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Why This Account is Inactive
Posted a year agoI've kinda abandoned this account. I still get art, just don't really care about posting it here because it's not important to me to post here. I'm sure most people who know me can draw conclusions as to why, but it's not really obvious.
I have borderline personality disorder, was diagnosed in early 2020, about a few months after I stopped using this site. Been struggling for years being on social websites, like FurAffinity, because I've found myself to have constantly dragged myself into a loop of seeing problematic individuals or people seeking attention by being problematic, and I felt like it was my duty as an activist and someone who strives for peace, to interact with these people, and tell them why they're wrong. If I didn't; I'm letting people down, people will notice, and harass me over it.
I quickly realized that doing such things is counter-productive, as these people do not want to listen, and they often do this on purpose, knowing they'll get these reactions, and so they can further troll you.
I justified doing such things despite knowing in my mind, because it felt like a lot of leftist activism was absolutist and shamed anyone for not setting the most perfect, pure example of what it meant to be part of the left. If you're not speaking out, talking down on people who are problematic, etc. You're part of the problem. That's how I felt, and I struggle with a sense of perfectionism in how I portray my own personality, that it contradicts things, and my black and white thinking associated with borderline; that aggravated it. Had me turning on people I cared about for minor, almost grey area things that I had arguments in my head about, but because there were negative, harmful implications; I saw those things as all bad.
The main thing really was stuff like feral art. Just altogether I was against it, but obviously now I think there's a lot of nuance to how it can exist in a harmless manner. Just that there may be people who consume it in a degenerate way, and the latter is why personally I don't indulge in NSFW feral any longer. That's just one of many examples that relates to the fandom.
So much of just straight up being on social media; this being my entire interactions with people, particularly on FurAffinity and Twitter; that just led to me often times just wanting to kill myself. I decided at that point not being on the website was the way to go about curbing my terrible impulsive decisions. I was correct.
I think a lot of it too had to do with the fact I don't like a lot of the ethics and moderation here, and especially on Twitter. It feels like very little is done about degenerates (like myself at one point) who are just going around causing problems. More severe punishment should come to reactionaries trying to punch down and harass people relentlessly. More severe standards should be placed on it to adapt to the fact these people often water down their insults to avoid "breaking the rules". Using cryptic language, saying things in a more lighthearted, yet intentionally malicious way so they don't come off as blatant, or can write it off as joking. Those types of things. It's not a problem with only this website, and it's honestly a shame that this site is where it seems to occur the least on.
I tried alternative social media like Mastadon, but honestly communities moderated by people who honestly don't have as much experience and the inclination to moderate things is not the way to do it. I've had far more luck with Bluesky, and I think Bluesky is a lot more civil, more personalized, and pretty easy to deal with asshats who might go on there. Considering it was built upon people who hated algorithm/profitable social media, it's likely to scale well with the addition of new folk, and do its best to keep bigoted morons out who only want to cause problems.
If you wish follow me: https://bsky.app/profile/draggo.bsky.social
As FurAffinity said I could speak in an anonymous way about this, I shall.
I've also kinda refrained from posting social media links here, as I indeed have a stalker who bothers me on sites like here and pretty much any website we share a mutual presence on. Not afraid of them one bit, they're childish as all hell. The entire reason we have issues stems back from when I was freshly 18, immature, and we had two issues with commissions we got. Knowing I have BPD and was very young at the time; I'm sure you can understand why I was immature as hell about it. If you knew the context too, the fact one of the commissions was eerily similar to looking like a cub to people, and another was simply a language barrier issue that I couldn't do much about; you can see why I reacted strongly on the first one, and reacted strongly to the persons harsh reactions to the second.
They've insisted on making accounts pretty much anywhere I exist they know of, and just harassing me off and on. Very much sure that part of it is due to the fact I've had a large change in mindsets and have matured a lot with how I see the world. The leftism, the fact I identify as agender, and many other reasons related to these things I'm sure. They seem to insist on using baseless name-calling to make me feel bad, but I know what I am.
I don't really care about them. They can be this sour individual all they want. They have things going for them in their life from what it seems, so I have no idea why they're that obsessed with me, but it is what it is. I live most of my life without thinking of them generally. Usually just in the back of my mind, like expecting they'd bother me when I reactivated this to commission someone (they did lol). I've moved on from this situation and I just want to enjoy my life.
I'm done being scared of them, and I won't say anything to them, just report them the minute they do anything again. I have all the evidence I need if they wanted to publicize everything.
If you want social media links of anywhere I'm active; here:
https://rateyourmusic.com/~Draggo
(I stream from 11pm CST to 4:30am CST Sunday-Thursday) https://www.twitch.tv/draggox3
If you wish to message me on Discord. Please just note me.
I have borderline personality disorder, was diagnosed in early 2020, about a few months after I stopped using this site. Been struggling for years being on social websites, like FurAffinity, because I've found myself to have constantly dragged myself into a loop of seeing problematic individuals or people seeking attention by being problematic, and I felt like it was my duty as an activist and someone who strives for peace, to interact with these people, and tell them why they're wrong. If I didn't; I'm letting people down, people will notice, and harass me over it.
I quickly realized that doing such things is counter-productive, as these people do not want to listen, and they often do this on purpose, knowing they'll get these reactions, and so they can further troll you.
I justified doing such things despite knowing in my mind, because it felt like a lot of leftist activism was absolutist and shamed anyone for not setting the most perfect, pure example of what it meant to be part of the left. If you're not speaking out, talking down on people who are problematic, etc. You're part of the problem. That's how I felt, and I struggle with a sense of perfectionism in how I portray my own personality, that it contradicts things, and my black and white thinking associated with borderline; that aggravated it. Had me turning on people I cared about for minor, almost grey area things that I had arguments in my head about, but because there were negative, harmful implications; I saw those things as all bad.
The main thing really was stuff like feral art. Just altogether I was against it, but obviously now I think there's a lot of nuance to how it can exist in a harmless manner. Just that there may be people who consume it in a degenerate way, and the latter is why personally I don't indulge in NSFW feral any longer. That's just one of many examples that relates to the fandom.
So much of just straight up being on social media; this being my entire interactions with people, particularly on FurAffinity and Twitter; that just led to me often times just wanting to kill myself. I decided at that point not being on the website was the way to go about curbing my terrible impulsive decisions. I was correct.
I think a lot of it too had to do with the fact I don't like a lot of the ethics and moderation here, and especially on Twitter. It feels like very little is done about degenerates (like myself at one point) who are just going around causing problems. More severe punishment should come to reactionaries trying to punch down and harass people relentlessly. More severe standards should be placed on it to adapt to the fact these people often water down their insults to avoid "breaking the rules". Using cryptic language, saying things in a more lighthearted, yet intentionally malicious way so they don't come off as blatant, or can write it off as joking. Those types of things. It's not a problem with only this website, and it's honestly a shame that this site is where it seems to occur the least on.
I tried alternative social media like Mastadon, but honestly communities moderated by people who honestly don't have as much experience and the inclination to moderate things is not the way to do it. I've had far more luck with Bluesky, and I think Bluesky is a lot more civil, more personalized, and pretty easy to deal with asshats who might go on there. Considering it was built upon people who hated algorithm/profitable social media, it's likely to scale well with the addition of new folk, and do its best to keep bigoted morons out who only want to cause problems.
If you wish follow me: https://bsky.app/profile/draggo.bsky.social
As FurAffinity said I could speak in an anonymous way about this, I shall.
I've also kinda refrained from posting social media links here, as I indeed have a stalker who bothers me on sites like here and pretty much any website we share a mutual presence on. Not afraid of them one bit, they're childish as all hell. The entire reason we have issues stems back from when I was freshly 18, immature, and we had two issues with commissions we got. Knowing I have BPD and was very young at the time; I'm sure you can understand why I was immature as hell about it. If you knew the context too, the fact one of the commissions was eerily similar to looking like a cub to people, and another was simply a language barrier issue that I couldn't do much about; you can see why I reacted strongly on the first one, and reacted strongly to the persons harsh reactions to the second.
They've insisted on making accounts pretty much anywhere I exist they know of, and just harassing me off and on. Very much sure that part of it is due to the fact I've had a large change in mindsets and have matured a lot with how I see the world. The leftism, the fact I identify as agender, and many other reasons related to these things I'm sure. They seem to insist on using baseless name-calling to make me feel bad, but I know what I am.
I don't really care about them. They can be this sour individual all they want. They have things going for them in their life from what it seems, so I have no idea why they're that obsessed with me, but it is what it is. I live most of my life without thinking of them generally. Usually just in the back of my mind, like expecting they'd bother me when I reactivated this to commission someone (they did lol). I've moved on from this situation and I just want to enjoy my life.
I'm done being scared of them, and I won't say anything to them, just report them the minute they do anything again. I have all the evidence I need if they wanted to publicize everything.
If you want social media links of anywhere I'm active; here:
https://rateyourmusic.com/~Draggo
(I stream from 11pm CST to 4:30am CST Sunday-Thursday) https://www.twitch.tv/draggox3
If you wish to message me on Discord. Please just note me.
