Just making this journal to put all my details in one place

My Twitter and Bluesky:
https://x.com/TrickyCrinkles
https://bsky.app/profile/crescentda.....am.bsky.social

My Suggestion Box for ideas and trade/request/suggestion info:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Cy.....ePUeXLOFDp6950
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61748020/

My Trello of my Todo list:
https://trello.com/b/phVRKrpI/to-do-list

Discord:
Will only send this to people who send me a note; this is for chatting, and if you have a lot of ideas you would have to chat about, though if you're going to add me, no small talk, please. I will have barely anything to say because I am bad at it, and most neutral convo topics bore me. only add me on discord if you want to really talk about things or want to talk about a bunch of ideas

So recently I got back into Animal crossing and bought New horizans a few days ago and very excited to start playing. and as such in this mood I feel like writing some animal crossing stories so wanted to ask who are your favorite male villiagers? and what concepts do you like with this idea? let me know!

As the title says I want to do some kind of writing challenge but I haven't found a good one yet, anyone know any good ones or have there own ideas?

Quite an unexpected question maybe but I think I suffer from a very dysregulated nervous system and have for quite a while now which I think is the main reason I don't post much because I don't feel as safe enough to do it. so, I wanted some advice or suggestions on how other people relax who suffer from the same thing and get into a feeling safe and comfortable mindset to create.

Free feel to ignore just want to get some feelings out I have had lately

the first being it has been strangely comforting to learn recently that not finding your place in the ABDL community, you feel you belong in is actually more common of a feeling than I thought and that it wasn't just me and I am not the solo issue of my past experiences and why they always went sour. and the thing is I already knew this, but there is a difference between your brain knowing something and your heart believing it and it took me finding receipts that was the case for me to truly see it now.

and this leads to something else I realized lately I don't think I like or can identify with the term ABDL anymore cause truly I have never felt like an Adult, and don't think I ever truly will for a lot of emotional and medical reasons, and honestly I am cool with that but I see why that has led to a disconnect with the community. as I think since the first time I came here I think I always saw the ABDL community as more of a safe space from adult topics and conversations and the A in it was more a formality more than anything else and I thought mostly everyone in the ABDL was more the less the same in a overly pure and happy type a way, and despite being proven wrong over and over, I think I still held on to that naive belief which honestly I think was my true emotional downfall in a lot of ways since whenever I was ghosted which was a lot I always felt like I was the one who did something wrong and if I was doing ABDL correctly and not saying the right words and wondering what was wrong with me. on top of a lot of other innocent ideas I have had of ABDL that got corrected over and over again and seeing its way more complex than I ever thought, so in a sense I was living in a fairytale for years without even knowing it, which thinking about to someone else I knew a long time ago, I don't think I am the only one who falls into this ideal and the ways were told otherwise are never very good and do not do us well in the long run. which is why I think I am going to consider myself a PKDL, which is a PermaKid Diaper Lover, as I think this matches how I see myself better

And with this truth, it has helped me at least a little out of my mental fog for clarity about myself and helped me remember what I actually care about in terms of ABDL content which has lead to another realization lately that I am not really into general diaper art, I am into Diapers + Romance, diapers by themselves are great but Romance really is my first priority if I want what I am making to hit all my buttons. sadly, this is a rare niche in a niche which sucks, but I have been figuring that out over that and plan to adapt to this which for the most part I have, just need to figure out how to share it here,

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Cy.....PUeXLOFDp6950/

Gonna give this another try and see what I can make from it, give any ideas, they can be literally anything, just not too Dark please!

Just curious about the settings you like seeing diapers in, examples of themes are like
A pirate theme
A Retro theme
A Punk theme


and Locations, I mean like
A Beach
a Hunted house
a Arcade
or even a setting from a game like the Mushroom Kingdom or from something online like the backrooms

I also wouldn't mind knowing what your favorite aesthetic is, as they kinda blend into these two questions, any of these I can try turning into a short story if I also vibe with it

just want to give a quick update on when I learned today that I actually been trying to write Flash Fiction, which are stories around 500 to 1000, and now knowing this is a word this is what my focus will be where I am gonna try to write about 5 around the same time to see what happens and with short stories which are around 1000 to 7500 words I will explore those every now again when I feel a idea calls for it, maybe about 3.

So yeah, you might see some journals in the future when I open up 5 flash fiction slots after creating some example writing and see how well this goes afterwards

So I found this term, and after looking into this meaning, everything clicked into my mind on everything I have done and has happened to me these last few years

"Emotional amnesia refers to the experience of being unable to fully access or feel the emotions associated with past events, even when the memory of the event itself is intact. It's a phenomenon where individuals may remember what happened, but the associated feelings are dulled, absent, or delayed. "

I am fairly certain that I suffer from this, which explains to me why I often forget so much about many emotional things, and why a conversation I enjoyed so much feels hollow and uncomfortable for me later. Why it's hard for me to connect with others and most likely be able to communicate with me, and why even when I'm productive, the stories I create that feel amazing in the moment, feel dull and lifeless to me after some time passes.

I have so many ABDL's on my Discord just collecting dust, and I couldn't understand why this kept happening until now. So if you're someone who stopped talking to me because it felt like I was being distant, I am really sorry. I have no way to tell. emotionally, what I was doing, and starting conversations is almost impossible for me cause I always forget anything I wanted to say later on cause I forget the emotional context of past conversations, but at least I know why, and I am hoping to cure this at some point

Looking for gentle story ideas to inspire me—regression, shipping, diaper stuff, mental regression, Fluff, slice of life scenes, all that good baby mush.
Drop a cozy prompt or a vibe! Even “two guys falling asleep cuddling in crinkly diapers” is perfect.
Help un-mush my creative brain?

I won't make another long post like before, just want to mention I have still been uncovering a lot of different unknown mental disabilities, and with how long I have dealt with them in unhealthy ways, it has pretty much been the reason why being productive has felt like a paralyzing and anxiety-ridden task for me. It's not dealt with 100 percent just yet, but I am figuring things out, with keeping mindfulness and learning what kind of content I like creating, ergo the TOL I created, where I was pretty clear on such things. I think with time being creative will feel natural to me, and I have some plans when that day comes, when I'm better, but I also wanted to ask a question, which would be what is your favorite theme?

by that I mean things like Reality warp, transformation, Hyper. Hypno, etc, trying to form some unique ideas with stuff I don't normally touch.

I've been thinking lately about the stories I want to write, and I've realized I want to write a mix of Romance and Littlespace. To test that out, I remade my other journal this time, incorporating the popular OTP challenge with some edits to suit my taste.

1. Pick a number below. You can pick multiple numbers, each with a different ship
2. Canon x Canon ships and Fankids are my highest priority
3 . OC x OC or Canon x OC are only allowed if they have a bio of some kind
4 . Male x Male Ships and character situations only
5. I have the right to refuse any I desire
6. There has to be a fandom I am familiar with
7. Tell me the Core emotion you want the story to have: (Ex, hurt/comfort)
8. Nothing is guaranteed cause I am still figuring things out, but if you wish, my oc in the story, you have a higher chance of motivating me to write it

9. Note: If you want me to have creative freedom, you can omit any of the above by writing as such

SFW or NSFW:
DL or ABDL:
Clean or Used Diapers:
Secondary fetish (s):
Scenario, Location, and Theme:

01 - Holding hands
02 - Cuddling somewhere
03 - Gaming/watching a movie
04 - On a date
05 - First Kiss
06 - Wearing each other's clothes
07 - Cosplaying
08 - Shopping
09 - Hanging out with friends
10 - Sleepover
11 - Wearing kigurumis
12 - Making out
13 - Eating ice cream
14 - bodyswap
15 - In a different clothing style
16 - During their morning ritual(s)
17 - Spooning
18 - Doing something together
19 - In formal wear
20 - Dancing
21 - Cooking/baking
22 - In battle, side-by-side
23 - Arguing and Making up afterwards
24 - Double date
25 - Gazing into each other's eyes
26 - Getting married
27 - On one of their birthdays
28 - Doing something ridiculous
29 - Doing something sweet
30 - Doing something hot

So this is....kinda a part 2 to my last journal as I have had some realizations lately that I just wanted to write somewhere, so I decided to write it here cause this is what I consider a huge realization and answer to the last few years

So I found out that I am a permaregressor, which, if you don't know what that is, here it is, https://agerearchive.miraheze.org/w.....ermaregression
And the reason I bring this up is that it explained my disconnection from the community.

I always wondered why I never felt included in the ABDL I couldn't understand what made me different from everyone, I always thought we were all the same and to some extent desired the same thing or felt the same things, but now I see the difference was mental state that kept be from making a friend I could feel was a real friend who understood me over the last few years.

And the more I thought, I realized emotionally, I fit it best with the more agere sfw side of the community, but....I'm not sfw, but even then i don't think I would be welcomed as they are very anti ABDL who think any nsfw is evil, and nsfw, kink, and abdl is still a part of me even if it's not a baseline, so I can't fit in either space, I'm stuck in the middle of both.

And I will admit this realization has been freeing to figure out, but it's also annoying as I'm a niche living inside of a niche which will make any kind of connection hard to find, but the upside it also made me realize i was going about learning Art and writing the wrong way, i have been trying to figure it out in the binary way and not in a way that my mind can process infomation along with realizing alot of my habits was hindering me but i think I am seeing a different ways to approch things.

And the reason I am writing this is to make sure I don't forget this and to be able to have a clear way to explain myself to anyone who has talked to me in the past and didn't understand why I am the way I am, so I think this will be my first real step to change for myself.

I'm not sure where else to put this, so I'll put it here, rambling inbound.

For quite a while now, and possibly since the start, I have been trying to draw and write diaper art for two reasons: I generally like it, which is a good reason. and a very bad reason, friendship.

And something I have known for a while now, but I always feel like I break the cycle of feeling like I have to create to be seen, cause I am not the best with social skills, my mind always makes me feel that "if what I am doing doesn't lead to something more than it was a waste of time and pointless." and that has pretty much been 99 percent of my experience in the ABDL community which exist as pretty much nothing but ghosting and not having my interest understood.

its also why I also struggle with knowing what to create as I know there is an sfw ABDL side and Nsfw ABDL side and I like both and make content for both but is under another later of my non-ABDL side feels more important than either, cause I have actual positive experience and relationship that still exist to this day. for ABDL, not really, and any positives turned sour, especially from popular artists that made me huge promises they couldn't keep, and I can't escape them cause they're so popular, or it was so long ago I can barely remember them, being as strongly emotional as I am I don't take the "sorry I have not been talking to you been busy" very well cause that normally turned from weeks, to months to years which tells me I am not a prioity in that person's life if they can't check up on me, like I still remember that period of time when I was drawing a lot and getting a ton of request and I was so happy thinking this would be the time to form a connection with someone finally, but soon the request stopped and nothing came for it and it felt everything I created was a waste of time.

What this all means is that I have lost what an ABDL means to me, feeling isolated from the community I wanted to be a part of for years, transformed my genuine love for ABDL into something that needs a purpose from someone else to exist, and that...isn't good. so I am gonna try to refind myself and I think once I do things will be different and I will be able to find that self-worth to create for myself and that being good enough, I don't know when but I have made great mental stides this year so I am sure its only gonna be a matter of time.

And to anyone who read all this, thank you, I appreciate it.

So, I have decided to try to give this profile more structure.

Starting now, I am going to write stories. Don't expect a lot, as my main limitation still is my laptop, which I have to struggle with all the time to even start writing, due to its poor performance. As such, here's what I am going to do.

For now, I am still going to try to come up with some stories to write to fill out my profile and skills a little bit more, and I am trying to do trades and commissions
Trades so I can get some stuff out there I want to see, I don't have the skills for, but my main focus now will be with Commissions

The way I am going to go about it is once I figure out how to set it up is to use gift cards for the exchange, since I still don't have a credit card, and hopefully will be able to save up enough money for a new laptop or even just an effective cooling unit for the one I have now cause even that would be enough to get me back on track.

This is my current plan, and I also plan to make a follow-up post about this once I figure out the rest of the details going to keep things open ended for both art trades and commissions, but if in the future I start getting Mutiple and returning clients, I will ramp things up as I go.

Another Jornal just for me to keep all these ideas in one place,so I won't forget, ignore if you wish
-Potty Rebels
-Potty Mafia
-Diaper Frat house
-ABDL Backrooms
-Pokemon Daycare
-Magic Teddy bears
-Role reversal
-Circus
-Prison
-DnD
-Basement
-Streaming
-Summer Camp
-Library
-Book
-Castle
-Delivery
-escape room
-Unpotty training
-Sleepover
-Academy
-Werewolf pack
-Diaper Note
-Videogame
-Hangout
-Store
-Hypno
-In public

today is another birthday for me, hooray

I didn't expect "into the dungeon" to be received so well with the favs it got Its makes me glad that interest of mine is pretty well received, it gives me a good feeling doing to continue making that content. although while I do like nsfw messy/wet content there is another part of me that also likes SFW (and nsfw) clean diaper stuff too and its a thing where I want to appeal to both audiences even if I know is more popular then the other this is for me at the end of the day.

Although I will say while I have been slowly figuring out how to write content with messing and mental regression as the climax I am still unsure how create stuff where clean diapers is the main focus of the story and how to make it sound interesting for the whole story, so if your a sfw clean diaper expert and likes that sort of things and want to see it from me, let me know there will be a high chance I will include your suggestions in my next writing piece

this is just a Journal for me feel free to Ignore

Naruto
-Jutsu
-Kekkei genkai / Sharingan
-Chakra natures

Final Fantasy
-Classes
-Magic

Mario and Luigi Series
Paper Mario Series
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Kingdom hearts 1/2/358/Chain of Memories
The World Ends With You
Pokemon/ Mystery Dungeon
Chrono Trigger
Miitopia
Kirby
Legend of Zelda four swords
Sonic
Shantae
Yugioh /Dungeon Dice monsters
Sailor moon Snes game
Earthbound

so I have been thinking how do I get back into writing and drawing diaper stuff and the conclusion I reached is trying to make a brand for myself, I feel if I made a brand, where a certain theme exist in most of my work I will be able to focus my attention on that, which will help me figure out where to build my content from there and concentrate and practice my skills and once I reach a point I am happy with I will expand out of my brand to different stuff.

The only problem is I can't figure out what I want that brand to be as I am struggling to think of what speaks to me currently so I am asking what themes do you like to see with diapers?, examples of what I mean is like Mental regression, reality warping, hypno,Weight gain and so on, and obscure and rarely done concepts is very welcomed and encouraged, here feel free to share what makes you tick the most when you see it combined with diapers it doesn't even need to have AB concepts either, whatever you like I would like to hear it and as many as you can, can even send me pms about it if you wish.

So I have not been too active here lately, or for years if I'm being honest, but recently I finally learned the reason I have been so unmotivated for so long, I have finally found that the reason I wasn't getting any satisfaction from my work is because I am suffering from something called anhedonia, a side effect of depression which means I am unable to feel pleasure or enjoyment in anything I do, which if you have talked to me at any point I think might make sense to you and explain why I might have seemed uninterested in conversations.

The good news about this, is after learning about this and talking to the right people I have been getting it treated, and it has been working I have been more normal now than I have felt in years, and feeling a lot of old feelings, I thought was gone, starting to return slowly but strongly. now I can't say this means I am going to be super active now because I still have some things to work on and sort out, but I think there is a much higher chance now, finally being able to express myself in the ways I always wanted too

---

In other news I also caved today and made a Bluesky account, am I gonna use this?....ehh I don't know but here it is if your curious, I think I have a better chance to use this at this point than Twitter so who knows:

https://bsky.app/profile/crescentda.....am.bsky.social

I have big plans for myself for a lot of self growth in my creative skills this years so, so hoping to be able to show said plans very soon

I have not really been keeping up with what is going on with the website lately but I was wondering if it was safe now or not to create mental regression content again. its kinda a theme I have a interest in working with right now and I just wanted to know.

my feelings on this account has been very up and down lately but I still wanna post content so I want to know what kind of stuff you would like to see, or even if you have ideas I would find if you just like wanted to spam me with them through if you do I would prefer doing that on Discord (or notes if you don't have it.

This will also help me know if people are still interested in possible content from me and if you don't have any ideas a simple comment letting me know your still interested in something would be good too.

I know I have asked this a lot in the past but I am truly hitting a wall and I don't know how to improve, so any advice would help with either ideas for my writing or my art just, need some kind of idea that can help lead me in the right direction.