FYI there is a raffle going on by  Shade-the-split-wolf
Get your character in a free art piece ^^
Rules and info are here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5091910/

Had a fun day today away from the computer doing team building at work.
We went to the Lake District which is a national park in the UK and did orienteering, canoing and raft building and racing xD

I am now totally shattered and my feet hurt lol, 3 hours walking up and down mountains and roads looking for things lol.
Canoing was fun paddling was hard though ^^ Just really a fun day and I forgot what its like to be reaaaaaaaaaly tried :3

Depressed again yay, thankfully its not the severe depression I had at the beginning of the year but atm I dont know everything in life is just meh.
There are still the small little things and wonderful people who can change my mood it seems, im thankful for that but right now I dont feel like me.
Depressive me and normal me seem like two different people, its bloody weird tbh.
I just feel like a dark cloud is hanging over me and all I seem to want to do is sleep and loose myself in TV and movies or music.

I do seem to get like this every so often it seems, hate it tbh.
So if im not talky not posting much or just generally not myself this is the reason.
Im hoping ill feel better soon, maybe my holiday will fix me not had one since April.

But right now I just feel like the world hates me and has it against me grrrrr. I hope depressive me goes back in his box soon.

Well I popped over to my friends last night and we had a bit of a gaming session xD

Started off playing Magika, awesome game if you havent played it anyway we were playing the stars are left dlc and after about 100+ attempts we finally defeted Cuthulu haha wooooooo.

Then started playing Minecraft, we have like a netherportal network that allows very fast travel to new unxeplored areas in our world, sort of like a stargate system lol. Anyway I decided to build another mountain house in this new area.
But first we decided to spawn a Wither Boss, I was like spawn him here ontop of the mountain it will be fine. Omg how wrong I was o.0
You spawn him by creating a T shape from sould sand and placing 3 wither skulls ontop.
We did that and then his heath bar appeared and he bagan spawning, when he got to full health he flew up into the air and my friend tried to attack him with a sword and it did nothing.

Then there were fireballs coming at us left right and center from all three of his heads hahaha, we are running round the top of the mountain while the wither boss leveled it lol. He killed us both and now lives around the mountain waiting for unsuspecting people lol.

We thought he despawned apparently not o.0

Fun times lol.

Friend posted this and I thought I would do the same as im half asleep lol.
Dont think anyone knows me this well but here goes.

~What if~
● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalised:

~What do you think about my~
● Personality:
● Eyes:
● Hair:
● Family:
● Smile:

~Would you~
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if I told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?

~Have you ever ~
● Lied to make me feel better?
● Wanted to kiss me?
● Wanted to kill me?
● Broke my heart?
● Thought I was unbearably annoying?
● Hated me?
● Wanted to tell me something but didn't?
● Wondered about my sanity?
● Wanted to do something to me?

~More ~
● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?

Well payday happened and I may have gone a little overboard lol.
Bought so many new clothes, I so need a payrise >.<

Here is what I bought ^^

http://www.topman.com/en/tmuk/product/clothing-140502/spray-on-skinny-1908792/charcoal-studded-spray-on-skinny-jeans-2142414?bi=1&ps=20
http://www.topman.com/en/tmuk/product/clothing-140502/mens-hoodies-sweatshirts-2179526/criminal-damage-skinny-hoody-1829700?bi=181&ps=20
http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&langId=-1&storeId=12555&catalogId=33056&parent_categoryId=&categoryId=&productId=10989476
http://www.officersclub.com/men-s-t.....-up-hoody.html
Wanted some plain hoodies.

http://www.dogfunk.com/kr3w-k-skinn.....W0gRml0OjI6MTE
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MENS-ZICO.....r=550200283123 in burgundy

http://www.hm.com/gb/product/07807?article=07807-A
http://www.hm.com/gb/product/06643?article=06643-A Already have a pair of these but I love them so I got some more.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008TNF0.....986871_TE_item
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DTNZU.....986871_TE_item

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008HE9P.....986871_TE_item Not clothes but I wanted it ^^

Omg writing all that down makes it seem even worse o.0

Right now im hoping for a thunderstorm, why you ask. Because I love them xD
Sadly I dont think im going to get one booooo.

Well it started off with a lovely shower after work.
Then spaghetti bolognese for tea and watched an episode of fringe and now I'm on my guitar learning the James Bond theme tune xD yay for YouTube haha.

Not been on my laptop all night and for me that's good whoooo, yay ipad lol.

Damn you work in the morning you always spoil my fun ^^

[x] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the opposite sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x]watched porn
[ ] bought porn
[x] tried drugs [my friend suggested i try weed, i ended up coughing a lot lol. Maybe cakes would be better ^^]
TOTAL: 8

[x] taken painkillers
[ ] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend [thoes little lies you tell people not to hurt them]
[ ] snuck out of the house
[ ] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone [I have a high tolerance but sometimes I loose it]
[x] gotten into a fight
[ ] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die.
TOTAL: 14

[x] missed curfew
[ ] stayed out all night
[ ] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[ ] dyed your hair
[ ] been in an accident
[x] been to a club
[x] been to a bar
TOTAL: 18

[ ] been to a wild party.
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[ ]sniffed anything
[ ] wore black nail polish
[ ] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap [Not my favourite music lol]
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD
TOTAL: 21

[ ] dressed gothic
[ ] dressed lolita
[x] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[ ] dressed grunge
[ ] stole something
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything
[ ] blacked out
[ ] fainted
[ ] laughed at someones pain
[ ] had a crush on a neighbor
TOTAL: 23

[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert.
[x] dry-humped someone
[ ] been called a slut
[ ] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in your car
[ ] broken a mirror
[ ] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[ ] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
TOTAL: 26

[ ] considered Ludicrous your favorite rapper
[ ] seen an R-rated movie in theater
[ ] cruised on mail
[ ] skipped school
[ ] had surgery
[x] had an injury [Fell off my skateboard when I was younger, sort of broke a tooth on a stone flag xD Fixed now but my god did it hurt.]
[ ] gone to court
[x] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[x] caught something on fire
[ ] lied about your age
TOTAL: 29

[x] owned/rented an apartment/house [uni flat that was awesome xD]
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence
[ ] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[ ] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[ ] hugged a stranger
[ ] licked a stranger
[x] been verbally harassed
[ ] been physically harassed
TOTAL: 32

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[ ] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[ ]been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[ ] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[ ] cheated on a test
TOTAL: 37

GRAND TOTAL: 37

Apparently im a bad influence xD haha.
Thanks  Nicnak044 for finding this ^^

If You Have Less Than 10...Write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10...Write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 20...Write [I'm bad kid]
If You Have More Than 30...Write [I'm a bad influence]
If You Have More Than 40...Write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have More Than 50...Write [I should be in jail]
If you have More Than 60...Write [I should be shot]
If You Have More Than 70...Write [I should be dead]

Had a fun week clothes shopping wise xD
It's been like Christmas lol.

Got a new black denim shirt a black and white tie dye tee and some awesome new black skinny jeans got them this morning and omg I love them so stretchy and comfy xD

These are them, was a little unsure if the length was too short but I took a chance and I'm glad I did hehe.
http://tablet.hm.com/gb/product/066.....rticle=06643-A

May have a full length mirror to show off my new clothes soon yay ^^ normally don't like mirrors but I guess I'm becoming more happy slowly at least.

Can't spend anything on clothes though got a lot going out on my new car atm, but yay new car.
Mood wise im mellow atm missing someone I care about but still mellow most of the time hehe.

I have ordered some faux fur and I'm going to attempt to make myself some hand paws xD I remember being quite good at textiles at high school lets see if I remember anything hehe.

End of ramblings :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDcHKZDCXHI

Must practice more on my guitar haha.

Okies first to all thoes who I have promised stories or sketches to, sorry for the dealys and bear with me :)
Im a busy bee atm with work and other things including learning the guitar again. I will get round to them I promise just may take me a little time.
Just bought a new guitar and ill probably post some piccys when I get it hehe.

Currently im sweltering in the heat we have been having in the UK, thankfully its cooled down a bit but I think its gettiing hotter during the week again.
Thank god the office has air con hehe.

Another thing I want to try is make my own hand paws with sleeves xD I really want to do this and I may give it a go :)
Been looking at some guides thanks to what someone mentioned and it looks fairly straight forward ^^
So yeh im excited to attempt that actually hehe.

My emotions are nice atm, like really nice ive not been this stable in ages :)
Im giddy and happy most of the time and its a lovely change of pace.

Think I may get an early night and walk to work again tomorrow sounds like a nice idea :)

Anyways end of rambings ^^

Ok so this is where I live, I grew up in Whittle-le-Woods though.
Im in a ghosty mood and decided to see if I could find any stories in Leyland and omg this is bloody freaky o.0
I have been in this church too and walked through the cemetary...
I have been in this pub too once I think ^^ I so want to go hunt some ghosts right now lol.

Stone Carrying Cat

Location: Leyland - St Andrews church
Type: Legend
Date / Time: Twelfth century
Further Comments: Locals in the nearby village of Whittle-le Woods wanted to build a church, but night after night their stones vanished and reappeared in Leyland. Two villagers stood guard one evening, and watched as a large black cat picked up the stones and carried them away. One of the men tried to fight the cat off, but the creature killed him. The villagers gave in and built the church where it stands today.

---

Arabelle?

Location: Leyland - Ley Inn
Type: Haunting Manifestation
Date / Time: December 2007
Further Comments: A ghost hunting group videoed a table that violently moved as they attempted to contact the spirits that haunt the inn. They contacted a spirit named Arabelle, who claimed to have been murdered by James Silcock, who in turn was killed by Arabelle's father.

Totally love this band atm, heard them listening to ZM which is a radio station in New Zealand, yay for the internet lol.

Hot Chelle Rae <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI_s0rM_PZY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9pWgjSLLag

Just been to see it in IMAX 3D was amazing :)
I love loosing myself in a film when im a bit emotional.
There was an aweful lot of destruction imo but lots of the film had me tearing up, I dont know if its because im still a bit sensitive but honestly it was lovely feeling the emotions of the characters so much. Loved the film and I really hope there is a sequel :)

For any fans of Indiana Jones you may like this xD

Metal + Indy = Win imo ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjCmgf8SxBA

First off its one of my all time favourite games I used to play on the PS one xD
I remember walking down corridors and having the oh shit moment with lickers and then the holy crap with nemesis lol.

When the films first came out I was like awesome and the first 3 were good then they seemed to loose their way and it went crazy imo.
I just watched Resident Evil Retribution finally and wow I actually loved it. I wasent holding out hope for it hence my delay in watching it but well it was a fun ride :)

I think my favourite off all of them is the second film and I love the trailer for it ^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tnMznaF4Yc

http://www.youtube.com/youtubeuk?fe.....ure=inp-yo-gy3

LGBT pride is such a wonderful thing and makes me happy :)

Well yes I may be a little up and down and it seems I have to be very careful with my emotions or I get depressed easily 'sigh'
Im a bit better now thankfully, spoke to my mum and my friend at work I guess they help but they dont understand. My mum just accepts she doesnt feel what I feel. Hell even I think its weird lol, I dont think I should form emotional bonds this quickly but thankfully its rare. But I guess its nice to feel so much for people :) My friend just thinks im a little weird lol, I talk about emotions and feelings a lot with him hehe, but hes nice to talk to :)

You know what helps like really helps me, Michael Buble its so strange but any of his songs just sort of calms me and soothes me and puts life in perspective for me xD
This is just amazing too ^^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6TKpkY4WcM seriously watch hehe.

Well I overslept and I was late for work today lol whoops stupid alarm. Making up the time tomorrow oh well lol.
I also had no internet last night tried to get it back 3 times but it was slower than dial up boooo, so I thought oh well time for catch up tv ^^

Haha got to love the doctor and im not on about the timelord variety here lol
Such an awesome character from an awesome series, I may have to rewatch it at somepoint soon hehe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQo0fBzMO8Y

So thinking of buying all the 11 doctors episodes right now lol.
May do when I get paid, he really did grow on me :)

Plus this scene was amazing, beautiful and made me cry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ2QGt5U7PI (Spoilers sweetie ^^ Dont watch if you havent seen the rings of akhaten)

Sort of pondering atm if I should just vent my inner most thoughts and feelings into a journal atm.
It may help me, usually does all day ive felt like I was going to explode and cry at someone, left an hour early and now im back home cuddled up next to my raccoon plush with my lava lamp on and just enjoying the smell of some olbas oil as im a bit stuffy.

I get like this sometimes quite a lot actually, im just such a complicated person. I get upset when I shouldnt or rather it takes only slight things to upset me most times. In truth, I would love to meet someone. Someone who I can love and be loved back, it seems to never happen for some reason or another, now I dont blame anyone here I just need to get this out of my head. If anything I blame my own stupid emotions, im too sensitive no one really understands how much I dont think but well I feel like I experience the world 10x more intense then most other people. I dont know if its good or bad anymore.
Its funny im saying all this, I dont know why I am and im sort of picturing a scene from dr who again atm while saying this lol. I guess it was a good scene where the doctor pours his heart out too.

Honestly ive been though a lot, ive had lots of events in my life some amazing some aweful. Even nearly died once falling into a quarry, thankfully one of the older kids grabbed my arm as I was slipping in.
Ive had emotional times with my parents divorce that was hard but now its not so bad I guess time heals all wounds but I do remember the shouting and im glad they split up as I may not have the relationship with them I do now.
I honestly miss high school, college and uni. All were awesome in their own special way, especially college watching episodes of house and smallville and lost in our hours between lessons. To the crazy experiments in chemestry so many funny moments there.

The me back then was different though, I got depressed a lot still do sometimes I feel like I am always skirting the edges but some days im so giddy im bouncing off the walls. I guess we all have our off days mine seem to cripple me though and I need quiet and solitude in my room to cope seems to help somehow. Maybe the world is too busy for me, I know im always on edge outside in town and city centres, but if im in a park or something its like all my cares wash away.

Ive even been through some crazy things recently, like it caused me immense heart ache and I couldnt cope at work or anything. It was nothing to do with me really but a friend I met. You see they had two personalities, one male and one female and they wanted the female in control all the time. I came to really love the male personality as I tend to with most of my friends but this sort of broke any control I had on my emotions which I used to repress so not good. But anyway I broke down crying about what they wanted, I saw it like dying as when one was in control the other was asleep and I just couldnt understand who would want that. I did also love the female personality of my friend but she saw herself as totally seperate and an individual person in her own right. She wasent nasty she was lovely to me and helped me most times but still I went though greiving and constant fear if I had lost my friend. That was a few months ago now and well they are one personality which im really happy about I can see both when they talk to me and its lovely.

That trauma broke me and who I was hoenstly, I feel like a new person im so different than I used to be. I never before liked writing or drawing that much tbh. I love new music and new things like cooking and baking. It seems the old me broke and im the new me from the pieces. Honestly im happier now than before I feel so much more alive. I just have a lot of emotional ups and downs it seems lol.

But I have been through a lot and I seem to have a lot on my mind tonight and I just need to post all this as I need to let it out and not bottle it up.

Life to me is fun and hard and depressing all at the same time. Oh lol this was meant to be a quick post asking if I should post this but apparently my subconcious wants me to. I guess I want to find that special someone, I have for a long time. I just want to show how much love I have to give but it seems I fall down everytime and I dont know what to do any more. 'sigh'

Thanks for reading if anyone actually reads this wall of text. I think ill go sleep for a bit. *cuddles up to his raccoon*

Danny

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me.

Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me.

Leave the men where they lay
They'll never see another day
Lost my soul, lost my dream
You can't take the sky from me.

I feel the black reaching out
I hear its song without a doubt
I still hear and I still see
That you can't take the sky from me.

Lost my love, lost my land
Lost the last place I could stand
There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity

And you can't take the sky from me.

Fun clip too for all you Nathan Fillion fans xD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q3pdj9p6yI

Sorry ive not posted in a while, im currently snowed under with work atm finished at 9pm tonight lol.
I did get a free dominoes pizza from my boss though so that was cool :)

I have started on the sequal to my last story and I will try and get some time to finish it, im working this weekend too but ill try and fit it in :)