Humans are the darkness in life that life created and humans created fear of the darkness cause we are scared of ourselves, the only true light in life is death, but we're all sent here to earth with a mission to leave an imprint on this world so be it big or small Everyone Counts ( some people struggle with finding why we're sent here in the first place and struggle finding what their mission is but you can find it all of us have ups and downs in life everyone has problems just remember to take everyone into a count cause everyone has problems)

be mindful of others and understand that we all come to earth to experience the pleasures and displeasures of life

to anyone who reads this l love you and you're meaningful to this world and we need you to fight and live on

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27619862/ and http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27704214

Fen is lucky

l wish l could do that to release the sexual tension l have for having both a vagina and a penis ;-; some ppl don't know the mental strain my brain goes through literally having a male and female brain sucks my hormones throughout my life has been closely monitored by doctors so that l can be normal-ish. l can't wait until my surgery where ill be left with only 1 genital and not 2 and hopefully, this will relax my brain and not over stress it like it is rn

unleash the naughty kinks that l favorite to the public O.o oh nuuuuuuuuuuuu

Warning this is my kink and my perspective l don't have control of the perspective when l dream

Most Dangerous Game ( with a furry twist and no death)

So this is the first time l was in the perspective of the predator hunting furries on my island with my trusty sniper tranq gun to cage them up and train them to be well tamed and obedient servants (normally I'm the one being hunted) So a group my friends came to my island an l gave them each a tranq gun and we all set out hunting little do they know I'm also hunting them too *evilly grins* [but surprisingly this dream was a short one] so a see a bunny fur hopping a cross bush to bush it goes as l set my eye to a good prize and see a nice hunky tiger fur. l line up my crosshairs and take the shot but right when l saw the dart landed on the tigers hind quarters l felt a thud on my shoulder l brush my shoulder but it got stopped by something l yell "fuck" as l turn around to see who shot me but as l turn everything became fuzzy my body numb it feels like I'm either hyperventilating or not breathing at all l feel my shorts and underwear come off in my head l say to myself "oh fuck" feeling something inserting inside me bearly able to moan or talk or even fight back or stuggle. l lay there not knowing who shot and fucked me cause as they cum their hefty load inside me l wake up from the dream. >////> wet.......... and horny

thanks to my psychiatrist my new anxiety meds have been working very well and l feel like I'm back to my normal self-granted>///> I'm kinda debating if it's a good thing Nympho saber kitty go and pussy rub all over Wheeeeeeee =^.^= also been more socially active its great but >////> l have to re-tame my Nympho monster again

Anxiety Sucks
Depression Feels Horrible
And I'm a freak of nature

~3:30am~

~Past~
l know in the past l was a butt and a attention whore granted l was young and new to the fandom and l feel everyone has a phase when they first enter the fandom. l know l was smart, stupid, manipulative, a massive butt/tease and two faced to some if not most of my friends.

I'M SORRY with all my heart l do apologize to the friends l hurt.

~Now~
l have changed and grown up l know l'm only 22 but l've matured a lot. l've moved out of my parents house living the responsibility of adult or at least trying with my mental issues. social anxiety sucks and been having to use close BFF's to be my social crutch and it's really difficult for me to leave my apt ;-; its like my safety bubble, but l know l need to overcome this fear, this social anxiety monster and actually move on in life and do what l must do in life........ meet new people give them great idea's and let my ideas spread cause l know l'm not a talented artist or super duper smart like some of the furs but l know my blood line. Now granted my grammar sucks but l know l can write\speak some great stories. cause if anything, l can do something most people can't do....and that is.....having control over very vivid and colorful dreams and being able to see the seed of creation and nurture it in the path of happiness & sorrow cause you can't have the light without darkness.

l know ill be trying my hardest to be more social at local events and conventions (cons have been getting less fun for me each year) but l will need help from my friends and l'm willing to help build back the bridges l burn in the past.

l know some people have this feeling when they were growing up but ill say it too " l've always felt older\ more mature than my age."

~Future~
l do plan on going back to school for psychology (plan on being some type of therapist)which l know is somewhat ironic with my already existing mental problems but l've always been intrigue by the nature of how one thinks and there is more things that we don't know that the brain is capable of.

~4:55am~

when ever l make new friends it always starts out great, but the more we hang out the more wobbly apparently ppl only like me because at first lm really shy and kind but ppl take advantage of that and step all over me but l get sick and tired of that so l start acting more of a butt to them. then they get upset at me for trying to maintain a friendship with them but they back away cause instead of being submissive and allow them to step all over me l get assertive and deny then to step all over me so then they back away and it becomes a more distant friendship until it just goes away TT.TT l'm sorry to my new friends but its been several years and lm tired of being taken advantage of and being teased and toyed around l'm blunt and straight to the point

TL;DR : in the psychology terms im a giver and have made new friends that are the inbetweens or takers and its starting to bug me how much is taken from me and l get nothing in return besides a heartbroken friendship and a new enemy. . . . . . TT.TT

<3 Thank you to all my friends that are still with me and has been with me for a long time <3

just did a update to my page and l'm coming out of the shadows yay <3 * butt wiggles and floops under the sun * katnap time =^.^=