After a very long wait, I'm opening comms again! yay!
I'll be accepting 3 portrait commissions. If you want one, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/os57SrgWD6RfnUzC9

slots are full! thanks everyone

I've added a bunch of new folders to my gallery to showcase recurring characters/concepts. take a look if you like!

Oh yeah, while I'm doing commission things, I should mention that I've been using trello to keep track of progress! I think I can safely say I've integrated it into my workflow, so if you're curious about the status of your commission, check it out here https://trello.com/b/KFUfBrZU

I forgot to mention here, but I recently opened a telegram channel that I also upload all my art to, for anyone who has trouble keeping up with site notifications or just would like an alternative place to follow me

just as a warning though, it includes all of my art, including the kinkier stuff, and I wouldn't recommend joining if you only follow me for my sfw art or are under 18

if that still sounds interesting though, feel free to follow at https://t.me/joinchat/XH2G9tiUG4gwYjkz

I wanted to get some thoughts down regarding what's going on with me and my work.

A lot of you who follow me for my art have probably noticed that it's slowed to a trickle, with most of what I post being quick sketches rather than full, finished pieces. I looked back over the past couple months and it's rare for me to have more than one drawing per week, which is absolutely abysmal compared to my output in the past.

I've talked about this a lot before though, so just to summarize, I've been dealing with burnout for a while, and with the additional stress and depression of losing several family members, I find it harder and harder to even find joy in the process itself. It's gotten to the point where I pick up the pen, scribble on my canvas for a while just to get my arm warmed up, and get frustrated that I don't have any fun ideas anymore.

I blamed my commission practices for the trouble before, and I don't think that's wrong, but I also think it's just that I've forced myself for too long. Combined with depression making me used to not enjoying things, and I've just pushed myself much harder than is healthy. I need to find a sustainable pace again, and I need to find my creative voice again. And most importantly, I really need to enjoy things again.

For now, because I have a cushion of money from the stimulus payment, my commissions are on hold, and I only plan to draw when I have an idea that makes me excited. If I happen to complete any of my commissions in the meantime, it's either because there's a hard time limit, or because I felt inspired about it that day. I wish I could just save it all, not have to worry if I don't get much work done on a particular month, but I don't think that's possible without hurting myself even more. With any luck, I'll have healed a good amount by the time my money is dwindling and I'll still have a little left over for comfort.

Thank you to all of you who continue to support me, and who enjoy my art. I genuinely don't know where I'd be today without you, and I hope you'll continue to support me as I recover.

I decided that, because a lot of users here aren't very good about marking certain content as mature, I don't really want that around on my page for everyone to see! So my favorites are hidden now. I like giving other artists that extra bit of exposure, but it's gotten to be enough of a problem that a majority of the kink art I might favorite was still publicly visible to anyone without an account.

I'd like to remind anyone that draws stuff like that, that whether or not something is strictly sexual, it's still polite to people who browse the site in sfw mode to tag your kink art as mature.

I dunno if you guys know, but in addition to art streams, I also do game streams! And this time around I decided to do a highlights video of the last one I did. I might start doing it more too, so be sure to subscribe if you liked it and wanna see more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaA4yO0cTFY

Copied from tumblr for your convenience:

Hey y'all, personal post time.

Recently I've been through A Lot. You probably know this if you follow me on Twitter or Mastodon, but I've had to deal with the loss of several family members in fairly quick succession. This has contributed to my depression being pretty bad recently, which chains into not getting any work done, which is in itself a pretty dangerous spiral. It's not that I've come to dread drawing, but I've come to dread the process of drawing for other people. Which sucks, because that's kinda my job. And when I think of doing something for myself, it loops back into time that I could've been spending being productive and earning money… You know how that goes, probably.

So, long story short, I've been feeling burnout pretty bad! I haven't been able to open commissions for several months, and it's been kind of terrifying as my money dwindles. Working through what's in my queue has boosted it a little bit, but as of now I don't have a single cent in the bank after rent. Once my patreon money comes in I'll be safe for a little, but that's really scary. And due to that, despite my sluggish output, it hasn't really been a break, and I haven't been able to really recover. If anything, I've just been feeling worse.

So after I finished crying during a meltdown a bit ago, I really thought about what's been tough about it for me. And when it comes down to it, I really think the biggest thing that kills my motivation is revisions. I hate them with a passion. I'm constantly going back and forth with commissioners over minor details that just need to be tweaked a little bit, but I can never quite get them right. It's gotten me so scared of coming back to stuff that I've put down, even if I haven't been told there's something wrong. Pairing that with clients who just can't get back to me until hours later, and I'm stuck wasting time only to be told I have to go back and do something over, and I end up putting it off until later still because I just don't want to deal with it.

So! Going forward, I'm probably going to charge extra for revisions, no matter how minor. I'm still trying to come up with how I want to handle it, because I still want to be fair to people whose characters I butcher in some way, but I just can't do it for free anymore. I'm tempted to stop doing it altogether, but I know I'm far from perfect, and that'd just cost me a lot of good will.

I don't think for a second that this is going to cure my burnout. But I'm hoping it'll help solve an efficiency problem I've been having, and that it'll help me worry a little less about money in turn.

I've mentioned before that I'm way more active on twitter! but if you know twitter, you know that the posts are really dang small, so if I have more to say, it's really hard! I either need to pare it down a lot, or make a big hard-to-read twitter thread. I could use my journals on art websites, but I feel like they're not particularly well suited to the sort of writing I like to do

so! I've cleaned up my tumblr, and now my big long journals go there. I've already talked about a few things that have been rattling around in my head, and I think you should go give it a read if you can. if you have a tumblr account you can follow me that way, or you can subscribe to the rss feed via your rss reader (people use those still, right? just me?) https://derfisch.tumblr.com

anything I need to say related to this site will probably be posted here still! I just like having a nice full-featured text editor, and a proper blog format to post my more general ramblings

when you put your info into the little box for your profile, you just need to put your username, not the whole url! it autofills the rest of the url for you

for example, if you type in https://twitter.com/derfisch, it's gonna direct you to https://twitter.com/https://twitter.com/derfisch

that's all, thank you

Streaming video from Cloudflare's basic service is a violation of the Terms of Service. If you are the webmaster, please file a support ticket to learn more.

if you're not the doomscrolling type, there's an attempted fascist coup going on today at the US capitol today. police are, for the most part, complicit. They let them in, and are doing the bare minimum to drive them away

if you can't see this as the terrorism it is, genuinely, fuck off. you're not wanted here. I don't want you looking at my art, I don't want you breathing the same air as me.

I decided to revive my tumblr for long posts that are hard to fit neatly on twitter/mastodon and don't really make sense as an FA journal. usually they'll be fun (or less fun) thinky essays that pop in my head from time to time

my first post is a life update, if you want a refresher on the Fisch Canon https://derfisch.tumblr.com/post/63.....so-life-update
I guess that'd make sense as an FA journal too, but then I couldn't do those fun inline images! how tragic would that be yknow

I made my first patron poll on patreon today! I'm letting all patrons decide what I should draw next stream, and I plan to do this for all future Sunday streams

It costs just a dollar a month to get in on it! https://patreon.com/derFisch

I made a big ol twitter thread and I'm just gonna paste it here

I wanna talk about jobs! and employment, and whatever, and it's half whining and half appreciation.

as some of you know, the last year I lived in california, I had a job doing file clerk stuff for a medical office. my job was: maintaining patient charts (putting them back in the right order after doctors were finished with them, making sure they were readable and in order, etc), moving old ones in and out of storage, etc. basically, extremely unfulfilling grunt work

what sucked about it the most is just that, no matter how little or how much work I had that day, I'd always come home mentally exhausted, sometimes physically. I don't have a lot of spoons on a good day, and that job took like 3x my supply. I settled on 2 days a week pretty early, and tbh, that's all I could've possibly managed. I was bothered to come in more often, but I don't think I would've survived the rest of the year

I won't get into the details but my main point is, I never felt appreciated at that job. I felt like any troubles I had weren't worth talking about to anyone, and the work I did well was never enough. from the sound of things, that tends to just be how it is in the working world

I was reminiscing on all this earlier, and it got me thinking about how much better things are as an artist. I remember a few months ago, when I was developing carpal tunnel symptoms, and when I told you all that I was taking a break to recuperate, all I got was positivity. I call myself self-employed, and I am, but really, all of you guys are my boss. You let me know when I've done a good job, you commission me and give me direction on the artwork I'm doing for you. I can't imagine having a relationship like that with any boss in a normal job

truth be told, I'm anxious about my income. I've been doing better on making more money, but it's a bit of a struggle still, and I worry very much about paying my fair share of rent with my housemates. and I know that any traditional job I take will set me back years, both in my art, and in my mental health. I'm just not cut out for traditional employment, and the more I look at job listings, the more I realize it's just a horrible idea. I often feel helpless because of this

but making art for all of you makes me feel fulfilled, and in a way, the price of not having to deal with a shitty job is worth every penny I'm missing out on to me

also I hate to cap it off like this, but if you want me to worry less, even just a small contribution to my patreon every month would really help me out. You'll be helping make sure I can afford to make cool things for you and everyone else in the future

https://patreon.com/derFisch

I still have slots available! there's 1 icon, 3 sketches, and both portraits left

https://forms.gle/mrPfu3y7z2JwiAgo7

I'm opening commission slots for the month of december! Here's what's available:

2 full portraits ($80)
4 sketches ($20)
4 icons ($20)

If you wanna get a seasonal themed comm from me, now's the time to do it!

here's the form: https://forms.gle/mrPfu3y7z2JwiAgo7

we're running up close to our data limit this month, so no streams for the rest of the month! I'm really sorry

I'm opening commission slots for the month of november! Here's what's avalable right now:

Full Portrait - 1 slot [$70]
Sketch - 8 slots [$15]
Icon - 2 slots [$15]

If you'd like a slot, please fill out this form:
https://forms.gle/kQWQ4pEV6JA7J8MTA

this sunday, I'd like to do some timed comms on stream! $3 for 5 minutes. I'll be accepting payments via ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/derfisch

if you wanna reserve a spot, send the appropriate amount + what you want me to draw! I won't be able to draw stuff w/o a prompt. sfw only

Voting season is upon us and we really need to kick the cheeto man out. Go out and vote biden if your vote isn't being suppressed (and you live here, ofc)! or if it is, make sure your friends who are able do go out to vote

If you've been avoiding politics so far and don't understand why I'm being so gung-ho here, congrats on having the privilege to ignore the past four years! trump has made the united states a living hell for all of us, and I do mean all of us! every single one. a vote for him is a vote for facism, for poverty, for disease, and for ignorance. a vote for biden is also very bleak but at least he isn't actively courting facists, yknow

if you were thinking of voting for trump, and feel upset that I'm saying these things, I recommend you do your research on how he's been handling the covid epidemic, his racist views, etc. They're all horrible and extremely transparent. If you genuinely support him, it's honestly best if you just unwatch, because I have no interest in dealing with you. As a gay, biracial, and ???gender person, trump's people want me dead, and anyone complicit in that is not welcome here.

anyway! that's all from me, sorry for the downer. good luck at the polls!

mi studis lastatempte esperanton, kaj mi bezonas multe praktiki. mi skribos ĵurnalon en ĝi

mi ĵus parolas mia samĉambrano pri ĝi kaj li diris "kial vi ŝanĝis de franca al falsa lingvo?" kial mi ne povas fari ĝin por amuzo? ĉu aliaj homoj ne ĝuas lerni? 🤔
franca ĉiuokaze suĉas lol

By the way, no art stream today! I'm very sorry. Someone else is gonna be occupying my room tomorrow and I need to help set it up today

I'll be accepting 4 sketch commission slots! Base price for sketches is $15. planned to post tomorrow but doing it a day early for FA folks to see. If you want a slot, please fill out this form:

https://forms.gle/Lmo3JR8KXe1GEYTs9

all full!

Art stream! gonna be drawing a sketch comm and an icon comm. plus some bonus if I'm done before 7!

🎙 mic on
🎧 tunes

https://picarto.tv/derFisch