The friend base that i used to have on here before i disappeared for a few years , mainly for the reason of being able to bounce ideas off people an see if they think it is a good or bad as i sometimes can't decide on things and need that extra advice.

After being back for a little over a month I've noticed quite a few people have either moved on or not as active as they used to be , there are a couple that are still quite active , though being away from somewhere that used to give me a lot of confidence in my life i seem to have lost that confidence and have developed social anxiety to the point that i wont go out or join in in things because it scares me to the point i want to run and hide , i thought maybe if i came back i might be able to slowly regain some of that confidence back little by little .

thankyou for listening to my ramblings if you did read this journal it was just something i needed to get out of my head .

No one ever sees me , sees me loose in every battle
No one ever sees me , sees me loose in every battle
No one ever sees me , sees me loose in every battle
Can anybody save me , save me I’m loosing every battle

No one ever sees me , sees me loose in every battle
No one ever sees me , sees me loose in every battle
No one ever sees me , sees me loose in every battle
Can anybody save me , save me I’m loosing every battle

I’m loosing every battle

Never reminded never taking
Whatever you told me
I know what I could be

Making a motion painting for an answer
Tell me
Is this what you made me

A lie, A lie, A lie, A lie

I’m a stone that meets the moon
I’m the sun that will not move
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

And you tell me one more lie
Every time you bring me close
And you’re thickening the ghost of you
Bleeding ties you’ve undone

Undone, And I, A lie
A lie, A lie, A lie

I’m a stone that meets the moon
I’m the sun that will not move
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
I’m a stone that meets the moon
I’m the sun that will not move
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

I’m just wondering how many of you that are following me are still active?

I’m mainly asking to see what kind of response I get to see if post my next journal .

The other day I came on and for some reason I thought it was 4 years ago when everyone was active and I thought to myself “this can’t be right everyone is post journals and submissions and talking through notes “ , it was then I woke up and confirmed yes I had been dreaming but was weird because I hadn’t been thinking about FA at all what’s with that ?

When you feel that you longer identify with your original fursona?

It’s not that I want to abandon my fursona all together but I just don’t feel the love for dark that I used to back in the day .

I just don’t know what to do in this conundrum ?

Yeah it’s another one the past 5-6 months have been pretty hectic for me and I’ve given this place little to no love due to me buying my own place and trying to get multiple things sorted in my life .

I appreciate anyone who faves / comments on the art that I have had commissioned and would like to thank you not only now but also people in the future that may fave and comment I thank you too .

I’d also like to apologize for not being able to upload any new art as until I get myself into not a good financial situation all my art on my page is going to be fairly old .

Lastly i’ll leave you with a song that I can’t stop listening too :
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVf2EeTMNJo

Does anyone know of anyone that is doing reference sheets at the moment as I'm looking to update my shark girls reference sheet a little to not just a front facing but also back reference to I'm also looking to maybe add maybe one or two things to try and make her pretty unique , at this moment I'm not looking to commission straight away but very soon .

It's taken me almost a year to work up the motivation to reactivate my account but I will slowly becoming more active , not sure if anyone really missed me but just thought I'd let people know I'm not dead.

Anyone going to be playing it ?

i probably wont be around for the next few days maybe a week , i've had a death in the family so i wont have time at all to check back here.

to the artist's of art i have paid for i prolly wont be able to give you a quick response on W.I.P 's so take this as a confirmation to go ahead im sure the finish product will be fine.

to everyone else if you know me you'll know how to get in contact with me outside FA other then that whatever .

To be honest it wasn't really that exciting and to be honest has been making me think whether i really belong here anymore , i feel the friendly vibe that i used to feel here has disappeared and pretty much been wondering where did everybody go ( excluding a couple people that i know have a really good excuse to not be very active at all) i don't think i've really had anyone just randomly leave me a shout or short note which used to give me a reason to logon but lately i've been login on maybe once or twice a week rather then daily.

Also outside of FA i've pretty much become so socially awkward that i find my self trying to makeup reasons for not going to parties or events unless i know people that i'm really good friends with , trying to find that special someone to spend my life with has been causing me to think there is just no one out there for me and sometimes think like this but my really can't be fucked attitude means id never do it anyway it's just a thought.

Anyway lets hope maybe 2016 will be better then 2015 though i hope this time next year i will be writing a better more upbeat journal .

so im looking at getting a proper reference sheet for Antoinette Here and what im looking for is links to people that do them preferably front and back maybe extra's too so please send me links to anyone you think would fit the bill .

Died last night in my dreams
Walking the streets
Of some old ghost town
I tried to believe
In God and James Dean
But Hollywood sold out

Saw all of the saints
Lock up the gates
I could not enter
Walked into the flames
Called out your name
But there was no answer

And now I know my heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town

Died last night in my dreams
All the machines
Had been disconnected
Time was thrown at the wind
And all of my friends
Had been disaffected

Now, I'm searching for trust
In a city of rust
A city of vampires
Tonight, Elvis is dead
And everyone's spread
And love is a satire

And now I know my heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town

There's no one left in the world
I'm gunslingin'
[Regular version:] Don't give a fuck if I go
[Music video version:] Don't give a damn if I go
Down, down, down
I got a voice in my head that keeps singing
Oh, my heart is a ghost town

My heart is a ghost town
Oh, my heart is a ghost town
(Said, my heart)
My heart is a ghost town
My heart is a ghost town

when your not an artist how do you commision emotional art ?

nothing real bad it's just that i can't come up with a good name for my paladin on wow im usually pretty good at finding good names but im just coming up blank.

[hopefully there are people out there with some good idea's (btw it will be a Draenei Pali female) , i will delete this journal at the end of the week so crossing my fingers someone might answer .

Sergals ?

At one time every 2 nd to 3rd price of art was a sergal and it almost seemed like if you didn't have a sergal oc you weren't cool , did someone round them up and shoot them behind the shed because this is just my observation I don't see bugger all ?

I will no longer be leaving my usernames for any of the programs I use like Skype , steam ect. If you would like to talk to me on any of the programs like the ones mentioned please note me and I shall give you them . Other then that have a good day .

where i can get a large amount of music or listen to large amount legally because im sick of playing my games with no music it's boring as fuck .?

Put your iTunes on shuffle and create the soundtrack to your life.

Opening credits: Awesome - The Bloody Beetroots
Waking up: Russia Privet - Basshunter
Falling in love: Always - Blink 182
Fight song: Bodies - Drowning Pool
Breaking Up Song: Evacuate the Dance Floor - Cascada
Wedding: Born of a broken man - Rage Against the Machine
Birth of child: Anywhere - The Presets
Death scene: Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
Final battle: Pts of Athrty - Linkin Park ( reanimation)
Funeral song: Granite - Pendulum
End credits: Never Surrender - Tetsuya Shibata

And I'm Spent .

i havent been very active lately and prolly wont be active for quite awhile mainly because im playing the new wow expansion ( don't hate me i like playing wow i find it fun) but i guess no one has or will notice , so those that do just letting you know , if you wanna contact me you can get me on skype "darktoasted"

i don't usually post this but please if u can a friend is in a dire situation the info can be found here and here if you can help in any way please help .

but i've been counting days till "Destiny" comes out i'm really excited about this game mixes two of my loves First Person Shooter's and MMO's almost kinda wanna call in sick on Tuesday so i can play it but i won't , im just hoping i can befriend a few people in this game as all my old gaming friends have disapeared on me so i'll kinda be lonewolf in this game till i make some new one's i guess .

for those who wanna know i'll be playing this on the PS4 ( i know about the whole console war and pc master race stuff but this is the platform i've decided to play it on )
for those who want to know how much longer you will have to wait go here : http://destinycountdown.com/
and also those who are wondering what the hell Destiny is here is a lil trailer to tickle your fancy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aNxecBqRA4

so i've been watching the inside gaming machinama channel and to say these guys are hilarious anyway few weeks they have been playing a game called rouge warrior (i haven't played it myself ) but basicly they play an hours worth of the game then edit it down to about a 15 min video anyway today they finally finished the game and when the end credit came up well lets just say the song made almost fall out of my chair laughing anyway here is the song be warned it's porably not safe for work or to be played with young kids arround or if you are are easily offended by swearing .

here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs0WflggoAs

Fursona:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4678976/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5150952/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8713142/


What made you choose the species of your main fursona?
i've always loved dragons and at the time i was playing wow( world of warcraft) pretty much full-time and the dragons that i liked the look of in the game were called Netherdrakes so i decided to combine the two together into what is darktoast today .


Is your fursona just like you, or how you want to be?
i have to say only a little bit he is pretty much how i would like to be but am not ,.


Does your fursona have the same personality you have?
not really he tends to be more socialable and out there i tend to be the opposite of that


Does your fursona have the same dislikes and likes as you do?
on this one we actually do have the same dislikes and likes so i have to say it's the prolly the only thing so far that we have in common.


Does your fursona look like you at all?
nope he's tall with a bit of an athletic build , im kinda a lil shorter and definitely not of an athletic build .

Is your fursona the same gender as you, if not why?
yes we are a both male sept for that one gender bent pic .


Do you have more then one main fursona?
main sona no i have alts but rarely use them .


Do you have a back story for your fursona, if so does it have anything to do with your own history?
no back story really , well from what i can remember my brains pretty blah on remembering stuff from long ago .


Is your fursona mated, if so is it to your real life significant other?
no he is not mated and i unfortunately have no significant other either ;(


If not, are they looking for a mate or are they a swinger, so to speak?
even though i have a few racey pics of dark he isn't a swinger , to be honest if dark had to be with anyone it have to be a special bond not some kind of fling , like me dark would protect and do anything for them but doesn't want to have his heart broken .

Is there something special about your fursona that you think sets them apart from others?
besides his hybridness and scar over the eye are the real only thinks that set dark apart though was thinkining of getting this tattooed on him somewhere for the lol's , http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4962605/


Do you have much art of your main fursona/s?
i do have a bit of art of dark some of it i haven't uploaded because i just haven't gotten arround to it but it's not as much as some of the people i know who have alot more then i do .

Would you ever consider parting with your main fursona, if so why?
i have had thoughts from time to time but too many people know dark as a dragon so it be so hard to get people to think of him differently.

If you suit, do you have a suit of your main fursona?
omg i wish but i just wouldn't know how to go about getting a suit of my sona.

Have you ever roleplayed with your main fursona, or do you prefer not to?
not really it's hard for me to roleplay with people i don't know .


Do you consider your main fursona to be a part of you in any way?
in some ways yes in others no .