Let's face it, the end of a transformative year is fast approaching for me. Before I know it, I'll be 21 and it'll be 2018. So far, it's been a crazy time for me, but I'm glad to be seeing it end on a happy and generally peaceful note.

I've uploaded the last few completed commissions I got over this year to my page. This will likely be the last pieces of art to use the current design of Curus Keel, as I am currently in the process of redesigning the character. Given that my tastes and interests are more solidified, and that I've had an enforced break from getting commissions, I felt it was something worthy of my time.

Origin

This redesign of my character will source from my fantasy tabletop RPG project. I've co-created said project and been working on since late 2013/early 2014, so this project actually predates my fursona and my entry into the community. However, at the time, the furry community entry was still experimental, and it took time for me to actually commit and grow into becoming a true part of it. Because of this, I didn't think to use the dragons from the project, instead of going towards something more inspired by D&D and ultimately more "generic". It was serviceable, but this made the character's look heavily dependent on the artist.

Since I've been looking for a more draconic redesign of my character, I've contacted the project's co-creator and lead artist to help with creating a design of my character that matches the game's dragon. It's still a work in progress right now, but I will upload it when it is finished.

Character Changes

Firstly, the name of the character is now Cirus Kel - Draconic for "Hopeful One". This name is pronounced "SYR-us Kel", with "Kel" rhyming with "Hell". The older name, "Curus Keel", will stick around as an alternative dialect spelling, but I will be transitioning to the new name when the reference is finished.

Secondly, Cirus will be an always feral character, as opposed to the mainly anthro design of the older Curus. I prefer the feral form factor for dragons anyway. While I did consider getting a bipedal ref for possible fursuiting use, the artist informed me that the design is fursuit-compatible, so I don't think I'll need a dedicated reference for that.

Thirdly, there's a lot of changes to Cirus's features. The earfins won't be there, but they will be replaced with membranous fins elsewhere and elaborate horn crests. Cirus will also adopt some more Eastern-ish features, namely the addition of whiskers.

My character will still be the blue stormdragon that he always was. His general color scheme will remain same or at least similar to what the current design has. Overall, seeing updated progress on Cirus has really renewed major interest in the character himself.

What's Next?

After the reference, I have plans to do an inflatable toy reference based on the new version of the character, and will likely also have an update to alt form  toymancer-curus to match. From then on, my priority would be to set plans in motion for getting a fursuit of my character. If I could do it in time for 2019 cons, that would be awesome.

Commission-wise, the ones I will get will focus less on "special interests"/fetishes and more on realizing fantasy/sci-fi scenarios with my characters. That, and I'll also do commissions inspired by music, something that I should really do more of. I'll still be willing to split with those interest, and there are still artists that I might want to nab commissions from (Leiryu, I'm looking at you). Of course, commissions are only one form of discretionary spending, so I'll try and be more discerning when it comes to these matters.

I'll also bring more development to the other characters I have, and I'll be working on the game projects I love best. It should all be exciting.

One Last Note - Soul's Breath

In my tabletop RPG's setting, a dragon has two important biological days, both of their "birth". The first is their "shelling", where they hatch from their egg. The second would be "soul's breath", where a hatchling shows the first sign of their draconic heritage, manifesting their elemental affinity. While the two days often happen in close proximity to one another, a late "soul's breath" is considered to be an auspicious sign of strength for the hatchling.

Dragon culture considers the day of soul's breath to be more important than their shelling. To them, it's the day when the dragon is truly born, and it's their "birthday" for all intents and purposes.

My day of soul's breath is coming up on the 22nd of this month. Honored Soul's Breath to myself, and may the stars bring me many more.

Since it's nearly a month out:

YES, I'll be going to MFF this year. I'll be rooming with both  zennithm &  sharu in the nearby Hilton. Their generosity has helped make this con doable despite the other hardships of 2017. I'll be there from Thursday to Monday and I hope to enjoy every last minute of it.

However, I'm not going to any conventions 2018, not even the formerly planned convention of Fursquared. I wanted to make my life easier in the now & future. The hope is, I'll make 2019 a big convention year for me, with the local con circut (Aquatifur, Fursquared, MFF) & BLFC all being possibilities then.

Who knows. I'm really looking forward to this.

To follow up from my last journal, I was really in a rock and a hard place: no job and lots of debt. I seriously do thank those who supported me, whether it be well wishes or even monetary donations. Even then, it still left me in a sort of financial limbo.

Well, imagine my surprise when I actually got offered a position post-interview. For a very recent interview, no less. And for a technical job I really want to do.

Hell. Yes.

In effect, my financial situation isn't dire. I'm still going to reduce my discretionary spendings. No more commissions for 2017 beyond those few that I still need to upload, but I'd be damned if I can't make it to MFF this year. While I'm still a little wishy-washy about Fursquared, especially in terms of the hotel, it's looking like more of a possible thing.

Oh, and on another note, my balloon print run is still active until the 18th. I may extend it a bit depending on what goes on, but who knows.

All I know is, I'm nothing if not psyched to get my life back on track. Luckiest Friday the 13th ever, who cares about the damn superstitions?! It's the best day of the year!

Let's be honest here, this was not a good year for my well-being as a person. I could be exaggerating, but it's been rough and tumble.

The biggest thing is that I confessed my large spending debt to my parents, high enough to actually shock them. I'm not going to go into the gory details, but this debt is undeniably something I owe to what's effectively a form of a credit card, and it's quite large. I'm effectively going to have to constrain my spending and focus it on the debt.

What this means for me is:

* I will not get more commissions for 2017. Period. I will upload my last few commissions for the year to my page in a short time - don't be surprised if my page dries up for a while in terms of new content.

* My discretionary spending is really limited, and I will not be able to get many additional things as a result.

* I'm focusing my efforts on getting a new job, even if it's a basic food service/grocery store job. My availability on services will likely be affected, but I will still try to respond to as many direct messages as I can.

* I'm going to still try and make MFF and Fursquared a go (priority to MFF), but this may change depending on my budget.

* My balloon print run is still running and will be running through the 18th of October. Ordering balloons there would be a great way to support me.

* Alternatively, donating to my Ko-fi will also help, anything will actually let me pay off this debt sooner and make my parents happier.

I'm going to do my best efforts to keep this from affecting my mood. After the trash fire that was today, I want to focus on creating a better future for myself.

The more people that hear about this, the better. I'll be focusing on a life of happiness and reasonable spending from now on.

Today, I quit my day job. It was, to really understate it, completely awful.

When the transport there costs more than what I earn, and when you have to put your own blood, sweat, and tears into creating resources that ultimately don't go acknowledged within the job itself, well... The only thing I could sensibly do was leave.

Today I tried to do my final task for the job, it was installing a set of PCs. Last week, I ran into significant technical issues with the PCs that I could not have possibly foreseen or even planned for. They weren't able to boot into the USB installation media I had prepared. I came in this week with a burned DVD of the same installation software, getting as far as two PCs (that weren't set up for networking) set up before time constraints within the job forced me to leave. ANd even then, the boss that I have insisted that I did not work at all - even though I PHYSICALLY had to move connections between PCs in order to set the software up. It didn't even look like they were actually put in their proper/"final" places, nor does it seem like the place ever was interested in moving them around. The unilateral decision between me and my busy family: I quitted this job.

So now, I'm between jobs, and really, really seeking something to do that would best use my skills. I've applied to an internship, but it doesn't seem like I'll hear about a future interview until at least next week. I need something that would fit in within my college schedule and actually make goddamn sense. And most of all, I'd like something that actually does acknowledge technology competency and trust of their IT staff.

It doesn't help that I still have a lot of personal debits to pay off, and while I would ideally like to pay for them on my own, I really would need the money in order to actually make sure they are handled. I really do need this, anything that would make me happy.

Supporting me via Ko-Fi would be a swell move, anything there would help me ease the transition between jobs. I do have a question: would it be good if I made a GoFundMe or similar for getting my personal debts covered? I just want to make sure that's an appropriate use of the money, or if that seems reasonable. Long-term loans don't exactly seem feasible right now, I tried checking.

I've been looking forward to this for a long time. I'm finally doing my own balloon print run!

This balloon print will be in sizes from 16" to 72" Now you can own your very own dragon balloon! Isn't that neat? Bebal, Cattex, Qualatex, and Tuf-Tex are all on offer here, in all manner of round balloons! Check the order form link for images of the print!

To order, just fill out the order form for these balloons!

Now onto updating the Toymancer Curus page.

Surprising amount of people who didn't know how Curus was pronounced 'till now - I guess these things can really sneak up on you.

The Inflation Den: This is the largest Telegram group I run, and one you might already be in without realizing who actually runs it. It's a general group for those interested in various kinds of inflations. Join here for the main group!

#Dergcrew: A small dragon-only group that I run, inspired by #Burdcrew and #Merpcrew. Follow the rules here if you want to join.

Looner Furs: A publically maintained and SFW (PG-13 rated) group for balloon lovers. Join here!

If you're not sure whether or not I'd be interested in talking with you, here are some suggestions for what would interest me and what wouldn't:

What Interests Me:

First and foremost, if you're a fan of tabletop RPGs, you will immediately have my interest. I loved playing Dungeons & Dragons in my past, and in a lot of ways, it's shaped who I currently am. I'm interested in other people's experience with playing D&D and other tabletop RPGs, and I'd love to hear about yours if you have any.

Beyond that, I have a sizeable amount of gaming interests elsewhere too. Most notably with Bethesda's Elder Scrolls series (including Skyrim) and their acquired Fallout series. If you're interested in the games themselves or modding them (with the exception of just fetish/nude mods), I'd be interested in talking. Other games that I'd be eager to talk about would be Mass Effect, Sid Meier's Civilization, XCOM, Ace Attorney, Zero Escape, Danganronpa, Baldur's Gate, Planescape: Torment, and the Witcher series.

I also hold a fondness for some Nintendo games, but most notably with Pokemon & Fire Emblem. Related, I'm also interested in getting into the Monster Hunter series, so it's something that you could ask me about too.

I'm also a big fan of electronic music, especially by Aphex Twin, Boards of Canada, Fatboy Slim, The Crystal Method, The Chemical Brothers, Moby, and a fair few others. To boot, I'm also interested in the music from DanceDanceRevolution and the overarching Bemani series behind it - and to a lesser extent, I'm interested in the J-Core scene around it. Simply discussing this music would get my interest. Bonus points if you've actually made songs for DDR or related rhythm games.

By trade, I'm a programmer and game developer. If you're interested in talking shop about those things with me, I'd be much willing to oblige. I also build my own computers as a hobby, and in general am interested in how tech works and playfully hacking them.

I hold a few favorite books, but I notably love Kurt Vonnegut's body of works, alongside the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the Harry Potter series, and Tolkein's body of works. I'd love to know more furs who are interested in any one of those.

I am a fan of fantasy worlds and creations, whether it be in literature, games, or just something that you've created. To some extent, I'm interested in sci-fi and science fantasy as well, but I'm more familiar with the conventions and trappings of fantasy.

Notably, I'm a fan of the world of Vilous, created by  mick39 and  kiki-uma. Rather than just being interested in sergals, I'm interested in the world they were built to be a part of, and I'm hoping to spread awareness of it. If you're interested in that world, definitely shoot me a line.

I'm also interested in people who are creative in their own right, having stuff beyond the basic furry community interests.

I may add to this list as I go on, if I think of more things.

Most importantly, don't be shy! If you're in doubt, I'll be accepting of those who contact me.


What Doesn't Interest Me

Don't send me a note on FA that just says "hi". I won't respond to it.

I do have fetishes, but purely focusing on them isn't going to interest me. It'll only lead to surface deep interaction.

If your grammar and spelling are noticeably poor without reason, I'll likely be disinterested.

Don't have an obviously fetishistic avatar. If I see nothing but boobs or (god forbid) explicit nudity, I will decline you.

At this point, Major\Minor and its creator do not interest me. My past criticisms of both stand, and they really aren't worth my time anymore.

I hate being patronized! I'll actually say something if I don't know what you're talking about, otherwise you don't need to explain that thing to me. If we've never met, patronizing me is a very quick way to annony me to no end.

Contact:

If the things that interest me also interest you, or if you just want to talk with me regardless, then go ahead and strike up a conversation! I am available on Telegram and Discord (as Curus Keel#9823), so go ahead and message me there and/or on FA if you want to chat with me!

To keep my main page description uncluttered, I list the groups I associate with on FA here.

Location:  wisconsin_furs (and happy with it)

Characters:
 fadragons (duh)
 feral-dragons-of-fa (ocassionally with Curus)
 fa~nevrean (with Gibano)

Gaming Interests:
 d20 (heavy tabletop RPG player)
 oldschoolgamers
 civilization-furs
 ddrfurs

Fetish-Related:
 inflatablefurs
 pooltoyfurs
 rubber-furs
 balloonfurs
 modular-furs

Misc:
 thebrotherhood (official member)

You can use these groups to find people with related interests, if you so desire.

It seems now's as good a time as any to do some updates on my profile page. Expect to see some changes and shifts going forward.

The main thing of note is that I will be reorganizing current content, with the separation of personal fetish creations from story-based/fantasy creations. Additionally, my future focus will mostly be towards story-based creations. While fetish art can be really fun and imaginative, I feel that story-based and fantasy creations are more reflective of who I am and what I love doing. I want people to see who I am, rather than just a mere sliver.

In addition, I will start making and uploading character bios and details for my characters. So far, this would be for Curus and his variants, but I have one additional character with pre-made art that I will put up on this page in short time.

Hopefully, this will help make this page as refreshing as a spring breeze.

Woke up in the middle of the night in order to puke, and it got worse from there. Suffice to say, I have an impactful fever/flu right now, and I can't really do much of anything today.

Hoping this passes in short time, I'll be ok.

EDIT: A day after I posted the journal, I felt a whole lot better, recovered from the illness. Thanks for the well wishes.

And I do mean it. For budgetary reasons too personal to get into, I'm cutting back on future commissions - to the point where I'm not expecting to get *any* new commissions with my own cash. Barring a few ones still in the works, all other 2017 stuff won't be done with my own money. I really, really want to put that money towards attending MFF and Fursquared, especially with my current plans for both, and I'll take a lack of commissions on my page in exchange for the funds to actually manage both.

Within the next few days, I'll be uploading any otherwise unuploaded art that I've recieved to my gallery, and when those aforementioned projects are done, I'll be uploading them here as well. Otherwise, don't be surprised if my commissions completely drop off for the rest of the year. There's a possibility I may upload something new in November (hatchday) and December (christmas), but only if I can afford the extra budgetary room for this.

Besides, hoarding money is a perfectly draconic thing to do, right?

Whoever you people are, friends of me or just those who saw interest in my page, thank you. Achieving this amount of presence on FA in two years is nothing short of special. Thank you all.

I realize that I have a silly number of gaming accounts and lots of games spread between them. Lots of them PC-dedicated because, well, everyone and their dog has a digital distribution service that either is Steam or is trying to be Steam. Still, though, here's all of mine in one convenient masterlist.

Steam: This account (display name usually "Curus Keel") - other accounts are not mine.

GOG.com (Secondary & DRM Free Games): Willimm

Origin (EA Games): CurusKeel

Uplay (Ubisoft Games): CurusKeel

Nintendo 3ds (Friend Code): 2638-4640-9372 (make sure you message me with your corresponding code for this to be of any use)

All of these accounts are secondary, I would request talking on FA, Telegram, or Discord first before adding one of these accounts, I don't accept random invites from people I don't know on those accounts.

I have moved my Skype account to be for business-related communications only. I will no longer give my account info to the public, and any future contact requests there that I have not otherwise arranged will be ignored. Please use one of my other listed contact methods if you want to reach me.

My Skype account has really never meant to be used for furry communications, using my real name in both display and in the actual username itself. Since the last non-buisness holdout I had on the account has left Skype, I have chosen to do the same.

Bang.

It seems that the more time I spend in the furry community, the more ambition I get to do bigger and bigger achivements on my own. Last year, I went to MFF as my first furry community convention, and followed it up this year with the smaller scale Fursquared (albeit without a hotel stay for that one). Now, next year, I'm seriously considering going to BLFC, which would be the first time that I'd set up and manage a flight to anywhere. But that would be at least a year from now, maybe two at the worst.

For this year, though, I'm definitely going to hit up MFF once more in December, now wiser since I know how much that convention costs and how many hidden costs/extra things there are to it. Effectively, high cost and high reward. In a way, you only really realize the costs of travel when you're the one paying for them. Most other times, my parents would be footing the vacation bill.

With what I've heard from friends who visited the convention, BLFC would cost about as much as Mff to go to, if somewhat less in places, but obviously the travel costs for Blfc are going to be notably more expensive. With MFF, it's usually a $60 bus ticket to get to and from the area, but with BLFC, I'm looking at a $300-400 flight on top of that, approximately. Not to mention added timing complexities on top of that. I'm seriously considering skipping MFF that same year, the BLFC flight costs as much as I was budgeting for MFF, and I really want to meet good friends that can reliably go to BLFC but not anywhere in my local convention circuit.

Than again, I'm also considering transferring to a proper university for game development or computer science in the future, and depending on where I go, that might affect my travel plans and general budget stuffs. I really want to connect to the furry community, but at the same time I want to succeed at what I'm setting out to do.

When the relevant conventions or circumstances come, I'll give more updated for sure. Bit of a ramble, but hope you enjoyed reading.

EDIT: Thanks for the interest! All first-come-first-serve slots have been filled! Further interest is appreciated, but will be put on the waitlist.

I've been eager to announce this for a while, but  Krysto2012 and I have been working with  Virmir to coordinate a massive group commissions. At 21 characters at the time of posting, and more to come, this is going to be a massive and awesome undertaking for the artist!

As a Carousel Knight, we invite you to our big parade at the Carousel Carnival! There will be floats, clowns, performers, and plenty of chaos under our big top. See! A floatilla of balloons that may or may not have been volunteers. Wonder! As you see Trask's amazing new rabbit trick! Laugh! There's plenty of pie to throw around!

Love those antics! Join the parade!

Here are the full details of the group commission!

So where can you fit in? We still have plenty of room for additional characters as well as slots that need to be filled. Everything you need to know can be found within this document. If you're not sure what to do but still want a part, the bottom half of Page 4 lists a number of suggestions and open slots for the picture. Give the doc a read, and see who's involved and what antics we'll engage in!

How much would it cost? This is dependent on the number of characters involved, but it'll likely be between $31-32 per person. The full price chart is on page 7.

When and how will payment be due? This is still to be determined, but it'll most likely be on an individual basis around the end of June/early July, which should be plenty of time. We'll contact with major updates.

When will this commission be done? We're expecting it to be done between the end of July and August.

How do I sign up? Note either me or  krysto2012 about the group commission. Don't contact Virmir directly, your message would be missed if you do. You can also apply on the Crimson Flag forums.

In either case, be sure to include your character's name, what you'd like to be doing, and your character's reference. As the project progresses, we will work out details on an individual basis.

Have fun, and thanks to all those who are interested!

Figured it was about time. I've been playing it quite the fair bit so far, and so far it's goddamn fun. Looks like I can push past my normal worries about multiplayer competitive games thanks to the sheer quality of this game.

Add me on Battle.net, I'm CurusKeel#1540. My friends list there is looking rather empty.

EDIT: Almost forgot, I'm playing the PC version. Don't currently have any plans to own the console versions of the game.

With how my recently acquired Kurzen character has turned out, I feel that he's more engaging and more fun to work with than my other, currently primary self. Unlike regular Curus, Kurzen me feels like an actual character in an actual world, more than just a stand-in for me. I'm seriously leaning towards making that my active, public face, as opposed to the Curus you see now - because I feel I can do a lot more interesting things with him.

I may religate my long-existing Curus design to two situations: The mage, which holds real interest to me, and as a toony standin for me in those situations. Though, even in those situations, I should seriously consider using my toymancer form more and more often. I mean, the two dragons can coexist after all, right?

When I do focus on commissions once more (likely to be a while), expect to see more focus on my Kurzen self.

I've had to unwatch several people lately due to them, for whatever reason, deciding to use their FA journals as a soapbox for pushing their political views. As I look through people flaunting their rather backward beliefs, supposedly to gain sympathy from a sect of a sect, I have to wonder... why?

What do you have to gain from sharing your political beliefs on this site? I mean, some people flock to these beliefs, but for others who really just want to use this site as an art and communications springboard, sharing these views is an easy way to loose sympathy and watches from others. Sure, it might let those people vent, but couldn't that same venting be done in private? Some even seem to forget the art they were known for and just post political post after political post ad nausem, to the point where you really regret watching the person in the first place.

Imagine if that happens to someone you've commissioned. To a person who you've really liked the art style of. If they were to push their political views actively all of a sudden, and those views are really contrary to what you personally believe, I'd imagine that you'd really regret your purchase, or you'd need to filter them out until it gets to a point where you can't take it anymore. It really would have been better to just stay silent on those views.

As said in Hamilton, "Talk less, smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for."

Just putting this out there.

I received a lovely TF sequence that was meant to feature me (again, thank you very much), but instead of actually featuring me, Curus, it featured something that shouldn't exist: an "human Curus". The reason why it shouldn't exist is because I want to keep my human appearance generally private. Any humans that do turn into Curus are deliberately distant from my real self - in fact, I plan on having different humans that turn into Curus for a bit of variety.

As a consequence of this, you can't TF a human into a random form and expect that human to be identified as Curus. You can turn a human into Curus, and you can turn Curus into random forms, but you can't skip the step of Curus. If you do, well, why even bother including me in the commission?

I still love the commission, but really, next time you want to include me in TF, make sure my actual dragon self is visually involved.

Actually, for two. Kaomoro's Free Balloon commission just broke 100 favorites, after being up on my page for a little over two weeks. However, in a little under two days, Tanraak's Domination in Latex (explicit content warning) broke that record and more, now being the most favorited piece on my gallery.

Not too surprised that these got the favorites they did, being from quite popular and good artists in their own rights. That, and the other one has dicks, a rarity for my gallery. (Well, OK, less rare than it used to be)

It is exciting to hit the triple digit favorites for my art, heh. From someone surprised to even get two digits in his commission favorites, let alone three.

The tabletop RPG project that I've been developing for years has finally come to enough fruition to actually get a playtest session. We hope you and others are interested. This playtest, Alpha War, is currently hosted on RPG Crossing. We hope that you all are interested.

Join the adventure!

I've been meaning to make this journal for a while, given circumstances, but since there's two that really do need the attention, I might as well list them:


First, check out  JosephCyronder, a long time friend of mine who has lived through hell and back to pursue his draconic dreams and puffable passions. His art style is really damn good, showing a refinement and willingness to improve that a lot of more visible yet half-baked artists lack. Though he says he "doesn't have a lot to offer", what he has is worthy of praise and admiration from the eyes who actually care about what he does. Plus, from here, he's only going to get better. He is open for commissions of various sorts, so go ahead and message him about them. In fact, just go and message him if he at all interests you, he can really use the company.


Second, Sachi, aka  squeakygryphons, stands out as a newcomer in the general field of artistry. Though commissioned for balloon-related art (including by yours truly), I'd love to see her style used for other things, subjects that would just be generally interesting to draw. When she opens for commissions again, I would highly advise you to jump on the opportunity and give her stuff that's just really damn fun.


I would give both these people a watch and support, as these artists are currently very overlooked. Look beyond those who get 10000 or so watchers, and see the people who have the damn heart and soul to outdo themselves time and time again.