A lot's happened.

I inexplicably got kicked out of beauty school for reasons I genuinely am not privy to. They were unprofessional, they did it with zero warning, and only informed me that I was no longer a student when it was far, far too late. They gave me no options for re-enrolling. They took my money, they gave me the most unstructured and upsettingly bare education I've ever seen, and then kicked me to the curb literally just before I graduated. They acted like I was the problem, when in fact they did not indicate any such issue prior, and in fact I was excelling in school. I didn't have any antagonistic relationship with my instructors, or the staff, or anything like that - some I didn't get along with, but I still took the lessons on the occasions where they actually gave them to us. There was no rhyme or reason I could find for my expulsion. Nothing.

And I'm not afraid to name them. Stacey James Institute in Colorado. Run by two shady mormons and constantly replacing teachers with a turnover rate so high that any teacher you see will never last longer than one year, all while said teachers are verbally abused just about as much as the students.

This has, unfortunately, basically taken a torpedo to my life. The plan was to get my cosmetology license, and apply to one of the many, many hair dressers within walking distance of my apartment. Then I wouldn't have to have my partner be the sole breadwinner. But that's...not in the cards, obviously. Not anymore. I'm tired, man.

I keep trying to apply to other jobs. Whatever job I can find. Any job. Anywhere. Nothing. I've been strung along by a few pet grooming places that allow me to use the knowledge I gained. I've been chasing ghost jobs on ziprecruiter. I've been going in-person to whatever location I can find that's got job openings and offering resumes with as much effort and polish put into them as I physically can, but I haven't gotten anywhere.

My partner's suffering. Rent is getting harder to maintain. I need a job and I'm running out of options. I refuse to go back to my parents' house - I just escaped from a place that left me so depressed I barely ever left my bedroom, I don't want to go back.

This whole mess is why I've been absent for months. Why my posting ground to a screeching halt. Why my most recent submissions have been old sketchbook drawings gathering dust or abstract pieces to express how I'm feeling.

I'm doing everything I can here, but if you guys could maybe ask for some art commissions or buy an adoptable, that would be pretty great. The job hunt continues. I'll update if I actually manage to land a job. Until then, the exhaustion from job hunting as a whole is killing me.

I struggle to ask for help. I struggle even more with the "social" part of social media. I'm scared to go outside sometimes. I usually keep to myself with my personal life, and I am too stubborn to outright ask for donations because I don't like the idea of just taking money from people without some kind of fair transaction. I only ask that if you guys DO have disposable income, maybe consider asking me for a commission or inquiring about an adoptable. And key word here is disposable, mind you - I would hate if my own financial troubles simply got pushed off onto someone else.


I don't know how to end this post, so I guess like...bye? Hopefully see you soon? I don't know, it's 4AM and I'm miserable, I'm going back to bed.

Sorry I've been gone without a word - I recently moved into my first apartment with my partner and things have been going pretty well, all considered. I've been adapting pretty well and nobody is starving (so far). I haven't had time to post art or anything in between moving my stuff, going to beauty school, unpack everything, etc...but I'm doing well otherwise, haha.

Expect a big dump of art soon - just because I haven't posted doesn't mean I haven't stopped drawing!

https://youtu.be/jqrSAWAaC9s?si=ZjiRYDhJf97dXveo

I'm not usually political around here. I don't even fully agree with some of the statements made in this video, particularly involving veganism, which felt unnecessary at best and biased at worst. But to those who would be negatively impacted given the current political climate, this video has value. Most of that value is at the start. Study the policies and laws in your state. There may be more of a safety net for you than you know. There is also a chance you may find safety in specific parts of the state you live in, even if it's a state that shows up red on a map. Dallas, Texas has a reputation for being very queer-friendly, as an example. Knowledge is power, get yourself some knowledge.

The gist of the video is that getting involved with community stuff can help. And I don't mean "let's all work at a soup kitchen", I mean find a group you vibe with and go hang out with them, and be open to new folks seeking refuge in your pack. It can be a soup kitchen, it can be a gardening club, a D&D group that supports its players and isn't run by an asshole, it can even be a club that does BDSM on the weekends and watches horror movies at Dave's house once a month. As long as it's not closing itself off to new members and everyone is willing to contribute in some form, even if it's something as small as cleaning up something someone else spilled or offering to do a chore or lending your friend a $5 bill to buy a beer to take the edge off, that is enough to do some good.

Fascism lives in the mundane. It starts growing in the spaces where justice and community are absent. Don't let it grow. By having a community you stand together with, you WILL make an impact, even if you don't know it. You will make a snowball effect. We need to change the way people think, and it starts with you. It starts with me. It starts with everyone. This is the kind of societal upheaval that leads to people being more mindful and considerate, the kind of tragedy that makes people look back and say "we should have known better", but that better future only comes if we use our heads and stick together.

We've been conditioned to think a single person can't do anything, and that only a majority can make a change. That's bullshit. Every single person in a majority is just that - a single person. We need to foster bonds and form tribes, because that's what we've been literally born to do. We evolved to survive together, not alone. We evolved to help each other out, to lend our talents to the group so we can all make it, rather than just some of us. Selfishness feels bad because we literally were programmed for this through millions of years of evolution. We are not a species that banded together out of hate, we did it out of love. We have seen fossil evidence of ancient humans caring for their injured and disabled, ensuring they live far longer than they would have on their own. We care for our own.

And even outsiders aren't exempt from this evolutionary predisposition to pack-bond. We tamed wolves and made them dogs. We barely did anything and cats decided they liked our vibe enough to stick around. We used to be ENEMIES with wolves. Humans and wolves hunted a lot of the same prey, with the same methods, and we STILL managed to befriend them and become stronger together. Even now we are keeping all kinds of weird stuff in our homes like snakes and lizards and birds and spiders and rats, we are STILL taming animals, and they don't even serve a survival purpose anymore. We just like having them around. Human instinct isn't about bloodshed, it's about bonding with another creature and protecting that bond you have made.

Go outside. Go touch grass and socialize. Some of you severely underestimate the benefit of just living your life and inviting others to join. Find a safe space with people who don't justify doing harm to others by wearing a MAGA hat. If that safe space can't be found, do what you can to build one. Build a bond with that community, look out for each other. We're pack animals. Go find a pack.

I hope everyone found this helpful and I invite discussion. Suggestions, questions, comments, concerns, whatever! Go for it! Let's talk. Put the "commune" in "community".

Remember, I still got a bunch of cool looking pokemon adoptables that all could use a home!

Also stuff is calming down again o-o bout time tbh

>.< A lot has been happening, it's one thing after another, and few of them good. But I'm finally getting some time to actually pause and breathe, and thus, art should be showing up a little more often. And don't miss my most recent adoptable batch - there's a special deal going on right now, one where you could snag a free commission for yourself. Check 'em out!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56157001/

I have been busy at beauty school learning to become a hairdresser x_x hopefully I will be able to pick up the slack and resume posting art soon, I keep doodling in sketchbooks in my spare time and some of it could even be considered good :’D

Tomorrow I'm going to post my first adoptable, possibly also a batch of 'em if I finish some more extra art before then. I'm excited! I would love to hear feedback and tips, if anyone has any! I'm hyped ^.^

I'm still pulling together my profile page and everything, but I'm going to start posting adoptables soon. I know I don't have a lot of followers yet, but for those interested, keep an eye out! Starting Monday, I'll be posting some Sleep Paralysis Demons for you guys to take home!

For those unaware (which is probably everyone, let's be real), my fursona is a sleep paralysis demon. And while I don't know if I'd consider them an open or closed species, I think they're a pretty neat choice for a character in general. I like to envision them with quirky little habits, and I like to draw them in a way where they look far more frightening in the dark than in the light.

An example of that concept with a drawing of DJ is coming, but for now, just know that some strange little beasts are going to come up and they're looking for a new bed to hide under. They might torment you, they might play pranks on you, they might chill with you in the late hours of the night, they might watch over you, they might eat chips in your bed and leave crumbs all over your sheets. Who's to say?

I'm still debating on price. I'm thinking 15 USD each. I'm kind of new to this whole thing, so that may change.

What I can definitely tell you is my TOS for adoptables!

By buying an adoptable from me, you’re accepting my adoptable TOS:
-Payment must be sent within 24 hours of claiming the adopt, otherwise it will be open again. If you’re late, a refund will be provided.
-Upon purchase, you can alter, trade and resell your adopt as you please. The moment it’s yours, it’s out of my hands. It's your character now, go nuts!