesnt even go to church and takes the lords name in vain: but for some odd reason: still calls himself a christian.

Thats the type of "Muslim" my friend Aashif is, he drinks alcohol, eats pork, and doesn't go to Mosque: Like at all. Yet every time a terrorist attack rolls around it's the same song and dance. The media shrieks "WHY ARENT ALL MOOSLIMS UNANIMOUSLY APOLOGIZING FOR THIS JIHADIST'S CRIME?!!!??111!!!??"
What exactly do you expect Aashif to say? He wasn't even born in the middle east. He posts cat pictures to his 137 followers on twitter. The highlight of his month is getting stoned off his ass with me. Do you expect his magical condemnation to just solve religious terrorism over night? Do you think the terrorists look to Aashif's approval before they commit their acts of violent extremism? Is my friend Aashif complicit in acts of religious extremism?

Or maybe, hear me out here: maybe, just maybe the Jihadists are the violent outliers in this situation and since they are extremists they are just going to mosy along ahead regardless of what the moderates think because they are a small minority of EXTREMISTS! Extremists who are deviants because they view the moderates as weak and are going to act with or without their approval because they are fucking insane religious whackjobs? Maybe the extremists are going to act no matter how much the moderate protests because they dont care?

Thats what Josh here is forgetting, see Josh apparently wasn't told that furrys having a connected hivemind enabling us to immediately weed out zoophiles/sadists with our magic furry rainbow dance of friendship the instant they commit unspeakable acts of horror against children and animals is just a myth. We're all complicit in this?

Fuck you

I didnt even hear about Kero and the Zoo crew until a few months ago. We're not connected by a hive mind: we dont know when or where extremists are going to appear, and the extremists? Newsflash, they're fucking insane: they're going to do whatever disgusting depraved act of cruelty with or without the approval of moderate because they are FUCKING INSANE! If the furry fandom didn't exist, Nelizar/Snakething would still be out there fucking decapitated puppy heads to his black little heart's content.

You bring up grooming parties at conventions? Fine, I'll give you that, heres the thing though: I dont go to conventions, the majority of us dont even go to conventions or condone that and anyone with 2 braincells to rub together speaks out against it, most of us dont even fursuit: but you wont talk about that because it doesnt fit your narrative, we just sit on the internet looking at humanoid cartoon animal titties. Most of us (Myself included) arent even sexually attracted to anything that walks on more than 2 legs. Hell, in the entire kiwi farms category for "Animal Control" out of 250 results there are only 9 zoosadists (10 if you count AshlyFox, who they labeled as a zoosadist despite the fact that Ashleyfox is just a fucked in the head fanboy apologist of Kero trying to ride his dying coattails to fame, They even admit this in the thread and called Ashleyfox a Zoosadist anyways)

I already condemn Kero and his group of crazies, do you really think me saying Kero or Nelizar is a piece of shit is going to stop them the next time they are fucking puppy skulls and say "Oh gee, I get immense sexual pleasure from fucking children and torturing animals: but random furry community user X saying it's wrong has totally fixed my brain from it's deviancy: Gosh golly, I think I'll turn myself into the police with my new found sense of morality."

NO! They're fucking crazy, thats the point. They're the minority, the extremist, the outlier. I'm supposed to have a fucking radar every time somebody goes Buffalo Bill in the furry community? If the furry community is so loving and accepting of zoosadism, why did they carry out all their zoosadist degeneracy in private chat logs? Wouldn't a loving open and accepting fandom allow and encourage them to talk about it freely out in the open? Because I'm telling you right now: if they discused that shit out in the open: we would track them down and mount their heads on spikes. You expected us to know the actions of a small group of 9 extremists in a community off millions: only exposed by the logs being leaked? You expected us to expose psychopaths we didn't even know existed? How were we supposed to figure that out without the leaker? Riddle me that Batman

Nobody is in charge of policing the furry community, the same way nobody is in charge of the policing the comic book community, or the anime community, or the steampunk community. Some of us can control forums, but thats it. The furry fandom doesn't have a police force, it if someone commits a crime: you report them to the actual police. The most an average citizen can do in a serial killer station is report suspicious activity to the police, and thats about it. Would you blame the entire population of a city if a few residents turns out to be serial killers?


Christ on a fucking crutch, the Kiwifarms answer to zoophiles and zoosadists seems to be to grow a magical sense of telepathy and keep tabs on every member of the fandom at all times and hope that us saying "You're a bad person" after dancing the merry friendship jig will make them stop being insane.

It's as absurd as telling Aasif to tell the big bad terrorist to take his bomb vest off. People like Kero and the Zoo crew already have one too many screws loose in their head to begin with, and no amount of condemnation from the furry community will prevent their actions or make them stop because they view themselves as above or superior to the moderate member of the furry community. They are not looking for our approval in the first place, the same way the Terrorist doesn't look for the approval of the moderate first.

If you see suspicious activity, call the police: thats the best we can do.

Not that I uploaded on it much anyways, or just upload much in general: seriously, if you are new to my page I am so, so, so from the bottom of my heart sorry for the lack of uploads. I've been teaching myself python scripting for Maya which is going just as well as you would expect from somebody trying to teach themselves advanced programming. My hope is to significantly speed up my rigging process: my current time plan is 9 months unless one of you knows a python tutor.

Anyways, Tumblr decided to shoot themselves in the foot after injecting what I assume was a bathtub of bathsalts straight into their eyeballs because one of the bright minds in charge of that internet dumpster fire decided to ban adult content and with it: 90% of the site. Lest we forget, this is the same company that organised DashCon and thought a ballpit was VIP material. I'm not saying this was unexpected, but I'm pretty sure half the people running the site huff pottery glue and it's melted half their brains and as a result didn't think this decision through.

Anyways, you can also follow my newly created twitter, which at the moment is empty: like the cold, unfeeling void Amazon has ripped into me so many many moons ago:

https://twitter.com/Cpt_Haze

It's funny thinking of this whole "Kero the Wolf" situation, I mean, it's so fucked. I dont understand how anyone can be this cruel. I've watched documentary's on sex trafficking, war zones, utter poverty: but this is what breaks me. Why? Why would anyone do anything to something as innocent as as young animals who dont know any better that place their trust in you? What the fuck is wrong with this species?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbzUOajs2d8

Stop trying to be accepted by the public, you're never going to be: because no matter how hard you try to rememedy this fandoms image, shit like this is the only thing that anyone is going to care about when they hear about this fandom. It doesnt matter that the VAST MAJORITY of you are disgusted by and denounce Kero's degenerate, disgusting, sadistic behavior, It doesnt matter that the majority of us only jerk it to non existant 2 legged anthros, it doesnt matter that most of us are just in it for the art, it doesnt matter that the vast majority of us dont even fursuit. At the end of the day, the instant you say "I'm a furry" thats it, It's over. They're never going to see you as a moderate: even though you are, they are just going to see you as a sick degenerate that want to fuck puppies with a baseball bat who deserves to hang from the end of a tree: even though you arent turned on by anything that walks on more than 2 legs and I know you arent because you are watching me and I dont draw that feral shit.

I make it no secret that I'm part of the "Kage Furries ruin everything" crowd, but it today's world, All liberals are insane shrill SJWs, all conservatives are far fight fringe anarcho capitalist racists, and all furries want to fuck animals. There is no room for nuance anymore, entire groups are only judged by the actions of the fringe hardliners and extremists: and why wouldent they be? They are the loudest voices in the room afterall. It's the nutjobs and extremists who make for the most exciting stories. I want you to look at the comments in this video. I dont want you to reply to any of them, or start flame wars, or report anything: these are the people you are trying to convince that you are "normal" but first off, you arent going to. These people came to the video to validate their hatred of you: and no amount of convincing is EVER going to change that. They WANT to hate you and this most recent peice of kindling is just another log in the pile of fuel for their flaming rage.

Two, it's time we talk furry fandom. You're not "Normal" what you have, what I have: is a fetish, that is all: a fetish. Just like people who like to be shit on, just like people who like to have their ball's stepped on and be told how worthless they are: YOU have fetish. You had no say in it: but here you are. We dont get to choose what we jerk the gherkin or flick the bean to: but we can attempt to make it bearable. Unfortunately when some of you prance around in fursuits and shit in diapers/flood buildings at conventions or go full Kero, you rip the sanest among us from our warm, safe, moderate, little out of the way paradise where we can just trade, make, and appreciate art and force us to be judged alongside you. Watching that video, really tested my faith in this fandom, because I know the vast majority of you arent Kero, but if anyone in the industry I work in found out what I was: they wouldn't see a guy who draws pinup art, they will only assume I want to rape decapitated puppy heads in a mascot costume.

So stop trying to be accepted, you're never going to be: the best you can hope for is that we figure out a way to segregate the zoophiles and and psychopaths, just stay cool and under the radar like any other fandom and maybe, JUST MAYBE: we will one day be judged as an abnormal, but mostly harmless fandom: but who am I kidding? Thats never gonna happen. See ya when the next sadist gets a spotlight and we all have to pay for their sins.

Sorry for the lack of Updates, I've been working on building my Game Art portfolio so I can get out of the hell that is the Amazon warehouse I work at. That and a few projects I've been working on for a few friends and favorite artists of mine has taken up most of my time. It's actually been great, Amazon has filled me with so much rage at myself and my circumstances it finally convinced me to get off my lazy ass and fight for a better future.

Now I know what you are are going to say "But, Haze: kids in Africa can eat that job!" and a spiel on how I should be happy I have a job: here is the thing though, nobody grows up dreaming of becoming an Amazon warehouse employee one day. Kids grow up dreaming they can become, Astronauts, firefighters, police officers Video game designers (Like me): Nobody grows up thinking "Oh gee, I would love to stumble through a massive corporate warehouse with a scan gun, loading shit into yellow crates in hopes I can meet a near impossible rate that I sometimes have to skip all but one of my breaks to meet! I mean, I don't need my feet amirite?"

I'm supposed to be grateful? Just because some people don't have shit to eat means I have to eat shit? For my non American followers: the US doesn't believe in a living wage. You see, our older generations have a pretentious attitude that we millennials just don't work hard enough and "We just need to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" then ignore all the convient facts like how years of establishment butfucking outsourced all the good jobs overseas or how inflation rose: but the minimum wage didn't: so while previous generations could go to college on a nickle: my generation often has to work multiple jobs just in hopes we can pay off the students loans we are drowning in. My generations works the hardest for the least compensation. That's what I am reminded of every day I am forced to wake up to sacrifice precious time of my life at the altar of Jeff Bezos.

Amazon has taught me 2 vital lessons:

Number one, just because somebody has it worse doesn't mean you lose the right to complain. If a guy gets a firecracker shoved up his ass: does that automatically make it ok for me to shove a cactus up your ass? I mean, it's not as bad as the firecracker right? I'm tired of that pretentious argument. You shouldn't have to eat shit just because somebody less fortunate then you doesnt have shit to eat.

Number two: how much time I've been wasting and where I've been wasting it and I'm sorry to say FA: you've been a tremendous waste of my time. I should have been focused on getting a job in college rather than trying to get Efamous on borderline furry porn. For 6 years I've poured everything into making it on this website and I could barely scratch 1,000 watchers. It's so easy to say "Well watchers aren't a measure of how good you are as an artist" it's easy to say that when you have 20,000 followers all across various websites willing to jump on a sword and buy commisions off you so you don't risk starving. Saying "Watchers dont matter" is the perfect equivalent of humble bragging it's an empty platitude: it means nothing when your only other option for money is sprinting around a warehouse the size of a small airport for 10 hours a day. I had that mentality once you know? I was fine with just being a good artist you know: but then I realised just being a good artist doesn't pay bills, auto insurance, internet bills, student loans, food, electricity, health insurance, replacement parts for my PC, heating, ect. If Furaffinity payed off for me, I wouldn't be saying this: and yes, I do have a share of blame for my failure on this site. 1000, watchers, that's 166 per year give or take: Stoopix makes that much in a month.

I've wasted too much time here, it's become unhealthy: I've poured in way too much and gotten way too little. At this point it's agonising, I hate to do this, it pains me to do this, I LOVE this community: but I just need to cut my losses and move on. If I poured this much into my portfolio I would probably be at Blizzard, Riot, or Insomniac by now. I'm at the edge of a cliff here, holding two people to prevent them from falling to their death, in one hand is furaffinity and the other is my future in the game industry. I cant save both of you, one of you has to fall: and for the sake of my future it has to be you. I have to cut my losses and move on.

I don't want to leave: but I don't have a choice, I cant stand Amazon: I don't want the rest of my life to be a combination of shitty warehouse and service industry jobs for survival: I want to be something, Anything in the Game industry far, far, away from where I am now. I feel like I'm hacking off an arm here, but it's either that or die starving under the bouder it's pinned to.

It's been fun guys, and I'll still upload from time to time: but life is demanding better out of me, and my portfolio is my only escape, my only salvation from this mess I have landed myself in.