so after 7 years, my tablet's finally giving out, though I do think it may just be the cord. Or, I hope so at least.
It started acting funny after I woke up to it being knocked onto the floor some time in the night, so I hope it's just the cord, and not the little port where the cord goes into it.
Woof... here's hoping!! Very glad that I don't have any commissions queued up regardless.

So, if you don't see much past traditional doodles from me for a while, this is why

As mentioned before, now that my commission queue is empty, I'm going to be taking a brief break from commissions to recharge and hopefully be able to jump back into any new ones with revitalized vigor and not take as long as I took this time around.

I MIGHT make an exception for texture commissions once I've had a few days to myself, but we'll see. I'm just very tired and my head is very tumultuous right now, so it's better off if I just take it easy and take some hardcore me-time.

commission work has had to stop while i recuperate. ill be back to work in a few days. im sorry.

Work-wise, I finished a texture commission that's been oddly difficult for me so now I can focus on chewing through the rest of my queue.
It'll still be slow going, as I don't want to burn myself out, but progress will be made!

Personal-wise, we had to put one of our cats down a few days ago.
It was very emotional, and something happened at the emergency vets that made me flash back to the night we had to put my dog down, so that was pretty miserable.
I've been reconnecting with my irl circle of local pals though, so my housemates and I had a group of supportive friends to fall into after that ordeal, which was... really nice.
I'm used to just kind of withdrawing into myself when I should be reaching out for support, so it was odd but really appreciated and... again, nice.

They're a really good group of people... I've known them all since elementary/middle school at the longest, and highschool at the latest (aside from my brother's fiancee, but it feels like I've known her for ages at this point... and of course I've known my brother his entire life so!)
We've all been through a LOT together, there's been some really awful downs and even fights between us over the years, but it's nice to be able to finally have healthy relationships that can like... actually bounce back from even the biggest mistakes because we're all adults and we all really care about each other enough to work things out properly.

Aside from that, my sleep schedule's been hell again. Bleh...
I've been locked out of my twitter as well, so that's been a surprisingly big issue for me, but I'll get things sorted out one way or another.

That's all for now.
Take care of yourselves!

For prices, examples, (updated) TOS, etc: https://d0zeoff.weebly.com/

I will be taking the following of each depending on how many of what is ordered.

Full Commission slot: (available)
Experimental Commission slot: filled

Custom Design slot: (available)

full chibi slot: taken
chibi icon slot: (available)

dooble slot: filled
dooble slot: filled
dooble slot: filled
dooble slot: (available)
dooble slot: (available)
dooble slot: (available)
dooble slot: (available)
dooble slot: (available)
dooble slot: (available)
dooble slot: (available)

Bear in mind I am in currently constant pain, so wait times will be longer than usual. Thank you in advance for your patience.

If you plan on ordering one, I recommend emailing me at contact.d0zeoff[at]gmail.com with reference material, what you want, AND your paypal e-mail so I can give you a price quote and see if you're happy with that as quickly as possible.

It sure was.

I have some important things I need to save up for, including a refill on my meds (which is going to be about 80$ since I'm not on healthcare any more, rip), so if you're interested in commissioning me, now would be realy helpful. qwq

I'm pushing my 25$ chibi icons and 30$ full chibis currently, but I have cheaper options also, I just can't use the brushes I used to use for some of them (like the 15$ MonHun icons and emblem icons and 5$ doodles)
Any bit helps, really!

I locked myself out of my account on accident, sorry about that!!

I'm back in now though, so I can go back to posting as usual :D

I wanted to take a longer commission break, but I want some money to spoil myself with a bit, so I'm willing to take on any commissions in the 15$ and/or under price tiers, that AREN'T pixel commissions
https://d0zeoff.weebly.com/

wait times will most likely be much longer than I usually like to make them, just cause I'm still kind of burnt out, but as always I will try to get any commissions done as soon as possible.

I've hit a serious bout of burnout recently, and there's been a lot of little things weighing me down irl that are making it worse.
Commissions won't be entirely closed, but after I finish this last commission in my queue I need to take a serious break for myself, so anyone interested in comms from here on out will be put on a waitlist for when I'm fully refreshed and able to work at my normal pace again!

My big birthday trip is now over and while I already miss all three of my goodgood pals dearly, it's good to be back in my own room. My rats and my cat are extremely happy to have me back too. <:]

I have one last commission in my queue that I need to finish up (though I am waiting on some details from my client) and while money isn't as dire a need as it was while I was away, I can always use money for food and rat treats, so if anyone is still interested in commissions, I have some open slots

Heading to  GoldByt's tomorrow, so my "vacation" is almost over. I've still got commissions I'll be working on my downtime as usual, of course, but I'll be taking this weekend off from that since I've got a decent workload and can use a break- plus I'll be trying to settle in at Lore's. I'll only be at his place for a week before I return to  Mizby's and Chuck's place, but I'll be heading back home shortly after that.

I don't remember/know how many customers I got from FA, but I can't thank those of you who've bought from me enough! These commissions have been a HUGE help so far with paying for my meals, hopefully I won't have to pile even more on top of my current orders, but I'm still always down for taking more as long as wait times aren't an issue. I might be more strapped for time once I'm in NY, but it'll only be fore a week, so!

Man, it feels like May went by way too fast... I guess that's what spending time with good company does though. This upcoming week is probably going to go by before I can even savor it, but I'll enjoy all the time I'll be spending with my best friend 100%! Just hope my head stays on right and doesn't try to hit me with weird conflicted grief shit again.

Anyhow, happy pride month!! Take care, everyone!

Remember the trip I mentioned trying to save for in the last few journals? I'm leaving for it today!
I'll be spending the rest of this month with my two close pals Mischa and Charles, and then in June I'll be spending a week with my best bud  GoldByt
This SHOULD NOT stop me from taking on and completing commission work, however!

I don't really have anything queued for here, but I do have a personal commission and a trade piece I still need to complete, so those will take priority once I've settled in. After that though, I can start any other commissions anyone else ends up ordering, just be aware that I'll be spending time with friends, so there's no guarantee that my work speed will be as fast as it normally is. I appreciate the patience in advance!


Regardless, I'm super looking forward to this trip! My pals mean a lot to me, and any time I get to see them is a good time.
It's still a month away, but I'll be at Lore's place during his birthday, which is awesome because I could afford a proper gift for him this year all on my own. I'm really excited to see what he thinks of it, as I've kept it pretty hush-hush save for a few hints earlier on. (I asked him his preferences on some things, so if he puts two-and-two together, it shouldn't be too hard for him to sleuth his gift out. xP )
AAA!!! I'M EXCITED!!

I'm preparing to leave for a month, so workflow may slow down again. I should be able to work while I'm away, as I'll be bringing my laptop and tablet, but I have a lot of preparations I'm trying to get out of the way before I leave to make things easier on everyone.

Just figured I'd give a heads up!

Hey, if you wanna help me save up for an upcoming trip, please definitely feel free to commission me!
I'm currently focusing on 10$ Monster Hunter Style icons and 15$ Chibis but as always, I have other options available!

While I currently have enough for the tickets themselves, I could absolutely use more money to cover meals and snacks and subway cards so I won't be a big burden on my pals.
I would really appreciate the help!

How much do fursuit heads usually cost? What about paws/arms?
I can't buy one right now, but I definitely want to buy one in the future.

I'd love to fullsuit, but I think a partial is more realistic for me for now.

please let me know if you've started your half or not

I'm feeling overloaded and grief is making things hard to do in a timely manner again, so unless you've already started/finished your half, I'm gonna have to cancel our trade so I can focus on commissions and just staying afloat

I'm very very sorry for the inconvenience, if your half is already started though, I'll do what I can to finish mine (it just may take a while longer)

I have some art trades that I'll be working on so I can't take on any new ones right now, but afterward if I still don't have any commissions or YCHs to work on, I'll probably offer to take more, for those interested.

In the meantime, for those I'm currently trading with, I'm experiencing some pain that's making staying out of bed hard, so my halves may take a lil while longer than I'd normally like. I will definitely be getting things done though, just once the pain meds I gotta take leave my system. (They mess with my fine motor skills, so I don't wanna give anyone shitty art trade halves qq )

I'm pretty quiet, and while I try my best to reply to comments and be active here, I just struggle with this kind of stuff inherently...
If I get back to you late or anything, I promise it's nothing against you or anything.

Lately, especially, I've just been struggling to function on a social level. All I want to do is keep my hands busy, and watch stuff or play games between work.
I don't like voicing when I'm not doing well publicly, but the past few days have been miserable emotionally for me, just because I keep getting hit with waves of grief.
Woke up from a dream inside a dream, where in both of them, my mom walked back into the house like nothing had happened, even though in the dreams it definitely seemed like she had died. Like she'd pulled some elaborate and prank on us, but we were too happy to see her again to care about how horribly cruel a joke it actually was.

Obviously, when I finally woke up for real, she didn't come back.
To add insult to injury, when I checked the mail today, there was a letter addressed to her.

I keep beating myself up for still being so hurt by this, but like... it's only just hit the one month mark by now I think, like that's not a lot of time at all.
I don't know why I feel like I have to push and rush myself into recovering ASAP from every single thing that hits me. That's unhealthy, and it's gonna hurt me in the longrun if I keep that up.

Blegh... I'd be sorry for venting or "being emo" or whatever, but I'm a human and I'm allowed to feel emotions.
I'm allowed to be devastated by losing someone who was important and close to me.

I'm trying so hard not to wallow or let it get in my way, but sometimes you just have to take some time to slow down and just. Let everything out so when you pick yourself back up afterward, you feel even just the slightest bit less heavy. Y'know?

All the commission work I took up recently is done, but I'll try and pull myself out of this enough to hopefully get some stuff to upload. I have a few ref sheets I wanna make, and I remember having some personal projects I wanted to get on top of starting, as well.

are open again finally

I managed to pull myself up and get work on my final commission done. I'm normally SO much better about getting work done in a timely manner, and I know I have a good reason for being brought to a stand-still, but I still feel ashamed of myself for making clients wait as long as I have.
They've all been very patient and understanding, and I can't thank them enough for that, but still!! I have to do better...


My plans after I finish this batch are to try and take on some experimental commissions, but I may take a small break first just to make sure I don't burn myself out, and to touch on some personal projects I've been putting off for a while now.

I think I'm finally starting to cope better with my loss.
As I mentioned in the last journal, my mom meant a lot to me.
Things weren't always great between us, due to certain personal factors I will not go into, but eventually she reconciled with everyone she hurt and we could all finally be a family again.
My entire immediate family and I have been through so much with her... we used to call ourselves the most lucky unlucky family. Guess our luck ran out this time.
I still find it incredibly unfair that she was taken away like this. It's just... bullshit, you know? She fought so hard to overcome the acute lymphoblastic leukemia, only to get knocked back down by pneumonia and just...

I still hate it. I hate that I'm never going to see her again.
But I'm glad she got to travel with friends before the ALL clipped her wings. I'm glad she could be part of a family that loves her to the end and beyond. She mended the bonds between all of us, she got to have friends who love her, and she passed on surrounded by those very people. Even if some of us were bawling our eyes out, she left knowing she was well-loved. Her best friend even traveled all the way down from Canada to be there.

She was one of the strongest people I've ever known. She always... tried So Hard. All the time. And she knew how to put a smile on peoples' faces, or calm down even the most stubborn person.
She was the sort of person who, no matter what, would always be there for you.
n I'm really... really gonna miss her. I already do.

I'm still mourning, I still have moments where it just hits me all at once, but I'm starting to function outside of the highs again.
I'll try and get back on the ball here soon, especially now that my laptop is back in working order.

Not to be dramatic or whatever, but my mom passed away last night

Sorry if I'm slow, quiet, etc for a while after, I'm extremely exhausted after everything, and my mom meant a lot to me

I don't particularly want condolences, I don't want want to talk to anyone about it,
I just want to recover from this and let people know why I may be particularly out of it for a while.

I'll be fine, I just need some time is all.
I'm very sorry for the inconvenience.

Sorry for the long silence, my laptop is down for the count until my replacement fan finally arrives.
It basically froze me in time for a while, but I've managed to figure out a work-around for now.

Unfortunately my mom's been hospitalized in icu since a little before Christmas so things haven't been great irl.
Progress on anything is going to be slow for a while, since a lot of my attention is gonna be on my family.

In more pleasant news though, my brother let me adopt two of his rats, and I put money down for a third rat once she's big enough.
My cat's horribly jealous any time she sees me give them attention.


I'm very tired...

https://toyhou.se/D0ZEoff/characters/folder:206999

It's not much right now, but!
If anything catches your eye, please let me know and we can work something out!