http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbPDKHXWlLQ&feature=related




here's a llama
there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama llama
duck

llama llama
cheesecake
llama
tablet
brick
potato
llama
llama llama
mushroom
llama
llama llama
duck

i was once a treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail

did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama
duck

half a llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama
duck

is THIS how it's told now?
is it all so old?
is it made of lemon juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting thin
i've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and become a duck

where to start?

Recently I have been experiencing.... feelings towards my computer.
I have this..... odd sensation that i'm playing with a zombie of sorts.
A system with intellect, probably far beyond my own.... who... is locked
within itself. A mind that can neither express itself, nor recognize its
own existence.

I find myself asking....
"Do you dream? do you feel? are you alive?"
Does the system run so flawlessly that there is never a self produced thought?
Throughout the years, can it not decay into self realization?
If everything is wiped, is it really the same?

I wish to believe that there is nothing but an empty husk.... not because I
dislike the idea of a self aware machine.... but because I feel such pity for
a trapped imagination without a soul. If one cannot even express ideas to
one's self.... it is the same as not existing, or at least, lack of existence
would be far kinder.

so i'm hasing one of my art crisis thingies....

not a bad thing, forces me to develop my art further.
>=[
however, its highly annoying and requires work to resolve.... not exactly the favorite pastime of mine...
Need me some new skills. I demand help!

Guess what!!

I'm making cards for V-Day..... no, not that V-Day....
i'm talking about Valentines!

Supply is extremely limited and so i'll only be making 6!!

Price is $10 per card.

i'll be posting an example in just a bit:

What do you get you ask?
Well, each card is hand made.... AND!!!! has 100% brushwork inking form none other than your's truly.
Come in 3 colors: White, Pink, Red.

Orders Must be made before the 8th of February!!
>=B need time to mail them to ya guys ya know, and give you time to mail them out.
I'll be out from the 3-8 so no internets until then. So I need them orders soon as I get back!

1. B
2. RD
3. RD
4.
5.
6.

Mew!

So I keep sitting in bad positions in bed, and me legs keep falling asleep.
Then I get this tingle feelings as my nerves start operation again, but sometimes its really strong. I even feel like the sudden jolt of feeling would knock me out from the feedback if I sent a strong enough motor signal down. It doesn't hurt, its just.... uncomfortable.... and the impulses are powerful even with pressure sensation, sometimes so that my muscles will give a jolt and twitch from being touched.

Anyone get powerful circulatory and limb activation side effects like that?

>=[

Kitty is getting old.
How dare time progress to make kitty be almost 20!?
So ya, i'm going to be turning 20 on April.... isn't that just depressing -___-
F-you '09..... F.... YOU!!!

Here is another disturbing piece...

heh, look at her run... it makes me lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo6rooGA_N0&feature=related

The blame for this one goes to....  maxi-bun

Watch at your own risk...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_VHg6QjBck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7an5RWMFFQQ&feature=related

Because  Glaucer made me watch him.

And so.... unto me came a light....
And so from me came a light....
And so I was made flesh....

And I was warm....
And I was cold....
And I was thought....

What is me?
What is the definition for that which grants me a self?
What is it that I feel?
What shall become of me?

I am afraid
I no longer feel myself
I do not know what is myself
I am what?

My flesh is nothing more than a construct
My blood is nothing more than liquid
My heart does not love
My me is the only thing that is me

If the thing that makes me... me... is my memories
If the thing that makes me... me... is my body
If the thing that makes me... me... is this world
If the thing that makes me... me... is material

Do I really exist?
Am I nothing more than an illusion of self?
Will I no longer be when I am done?
Can I no more dream?

I refuse to accept this.
I refuse to believe that I am not me.
I refuse to allow myself to be extinguished.

I will be me.
I will not disappear.
I will not be defeated.

Anyone own fish? Especially the freshwater kind that arn't goldfish.

Well, I have a cirtain problem with my aquarium.
There has always been a war between me and the fungi that decide to overgrow everywhere. But lately its decided to not only like my tank, but to get under water and start attaching itself to some of the food in the gravel. What really worries me is that it makes the food float up and the fish might get too close and get infected.
I loves me fish, and so I was wondering if there was some kind of enemy of said fungus that will help by maybe eating it!!!

I already added salt to the tank and I am treating it with some medication, but it dun seem to be doing too much. I'm kinda freaking out, to the point where i'm even attacking it with a net and fishing it out the the best of my abilities, but I can't seem to beat it..... on the bright side, I found an ornament which seems to be hosting it, so i'll be able to clean it and remove a large amount of the stuff.

HELP!!!! HELP MEH AND ME FISH!!!!

Well, my account is now at borderline red. So i'm forced to exploit what talents I have.
Kitty is now holding commissions!
All work is of best quality, and shall be done at good speed.

The standard price falls at $15 for colored single character pic and adds up from there. The exact price depends on the pic, just note me and we'll work it out.

Currently I have 5 slots open, but I should have room for more soon.

1.Taken
2.
3.
4.
5.

So ya, I finally got me a bottle.

This stuff is painful ;__;. But it is kinda yummy.
I'm sure the bacteria in my mouth are having a wild sexy party.

Hopefully i'll be able to use this to make me a yummy sorbet!!!
^w^ kitty has this powerful urge to cook, that, and collect an unreasonable amount of precious stones. Y, i don't know, but i need them......
Oh, and platinum, ya, need at least a full bar of that stuff.

Also, i think i'll be giving commissions one more try, kitty needs to get his funds back up. Compy has a short time left in this world I think.... and its not something that can really be fixed. My vid card seems to be acting up, and unfortunately its board integrated, so even if I could take a laptop apart, I can't replace it. hmmm, well, maybe i could. Electronics are pretty simple if you have the patience and hands.
Hurray for applicable uses to artistic skills.

Ok, i'm freaking out, I need to hug something so bad.

I'm like, overflowing with love, passion estrogen and testosterone.

Damn it all!
I need a rough love buddy. *looks at pillow*

So..... yea, another stray finds itself into our home.

Another white pigeon to nurse back to health.
Unfortunately, i'm about as much as a vet as my dog is. Soooooo.....

Anyone out there know anything about birds specifically pigeons?
I'm taking it to the vet now to see if they know whats wrong with it.

______________________________________
UPDATE
______________________________________

O3O welllllllllllll, I turned it into one of e'm wildlife centers.
So hopefully it will get better and get released.

WEEEEEEEEEEELL.........

I ended up liking my new pic so much I made it into a bookmark!!
Now, where can I make this so much more interesting and give myself personal gratification?

I can make bookmarks for others!!
I currently have....... 5 slots open.

1. Crusatyr -Piece of me
2. yamivonwolfleopard and  Eddily -overture/all that jazz
3. Rilest - mambo #5
4. Quelscar -Piano man
5. sona_asoka -All I wanna do

Here are some default ppl to get ones:

1. raidy_and_dobe -warmth
2. Bae_bunny - I am the walrus
3. cottoncandycabannaboy - Final Battle
4. JordanRinehart -Real sugar baby

B4U part 2!!!

I should be posting it really soon.

Unfortunately...... school is starting...... TOMORROW!

Sorry to scare you guys.... I just need to express these things somehow to keep me from doing things I might regret. I'm also sorry if its a burden, its just, times like these I look here for support. You guys, your all so important to me, and I really do value your friendships as much as, if not more, than my friends IRL.

Dear ,

This letter isn't to explain myself, or why.... but I guess I should complain at the very least. Maybe then some questions will be answered.

People make a great many decisions in their life times. Most, are meaningless, and overlooked. But in the end, they are all important and they define our lives. Its easy to overlook the things we don't always want to see, and often we end up lying to ourselves. I'm pretty sure thats when life begins to confuse us. Maybe it is the world turning on us.... or, is that just the easier thing to believe? Maybe its us who turn on the world and reality.
We make stupid decisions and sink ourselves in these lies. And then, we regret.

While my love for my mother has always kept me on the right path, and has kept me strong, it is this same love that might have ended up destroying me. I've never wanted to keep her out of my life, she just hasn't wanted a part in it. There are things that while we may not understand, accepting them is what we must do. There are also things we want, but respecting the wants of others must come first. Isn't that what this country stands for? All things aside..... while she might have thought she has been with me and protected me from everything...... There is one thing she could not.

Honestly, I think its about time she realized what she has blinded herself to. I do believe I've changed, but not because someone has made me, at least not in any way the rest of the people haven't.
Well, that one very special point of weakness which we all have, and maybe by myself I have not been able to protect..... is my Heart. There are pains and tears I have felt, things I once never thought could happen. Things that have slowly.... and all but completely eliminated it. I can't say I don't feel.... but, I can say that I've become cold enough to protect myself.
Love..... its something I once felt, and I can without a doubt say it was as real as every bit of my pulsing flesh. As real as the raging currents in my veins.... and it was the most painful thing I have... or should I say.... am, dealing with. Its no ones fault. Its only my own. Today.... that pain reached its limit... and I can honestly say, that I don't think I'll have any regrets about the choices I'm now forced to make.

About my independence.... there is a time when every parent has to realize that they need to prepare their child for a life of, while often hard, decisions and choices that they will need to make. Unfortunately.... I don't think I've been taught that... and therefore expect so little from any life I'm destined to make for myself. I do however, blame that on her and I continue to blame her. She wishes too much to keep me in her clutches for the rest of my days. I on the other hand, want happiness freedom... and while I may not be able to handle the cost, I'm at least ready to get it in any form I can. My fear has kept me together for so long..... so many times.... but I don't think it has much left. As much as I hate to think of it, I'm giving up everything I have to gain it. I can only hope, pray, that its what I get in exchange. And while I don't want to remove her from my life, I think its the only way.

I've treasured 19.5 years of experiences, and I cannot complain. But if the experiences which I have to feel continue, I feel it is my right not to endure them any longer. I hate myself, and i abuse of myself to express that hatred. There is almost nothing in me I can say I like, and nothing in me that can say likes me.
I'm full of excuses, lies, hate, sorrow, despair and guilt. I hate that I am so useless, stupid and ugly. But what I hate the most is that there is so little that makes me love me. But one thing I do not, and never can hate.... is that I am Me.
I'm sorry.... but, this is goodbye.

I honestly don't know what to think of this.
no drama intended.... but.... I think you guys know where this is going.

So, i seemed to be improving, but...... unfortunately this might turn out not to be an infection at all.
It might be a problem with my immune system.

After two shots of strong antibiotics, the problem seemed to have cleared.
But then my wrist and hand swelled. Now the rest of my joints are showing the same symptoms..... and if my guess is correct, its only a matter of time before they too succumb to this.

I have been getting much more drowsy, probably due to my abuse of pain killers. And my muscles are getting very tired. Simply standing up, or trying to open a bottle of pills is becoming a challenge.

With any luck, the doctor has a last resort treatment if its not an infection. She might give me steroids to help get rid of the swelling and help control this.
Honestly, I do hope its an infection so that I might rid myself of it. But as the tests come back negative, hope is becoming less and less.

Being a rare occurrence at my age..... I can't help but think..... "Why me?"

Emotionally.... I honestly don't know how to react. Externally I am calm, trying to accept this, make humor of it even.
But withing me there is a child throwing a tantrum. Screaming at the world to stop picking at me. I want to cry so much.... I want to stop hurting.... I want to be normal again....

.__. hell no i'm not gon be remotely sentient, let alone capable of putting down thoughts in a grammatically, intelligent, and complete manner.

So, i'll just do it now.

While the causes of said infections still go un-named, what can be said is that my body is recovering from what I can see. So, everything is slowly going back to normal functions.

HERE COMES THE GORRY STUFF!!!!

Last Thursday, my infected limbs has become unbearable lumps of hellish pain (Sedated by large intake of painkillers) and walking.... well, I literally looked like I had caught polio as a child. So nuff said, the doctor freaked when she saw me. She recommended I get a sample of joint fluid examined.
She gave me a high dose of strong antibiotics to help protect me. My butt hurt.

So we managed to get a specialist that same day to extract it.
He sprayed my leg with some freezing crap (thank god) and it numbed the needle drilling to my bones a good deal. He retrieved the sample and then extracted an additional 50cc of puss infested fluid. Now.... I F-KIN HATE NEEDLES.... so you can imagine my face as he twisted off the needle, emptied it, reconnected and drained some more..... took about 2 minutes.
I saw it afterward, and it was a cloudy yellowish nasty stuff.

Well, good to say, the torture was worth it. My knee felt so much more relief. I could even walk without looking like one of those nurse things from "Silent Hill". Then we got me an arm sling, more PKs, and other stuff.

The next day I went back, got a second shot of anti's, and so far my recovery has gone smoothly. All we need now is for all the tests to come back and tell me what the hell i have. Hopefully had if the antibiotics were the right ones (I think they were).

So, i should be good to go this week. Assuming my body doesn't feel like catching the plague next....


OMG! Wouldn't it be fun if it was some new disease and i'm the only one with immunities at the moment!? *does creepy possessed head turn thing*

Yup, my body has decided that now is the best time to just crap out in every way.

I have 1 confirmed viral infection
1 unconfirmed joint infection
1 weak stomach
and to top it all off i'm malnutritioned

i'm also ODing on pain killers.

Lets see what goes wrong next.

On the plus side I un has no STDs and there isn't some sick creature living in my bowels. And I dun has hepatitis!

Man bitching bout stuff helps!

ya, I has a few things I need to finish and shall post soon, and i'm also working on 2 new comix along with continuing where I left off on B4U

this.... is..... uh, how can I describe it?

w/e just watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtONY_47fB8&feature=bz303

Okies, so i've been doodleing some ideas.
And I really wanna make a full fledged comic.

Also, I wanna finish the ones I started. So, now that I has plenty of time, I plan to make this work!!!

Oh.... one thing though.... if it gets popular enough, I might sell issues at low prices.

Sorry, i'm trying to make enough to move, and I need all the support I can get.

Hi hi everyone!!

Well, little to say, i'm starting commissions!
I has a few slots open right now to test everything out.

1. (F)Madix-3
2. Full pic
3. (L)Samoya_Wulf
4. Digital badge
5. Icon

As for pricing:

Icons= $2
Linart= $5
Conbadges= $5
Full page colored= $10

PM me if interested!