Happy New Year! I wish you the best of the best and make your dreams come true!

22. Wish me something

So, to tell a long story short, I deliberately allowed myself to yank my tank and then began to hold on again. But it began to be more difficult for me... Probably due to the fact that the holidays are over and again I'll have to socialize in reality. I hope that studying will still help me not to think about perversions for a whole month.

So 2 weeks passed quickly. And my trip to Vietnam as well. To be honest, the first time was much more interesting, but this does not mean that there were no bright moments on this trip. Okay, get to the main topic. While I was holding on to beat my meat from boredom in hotel room, I came across a very interesting book on psychology called "I hate you - don't leave me" (about borderline disorder) and it almost hit me like a truck, because it opened my eyes to what I really am and what actions I do every day in relation to people close to me. So far I have read only half, but I can say with confidence that this book should be read by absolutely EVERYONE who has ever sworn about suicide, who constantly hates himself and others and who dreams of becoming better, but does not know where to start.

So, I'm much better now. Due to the lack of a phone and, accordingly, quick access to porn, I slowly began to control myself. The desire to masturbate passed almost completely, but still I gave myself some slack and satisfied myself. Of course, this again resulted in a two-hour session of wasting time instead of the prescribed 30 minutes... At least now I know that nothing terrible will happen in a week of abstinence and you can continue the experiment. This time without giving myself a chance to get on this porn hook again

Let's call it "The Week of Nightmares" just because the first 5 days I had terrible dreams of varying degrees of horror and strangeness. I don't really want to tell them, because some are VERY embarrassing, so let's just say that on the fifth day, I couldn't take the pressure and masturbated, breaking my word. On the one hand, again everything remained the same as before - I did not keep my promise and it would be possible to put an end to the further conduct of the experiment. But on the other hand, not only did the nightmares no longer torment me, but I also found an interesting method of negotiating with myself: give a certain number of days for restriction, and then reward myself. It was like that for the first 5 days, so my next threshold is a week. Hope I get it right this time.
PS: due to improper hardening of the body, I caught a cold and fell ill with a temperature, so the brain will definitely not be in the mood for thinking about porn. Needs to restore the body for further achievements!

So, I'm starting a year of celibacy. I won't tell tearful stories about the dangers of pornography on the brain, about my deteriorating health and other bullshit from nofapers. My goal is simple - to fill my sacks with sperm to the limit and not break loose. Well, to everything else, become better as a human being and control my animal urges. I hope that I can keep my word for once in my life. For now, I will write about my feelings for the first weeks, and then every month, so as not to bother you. Wish me luck!
# turned off NSFW in case
# not horny anymore. Only [D E T E R M I N E D]