hello yall its been a long time since i wrote anything in here of what has been going on... i hit a really really bad bout of depression agine and well things are going but there have been alot of down times. i broke off what i thought was a good friend shit with some one i really cared about, and that just made the woneds so deep that i wish i had killed my self. had many others that i thought where my friends and even family just out and out lie to me and try to play it off like they never said that or typed yet i have voice and txt logs. my mothers cuzent has been trying to drive a wadge between her and i so that his mentaly disabled 19 yo wife can have a mother image.... hes in his 60's by the way, him also accuseing me of preventing his computer from getting on the internet... (lmao he had another virus) as well as trying to tell me how a computer works...(unfortunately for him he caut me at a bat time and i snapped at the fucker, mom and dad where "he fucking desrved that" lmoa), how ever that fake smile i was whereing 90% of the time is slowly starting not to been needed i have meet some awesome new people who are also trying to help me feel better and wile the bad days are still here like tonight even thoue i am typeing this lol.... i guess its more of just a reminder to mr self more then any thing that one day i will feel more happier then sad and maby not even have a extreme low ever agine ^^ i know this may seem really confusing the way i phrase things here but it makes sence to me X3 and well even more posative sines to my self is that i acualy cleaned my apartment to the point of presidential agine ^^ even cooked a meal for my parents, to some it maby be a oh big deal but to me i feel really accomplished ^-^

well i think ill end it here for now and you never know i may put another thing up here some time soon agine.

hears hopeing to many more things of improvement


love yall *skitters around*

Stolen from  Biakko

Where are you staying?
Main hotel, the Sheraton

What day are you getting there?
Thursday

Who will you be rooming with?
 Vaelik  kakurady  paradoxillogic  eikofinal  acehart1 (wow thats alot of people o.o )

Who will you be traveling with?
my self...

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
well any one that will stick near me lmao

Are there any panels you might be attending?
oh ya im really looking forward to a few of them

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
no

Will you be suiting?
to poor for one lmao

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
N/A

How can I find you?
keep an eye out for this ugly mug https://www.dropbox.com/s/pixocbaki.....n/DSCF0099.JPG

Do you draw?
not really

What are your limits to drawing?
N/a

How old are you?
26

How tall are you?
5'11''

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
single

Can I talk to you?
most defiantly

Can I touch you?
in what way o.o;

Can I visit your room?
probably not

Can I buy you drinks?
Sure, as long as its not booz

Can I give you stuff?
gifts are nice but makes me feel a little unconformable

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
maby >>;

Are you nice?
some say i am

How long are you going?
ill be checking out Monday but will be in the area till Friday

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Darky

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
eny ware o.o;

What/where will you be eating?
i don't really go to places to much (to fat and lazy to walk)

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
yes you can

Can I look in your sketchbook?
o.o? (dont have one)

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
*points to above*

Can I take your picture?
you can but might ask you not to post with out asking first

What’s your goal for the con this year?
just going there meeting new people and hanging with the people i already know ^-^

there never around when you need it...

hay yall a sertan skunky i know  skunk5 is doing a raffle so if you wana chance to be in some arts click here and fallow the rules :)

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4978616/

ok so for two days my internet was taking random nose dives in connection speed, right down to nothing and it was a little annoying but eastlink was right on it and sent a tech guy out today and so far so good. how ever i just ad to get ahold of them about one little thing....

Dylan: Thank you for contacting Eastlink, my name is Dylan, and I will be assisting you today, how may I help you?
Darky: yes i was wondering if there was a way for yous to look into my profile and find out who did the repair at my place.
Dylan: I should be able to see a order id of some sort, what is the street address please?
Darky: my address is ********************
Dylan: Would it be regarding when they did work on your internet recently ?
Darky: yes today acualy
Darky: he acadently left his charger here for his laptop when he was doing tests on the modem
Dylan: Oh ok, well I can look into how we can either get him back out there today to pick it up or what process needs to be taken, back shortly
Darky ok thank you
Dylan: I am just contacting the higher ups to let them know about this , just confirming if hes coming back today or another day
Darky: ok thank you
Dylan: Sorry about this wait just waiting on a response./
Darky: it is ok
Dylan: Ok so I am going to fill out a form to let the tech know about this so they should contact you when they can about this
Darky: ok lol ill put it in a safe spot for the guy till he can pick it up
Dylan: Ok thank you very much for the heads up on this.
Darky: you welcome
Darky: i hope i did not make him feel rushed to make him forget it ...
Dylan: Oh no this happens sometimes, they may have just forgotten they had used it but again thank you for that heads up much appreciated.
Dylan: Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
Darky: no that is every thing thank you lol
Dylan: Thank you for choosing Eastlink and we appreciate your business.
Darky: yw ^-^ take care


lol the poor guy left his 150watt gaming laptop charger here XD luckily its in a good spot here hoping he can pick it up today lol XD i still getting a little laugh out of it XD

http://www.speedtest.net/result/2519852503.png

http://speedtest.net/result/2519672141.png

well im over there now to lol

https://www.weasyl.com/profile/darkysabertooth

well i always been nerves to do this on fa but why the hell not ... come on let me have it ><

snitched from  QuyetPawz


Where are you staying?
the main hotel :P duh XD

What day are you getting there?
Thurday, March 7

Departure?
Monday, March 11

Transportation?
rental car with  spikekitty69  gozob.

Who will you be rooming with?
 spikekitty69  gozob and  Kakurady

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
any one that wants to hang out XD as long as your not weird o.o;;;;

Will you be suiting?
no suit :(

Which suits?
n/a

What is your gender?
Male

How tall are you?
5'11" (lets round it to 6')

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
empty

Can I talk to you?
Yes

Can I touch you?
you perv o.o;

How can I find you?
tweet me i might let you know where i am XD

Can I visit your room?
probably not

Will you be going to parties?
maby

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
just talk to me i can be a shy guy at times

What/where will you be eating?
haven't decided on that yet

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
probably :P

Can I take your picture?
please ask i don't really like pics of me

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
see some old friends and just have fun as well as make some new friends ^-^ :P

go over to http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9602400/

well let's see where I shall start today is not going to be a good day by looks of it. I've known for a while that my cordless phones batteries are no good then I not long ago the power went out so I had to use my laptop , ran fine until I had to charge it, it only charges to 91 percent and does not charge me for it. so now I keep battery out it was totally charged this morning I wake up after charge my cell phone last night and I'm plugged in when was fully charged look at this morning to 35 percent already no data no wifi running not even any other app except for the basic ones that run your phone. so by the looks of it I'm not have going to be in a very good mood today.


so i called my cell phone company and there going to send a warranty box for the battery and finally fix the Bluetooth/wifi problem i have with it.. now just to fix the laptop and cordless phones >.<...

and last night i got told that two people that was going to room with me and some others will not be going so... bleh kitty really really low, was looking forward to meeting them.

on a good note im getting my kitten tomorrow

to those of you in the Ottawa area that I know well and you know me well I'm asking for help in cleaning up my apartment things have been gathering hear that people have dumped no longer wanted or have wanted repaired and not to expect me to charge. I have literally reached a point where I'm just crying looking at all this stuff and funny myself laughing at how much is accumulated had the same time. anyone willing to help me out it is your pretty help would be very much appreciated at this time I have no way to to pay you in cash for your help except maybe offer a hot meal and anytime you need help I'll be there too. I'm literally sitting here crying writing this because I feel so stupid better even asking for help and don't deserve it I don't even know if I'll keep this journal up

so i know alot of you gamers out there are playing your halo a blackops 2 but i might be having some fun this weekend maby even later on with gta 4 any yall care to join? let me know

I went to the doctor on Friday I got some news about my blood work that I did a while ago after my last dizzy spell the first time I've ever had really bad vertigo it scared me have my mother take me to the hospital for the next day I was in for blood work. like I said Friday I went to the doctor because I want to talk to her about the blood work and some other things that after we talk I was in no mood to talk to her about anything else that's been going on hurting found out my thyroid has slowed my testosterone level has dropped and possibly have gained nearly 100 pounds if she read scale. right yeah right now I've been very very low my emotions crashed Saturday and I nearly did something stupid thankfully did not happen however been very hard to stay happy. I can't tell you how badly I want a cigarette I haven't smoked since high school even then it wasn't much maybe a few week. My parents been smoking all my life so I guess I see the smell of nicotine and smoke as a Comfort lol would be better than the junk food I've been eating to try and feel happy but junk food not always the right choice I guess considering problems I'm having with my weight get through this to my dad's birthday is 60 now so I'm hoping maybe I get some lotto tickets he loves a scratch ticket lol but enough about this crap hope everyone else is been good and talk to ya soon I guess take care

f5 or ctrl f5 to see the new one

icon was made by  Gozob so go get one if you can ;)

i <3 it looks alot better then mah old one

ok so for little over a week or two i have had a lot of pain under my right arm making it hard to do anything. the pain was caused my a blind boil witch unfortunately my family is prone to getting, now i don't want any comments or people to think i do not keep clean that is not the case even the cleanest people can still get them, it had gotten to be nearly 2 and 1/2 inches front to back and about 1 - 1 1/2 inches arm to side. it was getting so bad that i was going to make a dr appoint me to get it removed by Friday but lucky last night it burst and also lucky i had some Kleenex under my arm. so i showered and cleaned my self up and now every thing is all good i can use my arm normal aging ^-^

ok so earlier today i got a call I'm like ill get to the message later i got to pay bills. As i am walking to the post office to get my mail a woman asked me if i knew where the Ontario Works Building was (welfare), she knew what rode it was on but did not read the damn sings (here your sing) *loves Bill Engvall here your sing jokes XD* so i told here where the road is. when i get home i play the recording on my phone and call them back like they asked. turns out he wanted a power supply off me if i had a spare one (meaning with this guy i need one now and im not paying) i told him no i did not have any new ones and i don't have any laying around (witch i fibbed about cuz this kid dose not take care of things), so i get done with that bs and not even a hour ago i get a call from another person that i only hear from when she wants something asking if my mother still sold Avon(even after she left a message on my mother phone asking her..... (here your sing agne)) i said yes she was just she might be laying down (mom and dad have not been doing to well but they smile and keep pushing on)... gods today has been so silly XD

so for awile if you don't fallow my twitter then you wont know whats been going on here a small recap.
for a wile there i was really stressed out and pissed off that my landlord went on vacation before coming to fix a broken kitchen sink that did not drain, (witch is the excelrenet) even before this i was in the hospital for some pain that got to the point i was not able to walk sit or stand for any amount time. all they could say it was kidney stones.... ok, but this was not the main problem now (go ahead call me or think of me as a worry wart or drama queen i don't fucking care any more) even since all this my memory has gone to the birds. i been getting headaches and nose bleed from what my mom and i thought it was my blood presser and stress. how ever my dr said my blood presser is fine so now she wants to get a lot of blood work done up to find out whats wrong. the reason i have been having trouble organizing my words in to speech even more then before, wile i was talking to my social worker (cmha) i was having t rubble organizing my words into sentences and told her that this been going on since the headaches began i jokingly said i hope i did not take a stroke or something, and she was like emmm maby but you are going to your dr she might want to do a mri... but nope just blood work XD. well lets see how this goes if mem servers she was to do a cholesterol count, thyroid check, blood shuger, and a few others to be safe. hopefully we can get to the bottom of whats going on. *lowers ears*

i find my self going to my computer less and less each day lately. there just nothing really new or to talk about any more. no one likes the games i play (minecraft mostly) my youtube series idea is going down the hole faster and faster. to top it off i not been eating well as my sink has been plugged for a week now and my blood presser is going so high that when my nose bleeds it squirts out like a fuel leek (not that I'm complaining my head ache goes away for a with when that happens) the only good things that has happened is that now my ac is in and the apartment is no longer a friggen 89.4*f contently even with fans going. here hopeing every thing gets better soon v.v

ok first of all its simple and easy just wright down the best memory you have of your self and your mate. try not to use any extremely personal ones "ex: sex" unless you and your mate will let you. second tag some people you know with a link back to this or your journal so they know what they are to do. third you have the right to pass it up if you want


ok hear we go

my fav memory of a time spent with my mate would be when he fell asleep in my arms. even if it was the first time we were together in person, it gave me a feeling that i had a purpose and meaning.

Love you baby <3<3 monstersids<3<3


tags

 monstersids (of corse) ,  bakakitty ,  howiepup ,  SumiXxChaos



from Darky_Sabertooth

ok first all it started off seeing my friend wi know in a large diber that dont fit him with his bf is a rambow speed o and them two cuddling. next it gose off to a fur i recently meet at fe Gothic skunk sleeping in his bed with about 6-7 skunk girls wearing the same thing on this floor in a traite line giggling and hugging each others waste, then goth wakes up and sees them giggling and he screams and looks almost like a old style cartoon eyes in now adays animation then going off into a normal type furry world watching chode from tripping the rift exploring peoples bedrooms and the world around him.... WTF made this come on >.<

hay every one im still around just been really busy building computers for a local company and watching lots of movies. but i tell ya lately i really want to upgrade my computers mother Bord memory and video cuz i feel so obsolete >.<;

Okay since this was my first ever convention I must say I had a complete blast. Then I get much sleep during the whole thing but once I got back home here I was out like a light. I got to me a whole bunch of people I have talked to on Skype and IRC examples Bungee Skunk, Fred bedderhead and quite a few more that herd of. Not heard of PCD post con depression but in all honesty I was just glad to be home. I have more of PCJ pre con jitters Lawl. And taken many pictures as I thought I would or video for that matter I was just enjoying myself rather than being stuck at home for months at a time no one visiting are not able to go anywhere. I can honestly say I cannot wait for next year. I did have a few minor panic attacks but luckily I was able to get through them. In all honesty if the hotel hadn't kept the heat on whenever it was 28° outside and still running the heat it would have been a lot better. The first night which if I remember probably was Thursday there was a thunderstorm going on now I hate thunderstorms. But luckily my friend bungee fought ahead and close the blinds or, curtains to not let the flashes of light in and it didn't bother me. It was deathly fun that night because we were teasing ace hart because the fellow fur needed his duct tape dummy made and while they were making at there was just two who many funny poses to take pictures of. When they were finished making that the tape dummy of course you have to cut off in well based made it a little too tight and I've heard what I thought I would never hear at a convention " that is one tight fox" and I'd just bursting out laughing and had to twit it on twitter of all through the convention that little saying was going between the small group of us. But as for pictures and video I have already uploaded them to both FA and YouTube the links to the videos will be below, as for FA pictures well you're gonna have to look for yourself. I cannot wait till next year and see everyone again until then be safe fuzybutts.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhlW1YiO3CM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSqGO6D4-c8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ill62f_WlWw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vjyCvqCJVA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWPVa2jD7JE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIASo6eJhDw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1vfuthcGww

im home safe and sound... more to come later after some sleep

you know it has been a little wile since i have wrote something here from the heart and well hear it is.right now i feel the lowest i have in months my mentle heath is not good but when has that changed in the last 12years. right now i feel like just throwing every thing i own away it that means moving out of this town, it may not be as far away from things as some people that i know but it feels much further. i don't drive i don't drink or smoke eather, but lately i been craving a smoke as i been around smokers all my life. i started looking at other apartments in Ottawa but there to expensive. ha what am i saying there no point going there eather i bet my life that if i did move there my friends still would not come to visit me. meh... at this point i literally don't know what to do, i should be happy im going to my first convetion this week im to te point i dont give a shit about the money. i really really wanted to go to ac insted so i could see some one that means the world to me, hell i was will to sleep on the street if it ment i could see him but all i got was a tung lashon on (how i felt it was said) why spend the money to go and then sleep on the street its a stupid idea. now that is not how it was said at all but that is how it felt to me. during the time i was writing this i could barly see any more so i left the room and wet to my bed and even thought now it is 3:44am and i started this around 8:something pm i dont feel any different.