So I've decided to make a change...possibly a drastic change to my mental and physical well being. I realize that most won't agree with it but I must do so.

These past few weeks I have experienced severe burnout, extreme fatigue, waking up often with migraines or tension headaches.

I've honestly had enough and I am making a change starting now.

8PM bedtimes allowing for 9PM at times because I like watching Naked and Afraid (how DARE THEY put on the new episodes at 8PM X3)

Working out every single day

Eating healthy every single day

-at least- 10,000 steps per day

Every other day full body weight training and aforementioned step goal.

I need to do this for many many reasons. My mental health, my physical health, my emotional health, a few conditions I'm battling. I just need to regain my life again

I thank everyone for their patience with me and am eternally grateful for the love and support my closest ones give me.

I will try to be on discord and telegram as much as possible, but I have a lot to do. I will never cut any contact of any sort. However I may be a bit busier than usual.

All the love to those who care about me. I leave you with this inspirational video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEpO_v9utn0

Yep, so that's the theme of this journal...exhaustion.

I feel like I have thoroughly messed up my diet, my exercise and my sleep schedule all in one.

I really can't keep doing this because I'm riddled with muscular fatigue, mental exhaustion, and just demotivated to even get up on the weekends. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me...be it depression, laziness or whatever else. However, I know this is definitely not who I am.

Thankfully I can at least see that and attempt to make a change. There is NO way I can sustain staying up late anymore. With a 7AM to 4PM job going to bed at 10 or sometimes as late as midnight absolutely destroys me. I have been far too reliant on things like celsius energy and such to keep myself afloat. I don't feel it's safe for me to drive on such little sleep, so there's another risk. I just want to exercise, start my day with a buzz of energy, work and then come home. Though that does not seem possible at the moment and it's very discouraging.

I must continue with my exercise routine to lose weight and to keep a balance in my life. I am stress eating, I think (not sure as I have no way to test) I have high cortisol levels. I don't ever really feel at ease, I'm always sort of nervous and under tension. No doubt my moods are a result of lack of sleep and high cortisol.

Just...yeah, it's all a mess, I really don't like it, it's not a healthy life right now.

I love my friends with all my heart and I am very thankful to have those in my life that love me. I will always put them at the forefront of my life. However, I do need to be mindful and utilize "me time" also.

Hoping I can reset my life so to speak.

I have to say, there is absolutely nothing worse than having to constantly readjust your morning alarm more and more and more just in order to squeeze out the last bit of sleep before work. I was planning on waking up at 3AM to exercise but I was outright exhausted. So I set my alarm at 5AM...nope, that didn't work. I set -another- alarm at 5:50....I didn't quite make it to that one but not enough time remaining before it to keep sleeping. I absolutely hate that.

I need to keep consistent with my sleep and I need to have proper recovery. 8:30PM sleep time at most and wake time of 3AM to exercise. I am really not doing too well with that but I have to keep more consistent. With a full 40 hour job, exercising and wanting to do fun things, it's a very difficult balance. I just need to be better about it all.

Kinda tired of being sick and tired. I need to continue to lose weight and this is not the way to do it.

So yeah, these last few weeks have been quite exhausting. Both physically because of a lot of movement at work...long story short have to assist moving offices to new locations for renovations. That in itself is a lot, moving tons of equipment and clocking in at least 10,000 steps a day. Which in retrospect I -should- be doing every day. Feeling a lot of pains and such from all of that.

That and just kind of dealing with a lot while trying to improve my health. I feel like my sleep might be improving a little bit, but nowhere near what I want to yet. I honestly feel like I'm getting burnt out and need some sort of relief. I haven't been lifting weights and I think that's part of the problem.

I am actually going to be doing so just after writing this journal and I am quite excited to go through my routine. Other than that though, just trying to hold things together. I feel like I'm stretching myself way too thin. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing it, but...I don't know if I can sustain it while keeping healthy.

I always either feel tired or I feel like I'm at the beginning of getting sick. I am hoping with proper diet, exercise and sleep that will improve.

Slow steps and being careful during exercise. That's all I can really do. I need to keep my mental health strong and I feel like utilizing various tools such as meditation, therapy, etc. etc. might help.

As always, just a check in for my own self reference. Carry on!

So yeah, some big developments actually since this last week and I'm completely surprised.

As mentioned (I think) in my pervious journal, I have gone back on the keto diet. So far I have lost near 10 pounds of water weight (or what I suspect is water weight)

My ketone level from my breath analyzer is at 9.8ppm an optimal level. My blood ketones are at 0.3ppm as well which is higher than I've ever gotten it. I know I need to get things higher but according to both devices I'm at an optimal fat burning state.

I'm trying to keep up with my 10k steps per day if not even more. In addition I have just re-adopted my every other day full body lift.

Realistically there's a good point I heard in a motivational speech recently. Thinking of the difference between your "shoulds" and your "musts". You 'should' exercise. you 'should' make better dietary changes, etc. no, it's not should, you simply MUST make those changes if you want to get anywhere in life.

Failure is success because in order to get to that failure you tried your hardest. You can learn from it and improve from it. Use it as a tool in order to boost yourself to success next time.

So yes, another month has gone by. Feels like February barely just started...but anyhow!

So the last few days for February were very eventful ones. 10,000+ steps at work both days which is absolutely insane for me. It never used to be, but things changed.

I feel like this month I absolutely need to focus on recovery and rebuilding myself. I do feel like I can gain a lot more energy from my exercise routine, getting back into it and all that. I need to put my mind toward it and just work hard. Keep on my diet and no bullshitting around.

I know it'll be a lot of hard work and may occupy a lot of my time...but I feel for my long-term health it'll be very worth it.

Just been idly playing games here and there, but nothing too attention grabbing other than the streaming and multiplayer stuff that I do.

Um....yeah, it's still difficult to get my mindset back to consistently exercise. I know there's no excuses and I absolutely HAVE to so I will work on that from now on.

It's going to suck for a while, but I was able to do so once before so I can do it again! Just need to focus!

Yup, so I'm trying to shift my focus back to diet and exercise and all that stuff. I feel like I owe it to myself to put more effort in and lose weight again.

So far I'm trying to get back into the keto diet a lot more steadily. Carbs ideally lower than 20g a day (aside from vegetable carbs such as onions, bell peppers, etc.)

Breakfasts consisting of things like scrambled eggs with baby spinach, garlic, tomato, etc. and usually sausage patties

Trying to get over dumb anxieties of eating at work for lunch cause of inconsiderate coworkers bringing things like five guys, chick-fil-a, etc. into the office. When I do eat lunch though it's usually either a salad with grilled chicken or ground chicken, turkey, or beef with broccoli.

For dinner it's much of the same, lots of veggies with protein...whatever form that might take.

As for exercise I'm using the StepBet app which I feel like is quite motivating. Gets ya up and moving to get steps in.

I'm -trying- and keyword TRYING to get back into weightlifting but for some reason there's some sort of mental block. I dunno, I'll overcome that! I just gotta do more and remind myself that it's for my health.

Aside from that I may re-join the float spa that I used to go to. It's a bit pricey but I do feel I got some benefits from it!

Anyway, just some random blabbing for reference. I feel like I tend to remember it better if I make journal posts about it!

Just a bit of a random journal this time. I’ve been seeing tons of those “90’s kids” videos on TikTok and whatnot. Lately they’ve been popping up way way more in my feeds. Probably cause I stop and watch them. Anyhow yeah, it sparked me looking at some of the older pictures at our local mall and things. Stores like ToysRUs, the Disney store, a local arcade restaurant, and so many more. The memories just kinda come flooding back. It sparked me thinking about other things…stuff I did when I was younger, the fun memories and whatnot. The things I’ve held onto such as toys and the ones that I had to let go. It sucks to let them go, it really does but…it’s just part of life I suppose. Anyhow! Yeah just kinda putting my thoughts down on paper and getting the sadness and homesick feeling out of my head. I’m sure there’s plenty of others who feel the way I do.

So yeah, just a quick mental note for myself and a guide to remind myself to well....be mindful.

These past few weeks have been interesting...definitely not a whole lot of sleep. If I had to estimate I'm getting around 4-5 hours of sleep at best. Definitely well below the target that I set for myself. I'd be happy with 7 or so hours if I can manage it...I'll have to figure that out.

Secondly, my exercise routine is just absolutely collapsing. I have wanted to get back to my 10,000 steps a day but I'm absolutely exhausted. I know that I can do it, I just need to recharge a bit more and work hard in the mornings. I did -ONE- day of weight lifting also both because I felt I have no time and because I do not want to get hurt with unrested muscles.

My diet is improving slowly but I'm kind of sabotaging myself on Keto with potatoes and such. At least they're nutrient dense vegetables but they are really imbedding my progress. That thankfully I know what to do so no issue there.

I've been playing Resident Evil 5 a bunch and that has been absolutely amazing. I love the game and could play it over and over. Also playing PowerWash Simulator, Dead Space and a few others.

Anyhow though, just a few notes to self and a "don't be dumb" reminder. As I type this I have a very stuffy nose and am feeling quite fatigued. So yeah, I just gotta sleep better, that's all there is to it really!

Hello there everyone and a very Happy New Year!!!

So yes, 2025 has been interesting so far...I mean it's just a few normal days into the new year but interesting. I feel like things are going fairly smoothly right now and I'm glad that they are.

So yeah, time for those NYR's...New Year Resolutions! um...let's see, let's see....

First off I'd like to get back into the high protein keto diet again as I was doing before. Fairly simple...I don't know if it's a -true- keto diet but anyhow. It's just chicken and broccoli, bell peppers, onions, a bit of low carb condiments here and there...I realize "keto" is focused on healthy fats a lot, but I'm gonna change the percentages a bit more.

Second, getting back into my exercise routine. I feel like walking a minimum of 5,000 steps but realistically aiming for 10,000 will be good for me again. I really saw good results with more walking...my joints are starting to get a bit sore without that routine. Also, full-body weight lifting will be re-introduced to my routine. I feel like both are quite manageable and will become fun again in time.

As for games and such, I've been streaming a lot more, gaming a lot more and just having a really fun time. I need to finish Dead Space and I still have that in the back of my head. I am on a good track to do so and I intend on finishing the remastered game this time! I also have Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga to work on. I also -also- have Disney Dreamlight Valley to play. Just to name a few games that I've been very excited about. I really need to redo Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order because I never finished that. I've played through a fair bit and I absolutely loved it. Not sure why all of the sudden I stopped, but anyhow!

As for things to watch, I've been very heavily following Hellthyjunkfood, Kingwoolz Games and a few other channels on YouTube (also twitch for Kingwoolz). I started into Peaky Blinders for a second watch through. I still need to finish watching Star Trek Lower Decks and a few other things.

Um....I guess that's kinda it for now, nothing else I can really think of to share or keep track of. Just a bit of a long haul with the resolutions but it'll happen!

So after some time to let things settle in and get used to Emily Armstrong and her performances…I think I have my conclusion.

First off, being a musician myself for over 18 years I have nothing but respect for talented performers and musicians of all kinds. I do feel that Emily Armstrong is a good singer, she has a solid range and a good voice.

I was not expecting her to replace Chester Bennington and I do not think even she feels that she is Chester’s replacement. His passing was very unfortunate and he will be missed by all. He had a voice and scream that could crack into your soul with the raw emotion he pulled. He had a massive influence on Linkin Park and he -is- Linkin Park to some extent.

Now that being said, yes Emily is definitely talented and from the preview song that was released on the From Zero album coming out November 15 this year she holds her own. It will give the band a new feeling and most importantly new life.

What people need to realize is that this is not a continuation in the traditional sense. It is a new chapter and I feel like Emily is (hopefully) going to try her best to respect Chester Bennington and the achievements that he accomplished with the band.

My thought is that I will enjoy the music for the fact that it is music. I am not thinking “she isn’t Chester” or anything of the sort.

All that said I still revisit Linkin Park as a motivational band for exercise, getting hyped up and various other moods. I am happy that the band is living on. I feel like that is what Chester would want is for his band members to continue on in his absence.

So yup, another month passed and it’s finally time for football season!!

Um…ok so let’s see…where to start, where to start…

I guess that a lot of things have been happening lately both just in general and in my personal life. Been left pretty tired from that and honestly trying to get by on an average of 4-6 hours of sleep a night. It’s not opportune but I’ll try and survive it.

I feel like I have a lot of things to do but I can’t remember any of them. I guess maybe it’s just a feeling and nothing more because often times it does turn out to be nothing.

It’s been 2 weeks since my beach trip and all I can think of is going back. I know it’s not a realistic thing to do right now unless I go on weekends but I was truly so happy over there and just felt myself unwinding immensely. I took home enough sand to fill a bigger jar and one small vial to keep my heart grounded to the beach. I truly miss it…the jeep experiences…the atmosphere and everything else.

As for things I’ve done recently, I watched TMNT (1990) and Kronk’s New Groove both for the first time so that was fun. I also played some Grounded, more Little Kitty Big City, Lawnmowing Simulator, Farming Simulator and PowerWash Simulator.

Lost a lot of traction on my diet and exercise but I feel like I’m getting back into that now thankfully. Workout early this morning went well and I feel like I can sustain it more often than I did previously.

Just kinda trying to break the beach blues and prepare for autumn and Halloween season. I especially have tons of ideas for jeep decorations and such so that’ll be a fun time.

Something to look forward to I suppose

So yeah, a bit late I suppose, but better late than never!

As far as things go, I've been slacking a little bit with my workouts, but that's alright. I've gotten back into them this week and I honestly do feel a whole lot better after just the first one. I feel like hitting the 10,000 steps a day goal is both good for me and very motivational. I really want to keep that up and also the weight lifting. I've lost a little progress because I've taken a few weeks off. Though hey, it can come back, I'm confident of that!

As for other things, I feel like sometimes I don't have the proper time for myself. Though I don't really think that's a bad thing to be quite honest. I mean most of my spare time is devoted to being with those closest to me. So sure, maybe I can't I dunno...build a lego set, or work on some home project. Though that isn't really a bad thing, I enjoy my time with those close to me very much, and it's always something fun that I get up to.

As for my mental state and such, I feel like sometimes I hit burnout, but I try to keep things in check. Through therapy, self-awareness and a checks and balances system I think I'm doing a half way decent job. As someone with ADHD, I've learned that I am far more prone to burnout though, so I think that's just kind of who I am sometimes. It never lasts for long because I get that energy right back in...that's the weird thing about the part of my life...I don't like to say it's a disorder, because I just live with it as a piece to the puzzle in my personality.

As far as activities, I've been doing a whole lot! watched Aristocats on International Cat Day...I've been completing Kingdom Hearts 1, doing a lot of RP and playing some other games such as Dead By Daylight, Grounded, Farming Simulator 2022, etc.

Overall, I feel like this life is just a constant learning experience and I'm trying to do the best I can! Just gotta keep myself in line and keep pushing forward!

So just putting some thoughts down on the page here more or less!

Over the years I've sustained my fair share of minor injuries during weightlifting. The usual aches and pains, tendonitis, the "where the heck did this come from?!" muscle aches and a plethora of other things.

That being said, over the last year or two I've become a lot more cautious and taken steps to try and prevent injuries. I often wear compression shirts, elbow wraps, knee wraps, lifting belts...even if I'm not lifting anywhere near my own bodyweight for say dead lifts, squats, etc. Better safe than sorry!

So that being said, if anyone cares to read this and hear my advice I can say this. It's a long journey to get where you want to be, there's no shortcuts. It's all based on...for your diet...caloric counting dependent on your body weight and such. Of course, genetics play a part in things too...but your body needs x amount of calories to lose, sustain or gain weight. Keep your nutrients up and eat healthy. Train hard but know your limits. Start off slow, don't ego-lift because that is where you start to either outright hurt yourself or get sent down the road for later injuries. I have had tendonitis in both elbows and that put me out of commission for a good 3-4 months for arm workouts. So that being said, I've gone through the frustrations, the worries, the anxieties and all that..."will I ever lose weight?" "why did I eat that?" "my blood sugar is so high, I'm an idiot for eating sweets", etc. etc. All that stuff comes with it, and just don't be discouraged.

I use the quote a lot because Tallstar is up there with one of my absolute favorite Warrior Cats characters, but I'm constantly reminded by it....

“We all have our flaws. But we overcome them. And sometimes, it's our flaws that make us who we are.” -Tallstar (Tallstar's Revenge)

The moral of this story is just....don't get discouraged, work for you and only you. Yes, those around you matter very much, especially your loved ones. Ultimately though, your choices are for yourself, you made the choice to go for something and feel proud with any amount of effort you've put in!

So as a Wrangler owner myself, I wanted to make a little post about the trend in light of recent events. Miss Allison Parliament has passed away on the 22nd I believe, I heard about it yesterday the 23rd of June. Aside from the Jeep Wave...peace sign, wave, longhorns or otherwise, I feel like ducking has become a hugely iconic part of the community. Of course, some like and some dislike it as with every other trend! However, I am happy to spread the love and pass along a small gesture of kindness if I park by or see a Wrangler or Gladiator in a parking lot. Especially those huge built up rigs, those are sweet! Anyhow though, I want to just out of respect share my condolences with Miss Parliament's family and share appreciation for the CEO of DuckDuckJeep. I can't say I'm very very experienced in the Jeep community as I have only owned my Wrangler since October. Though I am happy to spread a bit of kindness and share some smiles...duck on everyone!

So yeah, another month gone by…my gosh is it crazy how quickly time is going by in general!

Um…not a whole lot to report to be honest. Getting a lot more sunlight lately, out doing more walking and hiking in my spare time. Having a blast getting sun and all that fun stuff. I feel like my cardio is picking up a bit lately! Trying to get the motivation to go back to weight training, I stopped for a little bit and I know I need to get back to it.

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of a dear friend’s passing so I was reflecting on that and such.

Nothing else to report really, still progressing on Little Kitty Big City and some other games. Still wanting to get into Helldivers 2 more and all that but it’ll come!

Also, Happy Pride Month everyone! Hope we will all have a good month and enjoy ourselves!

So yeah, I’m just about done with everything here. I’m going to start focusing solely on myself. My workouts, my eating habits, my streaming and gaming, and my jeep. That’s about it right now, I don’t have the capacity to do a single thing more. I need to finally start healing myself and that’s it. I’ve let this go for far too long and I need to focus on myself.

So the past few weeks have been kind of rough in someways and fantastic and others. I have been very focused on my weight training, but my cardio has been slacking. Right now, I am to the point of balancing both out and getting better in all aspects. I can’t expect to gain results if I do nothing. I am the point of wanting to push myself harder and ready to do so. As far as my training regiment and my diet, this is going to be my top priority. I am ready to make a lot of sacrifices to get to where I want to be. I realize that the road ahead will be difficult, but I truly enjoy bodybuilding and keeping myself fit. Overall, this is going to be my main focus in life. I have to keep things up now while I am still able to lose weight, tone myself, and better myself. It’s better to get stronger now, rather than when I am more injury prone in my later years. I feel like there is joy in training and trying to get stronger, so that’s what I’m going to do !

I can’t do it anytime, I just need to focus on my own goals. I need to get my life in order because if various reasons.

I am forgetting near everything, losing my routine, and outright just not doing well at all.

I am going to be focusing solely on myself because this is not working. I’m just doing bits and pieces of my routine and still losing progress. I am losing sleep still, I am messing up my sleep schedule in general and I just can’t stand it anymore.

I’m not even eating 3 meals a day, I forgot or just outright don’t care about it out of depression. I have been wanting to cancel my appointments because I do not feel like it is worth bettering myself.

Things really need to change and I just want to be better. I have to make some major changes and I can’t let things get to me. I need to keep focused on my goals and be better. More importantly I need to take care of myself a lot more because I am getting sick a lot more often and I feel very malnourished and weaker.

Heck of a way to start May off…

So yeah, I’ve been managing to keep going with my exercise for sure. Setting PR’s here and there and feeling way more consistent! My blood sugar levels and blood ketone levels are definitely on point. I even shed 2.5 more pounds and I’m ecstatic! I just lack two things and they are two very important things.

First off, I am lacking my steady diet that I was doing last year around this time. I am on a modified version of keto with higher protein levels and slightly lower dietary fat levels and a decent amount of carbs from veggies. However I keep deviating from that and eating some things I shouldn’t from time to time. It’s not the hugest deal because I am still exercising a ton but you can’t out-exercise a poor diet.

Secondly and this is my most important one, I am not sleeping well at all. I need a nightly routine that doesn’t disrupt my need to sleep. That means cutting screen time at least an hour and a half before. Getting into the bedtime rhythm and maybe a bit of relaxed reading or something at night before bed. I am really causing myself a lot of damages because I am not recovering fully from my exercise routines and daily energy burn.

I’ll figure it all out though, I just really don’t want to get myself sick again. Last time I fell into this pattern I was sick for a good two week or so period.

So yeah, as an addition to my other journal today....

Diet is a modified keto diet which centers more around the protein percentages being high and the fat and carb percentages being lower. I know that keto should be obtaining fuel from dietary fats, however I do not like that idea. Something feels wrong about it.

As far as my workouts are concerned, I am doing 3 days of weight training a week...I may bump it up to 4 if I feel well enough to do so. I am trying to do the sessions at 3 A.M. before I go to work but if I can't I do them immediately after I get home.

As far as cardio I am aiming to walk casually around the house for a bit and then when 5 A.M. rolls around, do an hour on the treadmill to get a 3 mile+ walk in.

So far so good, I'd say. I really feel like I'm making a lot of progress now that I'm not mucking it all up. I grew so tired of being lazy with these exercises. I genuinely enjoyed them last year and I really want that to continue.

So yeah, it's been a minute for sure. So many things going on and a heck of a busy month both with work and personal!

So I guess I'll start with my usual health and whatnot. I've been doing a lot better with my weight loss and with my exercise routine. Two full weeks of exercise and not a single weight day missed. I know it's like "wow that's not impressive at all" and you're right. However with the flip flopping I've been doing I feel like I'm finally back on track! My diet has been good aside from the minor slip-ups here and there. Almost consistent keto and such.

I am having some modifications done to my jeep and I am very excited for that as well! I'm having steel Rubicon bumpers installed on the front and rear to make the vehicle more trail worthy. I am also having the auxiliary switch package installed to enable me to use things such as pod lights for trails. Lastly I got the "Bestop Sunrider" which is a replacement for the two freedom panels above the driver and passenger seats that makes the Jeep more convertible-esque. I could not be more excited for any of it, it's awesome!

Other than that, just the usual gaming. I DID start streaming for a few weeks already...so far I've done The Complex games and some Backrooms games. Along with Unpacking...a chill game about unpacking moving boxes.

Anyhow though, the main hype point for me is the fact that I'm finally back on the mend in terms of getting my fitness in the game.

Ok so I know that April 1st is not the best day to do anything serious, but this absolutely is a serious journal.

Just kinda chiming in with how things have been going...keeping for self reference and all that jazz.

So the last few days have been pretty good, finally started into streaming on Twitch...which I know is going to be a whole processing whatnot. I'm just doing it to have fun with things and if someone pops in and says hello in chat, that's good enough for me!

As for my exercise and whatnot, I feel like I'm getting better with that too...making some progress with my steps lately. Got around 7,500 on Sunday and yeah it's low for me, but it's higher than my average lately!

Just gotta be mindful, eat a caloric deficit diet (keto is amazing for that), lift weights and do my cardio. I just feel very lucky that I've been able to keep up with all that. Doing some self-help things in addition to that, I won't get into the details but it's all to kinda bring balance to things.

I feel like it's a good thing to be mindful and take time for myself. On another note, had a dentist appointment today so that was kinda...bleh. I joked with the receptionist on the phone insisting that it was some kind of cruel April Fool's Day joke but she was very adamant that it was not. No cavities or any of that junk, so I'm thrilled!

Um....hydration has been hit or miss lately...very unfortunately too. However I have kind of redeemed myself these past few days and I'm hoping to keep that pace up. I really want to make sure I'm taking good care of myself and I am trying my hardest!

Ok yeah, so definite progress last night for sleep. I lifted weights and did all the things I needed to.

Today I’m already done with 5,000 steps of walking and counting. I’m very proud of myself and I just need to keep this pace up.

I feel like it’s the right move to limit myself to the occasional visit to telegram and discord and keep my focus on my health goals.

I don’t really have much desire to lessen my fitness level in any regard and I am hoping I can. Keep at my goals from now on!

I can’t keep doing this to myself. I don’t want to lose progress, I don’t want to keep messing my life up, I am so tired of it all.

From now on I am not going to focus on anything except for my health and well being. I am going to just work on my routines and nothing else.

I keep messing things up immensely and I am starting to feel like my life is spiraling into a bad direction.

I will be on telegram and discord but I will be focusing on my life. I do love being with those that I care about but I am messing a lot up in my life.

Family ties are being strained, my health is going in a bad direction. Overall I am not where I want to be and I need that to change immediately.

I have become increasingly more tired, and more lazy. I am sick of losing progress and I cannot keep anything up in this current state.

It’s about time I take the advice of one of my favorite motivational videos:

https://youtu.be/VEpO_v9utn0?si=xR7Q9Pdqtv0hbs32