Sometimes I worry I will never be able to kill the perfectionist that lives inside of me but I think I don't give myself enough credit at times. I have drawn messy for awhile now when before I tore myself down and gave up on drawings when it wasnt exactly perfect. I suppose sometimes I still feel as though there is more to come, but i've trapped myself with the idea that I will never be able to get where I want even though I have started that journery. I guess I find it funny, I make comms and adopts but want to sell my art to be messy and ugly. Isnt that counterproductive>? I ask myself, "Who will want my art when it looks like this." but. I have heard from my friends who tell me they love the way I draw, they love the messy look they love the stickers the paint the stratches. Being told someone would buy my traditional art or if I'd ever scan it and sell...They are reminders that I am getting somewhere. There is hope despite how I have sold myself the idea that there is no hope nor no way to come out of the hole I seemingly dug. I will continue to draw bad, I think its good for me.

Kinda curious if other people feel the same or can at least relate. Does anyone sometimes when they have artblock start feeling like....really shit? I noticed that if im really struggling to draw even if I want to I just begin to feel really miserable...It sucks cuz I have ideas and again I want to draw but when I try I find myself so frustrated. And before anyone says well just take a break I already am doing that by default just by not drawin/not bein able to draw. I wish I was someone who could just pump out drawings all the time without much struggle but its so bad to where now my mood really begins to twindle when I can't just draw the stuff I want..

Guess im curious to see if people can relate to an extent or get what I mean... I adore drawing and its my passion but god man.

I assume its school since it fries my ability or want to sketch or write but jesus christ. I used to be able to doodle a hella lot more in my younger years

I was talking to a friend on call a night ago and I was ranting to them about art and writing. I've struggled for years to really get to a point with my art where im happy with it. Lots of reasons, lots of things I don't think I need to put here. I think it's interesting that sometimes, I can't let myself write or draw the way I truly love because of this mentality that it must be some way or another. Why should I care of what others think when I don't create for them? I draw traditional because it makes me happy, I draw furries, I make it messy, I add stickers and paint and use all sorts of stuff because I want to. Why forbid myself simply because I believed in a rule that never existed to begin with? This idea that art must be one way for it to be valued has been built off pure greed when it has always been more than that. Art should be something you do because you are passionate. Now i know many do it for a living, to help keep them up afloat and I do not see them differently, many of these people have pride in what they make, but so many also hate what they do because of it. Why should I change the way I write because of what others have said? Why should I care when at the end of the day its what I create? My art nor my writing will ever be perfect but I shape it to what best represents me. I layer drawings and I fill my writing with poetry and metaphors. I made my art to be ruined because I was sick of something so clean. I say this to say that it should always be something you enjoy. Guidelines are just there to help you through moments, they are not rules you must tie yourself to. There will always be room for improvement but thats something you can do when you are ready. I think I struggled to accept that for so long--and I'm still working on it now. Be free