For those who have read my journals, i finnaly got a laptop, im typeing on it right now. im very happy to have it even if it has a few kinks. ill find a way to FINNALY post my art. Thank you all for reading

First the stuff with my girlfriend, then the bad grade, no job, and everyone hitting on me, now my sister, the only person around my area who I call real family, could be haveing to move away... In the course of 2 years, I feel like I've been fucked, pardon my language, with something long and sandy... If I loose my only family near me, I'm done, everything else gets taken away from me, why should I expect to get something, anything in the future? ... God life needs to see I'm strong, but dammit I have my limits....

first off, no sugar coating this, me and my mate broke up, please no 'I'm sorry that happened', I personaly don't want to give or recieve that for a woman who lies for attention when she has it, spends a year with me but dosent know me at all, and certenly not for someone who make a friend who's 2 years younger than her jump my crap for it.

Now that's out of the way, I've got a new character, female. Also, cross vattic is now cross 'chaos' faowind, and I need some help from you all who are reading this. First order of buisness, I need art ideas and I need to start selling art. Unfortunetly, no money equals no bank, no bank means? Yep, no paypal. Any suggestions is appreciated. Secondly, I'm a sword collector (I will eventually post what I have) but I want a custom made sword, color of the blade and all. This will be saved for when I get money. Also, if there us anyone in the redding or Sacramento area, and you can help me get a job, please note me, I have tried everything.

Thanks everyone, y'all know I love you guys for being there, my furry brothers and sisters

There's a place called paradise, somewhere down the broken road of men, women, hearts, and everything that ever lived. I walk down this path knowing my fate is to eventually fall like every person. In my mind I walk with nothing but my guns, my sword, and all the compainions that dare to walk beside me as demons chase me, begging me to give in. I feel like I'm fighting an army with a toothpick; the depression, the distance between me and people who love me, day to day stress, and more. Something may be wrong with me, I might be stupid or brave, maybe I'm really that strong, or I could just be cocky. I'll go headfirst into hell over and over again to get one step closer out of this hell. Some days I want to drop, others I wish someone would start a fight with me, and even I feel like giveing life to a complete stranger... I face devils of greed, sloth, wrath, and others every day. I'm going to walk though this path, a sword in my hand and guns on my back, and I'll get beat to a bloody pulp, I'll face my inner demon, I'll probably seemingly die a few times but I'll do it all with a smile on my face, bloody teeth and all. If I'm not a soldier for takeing the abuse of life, then what am I? What are you? Remember everyone, walk your path, not someone elses... Especialy my path, I tend to walk into brick walls on purpose :/

im wanting to start a commision thing, but i have no bank account, and no paypall... i 18 so i should be able to get all this, but alas, i have no job either! so yeah... anyone in sacramento who has a steady paying job opening, im willing to take anything i can if im qualified, and ill need help getting everthing set up. those who read, thanks and ill be around when i can

chao!

sorry i havent been on at all, ive been busy with school, moving, ect ect... anyways, heres a few issues:

dmc cosplay was a bust. the online thing said it came with the jacket and such, basicly all but the boots, and they lied to us. ive got the vest, the pants, and some fake ass gloves... looks like im going shopping...

art is going sideways, need some new ideas, been doing some nude pics and i need to post everything when i get my own computer

this one i need some advice on. i love drawing, i love art in all forms, but i also love to cook. im getting close to college fast, and need to decide between cullinary arts or graphic designs/special effects. all advice on both classes and occupations is appreciated

and thats about it for now, peace

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Cross (not my real name yet, but who cares?)
- Eye Colour: changeing, mainly a gray green though
- Hair Style/Colour: red, curly, a fucked up mess in the morning
- Height: last i checked, i was 6 feet
- Clothing style: sometimes gothic or as some people call it, emo. ill wear whatever i please and make it look good
- Best physical feature: usualy my hands, everyone says they are soft(along with all my skin), warm, and comforting

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: heights, planes, being yelled at (thanks to my fucked up stepdad...)
- Your guilty pleasure: cupcakes.... and porn, im jokeing... lets see, id say causeing myself pain from boredom, like punching a wall (no i dont cut, im not emo)
- Your biggest pet peeve: im a bit of a perfectionist, i also have to say accents right if i know someone sounds off. lastly, when girls think they love me, but they really dont, always for looks or voice or some shit... fuckem
- Your ambitions for the future: Open a restaraunt, make videogames/movies, i have so much to chose from really...

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: "damn... morning..."
- What you think about most: my mate, and how to get outta this hell called home
- What you think about before bed: i have usualy 3 songs in my head playing, one love, a jumper song, and a rock song, then i also usualy am thinking how rotten the next day may be
- You think your best quality is: my way of speaking, it seems too easy to talk in and out of pretty much anything

LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: single, group dates almost always end bad...
- To be loved or respected: both, no doubt, but if only one, id say respect. its good to be loved, but if theres no respect behind it, love isnt real
- Beauty or brains: brains, beauty holds no meaning if all the brains are located in the sex organs
- Dogs or cats: i like dogs and cats, dogs moreso cause then you arnt expected to me "master"

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: lieing is too easy for me, so i stopped...
- Believe in yourself: -laughs nervously- thats easy, beliveing others... hehe...
- Believe in love: yes, true love though
- Want someone: of course

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: yeah, i preformed in several plays, 2 were live, and i got stage fright so many times before hand...
- Done drugs: .... pot.... once, but thats all!
- Changed who you were to fit in: no, fuck that. im here, im me, dont like it, screw you

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favourite colour: purple for clothes, greys for drawings, red for anything
- Favourite animal: anything, period
- Favourite movie: Hangover, or Miazaki's spirited away
- Favourite game: uuuugggghhhh... tooooo many fucking games... id say either Final Fantasy 7, or Fable the Lost Chapters

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday will be: July 7 2011
- How old will you be: 18
- Age you lost your virginity: im still a virgin, will loose it eventually
- Does age matter: thats true, age is just a number

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: as long as they dont get pissy for no reason at me, im fine
- Best eye colour: no prefrence
- Best hair colour: read last answer
- Best thing to do with a partner: My partner? kiss and snuggle, other people, crack jokes and hang with

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: only one
- I feel: dead, but nobody can change that but me, so im alive and dead
- I hide: all my real feelings
- I miss: my love
- I wish: all the retards in the earth would be locked in a camp somewhere...

OKAY!! i have found, the insperation... i was on  firefly8083's stream-a-ma-jig thing (awesome art btw, if you havent already, please go watch her) and her friends and husband gave me insperational insight, along with a few good ideas. im going to start posting alot of sketches and scraps, and i need your help! thats right, you, behind the computer screen. no, not that guy with an axe behind you, you! i need your help with a ton of sketch ideas; this means male and females. the goal of this mass amount of sketches you ask? easy! i need practice to (1) understand the human anatomy better, (2) to get proportions down, and (3) be able to produce a sick peice of art, in the good way. sketch ideas for male and female figure poses will be in a diffrent journal soon

ALSO!! im going to start a short comic thing, staring... CHIBI MON, this little chibified, bald man without arms but hands still floating, LOVES TO DIE. this guy will be drawn over and over again in every odd death method i, and peers, can think of. this includes stuff like: chokeing on air, trip from crack over cliff, sliced by falling letters, and so on. i will need help with this too, so gimme ideas if you got em!

to watch my progress, go to my front page, leave a comment, flame me, do whatever, but click that little thing above my info that says watch+ id love to hear critiques and such when i make the sketches

---

ps. my mind is in a natural high when im extreamly hyper, or overly tired. i havent slept more than 2 days in the past 7, and im up at near midnight posting this. sorry for any grammer, punctuation, or spelling errors.

twit will be normal (cross will be like this)


1. What is your character's name?
Twit (cross cloud vattic)

2. What is your character's name in another language?
estupido (malach ha-mavis)

3. How old is he/she?
21 (11 universal cycles, almost 12)

4. What is your character's race/species?
tiger anthro (looks like an arctic fox, but is really a genetic experiment. now dubbed death)

5. Do they have a crush?
twit, yes, he has one on an rp friend (hes married)

6. Do they have many friends?
some, people like him (not much, people think hes weird)

7. What planet is your character from?
earth (earth)

8. Does your character like to eat?
anything really (crawfish)

9. What's his/her favorite food?
pizza (shellfish of any kind)

10. What's his/her favorite drink?
soda (wine)

11. Is your character annoying?
sometimes, when he wants to be alone (no, just creepy when hes mad)

13. Is your character loved?
no (by one, in real life and rp)

14. Is your character hated?
not at all (nope)

15. Is he/she emo/goth?
no (no)

16. Is he/she straight, bisexual, or gay?
bi, leaning more to women (straight)

17. Is he/she a virgin?
yes (nope, not sence the first week of rp)

18. Name 3 hobbies
working on his mechanic arm, enginering, reading (reading, looking around, and haveing fun with his mate)

19. Is your character normal?
not in any way (kinda, but thats just so people dont fear him)

20. Is your character attractive?
a little, not much "eh, i dont think i am" shut up twit (yes, and he gets mobbed sometimes)

21. How does your character handle emotions?
he can hide them and blank out (he really doesnt feel emotions unless they are drastic, like love)

22. Does your character have other forms?
nope (yes, a shadow form)

23. Does your character overreact?
over coffee, sugar, and candy (sometimes, but not offteen)

24. Is your character a criminal?
no (in a way, yes, hes being hunted by assassins every day)

25. Does your character go to school?
nope (no)

26. What's his/her IQ?
its high enough to solve major equations (yooooou dont wanna know....)

27. Does your character have a disease/curse?
no, just his left arm is fake (he is cursed with darkness)

28. Is your character dead?
no (he is death)

29. Does your character have a family?
his family died in a car accident (killed by assassins)

30. Has he/she encountered any tragic times in life?
lost his arm and family (the day his family was killed in front of his eyes)

31. What's the best time in your character's life?
nothing yet (he met hope)

32. If you could name 1 friend, which would you relate to your character?
:shardofconfusion: (umm... me)

33. Is your character single?
yes (nope)

34. Has he/she developed any relationships?
not yet (yes yes yes, for the last time, YES!!)

35. Does she/he have an element?
wind, hes a free spirit (all seven. earth, air, water, fire, light, dark, and spirit)

36. Do you role-play your character?
yes (yes)

37. Do you write about your character?
not offten (yes, a little here and there)

38. Does your character have a bad temper at times?
no, not offten (alot of the times, yes)

39. Does your character get depressed?
sometimes (sometimes)

40. What's your characters favorite animal?
any feline (he doesnt care)

41. Does your character have any fears?
nothing major, just flying on airplanes (darkness takeing him over)

42. Does your character have any weaknesses?
loss of his arm again (seeing his love in pain)

43. Does your character look up to anyone?
cross vattic (his true father death)

44. Does your character like music?
yep (hes a DJ)

45. What's your character's favorite type of music?
techno (no fav)

46. Is he/she impatient?
sometimes (not really)

47. What's something funny about your character?
he likes to get other people hyper (he gets drunk and starts the real party)

48. Name 5 nicknames
twit wit, purple, hit high, high hitter, sniper, who the fuck? (cross, cloud, mister vattic, death, fallen one)

49. Does your character curse?
sometimes (sometimes yes)

50. This test is over, what does your character have to say?
"peace out, sleep well" ("have fun knowing more about me, cause ill come take it away later")

stole from  aurathewolf

Centaur:
[x] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[] You get drunk a lot.
[x] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[x] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[x] You are spiritual.
[] The horse is your favorite animal.
[] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 5

Elf:
[x] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips. (u gotta look for it!)
[x] You are very intelligent.
[x] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[x] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[x] You look young for your age.
[x] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future. (not i, i wanna controll time)
Total: 7

Fairy:
[] You are happy a lot of the time. (i act...)
[] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[x] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[] You are young and short.
[] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 4

Gnome/Dwarf:
[x] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolationist. (only at times)
[] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[x] You are extremely fascinated with jewelery.
[] You look older than your age.
[x] You love the woods and the mountains.
[x] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off. (i am classed off in my family...)
[] You have a short temper.
Total: 5

Harpy/Siren:
[] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[x] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[] You often take things that aren't yours.
[] You are easily angered.
[x] Death fascinates you.
[] You are female, or a feminine-looking man. (no, but i let off too many pheramones)
[x] You associate yourself with the wind element. (all elements)
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[] You love to trick others.
[]x You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 4

Mermaid:
[x] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[x] You are good at swimming.
[] You like to collect shells.
[] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps, you will work to stop that.
[] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 3

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[x] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale. (i used to look hispanic truthfully)
[] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[x] You are not religious at all. (they all just want money and followers... bah)
[x] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often. (especialy when im playing a game)
[] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips. (only in bed)
[] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 7

Werewolf:
[x] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[] You have a lot of body hair.
[] The ability to shapeshift is the best superpower to you.
[] You prefer gold over silver items.
[] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[] You like to be alone.
[x] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[x] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 5

Wizard/Witch:
[x] You love chemistry.
[x] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're psychic. (some ppl dont realize its real sometimes)
[x] The most amazing supernatural power to you is controlling the elements. (i know i said time, but thats the best, this is most amazing)
[x] You are a nature lover.
[x] You have a strong sense of responsibility.
[x] You spend a lot of time alone.
[x] You usually hang around with a certain animal all the time when you feel lonely.
[x] You are spiritual, but not necessarily religious.
[x] Cooking is one of your favorite things to do.
[x] You enjoy learning about Wicca and the occult.
Total: 10 (holy crud lol)

Zombie:
[x] You are pale.
[x] You are hungry a lot.
[x] Many activities you do every day make you feel mindless, or like a drone.
[x] Most of the time you or a part of you is cold. (usualy my stomach, but warmer to others...)
[x] You love to eat meat.
[] You would resort to cannibalism if that was the only source of food.
[] You make grunts and moans a lot.
[] You usually walk slow.
[x] You are not afraid of seeing a lot of blood or getting a lot of blood on yourself. (can someone start a blood bath for me please?)
[] You have bad hygiene.
Total: 6

Satyr/Faun:
[x] You are very passionate about the things you like.
[] You like to get drunk and dance.
[] You're very amorous.
[x] You like art and music.
[x] You enjoy feasting with friends.
[x] You love nature but more for the animals then the trees and plants.
[x] You like getting rowdy and having a good time.
[x] You laugh a lot.
[x] You love the chase almost as much as the capture.
[] You wish you had horns. (i hav fangs)
Total: 7