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Something I need to say
General | Posted 9 years agoIt is both difficult as well as cathartic for me to write this. It is one of "those personal" journals... so I won't take it personally if you decide to skip it and tl;dr.
For many that are close enough to have me open up to them... they may (or may not) realize that I have fought the monster that is depression for over 20 years. It has affected my friendships, my actions, my work, my hobbies, and pretty much everything throughout my life. A lot of the times it helps to talk about it with friends, but a good many of my friends do not live near me... and it takes special planning just to visit them. I don't get the chance much of the time to actually talk to people about these issues, and after going through many hoops to visit people... the last thing I want to do is to show up and "be negative"... so I usually end up putting a smile on my face keeping things to myself. I try not to be "that guy" whom only speaks of himself and his problems; I try to offer an ear instead... to be there for others. This as well as my own problems wear on me mentally, and it builds up to cycle-starting "crash" events. This can be outwardly reflected by withdrawn, dismissive, angry, or morose behaviours... and it often pushes people further away perpetuating the cycle to worse degrees.
At one point of my life many years ago when I still lived in Alaska I had even contemplated ending it all were I not talked down (and hit upside the head) by a good friend (whom I've sadly lost contact with over time). That is how bad things can get, and I know it all too well. This is why I strive with every fibre of my being to not let things get that bad again. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that because I've had thoughts like that recently; I've not gotten this bad since that event so long ago. I just wanted to note that I have fought mental demons most of my life, and I have seen some of the worst aspects of it myself as well as in others I have known and cared about... ... ... including some no longer with us that have succumbed to those demons. Every little and big thing affects me whether I realize it or not, and I have to deal with it or I mentally explode... lashing out at myself, others, or just things around me.
I go through depression cycles... sometimes I can catch myself, and sometimes I cannot. The times I cannot... I have lost friends over it, and it pains me so much. I realize it is not all about me, and that not every friend has walked away because of things like this. Some just went a different direction, some simply lost contact and moved on, some were just silly unresolved misunderstandings, and some... well some I have no idea. I move on... I have to.
I know there are many people and friends out there that care about me whether or not I realize it at the time, and that thought helps. I do the same for others when I can. I would do nearly anything to help someone out were I able to. I value people not only as friends, but also as just people themselves. I expect nothing in return, and that is how I was brought up. I love to give and do things for others, but I have a really difficult time asking for things myself. I love to gift things, but I have an awkward time when someone tries to gift me... and so on.
I've come a long way over the years working on myself socially... trying to open up to people, make new friends, and have conversations. Still there is a lot of work to do with shyness, awkwardness, and just being myself... much of which is fallout that stems once again from depressive behaviour cycles.
These cycles are not just triggered by interpersonal relationships... sometimes they are affected by weather and seasons, stress from home, stress from work, money, worries, taking on too much, and etc. I cannot effectively predict when a cycle will hit, how long it will last, or how bad it will be. I just have to try to deal with it, and in some cases try to talk to people about it.
Where am I going with all of this? Over the past several months I have been fighting with it again in yet another cycle. What triggered it this time? I don't even know... probably stress and a few other things off the top of my head (I won't go into them... as there is no benefit to dwell and write about). I have been withdrawing once again from people, groups, hobbies, outdoors, and online things in general. People think that I am ignoring them, and say hurtful things because they misunderstand... I withdraw more. I start to feel that everyone, everything, and even entire groups are against me... I withdraw even further.
I go from work to home to sleep to work again in seemingly infinite drudgery. I have not even gotten fuzzy since the BLFC and Furlandia conventions earlier this year. My birthday came and went... I made sure to be with friends during that time, but the demons made it difficult to see the fun and really enjoy things. I just haven't had the drive to do... anything.
Those that suffer will know exactly what I'm talking about. It is difficult to explain fully, but it affects everything... it...clouds... Everything. It makes something fun into another bad time regardless if anything bad happened or not... it is a filter... a negative perception veil of things around me. What seems to others like I am just hiding, keeping to myself, and being anti-social are most likely me trying to deal with these negative feelings... and trying not put a damper on others' fun time.
I will overcome this... I know... it will pass, but it does not make it suck any less.
I try to force myself to leave the house at least once a week if I can just to get out and feel normal... even if it is just hanging out with a friend at a pub... it is something... and it really does help. I travel to other places such as California, Washington, and even Canada as changes in scenery and people around me assist greatly with recovery. I cannot say enough just how much I care for my few friends, that I appreciate what they do, and how much they really help... even if I cannot always verbalize it.
For those that wonder what's wrong with me... I guess if you read this you'll know much of it. I'm an imperfect person like everyone else... I just have to fight a bit harder than some toward zen.
This will pass... it will happen again... and that too will pass. Each time I try to learn more about myself, and I strive to improve things as to minimize these issues in the future.
I have plenty more to say, but I will save that for another conversation. This is not a call for help, nor is it a "plz feelz for meeee" post... I should really keep a personal journal to write on instead, but It just feels good to type this out especially with the perceived lack of people around me to talk to. Who knows... perhaps there are a couple on here that are genuinely curious, and they want to know. Whatever the reasons you are reading this are... I hope it gives a bit of insight into what might be bothering me. Just trust and bear with me. I... we'll... make it through this.
I do question myself whether or not I should actually hit the Create Journal button. Perhaps it is for the best though I finally say something.
For many that are close enough to have me open up to them... they may (or may not) realize that I have fought the monster that is depression for over 20 years. It has affected my friendships, my actions, my work, my hobbies, and pretty much everything throughout my life. A lot of the times it helps to talk about it with friends, but a good many of my friends do not live near me... and it takes special planning just to visit them. I don't get the chance much of the time to actually talk to people about these issues, and after going through many hoops to visit people... the last thing I want to do is to show up and "be negative"... so I usually end up putting a smile on my face keeping things to myself. I try not to be "that guy" whom only speaks of himself and his problems; I try to offer an ear instead... to be there for others. This as well as my own problems wear on me mentally, and it builds up to cycle-starting "crash" events. This can be outwardly reflected by withdrawn, dismissive, angry, or morose behaviours... and it often pushes people further away perpetuating the cycle to worse degrees.
At one point of my life many years ago when I still lived in Alaska I had even contemplated ending it all were I not talked down (and hit upside the head) by a good friend (whom I've sadly lost contact with over time). That is how bad things can get, and I know it all too well. This is why I strive with every fibre of my being to not let things get that bad again. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that because I've had thoughts like that recently; I've not gotten this bad since that event so long ago. I just wanted to note that I have fought mental demons most of my life, and I have seen some of the worst aspects of it myself as well as in others I have known and cared about... ... ... including some no longer with us that have succumbed to those demons. Every little and big thing affects me whether I realize it or not, and I have to deal with it or I mentally explode... lashing out at myself, others, or just things around me.
I go through depression cycles... sometimes I can catch myself, and sometimes I cannot. The times I cannot... I have lost friends over it, and it pains me so much. I realize it is not all about me, and that not every friend has walked away because of things like this. Some just went a different direction, some simply lost contact and moved on, some were just silly unresolved misunderstandings, and some... well some I have no idea. I move on... I have to.
I know there are many people and friends out there that care about me whether or not I realize it at the time, and that thought helps. I do the same for others when I can. I would do nearly anything to help someone out were I able to. I value people not only as friends, but also as just people themselves. I expect nothing in return, and that is how I was brought up. I love to give and do things for others, but I have a really difficult time asking for things myself. I love to gift things, but I have an awkward time when someone tries to gift me... and so on.
I've come a long way over the years working on myself socially... trying to open up to people, make new friends, and have conversations. Still there is a lot of work to do with shyness, awkwardness, and just being myself... much of which is fallout that stems once again from depressive behaviour cycles.
These cycles are not just triggered by interpersonal relationships... sometimes they are affected by weather and seasons, stress from home, stress from work, money, worries, taking on too much, and etc. I cannot effectively predict when a cycle will hit, how long it will last, or how bad it will be. I just have to try to deal with it, and in some cases try to talk to people about it.
Where am I going with all of this? Over the past several months I have been fighting with it again in yet another cycle. What triggered it this time? I don't even know... probably stress and a few other things off the top of my head (I won't go into them... as there is no benefit to dwell and write about). I have been withdrawing once again from people, groups, hobbies, outdoors, and online things in general. People think that I am ignoring them, and say hurtful things because they misunderstand... I withdraw more. I start to feel that everyone, everything, and even entire groups are against me... I withdraw even further.
I go from work to home to sleep to work again in seemingly infinite drudgery. I have not even gotten fuzzy since the BLFC and Furlandia conventions earlier this year. My birthday came and went... I made sure to be with friends during that time, but the demons made it difficult to see the fun and really enjoy things. I just haven't had the drive to do... anything.
Those that suffer will know exactly what I'm talking about. It is difficult to explain fully, but it affects everything... it...clouds... Everything. It makes something fun into another bad time regardless if anything bad happened or not... it is a filter... a negative perception veil of things around me. What seems to others like I am just hiding, keeping to myself, and being anti-social are most likely me trying to deal with these negative feelings... and trying not put a damper on others' fun time.
I will overcome this... I know... it will pass, but it does not make it suck any less.
I try to force myself to leave the house at least once a week if I can just to get out and feel normal... even if it is just hanging out with a friend at a pub... it is something... and it really does help. I travel to other places such as California, Washington, and even Canada as changes in scenery and people around me assist greatly with recovery. I cannot say enough just how much I care for my few friends, that I appreciate what they do, and how much they really help... even if I cannot always verbalize it.
For those that wonder what's wrong with me... I guess if you read this you'll know much of it. I'm an imperfect person like everyone else... I just have to fight a bit harder than some toward zen.
This will pass... it will happen again... and that too will pass. Each time I try to learn more about myself, and I strive to improve things as to minimize these issues in the future.
I have plenty more to say, but I will save that for another conversation. This is not a call for help, nor is it a "plz feelz for meeee" post... I should really keep a personal journal to write on instead, but It just feels good to type this out especially with the perceived lack of people around me to talk to. Who knows... perhaps there are a couple on here that are genuinely curious, and they want to know. Whatever the reasons you are reading this are... I hope it gives a bit of insight into what might be bothering me. Just trust and bear with me. I... we'll... make it through this.
I do question myself whether or not I should actually hit the Create Journal button. Perhaps it is for the best though I finally say something.
Another year
General | Posted 9 years agoHard to believe it is almost the 15th of July already... a yearly reminder of time passing. Where did it all go? What is to come? Only more time will tell. The only absolute is this dragon moves forward from hatching yet another year, the nixie clock in my mind shows a new number, and the world keeps spinning.
Growf !!
Growf !!
BLFC Meme Journal
General | Posted 9 years agoWhere are you staying?
Con Hotel: Grand Sierra Resort
What day are you getting there?
Thursday evening/night
How are you traveling?
Caravaning with Dandylions Cru
Who will you be rooming with?
Dandylions Cru
Who will you be hanging out with?
Anyone fun to hang out with and chat with etc. Especially looking forward to meeting more dragons ^-^
How is the best way to find you?
Twitter or Telegram: @DarkkAFN
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Dragons, fursuit, inflatables, and etc. Haven't seen the schedule yet
Will you be suiting?
Yes. I'll have both Darkk and Belar with me this time. I don't think the 3rd one will be done by then.
Do you do art?
Art is not my forte'. I'm on the commissioning side of things
What is your gender?
Male!
How tall are you?
5'10"
Can I talk to you?
Of course you can!
Can I touch you?
Do I know you?
Can I visit your room?
Do I know you?
Can I buy you drinks?
Oh hell yeah! Can't say that's ever happened before though, lol
Can I give you stuff?
I'm usually the one giving stuff; I'm not used to receiving things. I'd probably be floored in surprise.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Do I know you?
Are you nice?
Most of the time I'm very friendly
Do you have an artist table?
Not an artist
Will you be going to parties?
I hope to catch at least one this time. I get nervous and shy with lots of people around, but I'm trying to get over that
Will you be performing?
Fursuiting is Always performing
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come say hi. I'm shy, but I do love to meet people.
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
I wander aimlessly a lot; I'll probably be between the convention space and the blackjack tables a lot :)
What/where will you be eating?
I'll probably be eating wherever I can find a group of friends eating
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Maybe; I'll have to see ^-^
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Sure
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Sure
Can I take your picture?
Am I wearing fur or scales? If so, than Yes :)
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To have a great time!
Con Hotel: Grand Sierra Resort
What day are you getting there?
Thursday evening/night
How are you traveling?
Caravaning with Dandylions Cru
Who will you be rooming with?
Dandylions Cru
Who will you be hanging out with?
Anyone fun to hang out with and chat with etc. Especially looking forward to meeting more dragons ^-^
How is the best way to find you?
Twitter or Telegram: @DarkkAFN
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Dragons, fursuit, inflatables, and etc. Haven't seen the schedule yet
Will you be suiting?
Yes. I'll have both Darkk and Belar with me this time. I don't think the 3rd one will be done by then.
Do you do art?
Art is not my forte'. I'm on the commissioning side of things
What is your gender?
Male!
How tall are you?
5'10"
Can I talk to you?
Of course you can!
Can I touch you?
Do I know you?
Can I visit your room?
Do I know you?
Can I buy you drinks?
Oh hell yeah! Can't say that's ever happened before though, lol
Can I give you stuff?
I'm usually the one giving stuff; I'm not used to receiving things. I'd probably be floored in surprise.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Do I know you?
Are you nice?
Most of the time I'm very friendly
Do you have an artist table?
Not an artist
Will you be going to parties?
I hope to catch at least one this time. I get nervous and shy with lots of people around, but I'm trying to get over that
Will you be performing?
Fursuiting is Always performing
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come say hi. I'm shy, but I do love to meet people.
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
I wander aimlessly a lot; I'll probably be between the convention space and the blackjack tables a lot :)
What/where will you be eating?
I'll probably be eating wherever I can find a group of friends eating
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Maybe; I'll have to see ^-^
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Sure
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Sure
Can I take your picture?
Am I wearing fur or scales? If so, than Yes :)
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To have a great time!
Off to Sakura-Con
General | Posted 9 years agoAfter work tomorrow I will be heading north once again to staff the wonderful Asian culture convention known as Sakura-Con at the Washington Convention Center in Seattle. I'll be up from Thursday to Sunday this week, and I look forward to bumping into any friends that might be attending or hanging about the area.
Also as a side note I have removed the Furlandia convention from my list as I am no longer associated with staff at that event due to ... management issues. I am still on the fence at even attending at this point, but having a comp from working last year and also not living too far away from the event... ... I may show up to see how things turned out. We'll see.
Anyway, see y'all in Seattle this week!
Also as a side note I have removed the Furlandia convention from my list as I am no longer associated with staff at that event due to ... management issues. I am still on the fence at even attending at this point, but having a comp from working last year and also not living too far away from the event... ... I may show up to see how things turned out. We'll see.
Anyway, see y'all in Seattle this week!
Off to VF
General | Posted 10 years agoJust about ready to leave the office and head home. Getting packed this evening, and I will be off and up out to Vancoufur tomorrow morning.
Darkk and Belar should be present at con... so be sure to look around for them :)
Hope to see y'all there!
Darkk and Belar should be present at con... so be sure to look around for them :)
Hope to see y'all there!
Convention Updates
General | Posted 10 years agoNext month is going to be a busy month for me. Vancoufur is coming up soon, and with the excellent exchange rates while they are where they are I elected to go Patron for the first time ever. I already have my room and ride arranged, and so I will be there for sure.
Later in March is Sakura Con in Seattle, and once again I will be working for the membership services department. Darkk might even make an appearance there too if we can fit my giant wings through the door again :)
May is going to be another busy month as I will have BLFC to attend (thanks to Kijani and the crew at When Furballs Strike up in Washington I have my basic membership costs covered due to winning one of the fabulous prizes at the event).
Later in May is Portland's local convention Furlandia which is poised to be even bigger than before. Once again I will be working staff at this convention, and this year I have been involved from the very beginning. Look for me in registration or helping out with security. If you are not local... then come and experience Portland, and definitely give Furlandia another chance.
I look forward to seeing everyone again!
Cheers
Later in March is Sakura Con in Seattle, and once again I will be working for the membership services department. Darkk might even make an appearance there too if we can fit my giant wings through the door again :)
May is going to be another busy month as I will have BLFC to attend (thanks to Kijani and the crew at When Furballs Strike up in Washington I have my basic membership costs covered due to winning one of the fabulous prizes at the event).
Later in May is Portland's local convention Furlandia which is poised to be even bigger than before. Once again I will be working staff at this convention, and this year I have been involved from the very beginning. Look for me in registration or helping out with security. If you are not local... then come and experience Portland, and definitely give Furlandia another chance.
I look forward to seeing everyone again!
Cheers
Article
General | Posted 10 years agoBreaking my silence real quick...
There is an interesting article from The Stranger posted just today about the author's visit to Rainfurrest this year. Of the 4 pictures posted in the article it seems that Belar made one of them... yay.
It's kind of a neat article from an 'outsiders' perspective. Give it a look.
http://www.thestranger.com/features.....ange-your-life
edit:
Wow... I knew Belar was in there, but I JUST noticed that I'm in the article's main picture as well... out of suit... (look behind the donkey's shoulder) ^-^;
There is an interesting article from The Stranger posted just today about the author's visit to Rainfurrest this year. Of the 4 pictures posted in the article it seems that Belar made one of them... yay.
It's kind of a neat article from an 'outsiders' perspective. Give it a look.
http://www.thestranger.com/features.....ange-your-life
edit:
Wow... I knew Belar was in there, but I JUST noticed that I'm in the article's main picture as well... out of suit... (look behind the donkey's shoulder) ^-^;
Si-laance
General | Posted 10 years agoI may be a bit silent for a couple weeks as I work extra hard to recover from a rather painful IRS audit. This was not my fault, but nevertheless I'm on the hook for over 1000$ of fees due by the end of the month with no way out of it.
I will recover, and I will get this fixed. Stay fuzzy y'all.
I will recover, and I will get this fixed. Stay fuzzy y'all.
Meme for Rainfurrest 2015
General | Posted 10 years agoWhere are you staying?
Hilton
What day are you getting there?
Thursday
How are you traveling?
Driving Up... My wings are too tired
Who will you be rooming with?
, and one other...can't remember name... I'm bad with names :(
How is the best way to find you?
Twitter, Telegram, and spotting me in the hallway
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Not many, but if there are dragons... then I'll probably be there :)
What do you look like?
I've been called 'the guy with the hat' by many... I'm bad with describing myself... so just look for a conbadge
Will you be suiting?
Damn right!
Do you do free art?
On like... paper? Err... I rather fail in the art department
What is your gender?
Male
How tall are you?
5'10"
Can I talk to you?
I'm very shy around large groups, but please engage conversation. I really do enjoy chatting
Can I touch you?
Umm... ask. Unless I'm suiting... then by all means hug away
Can I visit your room?
Why would you ever wanna see that? Its exactly the same as Your room ^-^
Can I buy you drinks?
As long as its not a roofie colada
Can I give you stuff?
As long as its not the Stuff from that 1985 movie by Larry Cohen
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Friends... by all means. Otherwise if I'm suiting then... yeah hug away
Are you nice?
I'm a bit shy and spacey sometimes, but I'd like to think I'm nice... nice is subjective though :)
Do you have an artist table?
I've nothing to sell... that'd be kind of a waste
Will you be going to parties?
Maybe... it really depends on the invites
Will you be performing?
Suiting is always a performance, but as far as shows... umm... probably not. Still way too shy for that.
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come up to me and introduce yourself. Or just call out "Darkk!" if I'm not running off to something, somewhere, or someone
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
I'll most likely be hanging out with friends, or I'll just be wandering aimlessly around the con space
What/where will you be eating?
Considering where this con is... most likely a lot of Denny's and 7-11; that or wherever I'm dragged off to
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If there is room, and if you are invited along. Just ask, and we'll see.
Can I look in your sketchbook?
If I have one of them with me then sure
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
If I have one of them with me then sure
Can I take your picture?
If I'm suiting then go for it. If I'm out of suit I'll likely run and hide from cameras
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To have fun, see my friends again, and ogle all the dragons
Hilton
What day are you getting there?
Thursday
How are you traveling?
Driving Up... My wings are too tired
Who will you be rooming with?
, and one other...can't remember name... I'm bad with names :(How is the best way to find you?
Twitter, Telegram, and spotting me in the hallway
Are there any panels you might be attending?
Not many, but if there are dragons... then I'll probably be there :)
What do you look like?
I've been called 'the guy with the hat' by many... I'm bad with describing myself... so just look for a conbadge
Will you be suiting?
Damn right!
Do you do free art?
On like... paper? Err... I rather fail in the art department
What is your gender?
Male
How tall are you?
5'10"
Can I talk to you?
I'm very shy around large groups, but please engage conversation. I really do enjoy chatting
Can I touch you?
Umm... ask. Unless I'm suiting... then by all means hug away
Can I visit your room?
Why would you ever wanna see that? Its exactly the same as Your room ^-^
Can I buy you drinks?
As long as its not a roofie colada
Can I give you stuff?
As long as its not the Stuff from that 1985 movie by Larry Cohen
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Friends... by all means. Otherwise if I'm suiting then... yeah hug away
Are you nice?
I'm a bit shy and spacey sometimes, but I'd like to think I'm nice... nice is subjective though :)
Do you have an artist table?
I've nothing to sell... that'd be kind of a waste
Will you be going to parties?
Maybe... it really depends on the invites
Will you be performing?
Suiting is always a performance, but as far as shows... umm... probably not. Still way too shy for that.
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come up to me and introduce yourself. Or just call out "Darkk!" if I'm not running off to something, somewhere, or someone
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
I'll most likely be hanging out with friends, or I'll just be wandering aimlessly around the con space
What/where will you be eating?
Considering where this con is... most likely a lot of Denny's and 7-11; that or wherever I'm dragged off to
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If there is room, and if you are invited along. Just ask, and we'll see.
Can I look in your sketchbook?
If I have one of them with me then sure
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
If I have one of them with me then sure
Can I take your picture?
If I'm suiting then go for it. If I'm out of suit I'll likely run and hide from cameras
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To have fun, see my friends again, and ogle all the dragons
Hatchday
General | Posted 10 years agoHmm... my hatchday is next week. I should probably figure out what to do if anything other than work ^-^;
Travelling to San Francisco
General | Posted 10 years agoThis weekend I'll be leaving via Amtrak to San Francisco for work training stuff. I'll be arriving on Sunday the 28th, and I'll be staying in a hotel near the financial district until next Saturday the 4th. My class is out every day after 4:30 so if there are any friends in the area that wanna hang out and show a dragon around town when I'm not in class that'd be super-cool. Speaking of super-cool... I hope the temp won't be too awful hot whilst I'm down there or I'm gonna melt ^-^;
Cheers!
Cheers!
Furlandia
General | Posted 10 years agoFurlandia is a local convention, and I have no excuse to not be there now that I finally have confirmation of family things. I will be offering my time as staff this year to help out wherever they need me, and hopefully make this a better con this year and next.
If any watchers happen to be going to this con then I look forward to seeing y'all :)
If any watchers happen to be going to this con then I look forward to seeing y'all :)
BLFC and MEME
General | Posted 10 years agoIt's hard to believe that BLFC is only a week away. Really looking forward to next week. Will be driving down with a great group of friends on Thursday and we'll be staying at the con hotel until Monday. This will only be the second time in my life I'll have been to Reno, but the previous was so long ago that I barely remember... in fact the last time I was there... the con hotel had just changed their name from the MGM Grand a week before. So yeaaaah... it's been a while.
Anyways look for Darkk wandering around... if you see him feel free to take pictures or hug... don't worry he's friendly.
I may just have my dragon with me this time as it is not 100% certain that Belar will be finished in time.
PRE-BLFC MEME TIME!
Hotel
GSR
Arrival/Departure:
Arrive Thursday...sometime, Depart Monday.
Means of transportation:
Hard Drivin'
Sharing a room with:
Who do you hang out with?
I'm a bit shy and usually keep to people I know at first. Always willing to hang out with nice people though; I'm trying to be more outgoing
Gender:
DRAGON
Preference:
Varies
Relationship Status:
Mated, Open
How old are you?
Mid 30's
How tall are you?
5'10"
Are you an Artist?
With several weeks time and a lot of erasers... I 'can' draw a picture... but otherwise, no. My first job was a "sandwich artist" at Subway though... does that count? :)
Do you have a sketchbook?
Not with my own art, but with others'. The dragon sketchbook I've had since 2006 only has 7 blank pages left... I hope to fill this up soon.
Are you a Fursuiter?
Very yes
Which Fursuits will you bring?
Belar (if he's done in time) and of course Darkk
Can I ask to wear one of your suits?
I'd rather ye not
Would you wear one of my fursuits?
Depends who ya are, but I'd say sure
Attending parties?
I'll certainly try... just gotta get past my social shyness
Do you drink?
Socially and usually in moderation
Can I buy you a drink?
As long as it's not a roofie colada... then sure :)
Do you smoke?
Sometimes vape, but otherwise nope
Are you attending any panels?
If it's dragon related you can be sure I'll be in attendance
Stage or public performance?
Still really shy, and I wouldn't know what to do... but who knows... I may surprise myself some day
How do I identify my self to you?
Badges help... I'm the worst with names and faces so please bear with me
Rules of engagement (physical contact)?
Hug your friends close... and your really good friends even closer.
How can I find you?
Text me if you have my number, otherwise Twitter or FA note
Can I talk to you?
Sure. Just be aware that in suit I try not to speak unless I'm in polite company. Out of suit I can be a bit shy if I don't know ya. Don't take it personally... being around lots of people I don't know makes be anxious and I clam up.
Can I give you lots of money?
Depends on what the money is for o_O
Can I give you stuff?
I'm not used to getting gifts, but if you really want to.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
-repeated- Hug your friends close... and your really good friends even closer.
Can I come to dinner with you?
If I don't really know ya then have a chat with me, and we will see.
Can I invite you to dinner?
Of course
Can I hang out with you?
If I don't really know ya then have a chat with me, and we will see.
Can I take your picture?
Please pleeeeeease only when I'm in suit... out of suit you will steal my soul (I'm camera shy, and not very photogenic)
How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
I'd probably just be hanging out in my room if I didn't want to socialize
Personality Type?
Shy around people I don't know, and a bit anxious around large groups of people I don't know. Otherwise I'm trying to be more social and outgoing, and I welcome to opportunity to meet new friends and acquaintances.
What's your goal for the con this year?
Vacation, vacation, vacation... and I think there's some art in there too
Anyways look for Darkk wandering around... if you see him feel free to take pictures or hug... don't worry he's friendly.
I may just have my dragon with me this time as it is not 100% certain that Belar will be finished in time.
PRE-BLFC MEME TIME!
Hotel
GSR
Arrival/Departure:
Arrive Thursday...sometime, Depart Monday.
Means of transportation:
Hard Drivin'
Sharing a room with:
Who do you hang out with?
I'm a bit shy and usually keep to people I know at first. Always willing to hang out with nice people though; I'm trying to be more outgoing
Gender:
DRAGON
Preference:
Varies
Relationship Status:
Mated, Open
How old are you?
Mid 30's
How tall are you?
5'10"
Are you an Artist?
With several weeks time and a lot of erasers... I 'can' draw a picture... but otherwise, no. My first job was a "sandwich artist" at Subway though... does that count? :)
Do you have a sketchbook?
Not with my own art, but with others'. The dragon sketchbook I've had since 2006 only has 7 blank pages left... I hope to fill this up soon.
Are you a Fursuiter?
Very yes
Which Fursuits will you bring?
Belar (if he's done in time) and of course Darkk
Can I ask to wear one of your suits?
I'd rather ye not
Would you wear one of my fursuits?
Depends who ya are, but I'd say sure
Attending parties?
I'll certainly try... just gotta get past my social shyness
Do you drink?
Socially and usually in moderation
Can I buy you a drink?
As long as it's not a roofie colada... then sure :)
Do you smoke?
Sometimes vape, but otherwise nope
Are you attending any panels?
If it's dragon related you can be sure I'll be in attendance
Stage or public performance?
Still really shy, and I wouldn't know what to do... but who knows... I may surprise myself some day
How do I identify my self to you?
Badges help... I'm the worst with names and faces so please bear with me
Rules of engagement (physical contact)?
Hug your friends close... and your really good friends even closer.
How can I find you?
Text me if you have my number, otherwise Twitter or FA note
Can I talk to you?
Sure. Just be aware that in suit I try not to speak unless I'm in polite company. Out of suit I can be a bit shy if I don't know ya. Don't take it personally... being around lots of people I don't know makes be anxious and I clam up.
Can I give you lots of money?
Depends on what the money is for o_O
Can I give you stuff?
I'm not used to getting gifts, but if you really want to.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
-repeated- Hug your friends close... and your really good friends even closer.
Can I come to dinner with you?
If I don't really know ya then have a chat with me, and we will see.
Can I invite you to dinner?
Of course
Can I hang out with you?
If I don't really know ya then have a chat with me, and we will see.
Can I take your picture?
Please pleeeeeease only when I'm in suit... out of suit you will steal my soul (I'm camera shy, and not very photogenic)
How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
I'd probably just be hanging out in my room if I didn't want to socialize
Personality Type?
Shy around people I don't know, and a bit anxious around large groups of people I don't know. Otherwise I'm trying to be more social and outgoing, and I welcome to opportunity to meet new friends and acquaintances.
What's your goal for the con this year?
Vacation, vacation, vacation... and I think there's some art in there too
Exodite / Astral
General | Posted 10 years agoI am wondering if anyone knows any other way to contact the artist Exodite Dragon / 
Astralabortion. I have been owed something from him since commissioning him in person at Rainfurrest of 2012, and he has never returned a single note, im, email, or shouting at my monitor. There are numerous AB articles on this artist, but they are all really old.
I am considering taking him to small claims to get this resolved at this point
Seriously if you have no intention of completing a commission... then frigging Refund Me. Accepting money for a good or service without intending to provide said good or service is Theft plain and simple. This artist is just one of many that have stolen money from me , and it has just really soured my desire to commission Anyone anymore.
Astralabortion. I have been owed something from him since commissioning him in person at Rainfurrest of 2012, and he has never returned a single note, im, email, or shouting at my monitor. There are numerous AB articles on this artist, but they are all really old.I am considering taking him to small claims to get this resolved at this point
Seriously if you have no intention of completing a commission... then frigging Refund Me. Accepting money for a good or service without intending to provide said good or service is Theft plain and simple. This artist is just one of many that have stolen money from me , and it has just really soured my desire to commission Anyone anymore.
Sakura
General | Posted 10 years agoLeaving this evening after work to head back up to Seattle. I will be working for the registration staff at Sakura Con this year most of Thursday and Friday (and a small bit of Saturday). Feel free to stop by and say hello and/or give a hug; you'll find a friendly smile.
During my off time I plan on getting some dragon time in too..... soo look for Darkk wandering about... probably loitering around a certain charmeleon (Zupa)
.
Cheers
During my off time I plan on getting some dragon time in too..... soo look for Darkk wandering about... probably loitering around a certain charmeleon (Zupa)
.Cheers
Onward!
General | Posted 11 years agoAlready all packed... just gotta take care of a few things, and I'm ready to 'take off' to Canada tomorrow morning. Ohhh the puns....
Some good news and some bad news
General | Posted 11 years agoFirst the bad news... lets get this out of the way quickly... my last grandfather just passed away. I am deeply saddened by this event... especially after not quite recovering from my grandmother's passing just 2 short months ago. Rest well... you fought well...
I am handling this the best I can; friends have been a really big help. I've had a lot of good distractions as well as support. I and my family will make it through this, and while this pain will lessen over time... my remembrance of his life will not. Cheers grandpa! I learned many things from you, and you made a positive difference on this planet for everyone you came in contact with.
Now some good news.
Visiting friends in Seattle again next weekend. Cheap Amtrak tickets and tax refunds have made this possible. Thank you gub'mint for giving me back ma monaay.
Due to the help and prodding of some friends I will be going to BLFC this year after all. It will be my first visit to that convention, and it will be my 2nd visit to Reno period. I am looking forward to this greatly. Road Trip!
VF @ Burnaby, BC, Canada is only a few weeks away. Definitely looking forward to this one as well. Lots of friends to meet up with, lots of activities to do, it's a great convention, Road Trip!, and I get to visit the beautiful country of Canada once again.
I've been informed that project #1 (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14694281/) is nearly finished, and things Should be shipped off this coming Monday. If time serves well, then I will have this project by the time VF and other conventions roll around. DRAGON!!
Project #2 (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15604527) is a go; slated to be started in March just after VF time permitting. If all goes well this project may be finished in time for BLFC
Until next time!!
I am handling this the best I can; friends have been a really big help. I've had a lot of good distractions as well as support. I and my family will make it through this, and while this pain will lessen over time... my remembrance of his life will not. Cheers grandpa! I learned many things from you, and you made a positive difference on this planet for everyone you came in contact with.
Now some good news.
Visiting friends in Seattle again next weekend. Cheap Amtrak tickets and tax refunds have made this possible. Thank you gub'mint for giving me back ma monaay.
Due to the help and prodding of some friends I will be going to BLFC this year after all. It will be my first visit to that convention, and it will be my 2nd visit to Reno period. I am looking forward to this greatly. Road Trip!
VF @ Burnaby, BC, Canada is only a few weeks away. Definitely looking forward to this one as well. Lots of friends to meet up with, lots of activities to do, it's a great convention, Road Trip!, and I get to visit the beautiful country of Canada once again.
I've been informed that project #1 (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14694281/) is nearly finished, and things Should be shipped off this coming Monday. If time serves well, then I will have this project by the time VF and other conventions roll around. DRAGON!!
Project #2 (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15604527) is a go; slated to be started in March just after VF time permitting. If all goes well this project may be finished in time for BLFC
Until next time!!
Onward to Seattle!!
General | Posted 11 years agoHeading off toward Seattle area early tomorrow morning to attend RF 2014. I look forward to seeing everyone again ^-^
Dear lord... make it stop
General | Posted 11 years agoAnother disappointment to have to deal with. This is turning out to be the month of crappy reveals. Could really use some good news right about now. Lots of negative things all at once can be... crushing.
Furlandia, current situation, and I need a vacation
General | Posted 11 years agoI heard there were a few people asking about me during Furlandia this past weekend.
Unfortunately I was not able to attend on Friday due to a previously scheduled calendar item.
I was not able to attend on Saturday due to family.
I was going to be there on Sunday, but right as I pulled up to the hotel I got a call from my grandmother's caretakers. Had to leave before I even walked into the door... spent the entire day up at the hospital. Sadly she is going to be there for a few days, and afterward she will need permanent assisted care.
I don't really want to think about this, but there is a distinct possibility I'm going to lose quite a few relatives all within a year or less... I'm going to need a LOT of cheering up if/when this happens...
These past few weeks have been some of the most stressful I can remember in recent times due to family, home, work, and etc. A vacation is sorely needed at this point; otherwise my sanity will soon become affected if it hasn't already.
Trying to stay positive.
-Darkk
Unfortunately I was not able to attend on Friday due to a previously scheduled calendar item.
I was not able to attend on Saturday due to family.
I was going to be there on Sunday, but right as I pulled up to the hotel I got a call from my grandmother's caretakers. Had to leave before I even walked into the door... spent the entire day up at the hospital. Sadly she is going to be there for a few days, and afterward she will need permanent assisted care.
I don't really want to think about this, but there is a distinct possibility I'm going to lose quite a few relatives all within a year or less... I'm going to need a LOT of cheering up if/when this happens...
These past few weeks have been some of the most stressful I can remember in recent times due to family, home, work, and etc. A vacation is sorely needed at this point; otherwise my sanity will soon become affected if it hasn't already.
Trying to stay positive.
-Darkk
Leaving for SF
General | Posted 11 years agoGoing to San Francisco for a class. Will be leaving tomorrow on the train, and I'll not be heading home until Friday.
If any locals there aren't away at a con somewhere and would love to hang out I'm totally up for it ^-^
Cheers
If any locals there aren't away at a con somewhere and would love to hang out I'm totally up for it ^-^
Cheers
Coming home from Vancoufur / Quick personal report and stuff
General | Posted 12 years agoWill be driving back home to the States tomorrow. VF was totally fun this year.
Things started off kinda slow the first day or so for me, but Friday eve and Saturday just blew it up.
Got to eat lots of great sushi, met a ton of great people, made a few new friends (fuzzies and dragons too), got to suit a whole bunch (much much more than I did for RF, and even more so than last year at VF), dancing dragon, room parties, games of Munchkin (finally won for the 1st time ever), many hugs, many intelligent conversations, art from
WereMagnus (note to self: need to scan), top 5 on musical chairs, finally met 
foxamoore as well as got to hear him play, never empty 3DS streetpass queue, LEGOS!, and... ... so very much more.
The only negative I can report had nothing to do with the con, but with the trip up. We were 'randomly selected' for total inspection on the way up. Border guards had a bit of fun with our luggage. All electronic gear including my phone, games, laptop, and etc were scanned and searched as well (I think they thought we looked like drug smugglers or something with all the fursuit bags we had in the back). I'm sure the guard turned a bit red when he opened my browser though... I had accidentally left my browser tuned to my profile on a site that shall remain nameless. Aside from trying not to look at me in the eye any longer when he came back... at least he complimented my on my choice of installed games on my laptop as they hurried us out the door and on our way :D
I'm sure I'm in a couple vids and pics during the games disguised as a goat, but the first few days of the convention I was alllll dragon so if anyone happens to spot me wandering around in any media please post a link.
Thanks to a friend pointing it out I found Darkk did make it onto the photo gallery of the Huffington Post in Canada a couple times apparently, and they are pretty nice pictures. Take a looksee:
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/0.....n_4886642.html
Things started off kinda slow the first day or so for me, but Friday eve and Saturday just blew it up.
Got to eat lots of great sushi, met a ton of great people, made a few new friends (fuzzies and dragons too), got to suit a whole bunch (much much more than I did for RF, and even more so than last year at VF), dancing dragon, room parties, games of Munchkin (finally won for the 1st time ever), many hugs, many intelligent conversations, art from
WereMagnus (note to self: need to scan), top 5 on musical chairs, finally met 
foxamoore as well as got to hear him play, never empty 3DS streetpass queue, LEGOS!, and... ... so very much more.The only negative I can report had nothing to do with the con, but with the trip up. We were 'randomly selected' for total inspection on the way up. Border guards had a bit of fun with our luggage. All electronic gear including my phone, games, laptop, and etc were scanned and searched as well (I think they thought we looked like drug smugglers or something with all the fursuit bags we had in the back). I'm sure the guard turned a bit red when he opened my browser though... I had accidentally left my browser tuned to my profile on a site that shall remain nameless. Aside from trying not to look at me in the eye any longer when he came back... at least he complimented my on my choice of installed games on my laptop as they hurried us out the door and on our way :D
I'm sure I'm in a couple vids and pics during the games disguised as a goat, but the first few days of the convention I was alllll dragon so if anyone happens to spot me wandering around in any media please post a link.
Thanks to a friend pointing it out I found Darkk did make it onto the photo gallery of the Huffington Post in Canada a couple times apparently, and they are pretty nice pictures. Take a looksee:
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/0.....n_4886642.html
Bravely Defaulted
General | Posted 12 years agoHaven't bought a game in a bit, and so it was time. With the release of Bravely Default for the 3DS I now have something new to play. If anyone else has the game, and would like to help out... once again my friend code is 2337-4472-7533. Looking to add some friends :)
ESO
General | Posted 12 years agoLooks like this weekend is the third beta test for Elder Scrolls Online. If we indeed get iced in like the news is predicting I'll have plenty to do :)
This game is starting to look and play better each test. It still does not quite have that 'Elder Scrolls' feel to it though IMHO, but its still quite fun.
This game is starting to look and play better each test. It still does not quite have that 'Elder Scrolls' feel to it though IMHO, but its still quite fun.
Visiting Seattle
General | Posted 12 years agoWill be up in Seattle the following weekend (25th) for WFS15, and I'll be staying up for a few days afterward before returning home. Look forward to seeing friends up there again.
Cheers
Cheers
