i gotta start determining a few things in my real life

there are several questions i need answered that only i can sort. but i will journal them for the amusement of ya'll

A should i go to a anthro show this year?

my answer if possible yes. I would like to promote the comic if at all possible.

B which show? anthrocon, or FWA?
my answer FWA its likely to cost less and so eventhou its nearer in time i am more likely to be able to go.
in addition i can meet Badwolf there to discuss my website project. and there are possibly some other people that will be their i have met in SL...

C there is very low odds that my home life will go with this with out a fight. now how do i handle this?

my answer.... i have no idea...... *sad......

big change in my life....

there are three people in my real life that have the power of opinon on me (that is what they think, matters to me)

and each of them to some extent or the other have now accepted my furryness.

it has taken me months and a concentrated effort to put thru. and theres good odds they each had thier ideas of what i was leading too.

but i no longer fear being found out. i am secure that my loved ones will not turn away from me because of this.
and that is very relieving...

i have recently used this journal to post updates on my work in SL and for that i appologize a little.

but this was important to me, and i would share with those here that would care hear!

talked to readels gottfried last night and i will soon be DJing at furvana!

the set restrictions were supprising, but only because i did not think it thru .... (of course a big tech dance club is not gonna want ambiant gothic music!)

that being said i have enough of the correct style to get thru a couple of sets while i build the collection and database to include more of the accepted styles. for their!

so ya sunday evening looks amazing there are soo many good DJs there from the afternoon untill my show late at night!

i can only hope i can follow the guy thats just before me and not kill the place!!!

anyway if your in SL and like good music and good furs come on buy and hang out a bit!

peace ya'll

pinkfloyd at wolfhaven tavern tonight! 2 hours of the best pinkfloyd tracks from a expansive collction.
come check it out!!!


also wettails sailclub training event happening soon.

ill be sending out event notices inworld as soon as details are known.

ill be playing at wolfhaven tavern on Friday!

come hang out with some of the best peoples i have met in SL listen to some music and soak up a atmosphere of relaxing and jokes (some good some bad)

the music style will be a mix of groove classic rock and my collection of ambient sounds maybe if people wanted i may even do something special.... but i will ask those that show up if they want that!

in other news i have a new years party I'm about to head off to and will be here abouts again Friday as i have to go paint murals tomorrow :P

Peace to ya'll and be carefull!

the comic work is moving but slowly i have some non art commissions i am supposed to be working on and i have been getting dj work when ever possible in SL

in addition work lately has actually been like working.
never really expected that :roll:

i will be applying for a new shiny job that should offer me a very creative atmosphere good pay lots of hours and some sense of satisfaction. the down is i will certainly not be able to draw or write at work anymore ever....

meh the up is worth the down.

well i will be working on the comic as time allows
as well as doing at least one or two portraites for freinds in SL .

oh ya one other thing that i have been working on that may be intresting on this sight is the miniatures for a wolfen army from the game confrontation
ill post some pics soon...

anyway peace ya'll

well Ive been playing at wolfhaven tavern now two nights in a row and am starting to get a collection of regulars. :)

chillin music and good chat. wolfhaven is one of the very few places in SL where that's offered especially in a fur-centric pub!

I'm planing other sorts of set list for wolfhaven I'm definitely doing a sea-songs night soon featuring renaissance fair music from bands like flying fish sailors flogging molly and clannad as well as (if i can get the files) the ravens of Dallas fame. heh maybe ill go look up that "Pirate hip-hop band"

well anyway if ya have a SL account and love mellow musics give me a look up..

Deniper Netizen

resident of wolfmont, DJ at angels, and wolfhaven tavern, dancer at Jailbirds

weirdo extroidanaire

my life is complicated some of ya'll know about it most don't but last night i was asked to get something out of the car....

it was a new compy with a nice monitor!!

so im back online and should be runnining sets again soon!

belive me when i say the party i had last night with various freinds was BRILLANT! thanks in particular to Teiko for grokking what had occured and sending that TP soo fast!

that was the best!

well anyway my new pen showes up on the 23rd according to UPS and ill be drawing again...

i tryed doing some non digital-art comic art and after getting used to what i do on photoshop with the pen i cant bring myself to post that....

ill be around!
Peace!

important lessions come in many forms, my favorite way to learn something is to be told it is so by somebody that knows and i trust...
(ya im one of those freaks that trys to learn from others mistakes....)

well one little detail that nobody warned be about and im now shareing with all of ya'll that bother to read this.

DO NOT DROP YOU PEN FROM YOUR BAMBOO TABLET!!

as it turns out theres a little ferrite tube in there wrapped with a copper wire and this tube is brittle and will break if the pen is dropped just so... after which it no longer works.

30$ to replace the pen. plus shipping.... gah

so ive taken mine apart (dont twist.) and am attempting a repair.

if the glue dont work im putting the coil from the eraser end onto the drawing end... i never used the bloody eraser anyway....

anyway there was arts i woulda had done today... but now maybe tomorrow. or after i get my shiny new pen from wacom. well see....

but im not sure why...

tired

but sleep eludes me...

stoked

but theres no good...

productive

yet there still nothing done....

focused

on the myriad things i wish to accomplish

knowing better

yet i do it anyway.

used

but nobody cared....

fractured

but i don't know how....

the above is a test of the "Deni nonexistant poetical system" this was only a test, in the event of a actuall "Deni poetiecal moment" you will be notifiyed as to what to do to protect yourselfs. please remain calm
the Deni poetical moment will pass shortly...
this was only a test!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP!!!

my world is changeing again... seems weird to say but every 7 months or so my perceptions.... change.

and thats coming about again. its sorta like i get a new world view play with that for a while, and then things shift. there are only a few people that have been with me long enough to see this happen more than a handfull of times and infact some people never notice but i do...

need to start sketching more again that feels good to do.

got to finish the flight models for my comic

want the compy fixed.

should get part 5 of my story written and begin to correlate the 5 parts into a single entity right now they are slightly disjointed.

need to get out and do more.

really should spend more time with the lionesses they seem to miss me.

peace ya'll

its fukkencold!

and i have to drive home with half* the city not knowing what the fuck or how to handle their cars.. on ice...good fun

all i can do is hope to get home before the iceing starts in ernest!

and of course theres coming to work tomorrow...

gah! i love ya'll and if im not around its cause im a smoking crater or hospital somewhere...

Peace and stay warm!

*footnote; im exaggerating.... in fact 80% of the other people on the roads in Houston right now have never driven in icy conditions. yay fun!

my main compy just blew up for no appernt reason.

im on a machine right now that is about 5 years old (maybe more) typing this

i cant get it to run SL or the SLim programs the video card is too old
and i cant let anybody there know what happend directly

maybe some of my inworld friends will help me out and let badwolf barbosa know my machine craped tonight around 1:30 my time. and thats why i left every thing all fucked up at wolfmont. i was djin when it poped.

dont think it was a SL thing that caused this but my roomate dana is prolly gonna blame SL....

i have a feeling from the way the compys acting that its ded. no start not nuttin all i can really hope for is the data on the hardrive is intact.
or at least most of it.

*sigh....

Well... did my first set last night at the Wolfmont Tavern

bloody awsome. loved it

my copy of SAM and i had a fight and it refuses to reconize about 3/4 of my musics. badwolf says its prolly a variable bitrate MP3 thing. all i really know is i spent a lot of time trying to make things fit together like dodecahedron post into pentagonal holes. (it fits but it ain't right)

overall thou i only had 3 or so tottally incongruant changes and one of them was absolutely on pourpuse and one other was a acceptted sorta thing.

i really want to thank Aescula, Ushao, BadWolf, Cattaine ect... for helping in the various ways they did to get me started, from direct advice and effort to encoragement to giveing me a oppurtunity.

i am looking forward to improveing my set list (like getting the rest of it availiable) and technique, i suspect i will be learning for quite a while before i consider myself very much good!

anyway to hear me spin its badwolf tavern mondays and fridays 9-11 PM or so ^,^ SL time.

see ya there!

i am now officially a dj at Wolfmont tavern! Right across the bridge from Furvana!

we are doing mellow there no tech or heavy dance stuff no rav. that's covered so amply in the furscene in SL already

my play list includes
Dead can Dance, Cocteau Twins, Tori Amos, a little Blue October, some Lorena Mckinnet, Japanese shakuhachi music from Kosumo as well as Taiko drums from Kodo, other bands I will bring to the table are
Jethro Tull, ELO, and E-Muzeki for those times when we want something different, honestly there is quite a lot more availiable to me i just can't remember all of it.

i have plenty of musics to choose from however i am not currently equipped to go locate a request while doing a show (will eat my bandwidth too much)

so bring your ears, we are gonna solve the world's problems Mondays and Fridays 9-11 SL time!

gah single click double click .... cant tell tha diffrnence sometimes....


whats worse is it took me 6 hours to notice. *blush

so a dear friend of mine is getting married in sl on Tuesday.

I am very happy for her. i invited her and her bow over to my new place in wolfmont. to hang out a touch and i really wanted to know the guy Aescula would like enough to marry (she has very discerning taste.)

well we are sitting in my little Japanese style house at a Japanese style table and i have not been able to setup the house music yet. but it was quiet with only the sound of water and sl's clack of typing ...
very relaxing.
i found myself falling into the habits learned in tea of politeness and graciousness. it was a comfortable feeling for me a little disconcerting for kiba. me thinks. anyway everybody was brilliant. and i had a good time sharing stories with kiba and his friend
also chrionshands showed up randomly and stopped by to say hi.

after they all left i set about the business of trying to load my new sails on to my tako when lycana showed up
we had a chance finally to talk for a couple of hours. shes srsly been over run by life. im glad to be around to chat with her.

neither of us can quite seem to place it but we feel right to each other.

anyway just sharing ....

every now and again i talk about tea.
and the words "tea aesthetic" come up

what is the tea aesthetic?

well there are several different ones and the nomenclature of art are always difficult especially when you are translating from a poetic culture
however the most commonly accepted zen oriented tea aesthetic can be termed wabi sabi.

wabi sabi is the aesthetic of the old or tarnished
have you ever looked at unpolished silver and thought "that's beautiful"?

wabisabi is recognition that all things break the understanding that from chaos comes life and all things are returning to chaos

wabisabi is natural materials crafted by hand into a pourpouse, a lonly hut on the beach battered by wind and sea could be wabisabi

wabisabi is not necessarily dirty thou a object can be imperfect and cracked aged for decades by handling and use and still be clean.

wabisabi is one of the oldest occurrences i have found of "anti art" the appreciation of the disjointed or imperfect.
other occurances of this "anti art" movement that i can name would be Dada, surrealism (which was a extension of dada)
the abstract artist of the 60s and 70 could be called anti artist(Worhol, Pollock, Johns, Rothko, Raushamberg, ect....
as could the popular anti fashion movement of grunge.

the tea aesthetic of Sen no Riku grew from a repulsion from the reach of Japanese art of the time towards perfection and greater and greater levels of grandeur, the Shogun Hideyoshi had a golden tea room with golden bowls and implements created, the differences between Riku and Hideyoshi on art is believed to be what caused Hideyoshi to order Riku's suicide

anyway thats about it for now on the lesson of art and tea if ya botherd to read all of this let me know id like your input!

holidays still suck...

but i got all inspired and brave and asked psychotic_feline
if she would allow me to use her fursona Furrell as a character in my comic.

she found this to be a fine idea. ^=^

so yay one of the difficult slots for me to design for is filled!

was going to go sailing yesterday, but between one friend being slow to show up and anougther being unclear as to his plans, I blew off the boat and sorta regret that coulda used the sea time. it's good for me outlook.
i had planned on getting my flight model mustangs finished yesterday, but between all the distractions i never even had a chance to touch them. gah!

well tommorrow is a day off we will see what happens then

There is a good chance i will be djing at furvana soon :) & the very cool owner of furry outpost figures i need to hang about a bit more for the next couple of weeks and gett to know the crowd and be seen so they can figure what i am about.
i get that.

kk off to huntup a sammich!

peace!

I've been here before.
I will be here again.


It is a bad habit of mine to look up from my dreams, hopes, wishes, fantasys, projects, and lessions. and realize all over again the self doubting, self loathing, self serving monster i am capbable of being.

and every time it dowses my fire.

the food is ash, the life is lost, joy is beyond me.

my ladys just know i am depressed,

I am better now than I was years ago. these feelings would overwelm me for weeks months in the past. i know it will only last a few days at most this time. maybe even only a few hours.

i know its my desicion to let these feelings hurt me.
i know its my weaknees that allows this.

sometimes its cleansing to just let it happen for a while.

regardless there is always tea, and art.

well as ya'll can see i did a couple of fursona peices for people i know in SL,

whereas they are in my opinion not bad at all, i reconize they could be executed better.

that being said thats why i am working on this comic, to force myself to draw more (much more) and learn line work better as well as poseing layout ect....I really want to develop my own style. and improve myself.

the holidays really get me down.

the following paragraphs are detailed meanderings about the production of my webcomic. dont say i did not warn ya...

if there are any ideas floating out there for a name for a WW2 webcomic focusing on the airwar over europe in 43-44 please share. I have never been good at naming things.

dispite its currently nameless state there are still things happening with it i about have the tactical markings sorted on the flight model mustangs im still hopeing for the pinups to happen so as to get the decals for those cut. for example I need the pinup for hunney bunneh in 3-4 scales and ill prolly have two sets of those made. (redundancy is the mother of getting it done) im still trying to sort out a sorta historical looking paintjob for the FW 190s and desire to find more 190s in 1/144 scale on the cheap. also looking for B17s in smaller scales and i may have to buy one in HUGE scale (1/48) for closeups. but it should be a F model not the common (and cheap) G version.... *sigh

of course the period i am writeing in the Gs where replaceing the Fs..... well anyway that buisness can wait.

i woke up this morning and realized that i need to do backgrounds for my comic.....

also sprites for certain reaccuring objects in the backgrounds.

and that the comic has to be in color.

for A its just as hard to do grey scales as color
for B it looks better
for C I'm spending a LOT of time getting the models right and they are in color.
for D all the photos will be in color to begin with....

so ya. color it is

so i will be spending the next week or so creating a color pallet for the characters as well as a sequence and actions set for setting certain textures quicker.

all this means is the look of things will change a lot....
*sigh again.....

last revision before i go into production thou. any other changes will simply happen during the comic's run.

character development for flying fox is progressing smoothly there have been some changes for the characters already seen in the promos...

Deni Hamelton Fox is a Capt. and wing leader of the 187th TFG 5 squadron

he is pretty laidback and tends to maintain tactical control of the situation.... in combat.
on the ground hes a touch auqward and prone to miss subtle clues. he has had several romances over the years and is currently courting a lovely nurse from the states.
he tends to play the cool silent type but sometimes is prone to rambleing and tirades. beer would have nothing to do with that...

"someday we will all go home and start resturants"

Allen Davidson Tiger. is a LT and is Deni's wingman together they have many "shared kills" Deni and Allen met for the first time in China flying for the AVG. AKA, "The flying Tigers" where "Fireball" had allready earned a reputation for temper and chargeing in at odd moments. as he's always made it back, it would seem he has very good timing for his pounce!

when Deni and Allen met they did not get on very well at all.
Allen has been promoted several times but his tendancy to date locals, and fight in bars, has keep getting him demoted too.

"long as i can fly and fight it's alright!"

the relationship of tea and the concepts of the american tea practice. a manifesto.

after having practiced the uransenki way of tea for a year and realizeing for artifical reasons my path of teaching tea is blocked. (a simple matter of economics. travel to japan is expensive.)

i stood away from tea for a year or so. and thought.

As japan took the brewing of tea into its own house and created a art. we here can take the art of tea into our house and create a American art.

the art should maintain the integrety of the Japanese chanoyu but be still a local and obtainable thing.

so the implements should be locally made, japanese items will be used but only on thier own merits not cherished because of thier "japaneseness"

the ritual of clensing is essensal to the meditaive qualitys of tea. and so should be maintained

the settings will be adjusted to american sensabilitys and physical flexability (no need for sitting japanese style that is) how ever the body mechanics for the production of tea is a important consideration.

poetry can be read insisece burned or paintings observed during the tea. or if it is prudent the tea and company simply injoyed in silence

unlike the chanoyu the host should have a bowl of tea as well. it is a gracious thing to serve your guest first and not partake in your offering however in the US the sharing of a experiance is Very important.

one bowl/pot of tea shall be made a method to present each guest with their own will be devised. the choices of bowl cup for each guest will by its very nature show the hosts regard for each guest.

hot chocolate maybe prepared in the maner of thick tea (or thin) for the tea sweet.

other candys chocolates surger candys ect will be experimented with and found to go well with tea.

teas served will include cha, oolong, black sweet (Texas Tea), american Green tea as well as Matcha and Thick tea.
each with its own methods.

soothing music chosen by the first guest is proscribed japanese tea is served in silence american does not have to be (it will help us clear our minds if the music is well choosen) any thing that is loud or demanding of ones attention should be avoided.

whereas the consept of first guest shall be maintained the importance placed on the order of guest will be diminished.

the point of course is to share with friends a special time
there are no rules that bind only guidelines that point.

in the Urasenki method of teaching one performes a act hundreds of times before they come to understand why.

and it is hard to explane but it is a superior method.
however for guest to understand the methods they must be transparent.

let me know what you think.
it is my ernest desire to spread American tea practice far and wide.

the webcomic is coming along smoothly if somewhat time comsumeing
ill get faster i hope.

the first panel is up and it looks pretty good

i had to buy a wacom tab to continue this project. but gwad the thing is nice!

anyway kiddos im gonna get the first story arc out then try to get this thing posted on the internets somewheres.
as well as right here on furaffinity... ^.~