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Oh dear god (more politics)
Posted 13 years agoFor part 1 of the journal, read here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3955083/
I just got this poster in the mail. Two images:
http://i.imgur.com/EP4ld.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/OhhBQ.jpg
North Dakota Furs: If you needed ANY more reason to get off your asses in a few days and go vote for Heidi Heitkamp... here ya go. Rick Berg is a fucking jackass through and through.
Look, he BLATANTLY opposes same sex marriage and attacks people like me and our rights as a fucking individual right here in fucking print.
Evil, through and through. Go out and vote this year ND furs, even if it's just to elect Heidi and make sure this jackhole isn't representing our state.
I just got this poster in the mail. Two images:
http://i.imgur.com/EP4ld.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/OhhBQ.jpg
North Dakota Furs: If you needed ANY more reason to get off your asses in a few days and go vote for Heidi Heitkamp... here ya go. Rick Berg is a fucking jackass through and through.
Look, he BLATANTLY opposes same sex marriage and attacks people like me and our rights as a fucking individual right here in fucking print.
Evil, through and through. Go out and vote this year ND furs, even if it's just to elect Heidi and make sure this jackhole isn't representing our state.
Politics
Posted 13 years agoOk, it's time I bring this up.
This is mostly directed at fellow furries from North Dakota, but this applies to everyone who might potentially read this and is in the United States.
I'll be stating some political standpoints later in this journal, but the first and primary reason I am posting this is as follows:
You NEED to VOTE!
This is not optional. I'm sorry, but if you think it is, you're an idiot. I'm not just talking about the presidential election either. I understand that some people feel the presidential election is a sham and have reservations about taking part. I share some of those reservations.
That said, it is your DUTY as a citizen to vote. If you don't agree with the two party system, vote against it. Vote for someone else on the ballot. Or someone NOT on the ballot.
The sad fact is that a huge percentage of people every election year in the US do NOT vote, and this huge percentage could actually sway the election one way or another if they all were to theoretically vote for the same candidate.
The thing is, the media doesn't tell you this. They don't WANT you to know this. You know why? The media is controlled by the corporate theocracy that does actually run this nation (and is slowly taking over the world). And they LIKE that you don't vote. They don't WANT you to vote, because if that huge majority of people that don't vote every year actually used their power and organized, their status quo could be upset.
So that's one major reason you need to go vote. Even if you don't vote for one of the two major parties in one of the elections (remember, it's not JUST the presidential election going on) -- it's not a wasted vote. Hell, put Uncle Kage down as a write-in ballot if nothing else. But you DO have to vote.
So I'll reiterate GO VOTE!!
Keep in mind, the presidential election is just one small component of the elections going on. In truth, what is even more important is the senate and congress elections. YOUR VOTE MATTERS in these elections, quite a bit. Use your voice. Do your research, pick a candidate, and vote.
Now, from here on I'm going to express some political views, and ND furs should pay close attention to the state related stuff going on here. ND is generally a quiet state in terms of elections, but this year we have a few interesting things going on.
First of all, presidential election: I am voting for Obama.
I might have voted for a third party if one had caught my eye this year, but they really haven't. I'm still hoping that maybe in 4 years we might have a shot at electing a third party or at least rallying some support from the huge voting crowd that doesn't vote to get off their asses and try to elect someone outside the two party system, but for now, I'm going to try my best to keep the ultimate evil OUT of the presidential office.
The GOP, and Romney, are evil to the core. If you vote this year and slightly dislike Obama, but might want to vote for Romney just because "he's the other guy" you should seriously reconsider. Obama may not be perfect, but Romney is far, far worse.
Are you gay? Do you know someone who is? Chances are if you're in the fandom, the answer to at least one of those questions is going to be yes. Romney's political party is controlled by religious zealots that are desperately clawing at the political cloth of this country to try and gain a foothold.
Note, I have no problems with religion, but I have a problem with zealots.
These zealots are no different than the religious zealots who attacked our country during 9/11. Those people believed they were doing God's will and destroying unbelievers and heretics.
The GOP believes that homosexuality is a sin that should be punished by fire and brimstone. Romney is a member of the GOP. If his party had their way, they would do everything they could to outlaw homosexuality and enact severe penalties against those who are openly homosexual.
But this is only one reason you shouldn't vote for Romney.
The other main reason? He's a goddamned billionaire. This is actually the talking point many of his supporters will use to say "He should run the country because he has experience running big corporations". What they fail to realize is that corporations are what are destroying this country, and slowly, the world.
The country is under a stranglehold control of corporate greed. Our government is largely a corporate theocracy. Lobbyists and corporate interests dominate our politics. They own the media, and control the flow of information. But the internet age is slowly imposing on their territory, and they're fighting HARD to shut it down.
But progress can't be stopped -- Obama at least, has shown a desire to oppose such measures as SOPA and PIPA. Romney says he's opposed to the same, but he lies so much I can't believe him. And if lobbyists passed him a few billion dollars under the table, then suddenly his opinions might change. Romney can, and has, been bought.
Ok, enough about the presidential election, now on to the ND State elections:
The only real controversy here this year is the bid for one of our two Senate seats. I'm voting for Heidi Heitkamp. Not just because she's a Democrat, but because Rick Berg, her opposition, is like a mini-Romney. He's a rich billionaire, and has repeatedly voted to support more tax cuts for the rich. He doesn't care about people like me, people who struggle every day for what money they are able to scrounge up.
Berg is evil, and he's been bought out by the corporations as well.
He's also incredibly conservative, anti-gay rights and a strong supporter of "Pro-life" (aka, anti-choice). He's a snake, and he's done enough damage as a congressman, we cannot let him get a foothold in the senate, where his vote will count a whole hell of a lot more.
I also know from a local fur who has spoken to Heidi personally, and talked to her about the furry fandom, that she thinks this fandom is "neat" and views it with a positive attitude. What more reason would a furry need to vote her into office? :D
Other than that, the rest of the votes this year are fairly open. I'll let you make your own determinations.
Thanks for reading, and remember, your vote DOES matter. Use it.
This is mostly directed at fellow furries from North Dakota, but this applies to everyone who might potentially read this and is in the United States.
I'll be stating some political standpoints later in this journal, but the first and primary reason I am posting this is as follows:
You NEED to VOTE!
This is not optional. I'm sorry, but if you think it is, you're an idiot. I'm not just talking about the presidential election either. I understand that some people feel the presidential election is a sham and have reservations about taking part. I share some of those reservations.
That said, it is your DUTY as a citizen to vote. If you don't agree with the two party system, vote against it. Vote for someone else on the ballot. Or someone NOT on the ballot.
The sad fact is that a huge percentage of people every election year in the US do NOT vote, and this huge percentage could actually sway the election one way or another if they all were to theoretically vote for the same candidate.
The thing is, the media doesn't tell you this. They don't WANT you to know this. You know why? The media is controlled by the corporate theocracy that does actually run this nation (and is slowly taking over the world). And they LIKE that you don't vote. They don't WANT you to vote, because if that huge majority of people that don't vote every year actually used their power and organized, their status quo could be upset.
So that's one major reason you need to go vote. Even if you don't vote for one of the two major parties in one of the elections (remember, it's not JUST the presidential election going on) -- it's not a wasted vote. Hell, put Uncle Kage down as a write-in ballot if nothing else. But you DO have to vote.
So I'll reiterate GO VOTE!!
Keep in mind, the presidential election is just one small component of the elections going on. In truth, what is even more important is the senate and congress elections. YOUR VOTE MATTERS in these elections, quite a bit. Use your voice. Do your research, pick a candidate, and vote.
Now, from here on I'm going to express some political views, and ND furs should pay close attention to the state related stuff going on here. ND is generally a quiet state in terms of elections, but this year we have a few interesting things going on.
First of all, presidential election: I am voting for Obama.
I might have voted for a third party if one had caught my eye this year, but they really haven't. I'm still hoping that maybe in 4 years we might have a shot at electing a third party or at least rallying some support from the huge voting crowd that doesn't vote to get off their asses and try to elect someone outside the two party system, but for now, I'm going to try my best to keep the ultimate evil OUT of the presidential office.
The GOP, and Romney, are evil to the core. If you vote this year and slightly dislike Obama, but might want to vote for Romney just because "he's the other guy" you should seriously reconsider. Obama may not be perfect, but Romney is far, far worse.
Are you gay? Do you know someone who is? Chances are if you're in the fandom, the answer to at least one of those questions is going to be yes. Romney's political party is controlled by religious zealots that are desperately clawing at the political cloth of this country to try and gain a foothold.
Note, I have no problems with religion, but I have a problem with zealots.
These zealots are no different than the religious zealots who attacked our country during 9/11. Those people believed they were doing God's will and destroying unbelievers and heretics.
The GOP believes that homosexuality is a sin that should be punished by fire and brimstone. Romney is a member of the GOP. If his party had their way, they would do everything they could to outlaw homosexuality and enact severe penalties against those who are openly homosexual.
But this is only one reason you shouldn't vote for Romney.
The other main reason? He's a goddamned billionaire. This is actually the talking point many of his supporters will use to say "He should run the country because he has experience running big corporations". What they fail to realize is that corporations are what are destroying this country, and slowly, the world.
The country is under a stranglehold control of corporate greed. Our government is largely a corporate theocracy. Lobbyists and corporate interests dominate our politics. They own the media, and control the flow of information. But the internet age is slowly imposing on their territory, and they're fighting HARD to shut it down.
But progress can't be stopped -- Obama at least, has shown a desire to oppose such measures as SOPA and PIPA. Romney says he's opposed to the same, but he lies so much I can't believe him. And if lobbyists passed him a few billion dollars under the table, then suddenly his opinions might change. Romney can, and has, been bought.
Ok, enough about the presidential election, now on to the ND State elections:
The only real controversy here this year is the bid for one of our two Senate seats. I'm voting for Heidi Heitkamp. Not just because she's a Democrat, but because Rick Berg, her opposition, is like a mini-Romney. He's a rich billionaire, and has repeatedly voted to support more tax cuts for the rich. He doesn't care about people like me, people who struggle every day for what money they are able to scrounge up.
Berg is evil, and he's been bought out by the corporations as well.
He's also incredibly conservative, anti-gay rights and a strong supporter of "Pro-life" (aka, anti-choice). He's a snake, and he's done enough damage as a congressman, we cannot let him get a foothold in the senate, where his vote will count a whole hell of a lot more.
I also know from a local fur who has spoken to Heidi personally, and talked to her about the furry fandom, that she thinks this fandom is "neat" and views it with a positive attitude. What more reason would a furry need to vote her into office? :D
Other than that, the rest of the votes this year are fairly open. I'll let you make your own determinations.
Thanks for reading, and remember, your vote DOES matter. Use it.
Help me find the fur for my bodysuit!
Posted 13 years agoIf anyone knows someone who has this type of fox fur laying around and would be willing to sell it, please contact me or 
drakonicknight
http://www.interiormall.com/cat/nsa.....8499&t=137
Apparently the manufacturer stopped making it, and I can't seem to find it anywhere.
If I can't get enough of it to make my bodysuit I will never get a full fursuit made, because I can't afford to have my head and partial re-done with new fur, and I wouldn't want to anyways.
I'll be pissed if that's the case.
Someone HAS to have some laying around or know where to buy it.
Also, if anyone knows WHO the manufacturer of that fur is, I'd like that info to so I can contact them and find out if they have some warehoused.
drakonicknighthttp://www.interiormall.com/cat/nsa.....8499&t=137
Apparently the manufacturer stopped making it, and I can't seem to find it anywhere.
If I can't get enough of it to make my bodysuit I will never get a full fursuit made, because I can't afford to have my head and partial re-done with new fur, and I wouldn't want to anyways.
I'll be pissed if that's the case.
Someone HAS to have some laying around or know where to buy it.
Also, if anyone knows WHO the manufacturer of that fur is, I'd like that info to so I can contact them and find out if they have some warehoused.
Updated profile
Posted 13 years agoI cleaned up some stuff, it was too cluttered and was starting to bug me.
I removed my "friends wall" because I hadn't really touched it in forever, and I've got more friends in the fandom than would reasonably fit there now.
I removed my "friends wall" because I hadn't really touched it in forever, and I've got more friends in the fandom than would reasonably fit there now.
Streaming Videogames - Borderlands 2 - DONE
Posted 13 years agoI'm fucking sick of it all
Posted 13 years agoI am sick and tired of college.
I don't want to do it anymore.
I just want to lie here in my bed and just not leave. I'm useless as a student and as an employee and as a person, so why fucking bother?
I'm so angry I want to scream at the top of my lungs, but it won't do any good.
I want someone to help me, but nobody can.
EDIT - Far calmer, now. Was about to delete this, but I'm going to leave it up. I still feel trapped, I'm just not freaking out anymore. I got a few things to try at least.
Sorry for being an ass. I can't believe people are still willing to be my friend after today.
I don't want to do it anymore.
I just want to lie here in my bed and just not leave. I'm useless as a student and as an employee and as a person, so why fucking bother?
I'm so angry I want to scream at the top of my lungs, but it won't do any good.
I want someone to help me, but nobody can.
EDIT - Far calmer, now. Was about to delete this, but I'm going to leave it up. I still feel trapped, I'm just not freaking out anymore. I got a few things to try at least.
Sorry for being an ass. I can't believe people are still willing to be my friend after today.
Looking Ahead and Seeing a Future that Scares me.
Posted 13 years agoSo I got the results from my tests I took last week in my college classes.
I did good on my Computer Science tests, which was encouraging. I'm still failing that course, but if I can pick up my homework issues and do well on future tests, I can probably pass with a C.
However, my Pre-Calculus is a different story.
Pre-Calc is a "preparatory" course for the Math courses that are required for my degree. The credits don't even count toward my degree. I took it because I suck at math, and always have.
I'm failing. Hard. 54% or something like that in the class.
I've taken two tests so far, scoring 52/100 on one and 64/100 on the second.
The second one was taken last week Wednesday and I tried my hardest on it. Studied like hell for it. Went into it feeling confident and good. It took me the entire class period and I was the last one to hand it in.
And now I find out I still failed it.
Wow...
So basically, I'm too stupid for the math that's not even REQUIRED for my degree. The math that's required is even harder. And these results are telling me I'm in no way prepared or smart enough to take those courses.
I tried my hardest, and still failed. I gave it my all, and still coudldn't do it.
So basically, that means I'm too stupid and don't deserve this degree.
I'm not giving up, I'm going to keep trying. But I'm afraid.
If I fail these courses there's a good chance my GPA will fall below the required level to continue receiving financial aid. And if that happens, I lose my only method of going to college. I can't afford to pay for it on my own, hell, I can't even afford to pay back the student loans I have already taken out (over 40k in loans).
So if I lose financial aid, and don't get my degree, I lose my internship as well, which means I lose all sources of income. And my prospects for getting another job will be slim, since I'll be a failure of a college dropout, and nobody wants to hire someone like that.
Within a very short time, I'll start getting debt collectors demanding me to pay back loans I can't possibly pay. I won't be able to pay for rent. I won't be able to buy food, or gas, or anything.
Eventually I'll have to move back home, because I can't pay my roommate for the rent. Then I'll default on my loans, which will hurt my mom's credit really bad since she co-signed on them. She may even not let me live at home as a result, and I wouldn't blame her one bit.
Basically, I'd be homeless, and jobless.
If this sounds rediculously negative, I'm sorry, but I don't see any other way this can pan out. I mean, I MIGHT be able to pass my Computer Science course. But the Pre-Calc? Not a hope in hell, I simply am too stupid.
I'm scared. If this all happens then I'll become a massive drain on everyone I know. Nobody wants to financially support someone like me. Someone that dropped out of college because they're stupid and lazy. And I don't blame them, I wouldn't give money to me either.
Help...
I did good on my Computer Science tests, which was encouraging. I'm still failing that course, but if I can pick up my homework issues and do well on future tests, I can probably pass with a C.
However, my Pre-Calculus is a different story.
Pre-Calc is a "preparatory" course for the Math courses that are required for my degree. The credits don't even count toward my degree. I took it because I suck at math, and always have.
I'm failing. Hard. 54% or something like that in the class.
I've taken two tests so far, scoring 52/100 on one and 64/100 on the second.
The second one was taken last week Wednesday and I tried my hardest on it. Studied like hell for it. Went into it feeling confident and good. It took me the entire class period and I was the last one to hand it in.
And now I find out I still failed it.
Wow...
So basically, I'm too stupid for the math that's not even REQUIRED for my degree. The math that's required is even harder. And these results are telling me I'm in no way prepared or smart enough to take those courses.
I tried my hardest, and still failed. I gave it my all, and still coudldn't do it.
So basically, that means I'm too stupid and don't deserve this degree.
I'm not giving up, I'm going to keep trying. But I'm afraid.
If I fail these courses there's a good chance my GPA will fall below the required level to continue receiving financial aid. And if that happens, I lose my only method of going to college. I can't afford to pay for it on my own, hell, I can't even afford to pay back the student loans I have already taken out (over 40k in loans).
So if I lose financial aid, and don't get my degree, I lose my internship as well, which means I lose all sources of income. And my prospects for getting another job will be slim, since I'll be a failure of a college dropout, and nobody wants to hire someone like that.
Within a very short time, I'll start getting debt collectors demanding me to pay back loans I can't possibly pay. I won't be able to pay for rent. I won't be able to buy food, or gas, or anything.
Eventually I'll have to move back home, because I can't pay my roommate for the rent. Then I'll default on my loans, which will hurt my mom's credit really bad since she co-signed on them. She may even not let me live at home as a result, and I wouldn't blame her one bit.
Basically, I'd be homeless, and jobless.
If this sounds rediculously negative, I'm sorry, but I don't see any other way this can pan out. I mean, I MIGHT be able to pass my Computer Science course. But the Pre-Calc? Not a hope in hell, I simply am too stupid.
I'm scared. If this all happens then I'll become a massive drain on everyone I know. Nobody wants to financially support someone like me. Someone that dropped out of college because they're stupid and lazy. And I don't blame them, I wouldn't give money to me either.
Help...
Go give this guy a look. :D
Posted 13 years agoJust a shout out to a friend of mine, talented videographer, check out his latest:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8939436/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8939436/
My furry credit card has arrived!
Posted 13 years agoTook awhile to convince Wells Fargo that I owned the rights to the artwork that Ifus did for me, but I did finally manage to get it to go through, and their support was actually very helpful and professional.
Here's a picture. Obviously the important info has been cut out, but it gives you an idea of what it looks like.
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/24491859/B.....creditcard.jpg
I love it personally. :D
Here's a picture. Obviously the important info has been cut out, but it gives you an idea of what it looks like.
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/24491859/B.....creditcard.jpg
I love it personally. :D
Blegh (Info about illness inside, may be TMI for some)
Posted 13 years agoBeen sick for close to 4 days now.
I think it's severe allergies, so I'm taking aspirin for the headaches, pseudophredrine for the nasal congestion, and benadryl for the GODDAMN ITCHING IN MY MOUTH!!!
That last bit is the worst. It's driving me up the damn wall. It's not pain, it's literally itching like you'd normally get in your nose when you're near an allergen, or in your eyes sometimes, but it's in my mouth, like in my gums, and it's annoying as hell.
It's slowly getting better, but god I hate fall and spring so much.
I think it's severe allergies, so I'm taking aspirin for the headaches, pseudophredrine for the nasal congestion, and benadryl for the GODDAMN ITCHING IN MY MOUTH!!!
That last bit is the worst. It's driving me up the damn wall. It's not pain, it's literally itching like you'd normally get in your nose when you're near an allergen, or in your eyes sometimes, but it's in my mouth, like in my gums, and it's annoying as hell.
It's slowly getting better, but god I hate fall and spring so much.
Streaming Videogames -- Skyrim -- FINISHED
Posted 13 years agoOk last time I posted this I had ran into some mod issues and had to shut down and delete the journal while I fixed stuff. It's all fixed, and I'm ready for some gaming.
Not like anyone was in the stream last time anyways, but in any case, feel free to join to hang out:
http://www.livestream.com/artemisdragmire
I will be chatting on Steam. Artemis Dragmire if you want to join. I can see the livestream chat but may not respond much since Skyrim hates alt-tabbing.
EDIT - All done. Thanks for hanging out. Sorry for the weird mod issues.
Not like anyone was in the stream last time anyways, but in any case, feel free to join to hang out:
http://www.livestream.com/artemisdragmire
I will be chatting on Steam. Artemis Dragmire if you want to join. I can see the livestream chat but may not respond much since Skyrim hates alt-tabbing.
EDIT - All done. Thanks for hanging out. Sorry for the weird mod issues.
Fucking Slenderman...
Posted 13 years agoWatching the MarbleHornets videos on youtube, part of the Slenderman mythos.
Freaked the fuck out, lol.
What's worse is I'm sitting here in the dark watching them, and then someone walks by my apartment window, I see a shadow across my monitor and hear the gravel crunch, by time I turn around he's gone.
I think I'm going to go turn on the lights now.
Freaked the fuck out, lol.
What's worse is I'm sitting here in the dark watching them, and then someone walks by my apartment window, I see a shadow across my monitor and hear the gravel crunch, by time I turn around he's gone.
I think I'm going to go turn on the lights now.
Update
Posted 13 years agoSo anyways, short update.
I'm working on posting pictures from the
MNFurs fall picnic that was last weekend. I've also got some more fursuiting photos from a few weeks ago here in Bismarck that are still worth posting.
I'll also probably put together a short video for the picnic as well, like I did with the last one. If you haven't seen that, or my Anthrocon video, here's some links:
http://youtu.be/uvvkkct4JXA
http://youtu.be/F19Ze8XxRgs
As for more personal things... well that's complicatd.
I'm back in school, and immediately struggling. School hit at a really bad time for me, I'm still dealing with an emotional crisis that comes and goes, I can say with certainty that I'm depressed and have low self worth. I'm getting better, and things are improving, but it's a slow process. The stress of college classes is not helping.
Speaking more of college and professional life in general, I'm struggling there too. I've been having sleep issues and haven't been able to wake up in time for classes. I've ended up missing enough classes for my computer science course that I may not actually be able to recover, we will see. Same with pre-calculus.
I'm looking into tutoring, and I'm seeing a personal counselor on campus. So far it's helping... a bit... but there's no magic fix of course. I'm terrified of failure, and of a failure spiral that would lead to the ruin of my professional career. Honestly, I'm not sure I could handle it if it happened. But it hasn't yet, and I'm trying to avoid it. I'm just so tired and burnt out, I don't want to continue, I just want to be done.
Otherwise, personal stuff is doing ok. I'm struggling, as I said, but I'm not in the state of despair I was a month ago. I'm more numb than anything else.
On more upbeat note, I'm excited for Borderlands 2 next week, as well as Torchlight 2. I'm kinda taking a break right now from EVE Online, just a little burnt out on that as well, but I'm staying subscribed and keeping my training up.
Really looking forward to MFF in a couple months. That'll be a very welcome vacation.
I guess really, a lot of personal info that nobody cares about here, but hell, I hadn't written a journal in awhile and I felt like putting my thoughts down.
I'm working on posting pictures from the
MNFurs fall picnic that was last weekend. I've also got some more fursuiting photos from a few weeks ago here in Bismarck that are still worth posting.I'll also probably put together a short video for the picnic as well, like I did with the last one. If you haven't seen that, or my Anthrocon video, here's some links:
http://youtu.be/uvvkkct4JXA
http://youtu.be/F19Ze8XxRgs
As for more personal things... well that's complicatd.
I'm back in school, and immediately struggling. School hit at a really bad time for me, I'm still dealing with an emotional crisis that comes and goes, I can say with certainty that I'm depressed and have low self worth. I'm getting better, and things are improving, but it's a slow process. The stress of college classes is not helping.
Speaking more of college and professional life in general, I'm struggling there too. I've been having sleep issues and haven't been able to wake up in time for classes. I've ended up missing enough classes for my computer science course that I may not actually be able to recover, we will see. Same with pre-calculus.
I'm looking into tutoring, and I'm seeing a personal counselor on campus. So far it's helping... a bit... but there's no magic fix of course. I'm terrified of failure, and of a failure spiral that would lead to the ruin of my professional career. Honestly, I'm not sure I could handle it if it happened. But it hasn't yet, and I'm trying to avoid it. I'm just so tired and burnt out, I don't want to continue, I just want to be done.
Otherwise, personal stuff is doing ok. I'm struggling, as I said, but I'm not in the state of despair I was a month ago. I'm more numb than anything else.
On more upbeat note, I'm excited for Borderlands 2 next week, as well as Torchlight 2. I'm kinda taking a break right now from EVE Online, just a little burnt out on that as well, but I'm staying subscribed and keeping my training up.
Really looking forward to MFF in a couple months. That'll be a very welcome vacation.
I guess really, a lot of personal info that nobody cares about here, but hell, I hadn't written a journal in awhile and I felt like putting my thoughts down.
Will be attending the MNFurs Picnic!
Posted 13 years agoUnless something drastic changes, I will be attending the MNFurs picnic this weekend. I had a blast at the last one, so I'm looking forward to it.
Will be bringing the fursuit too of course. :)
MNFurs picnic this weekend. I had a blast at the last one, so I'm looking forward to it.Will be bringing the fursuit too of course. :)
I'm so sick of people that hide.
Posted 13 years agoThis is funny, coming from me, considering I was the same way if not worse less than a year and a half ago, but I've overcome it.
I'm sick and tired of people who act like furry is this big dark secret they have to hide from everyone around them, and then go and blame the media and whatever for them "having to hide themselves".
News flash people: If you hide being furry and act like it's a shameful thing, you REINFORCE the stereotype that furs are nothing but sexual deviants.
People say: "But I'd lose my job if they knew I was a fur!"
That's BUNK. Unless furry really IS nothing but a sexual fetish for you, and discussing it would be the same as discussing your love of chains and bondage at your job working with disabled children, then being a fur has NO reason to get you fired.
Furry is a hobby, or a lifestyle. Same as being a gamer, or a D&D nerd, or a computer techie, or an aviation nut, or whatever your chosen obsession and hobby is.
It should be no more shameful to say "Hey, I'm taking some time off in June to go to Anthrocon." than it is to say "Hey, I'm taking some time off in June to go to <Insert Auto-show here>"
Sure, it's a subculture, and yes, there's a preconception.
However, my point is that if you act ashamed of it, people will continue to see it as something that's deviant and interpret your shame as reinforcing their beliefs that furries are deviant and not normal.
Now, to clarify, there's a difference about being proud and unafraid of being a fur and being stupid.
I work in an office, and we have to wear ties to work every day but friday. I don't wear my fursuit or tail or anything like that to the office. However, I do carry with me a small pocketwatch that contains a picture of my character on my keychain, and I don't hide it when my manager comes around, everyone has seen it. Nobody has even asked about it.
I also would totally hang up a picture of myself at a convention if and when I got a permanent office that I felt comfortable decorating (right now, I'm an intern and my office is subject to being moved at a whim).
I live in the same city where I grew up, and lots of people here know who I am, and all my coworkers live locally.
Even so, I have gone out in public in fursuit or wearing a tail on multiple occasions. I'm not afraid to do so. As of yet, I've not run across a coworker while doing so, but even if I did, I am confident that I wouldn't lose my job over it. There might be some friendly teasing at work from some of my more jovial coworkers, but those ones are already aware that I attend fur cons anyways. (they just have never seen me in suit or with a tail on)
Even so, I'm not saying you have to do these things in public in order to be proud. All I'm saying is don't act like it's something that you need to hide. If you think "hey, it'd be cool if I hung a picture of my character on my apartment wall" and are stopped by thinking "But my friends/family/coworkers might see it and I'll be ruined!" then you're the type I'm talking about.
And we all struggle with this. Hell, I still do. I have a pile of artwork I want to hang up but haven't because my roommate doesn't really like me covering the walls of our shared apartment with furry stuff. I respect him, so I restrain myself. I still have 2 pictures hanging, and my personal corner of the main room has tons of furry stuff including badges and whatnot proudly displayed.
All I'm saying is don't be afraid to be yourself. If you are ashamed of who you are you do just as much damage to the public perception of furries as any media slam piece does. Because if you try to keep it a secret and some day you slip up and someone sees you have a browser open to FA or something, and your reaction is one of shame and horror, that's only going to make it worse for you.
If you react like it's no big deal, things are going to go far better for you. Because in the end, it ISNT that big of a deal. Furry is very important to me, personally, and I consider it more of a lifestyle than a hobby, but even so, it's not something to be ashamed of.
EDIT - I want to add to this a bit.
First of all, I'm not saying that everyone should go out and proudly announce to the world, "I'm a furry!" There's nothing wrong with keeping things to yourself or being private about your likes/dislikes.
What irritates me is when I see people act like Furry is this sexual thing that they need to keep under wraps for fear of "losing their job" or even legal repurcussions. If furry is nothing but sex to you, sure, keep it under wraps, but then don't bitch about it when you can't be as open as you might like about it.
If you, like me, don't consider furry just a sexual thing, then don't treat it as such. You can keep it as private as you like, but don't be afraid to do things that might make you happy. I'm talking about going out and meeting local furries, even in public places. Or maybe you've got that artwork of your character you've always wanted to show a close friend.... hang it up proudly! Don't hide it in a drawer somewhere (well, assuming it's not "THAT" kind of artwork. :P)
Just be yourself. If you let society control you and let things make you feel ashamed of who you are, you're part of the problem and you're hurting yourself AND those of us who want to be proud to be what we are by reinforcing stereotypes.
I'm sick and tired of people who act like furry is this big dark secret they have to hide from everyone around them, and then go and blame the media and whatever for them "having to hide themselves".
News flash people: If you hide being furry and act like it's a shameful thing, you REINFORCE the stereotype that furs are nothing but sexual deviants.
People say: "But I'd lose my job if they knew I was a fur!"
That's BUNK. Unless furry really IS nothing but a sexual fetish for you, and discussing it would be the same as discussing your love of chains and bondage at your job working with disabled children, then being a fur has NO reason to get you fired.
Furry is a hobby, or a lifestyle. Same as being a gamer, or a D&D nerd, or a computer techie, or an aviation nut, or whatever your chosen obsession and hobby is.
It should be no more shameful to say "Hey, I'm taking some time off in June to go to Anthrocon." than it is to say "Hey, I'm taking some time off in June to go to <Insert Auto-show here>"
Sure, it's a subculture, and yes, there's a preconception.
However, my point is that if you act ashamed of it, people will continue to see it as something that's deviant and interpret your shame as reinforcing their beliefs that furries are deviant and not normal.
Now, to clarify, there's a difference about being proud and unafraid of being a fur and being stupid.
I work in an office, and we have to wear ties to work every day but friday. I don't wear my fursuit or tail or anything like that to the office. However, I do carry with me a small pocketwatch that contains a picture of my character on my keychain, and I don't hide it when my manager comes around, everyone has seen it. Nobody has even asked about it.
I also would totally hang up a picture of myself at a convention if and when I got a permanent office that I felt comfortable decorating (right now, I'm an intern and my office is subject to being moved at a whim).
I live in the same city where I grew up, and lots of people here know who I am, and all my coworkers live locally.
Even so, I have gone out in public in fursuit or wearing a tail on multiple occasions. I'm not afraid to do so. As of yet, I've not run across a coworker while doing so, but even if I did, I am confident that I wouldn't lose my job over it. There might be some friendly teasing at work from some of my more jovial coworkers, but those ones are already aware that I attend fur cons anyways. (they just have never seen me in suit or with a tail on)
Even so, I'm not saying you have to do these things in public in order to be proud. All I'm saying is don't act like it's something that you need to hide. If you think "hey, it'd be cool if I hung a picture of my character on my apartment wall" and are stopped by thinking "But my friends/family/coworkers might see it and I'll be ruined!" then you're the type I'm talking about.
And we all struggle with this. Hell, I still do. I have a pile of artwork I want to hang up but haven't because my roommate doesn't really like me covering the walls of our shared apartment with furry stuff. I respect him, so I restrain myself. I still have 2 pictures hanging, and my personal corner of the main room has tons of furry stuff including badges and whatnot proudly displayed.
All I'm saying is don't be afraid to be yourself. If you are ashamed of who you are you do just as much damage to the public perception of furries as any media slam piece does. Because if you try to keep it a secret and some day you slip up and someone sees you have a browser open to FA or something, and your reaction is one of shame and horror, that's only going to make it worse for you.
If you react like it's no big deal, things are going to go far better for you. Because in the end, it ISNT that big of a deal. Furry is very important to me, personally, and I consider it more of a lifestyle than a hobby, but even so, it's not something to be ashamed of.
EDIT - I want to add to this a bit.
First of all, I'm not saying that everyone should go out and proudly announce to the world, "I'm a furry!" There's nothing wrong with keeping things to yourself or being private about your likes/dislikes.
What irritates me is when I see people act like Furry is this sexual thing that they need to keep under wraps for fear of "losing their job" or even legal repurcussions. If furry is nothing but sex to you, sure, keep it under wraps, but then don't bitch about it when you can't be as open as you might like about it.
If you, like me, don't consider furry just a sexual thing, then don't treat it as such. You can keep it as private as you like, but don't be afraid to do things that might make you happy. I'm talking about going out and meeting local furries, even in public places. Or maybe you've got that artwork of your character you've always wanted to show a close friend.... hang it up proudly! Don't hide it in a drawer somewhere (well, assuming it's not "THAT" kind of artwork. :P)
Just be yourself. If you let society control you and let things make you feel ashamed of who you are, you're part of the problem and you're hurting yourself AND those of us who want to be proud to be what we are by reinforcing stereotypes.
Finally feeling furry again.
Posted 13 years agoMan, this weekend has been great. 
neevipanda made the effort to drive all the way from Detroit Lakes, MN to Bismarck, ND to come spend the weekend with me, and it's been great.
I'm finally feeling "furry" again. I haven't felt like this since Anthrocon, for a few reasons. It's good to finally feel like some of the clouds in my life are at least breaking, if not lifting.
It's amazing how much a few good friends, and a fox costume can make me feel more "alive".
I actually stopped and "thanked" my fursuit as it stared back at me tonight after our outing. It really is a thing that brings me a great deal of happiness, I can't even explain it.
Hopefully will get to the MNFur picnic next week as well, so more fursuiting will be in order. :3
neevipanda made the effort to drive all the way from Detroit Lakes, MN to Bismarck, ND to come spend the weekend with me, and it's been great.I'm finally feeling "furry" again. I haven't felt like this since Anthrocon, for a few reasons. It's good to finally feel like some of the clouds in my life are at least breaking, if not lifting.
It's amazing how much a few good friends, and a fox costume can make me feel more "alive".
I actually stopped and "thanked" my fursuit as it stared back at me tonight after our outing. It really is a thing that brings me a great deal of happiness, I can't even explain it.
Hopefully will get to the MNFur picnic next week as well, so more fursuiting will be in order. :3
Bismarck Furs - Meet this weekend?
Posted 13 years ago neevipanda is going to be staying at my place this weekend. Figure if any other furs in the Bismarck area want to meet up at Perkins sometime we can all hang out.I don't have enough space in my apt for everyone to hang out here, so we'd have to go out somewhere.
Contact me if you're interested, you all have my messengers and stuff.
Streaming games - EVE Online - FINISHED
Posted 13 years agoOk decided to give this a try. If anyone wants to watch me play EVE, feel free to join.
http://www.livestream.com/artemisdragmire
EDIT - Done for now. Will try this again in the future I think.
http://www.livestream.com/artemisdragmire
EDIT - Done for now. Will try this again in the future I think.
Strike one victory for the enemy today.
Posted 13 years agoApple, the latest in megacorporations with shitty products and a determination to stifle creativity and innovation in the tech world just scored a victory that will help them in their cause:
http://apple.slashdot.org/story/12/.....e-of-1-billion
I'm sure there'll be an appeal. This will probably go straight to the SCOTUS in a few years.
Meanwhile, Google is taking up arms against Apple as well, and I hope they have better luck than Samsung did in this rigged trial less than 10 miles from Apple's HQ (biased jury anyone?).
In the meantime, I'll continue doing what I've done for years. Boycotting the corrupt and evil megacorp that is Apple. I own ONE Apple product, and that's an old old OLD 40gb iPod that I regret buying (it's never worked correctly, I literally have to beat it to get it to work).
I urge everyone to do the same. Don't buy into Apple's bullshit. Don't use the iTunes store. Don't buy an iPad, iPod or other i-Shit they try to peddle to you.
http://apple.slashdot.org/story/12/.....e-of-1-billion
I'm sure there'll be an appeal. This will probably go straight to the SCOTUS in a few years.
Meanwhile, Google is taking up arms against Apple as well, and I hope they have better luck than Samsung did in this rigged trial less than 10 miles from Apple's HQ (biased jury anyone?).
In the meantime, I'll continue doing what I've done for years. Boycotting the corrupt and evil megacorp that is Apple. I own ONE Apple product, and that's an old old OLD 40gb iPod that I regret buying (it's never worked correctly, I literally have to beat it to get it to work).
I urge everyone to do the same. Don't buy into Apple's bullshit. Don't use the iTunes store. Don't buy an iPad, iPod or other i-Shit they try to peddle to you.
Veto Corp...
Posted 13 years agohttp://veto.get-no.de/viewtopic.php?t=27483
I'm going to miss the times I spent together with these guys. The community is sticking around, but still, today is a sad day.
I know most people here aren't going to understand one bit what this is about, and that's ok. All you need to know is that Veto is an important group to me, and that I'm sad to see it end.
I got something in my eye...
I'm going to miss the times I spent together with these guys. The community is sticking around, but still, today is a sad day.
I know most people here aren't going to understand one bit what this is about, and that's ok. All you need to know is that Veto is an important group to me, and that I'm sad to see it end.
I got something in my eye...
Doing a bit better
Posted 13 years agoSome friends have helped me out, and while I'm still working through my issues, I'm doing a bit better overall.
Thanks to those of you who helped. You know who you are. :)
It's not over yet, and I may relapse back into a shitty state at any time, but that's just life.
For now though, I think I'll be okay.
Thanks to those of you who helped. You know who you are. :)
It's not over yet, and I may relapse back into a shitty state at any time, but that's just life.
For now though, I think I'll be okay.
Emotional Shitstorm
Posted 13 years agoThings keep getting worse for me.
For any of those who still don't know, in the past 3-4 months I've managed to:
- Choose the wrong relationship, which ended not too long ago, destroying that relationship and another one.
- Anger lots of friends
- Get betrayed by a close friend
Now I'm alone. And the best advice I've gotten is for me to stop trying and just accept that I'll be that way for the immediate future. That seems like the best course of action, at least then I won't hurt anyone else.
I'm re-evaluating my position on a lot of things.
It's hard to stay positive through this, I'm trying not to rant here as I do enough of that.
I think I'm just probably not someone who deserves a mate in the end. Casual sexual friends, maybe, but a dedicated mate? Doesn't seem to be something I deserve.
For any of those who still don't know, in the past 3-4 months I've managed to:
- Choose the wrong relationship, which ended not too long ago, destroying that relationship and another one.
- Anger lots of friends
- Get betrayed by a close friend
Now I'm alone. And the best advice I've gotten is for me to stop trying and just accept that I'll be that way for the immediate future. That seems like the best course of action, at least then I won't hurt anyone else.
I'm re-evaluating my position on a lot of things.
It's hard to stay positive through this, I'm trying not to rant here as I do enough of that.
I think I'm just probably not someone who deserves a mate in the end. Casual sexual friends, maybe, but a dedicated mate? Doesn't seem to be something I deserve.
Anthrocon 2012 - Let's Be Animals
Posted 13 years agoMy Anthrocon 2012 video is uploaded and available on youtube to watch. Take a look, let me know what you think!
Also -- there's a small distortion at 02:16 that is not in the source video. Anyone know how I'd fix that?
Also -- there's a small distortion at 02:16 that is not in the source video. Anyone know how I'd fix that?
If my fursona was a... (meme)
Posted 13 years agoStole this meme from 
Ifus -- It looked like fun so I had to go fill it out for myself. :)
1.) If your fursona had to be a primate, it'd be: I'll go with a lemur, since it's about the only non-horrifying primate out there, in my opinion.
2.) If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be: a snow leopard. They're so pretty. :)
3.) If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be: Since I am a canine I'll narrow this to "domestic canine" -- I'd probably go with german shepherd or blue heeler.
4.) If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be: A horse. Other than horses I don't really like that many hoofed creatures, personally.
5.) If your fursona had to be a rodent, it'd be: A rat.
6.) If your fursona had to be reptile, it'd be: Komodo dragon
7.) If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be: I was going to say Kangaroo and be boring, but since I stole this from Ifus she gave me the idea of Thylacine and I think I'll go with that. Such pretty creatures. :)
8.) If your fursona had to be a fish, it'd be: Ugh, fish? Can I pick dolphin? Not a fish... but whatevs.
9.) If your fursona had to be an amphibian, it'd be: Salamander. They're so cute!
10.) If your fursona had to be an avian/bird, it'd be: pergrine falcon
11.) If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be: Ant.
12.) If your fursona had to be a hybrid, it'd be: Fox / Snow Leopard. I just want to see this drawn. Would be so pretty.
13.) If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be: Dragon... dur. :P
14.) If your fursona had to be a Pokémon, it'd be: Jolteon!!!
15.) If your fursona had to be a plant, it'd be: A tree? I dunno a damn thing about plants.
Ifus -- It looked like fun so I had to go fill it out for myself. :)1.) If your fursona had to be a primate, it'd be: I'll go with a lemur, since it's about the only non-horrifying primate out there, in my opinion.
2.) If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be: a snow leopard. They're so pretty. :)
3.) If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be: Since I am a canine I'll narrow this to "domestic canine" -- I'd probably go with german shepherd or blue heeler.
4.) If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be: A horse. Other than horses I don't really like that many hoofed creatures, personally.
5.) If your fursona had to be a rodent, it'd be: A rat.
6.) If your fursona had to be reptile, it'd be: Komodo dragon
7.) If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be: I was going to say Kangaroo and be boring, but since I stole this from
Ifus she gave me the idea of Thylacine and I think I'll go with that. Such pretty creatures. :)8.) If your fursona had to be a fish, it'd be: Ugh, fish? Can I pick dolphin? Not a fish... but whatevs.
9.) If your fursona had to be an amphibian, it'd be: Salamander. They're so cute!
10.) If your fursona had to be an avian/bird, it'd be: pergrine falcon
11.) If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be: Ant.
12.) If your fursona had to be a hybrid, it'd be: Fox / Snow Leopard. I just want to see this drawn. Would be so pretty.
13.) If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be: Dragon... dur. :P
14.) If your fursona had to be a Pokémon, it'd be: Jolteon!!!
15.) If your fursona had to be a plant, it'd be: A tree? I dunno a damn thing about plants.
Really struggling making my Anthrocon Video - Suggest Songs?
Posted 13 years agoSo I start and stop making my video for AC. I have a fair amount of footage, some good, some not so good. I can probably easily make 5-10 minutes of video out of it.
The problem is, I can't find a good song to set it to.
Part of the problem is that the music I listen to is generally power metal type stuff. I want something very upbeat and happy for a furry video, something you can almost sing along with, you know?
Here are some examples of other furry vids that I really like that have music in the style I'm looking for:
My own video, MNFurs Spring Picnic 2012:
Revit and Duke's "Anthrocon Fursuits - I Like How It Feels"
Hangover ft. Furries by Revit:
Midwest Furfest 2011 Music Video by Skrat:
Fursuiting: For the Kids and the Kid in All of Us by lionking300:
Furry for Five by SkuffCoyote:
The problem is, I can't find a good song to set it to.
Part of the problem is that the music I listen to is generally power metal type stuff. I want something very upbeat and happy for a furry video, something you can almost sing along with, you know?
Here are some examples of other furry vids that I really like that have music in the style I'm looking for:
My own video, MNFurs Spring Picnic 2012:
Revit and Duke's "Anthrocon Fursuits - I Like How It Feels"
Hangover ft. Furries by Revit:
Midwest Furfest 2011 Music Video by Skrat:
Fursuiting: For the Kids and the Kid in All of Us by lionking300:
Furry for Five by SkuffCoyote:
