It sucks to have that as basically my main art gallery these days, but I don’t trust insta, and I wiped my beloved twitter and haven’t been back. I do still post art here, it’s just much later and less frequently. I still like it here, it just doesn’t vibe with me the way it used to and I go long stretches forgetting it exists.

Anyway follow me on Bluesky I guess!
https://bsky.app/profile/cruxfat.bsky.social

I also have a feed with just my art if that’s all you want
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kd...../aaanhc725hgis

https://bsky.app/profile/cruxfat.bsky.social

I've made this my internet home at least for the time being. I'm a lot more active there than anywhere else (especially here).

I'm back from AC and I'm doing it again!
https://artfight.net/~KeelahButts

I love doing this, it's my safe space to experiment & draw fun OCs.

So weird, right? We all know how shit this year has been for artists. It's definitely taken a toll on my art drive and made me do some reevaluating on why I even do art in the first place. For me, it's not a money thing. (You guys who ask for commissions know that & I'm sorry I so rarely open.) The death of twitter hit me really hard. For the past decade I've been using it as my main art sharing site for better or worse. It left a void for me; made me wonder if I would even keep making art if I had nowhere to share it. I would, absolutely, but it took some soul searching for me to get there. I am on bluesky. I love it and I'm on it as much as I used to be on twitter but I'm not going to pretend it's a perfect replacement yet. That void is still there for me. Pivoting from art for sharing vs art for me has had me getting a lot more into traditional art. I'm painting and sketching and using markers and pens. It feels nice. I've been leaning away from doing "furry art" and trying to get back to fundamentals and actual practice instead of everything needing to be a finished, postable piece. As sucky as this year has been for art, I feel like I've personally grown quite a bit & I'm looking forward to continuing that in 2024.

Will I open for commissions? Maybe. I'm working on using ko-fi as a platform to manage the process and I really like it. https://ko-fi.com/cruxfat. When I do open, I think it will be through there. I'll probably post it here but most likely you'll see it first on bluesky. https://bsky.app/profile/cruxfat.bsky.social. I need to establish set things I can offer with examples. I need to get organized about it. I post on instagram too if that's your bag. https://www.instagram.com/cruxfat/

For cons in 2024, you'll probably see us at Maine's con, furcationland, and of course AC but that's probably it. I think the years of 5+ cons are behind us. Life is a lot these days.
I've been pretty absent on FA for a long time now. I'm not gonna pretend that will change but I will try to make more of an effort at posting here too, need to establish myself more on not-twitter places. Does anyone here even remember me? lol. Well I'm still here anyway. Happy 2024! :)

Just a reminder.
Friendship with twitter is ended, blsky is now my best friend.
https://bsky.app/profile/cruxfat.bsky.social

Wow it took me way too long to figure out how to post a new journal on here now wtf? Anyway for obvious reasons I'm pivoting over to bluesky from twitter. I realized I'm genuinely no longer enjoying myself there due to people with headass opinions being able to pay for greater visibility. Once most folks who are waiting for an invite have a chance to get in, I plan to leave twitter entirely. Come find me here these days:

https://bsky.app/profile/cruxfat.bsky.social

Just wanted to get this on the front of my page if folks come across me here.

I'm not really on FA anymore. I still upload when I remember to but it really just an archive for me.

I am VERY active on twitter
https://twitter.com/cruxfat?t=oYii4.....JI8xA&s=09

And I'm also pretty present on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/cruxfat/?hl=en

As of right now I do not have a telegram. I am on discord very infrequently as Keelahbutts. Thats about it.

(Update: I am on telegram now as KeelahButts)

I miss when FA was relevant but times have changed I guess. If you ever need me, twitter is your best bet.

Sorry I haven't replied to anything firstly. It's been months so I'm just gonna start fresh here. If you're following me on social media or Wolf you'll know we've been dealing with A LOT of real life stuff lately and honestly I'm too mentally exhausted from it all to give it the recap it deserves. Basically I'm done with my AmerciCorps volunteering so I'm home from living out in the woods. I wish I could write about all the ways it changed my life, it was an amazing experience. I got a new job working in a lab creating vaccines for poultry. I'm super excited to start later this month and am so grateful to find a job in my field this quickly. Unfortunately the same day I was offered the job our dog passed away. It was pretty devastating and still is but the days are getting better. The next day we adopted 2 new dogs. Winter the mini husky and Diesel the g shep. They're a handful but doing wonders to raise our spirits. Follow my Twitter for all kinds of dog spam right now. Thst about covers all the things I feel like talking about. I'm open again for traditional commissions. I don't have a new tablet yet so sorry I can't offer my usual variety. Hopefully things will continue getting back to normal around here. I'm gonna try to be more active but arting will be slow for the time being.

Why do I still do this?
Yeah I'm gonna be there, we've got so much going on with new house stuff that I have dedicated almost zero thought to the fact that it's almost AC. I am not prepared at all.

Also yeah, I haven't looked at FA in a while. I dunno if that will change, I'm kinda sporadic on here.



-Where are you staying?
Westin

-What day are you getting there?
The day that Wolf says "okay we're leaving now." Honestly I don't know. Most likely arriving early and staying late.

-When are you leaving?
See above?

How are you getting there?
Probably my car since it gets more than 8mpg and has an actual radio and AC.

-Who will you be rooming with?
The people in my room. Obviously and more than a couple other good people.

-Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Whoever wants to hang out and have some fun. Probably hmu on twitter (@cruxfat) if you need to find me

-How many furry conventions have you attended?
A few? I don't know do people honestly keep a running number? I have no idea.

-Will you be suiting?
Cruxing it up as usual

-Which suits?
Only Smidget. I'm done bringing multiple suits to cons & only wearing one.

-Who do I address you as?
Keelah or Smidget with the occasional Ivy thrown in is fine.

-How old are you?
too many

-What is your gender/sex?
Human female

-How tall are you?
not many

-Single, taken, looking?
Very muchly taken.

-Can I talk to you?
Please do. Depending on how I feel at that moment or the level of my inebriation I will either be terrified of you or talk your ear off.

-Can I touch you?
I would rather you didn't. I mean obviously fursuit hugs are fine but beyond that or out of suit pls no.

-How can I find you?
Look for the short white crux...most likely somewhere near the tall black crux. Or look for the area with the most general chaos & I'll probably be nearby somewhere. (Or just summon me with @cruxfat, pizza might also work)

-Can I visit your room?
Probably but it's not my room so I would say ask first. But if it's anything like last year just randomly come by & you'll be fine as long as it's not sleepy times.

-Can I buy you drinks?
I mean we have more than enough alcohol but I won't turn it down!

-Are you nice?
I try to be. Anything otherwise in unintentional.

-Do you have an artist table?
Nope

-Will you be going to parties?
If I go to them I will be at them.

-Will you be performing?
The dance of my people: generally making poor life decisions

-Do you do drugs/drink/smoke?
Not really anymore, just drink. Plenty of drink.

-If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Most people just yell "crux" but you may need to be more specific depending on the company...

-What/where will you be eating?
Food. At places.

-Can I come with you for food/fun/etc.?
The usual: if you know me sure! Depends what's going on.

-Can I draw in your sketchbook?
I don't have an official "sketchbook" but I've always wanted to start one. Maybe I will and in that case, please do!

-Can I take your picture?
Also the usual: Out of suit is for friends only. In suit take as many pictures as you like. Take all the pictures.

-What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To have fun!

Also protip: Drunk me is almost always good for free art. No promises on the quality.

"What does it taste like?"

"Like green, but like a prickly green mixed with synthetic dirt."

"???"

"You know, like how tomato plants smell before they get tomatoes. Like a sharp green."

"..."

"Imagine licking a sticky metal tomato plant..."

(Me describing the taste of milkweed latex)


But yeah, sorry I've been pretty afk on this site for a while now. Also sorry I haven't been answering comments or literally anything. I tell myself I'll be more active but then I just get busy and intimidated about the social interaction. I have a bunch of art to post but I'm just kind of eh about this site in general so it sits and gathers dust. I'm almost done with this semester now though so I will probably be getting a bit more active in the near future, just bear with me another week or so. If you really want to hear my inane drivel and maybe catch the occasional doodle I'm super active on my twitter. I think it's linked below. That's your best bet to get in touch with me for the time being.

Also back me up if you ate milkweed sap as a kid, THATS WHAT IT TASTES LIKE RIGHT!?

So I know I haven't been active on here in some time. The site kind of died a little and I've been trying to find other active places to post art without much luck. But anyway just wanted to throw an update out there since there's been some excitement in my life.


Last Sat we had the hurricane down here in SC. I was driving home from work in it like an idiot because I live 3 minutes from my work and thought nothing could really happen in that short distance. Well right as I was down the street from my house we got a flash flood warning and a dam burst. All of a sudden there was water washing onto the road and it was getting deeper and deeper. It started to fill up the floor of my car and I was like "shit I have to get out of here" but I couldn't open the door to bail. By this point the water had gotten so deep it was almost to the window and the pressure was keeping the door from opening. My car started floating off into the woods and was filling up past the seats with water, all the stuff inside was floating around me. All I could do was roll down the window, jump out and swim away. Then I had to walk home in the middle of the hurricane, soaking wet after going for a swim in a hoodie and an ankle length wool skirt. Yeah it pretty much sucked but I made it home. There was so much wind and rain I could hardly see, thankfully I knew where I was.


My poor car was totaled. The water got to about half way up the windshield, everything in it was ruined as well. Thankfully I grabbed my bag which had my laptop, tablet, cellphone, and mod and every single one of them miraculously works perfectly despite being fully submerged. I was insured so I'm getting a payment and I should be getting my new car tomorrow. It's a newer model of the same exact car. I just really like my malibus I guess. I'm really sad about losing my car, I've had it for 7 years and it's taken me cross country many times & never given me a single problem. Hopefully this new one will be just as good.
We were without power for about 4 days, but there are people in town who STILL dont have power so Im thankful ours was fixed so quickly. Parts of my neighborhood were just wiped off the map due to the dam breaking. It's just devastation. Thankfully my house was okay. The town is in really bad shape, trees down everywhere and flooding, just a mess. There are a lot of places still inaccessible. We haven't had school all week. Just got our phone service back yesterday but we still don't have internet. Basically this storm made landfall just south of us when we were expecting it to hit FLA first and we were just not prepared for how bad it ended up being.


Even the hotel didn't have power for a long time. We only just got phones & internet back but people were staying in the dark with just nothing. Thankfully it was mostly people shipped in from the power companies to deal with the situation. They're all here till the 17th which is when they expect everyone to have their power back. Tomorrow I go back to school and try to start getting my life back to normal. @.@

I never write one of these but I've been enjoying reading everyone else's so I figured why not. I will second what most people have said: this year felt "off". I have a few theories for why that might be, there were a lot of small kids there and while I don't want to be a dick and discourage that, it definitely had an effect on the vibe for me. We got yelled at a couple times for not keeping it pg and panels were doing minor checks to see if they had to tone it down or not. Also to say the parade went badly would be an understatement. If you were in the front you may not have experienced it but being towards the end of the line was hell. All I will say about that is FOR GODS SAKE KEEP IT MOVING PEOPLE. Really the whole con didn't feel like a furry con as much as a room party con which is okay but just...not what I came for? I dunno. BUT OMG I HAD A FUCKING BLAST!!!! I know that conflicts with what I just said but different != not fun. It isn't fair to compare this year to last because I don't think anything will ever top last year. I had an AMAZING time this year too. Our room was just FANTASTIC! I love you guys so much and I hope we always room together. I'm gonna avoid doing shoutouts because I'm always afraid I'll forget people but if we hung out this year just know you're amazing and you made my con.
I can't remember which night was which because they all just blur together. I got blackout one night so that was a bust, lol. 's wine tasting was a blast as always. Hanging at the waterfront was great, Alkali was absolutely hilarious opening for 2 this year and KILLED IT at open mic! SO proud of him.
Got to make some new friends because "Hey I heard you had some good mead in here". Did some Pittsburgh, drank some Bawls (heh), got my suit filthy as always. (Last white suit ever oh god). This might be the last AC with Battsaults & Smidget because we're making BAT SUITS for next year, super excites about that. um....I dunno I'm getting bored of writing so I guess I'll end it.
Great con, love you guys, made it home safely, will be back for more next year.


and CONGRATS to & on their engagement! <3


'

Where are you staying?
Westoon

What day are you getting there?
Tuesday night...and staying in the airport till Wed morning unless someone wants to come get me OH JOY

How are you traveling?
Im flying

Who will you be rooming with?
Okay here goes:
, , and his bf who's FA I'm not sure, and Bill who has no FA

How is the best way to find you?
I would say look for my ears but I am a short so you're probably better off looking for 's 8' hair spikes. If out of suit I'll either be in my fox kigu or shiba hoody, not sure which I'm bringing yet.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Probably not unless I go to the crux one but I'm not sure I will. If the mood strikes me when something's going on we'll see.

What do you look like?
Gross.
(really though just a dumb pink cutesy crux)

Will you be suiting?
Will I be breathing?

Do you do free art?
If I'm drunk enough I will but it will be drunk art.

Do you do trades?
not usually but see above

Do you do badges?
I sure do but I don't do them at cons.

What is your gender?
the pink one.

How tall are you?
the ears help...but not much

Can I talk to you?
please do!

Can I touch you?
I would prefer you didn't but I'm sure ppl will anyway.

Can I visit your room?
If you're invited absolutely

Can I buy you drinks?
You sure can but I'm not sure I'll be needing them as this will be in our room: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20316769/ @.@

Can I give you stuff?
What kind of stuff? Is it pink?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
If you are you can, otherwise very no.

How long are you going?
tues-mon

Do you have an artist table?
naaaaaaaaaaah

Will you be going to parties?
Sure if I happen to be at one, I will be there. I'm not really going with any set plans.

Will you be performing?
The dance of my people: being a drunk

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
"KEELAH", "SMIDGET", or even still Ivy will work. Or have a shiny.

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
suiting for sure.

What/where will you be eating?
i dunno, probably that goat bagel place downstairs, I like that place. :3 The buffet we went to last year was pretty good, who knows.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Sure if I know you or you've been invited, please do!

Can I take your picture?
If I'm in suit please take all the pictures. If not I'm not gonna stop you but eh.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Get to see Wolf again and be drunk and have all sorts of fun. Oh yeah AND BUY LOTS OF THINGS!!!!!

Hey all I'm in need of some funds pretty bad but I don't really want to offer any large commissions that will stress me out. I'm thinking about doing commissions in the form of YCHs to keep it to one at a time. I dunno, we'll see how things go time-management wise but for now I want to open for some flat colored chibis like this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17831889/. I'll make a proper ad for myself later but figured I'd just let you guys know for now via journal. If anybody wanted one they are $12 US each. I'd love to do a bunch of fall or halloween themed ones but whatever you guys want is cool. Lemme know if anyone is interested! Costumes & seasonal stuff like that encouraged!

So with the new system of having older submissions displaying below more recent ones, I've been getting an influx of favs on things that are really old and horrible and I want to go through my gallery and clear out stuff I don't think is up to snuff anymore. (I'm not complaining mind, I actually really like this feature!) so as I organize myself into folders I'm gonna be deleting a lot of older art. Just a heads up in case you might have a commission in there that isn't saved yet.

Fair warning, this will probably be a long one. So obviously I'm back from my trip to Ecuador. For those who didn't know, I went down there as part of a group researching these adorable little birds called white crowned manakins that live in the jungle. It was a crazy trip right from the start with just about the worst flying experience I've ever had. Not worth going into at this point but 2 broken planes and 3 delays later Delta had caused us to be 24 hours behind schedule. We eventually landed in Quito (the capital of Ecuador and also the highest elevated capital in the world) at something like 4am the day after we should have been there. We stayed in a rather nice little hostel and left just a few hours later on like an hour of sleep for the 9 hour drive away from civilization.


The drive was...intense. People in Ecuador drive like maniacs. The roads are tiny and insanely curvy and people just fly around all over the place, risking their lives just to get in front of someone going kind of slow. I couldn't even tell if there was a speed limit between the pickups full of bananas and pigs going 3 mph and the giant buses with curtains in the window going 300 mph. It was nuts but our driver seemed pretty competent so I tried not to let it freak me out. Once we got out into the Andes though it got a bit harrier. The roads turned to mud in places as we were winding our way up hairpin turns waaaaay up in the mountains. Half the time there weren't even guardrails! If you've been up Mount Washington, think of how you can look down at places and see the drop all the way down...now imagine that drop times about 10 times higher on a muddy road with no guardrails. Wheeeeee! I've seriously never seen anything like these mountains though, and I've seen the Rockies. It was just awesome and I mean that as in the actual meaning of the word awesome. It was jaw-dropping. I know people always say "pictures don't do it justice" but in this case the pictures just somehow lose the essence of what this landscape was really like; what it was like to see it in front of you. I don't even have words. The Andes are intense.


Anyway we did eventually survive the trip to the station. On the way up there is a birding lodge that we got to have our first two meals at. Super fancy because it is a bit of an eco-tourism place. God it was nice there. Wood floors and a fireplace with a deck hanging out over a steep drop from which you could see for MILES. A troop of napo tamarins apparently like to hang out near the deck because they feed them bananas. They were really cool and LOUD holy crap. They got to fighting and you couldn't hear yourself think! It was neat, they sound a lot like birds. Very loud birds who crash around and disrupt everything. Also at the lodge they have feeders for the hummingbirds. I believe in the entire United States there might be 5 species of hummingbirds. Ecuador (which is not even that big a country) has 500. Let me tell you my second of many deeply moving experiences I got to have on this trip. These hummingbird feeders are pretty popular. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say at any given time there might be 50 hummingbirds around them, and they don't just sit quietly. Hummingbirds are loud, aggressive, and territorial as hell! They're like tiny flying chihuahuas! Standing next to the feeder is like standing in the middle of a swarm of giant bees screaming chipmunk noises at you. I think I had the biggest, stupidest grin on my face standing in the middle of this cloud of angry hummingbirds. So incredible. (I'll have videos of this posted too)


But I'm never going to finish this journal if I go into so much detail about every little thing. So eventually we got down to our station where we stayed the whole time. It wasn't bad actually. We had power and hot water. The water was 100% rain water so VERY quick showers but they heated it with propane tanks so that was nice. Our rooms were just cement with 2 small tables and 2 bunk beds in them but thats okay, not like we were there much but to sleep. The first 2 days were hell. White crowned manakins form leks which basically means the males stay in the same general area 90% of their lives. We just had to find them. So we pretty much hiked all over creation listening for them. Sometimes we stood for hours just listening when we heard them to pinpoint where they were. We eventually found a few good spots and set up cameras pointing at where we thought the birds would be and left them. Our job was mainly to hike back out twice a day and replace the batteries and card on the cameras. I don't think I've ever been as sore as I was at first, I could barely walk. Honestly with my leg the way it is I probably shouldn't have gone at all but I'm not about to let that make me miss out on something like this. I did kind of wonder if they might think it would be strange to see me crawling from spot to spot the first night though, but I sucked it up and it did eventually get better after a couple days of hiking...constantly. *cries* And this wasn't your normal fun type of hiking either. This was mountain hiking in 4 inches of mud. But I'm complaining too much. After my body got used to it I actually started to enjoy the hikes and I'm looking into places to go hiking locally now.


There were a couple of girls there with us during the first week who were studying the bats. SCORE! I was going to do my own research into the bats while we were there but this was even better. The bats were caught in a mist net, measured, and then involved in a (totally safe and unobtrusive) experiment and released. At one point I was holding this big pile of bats in my lap (In individual little sacks) and they were all squirming and I was just in heaven. I even got to help with holding & releasing them. I love bats so much, this just made my life like you wouldn't believe. They also made a habit of dive bombing us if we were outside at night at any given time during the whole trip. Most things there didn't seem to have the usual fear of people since I doubt they see them all that much.


One of my favorite things to do was to go on night walks. We would put on headlamps and go out into the jungle after dark, that was when you saw the really crazy things! There were bugs out there as big as my face! Really everything is gigantic there. The trees were just massive, you could barely see the tops of some of them, I can't imagine how old they must be. Anyway I don't know much about bugs so I couldn't tell you what any of them were but oh man it was cool! All kinds of different colors and shapes! Giant spikey bugs and walking sticks and leaf bugs just everywhere you looked! It was like the jungle was moving! Tree frogs too, lots of tree frogs. Lots of unidentified noises (Amazonian yeti?????) too. It was pretty easy to get spooked but in a fun way. We even turned off all our lights and stood out there in the pitch black, just listening to everything. OH OH OH and you can TOTALLY see the milky way down there!!! And SO MANY STARSSSS!!!! When I lived way out in the middle of nowhere I thought I could see all the stars but nothing like this. The more you looked the more stars there were. There was more light than darkness in the sky. Oh and this happened to be when that meteor shower was going on too. It was magical. Again...no words.


Lets see what else...Oh...a poison dart frog jumped on me! lol. Yup. We were all watching it and it decided it wanted to be on my arm which wasn't covered. It was only on me for a split second but I ran all the way back up to the station with my arm flailing out in front of me like a cartoon and washed it for like 20 minutes. Obviously I was fine and now it's just a funny story. I asked at supper how long I should wait to see if I start feeling funny and my prof was like "Oh you'd be dead by now." Hahaha, nice. X3


We also got to see toucans and macaws...like IN THE WILD where they live! @.@ Sorry but I was just...WOW real live toucans and macaws!!!! The station had a view of a valley with the volcano behind it. We could just sit out there watching the volcano as MACAWS flew across the sky...like COME ON IS THIS REAL LIFE!? The macaws made the greatest noises when they were perched. They sort of chittered and mumbled to each other and it sounded just like human speech! They were also super loud. You could hear them from at least a mile away when they were flying. Now I'm kind of digressing into random memories but...


We were just miles from the Sumaco volcano which made for a breathtaking view. I've got quite a few pictures of that. It was neat to watch the clouds roll in and then get held up by the volcano like some giant cloud-corral. Also interesting side note, one of the volcanos we drove by on the way to the station is now just shy of erupting! It's spewing out giant clouds of ash that are falling down on the cities around it and they're handing out masks to folks. This began the day after we left! We wouldn't have been able to get out it it happened a day earlier! @.@ But anyway our Sumaco, while technically being active, did not try to kill us. Thanks guy.


There are so many other things to write about but I doubt anybody's even read this far so I should try to cut it short. There was a jaguar there but we didn't actually see it. We saw it's footprints, and trails where it had been walking. We did go out one night to where we thought it had been to try and see it, but we never did. I wouldn't be surprised if it saw us though. That was another time we sat out there with our lights off for a while...just kind of experiencing the place.


fast forward fast forward...lots of awesome thing that I don't feel like writing about...zooooooooom
Okay so on the way home we finally got to spend some time in Quito which was a neat city. It was a bit unnerving to be in a city where everyone speaks Spanish, not gonna lie. We went to a huge market, successfully did not get robbed. Bought me a South American energy drink which was yum! Ummmm...lots of Quito things...I'm getting tired. Idk like...there was just so much that happened. We even went to a natural hot spring bath...oh that was niiiiiiice. My actual journal is 15 pages typed up, 12pt font, single spaced. I just can't even begin to tell all my experiences here. I mean the whole thing was life-changing. It really was.


I have 400 photos. My internet sucks. There is no way I'm gonna upload them all and even what I've been doing has been a nightmare. Nothing is working. Right now I'm struggling with flickr and about to give up honestly.
I think I've FINALLY gotten some semblance of an album up. This isn't everything by far, but I hope you enjoy. (and I hope it works)



TLDR: IT WAS AWESOME HERE'S THE PICS

https://www.flickr.com/photos/13555.....57657456384801
More to come (and some of the best too, plus more with me in them) as my counterparts post theirs.

Well, back in the country at least. Waiting for a connecting flight to Charlotte at the moment. I haven't slept in about 2 days & I'm exhausted.I took almost 400 pictures so I have to figure out how to share them. The trip was amazing and we got a lot of data to go over. I'll make a proper journal once I'm recovered and I have another one to make before that. Just wanted to let you all know I survived & I'm on my way home!

lol...sorry just the fact that I can say that makes me want to say it all the time. :B Anyway just letting you guys know I'll be leaving tomorrow and coming back the 13th so once I land in Ecuador and we start the drive out to the station I will have absolutely no connection to the outside world. No Wifi, no cell service...nothing. So I'm gonna be AFK for a little while here.

Not gonna lie I am quite terrified. I made myself sick worrying yesterday and I'm sure I'll be a mess tomorrow. Just the fact that I could actually get seriously hurt out there, even though it isn't likely, makes me super scared and I've kinda been just avoiding thinking about it which has been easy since I had FurryCon & then AC to keep my mind occupied but now it's the moment of truth. We're landing in Quito and staying in a hostel the first night, so I've been doing a lot of research on Quito and I am SOOOOOO excited to see it and the Andes OMG! I've never been to a country where folks don't speak English so I'm nervous about that...although there won't be a whole lot of people to interact with once we get out of the city. IDK. I'm scared. Really, really scared. If you guys could send me some good vibes and maybe hope that I don't get hurt and come home safe it would mean a lot. I'm having a lot of doubt at the moment. Everyone else on the team has done field research before and I never have. I only got the spot because people vouched for me and now I'm afraid I won't be good enough and I will hold everyone back.

*shakes head* I really wish I could stop thinking like that. I just need to get pumped for how amazing this is gonna be. Uuuuuuuuuuugh okay bye all! <3 See ya in a few weeks!

Hey guys, I been trying to make a Keelah av on SL and I'm looking for some feet with with specific qualities...does anybody know of an existing av (or individual parts) that has four-toed feet with prominent dew/thumb claws? I'm basically looking for a sergal foot with four toes. If I can't find it I might just mod the old KZK sergal foot but that would be a pain.
If anyone cares to see what I've got so far: https://twitter.com/cruxfat/status/.....462464/photo/1
I retextured a Ki'lerin head/jaw/ears and paws/fingers and made my own skin & shape. It has been a HUGE pain in the ass but I'm really happy/excited with how it looks so far. I think I have a perfect tail lined up waiting for texture and I still gotta find a way to do the mane but I'll figure it out.

I generally hate these things but this is my first AC so...bring on the stupid questions!


Where are you staying?
the Westin

What day are you getting there?
The 9th I think. Idk, I just kind of go places when people tell me to go to them.

How are you traveling?
In style.
By style I mean driving cross country in my beat up old Malibu.
I did not specify what sort of style.

Who will you be rooming with?
&
We're having a mini-convention of people who's FA names are impossible to type.

How is the best way to find you?
Twitter. As always, twitter is the #1 easiest way to get in touch with me.
@cruxfat
Also if you have my # feel free to text me as well.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
I might if I have some down time and something looks interesting.

What do you look like?
shit.
(I'll probably be with the guy who looks like an asshole.)

Will you be suiting?
Constantly

Do you do free art?
If I'm drunk and you hand me art supplies it is an automatic reflex. I don't even need to be looking at the paper...

Do you do trades?
It depends, your chances are better the more alcohol I've consumed.

Do you do badges?
I will take orders but I won't be completing any at the con since I'm not bringing my markers.

What is your gender?
human female

How tall are you?
5' 3" >.>
tiny ball of cruxy fury

Can I talk to you?
Please do

Can I touch you?
Please do not.
Out of suit anyway, in suit hugs/tackles/whatevs are fine.

How can I find you?
I am pretty easy to find, especially while suiting. (The ears are like a beacon.) Oh yeah and I'll have a sword. If I'm out of suit I'll probably be wearing my angry fox Kigu. Look for a chick with a sidecut and a lot of tattoos/piercings.
Alternately just look for a crux. Any crux. Chances are I'll be that crux or be in their general vicinity.
If you're looking for me & can't find me just twitter me. Please. I'm here to socialize!

Can I visit your room?
Only if invited.

Can I buy you drinks?
Please buy me drinks! I'll probably be up for doing art for drinks as well, yay prostitution!

Can I give you stuff?
ALL THE STUFF! drinks, food, shiny rocks...all of it!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs are tolerated. Snuggles are not allowed unless you are .

Are you nice?
I try to be nice. Sometimes I fail.

How long are you going?
5ever.

Do you have an artist table?
nope, but I will still probably draw for you if I'm not doing anything.

Will you be going to parties?
If I get invited. Usually I'm not cool enough.

Will you be performing?
I will be performing the dance of my people: consuming mass quantities of alcohol and yelling obscenities. (I am Scottish)

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Air traffic controller cones.
failing that "Keelah" or "Smidget" works.

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Somewhere. I am always somewhere.

What/where will you be eating?
Food.
Seriously this is my first time going so I don't really know what's around. If you're going out to eat I'd love to go with you! *puppy eyes*

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If I know you sure, or if I just met you sure. As long as you're not being creepy about it, sure.

Can I take your picture?
If I'm in suit TAKE ALL THE PICTURES! If I'm not in suit just makes sure I know you're taking it.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
HAVE FUN
HAVE MORE FUN
If there's time left: EVEN MORE FUN
also see all my old friends, some of which I haven't seen in years! Also finally MEETING some friends I have yet to meet in person.
drink, party, draw, get some swag, live it up.

I stopped using it a while back because it does not work on mobile. Like AT ALL. But I just switched again & looked at my profile & my little pixel crux's ear is broken! ;_; I've had that thing up there for years & I don't really want to get rid of it but if a lot of folks use beta my profile page might be due for an update.

Also it's 3:30am & I can't sleep so dumb journal is happening.

edit: nevermind I totally fixed it, making this journal completely pointless but will I delete it? NEVAR! I'm still curious if a lot of people are using the beta or not.

Little con in NY next month. :3 Will be my 1st con since FWA last year, damn. Was just wondering if anyone else was gonna be there, I am super many excite!! Wheeeeee!

Are they serious with this garbage? I'm praying adblocker takes care of it because I'm on my phone now but I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT that trash posted so close to my art that I work so hard on. It distracts and takes away from our artwork plus it's just hideous and I really would rather not look at it.
I feel like this is crossing a line and I need to think long & hard about what I'm gaining by remaining here.

Edit: haha, long & hard.

Okay I guess I have to write thins now don't I. Most of you probably already know what happened but for those of you who only know me on here I just wanted to explain why I went silent all of a sudden. In my last journal I talked about taking Mows to the vet & how everything seemed fine and she would get better. Well the next day her blood tests came back and it turned out her kidney had shut down. This happened a week ago today. I had a SUPER LONG journal written out about her life and all the adventures we had in the 13 years she was my kitty. I deleted that journal but it turned out that was all I needed to do to start feeling better. I needed to think about all the happiness she brought me and what a great companion she was. I'll admit I was devastated and could barely function for the first few days. I still find myself greeting her when I come home and sometime I swear I can still feel her sleeping on me. It's hard and I still miss her. I will always miss her. But I'm not sad anymore.

I don't want to go too much into what happened because I've already been through that and am finally at a point where I'm recovering from her loss. I just wanted to explain why I disappeared from FA and while I won't delete my last journal, I can't bring myself to reply to any of the comments. You guys have been wonderful and supportive and your kind words really helped me feel better, I am now back on my feet thanks to your help. I probably won't reply to any comments here just because I don't want to dwell on this anymore. I want to move on and keep being happy.

Hey all! Customary apologies for being inactive. While school's in it's tough to get a lot of art done to post. I have gotten quite a few commissions recently that I'll be sharing so I'm sorry if that bugs you. It will be over soon.

School is going okay but not as well as the past few semesters due to me being kind of out of commission. I had a ruptured cyst that got so bad I had to go to the ER last week. I was afraid it was my appendix & the school doctor was afraid I had twisted my organs around & might need surgery. I have a ridiculous pain tolerance. I did almost all my own tattoos & pierced myself at some point every place you can get a piercing and this was hitting an 11 on the pain scale for me. I couldn't even move. It was awful. I only missed one class but kind of got behind on my studying & homework. Good thing next week is break so I can catch up. I'm all better now mostly but that was a really bad week for me. Hope it doesn't happen again any time soon although I have no doubt it will eventually at some point. Such is life.

Wouldn't you figure as soon as I'm starting to recover now my cat gets sick. Ugh. She hasn't been eating so I took her to the vet today and they think she might have a kidney problem. Got some blood work done and results will come back tomorrow. They said she'll be okay just have to give her supplements and special kidney food. I was so worried I held her for like an hour crying like a total loser. I hatelove this stupid cat so much, lol. She probably doesn't even care about me she's just like "This is the giant that keeps touching me but she makes to food appear so I guess she's alright."

Anyway since I'm about to be on break and all, as long as my work doesn't schedule me (which is no guarantee) I was thinking I might be able to open up for commissions. I'll see how my schedule looks by this weekend. Usually I open up on twitter first & it'll probably be very limited since I only have a week. Feeling like making some badges so maybe I'll take a couple of those. Not sure yet. My twitter is here @cruxfat. Plan to get a lot of cleaning done too. This week off is quite badly needed. Praying for work to have mercy on me.