A quote that illustrates why I loved Arthur C. Clarke...

"The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion."


Also, speaking of quotes...I found a 60 Minutes news story about gays in the military and while I was happy to see that the majority of blog comments seemed supportive, but there were those few that were not only vehemently opposed, but were just amazingly ignorant and vicious about their reasoning...

It just makes me sad for this country.

The world is a sadder, less intelligent place today because George Carlin died Sunday at 71.

Here are a few quotes that illustrate why George Carlin was as smart as he was funny:

"As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing."

"More people write poetry than read it."

"I often think how different the world would be if Hitler hadn't been turned down when he applied to art school."

"The wrong two Beatles died first."

"The future ain't what it used to be." (A sentiment especially true now!)

I've got seven words to express how sad I am about his death...but you can't say them in polite company.

'Bye George...we already miss you!

Well, fifteen years after the original event that nearly killed her, my wife is in the hospital again with blood clots! *sigh* It's been a loooooong and rough week. (FYI, for anyone who doesn't realize it, yes I am married, and yes I am also gay...long story.)

Anyway, back in '92, Bel had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot to the lung) that seriously almost killed her. She was in hospital for a week or so and she was put on a blood thinner--permanently. A couple of months ago she was sent to a hematologist who decided she didn't need it anymore...and now she's in the hospital with two embolisms in her lungs and several more clots in both legs that have to be dissolved. We'll probably go heavily into debt after she spends a week in the hospital and she can't have the surgery she was SUPPOSED to have this week that was supposed to correct another really bad problem that she will now have to continue living with. Not to mention the fact that if not for the filter she got back in 92, they might have been fatal.

Somebody needs to get sued.

The thought just occurred to me, I've been "gay" for a whole decade now! My epiphany took place when I was 34 and I'm about to turn 44 in a month or so.

Of course, I imagine that doesn't seem like much to most of the gay furs out there. Most of you have probably known you were queer from the time you were figuring out sexuality in the first place. Especially if you are young and have grown up in this more "enlightened"...or at least "aware" world of information I'm trying desperately to keep afloat in. But when I was a teen, my grandparents (whom I mostly lived with when my nuclear family melted down) shielded me from the whole idea that gay even existed, much less that it could in any way touch my life. Gay was something alien and only happened to odd people on television. Also, I was apparently incredibly stupid when I was young.

Things use to go on around me while I was completely oblivious...and I guess the same was true inside my own head. There were plenty of clues that I was a screaming fag, but somehow I managed to ignore them well into my adult life.

And then one day I connected the dots...made the leap...opened my eyes. One day I simply admitted to myself that I liked cock.

It's all been a lot clearer since then...

So I'm four days into being relatively sugar-free.

I say relatively because I've discovered that nearly every kind of processed food out there has sugar content of some sort. So I've tweaked my criteria--I am officially giving up sweets. Things where sugar is the main point to it.

You know, stuff like candy, cakes, jellies and jams, pastries--all that kind of stuff. If I need things that have some sugar content, like juice or meal replacement bars, etc, then I try to find the ones with the least amount of sugar.

It's only one step--don't worry that I think that's ALL I need to do and I'll wake up skinny in a month. I WISH, but I am a reasonable sentient being. I know there's more to it.

Thanks to everyone who wrote with helpful suggestions or even just encouraging words! Now I just need to go a week...and then a month...and THEN I can concentrate on forever.

^0^

So...I have this monumentally foolish idea about my health. It's crazy and it's probably doomed to failure and ridicule...but here it is: I think I'm going to try and give up sugar.

I know! It's crazy insane! But frankly, I'm tired of feeling tired and overweight and having medical problems, etc, etc... If I give up sugar...and ultimately (dare I say it?) caffeine!!!!, I think I would do better in my life.

I have a dream I gave up on years back and that was to be able to wear my absolute favorite garment again. It's a tai chi uniform shirt I got back in '86 I think. It hasn't fit me in probably 15 or 17 years...but it still hangs in my closet, waiting for me to finally abandon my life of gluttony and become healthy and vigorous (I hope) again! Sugar and caffeine are probably the two main poisons in my life...I overindulge in them freely and have been paying the price for it since I turned 30 and my body gave up any pretense of youth!

My chief worry...that I'm such a slave to those two evils that I won't be able to adhere to this resolution even through the weekend!

*sigh* The flesh is weak...and I have a LOT of it!

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

I've always loved this. I need to memorize it and try harder to live by it's dictates. I was reminded of it recently while watching an episode of Kung Fu when Master Po quoted a piece of it (a terrible anachronism, since it was apparently written in 1927 by a poet from Indiana named Max Erhmann.)

I find it more significant and peace inspiring than just about anything organized religions have to offer.

peace out.
^0^

So, here's a Pupdate on what's happening in my life.

First--"The Mark of Aeacus" has been nominated for aprestigious 2008 Queerie! This is a somewhat tongue-in-cheek set of awards bestowed by a podcast called Comic Book Queers, or CBQ. We're nominated in the category of: Best Queer Indie Book for 2007.

For more info (including a link where YOU can vote for us!!) please drop by: http://northwestcomics.com/

In other news, my leg is doing better since the hideous ordeal of the epidural steroid injection. The pain began to come back a bit and I feared that I had gone through it for nothing, but it subsided again and I've been painkiller free for most of this week. Meanwhile all the ER and doctor bills are beginning to come in...making me want to just get it all over with and shoot myself! Fortunately, I don't own a firearm.

Beyond that, my immediate situation is my current race against time trying to finish the new Rocketship Rodents/Professor Chronofur book for the rapidly approaching deadline! As usual, I'm horribly behind, but am working my behind to the bone trying to get it done so that it will be on the Rabbit Valley table at AC! Wish me luck!

Well...for now I have to get back to my violently mundane FT job. *sigh* I'd rather be making PRON!

*SFN!* (snugs for now)
^0^ your friendly neighborhood werekoala-snowmeow!

This morning I was treated to a lovely epidural steroid injection to reduce the sciatic pain I have been dealing with for the past week or so. Right now, a few hours after the treatment, though my leg is still numb and apt to be a bit wobbly, the majority of the actual pain seems to be gone.

But OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!!!!!!!! Did it ever hurt like FUCK!!!!!

Overall, it wasn't too horrific, mostly what I was expecting, but three or four times while they were poking around back there, they either touched or came too close to or did SOMETHING to that nerve that shot violently intense, screaming, Captain Kirk acting PAIN, with a capitol PAIN, down that leg all the way to my toes! I thought the pain alone would kill me, and it might have if it had lasted longer than the few moments it did...

Anyway...just DAMN! Hopefully I will be better now and can get back to the important business of creating rodent porn comics!

Sorry I haven't been on here lately...things have just been too crazy and evil.

*Hugs!*

This will have to be a brief note--because I can't sit at the computer long enough to write a long note. I have spent 2 days in the ER this past week. The first time was on Monday--Bel fell at work and hurt her foot. We feared it was broken and took her to an ER in Seattle--HORRIBLE mistake! We got to the ER just before 5pm and left for the hour drive back home at ONE O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING AM! Eight hours...for an Xray and a perscription of oxycodone. They did give her morphine after the first few hours of waiting...but beyond that, it was a hideous nightmare and I vowed never to set foot in an ER again!

Naturally, I was rushed to one in an ambulance 3 days later. This time it was my turn. I woke up on Thursday morning and discovered I couldn't stand or even sit up for more than a few minutes without a pain in the back of my leg going from a dull ache to a searing, intense agony. Not wanting to go to an ER for what I figure was a pinched nerve, I waiting for a local Urgent Care clinic to open and Edmund drove me to it (I had to lay flat in the passenger seat.)

When we got there, the walk into the building became so excrusiating that I could NOT stand any longer, but sitting was just as bad and I ended up lying on the floor in front of the bathroom trying to make the pain stop for just a bit.

Naturally, this caused all hell to break loose. They assumed I had collapsed, and it was hard to dissuade them because I was lying there gasping with pain. 911 was called. Cute firemen showed up and I was able to explain a bit better what was going on. By then an ambulance had arrived to convey me away from the relatively inexpensive services of the clinic to the ruinous luxury of an ER. Fortunately, THIS ER was a good one...I was only there for 3 and a half hours.

But where Bel only had a badly sprained ankle (albeit severely painful and needed to be bandaged up and kept off of for days), I had lucked out with a deluxe package of bulging disks and pinched up nerves. Joy!

Now I am wildly hopped up on my own set of persriptions--including my very OWN percasets--which has allowed me to sit here long enough to record this event.

So...I worked one day this week...and IT was the highlight.

Well, I had my "sleep study" done last night at Valley Medical. It was much worse than the last one, although only because it's more difficult for me to get comfortable now than it was 8 years ago. Not that's it's ever easy to rest when electrodes are glued all over your head and you have to try and stay relatively still while lying on said wires. Actually, it's just me--I'm just always uncomfortable or in pain these days. I'm middle-aged, out of shape and seem to have early stages of arthitis setting in.

The good news is that after I managed to get SOME sleep--for which sleeping pills were required at around midnight or one-ish--they were able to note my improved sleeping on a different setting than my machine is currently on. So the doctor should be able to easily reprogram my machine so I can get better quality sleep! About time, too! My constant state of exhaustion is definitely impacting my ability to work and even function! Just now I had to delete and entire row "a"s that I made when I dozed right here at the keyboard for a few seconds...and it's not even late yet!!!

Anyway, soon you will hopefully be noticing a far more vivacious, witty and upbeat personality taking over for the sullen, pessimistic and grumpy asshole filling this chair now!

Getting old sucks! Especially when you start young!!

Who knows anything about Astral Projection? I REALLY want to learn to do this for several reasons--one of which is that I hope to sharpen my tenuous ability to focus through meditation. I want to visit other planets. I want to time travel!

I've tried looking it up online, but mostly what I get is commercial sites wanting to sell me books or other study materials. I even have a book at home, but it hasn't really helped me.

I wonder if any of you guys or gals out there in FA land have experience with it...and if you can advise me.

I did it once...many years ago. I didn't go far...just sat up in bed, or rather seemed to sit up even though I never actually did. Everything was totally clear and I felt like I was in a body, but knew that I wasn't. Just before I did it, there was this rushing noise...and I just kind of popped up. Then I felt this weird fear come over me, from feeling dislocated and I was suddenly yanked back down and my eyes opened and I was instantly awake for real. It was a truly bizarre experience, but I've never been able to repeat it.

How about you--how many furs try this I wonder.

So far this year is NOT living up to the high standard I am hoping to hold it to. As I mentioned, I intend to get my shit together this year and bring all my projects and other aspects of my life under better control!

One step in the right direction is that I have a new C-PAP machine...albeit a loaner. (I have to do a new sleep study and evaluation from the doctor in order to get my own new one, but when they listened to my old one, they immediately decided they couldn't allow me to use it any longer.) FYI--for those of you who are too young or thin or healthy to need such a thing, a C-pap machine is a device that helps me sleep because I have severe sleep apnea.

So far the new machine, while quieter and more reliable than the jet engine sounding hunk of junk it's replacing, isn't helping because I have to get used to the new way it works. Hopefully once I have made the adjustment I'll be able to sleep better, although I probably also need a different adjustment (which I won't get til after the sleep study...another month away.)

In any case, one of the major difficulties I am having at the moment is that I am CONSTANTLY tired. Not just a little tired, but severely, sleep deprived...which has made it nearly impossible to work during the week after I get home from my FT job...and makes it pretty difficult on the weekends too. I feel so constantly and overwhelmingly exhausted all the freaking time, it's all I can do not to just crawl into bed when I get home--but that wouldn't help, because when I do I can't sleep. It's a vicious cycle.

But anyway, steps are being taken to correct this issue. I just hope I can make some headway on my work until I get my new machine and new adjustments to it.

I finally managed to finish the breakdowns of the new Aeacus book (which I had to ultimately start over from scratch when I was half way through them the first time...long story.) Of course, once THESE new ones are approved, I still have to draw the final pages and even though someone else is inking them this time, I still have to color them.

The new Rocketship Rodents script is done...including the final segment of Professor Chronofur, so that has to be thumb-nailed and drawn AND shaded for a fast approaching deadline.

Anyway...I'm just rambling at this point. I'm on my lunch break at work and already my vision is blurry and I just want to take a nap. :P So, back to the salt mines. Wish me luck on getting any damn thing done this weekend! ^0^

Uh oh, now I'm whining! LOL *sigh*

So I just heard that Heath Ledger was found dead in his NY apartment. Twenty-eight frickin' years old, a new blockbuster Batman movie on the way to theaters this summer...

FUCK. That kind of thing just breaks my heart. Someone with everything to live for, with a great life and he's screwed out of it.

Anyway, I give him props for doing "Brokeback Mountain", and I liked many of his other movies, such as "A Knight's Tale". So I was just saddened about the whole thing.

But I think I'd be sadder if it's discovered that he did it on purpose. Although...I don't know...it's even more tragic if his life was taken away by someone else. In any case...it's sad.

RIP

Well, we are sending for a replacement for the defective (?) Razr. This time I'm getting a black one. Bel looked on-line and believe it or not, the blue and pink ones had a zillion percent more recalls and problems than the black ones... Go figure.

Anyway, thanks for writing with suggestions and information. I am once again displaying my impressive uselessness in dealing with new technology. It's funny, when I was a kid, I LOVED gadgets and techy, Star Warsy kinds of stuff...now I like old fashioned, retro, bulky stuff. I wonder what that says about my psyche?

ANYWAY, since I couldn't find a workable ST communicator replica cell phone, we're just going to get another Ebay Razr...wish me luck!

*Hugs!*

I've got my new Razr phone...*sigh* I'm trying to understand the manual, but there's one thing I can't find and am confused about--in the top left area where it's supposed to display the provider's name, it says: Emergency Only.

Also, I can't seem to receive calls...and I don't know why.

Anybody know what's wrong????

i can has HELP???

My cell phone is toast!

Actually, it works fine...but the screen is solid white, so while I can call out I have to guess at what number I've scrolled down to. And I have no idea who's calling me.

So I stopped at the AT&T store on my way home last night to ask if they knew what was wrong and if there was an easy fix...or any fix. The lady looked up my records and said, "It says here that you've had that cell phone since, like, 2006!" She sounded horrified, as if I had been neglecting some sacred duty by not upgrading my handset every 6 months or something. I mean, it was less than 2 years old! October '06 to January '08. I have underwear older than this cell phone!

She continued to explain that the phone must be "going out", being so old and decrepid, I guess. Soooooooo...I have to get a new cell phone. Bel ordered me one, but in the meantime I'm using one of our old ones--so for the time being I have my cat ringtone back. I always loved that one.

I then discovered that I had apparently been saving all my numbers to the old phone's memory rather than to the SIM card...so I lost all my numbers. I can still access them on the old phone, but since I can't see them, they don't do me any good. (BTW--if you want me to have your phone number again, please write and give it to me. Thanks!)

Still, I just can't believe the crappy way things are manufactured these days. I'll bet the first cell phone I ever had would still work fine today--it was a bit of a brick and had no style, but it was built! I mean, where would the crew of the Enterprise be if Jean-Luc touched his Communicator and it fell apart? Or if Kirk flipped open his Communicator and the cover flew off and hit Spock in the eye??? For the sake of our future--PLEASE start building things better again! Like the old TV sets with big knobs that worked for 20 years rather than the ones today with NO controls (other than the remote) that work for 6 months and then explode. No wonder the landfills are full!

OK!

I think that at this point, in order to avoid sounding like I'm harping unneccesarily on the subject, that I am going to stop bringing up issues of religion on this forum. I don't want the Christians to feel like they're being picked on, because after all--I reject ALL formal religious organizations equally. Unless something really outlandish or infuriating happens that I need to talk about, we'll just call the subject closed. If you've been following any of these maunderings, you know where I stand:

I am a Secular Agnostic/Humanist (or rather Furryist). ^0^

I think we should all treat this life like it's the only one we get, 'cause as far as we can ever really know--it is. We should treat each other with respect and tolerance. We should worry less about what our neighbor is doing and more about what we're doing. And if you feel that there is some kind of overall intelligence behind the scenes, assume it to be a good deal less petty and childish than our books of theology have made "it" out to be, and revere or ponder it accordingly.

That is my feeling about the whole thing, and now I will mercifully shut up about it.

*Hugs*
WP

It snowed slightly in this part of the country last night and even though the rain immediately got rid of what little there was on the ground, there were still an abundance of school delays and closures listed on the radio as I crawled to work.

The list disturbed me as it does every time because of how many dozens of Christian schools there are just in this part of the state. (And for some reason they seem more susceptible to slush and snow than public schools.) I can't help but wonder, how on earth are we ever going to get rid of the theocratic mentality pervading this country when so many children are being sent from preschool up to religious institutions? They don't have to learn about safe sex or Evolution. They can be taught that dinosaurs were once riden around by prehistoric cowboys 6 thousand years ago. They are taught that hurricanes and pandemic diseases are punishments from God. They are taught to believe that praying to an entity whose existence can never be proven is the ultimate solution for the problems of the world and will help them get football scholarships and Oscar nominations.

I know, I know--once again WerePuppy is harping about Christians...god, he must really hate them...etc.

Not true. I don't hate them...I just fear them.

And they keep giving me reasons to...and they keep making more of them by running thousands of schools where kids have no choice but to learn these lessons.

I wish it was against the law to force children to accept fairy stories as reality until they are old enough to decide for themselves whether or not to believe them. Of course...then Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny would be out of jobs.

I don't know if anyone has noticed this....but Mike Huckabee sounds like Kevin Spacey! Close your eyes and listen to him--the Pubs are trying to elect Lex Luthor!!!

Seriously though, he scares me. He doesn't believe in evolution--which just strikes me as meaning he's willing to place his superstitions above rationality. He would definitely try and wedge the church back into the government as much as possible--I mean, he's a Baptist minister for crying out loud! And gays will continue to be second rate citizens with him in charge as they have been under Bush, who is just as prejudiced in favor of Christianity as the Huckster.

If a Dem isn't elected, I see Dark Times ahead for the Republic. Darth Huckabee is tuning his bright red lightsaber.

Well, here it is, the last day of 2007--and not a moment too soon. This past year has been a definite disappointment to me in a lot of ways. Of course, that's mostly my fault--I need to work harder and do more (or at least actually accomplish more). I seemed to be just a bit behind everything...a bit overwhelmed or caught off guard.

I spent too much time and energy bitterly complaining about things I have no control over and not enough time conquering things I SHOULD have control over. So, for 2008 my goal seems clear and my motto needs to be:

"DEAL WITH IT!"

I have commissions that need to get finished--I need to DEAL WITH IT!

I have comics I need to do, no to mention portfolio work so I can get new Magic:TG work--I must DEAL WITH IT!

I have art to do for upcoming cons that I want to get back into going to--I've got to absolutely DEAL WITH IT!

There's a new direction I intend to take with reguards to my furry work, a mythos I want to adopt and illustrate, and to do that I need to sit down and DEAL WITH IT!

So, that's the plan for 2008. I will just stop whining and feeling worried and overwhelmed and I will DEAL WITH IT!

Starting tomorrow. ^0^

I'm feeling very gay and frisky as we head toward 2008. I need a new lease on life, a bold new declaration of gay furriness...and Trejaan pointed out the way: icanhascheeseburger.com

Cute and or freakish kittens doing and saying cute or freakish things. My fave was the one that said: "i poop rainbows". I made a slightly altered one and it is now my avatar for a while! (Besides, I was getting a bit worn out on the moon-phases thingy.)

Anyway, here's to approaching the New Year with indutrious confidence and a determination to make big things happen!

^0^

Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I think marriage is more tradition than sense. Yes, I support the right of gay people to get married if they like, as I don't believe the "institution" of marriage is any more sacred than a civil contract.

Nevertheless...I have to announce that today is, in fact, my twenty-first Wedding Anniversary.

she has a live in boyfriend...and I have a semi-regular date night with a guy I really like...but in an interesting way, our relationship has never been better. I guess the key to a successful marriage is, be friends.

^0^

I just want to wish everyone who has watched my site and commented on my random maunderings and just generally welcomed me to FA and were supportive and kind, a happy holiday season and an excellently good new year! I'm hoping for a much better 2008 than 2007 turned out. Oh, it had it's moments, but in general I felt like I spent this entire year playing catch-up, being screwed over, or just screwing up myself!

So let's all band together and pray to the various gods and higher powers or spirit animals that furrydom can muster to our aid (or look inside and pull happy and prosperous thoughts from your heart if you stand as your own higher power!) and let's make 2008 a great year! Don't let's allow things to get away from us, or let adversity overcome us! Let's be the best damn furries we can be!

*Hugs and scritches and yiffs all around*

Luvs,
WerePuppy

After I wrote my last journal entry, I was sort of out of touch (internet-wise) for a couple of days...and when I logged in to see if anyone had responded to the entry, I discovered that I had been left way behind! LOL I'm still trying to catch up on what everyone wrote.

But I was thinking--maybe we're headed towards a new Enlightenment in this country. People talk about America as being a Christian nation, but really--the Founding Fathers were children of the Enlightenment era. Many of them were Deists, believing in a non-anthropomorphic type of God rather than the manipulative, personal God of the Judeo-Christians. Their overriding philosophy was inspired by the ideals of human rights and dignity. In that way, God was less important than Man, and this seems like a better ideal by which Man should govern himself. After all, no two groups (and sometimes even individuals) can agree on what God is, wants or represents--but we all have a keen interest in our own needs and desires. The Biblical God allowed for slavery and vengeful warfare against non-believers, murdering "sinners" (such as adulterers) but we as enlightened human beings can agree that those things are actually bad.

The government is merely a tool for people to live together in relative safety and harmony...a way for us to regulate our natural passions and greed, so that we don't have fight and kill for basic rights and freedoms. At least, that's all it should be. God really has no business being involved in it--His "laws" are for the benefit of His world, the afterlife beyond this one (if such a thing even exists--another thing people can't agree on or prove in any way.)

Meanwhile...we just need an "enlightened" candidate or two. *sigh* Maybe NEXT time around.