*Waves* Well, it's been a while FA. Thought I would pop in and say hi to all of you :). Lots of things have been going on, last I posted our cat had kittens. Well all but one of them died, it survived, mom kept trying to kill it but we got it to survive. Husband wrecked our car, found one, it caught fire, found a truck, moved in with that lady for what was supposed to be a couple weeks, turned into 6 months because this woman turned out to be crazy and liked to play mind games. We lost the place we had been staying in, which also had all our stuff in it. :/
She got double pneumonia and other issues and passed away January. we were forced out ina week, managed to get a motel room where we were staying until last Wednesday. We found a rent-to-own trailer in a small park that we're living in/working on. Landlord is ok, just super cheap on food. He gets it at a discount and then brings it to us, we sort through it to find what is still good, so it's not so bad, we use whatever he brings us pretty fast.

Hoping things get sorted and I can soon get a new graphics tablet and stuff. Maybe September for my birthday. I'll try to check back more often :).

~Panda

Hiya guys! Sorry I've not been too active :( Things have been sorta crazy. Dealing with life junk, phobias, looking for another house, missing home. I end up spending all my time either on games to ignore real life or on Deviantart.

In other news my cat apparently was pregnant. We just thought she was getting fat due to liking her new food. Well for about 4 hours yesterday she was annoying the fark out of me. She would run around from the bathroom to the kitchen and all over me, make me pet her, all the time meowing. Around 11:30pm I went to the bathroom to see what her deal was with the bathroom. She calmed down and then began having babies...IN MY DRYER!
I'm going back and forth from WEEE! to WAT!? and also FML.

FML and the WAT because 1. We had no idea she was pregnant. We've been saving up to have her spayed since we got her. 2. We have never let her outside. We assumed the fatness was from eating too much, which she was doing but didn't know it was due to babies. 3. Our landlord is a jerkwad and will more than likely hit the roof over this since he made us take her sister to the pound after we had had both of them since they were babies. We have never let her out of the house so we were amazed. The only thing I can figure is one of the weekends the landlord came to fix the house after a tree fell on it, he let her out when we have specifically told him NOT to let her out and trained her and taught her not to go out.

Looks like two Orange and three black. Can't tell exactly.

Hnnnng I swear I don't mean to abandon FA. I get distracted easily. I was into Star Trek but then Beej kinda killed that when he blasted past me in levels while I was spending time with my sister on a game she wanted to play. Then we were into EQ2. Lately been distracted with Terraria and now Minecraft. My sister bought a copy and then gifted me one.

Things have been stressful and I have come to notice I am developing certain tendencies. Like, OCD and whatnot. That's great. Insomnia and OCD.

The other day both cats got outside and I guess fought because mine was weak and acting as if she was gonna die. They didn't want to be near each other. She seems all better now.

Today we had a huge scare because we were in the negatives in the bank. Turns out a scam took out $40 but is returning half, the bank messed up typing in the amounts when they updated their systems and we got hit with an nsf fee. We got that back. When I noticed the amount I suddenly went nausious and Beej had me go to bed. He was up til 2pm trying to get in touch with the bank. Finally did and got the NSF Fee returned so he has gas for work. So in all instead of losing a full $85 we get $65 back. Still sucks about the other 20 but since it had been a month and that was a requirement for whatever the scam was, we don't get it back.

I have been trying for a week now to forward my ports and stuff so people can connect to me through Minecraft and failing. Took 4 hours today trying to ask my ISP and stuff. Still didn't work. Anyway...

Um...not sure what else to post.

I'm alive. I've just been busy with Star Trek Online since it went F2P. I'm a Vulcan with purple hair, AND a Blue shirt. :D I made the blue shirt like Next Generation shirts (Black shoulders and blue bottom) since I can't get the original ST shirt yet). If you play and wanna add me I'm Trypp@zhangjoie. Beej is my only friend ;A;

I'm usually in Darknest chat channel. I've seen people talking about having Tribbles in their inventory and they multiplied. I WANT ONE!. :D


Also been playing MapleStory with my sister.

Christmas: We have been having Christmas for the last couple weeks lol. I got The Walking Dead Season 1, Purple Hookah, Some Nexon Cash, Watch. I can't remember it all.

Weee.

HAII. *slaps* Excuse me, I dunno what came over me. So anyway, I hope everyone had a wonderful whatever Holiday you celebrated. Mine and  camerindrake's Christmas ended up being him at work and mine here at home. So we had Christmas dinner yesterday. We got a baked Zitti and made Pizza rolls. They ended up looking like Pizza Wads after I got all the stuff in them and wrapped them up. It was all good though ^^.

Dad sent me $100 for Christmas so I got a panda hat, we had Chinese, I spent $10 on DCU Online and $10 on Maple Story. I have um....$40 left. :) Dunno what to use it on so still thinking. We didn't get to really get each other anything because money went to rent so landlord was happy.

Beej says hopefully next week we can do Christmas gifts.

Ok, I'm alive. Guess I should update everyone and whatnot.


*We didn't lose power after all. We ended up getting emergency help from DSS on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

*Thanksgiving I was stuck at home while Beej was at work. I was gonna fix a Shepherd's Pie for dinner since we had a whole refrigerator full of Thanksgiving stuff from a dinner we went to. Beej got dinner on the way home.

*Things were going pretty good. We got to playing DC Universe Online, found a guild with some people from a forum we visit. That's pretty fun.

*Guy from Beej's work passed away suddenly so then he got called in Friday. So on the way, 15 minutes from work the back tire blows out. He gets a ride to walmart with the busted tire, calls my mom who sends us the money to get it fixed. They fix it and then the guy takes him back to his car. This whole time he's supposed to have been at work. Tells his boss what is going on and he's ok with it. Just says get it fixed and get there as soon as he can. Then at 4pm is told "It's cool, go home, Tim's got everything." His schedule is now Friday-Sunday.

*Throughout this time I have been congested and sick. Probably Pneumonia.

*Friday I spent most of the day cleaning the kitchen because it's been kinda neglected since I've been sick.

*Saturday I woke up and our kitchen drain was leaking into the cabinet. When the landlord put the drain in he just slid it into itself so when the water gets to be too much or the pipe hangs too low it runs into the cabinet. Luckily he put some linoleum in there shaped just right to hold the water when it does. Four towels, two bedsheets, a bucket and my pair of socks later I got it all up.

*Today Beej came in and says someone abandoned some kittens on the lot where he works. He's gonna try to catch them tomorrow and bring them home. Which means four kitties instead of two.


*Hoping to get back to soap eventually. I think I've depressed myself and talked myself out of it by trying to figure out insurance prices and things like that.

Feeling pretty down lately. We didn't get a chance to pay the electric bill because of stuff going on. I don't know who's more responsible for us ending up in this mess.

We had the money but the landlord pressured BJ into paying him rent that week. So he gave him $20. That meant after gas for the week and paying the $20 we didn't have enough money for the electric bill. Then the bank started taking out NSF fees for not having enough in there for the electric bill. We had it planned out to pay it last week. Last week came up and after getting a little bit of food to try to hold us until this Saturday, getting me soap stuff and himself some art pens from Micheal's all with coupons, we had enough to pay the electric bill. Well the landlord came up pressuring Beej again and he gave in.

Tuesday we're looking at possibly losing our electric unless by some magic thing happens and we somehow manage to get the money. They sent us to Department of Social Services to get help. They said that sence the weather isn't dire that they would need stuff from a doctor saying I do have to take antidepressants and medications for high blood pressure or they couldn't help. We went to the ER where they diagnosed these things and we were informed they couldn't do it. Tried several other places I have seen doctors and then was told to try the food pantry we go to every three months. Beej went today and they said it wasn't a good time to ask.

I didn't ask for the stuff, but yes I wanted the soap stuff. I feel guilty and like it's all my fault that we're in this mess.

Sorry I've not been active. I've been having a very emotional time lately. My landlord is getting on my last nerve. I'd rather not blow up on people for things they haven't done. We have been here since April and have done our best to make rent payments. He has been nice and let us stay here for even the smallest amount but lately he has gotten on my nerves so bad I am crabby twenty-four seven for several days. His girlfriend/boss told us to just be honest with him and everything would be fine. Well we have been. Beej has been job hunting, I've been working on making soaps to try to sell and we pay what we can. For about three or four months now our electric bill has been nearly $300, all the windows but one in the living room let bugs and air in and out so sometimes it did very little good to run the a/c. When we did run the A/C it ran as hard as it could given it's an old model. (Not sure how old, I do know our ice maker was installed in 1989. We don't use it)

He kept hounding and hounding for rent money and Beej kept telling him what was going on but would still give him a little bit. When Beej told him how much the electric bills have been, he looks at him like he's making this all up and is saying we're waiting too late and paying late fees because it's never been that high. Finally he comes to replace the one window that was the worst and doesn't even seal it right then finds out there's a water leak, checks it out and it's the hot water heater. It had gone so bad that when he and his assistant from work took it out, the thing was crumbling away when you just pressed on it.

Then he decides last weekend to replace the window a/c unit for a new Heat/Air combo. So he didn't show up Friday like he said, instead he and his assistant show up Saturday morning, take out the unit, the window it was in, the whole frame and other window because it was all rotted, He ended up buying the wrong windows first because his deal is to buy the thing and THEN take measurements. The whole time all I could hear my landlord say was "I hate buying and replacing all this stuff because I'm losing millions!" His assistant kept sending him off to run errands and leave us alone because apparently he gets on his nerves too. Then they ran the wiring for the new stove, put it in and he tried to act as if I'm stupid and tell me how to work the new heat/air unit and not to be stepping all over the remote and throwing it in the floor and he would appreciate it if I took better care of the new stove because the old one was really greasy when I had just finished scrubbing the whole thing.

Monday afternoon he comes over to talk to Beej and was asking if he knew how to use the heat/air unit and if he liked it. When he said he knew how and that he just had to get used to it because it was a little cooler heating than he was used to with gas heat and landlord suddenly flips a shit going on about how the gas was expensive and we still owe him for that and rent and that he's been very generous about fixing everything even though we haven't been able to pay him like we're supposed to. I tried so hard not to go out there and tell him how it's his responsibility to make sure this stuff was fixed before we moved in and how we had to get rid of the roaches that were here when we moved in. Also how he took all of BJ's gas money two weeks ago and then it all cut into our electric bill money this month, how we had to make a choice to either pay him or get food to last until the 17th-19th.

So Friday morning rolls around, he wakes us early in the morning wanting rent money and wanting to know how much we can give him and when we can give it. So we give him $100, he looks right at BJ and he asks "Is this all?"

Man really burns me up. I haven't been able to really concentrate on drawing lately because I get so ticked from small mistakes.

Where have I been? Without internet...sadly.

Lots has gone on in said month. Landlord has actually replaced one broken window, then found out we had a water leak and he replaced the hot water heater so hopefully now our electric bill will actually go down below $250. We adopted two kittens! From the same litter but, they are Black one with brown splatches and one that has dominant siamese traits. She's pretty. Their names are Bastet and Vanilla.

Had my birthday Sept 26th. Got some stuff for our Hookahs, a new purse, and like...5 coloring books to keep me occupied. Hubby bought me a soap making kit so I'm hoping to get it down pat to the point I can start making and selling soap :) I've been looking up lots of things to make. Hubby is also trying to get a new job. He's been having issues with the one he has. Played a lot of Super NES emulator :).

Missed you guys!

Well Irene came through my area starting Friday. It was just super windy and rainy for the most part then. But the people between us and the coast (we're 35 mins from the coast) all evacuated and got hit hard. Our power went out and we didn't get it back until today. We waited it out here in our trailer we're renting. Saturday it was the worst and given that all the windows were already leaking we just opened them so that it wasn't too hot. Sunday I spent the day at the hospital while BJ was at work so that way I'd be somewhere with power and could actually sleep. So I slept there in the waiting room until her got off. We nearly hit several trees on his way to work.

As far as the power problem I don't think anyone but us reported it. We were worried our neighbors would be bad off, most of them are elderly and need oxygen and things. The line snapped when the pole spilt in half and then wrapped around the pole and landed in our yard. They kept calling us saying they were pushing back fixing it. I reported it as line down and they moved it up and then moved it back again. So last night BJ reported it as line down, broken pole and they came out and fixed it today. Our neighbors were too busy playing on their four wheelers.

We even had to give the electric company directions to our house. So most of the food we had in the fridge spoiled. We had a roll of hamburger in our freezer. It swelled up bigger than my head. It smelled so bad and our freezer smells, we've scrubbed but I guess gonna have to get baking soda to help absorb the smell.

Our yard was a mess but we got most of it done. Landlord is a piece of work. He came over Friday saying he was getting the house hurricane ready. All he did was ask for rent money and then leave. Then Tuesday he came over talking about he's overwhelmed because he has to clean up his girlfriend/boss' yard and his yard and we had to clean ours. We understood that. He then started talking about we had to do other things because they're in our lease. Yet we have never seen a lease or signed one. He said he had just been doing us favors. I dunno what his deal is.

Most couples have conversations throughout the day about things and whatnot, even when they're laying in bed together at night. Mostly about your day/plans for the next day/etc. This is a typical convo with me and BJ:

BJ: "Comic book comic book superhero superhero, cartoon tv show movie."

Me: *sigh* I love you

BJ: "Comic book comic book I love you too comic book comic book movie movie movie OMG MOVIE!"

Me: *sigh*

BJ: "Comic book movie? Movie movie movie, comic."

It even pours over into the next day.

Night when we have, as Hank Hill puts it..."Relations"
BJ: "Comic book comic book superhero superhero, cartoon tv show movie."

Me: *sigh* I love you

BJ: "Comic book comic book I love you too comic book comic book movie movie movie OMG MOVIE!"

Me: *sigh*

BJ: "Comic book movie? Movie movie movie, comic."

Me: *sigh* I have boobs.

BJ: " Comic book movie, I like them! comic book."

*Relations happens*

(NOT EVEN 2 SECONDS AFTER) BJ: "Comic book comic book comic book comic book movie movie movie OMG MOVIE!"

It's been a while and I've just not been much in the mood for things.

Good things: Since my run in at the beach, I've lost weight and things are trying to straighten themselves out.

Everything else has been absolutely horrible and I just can't contain it anymore and have to let it out. So to those maybe 2 of you who read these, thank you.

Our bank account keeps going in the negatives, which then takes a huge chunk of BJ's money when he gets paid. Then bills come out and then some magical unexpected crap gets pulled from his account and we end up in the hole again. The landlord is even being a jerk because we haven't been steady with rent.

We've talked about moving to KY to be close to my family since his family has cast us aside. It was going fine until just now. A few weeks ago my mom loaded up all she could into her van, left out and got to KY at 3am the next day. She's staying with her dad. I refuse to call him my grandfather because of actions he's done in the past. She wants me to move there with her. She asked him to get me a phone card since I was low on minutes. He did. I then had to call him and talk to him.

No-one can make you feel worse about yourself than your own family.

To give you more insight: My grandparents were married until I was about 7. My grandmother divorced him because he's such a douche and was tired of his abuse and they just couldn't settle things. He even made the comment about shooting himself in front of me. She had an awesome lawyer who made house calls and he was furious he wouldn't take his side and took hers. She filed the papers and put everything in motion. He was enraged and butt-hurt that he proceeded to put her through hell. His first step was to go to a doctor, make comments about wanting to kill himself where he was then sent to a mental institution for a while and then written up that he was mentally incompetent. He then got off the hook for several things he had to go to court for. He molested some little girls and got off. He broke into her house and stole her underwear, two tv's, a china cabinet, her jewelry box and a few other things I forget. Dad replaced the window with plexiglass and then next time we left there was a nice footprint left.

He molested a few more little girls and got away with it. He also then busted all the windows in my grandmother's car, poured sugar in her gas tank and did a lot more damage. He then proceeded with prank calls, stalking and other things. He even showed up to my grandma's funeral as if he expected money.

My sister went to visit because my mom wanted her to. The whole time she was there they ran their mouths about our dad and different things. Mom talked him into buying me a phone card and then told me to call him. I did. He proceeded to bring up my PCOS, which I am VERY touchy about, tell me to come back there and they would take care of me and that BJ needed to move there and get a job at the prison and get some good insurance, and if nothing else to "leave that sucker and come on up here."

So my sister came down to visit for a week. Things went crazy that Tuesday night and we had to pick her up. The rest of the week went off great, she got her chopsticks, we went shopping, did whatever she wanted. Monday when we headed over to Atlantic Beach, had lunch then went to the beach. We had fun for about three hours in the water, ended up getting rolled several times but was still fun, the water tasted so horrible, the waves kept knocking us over. All was fine until we were walking back up the beach towards the car and I just fell over backwards, passing out. My sister ran and got the lifeguards and then BJ came back from chasing a beach ball. They were all flipping out that it was heatstroke. Turned out my blood sugar had went down to about 60something and then they made me eat this tube of lemon flavored glucose stuff, when they checked it at the hospital it was in the 30's. I had to have an IV with two of those drippy bag things. I haven't felt good since. Had to take Britney and put her on the bus this morning. She's almost in Georgia where she'll have a 2 hour layover in Atlanta and then will be on her way back up through Tennessee to get to KY.

So Monday night my sister got on a greyhound at 9pm to come down to New Bern. She was supposed to arrive at 6:56pm Tuesday. This is the same route I took exactly a year ago to get down here. So she does well from Paducah, KY to Nashville, TN and then to Knoxville, TN. We were texting the whole time she was on her buses. So she's in Knoxville around 6am. Her bus leaves to go to Asheville, NC at 6:10, she's in line behind about 15 other people and they're told the bus is full they can't get on. It then took them 4 hours to get a bus just for them because it broke down on the way and they had to get another. She makes it to Raleigh around 3:40 pm which is 10 minutes after her bus left. She found out about two or three hours later that the next bus wouldn't leave to get to New Bern until 5:30am then delayed to 6:30am and then delayed once more to 8:00am. BJ and I got in the car and drove the two to three hours to Raleigh, got her and drove the two to three hours back. We got back about 2am this morning. She's here but I'm now worried about her trip home next week. They took her payment but refused to mail her tickets to go back stating we have to pick them up when we drop her off to go home. So Greyhound is not on our good list right now.

We didn't really tell anyone she was coming down so today Mom didn't know Britney was here until about 3:00pm even though I was posting about it on Facebook. I took a pic of her and I can't remember if I posted it on facebook or sent it to her but she was like "Is Britney there!?" and BJ had me text back "Nah it's Photoshop." Referring to a picture my sister did where she Photoshopped herself into a picture of Egyptian pyramids and mom freaked out asking if she was really there and how she got there. She said she was confused so she called dad's and his girlfriend said Britney wasn't there and then she texted back "Where is my brat!?" I said "Right here on my futon." she asked if dad and his girlfriend knew she was here.

I'm really debating on leaving FA and dA. I don't know what exactly to do. I just feel like nobody really cares to see any of the stuff I do and submit. I don't do porn, I don't feel like I can even draw that well in the first place. Then when I submit something I get criticism or views and that's about it.

Give me tips on what to do, how to get likes, etc.

So yesterday was uber stressful. Spent three hours at Wal Mart trying to figure out how to pay for glasses since they wouldn't do a payment plan. Still ended up with my dad having to pay for them over the phone. Then the ones I have now refused to glue back together so now I'm having to hold them together with tin-foil. I hope my new ones come in soon. That's not the worst part of everything. I just wish that for once stuff would go right. It always seems that we never have money for the stuff we need. Never have money for food. Have to sell everything just to get any money for gas and now we're gonna have to get BJ a new car battery because he's stuck at Wal Mart after it died. I don't like asking for money, I can't get a job and even if I did ask for money nobody would give it to me.

So sorry I haven't posted in a while. I was gonna work on art and upload things but things just kinda took another turn.

Two days before they came to install our internet BJ's pc died. We got our Wii out of pawn but then had to put it right back in. We borrowed a tower from our landlord and it is slow as snot so I can't really install and work on anything.

EDIT: Ok scratch that, I just checked the mail and it's here! :D Dad sent my laptop cord to the wrong address with the wrong last name. It's now somewhere in the US in a post office.

BJ had to take me to the hospital one night because I was having chest and shoulder pain. The did EKG, X-ray, several other things and I found out it's not my heart, it's in great shape, It's my breast. It has a painful lump that is making my whole left side hurt and I can't afford to go to a doctor for it.

We're having problems with money and food. The last few days we had 0 food and 0 gas. We budgeted everything so that today we could have a little money for food and still pay half the rent, have the $80 that BJ has to have for gas to and from work for the next two weeks, the electric bill, and to cover the negative amount in the bank account. Well we had the electric, half the gas, $20 worth of food come out PLUS Verizon took out $114 and then there was another $45 that came out and we're not sure why. So now we have $50 and rent is $285 and has not been paid this month.

We got food from a food pantry and bought a few things we would need that they didn't give us.