Hah, wow, I guess I just don't come on here that often anymore! My bi-yearly update I suppose?

Wow, been almost two years since I've made a journal on here. Truth be told, there really hasn't been a lot to talk about, or at least in reference to furry stuff. Life's been horribly mundane.

Reading back through all the posts I used to make gives me a sense of perspective, though. I feel a huge disconnect between those days and now. The rants I used to make, the rumors, the gossip, the drama, the shit people needlessly put poor Dragoneer through.. crazy times. But, life just goes on. Sitting here, blowing smoke rings with Gandalf.. 'tis the way of adventure, I suppose.

Oh, hah! Alright, since everyone and their grandma are able to read this, I suppose I should disclose the funniest thing about all this.. honestly I feel really "straight" these days. XD ... Alright, alright, not THAT straight, Aogami's art is to die for.. but love does interesting things to a lion. I think that's what it was. It took falling in love with a.. *gasp* woman.. to turn a supposed public enemy #1 into a boring docile grown-up. I guess that's perhaps the least mundane thing that could happen? But no! No! I have a reputation to maintain! Rawr! Hate me!

... Yeah I know, bummer huh?

Why do I get Tee'd off about art posts who censor their art on here only to get you to want to buy something somewhere else. It's a short change! Duh! It's like Rick-Rolling someone. You see this beautiful looking thumbnail so you click on it, then HOLY SHIT THERE"S A BIG BLACK FUCKING BOX NOT LETTING ME SEE WHAT I JUST CLICKED ON. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5198578/

Now granted, it's partially my fault for speeding through this one and not paying attention to the thumbnail close enough, but I've seen some who replace the thumbnail with the uncensored version. It's BS, imo.

[6:02:39 PM] TheFurfag: How old are you?
[6:02:48 PM] Crassus: 32, you?
[6:02:55 PM] TheFurfag: 18. :3
[6:02:57 PM] Crassus: Ahh
[6:03:11 PM] TheFurfag: I had figured you were early 30s, old man
[6:04:08 PM] TheFurfag: And I take it you're a furfag?
[6:04:15 PM] Crassus: Excuse me?
[6:04:24 PM] TheFurfag: Are you a furry?
[6:04:39 PM] Crassus: I'm not a furfag, thank you.
[6:05:02 PM] TheFurfag: Just wondering, since you had showed us the work you did for the website for that furry con
[6:05:17 PM] Crassus: I'm a furry, yes.
[6:05:35 PM] TheFurfag: The two words are synonymous for me. My apologies
[6:06:34 PM] Crassus: And that's what's troubling about the furry community today, imo.
[6:06:43 PM] TheFurfag: What's troubling?
[6:07:04 PM] Crassus: The fact that more people are relenting to the haters.
[6:07:16 PM] Crassus: It's like calling ourselves niggers.
[6:07:34 PM] TheFurfag: I don't really consider it a thing of hate, either. I guess to me it's just akin to how everyone on /b/ is reffered to as a fag
[6:07:42 PM] TheFurfag: newfag, oldfag, etc
[6:07:56 PM] TheFurfag: But I understand where you're coming from.
[6:08:33 PM] Crassus: It's the haters who started it. Now it's become institutionalized just like every other form of racism.
[6:10:08 PM] TheFurfag: Furry isn't an integral enough part of my identity to have really thought about it all that much
[6:13:21 PM] Crassus: Racism, at its root, is simply one group of people making themselves out to be better than another. Whether it be based on location, ethnicity, sexual preference, what have you... you can get infinite combinations, and then people start saying, "It's not racism." But the root is the same. "I'm better than you so I'm going to push you down into the dirt." And when you get the group of people being oppressed assimilating those terms of hatred into their own culture, you get furs calling themselves furfags.
[6:14:46 PM] Crassus: Soon it becomes cool, trendy, but intermixed with that is this sense of identity that you ARE inferior, and you're merely putting up with the oppression, accepting it as part of yourself, and that's a really unhealthy thing for a community to do, because then they really DO start losing their sense of self worth, and they feel like they need to start fitting in with the dominant culture who's oppressing them, and I see that happening all over the fandom.
[6:15:12 PM] Crassus: Erotic furry art isn't "yiff art", anymore, it's "furry porn"
[6:15:29 PM] TheFurfag: I hate when people bitch about what words other people use
[6:15:35 PM] Crassus: The fandom is quickly turning into a bunch of partiers in fursuits rather than a collection of artists and fans.
[6:15:57 PM] TheFurfag: Someone yelled at me for 10 minutes because I said yiff. D:
[6:16:20 PM] Crassus: I say let them yell at you, and flip them off while you're at it. If they have a problem with it, fuck them.
[6:16:37 PM] Crassus: It's like "boyfriend" versus "mate"
[6:18:10 PM] Crassus: The entire idea of relationships in the furry fandom was very uranian in nature, mixed with eastern culture, open polyamory and naturalism.. now it's "sluts." The whole frame of idea what is and isn't acceptable is really important, and that's reflected in what language people use with each other..
[6:19:39 PM] Crassus: It's like what's happening with raver culture. PLURR was a word that was made and modified to give the ravers a sense of community, and it's quickly being washed away. Most ravers have no idea that their community spurred from the poets and hippies leftover from the 70's in Haight-Ashbury
[6:21:30 PM] Crassus: It's conformity versus non-conformity. The entire generation of people who rebelled against "the man" is struggling horribly to retain its sense of identity amidst this huge force of mainstream culture controlled by the very thing which we're all trying to escape from.
[6:22:36 PM] TheFurfag: I understand
[6:23:13 PM] Crassus: So no, I'm not a furfag... people can call me that if they want, but I'll just keep flipping them off.
[6:23:27 PM] TheFurfag: I apologize.
[6:25:38 PM] Crassus: Oh, and btw, I'm not an old man, either, thanks.

I appreciate that this site makes money off of advertising.. but..

http://ox.furaffinity.net/img/d4246.....accb2f9144.gif

http://bunnywarez.com/catalog/

What the hell is this? -_-

Alright, alright, alright, I'm joined up. Had to hop on the bandwagon of course. I might even post up some art soon. I honestly think it would be awesome though if once things settle down that Dragoneer and Starling figure out some way to syndicate on each other's sites like a form of Twitter Intercom for furries.. would be rather beneficial for things, I'd think. {{^^}}

Huh.. wait... Furry Twitter... Furitter?

FuritterCom™! It must be done. o_o

You know, beyond re-releasing a movie in a new format to make more money, I really see no reason why they release a blu-ray 1080p version of a movie without actually getting a print worthy of putting into that format. When someone buys a new bigscreen TV with HDMI and all that jazz, I'm sure they never even considered being cheated that way.

I can't help but notice how the term "Shota" crept into the furry vernacular.

Don't get me wrong... whatever helps popularize and "make cool" age disparity in relationships is fine by me, so it's not a huge deal. It's just that everytime I hear it, my OCD side feels a little off. It's like having someone pinprick you on the shoulder repeatedly: While it doesn't cause lifelong damage, it's something you wish would stop.

Seriously. Shota, although I'm a big fan of it, is not a term historically used by furs to describe furry cubs, cublovers, or anything "furry." Back during my days as Treehouse administrator on Taps, we simply just called it "cubs." Back during the early FC conventions, the rest of us cublovers would hang out on a Friday evening and have pizza, and never once would "shota" escape our lips.

(Incidentally, I can't begin to tell you how hilarious all the "OMFG THE FURRY CUB PEOPLE ARE HAVING A SECRET MEETING" rumors were back in those days. Meanwhile, here we were just kicking back and having pizza. God, I love conspiracies. Little would I know that 7 years later I would be helping Jery form 100+ person open-door Softpaw room parties with pizza at AC. Ain't it weird how life is sometimes?)

Anyways, the problem with the term is that it's coming from another fandom whose perception of "shota" is completely different. Not that that's bad; I always love a little trade of ideas between cultures. What's different? Well, let me ask you: what's the difference between the mainstream media's interpretation of "furry" versus what we really are?

The concept of "being a cub" and "being a boy" is just as different as "being a furry" and "being a human." That is to say, the internal, psychological feeling you get, separating yourself from the human race through trans-human expression is the element that's missing from "shota."

So again, I guess my real beef is that "human" is creeping into "furry." It's just seeping in little by little as we grow and become more "cool" to everyone else. As this happens, we as a fandom are losing bits and pieces of what we once were. So then I guess it all comes back to that OTHER old argument of "is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

The newer furs coming into the scene don't see the difference, and they don't know their own fandom's history. While it's all about having fun and being accepted, what's considered "acceptable" vs. "taboo" is changing. And it's changing all because what people think of as "furry" is changing, and I'm afraid of us "oldfags" losing our home that we once knew simply due to someone else's ignorance over where they came from and what was given to them. This little world we know as the furry fandom gave me a place for me to start feeling good about myself and being able to talk freely about who I am and what I am, and it's slipping away for the sake of being cool and fitting in.

But then again, I guess I'm just "getting old" so I deserve to be shoved out with the mail like the generation before me... oh wait, I forgot. We didn't shove the 1980's generation furs in the 1990's. We respected them. Or at least *I* did. (With the exception of those nasty burned furs...)

"What's a burned fur?"

... Ugh, forget it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA-t1dsnl0U

Why can't they have more commercials with characters like that.. <_< (Minus the Grease reference...)

I've actually been quite confused as to Yiffstar's changeover to their new hip "web 2.0" type look with "SoFurry". They're trying to move from what they started out as: a simple fiction repository into a social networking site. I know they're trying to jump onto a popular bandwagon, but it seems like they're trading the quiet, not-as-popular yet wonderfully comfortable wagon into the overcrowded world of ever-failing furry social networking sites--which I should add there are just too many of these days. But, I can see why. Furries more than anyone crave friends that can understand them. But, the funny thing about that is soon the furry fandom will be so nil mill and "cool" that there won't be any need for a specially-crafted site. Why on Earth would furries feel like they need to pull toward being mainstream? I don't get it. Is it money? Or is it just that we've lost site of what makes us what we are?

I'm not driven to write on this journal much. In the past it's usually been some sort of politically-incorrect diatribe. But at this point, nothing of the sort matters to me. The only thing that matters is that all of this turns out to have a happy ending. I don't think I've been caught up in so much personal, ever-changing goings-ons in a long time. Hell, I can't even sleep because I don't know how to feel or why my actions are what they are.

On one hand I have the desire for things between us all to be cozy and tight knit--happily ever after... as if that ever happens in life. On the other hand, I can't stand what I've been through this last year. I fucked up my progress. People say I'm a fool. I'm realizing how codependent I am. But all of these old feelings having surfaced within me are reminding me of what it's like to be alive. I haven't gotten anywhere but yet it feels like I've made leaps and bounds. I feel like I've spent too much time in my own personal hell.

I feel straighter. But I'm hunching more and more. I'm scared about things. Makes me shiver. I don't know where I'm headed.

They've been doing a rather excellent job at critically analyzing this country's issues with both age of consent and homosexual children. Of course, being a mainstream news media source, they're generally too broad or too narrow in some of the questions they ask or the answers they receive. They have a link to a page on their article called: "Is There a 'Gay Gene'?" to a researcher's website devoted to answering questions about their children's homosexuality, and what to do. Of course, the lady's web form is broken, so after writing her a nice little essay about my thoughts on sexuality, it of course was all for naught.

So, rather than wasting it to the ages, I felt I might as well bore the lot of you with it...

Enjoy!

Hello! My name is [omitted]. I was looking over the 20/20 website through their in-depth coverage of age of consent and child sexuality, and I felt rather compelled to email you with some input. I'd love to hear from you in return if you have the time.

Gay vs. Straight. I think that the issue is widely considered in much too simplistic a fashion. Even Dr. Alfred Kinsey's approach to homosexuality (from what I know of it) was too simplistic. As I'm sure you're aware, he made a 1-6 chart. It was a linear approach where before genetic study came about, it must have seemed very logical and rational. But with all of the recent findings, and the completion of the genetic map, simply seems too simplistic to contemplate in a world where so many genetic combinations exist.

I had a friend who was a boy, felt like he was a girl, but was attracted to other girls. "A lesbian trapped in a man's body." I've also seen examples of the opposite: A boy who feels like a girl but is attracted to boys. "A woman trapped in a man's body." A girl who is attracted to boys but feels that she is a boy: "A gay man trapped in a woman's body". The list just keeps going on. Therefore, not only is there an over-simplistic way in which we consider homosexuality, but people tend to forget that there is both masculine and feminine traits pre-programmed into us. And, if what Kinsey was saying is true, logically, these traits must ALSO have a 1-6 scale of degree. As a result, a person's sexuality, just as any other human or mammalian trait, would essentially become an infinite plethora of scales, like a massive mixing board you see at a recording studio but hundreds of times larger and more complex. What's more is that these, like the sliders on a mixer board, would (to one degree or another) be able to be slid up or down. I believe this concept is what Freud tried to convey by coining to the term "polymorphous perverse."

All attributes of sex preference would have to be considered under these same standards: Age, sex, gender, race, physique, etc. Age would be no exception in the very least. There's the age at which you adopt physical sexual traits; the age at which you begin ejaculating or menstruating; the age where you find others attractive; the age where you consider yourself ready for sexual contact to one degree or another. All of these, using the same slider scale, would be different in every individual. Next, every slider might affect another slider. For example, the preconditioning for one slider—let's say, the time at which one begins to develop breasts and start menstruating—is primarily affected by another slider—the amount of fat intake the body receives and gives signals to begin sexual traits (as they are now finding out).

Besides the over-simplistic fashion in which people consider sexual orientation, there is yet another error that strikes me as odd. The word "trapped" when used in a context to describe someone who acts in a fashion other than the accepted social norm signals to me that whoever is saying it is /assuming/ that a male should act one way and a female should act another way. Taken on a larger scale, this would also apply to practically any other trait which the person may or may not have any control over. Instead of lamenting over the fact that someone's child may be different than all the other children, perhaps society as a whole needs to have a sea change in the way it treats people different than themselves. I understand that we're a species that likes patterns. When something is different in the pattern, it drives us nuts. When a male acts "prissy", they automatically claim that he's gay, when he could in fact be very straight but merely have feminine characteristics. When a woman finds her 14 year old student "hot as hell" and ends up a having sexual relationship, they label her as a sex offender. All of these situations may or may not have negative or positive consequences. However, would it not be more wise and prudent for a society to realize that even an "offender" of a crime might also in a way be a "victim"?

The negative psychological effects of suppressing one's own natural urges have been documented throughout the ages. Even Shakespeare, when his character Romeo exclaims: "Not mad, but bound more than a mad-man is; Shut up in prison, kept without my food, Whipp'd and tormented and--" is describing his negative effects of suppression of the male eros and libido. Whatever sexual desire might be "out of style" at one point in time in society, it does absolutely no good to punish the "perpetrator", the "pervert", or the "offender". Medical castration for offenders or the death penalty (as is being used in some states nor for "repeat offenders") is useless and only drags us back to the dark ages of inquisitions and witch hunts.

If our society's most racist bigots are to claim biological, moral, and cultural superiority, even they would need to recognize their own shortcomings of education and wisdom in order for their claims to be made true. The same should then go as a lesson to the rest of us. Who are we to proclaim that we are morally superior than the flaming queer or the dirty old man on a park bench? Do we hate what we fear so badly that we in turn create objects of fear within ourselves? Let's hope we gain the wisdom to see our folly and pull ourselves out of the traps we've set.

Well, apparently cub art was banned from fchan the other day. More specifically, "Babyfurs that are not clearly adult, and Cub art, will not be tolerated."

Mind you, just because someone can ejaculate semen or has breasts does not make them an adult. I know many teenagers that have huge breasts, are able to give birth, are slutty, have many kinks that the mainstream doesn't like, and are "adult" in every way, but have not yet become full legal adults yet. Usually these teens end up on Jerry Springer.

So, to commemorate this act of ignorant hysteria on the fchan admins' part, here's a small list of posts on fchan that "clearly" violate their new policy:

http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195336977913_106.png
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195337037730_111.png
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195345917527_inu.gif
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119534598864.....889616_ZZZ.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195346071400_0011.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119534616803.....tingtheice.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119542007649.....kitty-toyC.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119542012613.....ceandslowC.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195420187520_Kittysuk.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195420221026_cumcubC.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119542027495.....introubleC.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119542030889.....oCubs_RogC.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195420369502_kittied.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195420467895_Neko_wife.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119542084112.....ttystuff2C.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195530505731_MGSwolves.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195579116432_Zoo.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195673864479_jnabltc.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119569041814.....alousMares.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119582826678.....commission.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119586607965.....meniuma_06.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119586619205.....meniuma_09.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119586627105.....meniuma_12.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119586638654.....meniuma_14.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119591696893.....nyanswifti.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119591708665....._evs000031.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119591714695.....rmeleonFem.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119591719843.....xyliakylen.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119591740348.....red_art_65.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195917431748_OB000038.png
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195917458216_OB001584.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1195917486035_OB001598.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119599401173.....se-commish.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119599410106.....darkhorse1.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119599422413.....e_marelove.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119599437572.....entrigue06.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1196008205476_dread228.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1196367711797_chuu.gif
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119644203111.....ina_doggio.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119741655328.....-byECMajor.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1198754989982_uma_9.gif
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1199195680619_The_pet_1.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1199195793575_The_pet_2.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119919584187.....-deersechs.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119919613670.....63d150ec9f.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_119939867822.....ucks.sized.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1201835506989.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_120250950088.....n_Cerberus.png
http://fchan.us/src/ah_120269322349.....fullKittyC.jpg
http://fchan.us/src/ah_120311241432....._Cerberus2.png
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1203116927658_gura.gif
http://fchan.us/src/ah_1205034381009_3990.png

Mind you, this is just from one thread after about 10 minutes of searching. I would say about 90% of the art on fchan would not be able to pass their test of "not clearly an adult." Moreover, I really don't see a 18 U.S.C. § 2257 disclaimer on ANY piece of art every made by any furry.

It's absurd that mods could even begin to fathom a concept such as basing RL, non-applicable laws relating to RL humans on fully-fictional fantasy art created by artificial means.

This kinda shit will happen on FA eventually. Just watch.

Of course, CrushYiffDestroy has to put in their measly two cents about Softpaw's Ban.

One of the commentators makes an ignorant little comment:

"Oy, the drama begins. To any business there is no such thing as bad publicity. With links, names, etc. Softpaw's name is widely spread even further.

I am quite curious why it would take 16 grand in preparation for FC. Besides printing of the magazine, art prints, other merchandise, etc. If that was the only case that could just go back into inventory and shipped off to whomever wants it later."

Creating full-sized anthologies in glossy 4-color coated stock that are 80+ pages in perfect binding are not cheap to print. Cost of printing alone is at least $8,000 to $10,000 per issue. Each artist is paid for their work. Each page of a publication like Softpaw Magazine can cost the publisher $50 - $150+ dollars depending on the artist, how much they charge, the quality of the work, and other expenses. Marketing, including website and professional online secure shopping carts are also very expensive.

Oh yeah, by the way.. shipping thousands of copies of a magazine to a point of distribution, import/export taxes, and other governmental fees come into play.

Jery has never made a profit as of yet. Any revenue from the magazine is poured back into the publishing costs of the next issue. Most of his capital comes from generous donations and his own money. It's amazing what Jery does for $16k and in such a short time. That's not even counting any merchandise, supplies for the convention, party favors, catering, and advertising material.

This isn't free marketing. It's discrimination.

I just had a few thoughts about what Jery's going through regarding the recent ban of Softpaw Magazine at Further Confusion 2008. So, I posted them here:

An account of when I had to tell Jery the news.
http://tinyurl.com/2j4qks

The furor that soon followed.
http://tinyurl.com/24p6q4

Someone is currently under heavy scrutiny because they claim to admit to being attracted to minors. They are about to be banned because they were truthful and spoke their mind about the issue.

I know furries on FA who are pedophiles.
I know furries on FA who are zoophiles.
I know furries on FA who are necrophiles.
I know furries on FA who are teleiophiles.
I know furries on FA who are ephebophiles.
I know furries on FA who are coprophiles.
I know furries on FA who are slaves and masters.
I know furries on FA who are bukkaophiles.
I know furries on FA who are into forced sex (raep).
I know furries on FA who are infantophiles.
I know furries on FA who are nepiophiles.
I know furries on FA who are macrophiles.
I know furries on FA who are unbirthophiles.
I know furries on FA who are into incest.
I know furries on FA who are pregnophiles.
I know furries on FA who are homophiles (gay people).

I know furries on FA who are into killing their draconic sex partners by impaling them upon phallic spikes while eating them alive with acid-like phlemwads and pouring mustard gas over piano playing nuns in a fucking bus of girl scouts.

It seems that the only thing this person did wrong is hone up to it and be truthful to their fellow furs.

Cub Art. It's what's for breakfast.

Naw, seriously. What's the big deal?

I was hanging out in the con suite at Califur, munching on Costco munchie goodness, and Steve Martin's sitting next to me, and I tell him I'm with Softpaw, and he says in a satirical tone, "Ahh! ... Y'know, you're ruining the fandom, y'know..." and I'm like "Yep! One issue at a time!"

The problem with those who hate us cublovers' guts is that they see a little of us in themselves, and it tears their mind apart to think that we could be so close to one another. Nah, they don't have to be into cubs, but they're into big boobs with tentacle nipples and warfare sex scenes with blood and gore and all of these wonderful American-Family-Value type shit, and it just aches them to see that someone in the same group is just as depraved (or not?) as they are. So they go "hater" on people. Gotta have an enemy.

There's no way I could defend my actions by saying "Well, it's alright because it's fiction," because in the end, the guy typing this journal post is a real human being with feelings—not some fictional character having these feelings and desires and attractions. The fact that it's a fictional drawing that turns me on only makes the reality softer and more excusable. But that's what this fandom is for, isn't it? It's something to hide behind for protection in order not to feel the full brunt of life smacking us across the face. Living a life of proxy. It's art. It's the Nerf™ Bat of Life.

For those of you who claim that we're "hiding behind the fact that it's fictional cub stuff so we don't have to feel guilty about our attractions," I got news for all y'all. So are you.