Greetings folks,

It's that time of year for New Year's Resolutions. And taking a page from CGP Grey and Mr. Beast, it is time to start/continue with Year of Creativity Part Deux the Sequel.

Been a lurker for a long time on the Internet, forgoing the chance to grow myself and experience with the world simply by passive interaction: watching, subscribing, faving, liking. So time to be a little more active and add commentary to creative outlets the same way I add comments to a survey. With dumb dry humor and someone somewhere will probably get a tickle from it. Simply follow the formula of treat others respectfully and offer constructive criticism to grow their brand and character.

So I'll probably be streaming on Twitch, making some YouTube videos, dabbling with my Adobe suite, playing with Blender. All in the name of making something myself with the tools at my fingertips for free and reinvesting in the community that would/may help me get further along in life than I ever had before.

Thanks to current events, work is permanent remote in my field and I plan to exploit that opportunity. Other folks work 2 - 3 jobs and still find time to have their creative outlets. I only have 1, which is more convenient than ever and I do not want to let this rare situation get passed up. Grab life by the horns folks, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

In the words of Nike and Shia LaBeouf: Just do it.

Hi! I've never been away from the community, always lurking, yet certainly not as socially active as most other furry folks out there.

True first world problem here, but when all of your immediate needs/wants are being met, what else is there to do? Yet again I find myself in a relative unease as I have the time to be able to sit down and do the dreaded moment of self-reflection. What sucks is that for the better part of the decade of where I as an an adult am free to do what I please, I never took the time to figure out what I wanted in life. It has been a constant going through life existing and flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to experiences and encounters.

Folks do those "In 10 years I have..." memes and I would like to think that nothing of importance has happened in that time, but thinking about it, there certainly has been. As a rundown I had my first relationship as a long distance one online from my writing hobby. Traveled up and down the east coast to go to AnthroCon and explore the country while taking a much needed vacation after graduating college. Went through another boyfriend that was local before finding who I am with since. Moved to multiple houses and apartments in the local area. Met with people, made friends, made enemies, lost friends. Tried the poly thing for a while, burned and C-4'd bridges, building walls and shields bigger than the Great Wall, emotionally speaking. Bought a house and just now settling to doing it all over again reaching out to the online community, first through a large furry Discord group and some experimenting with Howlr.

This may be the gray muzzle in me speaking, but knowing that everyone has their own problems and crises to deal with is one of the reasons why I do not speak to anyone about what goes on my end. I prefer to not feel like a burden to people. I want to be able to bitch without others using it as ammunition the next time some issue comes up, or wants to solve my problem by giving a solution that may/not fix it. Not that I am afraid to try, but I have already seen the consequences of going blind and following advice without anticipating the after effects.

All this started just because I wanted something to eat. That's the first world problem and the difficulty that comes with the freedom of choice. So many options, just get stuck in a loop of what I can do, but won't do because my mood isn't for it right now? The only thing I have to look forward to is rather simple. Paying off debt, and taking on more debt for the Cybertruck. I may as well settle for a Standard range Model 3 if for some reason that extra $5k is too much.

But that's basically it. Too much for Twitter and too little for a simple journal entry. I once tried to do a daily journal, maybe I can monetize that for YouTube or keep it simple here for whatever the heccies posterity. This sona is mostly abandoned anyway, and I never had an online presence, so any baggage would continue to be unnamed for a non-extant person on the Internet. Ta for now, until the next years long update.

Always been a lurker perusing here at FA and a lot has happened in the past 2.5 years. Not worth going into detail since I'm not important enough to rant. Anyhoos, now a homeowner, still an office worker and working on getting monies under control.

Five year goal, to get squared away with a Tesla Model B or Y and I will be set for life.

Pretty much got out of renting in yearly increasing monthlies that kept putting a strain on mental and financial health. Secured a job with more/less standard office hours, but looking forward to moving on. Having a cushy job is good and all, but it's more productive to personal growth to go into obviously higher and fair paying positions with new companies.

Relationship status has been reset to what has been for 7 years now? Lots of crazy in the meantime, finding out that I'm not necessarily exclusively homosexual, which is fine since I don't get around in mature aspects.

Going to try and be more outgoing and working on, as noted, personal growth. May not be the perfect and socially acclimated person, but want to change that to be less of a bother and more of a fully functioning person. Or decent one at least.

Onward to updating old commissions as I find them, so dates on the pieces may be all over the place as I find and post those.

Have a great day and look forward to meeting up in the socials =0

I was recently asked to select an artist to commission for an updated ref sheet. Of course I couldn't whittle down the entire list of people I followed to a single fave, so I have a list of a few.

Before I list who I found for their quality, price and customer service aspects, perhaps something to note out of this experience. There were a great deal of inactive, deleted. moved accounts I was following for an original list of 485, down to 350-ish. It was kinda sobering to see all the accounts where people were still posting shouts on "scam" artists and "dead/inactive" folks.

I'm rather particular about the folks I follow, mostly artists, a few art watchers, suiters and friends. Haven't of course been particularly active on FA unless it's to watch and follow up on submissions. Most time is spent on Tumblr and Twitter finding more art and such.

One of the spring cleaning items I don't particularly enjoy clearing up is my list of faves or deleted journal entries. If the owner deletes said item, I'd prefer the notice to be deleted as well, rather than a void left of something that was followed, but has now been deleted. According to a friend I spoke to, this has changed with the new site owner, but it's still something that has me saving art outside of FA. Granted, I may not save the artist info in the image metadata, but I also don't go out of my way to crop or edit out any watermarks or signatures. So if something happens to catch a viewer's eye, the style is usually identifiable and I can point out the appropriate artist.

Anyhoo, typical I'm not dead journal so many months or a few years, with promises or goals to do more, but falling short of actually doing it. Mostly life of YouTube and content consumption. There has been some progress in creation, mostly on the culinary side. Then the whole having an engineering job with the 9 to 5 plus hours. Honestly, I have more time than I know what to do with, so taken on the carving out some time to progress and advance on personal development. AKA doing something fun and what I've been procrastinating on. Such as long arse journal entries.

Yep, still got that snarky sarcastic humor that is self deprecating =p

Artists you should follow in no particular order (since I'm reviewing stuff anyway)

 McNubbies

 RequiemBeatz

 ANGO76

 ShibaRin

 casparr

 Ceowolf

 OTTER

 Chibi-Marrow

Wow, it was almost a year. The 'J' months...blek

So a year later what has changed? Still a lazy bum reaching for the stars while sitting on a rocking chair. I guess that's an analogy?

Well, life's been good. I try not to complain too much since most are First World Problems and the rest is on Twitter where thoughts go to die. I didn't realize how tiny text would be on my Chromebook since I'm used to a larger screen and not having to squint out everything I type. Whoo ^w^

I'm an engineer now... an engineer by name anyway. I mean it's pretty fancy when I can say I'm a Component Engineer at an Aerospace and Defense Company. All kinds of fun comes up with that. Moved to a new city, back in my old county. Quite fancy schmancy part of town that I can now afford on my decent salary. No more roommates just more neighbors moving into an apartment for the first time. Been renting homes before, the difference in cost is negligible from shared multiple bed/bath to single bed/bath. The only major problem is that we don't get to go out anymore, fine for saving money, a pain for when we'd like to go out for cons and such. This is a result of having a husky while cute and adorkable, must be with someone or else he gets upset :/

Finding myself with more free time than ever since I'm only taking care of one instead of 3, more manageable messes when it's my own mate's. Um...the world bothers me, but I've decided to take a step back. There's a big commotion about people far detached from ourselves and I've decided to stop giving any regard to their actions. Sure it might affect me, but I am directly responsible for how I deal with it.

Still trying to find my niche hobby. Watching YouTube and reading up on news is fine and all, but it gets boring. Watching all the angles of a videogame or reading up on the developments of the world is rather taxing. As always I /want/ to finish my stories, but I may just end up doing a reboot at this rate?

There are a great many things to be done, I'm only a third of the way through my lifespan, less than a decade of which of where I was in control. Previously, do as others say because they told me to. I have the freedom to do whatever I want. Question is what do and how to go about it?

Eh, just sharing thoughts. If I ever want to make a legit career or hobby out of thoughts, there's bound to be plenty more edits before it's released to the world. Attention to detail, spelling, and grammar are a good start.

Signal boosties for a friend~ http://t.co/CgObQgW4hY

Yet another journal complaining that I should be more active and fail to follow through...whoo overbearing self-deprecation *arms flail*

The advantage to these once in a blue moon updates is that I'm able to filter through what's important rather than bein' a whiny li'l bitch about every single thing that goes wrong. And I love lists because it keeps everything all neat and tidy as I unload my thoughts in packets of micro rants.

Destiny (PS4)
Good news in that the last year I have found a hobby and it is Destiny. When the game first came out, I didn't really give it much thought and with the first wave of critical reviews came out, didn't /feel/ worth getting into. One day, I decided to give it a shot, just to try it out. Since I am normally not a gamer, the tutorial level was brutal >.> because I would stress out every time I came close to death, but landed that shot which killed the thing shooting me. As time went on, I churned through the story and was doing pretty well. I didn't acknowledge I was doing well until I beat a boss for a friend, who was way under leveled. Beat them not dying, whereas they died multiple times. The rest of the game was a grind fest as the reviewers say, but it killed time. I also wasn't into the PvP scene, but with every Control match, I got better with a KDR of 1.1. I still avoid pure PvP because with an objective, at least other players can be distracted with things to do as I play the role of assassin~

College/University
Not planning on going back myself as I had already graduated back in 2012. But my live-in fox who is going, is in turn encouraging me to return as a grad student. This is still a rather fluid development for me. One one hand I would be in financial trouble with credit card debt, new student loans, and healthcare...not to mention the possibility of having to leave my job. The other being that I am truly interested whenever my fox happens to bring up freshman course problems and I can solve them in a snap and the always mantra "The higher degree you get, the better job you'll get." Considering I am stuck at a job where I am now, among other factors keeping me there, that is nowhere near a guarantee. It's not an expectation for me to go back, more like strong encouragement. With 130 post-grad programs to look into vs the undergrad 80, there might be something interesting to pursue.

Roommates
The actual reason why this journal was inspired to be written. Nope, not a rant because lines upon lines of story. And from a third person viewpoint I /assume/ at times, friends will more often than not side with your side of the story than the other. So we're stuck in a place with no easy way to break the lease. I consider losing our security deposit easy. If we could buy our way out, that would be nice. But unless someone dies or the house becomes condemned through no fault of our own, we're stuck. First world problem? Trying to leave a place while others don't have one? We had a chance to let the lease expire or go month to month. Instead we renewed for another year assuming everything would be fine. You know that thing about re-electing a shit politician and hoping they'll change and they don't? Basically the same thing. Lots of tangents, I'm sorry. We're in a place with two couples and a "rescue." The 'rescue' mass blasted looking for a place to stay; we let him stay with us at our last place; had to move out because we were moving to a new place; asked to move back in to our new place because he had a roommate that ditched him; and now he is being asked to leave because the always verbal never physical arguments that happened at the first never stopped at the current. So to alleviate stress and get some peace/quiet, is being told to leave. Power couple number 2 will be staying with us through the end of the lease. Lots of personal conflict in this, but the short of it being failed multi-way relationship. They always pay in full on time and...personal responsibility to take care of those ...who I still care about. Leaving couple number 1st, being myself and fox, just needing time alone together.

Story Developments
The hiatus continues and I still plan on completing my story on SF one day. I've read a little Isolation Play on my Kindle whenever we go out and I get pangs of wanting to write. Fox and I are planning on doing a multi-chapter, year collab so we'll see where that goes. It would be nice to get back into writing again...though I wish I weren't using grimy nerd keyboards to type this out x.x My laptop has cleaner keys than this ratty old things...erff.

Friends
You make 'em, you lose 'em. Some will stay with you forever, others want nothing to do with you. This was a hard fact for me to come to terms with. It's hard to let go of people you've had a lot of good times and memories about. But after everything that's happened in the past year, losing a friend is a lot easier than losing someone you love. I may hold friends in the same level as lovers, but without the emotional attachment. I still care for 'em though. Helping each other out when we can and having someone to talk to in this wild roller coaster of life. I've made quite a few, lost some, made others. There's always an opportunity to meet new people and if anything good can be said about the bad that's happened, it's that I can pick myself up and change for the better. *shrugs*

Yaaaaaay, not gonna bother going back to read/edit what I wrote. Takes too much time on a post that will get buried in time :/

In a recent conversation with  Cobra_McJingleballs

I have decided to pursue crafting a derp suit head. I don't say fursuit for the simple fact that I have no plans on going all out on a fully made suit. I just want to derp around and do some experimenting. On top of the video editing, on top if the story writing. Thankfully, I already have a tail and paws on loan so a partial would be so far away compared to my other pursuits.

Hey, imagine that.

As someone who isn't used to blogging or documenting their life on the web, it's kinda expected.

Can't say I've done much in my time being quiet online. Just working and coming home for chores and reading up on tech I can't have because I'm just obsessed with how cool it is.

But I've been in a funk for the past 4 years kinda since graduating and being stuck in a dead end job since...well I guess it all came down to when I first got my job. Just after school, there was no motivation. At least with school I could strive for A's and understanding the material. At work, clean, clean, clean, by the way I do have a bachelor's degree, clean, clean. I could do a desk job easy, even apply for a janitorial job, I put up with people's sh-- all day already and I don't get paid enough to "deal with it"

My rut probably resulted when I stopped being creative too since my story has been on hiatus for the same amount of time. I just have to read over it again, get a feel for the characters and story.

I just need to be creative is all. Find the time to make things instead of consume things. I wish there were a better way of saying it, but I ...can't think right now xD

Just a little one page piece to test how much my writing ability has been affected by a years-long hiatus

~*~*~*~*~*~

knock, knock

The German Shepherd winced and recoiled lightly from the taps delivered to his head “What was that for?” he snorted, turning to regard the otter walking beside him.

Flashing a smile, the aquatic furre replied, “You looked lost in your thoughts again, thought I’d bring you back to reality.”

The canid developed a frown and sat in an empty seat in the theater, sighing lightly as he popped a kernel into his muzzle. Sighing, he replied, “Just been a lot on my mind is all.”

“Oh?” the otter asked, tail coming about to nudge the shepherd’s leg. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Nothing more than what you’re doing now,” he shrugged. “I kinda need to be alone, but at the same time have someone next to me or else I feel abandoned.”

Sensing the discomfort in the shepherd’s voice, the otter raised a paw to gently stroke his digits across the canine’s chest, earning a hushed snicker in response. With a grin, the paw moved lower to scritch his belly. In turn the GSD started to snicker louder as a blush brightened his muzzle.

“Quit it,” he whispered, nudging his friend’s paws away with the bucket of popcorn.

“You liked it,” the otter snorted before turning back to regard the movie, “It did cheer you up anyway pouty puppy”

Relaxing his frown, the shepherd leaned back and slouched in his seat, popcorn resting firmly between his legs with a tinge of warmth on his muzzle.

“Yeah, yeah you did,” he thought before turning his muzzle to kiss his friend.

Fur is flying, dust is just starting to whip up in a storm, and we're just short of a full on meltdown, but as an English PSA once stated: Keep Calm and Carry On

*takes a breather*

So I've been in crisis mode for a few years, same old thought patterns that haven't really quelled in spite of consulting friends. A "mid-life" crisis of sorts where if I it down and get a chance to think I wonder what is it that I have done in life that is memorable...worth my time.

For what will I be remembered for doing? The good, the bad, the lazy?

It's the little things in life that add up to the grandios ideal of being remembered post-w/e. The sum of our experiences makes the person, seeing the tree in the forest. Paired up with the notion that we do what we want because it's what we want to do. Pointless in beating yourself up over what could have been done, opportunity over the here and now.

Ultimate stream of consciousness, half baked ideas and rambling.

So all those projects I promised on getting on? The disappointment continues, unfortunately. With conditions at work deteriorating every financial quarter, I'll be focusing my efforts on the job hunt. Just cant deal with having a college degree working at a place that classifies me as possessing a high school diploma and restricting my pay in spite of evidence to the contrary.

What have I been up to all this time?

The usual reading up on developments in technology, keeping ahead of the curve with insider sites before actual announcements. The insanity is the amount of rumors going around, so I take all news with a grain of salt. Recently Ive been hanging out on the SoFurry Feed the Beast beta, and before that on the vanilla server. House was griefed on the vanilla server, but I'm not all that upset about it.

Helping to put out the word, to raise monies for a furry who lost their home in the recent OK tornado event.

Fursuit auction, starting bid at $400, ending this Sat May 25, 2013

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10662812/

Finally getting started on the Summer of 2012 AT/DC/AC venture video.

I have decided to just recycle music for this latest project, but shortening it significantly due to lack of video content outside of AC. Shutterbugs we are, but slideshow boredom is one of the last things I want people to go through.

My core of 4 get a preview of the work in progress. It will be my main focus, now that I have reduced my Minecraft activities to 1hr a day and weekends. So less time being in a sandbox and more time content creating.

Hopefully this will be done by my birthday.

With the next year just hours away, figured I would share my obligatory list of things I want to do next year, but may not get around too. Thus the tradition of forgotten self promises continues:

1 - Get creative
I splurged on the Adobe collection as a graduation present, but I have yet to use it beyond making a video and modernizing a few doodles. I'm hoping to get my summer trip video setup to the tune of a MLP remix or another non-copy-issues song. I could use some work with a montage.

2 - Restart writing
My stories are also good 5 or so years old, so it's a story on hold for nearly ever. I'll have to read over my old stories reestablish the plot and get to the nitty gritty. In my absence from submitting written content, I have plenty experience to add ideas, ;)

3 - Balance the budget
Spending has gotten beyond my control and news to be reigned in. I have already started by locking away debit and credit cards. Basically savings big purchases for furry cons and a 'fursuit' of sorts. Mostly it will be a venture of an experimental backpack with cooling and entertainment capabilities.

4 - Superficial Activities
Nothing much to say here other than to increase my squishy thin self. Nothing more than a pursuit of a non-realistic image. But the truth wouldn't hurt to look more like my Fursona.

Furry Apocalypse (House) Party

This is an update to a journal posted earlier. Due to frugality, the party will be held in our 'humble' abode. Parking is limited so carpooling is highly recommended. There will also be limited seating available, approx 30 chairs.

Contact details can be found in the previous post. Bring food; free 50MB Internet, Wii and Xbox 360 games to be used not for take home :3

Contact myself or Foxxin as needed for info or arrangements

So my roommate was talking about one of his friends browsing gfurs, so I take a peek and found my Zeeka commish on page 2.

Whoo popufur for all the wrong reasons xD

So you survived the end of days: 21DEC2012

What better way to celebrate your achievement of outliving the human race than by meeting up with fellow furry survivors for a raid of the local 'mall' ? After staying up all night just to make sure the end didn't sneak up on you, get some coffee with friends and possibly catch a few zzz's at the movies.

This is a dual site proposed event, but I will be heading the one in Pinellas Park. The Tampa side is to operate autonomously or make the drive across.

Event details:
Sat, 22DEC2012
15:00 (3PM)

Site 1
The Shoppes at Park Place
7200 U.S. 19, Pinellas Park, FL 33781
--Coffee @ Starbucks
--Movie @ Regal Cinema (Park Place Stadium 16)

Site 2
Centro Ybor
1600 East 8th Avenue, Tampa, FL 33605
--Coffee @ Joffrey's Coffee & Tea Company
--Movies @ Muvico Theaters

Feel free to contact for additional information about the event(s) : 727.238.7098

All calls returned, all texts returned, and for those of you who prefer email: demet13167[at]gmail.com

And then there's Skype; while I can be reached through this service, the above two are checked frequently: demetalist

PS: I'm confident I'm not the only person to have come up with that abbreviated subject line.

PPS: Sent from my Android device, zomg the typing errors.

With money saving ventures by not attending Furnal Equinox and the decision of local furres not to attend Furry Week Atlanta, funds have been cleared to go to Anthrocon once again.

This year I ought to have a fur suit and gimmick to go with my character. All I can say is get ready to party. When in suit, it doesn't matter how bad I dance, it still looks adorable.

Why does it seem like I have no say in where my life is going? A coworker once told me that it is a normal thing for people my age to wander around the world, 'stick' in their hand, wondering what to do next. I am open to suggestions, but those 'suggestions' often turn out to be things other people want to happen. As a result of not following though with that, they take it personally, and say I don't love them or I never listen or I'm always finding a away to spite them.

Fact of the matter is that I am a person. No matter the relationship, family, friend, or date, I am still able to make my own calls in life just as I am able to vote. There are methods to make me do things, but it's not the same as wanting to do them. These methods are force and fear. To make someone do what they want to pending a threat or punishment.

It's no wonder why I'm stressed out, trying to survive in life as well as relax ever once in a while. I did make a little daily schedule to try to keep everything in order:
- Monday Monk Day - Single day I have a religious observance
- Tidy Tuesday - Cleaning up the mess from the weekend lazies
- Writing Wednesday - Sit for a few hours and get to finishing stories
- Treasury Thursday - Get all finances accounted for and bills upkept
- Fresh Friday - One more day to clean everything before the weekend laziness

A lot of good that did with life throwing in curve balls around every corner.

Since I posted an update, so major accomplishments since the last significant journal entry >.>

Got pumped for my summer vacation: Yeah! That was awesome
Cleaning my room: Getting there, planning on moving out late this year, early next
Story writing: No, I'm sorry. I'm far too lazy, but one day, rest assured the hiatus will end
Gettin' pumped: Nope, still my smexy unshaped wolf self

Built a computer. In the span of 3-days, went from: "Let's do it in December" to "Let's do it today" Now $1.8k later for the entire system, including accessories and warranties, we have a gaming rig scoring 9k in the 3DMark11 benchmarks. The only hiccups we had were getting the motherboard wifi to screw in and cable management. Bootup and OS install went off flawlessly.

Whoo? My journals are about as useful as my tweets.

To get to know people, have connections with the right people. In this case being friends with:

 Foxxin

 Marcius

 Zeeka


Suddenly helped me pick up more furriends in the area, Sarasota, and maybe Orlando. Laziest way to be my antisocial self: watch the crowd as I hang with my group.

Because I self promote to my pool of watchers, this is what I have been working on 'slash' doing, going to Anthrocon and making a movie out of it.



http://youtu.be/uiO-zKdRp5s

I'm going, so bring on the questions! ->

How do you want to be addressed?
Demet is cool. Seriously, Hey, "Demet is cool" come over here!. . . . Nah, just 'Demet'

Gender?
Trans-man-sculine? Guy, dude, I'm a male

Age?
23, next thing you'll start asking me for is location ain't 'cha?

What do you look like
Secret Asian man, 'bout 5'8" stalks around like a ninja

Where/how can I find you?
Hanging around the dealer's den if there isn't much going on in the panels. On the dance floor at night

How are you getting there?
ROADTRIP!!! Putting on at least 2.5k miles one way

What hotel are you staying at?
The one and only CON HOTEL (Westin, yes)

Which days will you be attending?
Think I'm going to drive 2.5k+ miles and not attend all of it? All the days

Do you do requests?
I take it you want art? I don't do that

Do you do trades?
Arts? No

Do you do commissions?
No art skillz

Will you have prints, CDs, or merchandise?
Nope

Will you have Art in the Art Show?
I'm starting to think only artists do these questions, but my answer's still negative.

Who will you be with?
My core of 4 plus candidate:
 amethystthedragon -> Taking 3D photos of everything
 Marcius -> In a fox partial, check out his page for exact appearance
 Saphirus -> Mountain man mode after being on the Appalachian Trail for months
 Zeeka -> Possibly in a hyena partial of his design and construction

What is your main purpose for attending?
Gotta see the biggest furry con at least once as a member of the fandom

Can I talk to you?
Sure! Just be prepared to do all the talking, quite right I am rather quiet. I'll be nice :3

Can I take pictures with you?
If you want to take pictures with a secret Asian man ninja sporting weird T's, go for it

Can I touch/hug/cuddle you?
I will not be wearing a fursuit, so touch/hug/cuddle knowing I will be squishy

Can I hang out with you?
The more, the merrier!

Do you fursuit/costume?
I just have T-shirts with this year's theme as the basis for designs.

What is the best way to reach you?
PM me on FurAffinity or SoFurry and I'll give you my Google number to call/text

Anything else?
I'll have a camera on me as well, so do a silly dance and I shall edit you into a horrible YouTube video of my AC experience. If you want to film me first or want to do a co-op weird out, I'll do it.

A glimpse into why my mental stability is at less than 100%. Written about a year ago, when I was using my friend to get me through class where he had previously used me for everything else. Got this MMS the other day, don’t know why he still had it. But at least I was thought of.

Just going through the motions, but does that necessarily mean anything is being done? For goodness sakes man, calm down. Stop worrying about affairs that have absolutely nothing to do with me. Why can’t I just take the route of indifference like he does? Just don’t care. But I can’t do that, I simply care too much about my friends; if they aren’t happy how can I be happy fairly? There we go. . . feel better? Talk it out nicely/neatly, no curses, no explicitity.

Sit down, crack open a book:
-focus on class
-learn the material
-take no heed of what happens at work
-pay attention and be alert
-be productive and keep the pencil moving
-regress to sanity
-graduate as planned
-contact friends to reply, not say ‘Hi’
-stabilize the spin, don’t go awry
-watch out for the self
-time for the here and now
-never forget why you’re here
-stand to your beliefs and philosophies
-concentrate on the goal
-let go of the personal attachments

My way of coping. Doesn’t make sense, but where I am now is certainly better than where I was before.

--END
18APR2012

After a set of long posts, I figure I ought to write something smaller and simpler. I supposedly graduate in a month as an EE from the University. My uncertainty is based less on doing well in class, than it is that a good chunk of my final grade rests in the hands of my mentor. I built a remote control and it came out well for a first time solderer. Still need to do a little bit of programming and building another circuit on a breadboard (no solder). Hopefully that reflects well enough such that I pass with a C, lol.


Plans (in no order of priority):

Clean my room – It has been a good 5 years spent in the room, but has also amassed a good 15 years of papers stowed away in 2 filing cabinets. Mostly reference materials, but I should probably get rid of the tests in kindergarten on addition and subtraction.

Restart story writing – I made an interesting revelation last night: my Kindle holds docs. So I can carry around my old stories and get ideas to continue my unfinished series. I have a bit of experience to throw into the storyline, but it is still going to be following the plot established years ago.

Get pumped for summer – Apparently I build muscle easily and it’s all for show. While lifting tables and chairs to setup and tear down a party, the appearance of outlined abdominals was pleasantly surprising. This has a pretty low priority because the last thing I need to work on is my vanity.

Get pumped for summer trip – A minor distraction made me write the above item. I have a major summer roadtrip that will take me up the East Coast to AC. Going to be meeting a friend along the way and chauffeuring furs and scalies. My first time to be fully relaxed, hopefully, away from work and school.

Make my T-Shirts – I have the designs ready to build for AC2012 and Megaplex 11. Only need to gather additional materials and use my time to create them.

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06APR2012