Yesterday I filed a complaint to the dean about my professor and his decision to dock me a grade level on one of my papers for my actions last week. Today, when I got into class and signed in, there was a "See me" next to my name on the roster, so I went up to the professor to find out what's what. He apologized for docking me a grade letter last week and restored my paper to an A.

I could see in his eyes that he wasn't sincere about his apology; it had to be the Dean. But regardless, I got my A back. *fistpump* Joy.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2244760/

and are in a tight spot and need gas money, so they're taking emergency commissions for fursuit pieces. Their work is very good, so if you were ever interested in a suit, even a partial, go check them out. You won't be disappointed.

~Chris

I did away with that name for a reason. I have a bad history with that persona and I'm trying to move away from it. There are some people who aren't willing to give me another chance because of it, and that's fine, I understand. But at least don't hold it against me. That's like a kick in the face to me, trying to hold my past over me like some sort of ball and chain.

So from now on, please just call me Chris, or if that makes you uncomfortable, Cyclone.

Now go on with your day and have fun.

For the past three weeks I haven't been able to fall asleep before 2AM, whereas I used to be in bed by around 11, possibly earlier on school nights. Now I'm having nights where I'll stay up until 3:30am or later, try to sleep, but be unable to do so. I'm not sure what's causing it, but my guess is either my intake of sodas or my medication.

But anyway, yeah. Unless it's a school day or I have work, I usually don't even get up anymore until noon or so. So I've officially become an insomniac. Better find something to do at night besides tweeting and FA.

Was fucking pissed as shit earlier. The professor pulled me aside as soon as I came into class this morning. The guy whom I had dialog with the other day actually TOLD on me, and after explaining myself, the professor, as punishment, docked me one full letter grade on my last paper. So instead of an A, now it's a B. WTF? Are they even allowed to do that?

I felt like knocking his fucking teeth in, right there. But instead, I ended up leaving class early. I was fuming and couldn't stand being in the same room with him. It was such bullshit.

I'm gonna bring it up next week, but....fuck. I could've handled a lecture or even a citation on my transcript for disorderly conduct, but lowering my GRADE? Not fucking fair. At all.

I hope this guy gets fired.

Started wondering if it's all worth it, everything I've gone through to make myself better, etc. So I slept on it, and I got an answer in my dreams.

Yeah, it is worth it. I realized something. I might achieve nothing for all my effort. I might make nothing of myself for it, I might not get anywhere for it. But the key word there is might. Those are all maybes. They're one possible outcome of several.

Those are all guaranteed outcomes if I don't try though. If you don't take a chance, you'll never succeed. Much like the saying "the only thing needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing," the only action needed to ensure your failure is no action at all.

lol, that's my wise rant for the evening. I have school tomorrow, and, not surprisingly, that guy I confronted yesterday told on me, so the professor wants a word with me tomorrow. Ho boy.

Peace.

Well, my brother in law has been teaching me some self-defense basics, mostly what he learned in hand-to-hand combat from the military, and one of the perks that came with it was a huge confidence boost. I used to be really submissive and avoided confrontation as much as I could, but ever since Adam started training me I've felt like I could accomplish a lot more. And it showed in class today.

This guy has been sitting next to me in criminal law class for about four weeks now. He's loud, obnoxious, constantly talks during lecture, and generally just annoys the shit out of me. He's also bigger then me; he had a good 3 inches and 25 pounds on me. Any other time in the past I would've just ignored it to the best of my ability and not said anything, because I wouldn't want to pick a fight, and certainly not with a guy who could easily overpower me physically. But I'd been putting up with it practically since the semester started, and today I had enough.

So, during our 10 minute break, I waited for this guy outside of class and pulled him aside to have a private word with him. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but it went something like this:

"I don't know why you like to disrupt class so much, but I'm trying to learn something here and you're making it that much harder for me. I've had enough. You say one more word during lecture that isn't a question to the professor, and I'm gonna smack you so hard that your teeth are going to fly across the room. Got it?"

Of course he gave me a dirty look as I expected. Said something like "what the fuck is your problem pal? Who died and made you boss?"

I was intimidated and, trying really hard not to show it, I said "Nevermind who died, I'm just the fucking boss. Now either sit down and shut up, or get up and move to another seat, or leave. Whatever you do, irritate me one more time and you'll be leaving the class with a handprint on your face."

He was shocked stupid, let me tell you. I went back inside, took my seat, and went on with the rest of my day. He sat down and didn't say another word, didn't even so much as look at me. He could tell by the look on my face that I was ready to smack him. I was able to take my notes in peace and my day ended without incident.

I'm normally not like this; I really do hate confrontation. And I probably could've handled the situation better. But I felt good, let me tell you. I'm trying to learn something here, and it felt good for once to take command of the situation on my own merit and not have to rely on others (the professor) to take care of it for me. It felt damn good, and although I don't intend on doing something like that again, I feel satisfied with myself knowing that I am capable of standing up for myself finally.

The moral of the story? Don't fuck with Chris. Not when he's in school.

Anyway, I'm tired so I'm gonna crash for a while. Spring break is coming up soon and I hope to go to Vegas some time this month for the NBA playoffs. Peace guys.

Wise blog #2 from a dog whom is spending his school night bored as fuck.

We all get angry at things for many reasons. It's a completely normal human emotion and its a good way to get stress out of your system. But you should never let your anger get to the point where it starts to influence or dictate your actions. Typically, when you get angry your judgment and moral sense goes out the window, and you end up doing something you wouldn't do otherwise, something you'll very likely regret soon afterwords. It's especially aggravating when your anger was based on something really stupid or silly.

A person is not defined by their emotions, only by their choices. I don't judge a person based on their emotions or abilities, but rather based on what they choose to do with them. So if you intend on doing something out of anger or spite, think twice about it, and consider this: "Would I still go through with this if I was calm and collected?"

That's about it from me tonight. Really irked by something at the moment, but I can't really do anything about it, nor do I want to start anything over it. This was the best thing I could think of to channel my frustration towards.

Also, took down my last journal. I was getting creepy notes (from strangers) because of it. Why do these things always seem to bring out the weirdos?

Um, no. I'm not. People are calling me that because I'm going around trying to talk to people and because of the journals I'm making.

Let me clarify. Attention whore is when I had a Twitter and made random miniblogs about being depressed and threatening suicide. Attention whore is when I started public drama with people on FA (and at the time, F2F) for no reason other than because I was jealous. That's not what I'm doing now, nor do I have any intention of ever doing that again.

Leaving frequent comments or shouts on peoples pages and journals is NOT being an attention whore; it's trying to stay in touch, offer my advice or input, and solidify friendships. Making journals discussing topics like the last one is NOT being an attention whore; it's trying to voice my opinion and add something to the community. That's what I'm doing with my free time on FA now.

If you really think I'm an attention whore for doing these things, do me a favor, unwatch me and bugger off, cause I don't need you. I don't want people around that aren't willing to give me a chance, the benefit of the doubt, simply because of my past. Those aren't people I want to have any sort of contact with. You can start shit with me if you want. I don't intend to feed it publically, but know that I can dish it out in spades if you push it. Live and let live is my policy, but if you fire, I will fire back.

Sorry, had to address that cause it was bugging the fuck out of me. I'm a bit of a journalholic when I have nothing else to do, so if you don't like reading multiple journals in a day, sorry. I'm done now; got a paper to write. Catch you fools later.

# Don't forget to add me on AIM/Steam if you haven't. :3

So I'm going to be trying something with my journals for a while, and that is to discuss a topic that is personally important to me and that, hopefully, some of you might learn something from it or gain new insight. Sometimes I may just be stating the obvious, common sense, but I don't care; I want to try and contribute something with my rants for the most part. I mean, if I'm going to be doing journals every couple of days, they should be worth looking at, right? So we'll see how it goes.

Trust is a hard thing to come by these days. It takes a lot of time and effort to build, whether it be through friendships, business, therapy, whatever. It's hard to make anything work out if you don't have or can't trust people. I had it once, I did some stupid shit, I didn't have enough appreciation for it, and I lost it. Now I'm trying to earn it back.

If you have it, respect it. Don't squander it or do anything that might put someones trust in you in jeopardy. If you lose it, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, to get back. Once you lose it, you lose a certain amount of credibility as a person, and being able to trust you again will be a lot more difficult to do. It's why I'm having such a difficult struggle rebuilding my bridges.

So yeah, don't risk it, especially if it's over something really petty and childish. I guarantee you'll end up regretting it and kicking yourself for it. I did.

That's my word of the wise for today. Hope you enjoyed this short rant.

Edit: Oh, and I'd also like to extend a nice "fuck you" to Steam for having such shitty terms of service. Griefing is fine, but suggestive names are not? Fuck you.

It's just wrong.

For those who don't know what doc dropping is, it's when you disclose the personal information (I.E name, address, etc) of someone who has never disclosed such information and doesn't want it made publically available. I made a video a few days ago (which I subsequently took down because my "demands" were met) responding to someone who threatened to doc drop another user (one that I have a lot of contempt for) if she did not agree to make a public apology for her bullshit, and would do so if anyone flagged his video (which I tried to do, but he closed the channel he uploaded it with). It wasn't so much the doc dropping itself that infuriated me, but rather the fact that this guy was going to give out her personal information to every pedophile and convicted sexual offender he knew on the west coast. I made a video calling this person out and threatened him with a lawsuit if he didn't take down that video and issue an apology to her for making such a horrible threat (because this is facilitating criminal behavior, and also libel).

People seem to respond in your favor when threatened legally as opposed to being insulted morally. But I was dead serious. So yeah, if you have personal information about anyone, even if you don't like that person, don't disclose it with anyone. It's just wrong.

Oh, the horror. All the 350lb black chicks wearing spaghetti-strap moomoos. I'm scarred.

On the bright side, got an A on my last paper. Treated myself to a new game and some Panda Express.

I'm fucking tired; gonna pass out now.

A couple of people we're asking about it and I never gave any clear reason for it, mostly because it was very personal and because it is still strongly affecting my life at this point. I was going to wait until tomorrow since I have a paper to write, but it kept popping into my head, and I owe this to at least a few people, so sit down cause it's going to be a long read.

My reasons for taking another hiatus four months ago had nothing to do with anything that anybody said or did around here, or anywhere else on the internet. My reasons were very personal and until the heat died down, I simply couldn't be around here.

A few months ago my dad had an...incident. He had stopped at a bar after work to have a few drinks and discuss an upcoming project with a client. This was the end of a 48 hour shift for him, so he was dead tired, and he drank a little too much. On the drive home, he fell asleep at the wheel, and his car veered through a guard rail and into a ditch. Nobody was injured, but the car was totaled and he knew it was his fault.

We saw the car when he got home, and naturally we were concerned. When we inquired as to what happened, he gave us the story, told us where he had been and what he was doing. We were all tired so we didn't discuss it too much, but the next morning my mom did a google search on the bar that he was at prior to the accident, saw the provocative images of scantily-clad women, and assumed it to be a titty bar. Now this wasn't the case, the bar was just having a promotional for business; it was not in any way a nude bar. But that's the conclusion she ran with, and for at least 6 weeks straight our entire family had to suffer for her delusion. There was no talking to or reasoning with her. She actually packed up and moved next store because she didn't want to have to see his face (or mine, since I took his side, reluctantly), and it was a big fucking mess.

It SORT of blew over after two months or so. It wasn't really forgotten, but it was forgiven. Life goes on and all that. But ever since then, she's been using the incident as a crutch to hold over his head for whatever. She's an alcoholic and drinks heavily on a DAILY basis, but any time we try to confront her about it, she either brings up the titty bar bullshit, or, in my case, just says something like "yeah, what about it!?" I should also mention that she's a pill whore and takes a number of different medications daily, most of which she probably doesn't even need to function. Last week she had a bad reaction to one of her meds because she drank too much beer beforehand. She ended up vomiting all over her bed and being unable to go to work that evening.

We finally got the car fixed a couple of weeks ago. We kept it in the garage for the last few months because we didn't want our neighbors to see the damage caused by the accident, and it looks brand new now. But she still insists on hanging this bad incident over his head, keeping him under her thumb, so to speak, and it's caused a lot of strain in our family. Dad is ready to divorce her if she isn't willing to let it go, and I honestly can't blame him for feeling that way, but both of them keep dragging me into this mess and all I'm trying to do is keep my distance from it as much as I can. It's not my battle and I hate taking sides, but every time an argument breaks out I seem to get dragged into it, and every time I walk away feeling that I only made it worse.

It's still not resolved. But I'm at the point now where I can just deal with it and move on, and that's when I came back. I surround myself with my schoolwork and my RL friends and relatives so I don't have to constantly look at it. I'm tired of it, quite frankly. I said I done with being an enabler of drama of just about any sort, and this is why, because I'm in my own nightmare of drama right now, and I now see what it can do to people, first-hand. I don't see this marriage lasting with the way things are unfolding at the moment, but all I can do is live my life and try to not let it affect me so much.

So that's why I left four months ago. I had to get away so I could deal with this and undergo some self-growth as a result. And if you are mad at me or resent me for that, fine, I guess I understand. But I had my reasons and I make no apology for it. I think it's unfair that I lost some friends because of it, but I understand why people may have felt the way they did. I left at a time when some of my best friends were in a state of emotional flux. But I had to do it or I was going to break, so take it for what it is.

So now you know. Back to writing my paper cause it's going to be a LONG day at school tomorrow. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Have a good one guys, peace.

It's going to be about something important, something I feel I need to explain to people about why I left for the second time a few months ago. And it has nothing to do with anybody around here; my second hiatus was for very personal family-related reasons.

I'll deal with it later though; right now I'm heading to Gamestop to pick up a preorder. Been waiting 6 months for this game. I've been playing my PSP like crazy while waiting between class periods, switching off between Birth By Sleep and FF7 Crisis Core. Sadly I have a big paper to write tonight for my criminal law class, so ugh.

My new siamese cat is a pervert, by the way. He peeks in on me while I'm taking a shower.

I went into this movie with low expectations, based on the reviews I had heard. Most of them praised the special effects and CGI's, but thought that the plot and its execution were horrible.

The story probably isn't that good on its own, no. But the way the story unfolds throughout the movie, in my opinion, makes it great. It sets a premise, follows through, and concludes in a way that most people wouldn't see coming, but can understand and appreciate. Nothing is left unexplained, and though some people will probably be confused or lost at first, I guarantee that you'll figure it out by the end, and see it for the creative masterpiece that it is. It's one of those rare gems of a movie that tries to do something different, tries to do something unique, and pulls it off well.

So yeah, thumbs up on Suckerpunch from me. Go see it.

Here's something I found quite entertaining: It's a song that I haven't heard in 13 years, but was one of my favorites when it was a regular broadcast on FM stations.

It's called The Way, by Fastball: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0wfu3tOrtQ

First, I'm using my old character from a previous username. I'm still working on a new character to go with this persona and it'll probably take me a while to finalize, so until then I'll be using my older character, which some people may recognize.

Second, I'll be honest, the reason I've made a new username is because I have a pretty shaky history with my old one. I've done some regrettable things, burned a lot of bridges, screwed up badly even though I'd been given chance after chance to get it right. This persona is the man born from those mistakes, and I'm not gonna screw it up this time. If that makes you weary of me, so be it, at least I tried to set things right.

Now then, some minor details about me:

Height: 5'11.
Weight: 180lbs.
Build: Average.
Age: 22.
Eyes: Brown.
(I'll throw up a picture some time to use as my Profile ID)

Favorite movie: Fright Night (I LOVE Chris Sarandon)
Favorite band: Avenged Sevenfold.
Favorite song: For Those About to Rock (by AC/DC): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMUgmU_Hsjc
Favorite game: Metal Gear Solid.

Do I like -

Read: Yes.
Write: Yes.
Movies: Horrors.
Smoke: No.
Drink: Occasionally.
Drugs: Hell no.
Travel: Sure.
Kinks: Yes, but I won't share them with strangers.
Porn: Don't care for it.
Tasteful nudity: Fine.
Paws/feet (seems like a big one for people around here): Not my thing.
Roleplay: No.
Chatting with friends: Yes.
Listening to others: Yes.
Sweet tooth: Oh yes.
Sports: Yes, Football and Basketball.
Board games: Chess.

Do not like: Liars, idiots, religion (I'm an athiest and an anti-theist, which means I find any religion to be dangerous), politics, hot weather, sweet/sour foods, drama (I've caused too much of it in the past), yiff, FOX news.

Phobias: Deep water, heights, spiders, fire.

Sexuality: Straight (but I fully support bi/homosexuality).

Status: Single, not really looking.

Zodiac: Cancer.

So there you go.