When I finally became part of that "something," it felt good for a while, but the excitement didn't last long... there were disagreements between acquaintances, friendships were fading, sadness and disappointment

Those kinds of things were exacerbated by the problems that arose within the group of that game, secrets and revelations were something that made me feel worse, especially when the person in that group I trusted turned out not to be real

It was also my fault, because due to my insecurities, I ruined certain things, my anxiety and paranoia intensified, and I became somewhat toxic

After that, I tried to make friends with other artists, it didn't turn out the way I expected, but at least it improved what I was doing with my art, even so, I didn't feel entirely well, I had contact with someone who was also an artist

That person also left, he never spoke to me again, he even told me that he values ​​his clients more than the friendship he had, we had, as for the other friend I had, he did the same thing, he dumped me too, he has more preference for hanging out with other artists and doing things

Those people, those so-called friends I met, it was because of that hentai game, but the truth is they turned out to be just like the others, I gave them too much priority, too much importance, we fought, yes, it was because of my paranoia, we played, we talked about fun things

It's all over now, now I only have memories of that, and memories of the things I could have done, if I hadn't given importance to them or that stupid game, I regret having given so much priority to all of that, now I have to pay the consequences of my mistakes

Although I must admit that because of those things that happened to me, I developed a love for pixel art, digital art, and that I developed good skills in it, so I could do things I like, I still feel that guilt of giving priority to that stupidity of being recognized on the internet for my art, all I could do was realize how stupid I was

All that remains for me to say is something, if you're new to the internet, if you're just starting to learn about certain things in art, don't focus too much on the internet, don't give so much importance to being recognized, because it's not worth it

And what I can say is don't trust anyone on the internet, NEVER, everyone can tell you they're "good people," but you really don't know who's behind that screen, you might meet a female artist, but they're really just a man behind that screen, pretending to be a woman to take advantage of others, you never know who you're going to meet

Don't prioritize anyone, don't put anyone on a pedestal, act for yourself, there's no such thing as true friendship on the internet, sooner or later, the person will discard that friendship for money or to be with someone else, that's all I can say

I have nothing to lose here anymore, I just have to see what happens and never trust anyone again

Hi, I don't do this kind of thing often, like telling anecdotes or life complaints or anything like that, I'll just tell a little about myself, it might be a bit long haha

I'll say that my time on the internet was somewhat... average, at least in the beginning, it seemed somewhat good, over time, it became somewhat strange (the pornography and memes that were out back then) it was fun when I saw content I liked on YouTube

Games were also great when it came to multiplayer, it was a very beautiful time for me when I played it with people, now it's just a simple memory that brings sadness... nostalgia

Then I focused on watching things on YouTube, funny videos and memes, until a weird video appeared on YouTube, something strange and inappropriate, at least in terms of the thumbnails used, it was a game from a franchise I liked, I had it on my console

That game I saw was a hentai version of the game franchise I played on my console, I was curious and I saw the video of that game, the mechanics seemed strange and fun at the same time (there was censorship) that was crazy

I searched a lot about that hentai game, finding many images and pages until I found the game's main forum, the old version looked great, there were strange people, but you could talk about topics related to the game or other things

I became interested in being part of that community, meeting people, and also the developers of that game, so I started making things to show on that forum, things that seemed to be taking up my time, and I didn't know it

Time passed, and I focused on making things about that hentai game, unfortunately, I gave more importance to those things than to other things that were good, it's something I regret because I didn't know it would seriously affect me in the future

I put aside certain things, relationships and other personal projects, even multiplayer games, all because I focused on that miserable game, I was very immature, I didn't know what I was doing, I was blinded by the excitement of being part of something