The following is copy/pasted from 's journal because I am lazy. But yeah, room space available for AC and Furrycon, get you some! If you're interested just ask Wolf about it, or me if you feel more comfortable & I'll ask him. YAY SO EXCITED FOR CONSSSSSS!!!!!! CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN!! <3

---

Okay this isn't me talking any more *clears throat & stops having girly voice*...



Hey all! I reserved the Anthrocon room... so woot! I can make this journal safely.

ANTHROCON ROOM:
CHECK IN: Wednesday July 8th, early morning
CHECK OUT: Monday July 12th
COST: ~$1000
SPLIT: 4 way
TOTAL PER-PERSON COST: $250
ROOM SLOTS:
1:
2:
3: AVAILABLE
4: AVAILABLE

Want in? Let me know!

GAME OF CON CHAIRS ROOM:
1:
2:
3: AVAILABLE
4: AVAILABLE

NOTE: Room for Game of Con Chairs not reserved! Price TBD.

Certain people will have dibs for room space, so first come is not first serve :P. Only running 4 people per room this time for space constraints, and having a quieter room overall. ALSO! Everyone gets a bed!

---

(He gets the final say, just tryin to spread the word :3)

I guarantee I am imagining you as your actual sona talking to me.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I'm about to tell you about this crazy dream I had that I got a kick out of & then maybe some other stuff so if reading about my zombie dream doesn't interest you (& I can't say I blame you) just skip on down to the next part.

So anyway I had a fantastic dream in which myself and my whole family had become zombies somehow but we were trying to keep it a secret since normal folk tended to look down on that sort of thing. We got invited to another family's Christmasthanksgiving dinner because in dream world Christmasthanksgiving was totally a thing and you don't question the dream world. So here we are freaking out because it would be highly impolite to decline the invite but, you know, zombies. So we go to this Halloween store (Halloween must have been around Christmasthanksgiving) and buy tons of "normal human" makeup and spend hours applying it all before the dinner. I was in the bathroom trying to un-zombie my face when wouldn't you know it, my eyeball popped out. Luckily I had a spare but it was black with purple pupils, you know totally inconspicuous right? Whatever I looked badass & I kinda want to draw it.
So here we are all made up like humans trying to not drag one legs & keep our limbs from falling off. We go to this dinner & they've got it all laid out, turkey, potatoes, all that jazz, but since we're zombies, dream logic dictated that we could only eat living flesh. Now we're pretending to eat all the food to keep up appearances while taking turns to leave the table & hunt down the family pets. I think we ate a cat & like 10 goldfish from a fish tank in their living room. Then all of a sudden there's this loud knock on the door. The father opens it & this stuffy looking chubby guy with a clipboard announces he's here to do a random zombie inspection. (I think at this point I started to wake up because I was realizing how ridiculous this all was.) So now we start getting really nervous while the other family is like "what's wrong guys they're just here to check for zombies?" and I started waking up & going all fuzzy but I do remember my eye popped out again & the guy points at me and yells "AH-HA!" & then I woke up.
wtf could that mess possibly mean? lol. I don't think I'm gonna think too much on it but it was one of those dreams that was actually really fun & I tried to go back to sleep & get back to it but of course it didn't work.



THE NEXT PART: Anyway if you read all that...I'm sorry? lol. As for updates since it's been too long since I've given one: I finished my marine course. If you're following me on twitter you probably saw all my lovely ocean pics & all the sciency things I've been up to. It really made an impact on me. I feel more strongly than ever that this is what I want to do with my life. I haven't felt as alive as I did going out in field in a long time, to the point where I was actually quite depressed for a week or so after the class ended. It's hard to explain but it was like being out there gave me purpose. I actually wanted to be alive and doing these things. I felt like for once in my life, I can do something meaningful; I can make a difference. It could also be that I grew up by the ocean and I've been away for far to long. Getting back to it after all these years has felt like a recharge. I'm sure any of you who grew up by the sea can %100 agree with me, it becomes a part of your soul & it's hard to put into words but living inland kills a little part of you inside. I'm not sure where to go from here but now I'm thinking of doing grad school for marine bio.
I had a lot of other things to write but this is already a growing wall of text so I'll keep it brief. Insert here the usual FA journal fodder of emotional issues making life difficult. As usual I go through times where it becomes very hard for me to reply to comments so I appreciate the understanding when my replies come a little late. One new thing I'm dealing with is that for some reason I've become a total bitch. Sounds funny but I'm serious. I usually don't feel any emotions all that strongly but lately I've been insanely angry at nothing in particular and feeling anything so intensely is just really unnatural for me. I've completely lost my filter and have been spouting out some of the most venomous things to coworkers and everyone around me. So apologies if I say anything that may sound unkind to anyone, I promise I don't mean it. Wow I just got the WEIRDEST sense of deja vu and it won't go away, I even feel like I already googled how to spell deja vu like I just did. odd.
Okay I'm shutting up now. Have fun at AC everyone! Oh & if you guys have a crux meet I will be there in spirit, spookily hovering in the corner going "oooOOOOOOoOOOOoooooooh" and maybe throwing chips.

No seriously. I've been noticing here and there people saying "I never get commissions even though my prices are low" or "I don't get any watchers" or things of that nature, then when I go to look at said person's profile the art is always blase' and unremarkable. Not bad exactly, just completely forgettable. Now I don't mean any person in particular, in fact I'm not even talking about anybody I watch or actually know so don't be worried I'm talking about you. I was wondering if maybe some of you guys could give me some pointers on how my art could be better. Even if you can't draw, I'm sure you know what looks good so I'm open to any input at all. I'm not trying to get more commissions or anything but I don't want to fall into a slump of not improving or becoming too generic. Is there anything you guys wish I would do more or less? Any mistakes you happen to have noticed I do a lot? Do you think you could pick something I drew out of a crowd or is it just more dog people? Be honest I promise I won't bite. I would rather know if I'm doing something wrong than not being told for fear of hurting my feelings. <3

-things regarding taxidermy below, please do not read if that bothers you-


So I was cleaning my case earlier and noticed one of my bird wings seemed to be disintegrating. I picked it up and all the downy feathers were falling right off. I didn't think a whole lot of it other than that was a shame and kept cleaning. Then I got to one of my foxes and noticed fur coming off in clumps from his tail, but not the rest of his body. I am horrified because this particular mount is incredibly special to me. I suspect bugs but don't actually see any. There are little black specks below him and a lot of fallen fur. I don't know what to do, I've had these items for years without a problem, maybe it's the warm climate down here. Everywhere I've looked online has said there is nothing you can do but since I know a few of you here are into taxidermy I thought someone might have some tips. Tomorrow I will amputate his tail and hope it doesn't spread since I just don't know what else to do. None of my other pelts seem to be affected, just these two pieces. *cries* anybody have any experience with this or ideas? I'm so upset. The bird wing was a gift from my mother who actually picked up a roadkill bird and brought it home for me, so it hurts to lose that, I don't want to lose any more!

...and give this guy ALL your money!!!!!!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects.....-battlegrounds
I want this so hard!!!
Even if it only gets the lowest funding that's essentially an accurate 3D reference for a whole bunch of dinosaurs and a fighting game...holy shit how cool is that! If it gets the highest tiers we get potentially an mmorpg dinosaur simulator!!!!!!!! AAAAAUUUGGHHHHOWHOWINBVOWRNOIWRVCMOQ@E!!!
Read the description and tell me that's not the single coolest sounding thing you've ever heard of!

I started school this week. It's nuts & very weird. I feel almost like I'm back in high school again and I'm not sure if I love it or hate it. It's super tough. I'm taking two really hard classes, one normal class & one easy class, and 3 labs on top of that, plus working full time. As you can imagine I've hardly had two seconds to get on here or any other site. ('Course I gotta keep my FR dragons fed.)
You're probably gonna see a significant slowdown in art and what you will see will be personal pieces the I worked on in five minute intervals when I found some down time. Oh yes and classroom doodles, you'll probably see a lot of those. Unless I get super strapped for cash I won't be taking any more commissions because I don't want to make people wait months for art.
So wish me luck, I feel like my life just exploded into some twilight zone like I have no idea what's going on any more it's all so crazy. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. @.@

So I dunno about you but the past few months I've completely given up on youtube. I'm not gonna sit there for 15 minutes to watch some two minute video I didn't really care about to begin with. It's been super frustrating. Then I found this
http://mitchribar.com/2013/02/how-t.....windows-guide/
I tried it and there's still a little bit of buffering but nowhere near what it used to do, I can pretty much just play a video straight through now like you're SUPPOSED to be able to do. I thought I would share since I know other people have been having this problem too. ^u^

I just watched Timmy's dad make a canoe out of rusty machetes & then ride it down some rapids while he's screaming & machetes are flying everywhere. I don't know the context I just looked up at that moment and laughed for like 20 minutes straight.

I'm almost 30, what is my life.

Hey guys, just letting you know I'm opening up for commissions. I had an emergency with my cat that took all my money & then my bank charged me overdraft fees TWICE for like $2 transactions. I won't go into detail because I don't want to sound like I'm whining & begging for commissions but I could really use some extra income right now. I don't really want to get into detail atm. But I'm open for whatever, just let me know what you have in mind & I can give you a price. Sorry I don't have a commission sheet prepared but I can answer any questions.

Edit: sorry for the kinda bleak not-my-usual-self journal. I feel kinda broadsided atm & I'll post a better one tomorrow.

Hey so I'm gonna try my hand @ skype again, I suck at it pretty hard but everyone seems to be on there so I'll give it a go. Name's vapidcrocuta, you should add me! (Just lemme know who you are.)
In other news I was taking my suits out of storage today & was just admiring my Keelah suit & thinking about what a great suit it is & how it's a shame I don't use the character anymore, so I was thinking I should take her out of retirement. Think I might change her species. She was supposed to be an arctic fox but she doesn't really look like one and always gets mistaken for a shep (apart from that one kid who thought I was a possum) because she has the trademark "sheppy beauty mark" so I might just make her a shep or a mix. Would require absolutely no change to her design so there's that. I have so many badges of her too, would be a waste. Anyway I'm really tired so I can't into witty journal...must sleep...I have some crux art to post & some lemur art...but sleep now.
Night.
Sorry for the boring journal.






butts.

Add me!!!! My name's Keelah. Also I'm open to discussing artwork for in game currency & items so if you're broke & want to commission me here's a way to do it. I'm especially interested in any non-starter dragons.
I've been hooked on this stupid game for days now, I wish I had known about it when the kickstarter was open. If you're not playing it you should go check it out, it's a really neat dragon breeding game. http://flightrising.com/

I'm accepting all friend requests & I love peeking at what everyone else is doing with their dragons!

Sooooo the charger for my tablet finally decided to die tonight T_T I can order one online but then I gotta wait for shipping, I'm gonna run down to best buy tomorrow & see if they have anything compatible with a 7 year old obscure brand computer that wont cost an arm & a leg, otherwise I won't be able to work on digital art until the new charger arrives. I had a really great vore piece I was right in the middle of working on too. :(
That being said, I have tomorrow off and would rather not be entirely idle, would anyone be interested in a traditional commission? I'd love to do something grungy & heavy on the linework if anybodies into that, something like this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8155728/ if nobody bites maybe i'll just come up with something to draw. Comment here if you're interested.


OKAY ADVICE TIME!
Like I said I'm using a 7 year old tablet to draw on which has suited my purposes for the past 3 or 4 years but I'm really itching for something better. Trouble is I need something I can draw directly on, sort of like a cintiq only without the million dollar price tag & superiority complex. What do you guys use to draw? I've been wondering about the tablets on the market now and which if any support wacom & would be compatible with something like sai, I don't even know where to start or what brands I should be looking at. The one I use now is by motion computing & it's a dinosaur, but to replace it would be comparably cheap so I may go that route as a last resort.
Anyway, comment here, doesn't have to be relevant, I'm kinda bored.

It made my life.

Now my life goal is to get him to say something to me.

I think I'll draw him a picture.

No you have no idea, I fucking love Vanilla Ice. XD

Most likely the week of the 2nd, after I finish my last math course. sorry my little hiatus unexpectedly turned into my longest absence from the site in four years. @.@ I had some personal issues, then free time became a factor. Sorry, I haven't read any comments or journals since about a month ago and when I come back I'll be nuking most out of necessity. Also plan on going through my watch list with a fine toothed comb. The amount of journals is ridiculous, so until fa comes up with some sort of filter, it's either watch less people or miss out on friends' journals which I don't want to do. So when I get back, new beginnings. I'll also be opening up for commissions again, immediately or shortly after. Those of you who I've already spoken to will get a heads up before I open & probably some free arts. just a little bit longer...I miss you guys! Will be back soon, thanks for being patient! (Oh and I plan to keep doing arts for people who posted on my "refs journal" sporadically. ^u^)

Yeah you may have noticed me pretty much vanishing from the internet for the past few weeks. I haven't been here much but to look at a few arts, havent been on fb, twitter, or tumblr either (or text for those of you who text me.) Usually when this happens it means I've just lost my mind for a bit & I'll be back when I get better. You might think I'm joking or exaggerating but no. I'm at least lucid enough to realize it's happening and it's probably for the best I don't interact with anyone for a bit. Once I start feeling better I post a "sorry for being gone so long" type of thing like this journal here. No worries, it's just how I deal, nothing's wrong, it's a perfectly normal cycle for me. So yeah, sorry for not replying to anything at all. I just cleared my notes and I'll be getting to comments & such. I feel mostly better, but it may just be because it's been cloudy today. (The Sun has been really bothering me.) but it's supposed to be stormy tomorrow too so that will be nice.
Did you guys notice they added a bunch of cartoon network stuff to netflx!? They've got Venture Bros, Chowder, FOSTERS EVEN!!!! I really wish they'd add Flapjack but I'm still psyched. Now all I need is time to sit and watch TV! D:

I just saw a character design posted that was practically IDENTICAL to a monster Keelah design I've been working on FOREVER. FUCK. Like, same EXACT color scheme, similar stripes around the tail, and even the same "V" chest pattern. I am so bummed out, now I gotta scrap the whole thing. ;;_;; (Im not saying it was stolen or anything I've only shown mine to like 3 people, just awful coincidence.)
I've been trying to redesign Keelah for ages to use as a main sona, and I had finally hit on something I really liked. *siiiiiiigh* oh well. I'm gonna keep a lot of the same colors & elements because that's just what the character looks like, I just hope nobody accuses me of copying. *cries*
Sorry for the semi rant I'm just frustrated because I've been working on this forever. :(

You win 1 (one) lonk

https://www.weasyl.com/profile/vapidcrocuta

yes that is a lonk that you won, because I am drunk and that one sentence took me like 5 tries.
Just thought I would repost this now that the site is open.

Sorry for all the journals recently, I guess I've been in more of a talkative mood, though it still takes me forever to respond to comments. Anyway since Ive become more active on other sites, I wanted to let you guys know of other places you can find me.

My main blog:
http://fearfulxsymmetry.tumblr.com/
(art blog stuff gets rebloged here as well)

my art blog:
http://vapidcrocuta.tumblr.com/
(includes WIPs I don't post elsewhere)

my twitter (which I recently started using again):
https://twitter.com/thatgreenyena

my weasyl:
https://www.weasyl.com/profile/vapidcrocuta
(pretty far behind here, dont even have a cover image yet but I'm still working on it, watch here if you wanna see my older stuff getting posted)

That's about all I can think of for now. I never intend to use my DA again since I hate that site so feel free to unwatch me there if you have it.

And as far as what I'm working on, I am almost done with a birthday gift for & and I have the linework done on a secret gift for someone who posted in my refs journal. Expect the first in the next couple days & the latter within a week or so. Art is still super slow going for me due to my work/school load.

You guys don't care about that shit.
But I feel better.

Write journal/delete=therapy I guess.

Hey all just wanted to give everyone a heads up, I'm gonna be going through my gallery in the next few days and removing things I don't feel are up to my current skill level. Some of it is frankly embarrassing, lol. So if there's anything in there I did for you and you don't already have it saved make sure you save it. Most likely to be removed are sketchy doodle things and older work. If it's a newer piece it's probably safe.
I'm also considering making a new account. I hate this user name & I have for years but I just didn't want to lose all my watchers/viewers by switching plus I hate it when people do that myself. It won't be soon though, I have things I need to work out first. I'm trying to redesign Keelah into something I'm happy with. Right now she's kind of a wolf/dragon hybrid but I still don't like it so I haven't posted. I need a new character. Maybe I'll change her to something completely different like a dog or a bat or something. I have no idea. Until I figure that out I'll stay here and keep using Ivy and probably more so Smiget. Just a heads up of changes that I'm planning for myself.
hurm.

Okay so I'm no longer taking commissions, but I do need things to draw sometimes, so if you don't mind having your character drawn randomly, out of the blue, just comment here with a ref. If I get bored & can't think of something to draw, ill pull a ref from this journal here. ^.^
It won't be in order, ill just pick things that appeal to me.
Things that get preference:
-cruxes
-hyenas
-dragons
-sergals
-things that are lanky & generally have a lot of angles/big ears (just my aesthetic preference)
-primates
-grunge

Things that probably won't get picked:
-feathered wings
-tattoos (especially tribal)
-babyfur
-anything overly complicated/overdesigned

Now I probably won't start anything anytime soon, this is for future reference. No porn, but I may do pinups/artistic nudity so don't post if you're not okay with that. Also no guarantee of quality. It will be whatever I feel like doing, from a sketch to finished work. I also reserve the right to draw the same character multiple times if I find one I really like. I also may not choose you at all, please don't be upset if that happens. It doesn't mean I don't like your character. I won't be replying to any comments here unless I have art to link. This will just be like a "database of people who don't mind if I draw them." ;)

Hey all! Like the title says I've made the decision to close down for commissions & gift art for the time being. School has started up again and I just can't get things turned out in an appropriate amount of time. For most of my watchers this will probably be a good thing because I plan to focus on drawing what I want, on my own time frame, when the desire strikes me. I've been having flashes of inspiration to draw things I really want, but then I feel guilty about it because I still owe this or that, so my productivity has been slowing down. I'm only posting one or two things a month right now & I'm not okay with that. So while it seems counterintuitive, by taking in less work I think I'll be putting out more work in the long run.
I DONT WANT YOU GUYS TO GET THE IMPRESSION I THAT I DONT LIKE DRAWING FOR YOU!! I love you guys and I'm always honored when you choose me to commission out of everybody out there. I just need a little bit of me time. To refresh and to practice. It's been forever since I've worked on anatomy and basic skills & I think it's starting to show. Plus I feel like I've stopped growing, since I don't like to experiment on paid pieces.
I will open up again, and when I do I plan to have an organized system with a ToS and a price sheet. I don't plan to increase my prices but just to have an easy to understand reference.
This doesn't effect anything I'm currently working on. If you talked to me before I posted this you're golden.

In other news is anybody else having a hard time using FA on their phone? For some reason the message box in the top right always collapses and when I try to expand it, it registers as if I was hitting "notes". If I want to see submissions I have to expand it super fast, and hopefully try to hit "submissions" before my notes finish loading, same for shouts/comments/journals. It only started doing this a couple weeks ago & it makes the site pretty much unusable for me. There's an app for android I just downloaded, but it's still in beta and isn't all that great.

Thats about it, I'm going to bed. ;)

Any of you going? I'm especially interested if anyone from back home will be there as it may sway my decision to go or not. (I haven't decided yet.) It depends on what my school load will be and it's kind of hard to tell right now. Plus I'm nervous to go to a con down here since I haven't ventured out and met any local furs so if I go it will probably be on my own. At least up north I had the buffer zone of going with a bunch of friends.
Basically it breaks my heart that I haven't done anything "furry" since moving down here. (My suits haven't even been unpacked!) and I feel like going to a con would make me a lot happier. But I'm scared since I don't know anyone here, and I've always heard going to a con alone isn't much fun so I don't know if it would be worth it. I suppose you can't meet new people without putting yourself out there...it's just so hard. *hnnng*

It involves the Hobbit, and how much of a huge dork I am. I want to explain to everyone why I have been spazzing so much about this, not here in particular but in life at large.
I was excited about Lord of the Rings, in the manner that anyone who had grown up with a love of the material was, but for me this is something entirely different and here's why.

My parents split up when I was really young. Old enough to be hurt by it but not old enough to really understand. Before all that though, my father used to read to me before bed, for as far back as I can remember. I'm sure it started with simpler books, but one day, for whatever reason he decided it would be a good idea to read the Hobbit to me. I couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 I think when it started. Certainly too young to understand it. Anyway it became a constant thing. He would read me one chapter a night until it was done, and then we would read it again. He did the voices and sang the songs. (He had the best Gollum voice!) He did the same thing with my brother, a lot of times we would sit together while he read to us. Soon enough as we were getting older, way too old for bedtime stories, we would still ask him to start over when he finished.
He introduced us to the animated version from the 70's too, and while I loved the eerie take on the songs, the visuals never really lived up to the ones in my head. Eventually, my folks split up and I didn't see my dad very much anymore, but I still read the book on my own. Things calmed down eventually, I even live with my dad now even though we were distant for many years, but it was never the same, he was never the same person again.
That is why this movie is so important to me. I feel like having this book read to me every night inspired my love of reading and learning in turn. It absolutely changed my life and made me a different person than I would have been without it. Also it represents the last time in my life I was ever truly happy. That book was my escape and the story means the world to me. I cant even explain the feeling I get just from watching the trailers, it is so far beyond a fangasm.
Anyway, now I'm kind of embarrassed having written that, but I suddenly felt like I needed to write it, to get it out. I feel better for it. I still kind of wish the movie wouldn't happen though. To keep it in my head. Once I see it, I can't unsee it, but I can't NOT see it...you know? Anyway I'm sure it will be amazing and I'm sure I will bawl my eyes out because I plan to see it, with my dad. <3