I mean really. I can't seem to get a few songs out of my head. Before it was all relatively happy songs, but now I'm hearing slow, probably sad songs I guess? I'm finding it to be increasingly difficult to find a goal, to move forward with life. Now, dont think that I'm going to do something bad, I'm not. I'm just feeling a little out of it, where i feel a need to help others succeed and help them move forward when I feel like I have difficulty moving forward myself. I know what I need to do... but, finding the will to do it, and how to do it, well... that's the hard part. As it is for everyone, right?

This is one of the songs I got stuck in my head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F1l6xXLSI0
I also got another song stuck in my head but it gives away too much of what's going on. As well, as I'm still trying to figure out the meaning behind the lyrics too. I have a few other songs too stuck in my head.

So tell me, what songs do you have stuck in your head?




Also be sure to check out this journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5527149/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/.....n_2965775.html

Basically... Sharks kill 12 people per year - People kill 11,417 sharks per hour. And that statistic is true. It's abysmal as we might end up destroying the oceans in 30 years time. What do you guys think about sharks?

http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearn.....r_people_kill/


Anyway, I'm just trying to find stories that help our future or that we should read to help our future. Also while trying to better myself as a person.

Also to help lighten the mood, I found this http://tags.steamdb.info/

http://world.time.com/2014/02/18/uk.....resh-violence/ Good luck people of Ukraine
http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/c.....resh_violence/

Oh, and all glory to the HELIX FOSSIL! http://kotaku.com/the-miraculous-pr.....mon-1524605696

oh and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sku4Hzk2UzI

---

Anyway I dunno how I'm feeling about myself, I hate being doubtful of myself but I'm trying to push forward. How are all of you doing? Do you want to ask me anything since it's tuesday? I got nothing going on.

I just got a call from my parents saying that they think I should do an additional 2 years worth of college to get my masters. She said it's pretty much to help me get more money every year as I live. But i kept bringing up the notion that that would continue to put me in heavy debt... where i dont just owe the government 70k dollars, but much more than that.

I understand getting a masters is cool and all of that stuff, but shit... I don't know what to do. It would implicate a hell of a lot of things that I am working on, some of which I cannot say. It would be good for me, but I'd be stuck in buttfuck nowhere for the next 2 years... I doubt I would have anywhere to go home to. And a few other things would just be fucked...

So this is my question to people who have managed to get a masters. Is it worth it??? Or is it pointless? I know this is something I have to figure out myself but I don't even know if this would be a good step, I have very serious doubts about it, especially since I'll be in even more debt than before.

Anyway I hope all of you have a good day!

---

As for an update as well, still working on socializing, been pushing forward on that as hard as I can but I'm not making much progress. On the independence part, I'm making even more progress there while still trying to find a new goal for myself. And as for the creative aspect, I still have to start that. We'll see what happens in time.

http://i.imgur.com/iGQujHS.jpg
Mario Kart Box Art

Anyway I'm moving forward with my creative plans, still been struggling on the social aspect of life while also trying to find myself to be more independent. :3 If anything, I realized that the move forward is going to be a long, slow, arduous process, but I know I can do it. The thing is I gotta find something now that motivates me, to at least move forward, so I guess I'm gonna do some soul searching.

Anyway, I've also been trying to go out more but apparently the area keeps getting snowed under, and I got a little ill so I don't want to get anyone else sick when going out into town. So I havent been moving too much forward with my plans to become better because of that, but I'm slowly getting better. And once I do get better, I'm going to move forward as fast as I can, probably beginning with trips into town or watching tutorials on things. Who knows really?

OH and i also plan to post something new in the gallery, but I'm writing a story first for it, I'm just not sure what it should be about but im trying to think of how it will be written too. It's good practice though!

Anyway I hope everyone is doing well. How are all of you?

Oh and I here is a song of the journal, I'm gonna probably start doing this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDagBGdMtQ0

I fouhnd somethign awesomea to listen to annnnd itss absolutely awesomea when ou had a relaxinng night talking with your friends annd other people. The socialzing aspeect has been fuun so far but i still gottta do more o oit. I''m going to be makng something aweesome someteting soon. I caant exactly show it to anyone unti it is done and goes somewhere.

I alsoooooo know that i;m not typoing too well... suapah duper tiiiired

So heres that soong. Makes me happy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flMWEaIJq4k

I'm going to beed... See you tommorowww.

---

Also for shits and giggles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQDvsf5lAp0

So currently life has taken a rather interesting turn. I had a sort of epiphany after listening to a long LONG song from Philip Glass. I'm going to try to become much more independent as a person and show that I can push forward, while also becoming a much better person.

So, what this means is I will probably be disappearing from time to time to actually experience what life is like, learn various skills, socialize with actual real life people which is something that I have difficulty doing the most. I have a lot I need to learn about life, but this is something that I have to do. College is also coming to an end as well and I can't really do as much in life as I would like to while also facing the music of getting as much money as possible before college ends so I can get a damn apartment since I can't stay with my family.

So this is a list of things I'm going to do in the next few months.
- Learn how to cook and even figure out how to do career stuff and taxes ._. Fuck I'm scared of that.
- Learn how to create and write more
- and the big one, learn how to properly socialize with people, but then again there is no right way. But I have to do it, I have to.

Also in other news I'm going to be uploading a picture sometime soon, the problem is I'm having difficulty writing the story for it because it's in a style I'm not used to. But I'll hopefully have it up by tommorow evening. Keep an eye out for it!

Anyway I hope all of you have a wonderful day!

---

Also the song I was listening to, it's one of my favorites next to Passacaglia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qAAPRbRSc0

Just letting you know is all. I can't really say anything else at this time. See you soon.

I really dont have much to say other than happy holidays, i didnt really get anything nor do i care. :3 But i have something to share with all of you!

MAGIC!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc9pDNNGumM

So yeah that was crazy...

A week without furry butts and stuff can lead to some serious withdrawal! That's never good, the only way to cure it is more furry butts!

So since im back and have art to post (which is a lot to post btw) what should i post? Dont worry i have a christmas pic on the way but im wondering what you want to see?

Also how have all of you been? I got nothing better to do than to talk but the Internet will be slow since im home and family wont let me use the proper internet. ._.

He's offering commissions to help get his family some present's for the holidays! Go check it out!

 blackbear

I still got a LOAD of art that I haven't submitted and I think I wanna try to submit something once a week if I can now, especially since I apparently have... ooooooh 300 something arts. Most of them are of my blue character, Manny. A few are some pics of me and my boyfriend, and a few are some pics of that new character you saw Randolf. So what do you want to see?

I got: SFW pics, Mature pics, and a few adult pics (i seriously need to get my characters banged more). I also have a few recent teasing pics, some clothing ones and a few others.

BUT I am NOT posting macro, do not suggest it because I don't have many of those pics left to post and I like to space things out. I got maybe 3 or 4 more macro pics to post and I'd like to treat you all to it at other times, not now.

So again, what do you want to see???

I may be sitting this one alone again though, even though I know I have a beautiful boyfriend who sticks by me no matter what happens. He also uploaded an awesome art too for thanksgiving, you should check it out.

But no matter about me, have a happy thanksgiving everyone.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12159229/

A friend of mine is looking for people to commission him. Go check out his work because he's kinda in a financial mess up right now. His prices are actually pretty good and are well worth it! He's constantly improving his art and he's gonna go to amazing places. Check him out!

super uber tired bluebutt has found a raffle of animation craziness that is awesome and bootiful. anyway check it out. have a good night everyone im so so so tired... sleep well.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5271950/ by the super duper amazing  jasonafex

I wanna know what you guys want to see next? More of the new character? Or perhaps some more blue guy. And please, stop asking me for "what manny was like as a kid" I dont have that, i doubt i ever will, please stop asking that.

So please, tell me what you would like to see! :D

im too tired right now to say much, if anything. but check out these raffles and keep up with the news on surveillance, big things are happening.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5257986/ by  katara

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5261560/by  abrahamsillo

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5253874/ by  drakerogers

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5250670/ by  fatalsyndrome

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12062073/ by  ratchet_Lomu

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12062073/ by  ratchet_lomu

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/mrsenpai

and funny stuff!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_sUtXAl24o

Golden Sun, freaking Golden Sun and the Lost Age (not dark dawn, that was horrible x.x)

The game had fantastic music, fantastic story, very very good elements for an RPG, and even plenty of riddles, i just dont understand how they were able to fill the game with so much content and detail. I mean I can understand a game like Mother 3 (which was absolutely beautiful, i want to play that again too, just been trying to get my hands on the english mod) where the music and story is epic as well as the art is beautiful. But its just... i want to be able to get my hands on them again and play them again, and probably show my boyfriend the game.

Speaking of my boyfriend, he's offering something good later tonight so keep your eyes out for that. But I'm not sure if he'll be able to do it since he's a bit busy right now!

As for the music from the game have a look at the mars lighthouse (wow this game came out in '03): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SqApUTiJKA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qoF3D5s0B4 Garoh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXxr2BBJyOY overworld theme 2.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nLfeANBfjg (just try to think of the sound of running water everywhere with this song, its beautiful)


oh and here's some mother 3 music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyG2k2y40Zo

Anyway how are all of you doing? :3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLACxMXBRhM

well it was a long time coming. ._. But in the meantime I hope each and everyone of you has an awesome day. I need to be heading to bed. Also i hope i didnt piss anyone off with this link. XD

Edit: Annnd i was mistaken, someone editted the clip but hey... it was fun while it lasted. XD

ask me questions, i'd like to at least try to talk a bit... been feeling down but i dont want to talk about that, i just want to move on.
oh and please do not ask me how i came up with a manectric, ive already answered that 15 times already...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12062073/ by  ratchet_lomu

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5224124/ by  fefairy

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5221629/ by  lunalei

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5211533/ by  kaenn

For the real madness begins tonight with two macros stomping about collecting every single one of you up! MWAHAHAHA!

I'm kidding, I really do hope though each and every one of you are having an amazing halloween. I even submitted an article in a paper for halloween, I do wonder if you can find it! Anyway, I must say I get sick and tired of listening to the saaaaame Halloween music all the time, that being ghostbusters, the monster mash, and nightmare before christmas! So here I am going to show you something new and spooky, and an amazing series of songs about the crazy Mad King Thorn of Tyria.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwSlr_WS8mQ


Now I suggest each and every one of you go out and trick or treat! I believe me and my beautiful boyfriend will be having a stomping good time with trick or treating!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11959557/


Have a wonderful day everyone. Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Dialuca01

I'm just wondering what is the next thing you guys wanna see? That last art i submitted was a total failure on my part because it was just so stupid and ugly. I got better stuff than that so what should i do next?

This guys art looks awesome! Go check him out! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5218890/ is  ptah

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5196061/ by  always-the-victor

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5211533/ by  kaenn

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5198266/ by  kaosST

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5184843/ by  okamiterasu Who is also holding a YCH

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5180587/ by  silverclaw1 who is absolutely freaking awesome!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5164721/ by  diadorin

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5174819/ by  nickyakita