Hope everyone's had a very good Christmas, Today I just got my 100th Watcher. Honestly with my type of fetish and fantasy, I didn't expect to get even 10 let alone 100. Hope next year I can continue getting stories and great art from some artists to show some more. I appreciate all of you and I thank you for all the support!

So I bought a weapon to suffocate myself in my car, I went to an area where I thought no one will see me and I was setting up but someone phoned the police and they got to me before I could finish it. They then also confiscated the weapon, it's not really a big deal it's like £15, easy to get another. I've never really been a happy person if I have to be honest, I don't really have a family, don't have much friends, don't really have any realistic goals or dreams (I'll tell you what I mean by realistic in a moment) So I don't really have anything that's really practical for staying here to be honest.
The only thing that kind of made me happy are my fetish stories and the art that I've received and made. The unfortunate thing is artists don't draw my fetish much and most have rejected me many times. When I found some artists who are willing to draw it, I got happy because I felt like I'm finally in a position where I can bring my stories to life, but now I've been rejected by those artists because I'm too specific in how I would like the art to look and how the story is told. So I'm back to nothing, it's like am I really that much of a bother? I honestly just took the whole situation as a sign that I don't really fit in with anything regardless what I do. My dream is to be writer and director of my fetish stories but it'll never happen, no one's into my fetish content and no matter how good I make the content, if no one's into it, it won't sell and that is what I mean by an unrealistic dream, they always say keep working at it and you will achieve your dreams but that won't happen in my case. On top of all the rejection, I've lost a lot of money due to circumstances and I can't afford anymore commissions even if artists would take it on, I can't do it. I at least currently have an artist doing something for me and that could the last piece I'll upload to this site unless I kill myself before he finishes it. There's a possible chance the money thing might get sorted in court and even if it did, like I said, I still couldn't get artists to work on my content anyway so it is an L however I look at it. But like I said, I have taken it all as a sign and I honestly believe I have no more to offer to this world and the world has nothing more to offer me, I have ordered the weapon again and this time I'll find somewhere where the police won't find me.

So in closing, if any of you notice that I'm not posting, stopped interacting or even logging in, at least you know what's happened

Well this is unexpected but unfortunately I can't finish The Cow's execution because the artist is now refusing to do commissions for me regardless if I pay her or not. It's actually a little disappointing and depressing. I was happy with the pose I had next for what The Executioner was going to do before he started eating him. The depressing part is that she was the only person who would do art for my fetish, everyone else turned me turned me down. It's a shame because I can't draw but at least I can get 3d models made of the characters and I may pose them but they are seriously expensive so I won't just get a model of The Cow because it would only be a few pictures left. I'd rather get new models and start other stories when I can. I have an artist currently working a pic of The Bullyenas doing a little damage, I'm just hoping he won't mind going more towards my fetish. I also have another artist drawing another character which I can't wait to showcase. As for any future Executioner stuff? have to find a new way.

Wow my first journal on this site, didn't think I'd write one but then again, I didn't think I'd ever gain 40+ watchers on here who could read this. I feel honoured that people are interested in my stories and fantasy. I'll be honest I was nervous in the beginning because I know not many people are into my fetish. I knew I'd receive comments like "you need therapy" "you're gone in the head" and others like that. For me it's just different pleasures, what most people may find sickening to watch unfortunately feels like porn to me. I was scared to embrace it before but now I decided since it's only art, I should just do it, I mean I'm not hurting anyone this is just what arouses me. Of course the biggest problem is most artists won't accept my commissions, it's too much for them but more on that later.
There's still things about my fantasy that I still haven't showcased that people could find more weirder than what I've already put, I could either gain more followers or even turn away the followers I already have (hopefully not lol) but yeah I do have more stories and ideas for me to bring on this site.

Firstly, I would like to finish off The Cow-thug's execution, since I got a little more money, I can show more of cow's beating then I was able to show The Antelope and Zebra's beating. So there will be more pictures of that.

There's more victims and stories planned for the Executioner but I've also got more characters that I would like to introduce and share stories about. Male and females and even feral animals cause I have more than just anthro characters. I can say some may act different to each other and some maybe the same. Some may fight differently to each other and some may fight similar but all bite hard and eat to kill.

These are the main stories I'd like to do in the future.
"The Executioner being handicapped?"
"The Executioner meets his match"
"Bullyenas: Violent breakfast"
"Bullyenas: Tag team for survival"
"Bullyenas: Firestrike Solo"
"Bullyenas: Frostbite Solo"
"Bullyenas: Handicap show at the zoo #1 #2 and #3"
"Pluckinator: Slow death"
"Pluckinator: Challenge accepted"
"Tina Tearror: Reptile clan hate her and she hates Reptiles!"
"Tina Tearror: Loves the weakspot"
"Hawkalina: Also has rivalry with the Reptile Clan"
"Hawkalina: Eat or die"
"Scottish lad and pitbull challenges Roger and Rover"
"Rover catches an intruder"
"Evilpike creates havoc"

They may not be done in this order and I may not even get to all of them I just hope I can someday, the problem is money and finding artists. If I have to be honest, I wish they were all animated, that would be dream cause these stories could have life but animation takes long and it costs a lot and that's also if I can find an animator who would do this. Also may do some small projects like download some old models from video games and make small bite pictures and ryona stuff with those.

What I may need to do is find 3d artists and commission them to make models, I'll edit them and move them myself and that would be a big help make the big stories because I can make them have a lot of pictures each cause I would be limited, I may even make them into comics, these are all plans anyway. I know I'll do something, something will happen. I would like to ask, if you know who's making 3d models and commissioning? I'll look as well but if someone already knows a good one, please let me know and I'll check them out.

Well that's all I have to say for now, if you've read all this, I appreciate it, hopefully you all will like my future content and new characters when I get someone to draw them.