Life is a shit sandwich
Posted a year agoIt's been awhile since I've treaded about here and for good reason.
After having another mental breakdown with no "Friends" there to assist nor even notice. Through another stint of therapy, leaving my wife who I'd spent the majority of my life with being conditioned by to believe that somehow i was at fault. I was always at fault like some of the "Friends" here and yonder also renenfourcing this conditioning to make me feel as if I had some how done them wrong. To turn their back on me the very moment I should mention something they didn't agree with or got butt hurt over after years of "Friendship"....I finally began to unravel all of bullshit I've been fed by so many, the mental abuse I have suffered at the hands of those who claimed to care or even go so far as to insinuate they loved me. Such lies. But through the continued conditioning of the weak and broken they could successfully make one believe that somehow they were at fault for ending their "friendship", a "Friendship" that never really ever existed at all. One that was created out of pain then exploited for gain of some satisfaction that only they could understand. It's truly amazing just how much one is being manipulated and used without ever noticing it until they step back and look in from the outside.
I've been broken and used by so many and yet despite all their efforts I've only grown stronger and learned to identify who they are and how they have contorted the reality of our relationship for their gain alone. These people should feel shame for what they've done and possibly continue to do to other's under the same guies.
Yes I have changed, I have begun to truly see those for who they are and the pain and suffering they have happily brought onto me. For them I only wish that they too may suffer as I have at their paws. To believe that everything, every hurt, every argument and disagreement will be placed square upon their shoulders and that they to can suffer as they have me. That they too can see and feel the wasted year's resulting from their lies and conditioning only to be told, no made to believe that this illusion of friendship ever existed and that they've been played the fool all along for another's enjoyment.
I hope that if there is a place of suffering you'll find a home there and learn to enjoy it just as you have done to me. Hell would be a pleasant vacation from the suffering you have bestowed upon myself. I hate no one but I feel no sympathy for those who have placed this burden upon me.
Suffer as I have and enjoy!
After having another mental breakdown with no "Friends" there to assist nor even notice. Through another stint of therapy, leaving my wife who I'd spent the majority of my life with being conditioned by to believe that somehow i was at fault. I was always at fault like some of the "Friends" here and yonder also renenfourcing this conditioning to make me feel as if I had some how done them wrong. To turn their back on me the very moment I should mention something they didn't agree with or got butt hurt over after years of "Friendship"....I finally began to unravel all of bullshit I've been fed by so many, the mental abuse I have suffered at the hands of those who claimed to care or even go so far as to insinuate they loved me. Such lies. But through the continued conditioning of the weak and broken they could successfully make one believe that somehow they were at fault for ending their "friendship", a "Friendship" that never really ever existed at all. One that was created out of pain then exploited for gain of some satisfaction that only they could understand. It's truly amazing just how much one is being manipulated and used without ever noticing it until they step back and look in from the outside.
I've been broken and used by so many and yet despite all their efforts I've only grown stronger and learned to identify who they are and how they have contorted the reality of our relationship for their gain alone. These people should feel shame for what they've done and possibly continue to do to other's under the same guies.
Yes I have changed, I have begun to truly see those for who they are and the pain and suffering they have happily brought onto me. For them I only wish that they too may suffer as I have at their paws. To believe that everything, every hurt, every argument and disagreement will be placed square upon their shoulders and that they to can suffer as they have me. That they too can see and feel the wasted year's resulting from their lies and conditioning only to be told, no made to believe that this illusion of friendship ever existed and that they've been played the fool all along for another's enjoyment.
I hope that if there is a place of suffering you'll find a home there and learn to enjoy it just as you have done to me. Hell would be a pleasant vacation from the suffering you have bestowed upon myself. I hate no one but I feel no sympathy for those who have placed this burden upon me.
Suffer as I have and enjoy!
Do you love me?
Posted 2 years ago"Do you love Me?" Alice asked.
"No, I don't love you!" replied the White Rabbit.
Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.
"See?" replied the White Rabbit. "Now you're going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can't love you at least a little.
You know, that's why I can't love you. You will not always be loved Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.
Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other's feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.
If you don't love yourself, at least a little, if you don't create an armour of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.
The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: 'I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself.' "~
Arthor unknown <3
"No, I don't love you!" replied the White Rabbit.
Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.
"See?" replied the White Rabbit. "Now you're going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can't love you at least a little.
You know, that's why I can't love you. You will not always be loved Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.
Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other's feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.
If you don't love yourself, at least a little, if you don't create an armour of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.
The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: 'I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself.' "~
Arthor unknown <3
Time for an assessment
Posted 3 years agoAs the title suggests it's time for a personal assessment of those I consider friends and those i like to think of as family.
In recent days I've had two people who I regarded as family turn on me.
This is especially troubling for one like myself who suffers from Serious trust issues from past abuse and traumatic injuries.
As a result I'm going to take some "Me" time as I reassess relationships and what these relationships mean to me/affect me.
I'm also going to use this time to work on my tablet in an effort to figure it out and begin producing some art once more that I can again take pride in.
How long will be gone is undetermined at this time and probably of little concern to those reading this.
However, upon my return there will be noticeable changes and art that I might not be ashamed of again.
I may from time to time lurk about but even that is no guarantee.
So for those who remain for my return, I look forward to our reunion and to those who do not, it's been nice.
In recent days I've had two people who I regarded as family turn on me.
This is especially troubling for one like myself who suffers from Serious trust issues from past abuse and traumatic injuries.
As a result I'm going to take some "Me" time as I reassess relationships and what these relationships mean to me/affect me.
I'm also going to use this time to work on my tablet in an effort to figure it out and begin producing some art once more that I can again take pride in.
How long will be gone is undetermined at this time and probably of little concern to those reading this.
However, upon my return there will be noticeable changes and art that I might not be ashamed of again.
I may from time to time lurk about but even that is no guarantee.
So for those who remain for my return, I look forward to our reunion and to those who do not, it's been nice.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Posted 3 years agoI'm sorry it's been so long
Posted 3 years agoAs the title says I am so sorry I have been gone for so long, this was never my intention.
A lot of things have happened since I decided to take a short break.
I would like to say I've been busy but I haven't the heart to lie and you deserve so much better.
The truth is I needed a small break from social media as I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed.
During this time I followed my Dearest friend over to FB.
I've had a couple of accounts there and left both time's do to the drama fest it is known for however this time I was informed of some controls where I can filter what feeds I'm on and as such I found a lot of Furry groups there.
This has consumed a bit of my time.
Also my wife has suffered some health issues that have left her bed ridden so I've been dealing with that and taking care of her.
So I want to offer my deepest apologies for not having let those of you who still keep an eye on me from time to time and especially for those of you who are my family, I am truly sorry. I love each and every one of you.
On a good note, I have an art tablet on the way and in time for Christmas!
So, once I can find some suitable software and learn how to work with it you will be seeing new and fresh art from me. π
This will be quite the change for me going from strictly traditional art to digital, but I do look forward to the transition. Unfortunately I cannot say that for the first few art work's that turn out as again I will have no idea what I am doing until I can fully make the transition.
Anyway if you've read this far then I know I I love you and you will be seeing some horrible new art soon.
And if you're not careful you just might be the featured subject.
A lot of things have happened since I decided to take a short break.
I would like to say I've been busy but I haven't the heart to lie and you deserve so much better.
The truth is I needed a small break from social media as I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed.
During this time I followed my Dearest friend over to FB.
I've had a couple of accounts there and left both time's do to the drama fest it is known for however this time I was informed of some controls where I can filter what feeds I'm on and as such I found a lot of Furry groups there.
This has consumed a bit of my time.
Also my wife has suffered some health issues that have left her bed ridden so I've been dealing with that and taking care of her.
So I want to offer my deepest apologies for not having let those of you who still keep an eye on me from time to time and especially for those of you who are my family, I am truly sorry. I love each and every one of you.
On a good note, I have an art tablet on the way and in time for Christmas!
So, once I can find some suitable software and learn how to work with it you will be seeing new and fresh art from me. π
This will be quite the change for me going from strictly traditional art to digital, but I do look forward to the transition. Unfortunately I cannot say that for the first few art work's that turn out as again I will have no idea what I am doing until I can fully make the transition.
Anyway if you've read this far then I know I I love you and you will be seeing some horrible new art soon.
And if you're not careful you just might be the featured subject.
The saddest day of the year.
Posted 3 years agoThree year's ago to the day the nearest and Dearest friend/family member I've ever had the privilege of knowing left us.
She was burning bright light in my darkest days and though she has left us her memory, love and the way she touched this poor lost dragon's heart will forever remain.
The fandom and the world lost a Great and noble fur. The most loving and understanding person whoever knew me.
Liane RabbitFangs, my sweet Bunny...I will forever carry your love and endless wisdom in my heart.
You were the only one to ever touch my heart as you did and the one who pulled me from the darkest pit of dispare saving me from myself. You were the only one to tame this beast, who would have ever thought a rabbit could mster a dragon...yet you did my sweet Mistress.
Forever missed but Never forgotten, your loving draggy. ~Dar~
She was burning bright light in my darkest days and though she has left us her memory, love and the way she touched this poor lost dragon's heart will forever remain.
The fandom and the world lost a Great and noble fur. The most loving and understanding person whoever knew me.
Liane RabbitFangs, my sweet Bunny...I will forever carry your love and endless wisdom in my heart.
You were the only one to ever touch my heart as you did and the one who pulled me from the darkest pit of dispare saving me from myself. You were the only one to tame this beast, who would have ever thought a rabbit could mster a dragon...yet you did my sweet Mistress.
Forever missed but Never forgotten, your loving draggy. ~Dar~
New Free Raffle
Posted 3 years ago
is holding a free art raffle with One super lucky winner!It ends August 1st so Hurry!
Information is as follows......
Free raffle art [Ends on August 1st, 2022]
By InvidiaSaunder,
3 days ago sexy bird loves ya
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
I just want to draw someone cool, so here's a new lottery for no reason
I take this opportunity to remind you that my commissions are always open and new YCHes are available too :D
ββββββββ [RULES] ββββββββ
How to win a free art from me:
- +Watch me
- Fav this post
- Make a small PR of my page. It may be in a journal or shout
- Post a comment here. It must contain:
β your number
β a link showing the PR
β a link to your character's reference-sheet
You will receive one halfbody art with simple or abstract BG of your character like on examples.
No matter SFW or NSFW~
There will be one lucky winner!
I will choose winner using random number generator. The lottery will finish on the 1st of August (0:00 / GMT+3)
Thanks to everyone who was with me and who supported me! If you have any questions feel free to note
Harpy love ya all π
Good luck for everybody!
starsforme Boosty | ToS | Carrd | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr starsforme
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
New Free Raffle
Posted 3 years ago
is holding a free art raffle with One super lucky winner!It ends August 1st so Hurry!
Information is as follows......
Free raffle art [Ends on August 1st, 2022]
By InvidiaSaunder,
3 days ago sexy bird loves ya
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
I just want to draw someone cool, so here's a new lottery for no reason
I take this opportunity to remind you that my commissions are always open and new YCHes are available too :D
ββββββββ [RULES] ββββββββ
How to win a free art from me:
- +Watch me
- Fav this post
- Make a small PR of my page. It may be in a journal or shout
- Post a comment here. It must contain:
β your number
β a link showing the PR
β a link to your character's reference-sheet
You will receive one halfbody art with simple or abstract BG of your character like on examples.
No matter SFW or NSFW~
There will be one lucky winner!
I will choose winner using random number generator. The lottery will finish on the 1st of August (0:00 / GMT+3)
Thanks to everyone who was with me and who supported me! If you have any questions feel free to note
Harpy love ya all π
Good luck for everybody!
starsforme Boosty | ToS | Carrd | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr starsforme
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Free art potential...
Posted 3 years ago
Sugar.Rush Is offering a chance to get free art from them! The rules are simple and listed below.
Good Luck!
Featured Journal
Drawing my Watchers!
17 hours ago
ο»ΏβββΒ»βYour attention is requiredβΒ«βββ
That's you guys!
I wanna keep a journal here where I can do some sketches, or maybe some surprises along the way.
There's no commitment for this, and it's random and what I feel like doing, but it is a chance to get free art from me!
I only have a couple rules!~
Share this:
Don't be greedy now, share this around and make sure your friends know about this :>
Current and New:
Watchers welcome! The more the merrier.
Don't be salty:
If I don't choose you right away. This is supposed to be fun and light hearted.
This journal is a chance at free art and it is free to enter.
No one will recieve numbers or anything, this isn't a raffle.
Please make sure to post your references in the comments! NSFW is welcome. I do all sorts of art. All species are welcome.
Wanna see alternative edits not posted here?
Wanna get discounts and first dibs on adopts and art I offer only to a select few?
Do you want art every month from me?
Please consider joining SUBSCRIBESTAR
Find me also on
Picarto,
Twitter, Toyhou.se, Ko-Fiο»Ώο»Ώ
Happy Pride Month!
Posted 3 years agoYes at long last, Happy Pride Month Everyone!
Now go do something Naaaauuuughty....πππ
Now go do something Naaaauuuughty....πππ
So today is the day.....
Posted 3 years agoIt would seem today is draggy's birthday..... Though to honest I was pretty young at the time so I really don't remember.
To quote a poem "Another day useless, another year spent."
So let's do something fun, how about a TMI Wednesday?
Yeah let's do this!
Ask me anything you want and I shall answer truthfully.
To quote a poem "Another day useless, another year spent."
So let's do something fun, how about a TMI Wednesday?
Yeah let's do this!
Ask me anything you want and I shall answer truthfully.
Time for something new
Posted 3 years agoFirst I want to thank each and ever one of you who have lent an ear and offered so much beautiful support on my last journal. Thanks to all of you I have realized that I'm not alone in sometimes feeling that way. I Honestly don't know what I would do without the love and support I have found in all of you.*Hug's Tightly* β€οΈ
Also Please take a long look at one of my Dear friends page's, he's a Great Artist and even Greater person who deserves a Lot of love and Who's not been around for a while so he's got lots of new art popping up, please give him a look.
Thank you!
Also Please take a long look at one of my Dear friends page's, he's a Great Artist and even Greater person who deserves a Lot of love and Who's not been around for a while so he's got lots of new art popping up, please give him a look.
Thank you!Life....
Posted 3 years agoI don't understand. Not to boast or toot my own horn, those of you who know me know that I don't seek recognition for the things I've said or done...hell I don't even have an ego I'm just a simple dumb dragon.
I've had a thought today that I find most complexing. Thinking back on how long I've been in the fandom and in online art I've found that I've influenced and helped so many over the years.
For these people I am so very happy, I truly am! I've been thanked by many for nothing more than supporting them and helping them to see the skills they posses but could never see for themselves.
They've all moved on to Great positions of artistry Graphic design, Freelance, one even painting murals on buildings.
I've helped people to see in themselves what they never realized was there all along and so from there they have become quite successful.
Some I've helped to change their lives so drastically that they went from poverty and an abusive relationship to now being very successful and in a loving relationship.
These things make me so very happy. I love to see people succeed in life and fulfill their dream's, I Really do.
In helping others I feel I've done something with my miserable existence.
Life has always been so hard on me and to help others be happy has always brought me great pleasure and gives me hope that one day things will change for me also .....yet as I look around me I cannot help but I'm being left behind.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love helping others to achieve their full potential in fact nothing makes me happier because in that moment I see how my life could have been.
I feel their joy and am so incredibly happy for them....yet I cannot help but feel left behind somehow.
I know "life not fair blah blah blah" and that's fine. I was born a looser I recognize and accept this, but can't the looser win once in while? Why must life always be so hard to some?
And this isn't all about me, I know many have it worse in different ways...
It's just I see those succeeding in life where I continue failing.
Don't mind me I'm just having a moment and feeling sorry for myself.... sometimes...I just don't know.
I've had a thought today that I find most complexing. Thinking back on how long I've been in the fandom and in online art I've found that I've influenced and helped so many over the years.
For these people I am so very happy, I truly am! I've been thanked by many for nothing more than supporting them and helping them to see the skills they posses but could never see for themselves.
They've all moved on to Great positions of artistry Graphic design, Freelance, one even painting murals on buildings.
I've helped people to see in themselves what they never realized was there all along and so from there they have become quite successful.
Some I've helped to change their lives so drastically that they went from poverty and an abusive relationship to now being very successful and in a loving relationship.
These things make me so very happy. I love to see people succeed in life and fulfill their dream's, I Really do.
In helping others I feel I've done something with my miserable existence.
Life has always been so hard on me and to help others be happy has always brought me great pleasure and gives me hope that one day things will change for me also .....yet as I look around me I cannot help but I'm being left behind.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love helping others to achieve their full potential in fact nothing makes me happier because in that moment I see how my life could have been.
I feel their joy and am so incredibly happy for them....yet I cannot help but feel left behind somehow.
I know "life not fair blah blah blah" and that's fine. I was born a looser I recognize and accept this, but can't the looser win once in while? Why must life always be so hard to some?
And this isn't all about me, I know many have it worse in different ways...
It's just I see those succeeding in life where I continue failing.
Don't mind me I'm just having a moment and feeling sorry for myself.... sometimes...I just don't know.
Take a look at these art's.
Posted 3 years agoLeaving, maybe...
Posted 3 years agoI don't know...some Very sad news has befallen me and I cannot help but feel hurt and lost right now.
I just don't know.... It seems like everytime I begin to feel comfortable and can truly be myself with someone they leave.
I've already suffered one Huge heart breaking blow when Fang's left and now Corrilly has said she's leaving....what the Hell?
How many times will I have to endure this pain?
My Dearest and closest friends are all leaving me one by one and I don't know how much more of this pain I can endure.
I just don't know..... I'm going to need time to digest this and have a good cry.
What's the point in having friends Especially close friends if they all start fading away or leaving you?
This is the very reason why I have trouble forming close friendships/relationships with people because in the end they Always end up leaving...and that is a pain I've had to endure my entire life.
I just want to go hide under a rock and never come out again....ππ’
I just don't know.... It seems like everytime I begin to feel comfortable and can truly be myself with someone they leave.
I've already suffered one Huge heart breaking blow when Fang's left and now Corrilly has said she's leaving....what the Hell?
How many times will I have to endure this pain?
My Dearest and closest friends are all leaving me one by one and I don't know how much more of this pain I can endure.
I just don't know..... I'm going to need time to digest this and have a good cry.
What's the point in having friends Especially close friends if they all start fading away or leaving you?
This is the very reason why I have trouble forming close friendships/relationships with people because in the end they Always end up leaving...and that is a pain I've had to endure my entire life.
I just want to go hide under a rock and never come out again....ππ’
Well Damn!
Posted 3 years agoLooks like I'm going to be unemployed in a week or less as the company I work for is shutting down. The high fuel prices are mostly to blame. Sucks for me!
So I may be a little spotty here.
I was just notified Friday.... it's pretty shocking news.π
So I may be a little spotty here.
I was just notified Friday.... it's pretty shocking news.π
Happy Birthday Foxy!
Posted 3 years agoFor those who don't know today is the day we were all graced with the Beauty and Splendor of 
Otherwise known as Foxy "the sweet hearted" Fox or as I call her, Foxy Fox.
So head on over if you will and give her a Big Hug for FA simply wouldn't be such a loving and sweet place without her.
And to Grace, Gotcha!ππ

Otherwise known as Foxy "the sweet hearted" Fox or as I call her, Foxy Fox.
So head on over if you will and give her a Big Hug for FA simply wouldn't be such a loving and sweet place without her.
And to Grace, Gotcha!ππ
What is with all the hate?
Posted 3 years agoPersonally I stand with the people of the Ukraine, they are innocent of any crimes other than trying to join the UN witch they are fully entitled to.
While I have absolutely nothing against the Russian people as should no one else for they too are innocent bystanders in what has become a fascist regime of their government echoing a time of the Nazi party.
Their attack on the Ukraine is wrong and unprecedented. But we must all remember that our governments do Not always represent the people of that country.
Russian artist's here attacking supporters of the Ukraine and Ukrainian supporters attacking Russian artist's is wrong! We cannot control what our governments say or do so we Must not attack those who are not responsible.
The Death threats and personal attacks must stop!
We are all people joined in this beautiful community where All are excepted and loved Equally without bias, Why destroy all of this with word's of Hate?
The world is filled with hate why bring it here to what most consider an oasis from the world outside?
While I have absolutely nothing against the Russian people as should no one else for they too are innocent bystanders in what has become a fascist regime of their government echoing a time of the Nazi party.
Their attack on the Ukraine is wrong and unprecedented. But we must all remember that our governments do Not always represent the people of that country.
Russian artist's here attacking supporters of the Ukraine and Ukrainian supporters attacking Russian artist's is wrong! We cannot control what our governments say or do so we Must not attack those who are not responsible.
The Death threats and personal attacks must stop!
We are all people joined in this beautiful community where All are excepted and loved Equally without bias, Why destroy all of this with word's of Hate?
The world is filled with hate why bring it here to what most consider an oasis from the world outside?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIV!
Posted 3 years agoHappy Birthday Megan!
Posted 3 years agoHappy Birthday Birdy!!
Posted 3 years agoHappy Birthday Melinaswift
Posted 4 years agoHey everybody, today is
Birthday!
Go wish her a happy birthday and let's try to fill her in box with happy wishes as she's been having a rough go of things lately.
P.S. I you haven't read her stories then by All means give them a read and leave a comment about what you think of them. She is asking for Constructive criticism so that she may improve on her writing skills.
Thank you so much in advance!π
Birthday!Go wish her a happy birthday and let's try to fill her in box with happy wishes as she's been having a rough go of things lately.
P.S. I you haven't read her stories then by All means give them a read and leave a comment about what you think of them. She is asking for Constructive criticism so that she may improve on her writing skills.
Thank you so much in advance!π
Merry Christmas!
Posted 4 years agoMerry Christmas all my Furry Brothers and Sisters who I love so much and especially those of you I hold so close to my heart! (You know who you are)βΊοΈ
I Truly hope the Fat Man brought you everything you had asked for and that you know nothing but love, joy and Togetherness on this holiday bright.
Remember this is the day for rejoice and to be with the one's you love, and if you're feeling alone right now just remember you're never truly alone for you always have this red dragon who loves you so dearly.β€οΈ
I Truly hope the Fat Man brought you everything you had asked for and that you know nothing but love, joy and Togetherness on this holiday bright.
Remember this is the day for rejoice and to be with the one's you love, and if you're feeling alone right now just remember you're never truly alone for you always have this red dragon who loves you so dearly.β€οΈ
Please Help this artist if you can
Posted 4 years agoA very good friend of mine is in a Very bad way right now, they're in a Very abusive relationship and are desperate to get out before thing's escalate any worse.
Please follow the link and if you cannot help then please spread the word.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10070590/
Please follow the link and if you cannot help then please spread the word.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10070590/
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