IT IS DEAD

IT IS NO MORE

IT HAS CEASED TO BE

IF YOU WANT ANYTHING NEW, FOLLOW ME HERE

NEW ACCOUNT:

I am NO LONGER posting here!

You can find me at my NEW account here:

Okay, I've officially moved! If you're still following this account, but not the new one, you can fine me over here:





_{Obey the spinning hat!}

Come watch here - http://www.gametrailers.com/netstor.....e/e3/live.html

Come chat with us here on GamingFurever - http://www.gamingfurever.com/chat

HEY! E3 starts tomorrow, so I hope you'll all be watching and enjoying it!

While you're doing that, though, you should come on over to http://gamingfurever.com and hang out in THE CHAT! I'll be there with the other staff and site members (who aren't wasting their time on, you know, work and stuff).

I've recently been given a position as a game reviewer for  GamingFurever!

If you enjoy games, you should come check us out at http://www.GamingFurever.com and see all the awesome stuff we have, like game reviews, news articles, twitch.tv streams, tips and tricks and a whole gambit of everything you want in a gaming website made especially for furries!

Come visit us or SUFFER MY WRATH.

(I'm posting this here instead of the new account because I'm not sure how many musicians follow the new account)

I'm stuck and need help. You may remember THIS JOURNAL, wherein I talked about this song in great depth.

Well, I've finished the first movement, Annigan's part (and ended it with a spectacularly blistering tapping solo...no really, it literally blistered me), but the next part is not coming easily. At the end of Annigan's section, I'm in a D minor key and I want to switch to a different key for the beginning of Malina's movement. It needs to sound sad, like, grievous kind of sad, but D minor doesn't sound all that sad and there's no real room for a segue into a different key, so it needs to be something that sounds good right next to the D minor. Maybe E major? I'm not even sure, because E major is also not that sad sounding.

Also, I can't seem to write anything that sounds sad enough. The best thing I've been able to do so far was to do a Db major, which is a sad sounding key, but when it's right next to a D minor, it really doesn't work and sounds like a completely different song, which is not what I want at all.

Also, if you want to look at the sheet music itself, I can send you the Guitar Pro file.

Halp plox?

Okay, so a few people have asked this, so I figured I should post this as a journal for everyone (will be cross-posted to the other account).

If you want to stop watching me here, that's fine. I'll be making this move slowly, posting stuff to both accounts, until I have 10,000 pageviews here. Once I hit 10,000, I will be leaving this account. I'll be leaving everything up, since seeing "submission has been deleted by the poster" in my favourites is annoying as fuck and I don't want to do that to you guys.

If you're already following the new account, I'd prefer if you fave things over there. If not, feel free to head over to Kraest and watch that account.

If you want to stick around here for whatever reason, that's also cool. :)

I'm not moving over there yet, but I will be, once I hit 10,000 pageviews here, which is only 868 away. If I keep producing art as I have, that may be only a week or so away.

So, come watch me over there!

Willful ignorance just pisses me right the hell off. When hundreds of people are piling evidence in front of you and one single person says something to the contrary with no evidence whatsoever, siding with the one person who has no evidence is literally the stupidest thing you can do. Every decision you make after taking the advice of that one person while ignoring the mountains of facts and evidence is going to end in disaster.

Ha. I am clever.

Anyway, a few years ago, I came accross this idea in a forum somewhere that this guy would write guitar parts, without the guitar in front of him, mind you, parts that he knew he could not play. Then, he would wait for a few days to a week or so, until the riff was out of his mind, then sit down with his guitar and force himself to play it until he could do it without messing up.

While that is a good idea, it leaves me with the question of WHY AM I DOING THAT WITH THE SONG I'M PLANNING ON BEING MY NEXT EPIC?!

The last two minutes of this thing that I've been working on have been written in this fashion, and playing these parts actually HURTS because I decided to write all of these crazy bits that don't actually sound like they're that hard to play until you actually go to play them!

Whyyy?!

Sweet. Two more minutes left in this section of the song. My plan for this one, if I haven't mentioned it already, is for it to be at least half an hour long. I'm hopefully going to write it about Annigan and his sister, Malina (tw: rape). It's not a nice story. Like, seriously, it's awful.

Hopefully, I can have the song broken up like this:

Annigan - 8 minutes
Malina - 8 minutes
Eclipse - 8 minutes (instrumental)
Annigan - 2 minutes
Malina - 2 minutes
Malina's escape - 4 minutes (instrumental)
Annigan's punishment - 4 minutes (instrumental)
Final ending - 4 minutes

So, that's set up for it to be 40 minutes already, but I'm setting my sites at only 30 for the time being. I'm already close to finishing Annigan's first part, which also includes the intro to the song, which is kind of long already.

If you're wondering why I would actually choose such a terribly dark and disturbing story for this song, it's actually because I'm rewriting a very old song of mine, which was about the phases of the moon. Since it was about the phases of the moon and nothing else, it was actually kind of boring. But, I had the song pop into my head again a few weeks ago, and figured that, since it was my first attempt at a really long epic, I would give it another shot.

So, I did some research into moon mythology and found that moon mythology is quite boring, with the exception of Annigan and Malina. And while this story is, like I said, frankly kind of disturbing, it's honestly the only moon mythology that was not, "And this girl did a thing and became the moon". Like, this is a really meaty story.

So, since my songs that are actual stories are my biggest ones and because this is a story that no one really knows, I figured I would go with it and hopefully make it work.

If I have to, though, I will split the song into two or three smaller ones. I did plan on making the next album with only 7 or 8 songs, because I want them all to be really long (8-15 minutes each), so I could have this song broken up and end up being tracks 2, 4, 6, and 8 or something. Possibly just 2, 4, and 6. I don't know. Whatever happens with it will happen. I don't want to make any big plans yet.

It would be really nice to have a female vocalist on this one, too.

You can listen to the demo I posted HERE.

Doodling a bit and watching a movie. Come join me? NSFW!

http://www.livestream.com/miseryscompany

I'm going to make a new account. This name was actually something I chose waaay back when I first got the internet at home in...7th grade? Yeah, so, like, late 2000, early 2001. I didn't really like it then, and I still don't like it now. I stuck with it for so long because it was familiar and I hoped it would grow on me, but alas, it has not and I'm sick of it.

I don't know what the new name will be yet, mainly because the names that I want have already been taken (various variations of "13" in various languages, since it's my lucky number).

So, once this profile hits 10,000 page views (I'm only 950 away), I'll be switching over to the new account.

I'll be posting another journal when I do figure out the new name, so don't worry about that.

Yo, everyone! I cracked, crashed and caved and did all manner of other verbs starting with the letter C. Except that verb. You know what I'm talking about.

That being said, like I stated in that thar subject line, I made a Tumblr account for my sketches.

So come follow me! :D

For anyone interested in the saga of "my sister is a crazy bitch and I want nothing to do with her".

Just got off the phone with my mom. Even though it was the Mother's Day call, and I wanted to hear how she was doing, she started asking me about things going on with my sister and how I was feeling. She asked if we were straight up split and I told her that I've done my best to block all lines of communication except phone and mail. I don't have a fancy phone, so I have no blacklist kind of thing unless I do that through the phone company, and that costs money I don't have. Her phone has been shut off, though, so she couldn't call me if she wanted to.

So, I told her that unless she sends me a handwritten apology through the mail for the things she said to me, I'm probably going to stay mad at her for a very long time, because the things she said are things you should never say to anyone. Ever.

She also told me that she's been emailing back and forth with my sister and she asked her, and I quote, "What the hell has he ever done to you to make you so down on him for his entire life?". It took an entire day for my sister to reply. Her response was, "Nothing. But..." and then she launched into her pseudo explanation about why I'm a terrible person and all that bullshit.

But she told me that that first word was the only thing that she was looking for. What did I do to her? Nothing. So, she obviously realizes, at least on some level, that there's no reason for her to have said and done the things she did. In her current, whacked out state of mind, I kind of doubt she fully realizes that, that there's no reason for her to treat me like this, nor has there ever been, but at least on some subconscious level, she knows it.

I'm not expecting a handwritten apology to come in the mail any time soon, but I can at least hope for something to finally click sometime soon.

I see this now and again, and it always bothers the shit out of me...

"I'm in a relationship with you, so you can't have any adult pictures of your character with any one else's character."

So... let me get this straight... are you in a relationship with this person, or are you in a relationship with their character?

I... I don't get it.

I mean,  kdbolitho and I have been in a relationship for... coming up on six years, now, which is probably longer than most people here. I've drawn my character fucking and getting fucked by other characters, but none of that bothered him.

Actually, let me rephrase that quote...

"I'm in a relationship with you, so you can't have your [FICTIONAL] character doing [FICTIONAL] things with other[FICTIONAL] characters."

Oh, yeah, an addendum to that would be, "in [FICTIONAL] places."

Possibly, "with [FICTIONAL] characters watching."

That's FIVE FUCKING LEVELS of fiction, i.e., THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE.

This is not your partner having actual sex with someone else in a real place, possibly being seen by real people.

There is no way that this thing, these pixels on a fucking screen, could be any further from the truth!

I'm going to repeat this: are you in a relationship with this person, or are you in a relationship with their character?

I'm doing a picture right now where one of the characters has the bottoms of his feet pointing toward the viewer. Now, I'm not a foot fetishist, we have an embarrassment of foot fetishists here. I, personally, hate feet. I think they're ugly and disgusting. So, as I'm inking this piece, all I can think about is, when I go to post this, I'm probably going to have to make a "NO FOOT COMMENTS" comment somewhere. This piece is not a foot fetish picture, that's just how the character happens to be posed.

Like...I don't care what your fetish is. I do not. That level of not caring what your fetish goes quite a long way. Like, it goes so far that I do not want to hear about your fetish. At all. EVER. That's a personal thing and I think personal things should stay personal, unless you're with someone with whom you're comfortable doing personal things. I am not in your comfort zone, so do not tell me about these things.

Am I alone in thinking about this kind of thing? Like, every time I show the bottom of a foot, or the inside of a mouth or anything like that, all I can think about is the prospect of someone with one of those fetishes leaving comments like that, in which I have absolutely no interest and about which I do NOT want to know.

Comments? Thoughts?

I had sketched something last night that I was going to do today, but, things happened. for those of you who have been following along, you already know this, but for those who have not, I severed ties with my sister today.

The whole thing with my sister today actually happened because of this blog.

Well, that specific blog post was the catalyst, and it all unraveled from there. I posted it to Facebook and she commented, saying that I can’t be depressed, that I’m just lazy and selfish.

Eventually, it moved out of the public eye and into private messages where she wrote me two huge essays detailing how I’m a terrible person and she’s offended because I “think” I have depression. She said, “It offends me and my father”, who also has depression, which I pointed out was hereditary, and also the fact that he’s my father, too.

It eventually boiled down to her telling me that if I want to cut all ties with her, that’s fine, because she wouldn’t want someone like me in her future daughter’s life anyway.

This is, of course, just a tiny fraction of what she said to me. This went on for several hours and I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I just want to forget it.

So she can go off and have a nice life. I hope she doesn’t expect me to be there, because until she apologizes for the things that she said to me, I’m not tearing down this wall that I’ve built.

If I have to go through the rest of my life pretending I’m an only child, well, I’ll do it. I’ve never been so hurt and offended by one single person as I was today.

So, that's why I have nothing to post today. I'll try to post something tomorrow.

I'm done. No more. She says I'm not depressed, I'm just a bad person, lists all of the things that "real" depressed people do and when I explain that I do in fact do everything on that list, she says it's because I'm just lazy and selfish.

So, you know what? I'm done. She can have a good life. I just won't be there for it.

Unfriended my sister on Facebook. Over the last couple of years, she's turned into this crazy person who I just don't recognize anymore. She's trivializing problems I've had to deal with for my entire life when she used to sympathize with me and try to make me feel better. She used to pride herself on her education and would go out of her way to learn everything she could on any given subject, but she's taking everything everything as fact when the real facts are right in front of her. She's constantly, CONSTANTLY, posting things that are obviously not true and she would know that they aren't true if she just did the research she would have done only two years ago.

I'm done. She's not the person she used to be and I don't like the person she is now. She's turned into one of those people who latches onto something and absolutely refuses to change her mind when the facts are brought to light and has this mentality of being all too prepared to go down with the ship, even though the ship can't be saved.

I can't do it.

Because I've been sitting on this sketch for an entire year, I'm doing my damnedest to make sure that its outcome is nothing short of brilliant.

I worked all day yesterday on it, and will probably be working on it all day today, probably tomorrow, and maybe even the day after.

Ffff...

I'm going to write a book about art and call it, "My Whole Body Hurts and I Don't Know What Colour I'm Using".

For clarification on the whole body hurting thing, when I'm painting something, I sit cross legged on my bed and, even if I start off sitting with good posture, I end up slouching really badly. So, when I stand up, it takes my knees and back a few seconds to realize that they should be straightening out. 

New business venture idea! A kit used to create the physical embodiment of your flaws that you build and then beat the shit out of it! Like, say you have terrible anxiety - you get the kit and build this homunculus that YOU feel represents your anxiety, then you destroy it! But it's made of really durable stuff that isn't really easy to actually destroy, so you have to REALLY go to town on it!

It doesn't even have to be a humanoid shape if you don't want it to be! It could be, like, I don't know, maybe something that looks like one of Delia Deetz's sculptures from Beetlejuice or something. The little three legged thing with the antenna in that movie looks kind of like an anxiety bug and the big claw/tree thing looks like a wave of depression or something.

I think I might do this. At least for myself. I'll make something for the soul purpose of completely and utterly destroying it to try to help alleviate my anxiety/depression.

Damn...rewriting is hard.

I've added 4 more pages and 2 more sub-chapters to the first chapter of my first novel so far, and I'm damned proud of that, but it's so hard to look at what you wrote and think to yourself, "This isn't good enough".

I mean, this novel is my baby. I spent 7 years on this novel, the first 3 years were mostly rewrites and the last 4 were mostly researching mythologies of underworlds because the second half of the book takes place mostly in Hell.

But yeah, 7 years I spent on this, and now I have to look at it and say that it isn't good enough.

This is tough, guys.