So, the past few days, ive been sicker than a dog, ive been in a lot of pain from it as well, but ive also come to realize that I dont really talk to many people, in fact, im terrible at conversations with people. I always have been, im pretty bad at human interaction honestly.

I would like to say thank you to friends and fellow new furs I met, I do apologize about not getting contact info, and would love to have some new contacts.

So, this morning I woke up early ad have been having last minute dread about leaving for Nekocon, not the con, just leaving for it. hoping that a friend can join in the adventure of the con. Then again, knowing she may not be going is part of my dread for the trip there to the con. the other dread for it is the fact I will not be cosplaying at all and I still can afford to get partials for my sona either >////< either way it shall be a grand weekend. I just need to stop dreading the trip there.

I have officially started my artwork again, think I found my go-to drawings. PONIES! ^-^
will be coloring and shading my OC's soon and getting pics up afterwards.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4925623/
A great raffle with an amazing plushie maker. ^-^

Its a wonderful thing when people say they are your friends yet you never get asked to do anything with the group until they are all around you to visit someone else.... honestly, whats the point in believing that they are friends anymore.... whats the point in spending time with those who treat you as if you are non existent when they aren't in the building you live in..... my message to the world shall soon be to fuck off again I guess.... just like it used to be.

There are times where I wonder what I did to deserve everything that has been happening in my life, then I remember all the things ive messed up in my life, all the people ive hurt and the things that I dont deserve, one of which being happiness from all the pain ive caused to the world.
Everyone tells me to just move on and to not let things get me down, but when you hurt the few people you love and care about and then expect to find happiness, its the least valued thing you deserve. honestly, it makes life fun to ponder the things that have happened, while it depresses me at times, i look back and try to learn from my mistakes. and to the people i have hurt, id love to say sorry but for some of them that is not an option but I will have to try my best and make do with what I can.