Many of my friends are getting awesome commissions from artists that aren't open to taking on new customers... That being said, I'm looking to get some commissions done for my fursona Laoch, the winged unicorn zebra. There are a couple of very specific ideas in my mind for pieces I'd like to do, and there are some that are just... Open to interpretation? I'm willing to give a full breakdown of Laoch, his personality, backstory, ect. Whatever may help an artist get an idea of how to draw him.

Not really into the whole YCH thing, especially involving multiple random characters. If you know any artists willing to take on new commissions? Hit me up!

You ever just, look back at the profiles of old friends... Some you haven't seen nor heard from in 10+ years? Like a time capsule... All the memories just frozen there, not moving. Ever wonder where they are at? How they're doing?

I find myself constantly doing that... And wondering if they, in their life now, do the same to my old and abandoned profiles... Some of them I've been able to find and get in contact... But many more, sadly, seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth... Hmmm...

I guess I can only hope that they're doing well, especially when I know 10, 15 years ago? I wasn't. Back then I was a bit of a monster, but not by choice... I had some severe mental disorders that went undiagnosed. I'm better now, taking meds and seeing psychs regularly to make sure I keep it at bay. Just... Wish I caught it sooner. Maybe then I'd never have lost contact with those friends in the first place...

Do you like BASS? EDM? Hardstyle? A good time? Head on over to Club Genesis in Second Life! Wednesday, June 7th @ 6:00 PM PST (9:00 PM EST) for great music, great vibes, and friends you'll have for life! I'll be your starting DJ for the night, but don't worry! We've got tons of great artists, producers and DJs here to entertain you! Follow the link below to join up!

https://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Secret%20Charm/158/72/22

Never heard of Second Life before? Don't have an account? Click the link below to find out more!

https://www.secondlife.com/

If those of you notice a change in my behavior, yet another one of my friends has passed away. I found this out yesterday, and didn't believe it as at first the source's legitimacy was in question. I found out from someone who knows them personally RL, that yes. They had. The source of the information had gotten it wrong, apparently they had shattered their leg. Something I knew, but with that, an undiagnosed blood clot formed, and remained hidden. Nobody knew until they were released from the hospital, they died three days later.... It's rough... There's been a lot of death in my life the past 3 years between family and friends alike... I'm kinda starting to lose it a little, won't lie... If I'm silent, or acting different, I'm just going through the process...

 kurrutheraccoon ... I will miss you... So much...

Musically. Be creative, not objective.

What do I mean by this? Well. Simple.

I personally think joining that music contest is a very rich joke. But if you want a piece of that? Don't be objective about your music.

One minute is a joke. I HIGHLY disagree with that, I even disagree with Radio's 3 minute unwritten rule. Which is why I also never shoot for radio play. But I digress.

Write something about you. Make it be you. Don't try to make it specifically to impress anyone. You'll just be their puppet then.

If you participate in that contest, be creative. Not objective.

So. The other day I re-discovered Punk O Matic 2. It's basically part game, part music creation software thing? You can basically take pre-recorded segments, and fit them together to form a song. I also discovered a mod which allows you to record new segments, and add them into the game itself.

That being said, I'm coming up with a project. I won't reveal too many details yet as it's still in early processes. But it'll not only re-vamp this channel, but give an entire series for me to focus my artistic skills on.

Now the apology: I haven't been around, and I haven't had word one of how I'm doing and I'm sorry for that.

Truth is? I had part bad, and part good. The bad news is, I ended up going homeless for a little bit. The worse news? I was sick during it. However, I ended up getting into a safe place. I'm fine now. I'm just working on getting back on my feet. I'm stable enough now that I can focus on projects once again, and I'll have some new stuff out very soon.

But I shouldn't have just ignored this, as I found out there actually are people that follow me who actually care about me. That being said, I apologize to you specifically for making you worry. And in the future, if anything bad were to happen. Hell, if anything good happens, if I need to take a break for whatever reason? I'll be sure to post updates, so that way everyone's in the loop.

And thank you for caring. It means a lot to me. I often think I'm just a shadow creeping about the internet, no one notices, no one cares. But this made me realize there are people who actually care, and I'm deeply, deeply thankful for that.

That being said, I'll be working on this new project. Expect updates in the form of Journals before actual piece releases, maybe hints at what it is even. I'll get better at posting updates, especially now that I feel less like that shadow.

Cheers all! I hope your holidays are going swell!

After a very relaxing past couple days, and strangely... Feeling loved and appreciated for the first time in what seems like forever by my wonderful pack I call my family now, I've recovered from the depression...

I've kinda of come to terms with the fact that I need to finally let things go. Otherwise, it hinders my own growth as a person... The event that dramatically changed my life, for better or worse, is almost 6 years ago on the 21st and... Well... It was 6 years ago... I need to come to terms with it, I need to face the reality of it, and I need to move on. I can't keep allowing this cloud to loom over my head, filling me with the burden of guilt... I need to let go... I need to let HIM go...

I still miss him. I still remember how he smelled, I still remember every word, every sigh, every gasp. His feel. But he's no longer here. And there isn't any getting him back... His decision was his to make... I still get depressed... I still get angry with him... But I need to move on, suffering is caused when someone holds onto their pain. I need to stop suffering...

My pack helped me through this recent wave, one especially in particular. And if you read this, you know who you are. Thank you. Thank you to all of you. You all have shown me the type of people you truly are, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it, and how honored I am to be considered part of your pack.

Been incredibly depressed. Been seeking someone who just connects with. Not even a relationship thing, I'm already married. But the problem is, he doesn't truly "get" me... And it's all starting to stack and stack and stack. And I'd love to just be in the arms of someone who truly understands me, who fully gets me, who can speak to my soul when they say, "It'll be okay", and I will believe it.

That disappeared from my life rather violently several years ago... It still bothers me... I can't get it out of my head, those last words....

Sometimes I just feel old. I'm not that old, but I feel it. My body just wants me to lay down one final time. As if it has had enough.

I dunno... Maybe my ex had the right idea...

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for my absence to those who are watching my page. I'm not dead yet.

It's just the epidemic has hit my life hard. Thankfully, I haven't gotten Covid, but the pandemic certainly hit hard. Costing me my job among other things.

I've just been going through the wringer both mentally and emotionally. I don't often talk about my feelings, rather keep it to myself so I'll be brief: I just don't have the energy to make music, nor do I have the inspiration to make anything other than angry or sad songs... The few I have made just aren't really all that good.

I might be uploading again soon though. As things have started turning around. Albiet slowly.

The only thing I can say is: Stay safe. Wear your masks. Get vaccinated as soon as you can. Stay clean. It's not worth it to get sick.