Got up to my mum's nice and safe, its great seeing both her and my brother again, haven't seen em both in about 4 months. So I spent last night catching up on all the news from my bro and playing Kingdom Hearts 2 until 3 o'clock in the morning XD

Good stuffs, good stuffs. Well if I don't update again until xmas, I shall wish you all a very merry Christmas, hope you get all you want and don't hold back on the turkey!!

Goin up to see my mum for Christmas, so I gotta go aaaaaaall the way up north to Preston, taking me a grand total of 4 hours on the train :( and I'll have to fork out 50 or so quid (about 100 bucks)

Ah well, best make sure my phone is fully charged - Gonna have a Pokemon Crystal marathon methinks. Lovely Leon put a GBC emulator on my new mobile :P

Just finshed doing the last of my essays for this semester :D

Now I can concentrate on the important things in life, like spending more time with my lovely Wuffy.

And perhaps get around to finishing Chapter 2 of Anthrahsia >_>

Leon, before you were in my life I didn't know where I would be or what I wanted from this world. Now that you are with me, I know that it's you that I want, you that I need forever. I treasure every second I'm with you and I don't want to imagine my life without you in it, because thinking about that scares me more than anything else in this world.


I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing



I love you so much.

Well well well, finished another furmeet. Was it as good as the last one? eeeeehm, no, not really. Mostly due to the fact that the meet organiser hadn't so much organised any activities, so much as just expected us to mill aorund cardiff all day. It was fun, just not a patch on the last one.

Photos can be found here, http://www.ukfur.org/forums/index.p.....mp;#entry73880 and some videos taken can be found in these thar links ^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lkusALanmk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH2R68d3NxE
yes that is me shouting at the camera at the end :P

Ok folks, something needed to be done, I've been getting tired of other furs calling me Cum instead of Kyoom in RL. So, as a result of this, I have decided to make the biggest change yet, it is A NAME CHANGE!!!

I was never reaaally that happy with the name Cym, its been a good name for me for the past while, but it doesn't feel.... whats the word? Right.

So then, I now give you all my new fur name:

Ember Mynydd


what does it mean? Ember Mountain. The last word is pronounced Meenith. I will still of course respond to the name Cym if you want to call me by that. But that'll be more of a nickname then "Ember".

I feel this name better reflects the character that I have created over the past 6 months, and I feel a lot more comfortable going by this name.

Hoorah! Another opportunity for me to frollick and have merriment with my fellow Welsh furs here in jolly old Cardiff town :D

Except this time, Forepaws has got himself a full fox fursuit! So there should be some interesting photo oportunities this time round methinks ;) I shall of course be parading my new tail around the busy streets, doubtless gaining much attention from the avarage shopper, much to my delight.

Expect an update after the weekend :D

Again, I have been losing myself to the wonders of Youtube, and browsing the furry goodness that can be found within. Fursuit parades, fursuit dances, and general fursuit fun, all of it lovely and fuzzy.

But then there are the not so good vids. Basically any that involve media attention. E.G MTV, That BBC Nightline one, Anna Meets the Furries etc etc. *adopts classic 2 ranting voice* THEY MAKE US LOOK LIKE FREAKS!!!! How in the hell is the fandom ever going to be anywhere near accepted when there are these "weirdo's" who look like the stereotypical geeks that the media thinks we are, parading around telling bemused reporters:

"oh um yes, I do in fact believe that I am a Benegal Tiger, the fact that I clearly have skin is not the point."

Seriously now, I know there are a lot of furs who feel like this, and thats fine! You want to do that, it makes you happy, go for it! BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE. Do not tell news-hungry journalists about it. It only makes the rest of us look bad, as the general public thinks we ALL feel that way!!

Take me for example. I am not a komodo dragon. I do not share some deep spiritual feeling or connection with them, I just like them. Would I like to be turned into my furry self? Sure why not? It'd be fun, if only for scaring the shit out of the other people. Nor do I go in for fursuit based yiffing, or much yiffy stuff in general. My involvement in the fandom goes as far as costuming and having a helluva laugh doing so, and drawing and appreciation of anthropomorphic media. Thats as far as I go, and I'm damn happy to be a fur because of this. Does that make me "less" of a fur than those who believe they have an animal spirit? FUCK NO. Someone I knew, a Therian, thought less of me because:

"Oh you're not really a fur if you don't have an animal spirit, it just makes you a poser-fur."

FUCK THAT SHIT, you scat-eating pisshead. I am a fur, just not in the same way as you, nimrod. I just happen to have a sense of what is realistic, and understand that although we may not like the way other people treat furries, if we want to be taken seriously, then we have to abide by typical, real life conventions. How do you think a prospective employer would react if you told him you thought you were a skunk? Honest to god people, real life first, furry life second. Priorities are important, dammit.

Am I saying stop being furry? Fuck no. God I LOVE being a furry. Best thing thats ever happened to me. It's brought me a new feeling of acceptance and love that I've never felt before, and it brought me to my wonderful boyfriend, Leon. But please people, learn to know when furryness is appropriate, and when to tell that nosey-ass reporter when to get the fuck off your front lawn and take her scrounging somewhere else. We don't need the sort of attention the media is giving us.


So now I ask you, how far do you take your furryness? Please be honest, I love all levels of furry, just so long as you don't go blabbing about it to CNN.

So I've been watching a load of vids on YouTube of recent and past furry events. I've noticed one thing about the talent shows and whatnot, THEY ALL DO THE SAME THINGS. Tsk, lack of originality FTL.

Anywho, I got to thinking to myself. When I attend my first US Furcon, which with any luck may be MFF 2K8 I want to go there and give the people something new, something fresh, something they haven't seen before, something that will make people go "hey! remeber that dreadlocked guy?"

As for WHAT this will be, I don't honestly know yet. However, I am a resourseful, extrovert, outlandish fellow with (nearly) a degree in English Language and a fierce determination for acceptance. I will think of something, something to shake things up a bit. Roll on 2008 *insert twisted grin*

3 questions 3 honest answers.



Bring.
It.
On.

ok, so here we go, firstly if you could choose to have the singing voice of ANY singer alive or dead, who would it be?

My vote goes to Neal Morse of Spock's Beard and Transatlantic fame. GAWD I LOOOOOVE HIS VOICE. I would dearly love to be able to sing like this guy

http://media.putfile.com/we-all-need-some-light


Secondly, if you could play the guitar like anyone, alive or dead, who would it be? I choose John Petrucci of Dream Theater and Liquid Tension Experiment, just listen to the solo halfway through this LIVE performance. OMFG.

http://media.putfile.com/hollow-years


that would kick so much ass its almost untrue

ok, yes, its my 3rd journal in about as many hours >_>

I just wanted to IMPLORE people to hunt down this song:

Dream Theater - Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence
A FORTY TWO MINUTE LONG MASTERPIECE

one of the greatest songs I have EVER heard

sing along:

She can't stop pacing
She never felt so alive
Her thoughts are racing
Set on overdrive

It takes a village
This she knows is true
they're expecting her
And she's got work to do

He helplessly stands by
It's meaningless to try
As he rubs his red-rimmed eyes
He says I've never seen her get this bad

Even though she seems so high
He knows that she can't fly
and when she falls out of the sky
He'll be standing by

She was raised in a small midwestern town
By a charming and eccentric loving father
She was praised as the perfect teenage girl
And everyone thought highly of her

And she tried everyday
With endless drive
To make the grade
Then one day
She woke up to find
The perfect girl
Had lost her mind

Once barely taking a break
Now she sleeps the days away
She helplessly stands by
It's meaningless to try
All she wants to do is cry
No one ever knew she was so sad

Cause even though she gets so high
And thinks that she can fly
She will fall out of the sky
But in the face of misery
She found hopefulness
Feeling better
She had weathered
This depression

Much to her advantage
She resumed her frantic pace
Boundless power
Midnight hour
She enjoyed the race

Napalm showers
Showed the cowards
We weren't there to mess around

Through heat exhaustion
And mind distortion
A military victory mounted on innocent ground

Hearing voices from miles away
Saying things never said
Seeing shadows in the light of the day
Waging a war inside my head

Years and years of
Bloodshed and warfare
Our mission was only to get in and kill

A free vacation
Of palmtrees and shrapnel
Trading innocence for permanent psychotic hell

Hearing voices from miles away
Saying things never said
Seeing shadows in the light of the day
Waging a war inside my head

Feeling strangers staring my way
Reading minds never read
Tasting danger with each word I say
Waging a war inside my head

Standing in the darkness
Waiting for the light
The smell of pure adrenaline
Burning in the night

Random blinding flashes
Aiming at the stage
Intro tape begins to roll
Igniting sonic rage

Still they keep me between these hollow walls
Hoping to find in me
The answers to the test that stumped them all

"The boy is simply crazy
Suffering from delusions
We honestly think that maybe
He might need an institution

He lives in a world of fiction
And really could use some help
We have just the place to fix him
To save him from himself"

Curled up in the darkness
Searching for the light
The smell of stale sweat and shit
Streaming through the night

Random urine testing
Pills red, pink and blue
Counseling and therapy
Providing not a clue

Still they keep me between these hollow walls
Hoping to find in me
The answers to the test that stumped them all

"We can't seem to find the answers
He seemed such a clear cut case
We cannot just let him leave here
And put all this work to waste

Why don't we try shock treatment
It really might do some help
We have just the tools to fix him
To save him from himself"

Goodnight kiss in your nightgown
Lavender in your bed
So innocent as you lie down
Sweet dreams that run through your head

Are you lonely without Mommy's love?
I want you to know I'd die for that moment
You're just a poor girl
Afraid of this cruel world
Taken away from it all

It's been 5 years to the day and
My tainted blood's still the same
I can't help acting this way and
Those bastard doctors are gonna pay

I'm so lonely without baby's love
I want you to know I'd die for one more moment
I'm just a poor girl
Afraid of this cruel world
Taken away from it all

He seemed no different from the rest
Just a healthy normal boy
His mama always did her best
And he was daddy's pride and joy

He learned to walk and talk on time
But never cared much to be held
and steadily he would decline
Into his solitary shell

As a boy he was considered somewhat odd
Kept to himself most of the time
He would daydream in and out of his own world
but in every other way he was fine

He's a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A temporary catatonic
Madman on occasion
When will he break out
Of his solitary shell

He struggled to get through his day
He was helplessly behind
He poured himself onto the page
Writing for hours at a time

As a man he was a danger to himself
Fearful and sad most of the time
He was drifting in and out of sanity
But in every other way he was fine

He's a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A momentary maniac
With casual delusions
When will he be let out
Of his solitary shell

I'm alive again
The darkness far behind me
I'm invincible
Despair will never find me

I feel strong
I've got a new sense of elation
Boundless energy
Euphoria fixation

Still it's hard to just get by
It seems so meaningless to try
When all I want to do is cry
Who would ever know I felt so sad

Even though I get so high
I know that I will never fly
And when I fall out of the sky
Who'll be standing by

Will you be standing by

She dresses in black everyday
She keeps her hair simple and plain
She never wears makeup
But no one would care if she did anyway

She doesn't recall yesterday
Faces seem twisted and strange
But she always wakes up
Only to find she'd been miles away

Absence of awareness
Losing time
A lapse of perception
Losing time

Wanting to escape
She had created a way to survive
She learned to detach from herself
A behavior that kept her alive

Hope in the face of our human distress
Helps us to understand the turbulence deep inside
That takes hold of our lives
Shame and disgrace over mental unrest
Keeps us from saving those we love
The grace within our hearts
And the sorrow in our souls
Deception of fame
Vengeance of war
Lives torn apart
Losing oneself
Spiraling down
Feeling the walls closing in
A journey to find
The answers inside
Our illusive mind



Jesus, the last 4 or so minutes....... EARGASM. The whole thing is a perfect example of how to make OUTSTANDING music. I would host it for you, but it's too big to put on any hosting site >_<

Whenever the subject of furryness and parents gets brought up, almost all furs say that their parents would kill/maim/alienate/exclude/hate/ban/be disgusted with them. Well quite frankly, I really don't see WHY they would.

I know that everyone's parents are different, but come on people. You'd be telling them you like anthropomorphic animals and like dressing up as them. It's not like you're telling them "Hey dad! Guess what? I like to masturbate to images of small boys being defecated on whilst Ronald McDonald touches himself in the background"

They're gonna be a bit weirded out, yes, but what do you expect? Put yourself in their position. But lets be honest, there are a HELL of a lot worse things you could tell them.

When all is said and done, being a furry really isn't that taboo. You like costuming and anthro art. OH NOEZ. Call the police.

Hmmm, not a bad rant there. OK, I'm not giving 2 a run for his money, but hey, a dragon's gotta start somewhere, M I RITE?

Ok, so I a few people noticed a couple of days ago that I was "occupied" when they tried to talk to me on msn, insofar that I was having an "animated discussion" with my father.

What went down was, he phoned me up, aked me when I was coming over to Belgium to visit, he was not pleased when I said I wouldn't be able to, due to my passport being re-newed and unlikely to arrive until after xmas, but that was not the big thing.

We moved on, and talk of my 21st hatchday turned up. He asked me what I wanted. I thought for a while and decided to tell him. After all, he's an open minded kind of guy, hell, you'd have to be to hook up with my step-mum XD

So I tells him that I want a fursuit, for him to send me the money and I'll order it myself. He is now convinced that I'm throwing my money away, and that I'm wasting what could be a really useful gift, blah blah blah etc etc. I told him that this is what I really want, but noooooooo, he's convinved that he's going to tell ME what I want for MY 21st. Fuck that. Fuck that with an iron stick. >_>

I don't think there'll be too much of a problem, after all, he understands now that its what I want, I just don't think I'll be showing it off to him any time soon :P

Well, me and Leon spent the weekend together again, we are officially going out (and have been for the past week now :D) I cannot put on paper (or computer screen >_< ) how much he means to me, and how wonderful it feels to be going out with another fur :D

We went to see the Tenacious D movie, which was FUCKING HILARIOUS btw (so go and see it now) and we were in a shop in Cardiff called The Natural World, and they were selling strap on animal tails! So I've bought myself a green and brown dinosaur tail, it looks really great, I'll take pics later so yous can all see it XD

Well, I reckon I'm going to give writing a shot. Not that this is going to be my first experience with writing, I didn't score 95% in creative writing in school without a reason y'know.

This will not be a yiffy story or a fatfur/inflation story, I am going to be taking quite a serious tone with this story. It will not be a sci-fi or a fantasy story either, I'm trying to go for a more original take on the idea of furry fiction.

The basic premise I'm going to go for is a modern day setting, furs (or Anthrahsians as I will refer to them as) have been part of life and society for as long as people existed. Just as humans evolved from apes, Anthrasians have evolved from all the other animals in the world. Their numbers are relatively few, and they are treated with typical racial minority contempt by the rest of conventional society.

Our lead character, Cym is a high-profie businessman, suited and booted and dreadlocked. He will be accused of the murder of Senator Peter Garrett, a politician who has been trying to enforce Anthrahsian registration, numbers burnt into their flesh etc.

Thats all that I'm going to reveal for now. I will be wanting to include some of you, my dear furs, in this story. Please don't post requests for inclusion here, I will note you if I would like to include you, and I will give you a brief outline of the character that I would like to have you play :)

I don't know when I will start work on this story, as I will have to fit it around coursework and artwork as well, but this isn't going to be some short story filler nonsense, I'm going for the 300 page novel approach here :D

So, keep your eye out for this one :)

Ok, let's put this out in the open, I am not a dragon, not a dragon. BUT I am now a KOMODO dragon. mmmkay? What will this mean? not a whole lot. The face will be elongated, and the wings are gonna be trimmed, but thats about it, I will still be the same red and orange scaly dreadlocked smoosher that you have come to love, just with a longer face and no wings :o

Why the change? Well, to be honest, I've just realised how much I adore these huge powerful lizards, and I feel I can feasably alter my species >_> without causing too much concern XD

So you may now refer to me as Cym The Komodo. Don't see many dreadlocked komodo's now, do you? ;)

ok ok, look people, enough with the cub porn thing. I don't like it, and I know a lot of you don't like it, but its here to stay. I don't care that much because I have it blocked on my filters, so to all those who are getting all drama queen "AI'M LEAVIN FA NAO" look at the bigger picture please. You don't HAVE to look at it, no ones making you, mmmkay?


Sorry to be bitchy, but I'm getting tired of people making a huge deal about it. Just block it with the filters fer chris'sake.

Yeah I know, I haven't drawn anything in a while, I've been absoloutely swamped with coursework and trying to meet deadlines etc etc. I've been trying to get my creative juices flowing, but I'm running on empty atm >_>

Larus, you're gonna be the next one to get the art treatment :D you've been a great bud, and you deserve a little something from me :D

Life is going on as it does, Wuff is coming over to my place this Thursday, so woohoo!! It's all about RL with me these days, I don't have a lot of time to spend online, which pisses me off, as there are alot of people I wanna talk to on msn, but as I said, my coursework is basically dominating my life these days.

Ah well, with any luck I should be free-er towards the beginning of december ^_^

Well, I was gonna drag my housemate to meet my furry buddies, but she was too busy shagging her new boyfriend XD

Anywhooooo, met up with Leon (or Wuff if you prefer) FourPaws, Kagura and CrazyWolf, we went and got food, saw Borat (funiest film EVAR) and played DDR at the local arcades, where Wuff and Kagura ruled the roost by a long long way :P

Went back to Kagura's place and had a merry old time XD Wuff is such a sweetheart, he really is, definitely the kind of fur I could fall for :D Got NO sleep whatsoever, my head was rested at an awkward angle that I couldn't correct lol. So as I type this I am in fact suffering from sleep deprivation XD

Ah well, I hope to meet up with Wuff again soon, he makes me feel so special when I'm around him, he really is wonderful. :) :)

I'm going for a mini furmeet, with about 4 or 5 other furs from the halloween meet, but one of my housemates wants to come along, LOL. In all fairness now, she's studied anthropology, and I think she may be interested in doing a study on us furs >_< Whatever happens, I'm gonna make sure she doesn't forget tomorrow XD

well, ok, 999.

But its close enough!

*parties*

I told me straight-edged housemates that I'm a fur, I held nothing back and opened up a whole can of crazy O_o

Shockingly, they're ok with it. I don't think they really understand it, but they said that they're glad I told them, as it means that I'm more likely to be ME from now on.

So I'm now wearing my furry feet, and my newly purchased collar with impunity. And YES, I WILL be wearing my collar to my lectures XD mwahahahaha!! :P

Wow, just got back from the furmeet about a half hour ago, and what can I say? It FUCKING ROCKED!!!!

This has been the most fun I've ever had in my life. Ever. Ever ever ever ever. We all met up at Cardiff train station at 11am, from there we went and had cofffee, which took up a couple of hours, from there we went bowling and arcading (DDR machine was bust though :( )

Had lunch at KFC (and got some VERY funny looks XD) and went back into Cardiff city centre where we all went to see Click, t'was good, but made all the better by us all snuggling up to each other ^_^

After that we went to the pub, but left because some were underage and were thrown out, which sucked >_<

Milled around Cardiff for a while, said our goodbyes, and went home. I'll be uploading some choice pics later, which should spell out the madness better than my crappy words, lol


FURMEETS ROCK!!!!

Ok, so I was telling one of my housemates that I'm gonna be outta the house all day tomorrow, she asks why, and I tell her "I'm meeting with some friends" SO her being the enquiring mind that she is asks "how do you know them"

Now frantic, I mumble that they're friends from Ireland coming over for the day, she still wants to come. I basically tell her that they're "quite cliquey, you probably wouldn't enjoy it" She seems to have backed down, but I think she suspects something.

I sent the following to her in a text message: Heya. About tomorrow. I don't want you to think I'm pushing you away by not wanting you there. There is a reason, nothing to do with you. Will explain when I get back from it, it'll be quite difficult for me to explain so you'll have to beara with me.

Soooo, looks like I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and tell her about my furryness. Question is, how should I go about doing so?

Hmmmmmm.