i've fallen in love with this guy, and he has alot of issues that he thought he had to hide from me...
otherwise i wouldnt love him anymore. he proposed to me! i was so happy :) life couldnt be be better!
but i never knew that he was hiding his problems and tru self from me :(
we broke up. and i told him after that id love him no matter wat :) i told him how i rlly felt, how things were.
we stopped talking for a few hours becuz we didnt kno wat else to say and we were both crying our eyes out! :'(
we started talking after everyone else went off fb to go to bed, and said to eachother how much we loved eachother.
the truth was, he loved me MORE... and i knew that now. he let me go becuz he believed he was a heartless person,
and that he was gonna hurt me even more if he didnt stop now. i cried some more and finnaly fully understood how he felt.
we're gonna talk next time hes at his moms, so we can hav some privacy and figure out this complicated situation,
becuz we both wanna be together, but neither of us wanting us getting hurt...
THE END SO FAR
why must my life get complicated? this is only one thing outta a million, but it seems like it may hav a happy ending, and so i put it in a journal leave a comment if u hav a question i guess!

pool today and then goin to a village to see my bf tomaro lol he lives in a village... xD so i wont be on here untill later tomaro anyways... like 8 or 9 probly

no one ever talks to me at all or gives a shit, so bye.

i need something to do today... its gonna be hot,
but i wanted to walk to carlys house....
but its 5 miles away about. It takes about 2 hours
walkin as fast as we can without running... sooo
anyone got any fun idea we could do today? i hav
no ideas today cuz i been waiting to go to mass....
only 6 more days! anyways thx for reading.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3554818/

they need help... if u could repost this or do anything else then please do. thx :)

I need some music :) i like any kind from any time, so comment on ur like top 5 songs/bands/singers. its rlly just to giv me something to do unless u want me to randomly post it for u :P but im not that good rlly and cant sing metal xD to bad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9kCoByF1iM&feature=relmfu

i kno i messed up a few times... like at least 5 or 6 but its still kinda good maybe? well either way leave a comment saying wat u think, if i should keep singing, and wat i can do to make it better and stuff like that :) thx!!!

srry guys

Don't be shy and have fun ^^

1) Would you have sex with me if you could?

2) Have you Thought about it before?

3) Where would we do it?

4) Top or Bottom?

5) How many times?

6) Position(s)?

7) rough or soft?

8) Lots of foreplay? or get right to it?

9) more than one person? or have me all to yourself?

10) what do you think it would be like if you could?

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3411355/

thats the link for the journal. this person needs to earn some money... if u dont hav any money then at least post a journal? so others can maybe help? plz just do something at least. </3 poor baby

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life


They fit the situation... <3 <3 <3 <3

- Name: jocelyn
- Single or taken: taken
- Sex: female
- Birthday: november 25
- Sign: sagitarius
- Hair color: Dark Brown
- Eye color: Dark Brown
- Height: 5' 1"
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: straight as far as i kno

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: Too many. Not going to sit and count. </3
- Of Cd's I own: i own NONE
- Of scars on my body: uhh at least 5...
- Of bones I've broken: 4 dif bones... but 5 spots broken

- Understanding?: yeah with everyone... but it doesnt meen that i agree even if i understand
- Open-minded?: veryyy :)
- Arrogant?: I think its only about a few cretain things
- Insecure?: yeh...
- Random?: allways!!! xD
- Hungry?: nopeee i hav a cough drop
- Smart?: Always
- Moody?: Sometimes
- Organized?: for me, yes, to other ppl it looks like a mess. but i kno where everything is
- Shy?: yes, very. unless i've known and forced myself to talk to u alot
- Difficult?: I try not to be, but probly am xD
- Bored easily?: yes!!!!
- Entertained easily?: yeah :)
- Obsessed?: Could be
- Lazy?: yeah, but who isnt?
- Angry?: very very rarely...
- Happy?: now yeah!!! :)
- Hyper?: When with friends, I can be
- Trusting?: i trust ppl so easily, but so far it has allways been a mistake.

well, they say that the first cut is the deepest. i heard that song today, for the first time... and i just cried. 2 tears streamed down my face. when i got home, from 10:30 to now i listened to that song over and over. The most i can say is im srry. Im so srry. Hes never gonna see this, but i have to say it. I need a final goodbye. i need to do it right... No matter where i am now, something reminds me of u. something has to.... and every time it hurts. no matter how often, the pain never lessens. But u kno wat? i WILL move on. :) im gonna be fine, and one day i will look back and smile at all the memories. one last thing... the one promise that i WILL keep to u is that i will NEVER forget u. </3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XpVyMwxluo (how i am feeling i guess)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3HAVoeuOsU (Our song, and something i used to believe was tru.)

"i miss everything about u, i cant believe that i still miss u, after all that we hav been thru" there ya go hun... but i will keep the only promise that i hav left. :( this is the last goodbye... i HAVE to move on now... and so i will try :)

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

HAVE YOU...

[X] smoked
[X] consumed alcohol
[X] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[X] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[X] kissed someone of the same sex (haha my mom?)
[X] had sex
[X] had someone in your room other than family
[X] watched porn (once....it's gross... never ever... and it was on accident. i blame omegle)
[ ] bought porn
[X] tried drugs (weed once and like smoking...)

TOTAL SO FAR: 9

[X] taken painkillers
[X] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[X] lied to your parents (who hasnt?")
[X] lied to a friend
[X] snuck out of the house
[X] done something illegal
[X] felt hurt
[X] hurt someone
[] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die

TOTAL SO FAR: 17

[X] missed curfew
[] stayed out all night
[X] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[X] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[X] dyed your hair
[X] been in an accident (haha biking accident!xD)
[X] been to a club
[X] been to a bar

TOTAL SO FAR: 24

[] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[X] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[ ] sniffed anything
[X] wore black nail polish
[X] wore arm bands
[X] wore t-shirts with band names
[X] listened to rap
[X] owned a 50 Cent CD

TOTAL SO FAR: 30

[X] dressed gothic (for a whole year)
[X] dressed girly
[X] dressed punk
[ ] dressed grunge
[X] stole something
[] been too drunk to remember anything
[X] blacked out
[X] fainted
[X] had a crush on a neighbour

TOTAL SO FAR: 37

[X] had a crush on a friend
[X] been to a concert
[X] dry-humped someone; been dry humped
[X] been called a slut
[X] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in a car
[X] broken a mirror
[] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[X] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush (accidentally used my sisters once and moms)

TOTAL SO FAR: 44 (oh noooo)

[ ] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper
[X] seen an R-rated movie
[X] cruised the mall
[X] skipped school
[] had surgery
[X] had an injury
[X] gone to court (with/for mom)
[] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[X] caught something on fire
[X] lied about your age (ofc... who hasnt?)

TOTAL SO FAR: 51

[] owned/rented an apartment/house
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence
[ ] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[X] got in trouble with the police
[X] hugged a stranger
[] kissed a stranger
[X] rode in the car with a stranger ( we had to get my sister home... she had glass stuck in her foot)
[X] been harassed
[X] been verbally harassed

TOTAL SO FAR: 56

[X] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[X] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[X] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[X] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[X] been to a fair
[X] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[X] prank-called someone
[X] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[X] cheated on a test (everyone has!)
TOTAL: 65!

I should be in jail apparently. but ohkkkk whateverrrr :) (sarcasm) IF thats my destiny than so be it!

Chapter 1


“Rossette, when are we going back home? I’m tired, and my feet hurt from walking.” My younger sister Abby was leaning on my arm. Her little feet weren’t accustomed to walking long distances. She’s only 5 years old, and I’ve been bringing her with me wherever I go, because it’s too dangerous to leave her alone at our home anymore. Our home is not exactly what you’re picturing. We live in the back of where an alley used to be. I used the bricks to make something that resembles walls, and put a few scattered blankets that I found on the ground on the top of the bricks as a roof. I also put four large umbrellas on top of the blankets as a roof.
“Abby, we’ll walk back home after we find something to eat. I know you’re tired though, so why don’t you ride on my back for the rest of the way?” my feet ached too, but it would be faster with Abby on my back, and we had to get something to eat and be home before dark. She looked at me and her eyes started to droop. I bent down, and she jumped up onto my back. She wasn’t heavy, maybe about thirty-five pounds.
When she was comfortable on my back with her head on my shoulder, I walked on. I knew that I had to remember where we were so that we could get back home, so I paid a lot of attention to our surroundings. I noticed every detail, such as where the fallen cherry tree was in relation to the fallen down house on the right and the broken fence pieces surrounding the whole demolished place. These little things were vital to us getting home safely.
A few minutes of walking passed, and I heard Abby snoring lightly in my ear, and felt the rhythmic beating of her heart. It was very calming, and somehow it helped me to focus more. I still didn’t see anything edible however. I looked all around me and still couldn’t see anything that Abby and I could take home for today’s dinner and for food tomorrow.
I walked on for about twenty more minutes before I saw something. Off in the distance, to the left of a giant fallen down oak tree were five apples! There wasn’t just that, there was a bag of trail mix too! I was so surprised at our luck that I started to walk toward it without thinking. Why would there be food out in the open? If I could see it from this distance, then surely someone from around this area would have seen it already.
After a few minutes of debating, I decided that it was worth the risk. I walked cautiously and silently forward, and concentrated all my energy on the bag of apples. I watched them rise slowly off of the ground and make their way in our general direction. I moved them low and slowly toward me, in case this was actually a trap or setup.
Before I knew it the apples were directly in front of me. I then dropped the apples and looked back to where the trail mix lay. I slowly picked up this bag and brought it over in the same manner.
I took the bag down from one of my shoulders, being careful not to wake Abby. I put the two bags of food into the bag.
I made binoculars with my hands and looked toward the sun. It wasn’t too low, and I decided that I had at least ten minutes of walking before I had to turn around and go home. I was grateful for the food that I just found, but I wanted to find at least one more thing to put in the bag. We had a long way to walk tomorrow, and I didn’t want to be walking on an empty stomach.
I turned right, away from where I saw the apples, and walked in that direction. I would have to remember that I turned here, but other than that it was easy to find our way back home.
I walked for the ten minutes, and found nothing, but the moment that I turned around, I saw a movement. Someone or something was following me! I took out my knife and walked to the bush which was where I saw the movement. I held my breath and hoped that I wouldn’t have to kill someone. I’ve never actually done that before, I always found a way to distract them and then run. But I couldn’t run now. I had Abby on my back, so it would be impossible for me to outrun anything.
I peered around the bush with the knife held up defensively and saw to my amazement that it was a squirrel. I didn’t waste any time killing this animal. Meat was a very rare find, and I took it graciously. Once the squirrel stopped bleeding as heavily I took the bag off of my shoulder. I didn’t want to get the smell of blood on the bag, because it was made of cloth, so I dumped the apples out of the plastic bag that they were in. I stuffed the squirrel in the plastic bag and wrapped it up tightly before placing it into the cloth sac bag which I put onto my shoulder again.
I wasted 5 precious minutes with this, and so I rushed to get home. I walked to where I found the apples and trail mix, and turned left. I then continued until I got to the fallen down cherry tree, and the demolished house. I went straight from there, and arrived home without any problems. The timing was a bit too close for me. The stars were just starting to shine when I got back home.
I gently laid Abby down on the soft blankets that were on top of the tarp. After sitting down and taking out an apple and cutting it in half, I woke Abby. She is used to waking up quickly, so she was wide awake right away. I handed her half the apple and a bottle of water. We each ate our apple half, and drank some water from each of our water bottles. I then took out a small handful of trail mix, and Abby and I also split that. We finished our water, and I could tell that Abby was full now. This was one of the few times that we have had full stomachs, it felt great.
I packed our food up in the bag again, and took out the squirrel so I could skin it before I went to sleep. I told Abby, “go back to sleep hun, I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” She nodded her head slightly, and dozed off again. She needed a good night’s sleep if we were going to cover the distance that I had planned for tomorrow.
I took the squirrel and my knife outside and started to skin it. When that was done I gutted it out and made a fire so that I could cook it and we could eat it while we walk tomorrow. All this didn’t take more than an hour, and the cooking part only took about 15 minutes. I stomped out the fire quickly, because having it going at night wasn’t a good idea, I was just hoping that no one would see it I the bricks.
I wrapped the squirrel meat back up in the bag, and walked into the house. I then stuffed everything into the navy blue knapsack that I had and went to sleep next to Abbey after taking a blanket and covering us both up.

ok so its jocelyns friend carly wrting this, i couldnt write it on my own FA becuz my neigbor is followng me -_- but anyways, we just lost the last of our innocence last nite :D, my friend jades mom smokes weed and jade snuck some awsy for me, joce, nikki and her and omg i could not stop lafin, joce as totally nemotionalo to the situation and jade got sleepy and tryed to think of a meat called salomy xD xD it wss sooo fucking halarious i just wanna do it onneeee more time :D:D

cupids12345
[1/12/2012 4:35:14 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: If id come to you would you let me make out with Carly?:D
[1/12/2012 4:35:25 PM] cupids12345: nope i wouldnt
[1/12/2012 4:35:28 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Aww:(
[1/12/2012 4:35:30 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Why?:(
[1/12/2012 4:35:45 PM] cupids12345: cuz i would get jeaplous
[1/12/2012 4:35:49 PM] cupids12345: jealous*
[1/12/2012 4:35:59 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Please?
[1/12/2012 4:36:01 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Once:(
[1/12/2012 4:36:52 PM] cupids12345: no...thats like me asking u if i could makeout with jonatan
[1/12/2012 4:37:07 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Grrr..
[1/12/2012 4:37:08 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Fine:(
[1/12/2012 4:37:26 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Give her one kiss then?
[1/12/2012 4:37:42 PM] cupids12345: grrrr then i get to kiss jonatan
[1/12/2012 4:37:48 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Bleh..
[1/12/2012 4:37:51 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: Fine you win:(
[1/12/2012 4:37:54 PM] Jakob Öhrnell: wont kiss her

(he never asked me that again. but i remember how he could manipulate me to do almost anything. i hated to see him sad, especially if i was the cause, so i did all i could to stop him from being depressed. It didint work to well i guess, cuz he was sad and depressed almost every day, and i was allways trying to get him happy again.Eventually that made me sad, so i would cry for how messed up things were starting to get. Also i will never forget the night when me and carly and erin sat in my room and cried pretty much all night becuz of jakob. :'( and one Q, why the hell cant i look at our messages without getting sad and emotional?

Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your eyes
And when they open, the sun will rise

Here it’s safe, and here it’s warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet–
–and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it’s morning, they’ll wash away

Here it’s safe, and here it’s warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet–
– and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.

Here is the place where I love you.


Im trying to learn this in honor of Rue... <3 may she rest in piece in that meadow...
this was by far the saddest movie i hav ever seen, and saddest part of a bk ever too, but also one of the best i have ever seen or read. <3

i dont kno wat i hav, but i found this site, and apparetly there are a ton of 14 and 15 year olds (usually around that age when it started, or just still that age) and we all hav pretty much the same symptoms... im wondering wat it is now, just wanted to write it somewhere.. and one last thing, I hate BEING SICK, and NOT knowing wat im sick with... :(

an ex of mine whom everyone hates was messaging me.... being his usually douche self. :) and u kno wat? he deserved me to yell at him back! and here is the conversation.... i laughed the whole time!!! xD and something else... we were talking about a fake pearl necklace that he gave me that was his mom's that he gave me and wanted back :)

Chad: so do uk when ur gonna b able to do tht (bring necklace back)

Me: emmm well... devon broke it...and then he threw it away...

Chad: ur fucking kiding m

Me: no.....

Chad: im done fuckin talkin to u peaceMe: ohk whatever byers, and srry

Chad: fuk u u r

Me: whatever

Chad: u claim to have been srry for everything and ik ur fukin not

Me: U dont kno anything bout my fucking feelings ohk?

Chad: if u felt bad none of this shit woulda happend so uk wht im done fukin talkin to u for good ive had enough of ur lies and ur bullshit

Me: ohk fine then stop talking to me! just leave me the hell alone!

Chad: i loved u and this is how u treated me have fun on ur own u dnt fukin know wht love is

Me: i kno i dont
and i havent treated u bad... its just bad luck that devon ruined the necklace
well nvm i broke up with u and dont want to talk to u much... but thats all i hav done that can be wrong

Chad: ur so full of shit

Me: sure... and ur not?

Chad: wtf do u mean im full of shit i hvnt fukin lied to u at all

Me: sure... cuz u never even loved me either... ur just good at manipulating ppl, every one of my friends and devon saw that. I said they were wrong... untill i figured out that they were right.

Chad: so kiss my ass u bitch stay the fuck out of my life and leave me the fuck alone im so fed up wit u and all of ur bullshit and fuck u i am srry tht u never had anyone care bout u and most of ur family are drunks udk wtf love is so fuck u and its not my fault either ur sis is a slut who likes ur step brother
ur family is so fucked up dude im dnt need u

After this he deleted pr blocked me or something... and for one thing, u NEVER insult my family, only I AM allowed to do that. HE crossed a line there. HE can insult ME all he wants, but once he brings up MY FAMILY and critizises them is when he crosses a line and actually pisses me off. EVERY family has issues, and EVERY person does to, so he can just fuck off. thats rlly all i got to say here :) audios. <3 the world, just not some of the ppl in it.

Chapter 1


I was walking along an endless looking dirt road surrounded on each side with monstrous oak trees, and pine trees that seem to touch the sky. I always felt free when I was walking with Audrey (my best friend,) Tracey (whom I wish was my sister,) Ben (the guy I have had a crush on since sixth grade,) and Andrew (Tracy’s boyfriend who is actually a really nice guy).
We are all in tenth grade, and staying in a boarding school somewhere in the U.S.A. None of us can remember being anywhere else. We’ve never seen the ocean, or The Man of the Mountain, or anything else besides these mountains, lakes and fields.
Sometimes we walk in silence, other times we talk about everything that happened and why we can’t believe it. Today we were silent. I was thinking why we don’t know where we are, like I do whenever we walk in silence. We know where Albert Einstein lived, and where all the presidents have lived, but not where we live. If someone asked us to point to our location on a map of the U.S.A., we wouldn’t be able too. There are so many questions and no one willing to answer them.
Sometimes we talk about why we don’t know where we are, or why the teachers won’t answer us, or who our parents were. We don’t have any recollection of our parents. When we get out of this school we all agreed to go on a road trip together and find our family, if we have any. Audrey has fantasies about a Martha Stewart type mother. The question I’d ask her if I was a cold hearted person would be, “If your mom was similar to Martha Stewart she wouldn’t have sent you to this place. Even if she did, she would send you letters or call you, and you aren’t getting any mail, or texts, or calls from her. She doesn’t sound like Martha Stewart to me.”
After at least ten minutes of silent walking Ben looked over at me and I saw a mischievous smile playing on his perfect lips. I was just about to ask what he was thinking about when he asked, “Did you lose something, maybe from your left pocket?” He kept looking down on me mischievously. He’s 5 feet 9 inches of perfection. He has long, dirty blonde hair, deep blue eyes, full lips, and sun kissed skin.
We locked gazes, and I answered playfully, “yeah, my dorm room key. Would you happen to have it, by any chance?” We do this all the time, steal each other’s things, and then ask the other to see if they know what the other took. We’re the best thieves this school has ever seen.
He looked at me with a playful look on his face and said, “Now, why would I have your dorm key? What could I use it for?” he gave me a look that said I had to figure out what he was going to use my key for. He started to laugh, because I can never figure it out.
I started guessing. My first guess was, of course, wrong. So was my second, but you know what they say, third time’s the charm. I said, “So you have an excuse to walk me to my dorm.” He looked at me, loving the game.
His answer was, “Wrong again Alexia.” He started to laugh like the evil scientists in cartoons, which got me laughing too.
Less than a minute later, Tracey, Andrew, and Audrey turned to us, Tracey said, “If you guys are going to keep flirting with each other can you do it somewhere else?”
Ben was the first to get his laughing under control and say, “We were not flirting! We’re just friends. We were only joking with each other. Why do you always assume that we’re flirting? We weren’t, right Alexia?”
He looked at me, and I knew what he wanted me to say. But they were right, we were flirting with each other, but I didn’t want to admit to it either, so I said, “Nope, we were definitely not flirting with each other.” I’m not a very convincing liar, and they know it. I couldn’t look any of them in the eye, and when I finished talking I started to smile a little. I felt like I was about to laugh, so I looked back at the school, wiped the smile off my face, and turned back around. They all rolled their eyes at us.
According to Audrey, it didn’t matter if we started dating. Audrey and Tracy both know I like him, and they’ve been telling me that I need to make the first move because Ben’s a little shy. I told them I couldn’t, I’m shy too. But they just shook their heads at me. They know everything about me, like how I want him to do something really different, or bring me somewhere to ask me out. I’m stubborn when it comes to that; I want it to be special.
We started walking in silence again, when Andrew said that we had less than five minutes to get back unless we wanted to miss dinner. None of us did, so we started walking to the cafeteria. Ben said that he had to go and get something from his room. He said it to everyone, but he looked at me with that mischievous smile again.
I started wondering what he was going to do. It has to have something to do with my dorm room key. I was so busy thinking that I didn’t here Andrew when he was asking me what the hell this was. I looked up because I heard the dinner bell, and that was when I saw everyone staring at the huge message on the cafeteria window. It was addressed to me! Everyone looked from the note to me, which said,
Dear Alexia,
Meet me in five minutes after the time indicated on... in your room. Meet me by ‘The Cow’, you know where. Come alone, or you’ll never figure out who wrote you this message. You will know who wrote it when you read the following. Exploding grape soda in a cemetery of scarlet ducks.
That last sentence confirmed what I already knew; Ben had something important to tell me. Who else would know ‘The Cow’ and our secret sentence? Audrey, Andrew, Tracy and I just stood there, shocked. I figured I had about a minute before I was bombarded with questions from everybody. I decided to duck out and run to my dorm room as fast as I could. I still had some food in my mini fridge for dinner if I was hungry later.
By the time I was in my dorm room I was breathing hard, and my heartbeat was erratic. It was mostly from the shock of the note. I knew where to meet him, but I didn’t know when. I walked over to my bed and collapsed onto it. I heard the spring’s creek under my weight, and then I heard the crinkle of paper under my pillow.

I knew it was the time I was supposed to meet Ben, so I lifted up the pillow. I saw my dorm key wasn’t there, but the note was. I read the one word on the paper. It said, “Now.” So I looked at the clock and decided to leave because I’d already been here for a couple of minutes. I took my purse and a soda with me. I was anxious and hoping that the caffeine would help.
As I walked toward our favorite place near the river, which we called “The Cow,” I felt like I was being followed. I turned around, expecting to see someone following me. There was no one there. I guess I’m just nervous about seeing Ben. I had butterflies in my stomach, and they were making me want to turn around. I told myself there’s no reason to be nervous or scared because I’ve known Ben forever. Why am I so nervous?
I kept walking until I was at “The Cow.” I looked around, but didn’t see anyone. But I felt like I was being watched again. My palms were sweating, and that’s when I heard his voice. Ben was right behind me asking what was wrong. I blew a sigh of relief and answered, “Nothing.” I turned around and smiled and said, “So, What’s up? What’s the big, important thing you wanted to tell me?” I gave an easy understanding smile because he looked a little nervous too.
That was when he said, “You gave me a note saying to meet you here and that is was really important. You used our secret sentence.” I looked at him, my mouth hanging open. That was when I started to laugh. He started laughing with me. When we stopped laughing, we looked at each other and said, “Tracy and Andrew” We said it at the exact same time which got us laughing again.
When I managed to stop laughing, I sat down in the grass, so did Ben. We both knew why they set us up; they wanted us to go out. They knew we liked each other, and they decided that if neither of us were going to make the first move, than they would. I’m happy they did it; it makes it a lot easier. We sat in silence for a few minutes.
I was the one who broke the silence by saying, “so, is it, um, a yes?” I locked eyes with him, waiting for an answer. But like usual, Ben surprised me.
His answer was, “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to ask me that?” I shook my head no. “Since sixth grade, I was starting to think you’d never ask me out. But now you did. It’s a yes.” He reached for my hand, and I gave it to him. There was no hesitation.
That was when I remembered that he still had my dorm room key. “Can I have my key back now?” I asked with a huge smile. He gave me another mischievous smile, shook his head, and said, “I still need the key, just because we’re dating doesn’t mean I don’t still plan to use it. And you still haven’t guessed what I’m using it for.”
I started guessing, but I was always wrong. I knew Ben, so if I guessed for the rest of my life, I’d never be right. We sat there for about half an hour, then Ben got up and said we had to get back to our dorms because it was getting dark.
I sighed and got up too. This time, I put my hand out, and he took it. He looked over at me and said, “I’m going to walk you to your dorm.” When he looked down at me he noticed I was shivering, and gave me his sweater. My first thought was that he’d get cold. My second was how nice this was.
“Thanks. So, um, do you want to come in, Tracy and Audrey won’t mind. And I have some soda in my mini fridge if you want some.” He nodded his head and gave me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on anybody’s face; the kind that male models have on when they’re walking the runway.
When we reached the campus, I saw Tracy and Andrew walking together back to our dorm. I asked, “I’m going to run over there and catch them before they get to the dorm, do you want to come?” I looked up at Ben, waiting for an answer.
He said, “I’ll meet you in your dorm, don’t worry I won’t lock you out.” He said the last part with a laugh. I smiled, ran over to them, and when I was in ear shot I yelled their names.
They both turned around and said hi. There wasn’t even the smallest hint of surprise on their faces. Audrey asked, “Did you meet the secret admirer from that note? We’ve been trying to guess who it could be, that phrase was really random.” I just looked at them puzzled; they were the ones who put that note there. Andrew saw the confusion written on my face, and asked, “What’s wrong?”
I told them that I would tell them everything when we get to my room. They agreed, and we started down the hall to my room, on the first floor. I don’t have to walk up or down any stairs; Andrew’s and Ben’s room is on the fourth floor in the guys’ dorm, all the way across campus. They have the worst dorm room out of everyone.
When we arrived at the plain white door, I reached out and turned the old silver knob. It was unlocked, like Ben said it would be. I was relieved because it would be really embarrassing to have to bang on my own door, and then have a guy answer.
The second we stepped in the room, Ben jumped out and yelled, “Boo!” We all screamed. I knew he was in there, but Andrew and Audrey didn’t. We stopped screaming abruptly when we saw who it was. Then we were all bent over in laughter, but we managed to get into the room and close the door.
This could have gone on for a long time if Audrey wasn’t there to remind me that I had something to explain to them. So I told them how that was me and Ben’s phrase that meant something was really important, and how Ben had the same note in his room. So that meant that neither of us set it up. I went on to tell them how we came to the conclusion that they were setting us up. They looked at each other, then Audrey said, “Me and Tracy didn’t know about the note. We thought you had a secret admirer. So if none of us set you up, then who did?”