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Posted 12 years agoRecently these past few weeks I have been having terrible anxiety attacks in school, and home too. Mostly it leads to making feel extremely ill...I get terrible stomach aches, headaches, weakness, and a feeling of being extremely limp.
Keeping myself in line is a EXTREMELY hard thing to do, even if I can distract myself for a little while with things I enjoy doing- I still end up having horrible thoughts in the back of my head which triggers a lot of my stress, and depression issues.
I have broke down crying about 3-4 times in my classroom without a proper explanation for what I was really upset about.
Though I might seem a little too young to suffer this some may think? No. I honestly know people younger than me can go through horrible stress, and it can be a lot more extreme than my own. Mine to myself is hard enough for me as it is.
I can't imagine suffering anything more worse.
When I'm outside of school, and work I seem to feel a little more better.
I am in a better mood, no pain, or tiredness. School itself is already becoming a pain in my arse--- we still have like 3 Quarters to go through, ugh.
I'm going to try to pull through, hopefully get stuff done at home/school
(trades commissions ect..) I just been overwhelmed by the stress a lot of the students give me, including the god awful due dates for school work.
Keeping myself in line is a EXTREMELY hard thing to do, even if I can distract myself for a little while with things I enjoy doing- I still end up having horrible thoughts in the back of my head which triggers a lot of my stress, and depression issues.
I have broke down crying about 3-4 times in my classroom without a proper explanation for what I was really upset about.
Though I might seem a little too young to suffer this some may think? No. I honestly know people younger than me can go through horrible stress, and it can be a lot more extreme than my own. Mine to myself is hard enough for me as it is.
I can't imagine suffering anything more worse.
When I'm outside of school, and work I seem to feel a little more better.
I am in a better mood, no pain, or tiredness. School itself is already becoming a pain in my arse--- we still have like 3 Quarters to go through, ugh.
I'm going to try to pull through, hopefully get stuff done at home/school
(trades commissions ect..) I just been overwhelmed by the stress a lot of the students give me, including the god awful due dates for school work.
heartburn <_<
Posted 12 years agoSucks.
I just had acid just come up on my throat and burned like ughhh! Now my throat is scratchy, and it hurts.
I'm so upset and kind of insecure about it .___.
I just had acid just come up on my throat and burned like ughhh! Now my throat is scratchy, and it hurts.
I'm so upset and kind of insecure about it .___.
Dressing as a fox for school
Posted 12 years agoYeah tomorrow is crazy orange day so....FOX TIME
School sucks. Kids suck. Everything sucks.
Posted 12 years ago:I I'm so jealous right I cannot even ffffff.
I'm just going to like lay n this corner, and cry myself to sleep like an emo child.
I'm just going to like lay n this corner, and cry myself to sleep like an emo child.
Could Someone Send Me A Full Version Of SAI?
Posted 12 years agoI really would appreciate it! I need to re-download SAI onto this new computer I have ;v;
Fursuit review?
Posted 12 years agoCould someone explain to me why the first fursuit maker review account was shut down?
I found the newer one, and I was wondering why is the old one dead?
I found the newer one, and I was wondering why is the old one dead?
What hurts the most.
Posted 12 years agoI found out I am being used.
Fuck those people.
Fuck those people.
Putting everything on hold
Posted 12 years agoI'm moving into my new room, and I need a month or two to move stuff into it, nad my old room will be my official work space!
Lost interest?
Posted 12 years agoYeah I lost interest in the furry community. I will still go fursuiting for conventions and stuff like, but I wont be doing anymore art/new sonas until further notice.
ACen 2014
Posted 12 years agoJust now planning it with my buddies! *pointless journal*
Gencon is Offical!
Posted 12 years agoI'm going on Saturday! Look for me as Gamzee <3 \ ^3^ /
Doing $5 full body + color & BG Commissions!!!
Posted 12 years agoI'm wanting to get some quick cash for parking, and Passes for
Indianapolis on Saturday for my mom, and I.
Also I am wanting to practice my digital art skills!
I am willing to do any species! [
(NO NSFW)
Please comment below with ref,
and description of what you want!
My Paypal: Cindymessick@ymail.comWell updates I guess?
Posted 12 years agoArt, Art, and more Art.
I'm just going to vent on you guys if that's okay?
Posted 12 years agoI am just falling apart, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm just a stupid teenager who needs to get over themselves, but everything is happening at once, and I have no place to go. No one to turn to.
About everything I complain or whine about just my stressful anger, and shit.
I'm sorry you guys have to put up with me/
Not long ago (few weeks) I lost some friends, and they were my everything.
I cried myself to sleep thinking that I would be alone in this place/ which I am.
I turned to my mom, she said they would come back, but I knew they weren't
going to come. My friend's and their parents want no part of me what so ever.
I told them I was sorry, and it was okay for them not to accept it because my actions were dumb as hell.
A week passes
One of my buddy's massaged me saying that she was on their side.
I began to have an anxiety attack, and I was also paranoid of one of them
beating me up (they were threatening me) I came so close to suicidal thoughts.
I thought about it over, and over. I knew I couldn't do it because I'm a coward when it comes to death.
another few weeks go by.
My other friend (who is pretty close to where I live) Told me she was in a car crash
I began to have those thoughts again. She said she thought she was going to die, and I tried to calm her down the best I could because she was hyperventilating I didn't want her to die from smoke in her lungs.
I'm just so torn.
I'm sorry if I seem to be a sad butt munch.
About everything I complain or whine about just my stressful anger, and shit.
I'm sorry you guys have to put up with me/
Not long ago (few weeks) I lost some friends, and they were my everything.
I cried myself to sleep thinking that I would be alone in this place/ which I am.
I turned to my mom, she said they would come back, but I knew they weren't
going to come. My friend's and their parents want no part of me what so ever.
I told them I was sorry, and it was okay for them not to accept it because my actions were dumb as hell.
A week passes
One of my buddy's massaged me saying that she was on their side.
I began to have an anxiety attack, and I was also paranoid of one of them
beating me up (they were threatening me) I came so close to suicidal thoughts.
I thought about it over, and over. I knew I couldn't do it because I'm a coward when it comes to death.
another few weeks go by.
My other friend (who is pretty close to where I live) Told me she was in a car crash
I began to have those thoughts again. She said she thought she was going to die, and I tried to calm her down the best I could because she was hyperventilating I didn't want her to die from smoke in her lungs.
I'm just so torn.
I'm sorry if I seem to be a sad butt munch.
:| I hate people
Posted 12 years agoI just hate some people who act like they are my friends, but they just use me to get stuff.
Just no it's not right.
Just no it's not right.
Back sort of.
Posted 12 years agoSorry for the longest inactiveness, I have been dealing with dumb teenager shit.
Drama, and stuff like that keeps hitting me hard. I am trying to catch up to all of you, and hopefully get some things done.
Sorry again for the inactiveness/
Drama, and stuff like that keeps hitting me hard. I am trying to catch up to all of you, and hopefully get some things done.
Sorry again for the inactiveness/
Leaving tomorrow morning!
Posted 12 years agoI'm wayyyy to excited for ACEN i'll get to meet up with my D-weasel and hang out with the homestuck groups!
ACEN HEEERREEE I COOMMMEEEEEAdd me on pester chum!
Posted 12 years agomy chum handle: grinningCapricorn
a tip on friendship
Posted 12 years agoif they cause you negative emotions and or drama
GET RID OF THEM
end of story
GET RID OF THEM
end of story
God I'm so pissed
Posted 12 years agoI hate how fucking people don't speak up I swear.
Homestuck? ACEN?
Posted 12 years agoWell in about 3 weeks
I am heading to Chicago to attend the up-coming convention ACEN2013!!
I will be there on the first day (Friday) around 6:00 PM because I am leaving straight from school
The cosplays I am bringing are:
Gamzee (MOSTLY HIM)
Bonesy (sometimes)
zombie (on the last day)
---'
I am super excited for this convention!!
I will be hanging with the Homestuck groups most of the con
just because of reasons XD
I am heading to Chicago to attend the up-coming convention ACEN2013!!
I will be there on the first day (Friday) around 6:00 PM because I am leaving straight from school
The cosplays I am bringing are:
Gamzee (MOSTLY HIM)
Bonesy (sometimes)
zombie (on the last day)
---'
I am super excited for this convention!!
I will be hanging with the Homestuck groups most of the con
just because of reasons XD
Badge commissions $2 ( 3 SLOTS)
Posted 12 years ago1. OPEN
2. OPEN
3. OPEN
2. OPEN
3. OPEN
A break up of friendship. T____T
Posted 12 years agowell my best irl friend and friends broke up our friendships...and now I'm alone
school isn't going so well for most.
I keep getting in private talks with teachers of things I never did.
Today when I came home I couldn't help but to whimper and lock myself in my room thinking where I went wrong.
The answer is...I didn't do anything wrong, they just hate me.
I am now afraid to go to school because I don't have a place there anymore I am surrounded by people who are mad and want to hurt me in some way either verbal or physical
I just don't want to go back.
school isn't going so well for most.
I keep getting in private talks with teachers of things I never did.
Today when I came home I couldn't help but to whimper and lock myself in my room thinking where I went wrong.
The answer is...I didn't do anything wrong, they just hate me.
I am now afraid to go to school because I don't have a place there anymore I am surrounded by people who are mad and want to hurt me in some way either verbal or physical
I just don't want to go back.
Back only for a short while PLUS HUGE UPDATES ON TRADES AND
Posted 12 years agoOkay I know I have been gone for...LONG TIME.
I have a wedding coming up and a convention PLUS ON TOP OF THAT school testings
I got so many updates and apologizes I don't know where to start! D:
Well I guess i'll start with trades!
Okay so I have noticed a lot of people haven't been answering my notes I sent last night but that could possibly be my fault because there was a huge storm that passed here and my power was in and out crazy...
So here is the list of people I noted.
1.
armagare Black fur + 4 badges+ 2 tails+ keychain (noted but possibly didn't go through)
2.
meekah I havn't gotten a message from her yet about the badge D: so I don't know if it went through or not...
3. BINKS WOLF- Noted and got his reply
4.
empirewolf13 Have white paws and made 3 badges waiting on address (hopefully note went through)
5. spirit- answered
AND COMMISSIONS!
- Darkness furusit (done) shipping out after ACEN
ALL TRADES COMMISSIONS ECT WILL BE SHIPPED AFTER THE CONVENTION ON MAY 17-19
but if you wish for it to be sooner please tell me and we could work something out.
TAKING LARGE BADGE COMMISSIONS TO HELP PAY FOR MY CAMERA REPAIRS.
badges $10 large
$5 medium
3$ small
(These will be shipped as soon as they are finished )
EXAMPLE:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7160580/
slots:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
'm only taking ten slots then i'll re open after a while....
MY PAYPAL: cindymessick[at]ymail.com
dontations are appreciated
I have a wedding coming up and a convention PLUS ON TOP OF THAT school testings
I got so many updates and apologizes I don't know where to start! D:
Well I guess i'll start with trades!
Okay so I have noticed a lot of people haven't been answering my notes I sent last night but that could possibly be my fault because there was a huge storm that passed here and my power was in and out crazy...
So here is the list of people I noted.
1.
armagare Black fur + 4 badges+ 2 tails+ keychain (noted but possibly didn't go through)2.
meekah I havn't gotten a message from her yet about the badge D: so I don't know if it went through or not...3. BINKS WOLF- Noted and got his reply
4.
empirewolf13 Have white paws and made 3 badges waiting on address (hopefully note went through)5. spirit- answered
AND COMMISSIONS!
- Darkness furusit (done) shipping out after ACEN
ALL TRADES COMMISSIONS ECT WILL BE SHIPPED AFTER THE CONVENTION ON MAY 17-19
but if you wish for it to be sooner please tell me and we could work something out.
TAKING LARGE BADGE COMMISSIONS TO HELP PAY FOR MY CAMERA REPAIRS.
badges $10 large
$5 medium
3$ small
(These will be shipped as soon as they are finished )
EXAMPLE:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7160580/
slots:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
'm only taking ten slots then i'll re open after a while....
MY PAYPAL: cindymessick[at]ymail.com
dontations are appreciated
FA rules are complete BS
Posted 13 years agoI swear FA is really unfair <.<
you can post AS MANY FURSUIT photos as you like but not pet photos? WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT?
that
is
just
bullshit....
you can post AS MANY FURSUIT photos as you like but not pet photos? WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT?
that
is
just
bullshit....
