So I have been almost afraid to really and truly vent for a long time on FA. But right now, I pretty much have hit rock bottom and I don't see myself going any lower, so why the hell not...

I love this site, I really do. There is community here and sure, some people bitch and hate for both justified and unjustified reason, but regardless, FurAffinity will have been a part of my life for 10 years come July. I know I bitch occasionally, I've even been attacked by someone who "champions" Freedom of Speech that I use the site as a personal Facebook and need to shut the fuck up. Whatever, it is what it is.

About two months ago, I received a note out of the blue from someone I used to care about greatly but hadn't spoken to in nearly two years. What followed was a list of lies and accusations resulting in his conclusion that I was the single worst person on FA and that the world would rejoice when I was gone for good and people could live without fear of me. I was given a list of seven victims. Four as still very close friends of mine (one is even my mate) and laughed at the accusations. The other three are some of the most verbally abusive and hateful people I've ever encountered, and everyone I asked about shared the same opinion of them. Yet the speaker and these other seven people were my sole responsibility and I was a horrible person and scum on the bottom of the rock. I believe this situation has resolved itself, but regardless of apologies and understandings, the pain is still there and it still hurts.

I tried to set up a fun little trip with two people I greatly cared about last year. It turned into a disaster because one of them insisted on including his mother. I had reasons against this, both personal and logical, but despite my repeated attempts to compromise, it failed. I tried again this year, and this time, the mother was a problem. She hated my parents for being angry at her for the way she treated me. She knew I was gay so I was just a dirty faggot trying to steal her son away. And I was a bad influence trying to get her son to spend all his money that he should be saving to go to college (even though I've tried to get him to NOT spend $3000 on adoptables). So it ended in failure again. She gets her way, I still care about my friend, but again, I hurt.

Moving off the internet, I work with a fellow manager named Tequila (obviously, this is a cover name but her real name is actually an alcoholic beverage). She is a hateful, immature, little woman. If she doesn't get her way, she threatens to quit. If she doesn't like an employee, she will go after them until they quit or do something she can fire them for. And she hates me. She seriously has an issue with seeing me happy. She's came in three times in the month I've had my kitten and detailed to me how she plans on murdering a defenseless baby animal just to hurt me. The year I've been here, it's been one issue after another, and my superiors will do nothing about it. Just ignore her, they say. She's just being stupid, they say. Well I come in today and she's caused one employee to quit because she just kept cutting his hours every single day. She's got another one wanting to quit because she just took a day for no reason away from that employee and gave it to another employee. So I called her and wanted an explanation. After I tell her she was wrong, she lays in to her "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck this job" and yes, I lost my temper. It's really hard not to. Now, for the hundredth time, she's threatening to quit and she's literally blowing up everyone's phone to say she's quitting. I know who's going to get fucked in this situation regardless of the outcome. It's going to be me, it's always me, every time I don't let her get her way, I get fucked. And it hurts.

Everything kind of hurts right now. It's just like one incident after another after another. Maybe I really am a horrible person and the world will be better off without me. Who knows, maybe we'll get to find out soon enough....

So I know transgender hopeful people that go by different gender pronouns

I know people who claim to be the opposite gender for legit reasons and for illegit reasons

But at no point in my almost ten (a little over a month away, baby!) years on this site have I EVER said I have a vagina. I have been upfront and foremost with the fact that I have a ding-a-ling. And yet some people still seem to think I'm a woman.

Le sigh, Interneting is hard.



Edit: I took out that last part. Just the gender thing is enough ridiculousness for one journal

I have a note that was sent 15 minutes before the site crashed. I didn't get to see who sent it, I can't read it, and I can't get the notification to go away...


So annoying...

So like, total bullshit first off. The wifi at my work place is SO FUCKING BAD that I sit down, try to connect to the Wifi, eat my entire meal, and MAYBE it's connected enough to load one page? Not shitty at all....

So I'm completely and totally stressed the fuck out right now. A lot of it revolves around work, a lot of it doesn't.

Having a place of my own is both good and bad. I've got to actually pay attention to my spending a lot more, have more bills, etc but at the same time, it's my place. My rules, my decisions, all that good stuff. So that's positive in the long run.

Work is just ridiculous, this month especially. I know a lot of people think fast food is for idiots, but it's really not, especially at the level I'm at. It's a wonderful wonderful world to get cussed out over a kids meal toy (Monday), charging a dime for a cup of water (Tuesday), or not giving someone a free $8 meal because "It's supposed to be fucking paid for!" (Friday). People are pretty fucking petty and can/will take offense over the tiniest insult to their perfection. Customers never make mistakes, you must read their minds and you will still get it wrong

So, big inspection Thursday. Because of this, I spent most of my Wednesday day off at work... For free... And then employees being idiots later that night sure didn't make things easier. Thursday itself? Well, I said the outside was clean yet there were cigarette butts and chewing gum wars in the mulch so from that point on, I was shit, nothing I did was right, and all that other fun jazz. Am I overreacting? Nope, my boss was with the inspector the entire time and says he wouldn't stop criticizing me. Whatever it happens, it's a blow to the self confidence, but I'll survive. My schedule in the other hand, I might not survive. I seriously have been feeling like I have no time to live. The money is okay, but what good is money without happiness? Without peace of mind? I'm a rope fraying at both ends over here and starting today, it's about to get even more brutal.

Supposed to have a vacation coming up next week. There's problems there in terms of I'm unable to really plan because I was finally able to pick dates this month and I was told that they will be changed at everyone else's convenience if needed. Isn't that just the piss in my morning Cheerios? But that's not what's bothering me. Last year, I tried to make plans and everything blew up in my face hardcore. It was super fucking stressful, a massive ton of depression, and all that good jazz because that's what a vacation is, right? Well, I thought I'd try again this year. My parents are completely against it. They say it will blow up in my face again and I should just do something for myself. "No mom! I have faith that it won't happen again! Everything will be great!" ....it fucking happened again. Once again, my plans are being steamrolled by everyone around me, including people NOT EVEN INVOLVED, and once again, I'm expected to bend the knee and be everyone's whipping boy.

Honestly, between work and the stress of trying to keep everyone happy on MY VACATION, I'm considering just taking a vacation alone and not telling anyone when or where until I get back....

Man, I just spent a good 30 minutes covering my hands in lube, rubbing it into a nice hard shaft, squirting some on my fingers and then sticking them into the hole and getting the inside all nice and slick...

What, I was fixing an ice cream machine! @.@

So I'm shutting Fiona up in the bathroom when I go to work with everything she needs. I hate it. She is using the litter box, which is one of two things I need her doing to leave her out. Now I just have to figure out how to get her to not terrorize electrical cords. Advice?

I can see it now

President Trump and Vice President.... John... The Champion... Ceeeeeeeeeeeeena! And the Middle East goes wild and instantly ceases all terrorist activity!

And somewhere, is swooning as her man John Cena body slams world hunger into oblivion. ;- p




Man, I have lost my freaking mind

I just feel the need to share this wonderful little gem of humanity.

I posted a couple weeks ago about this lovely little fellow that approached my sister Sara on her Deviantart account, questioned her interest in bondage, and called her creepy. We quickly discover he has a very drama filled and colorful past, she decides she does not wish to associate with him, and she blocks him. How does this shining bastion of humanity respond? The only logical way! He posts a journal calling her out and getting all of his cronies to trash talk her. Ironically, he's 40 years old and a lot of his supporters are minors, but hey, whatever, we're friends with who we're friends with. Now if you guys know Sara, her idea of "hot" is very tame. A MAJORITY of what she posts is college aged to adult furries, fully clothed, and tied up. Kind of boring, but eh, I like it too. Well, according to this amazing paragon of virtue, she is disgusting and her art is filth. Ironically, a quick Google of his name and the word drama brings up his e621 page which is filled with, you guessed it, porn! Loads of porn! Nothing he drew, but all reposts. And some of it is Babs Bunny from Tiny Toons with a giant dick. Now Babs, for you younguns out there, is in elementary school. Therefore, she is AN UNDERAGED CHARACTER. So we have someone and his henchmen calling my sister nasty and disgusting for posting SAFE FOR WORK ART while he himself was posting a ton of porn, including massive dick shots of a female character who is copyrighted as an elementary school student. I'm sure there's a few words to describe him at this point but whatev.

So eventually, Sara and I are approached by another of this guy's targets. This one is a 17 year old who is being stalked and verbally harassed by this 40 year old. If that doesn't set off a few warning bells, I don't know what will. Apparently, this guy was defending his friend who was also being harassed for not dating said 40 year old and that had made him a target of a vicious multi-person onslaught. The 17 year old blocked the crusader of righteousness (who was claiming to be the victim in this entire scenario) and posted a warning journal with a ton of evidence. The 40 year old gets on a second account and continues his assault (block evasion) and the 17 year old was just fed the eff up. Do I blame him? No. Well, he asks Sara and I for more proof of this dude's hypocrisy and behavior so I gladly tell him about the porn of Ole Babs.

After a day or so, Mr Harassment makes a fuss and deactivates forever. The next day he reactivated to say goodbye and make a few more stabs before deactivating forever. A week later, naturally, he's back. No big surprise.

So with his return comes the claim that he doesn't want drama and fuck everyone dragging him into shit. Now, if a minor is claiming you are stalking and harassing them, you have two options to attempt to prove them wrong. Option A, continue to stalk, block evade, harass, and talk shot about your accuser and Option B, leave them the fuck alone. Clearly Option A is our only intelligent choice here so yay, the 17 year old is being harassed by the 40 year old again!

Now here's the beautiful part, folks. The 17 year old won't report the 40 year old because he believes the staff is totally incompetent, and will just make the situation worse. The 40 year old believes he and everyone of his friends can report the person he's bullying because the 40 year old is clearly the victim here; he kept picking fights and getting stood up to. So what could be the delicious topping on this fun sundae? The bully spam reports until the 17 year old is punished FOR DEFENDING HIMSELF AGAINST SOMEONE TWICE HIS AGE, and then the damn bully DEMANDS MORE APOLOGIES AND MORE PUNISHMENT. I am just blown away by the sheer incompetence here. Isn't it the job of the site staff to PROTECT the people utilizing their service?

So the argument continues, we're all supporting the kid that's getting bullied, and the whole porn thing comes up. I mean, the dude is stalking and harassing someone less than half his age, he's posting porn of a character that is an elementary school student on a cartoon show, surely people will finally see logic? Hell no, this is DA! Apparently when you post art, you drew that art (bet you didn't know that, folks!) so he's ranting and raving mad that he's being accused of drawing porn of children. Demanding proof, someone defending the 17 year old links him to the art he "drew". And he is able to prove that he didn't draw it (not the claim made in the first damn place) so people start forgiving him. And oh, he posted all this art as a tribute to a deceased artist! So that makes all his hypocrisy, any offensive subject matter he posts completely A.O.K.

My god, people just leave me speechless. Someone actually left the comment on DeviantArt "Shit like this just makes sites like FurAffinity seem like Heaven". *head desk* We don't do this shit over here. And if it happens, that person originated from DeviantArt. I've seen it time and time and time again...

PS if you read this entire wall of text, cookies for you

Just got a call from mom that they're going to have to put my 16 year old cat Snowball down. Trying to make the drive before they have to give her the shot, but mom doubts I can make it in time

So I was driving to work this morning, minding my own business. Everything was cool. All of a sudden, four police cars bust out behind me, lights going, sirens blaring. Naturally, I had an "Oh shit" moment and pulled over for them but they kept going and about 10 seconds later, they stop the car that was directly in front of me on the bridge over the highway. Four more officers pull up in front of him and pin him in, and I shit you not, every single police officer gets out of the cars in full body armor with an assault rifle and take cover behind their vehicles. Luckily, no one fired a single shot. And I did the typical American thing of pulling out my phone, snapping pics, and calling work to let them know I'd be late. Not comfortable posting the pics anywhere though...


So yeah, how was your morning?

So while we are waiting on the traditional Valentines Day Meal of pizza and cheese sticks, Lucca and I just want to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day. Snow is falling, were attempting to download a bootleg copy of Goosebumps, Deadpool was amazing, and he's trying to get me drunk. Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

I know this is asking a lot.... but my computer ONLY came with WordPad. If anyone has an unwanted copy of Word or knows someplace I can get it for super cheap, that would be fantastic...

Apparently I disabled comments on the picture Avezola drew and I can't re-enable them for 24 hours... I didn't click this box, is it auto-enabled? That seems REALLY counterproductive...

So we are rapidly approaching the end of January, and anyone who works food service can tell you business is as fast paced and lively as trying to pull a three legged of through quicksand on the end of a rope. People are broke from Christmas, people swore off unhealthy food and manage to make a month before falling off the wagon, people are cold and iced in, you name it. Regardless, February is a big month and I'm greatly looking forward to it

The first and most predictable reason is my 30th birthday is February 17th. God, I feel old. Eventually I'll have to replace my vore teeth with a set of dentures, but for now, here's to hopefully a good birthday with a certain sexy naga tied up and gift wrapped atop a cake or crammed into my tummy.

Secondly, I'm actually looking forward to Valentines Day this year. This is my third Valentines Day with a derptastic flammie turned goo-roo turned Latios turned moth dragon. Our first was disappointing, I won't lie. He went to play cards, my adopted brother spent Valentines Day with his mommy, and my ex who at the time was still a beloved friend fell asleep on me. Last year I managed to chat with him on Skype due to blizzard complications (and no I don't mean throbbing green Orc Jesus dick, kudos if you get the joke), and had to wait... a week? for RL dinner. This year, I've asked for the weekend off, it's been promised to me, and if I don't get it, well, I've never had a No Call No Show on my NINE YEAR WORK RECORD. So hoorah, barring acts of nature and God, happy Valentine's Day! If not, well, that naga will get stuffed again and then I will stuff myself with him...

Did I mention I love my Ven-Ven and abuse the fuck out of the poor fellow?

And the final, biggest, most humongous piece of news for the month of February...

Starting February 24th, I will NO LONGER BE LIVING AT HOME. That's right, this dragon is getting a lair of his own! I found a decent priced little place only four minutes from work, nice and comfy. Unfortunately any attempts at acquiring a roommate were repeatedly shot down by "Your roommate has to make three times the monthly rent or we will decline them" everywhere I went, but my couch will always be open for certain people. So here's hoping, talons crossed!


Big month, big month indeed

Thanks for the support to everyone who commented. I feel a lot better and I'm just not going to tolerate anymore bullshit. However, due to some other comments, I have to ask.

Is it discriminating against straight people to block someone who says all homosexuals should die to AIDS?

I am so fucking sick of the bullshit I have to endure from these close minded egotistical pricks.

The first store I worked at, the man above me was a VERY passionate Christian. While I was there, he took several employees to a private place and preached to them about how wrong it was to be homosexual, he preached to one about her worship of Satan, and he actually took me out to the lobby and told me I was in a bad mood because my mom had cancer and I knew that if she died, her Native American religious beliefs would prevent her from going to Heaven. On a less serious note, he once told me that all books and TV shows that didn't get you closer to God were a complete and total waste of time. When I mention the Divine Comedy which CHRONICLES THE ASCENT THROUGH HELL, PURGATORY, AND HEAVEN, he tells me it's a waste because Purgatory doesn't really exist. Ugh.... This fucker, the day I got away with him, I fucking breathed a sigh of relief.

Now I'm at another location. The new person is below me. And I am trying so fucking hard to be nice. She has the balls to tell me I'm a bad person and have a nasty soul because I don't go to church and I make fun of people. Really? So she always has this shitty, piss poor attitude with me, and is always looking down on me. today, I accidentally bumped into her while we were busy and she goes "You're so rude and unprofessional." When I apologized and told her it was an accident, she tells me I'm a bad person and a jerk, I'm supposed to be the boss. Before I could stop myself, I responded "Yeah? And you're supposed to be Christian but look how hateful you are." That's probably going to come back and bite me, but whatever...

I used to go to church every Sunday when I was younger. I was told Christians are loving, compassionate, beacons of morality, and accepting. But look at the mess I have to deal with! On top of that, the only Christians I really interact with outside of work, one thinks verbal abuse and harassment is a form of love while being one of the most violent self-righteous and hateful people I knew, one chewed me out because I told him Happy Holidays instead of Merry Fucking Christmas, on top of the threats he made towards me and the hateful things he said when I revealed to him that someone else had been lying to him for years, and the final one... Well, on top of how hateful he is towards anyone who disagrees with him and doesn't cater to him, you can put his name into Google and the third entry is him on his back with a big black censored bar across his crotch.

I'm sorry, I know religion is a good thing, I believe in the pillars of Christianity and faith, I try to be the best person I can be. But I don't understand why so many of the "Shining Paragons of Humanity" that I'm surrounded by are so hateful, so abusive, and just plain outright BAD people.

I don't mean to offend but I am so frustrated right now. I just needed to vent. I apologize to anyone I upset...

So this is a really odd question. I've been fantasizing and wanting art of my male naga Venorax quite a bit and I realized I am lacking some key knowledge. Where is the anus on a naga? No human upper body part, no humanoid butt, just a straight up snake with arms and a chest, where is the butthole? XD.

Santa came early. Brought me a nice shiny new Flu... Happy Holidays!

So Lucca and I went to see two movies today. I'm not going to rant and rave about how amazing a movie I expected to be utter garbage or utterly amazing was. Because there's tons of journals about that.

Unlike a certain all powerful omnipotent dominatrix wolf *coughVeronicacough*, I really wanted to see Krampus. This movie had the same potential to be complete shit that Star Wars did, but I thought it would be a jolly good time and dragged a reluctant moth along. In the end, even he was glad he went.

This movie has a certain zany horror comedy charm to it that I haven't seen since one of the iconic movies of my childhood, Gremlins. It's funny when it needs to be, scary when it needs, and hell, it mixed both together at times to great effect.

I doubt they had a huge budget on this one, but the visual effects were spot on. The voracious Jack in the Box Serpent was delightful, the ravenous teddy bear was right up there with Nightmare Freddy, and the Gingerbread Cookie Killers were just... Well, there's a certain amount of joy associated with watching someone get their ass beat by six inch cookies. When the big man himself got some screen time, he was right up there with iconic holiday figures and iconic horror villains alike.

The acting wasn't perfect, but don't write it off. The characters were all individuals with personality all of their own, each one easy to sum up as a unique person (except for the twins, but come on, twins), and Krampus and his minions had personalities all their own. I could have done without Cherub, but hey, someone had to be the worst of the worst, right?

As for plot, they probably could have done with more run time. It builds up a little slow in the start and then BAM! Krampus rolls in like a bat out of hell with little warning and quickly begins the mayhem. The middle was great, though I thought the build up to the final conclusion was a bit rushed. I almost feel like they realized they were almost out of time and too many characters were still around. The final twist was delightful, reminiscent of when Shamaylan didn't treat plot twists like his own personal fap material.

Altogether, give this movie a chance. You won't regret it. And if the only thing standing between you and seeing this movie is a fear of dolls, don't watch the trailer for The Boy. That movie wasn't just Nope, it was Nope the Fuck Out of Nopeville.

So up until recently, I didn't like cock Vore. Didn't help that an acquaintance of mine kept attempting to force me to cock vore her. But that's starting to change a little. I will admit I find the idea of a nice prey outline in the penis shaft to be arousing and the thought of my mate uh, releasing me after 'digestion' is pretty nice. But here's what still frustrates me:

I feel like that leaves a lot of the character kind of doing nothing.

For instance, take my naga that I mentioned earlier. If he's cock voring someone, what's going on with his mouth? Could he be doing something else with his tail? He's not hyper, so is a normal sized cock enough to do CV?

So confusing....

So a while ago, I let a trusted friend put me up for auction. The basic scenario was you bid, you get to do whatever ypu want to me within the guidelines I set. I was a coward, the guidelines were way to restrictive, and the result was... Well, the result was boring. Sorry, it just was. I often wonder what would happen if I tried again with no guidelines.... You know, grew a spine and whatnot. XP.

So my question is, were I to put myself up for auction again with the only guidelines being no scat and no piss, would anyone be interested?


I also have a rather hungry naga looking for a good meal as well.

So frustrated... Do you know how hard it is to relax and enjoy yourself when you have someone who is either screaming into a telephone like a fucking high school girl or blaring YouTube shit at top volume while you're trying to just chill? I would rather walk around alone than have to babysit someone who doesn't want help, he wants answers, or someone who can't make a single fucking decision by himself? If I'm going to make every decision, I'd rather be alone! And on top of that, I have to tour a place I'd be super excited in touring with three people who won't speak my language and keep cackling like hyenas at the end of every sentence at the top of their lungs?

On top of all of this, my feelings towards certain people that I repress because they make me feel insanely negative towards those people keep surfacing as the fucking truth.

All this while I'm on what is an amazing opportunity.

I don't drink. Never really have, never wanted to.

Seriously wondering how fucked up that bright green drink with the cherry on top will get me...

So I didn't necessarily tell everyone but I only have minimal access to Internet for the entirety of this week. Until Saturday evening, I have temporarily relocated to Chicago for leadership training. The hotel is awesome, the flight was smooth, the food so far has been expensive but nice. XP. Only problem is my roommate who is quite a bit older than me and just so freaking silly. Not a problem, really, but so silly... Anyway, first class begins in an hour. Nervous nervous nervous...

Ok, so the way our system works is you receive a receipt after ordering your food. At the top, in giant bold letters, it has a number. When your number is called, you pick up your food. Easy.

So we just had a bus of high school athletes. After taking their orders, I start retrieving their food. I sit a bag on the counter and go "Order 285, order 285." A guy walks up to me and goes "Is this order 386?" He then shows me his receipt which says in huge letters at the top "287".

This is our future generation, people.

I am craving some Pokenoms and I don't mean shaded masterpieces, maybe quick sketches and the whatnot. If you're interested in helping toss me a comment with your prices and we can talk.