I'll be posting wips and taking commissions on substar! If you have any extra money, feel free to support ^^

https://subscribestar.adult/di-fl

tl;dr: my 20's were a depressive ego fueled hellscape. Going into my 30's, I need to focus on making money to fund my transition and building my future. This will lead to a change in my art output for the next few years.

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Screaming into the void.

20 to 25 is a blur because I was trappped in the closet. 25 to 27 was spent burnt out and slipping closer to my suicide date. 27 to almost 30 was lost because I spent it all fried out of my gourd while being housing insecure... That really only changed when I finally got on estrogen and started feeling its effects... The biggest problem being that my next doses are going to be paid out of pocket because the government doesn't cover injectable estradiol. I'm staring down the barrel of 30 in February, and living with debts from over a decade of impulsive decision making. Stuck with a marijuana and caffiene dependency that has ruined my teeth. Wrists aching, not from the strain of drawing, but from days and nights spent gaming and "gaming". Back hunched from social anxiety and staring at screens. Struggling to plan for a future I never thought I would make it to see, let alone be living in. But the years really didnt start going fast until I decided to not commit suicide.

Which brings me to my art. Art began as a way to escape life in my teens. It's always been the easiest way of expressing myself, and is the biggest boost to my self worth I've ever had, but I quickly grew to be addicted to the dopamine loop of posting art for exposure online. Watching the viewcount go up, or the favourites and comments roll in was all I needed when I was just a hobbyist posting vent art, but as I got older I wanted this to be more than just a hobby. Unfortunately, my depression and the discouraging voices of important people echoed in my head drove me to inaction and procrastination. By the time I finally was ready to draw full time I was 25, and everything except my colour theory and composition was way behind the rest of my peers. The symptoms of various mental issues would lead me to have to relearn parts of drawing after a period of inactivity. I have hundreds of files of drawings that will never be finished, and thousands of ideas that will never even get there. There are months where I can't finish a drawing, but I always judge myself by the rare months and weeks where I finish 12 or more. Somehow I thought that not having a second job would help bring in more commissions.

So this is where I stand. With my happiness and body being held behind money (something I've always had troubles maintaining) and being too depressed/dissociative in my current state to be able to make it. I know I need to make more money somehow so I can fund my transition, but whenever I think of careers though, it's all in the hopes of funding my ability to do art. I judge a career path by how taxing it would be on my wrists, and how much time it would leave me to draw after work. If I could, I would go to university for illustration or animation, which would most likely lead to me being crushed under more debt than I could realistically escape from while struggling to find work in an increasingly competitive and automated field.

I need to focus on my health in all aspects. I'm going to be using 30 and 31 to focus on my real life. I've been spending way too much time online, and now i realize why I don't see a lot of 30+ furries compared to 30- furs. This won't mean a hiatus, and I don't know how I could call this "slowing down" considering my art output is already glacial. I need to learn about who I am when I'm not hunched at a keyboard, when I'm talking to people that aren't just me. And I need to REALLY practice my anatomy and technique.

Alterships will continue. Random horny art will continue. Comms will be for simple flat art, 3 characters max. Uploads will be sporadic and random as usual, but a little less frequent at times. I may be offline for long periods of time.

H., sg, J, M.

[EDIT: 2:00 was an aggressive time, i can't lie. streeam will be delayed to 3:15 because of life stuff]
Gonna be doing the emo day stream I was planning last year. .3.

Stream will begin at 1400 (2pm) EST (GMT-5) at https://pomf.tv/stream/DIFL

SCHEDULE:
note: everything will be on shuffle
First 2 hours: 3rd Wave Emo and Post-Hardcore.
Second 2 hours: Metalcore and Deathcore (some mathcore and trancecore thrown in there)
Third 2 hours: Skramz and Real Screamo (some other 90's underground stuff in there too)
Fourth 2 hours: Midwest Emo and Midwest Emo Revival
Final Stretch (however long I can go after an hour): All of the above on shuffle!

We dont have a lot of 3rd wave emo so like, if you have an artist you want to listen to we might not have, then let us know!

Got covid. First time having it.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52686378/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10585880/

A really great artist could use some help after a catastrophic computer failure. Please consider supporting.

Big titted women
And big titted men

I'll upload a new piece of highly detailed digital art today.

16th birthday day

I had a bunch of plans today but they all got defenesrmtrated by a cold/flu i caught. Waiting on my ar-hone test to see if i have covid, don't think so, but man... i was so excited for today and now i can barely get out of my bed... I'm sorry guys.
-Jakerz

$50 Full Body
$35 Thighs-Up
$20 Headshot/Bust Icon

All prices are on a per-character basis, +$15 for complex characters (example: mecha, sparkledogs, ocs with lots of small details).

Typical timeframe is 5-14 days, receiving a high res .png (1500px minimum on shortest side) full resolution image (in preferred format) and .psd or original .clip file. The final image may or may not appear on our main gallery/galleries depending on the content within.


Slot 1:
Slot 2:

If you think I should keep incest to side accounts or bring them to main, vote here: https://twitter.com/di__fl/status/1.....OlEUGjzVWAYHbg

Yeah, it's completely normal to make your "the list" a feature on your profile.

:userMaikasuke: is a longtime inspiration to us. She was recently rushed to the ER, and there is a fundraiser to help with her surgery costs.

https://gofund.me/c6765756

M'birth

why isn't there more porn about the post-nut?

god we feel... so much different... been binge watching it for the past year and just... wow, man. we've all changed so much as a system because of the lessons we were able to pick up... and just... gwarsh...

that's what it's called when you're sexually attracted to homo sapiens right? because man. i'm coming out of the closet to tell ya, them big bony heads, those beefy round arms, those soft, huggable tummies? Man, do I miss drawings them. Not to mention, I feel like my furry art has stagnated.

that being said, drawn humans still send me through the valley of uncanny.

i love adopts, but i can't keep seeing reminders because they're not meant to be favourited. if you fave an adopt reminder, it's like. weird. and like. if you fave the original, it's still weird because you're not *buying* it, you're just faving it, and I'm guessing that's gotta be a pretty tough thing to go through as an adopt artist, i dunno.

my acoustic guitar which I've been using a lot was knocked over. The neck at the body split. all 3 of my guitars are now way past the point of well worn and are now just flat out damaged...

this has come at a shitty time. i'm feeling really split and fed up about a lot of things. broken guitar, broken heart.

sadboiz2016 sadgorlz2020

I've been in a bad headspace until my 27th birthday (02/16) I opened myself up and I'm growing with my old habits.

I'm ashamed of how much of a sex pest I was. Whether it was overt or not, all my NSFW art was me trying to get ppl to jerk it to us and with us, which was our way to inflate our ego in lieu of self confidence. Hence why I fell into unsavory crowds and tried to appease anybody who wanted their fetish appealed to. Which meant digging and digging into that grey zone. I don't want to get into all of what I've done and tried to get myself involved with. To anybody I've hurt, I'm sorry and know that me saying sorry is kinda worthless in the face of all my nsfw art staying up, but I'm currently debating on what to do vis a vis all that stuff. Ultimately, I'd like a do-over, but I don't want to like. Reset from scratch. Not to mention, I feel like if I remade my account, all of my stuff would come back to bite me. Like, people who don't want to see me already have my accounts blocked. I don't want to accidentally show up in their feeds and dredge up all those old memories.

Right now, I'm keeping everything that isn't immediately problematic or self-destructive up as a testament to how far I've come. I can't just hide who I am like I didn't do these awful things. I can put up a front, but ultimately my art is incredibly personal and revealing of my selves, so people could just read into my art and be like, "Oh. Okay, so you're still dealing with all this weird shit, I'm gonna go over here and stay awway from you ha ha ha" Ultimately, I'm karmically surprised that only one person has called me out (for drawing incest and a doodle of Isabelle holding an "incest rights sign", yeah bad look), because I used to have a lot of friends who were vehemently into calling people out.

NSFW drawings I post aren't going to focus on taboo kinks anymore. Gore, snuff, and horror are exceptions, cuz I find them to be great ways to express my feelings of anxiety. Sexual horror snuff and gore will all be consensual cuz there's enough noncon gore out there already. Pee, feet, musk, not paws, exhibitionism, macro, micro, hyper, drugs, hypno, consenting degradation, all that will still be drawn by me once in a while. Sex is going to probably take a backseat though.

Messy lil fucker

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27441151/

LOOK AT THE SORD GOATTE!~!!

Drinking wine brings no more insurrectionists. Once a char brewerd austria thick with the foil of the second asinine. Chartting the course to the ninth, flames breathe fire where bronihef could never go. Your cole maxed out your credit card. The CRA woomed in so small. The ceiling is falling into the basement. Famed doors illicitely said the rites of irithyl. There goes another one. Where does Inome live, my nana? Rori didn't like you he said. Decked out on double L amiga rigs, he screamed to the ceiling, I SEE YOU! first we let out the infants. Then amon amarth in the second. Flames burned you when you entered. Another one to fall to wolnir. A woomish for serious cases. Am I painting? Ullyses without a second winchester tried. "JOSIAH! THAT'S NOT A THING TO DO!" fruit dried in his throat. Whoever you are, cling to the anenome. Wherever you are, grab your collars, this is a fitting throne. Chart the ninth, flames burn softly now, fantiseptic directories. Oak trees go to the stance of teseracts, in this hiding little town. "That's good?" Steven Mac is detecting my second asinine comment. Charred and burned on the nose, i wasn't one to whirlwind an fall flat upon the earth where the wine burst into the flames so no more could I talk to the fat ghosts. Over in the charred remains of the usv, the thick landing found you. Landed on the flat tarmac. And amid thr spilfst of the oil, josia came to me and told me to give them hell. Ron's burnt and dead. Ance was vaccinated as the woosh came over me and I grabbed an SMG and cradled it as I fell to the barn floor. Family medicin couldn't save the illustration Am I tingling? Why yes. Without you an oversatturated care outsourced into the land and flew back. Again I asked, if I were to spillest the oil, what could I do? Chosen was the thing. For a hoot and a hollar I tried to figut out why i could still use my wit. The oak tree made the rules and without you I felt fantastic. Amid the spilling, and oxidization, creating the fotting the tree fell and into the highest of aids, the rights were now here. Thorns without thirst created aggressions amongst our doughters, and around here that teared us aparth. Shut up and dead, a thirst for agggression and enlightenment was our armor. That was there, but was it good?" Am I tingling, ullysys? The sites are cleared, but was was the purpos of the fall?

https://youtu.be/OoJIMlu62dM

dig it

Playing DS1 at SL7. Covenant is Path of the Dragon, so I get the occasional person wanting to duel. However, I've been getting plenty of newbies thinking I'm a co-op summon.

Gotta get them dragon scales somehow.