Hi all.. as I explained on my lookup.. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.



Follow me there if you so please, I will be dismantling this account in due time.

So I cannot decide now between one strip on each limb, or no stripes.

I'm torn because PINK AND YELLOW!!

My ankle today. I resemble a zombie, hobbling around. XD

I'm totally going suiting there tomorrow morning!! weee!! can't wait.

Calling all NOVA furs! We've made a group!!
Please spread the word!!
We're going to try to start setting up some fur meets and get this going!!

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/novafurs/

I mean, If I could wear it to work I totally would. /happy happy happy.
She is so pink and yellow. And he's so comphy. and she's everything I expected her to be and more. and I LOVE pink and yellowwww. xDxDxD

I can't wait to wear her out. I can't wait to meet other furs!

But i'm going out of town for a much needed vacation this weekend. I look forward to tuning out all contact with the outside world and just spending quality time with my boy up in the mountains north of montreal. I leave tomorrow, and i'll be reachable again on Tuesday. I just felt like posting this here because I can't really post it on my fb. /yay

So I've been thinking over the past week about my current color scheme and whatnot. I love love pink/yellow/white. But, if I'm ever to actually have a fursuit made, if she is this white, she'll be so dirty so fast!

So I was thinking I'm going to be more hot pink, more yellow, with some white markings.

When will I actually get around to designing this, you might ask?

I'm not sure.

Sorry.. i just love this. I know I'm really late on this trend.. But rather late than never, right?
haha. It's so stuck in my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?featu.....;v=Nh7UgAprdpM

You're beautiful, pass it on.

Okay so.
New plan for 2013.
STOP LOOKING BACKWARDS.
Only look forwards.
-Save moneys.
Get a partial of my fursona at least. (I'd love a full suit, but I mean, I don't have an extra $2,000 laying around lolol.
-I'd like to get the head, hands, and tail.
I think that's a great starting point and if I can pull that off I'll be thrilled.
-See about going to the con in Ottowa in August.
(Again, more money, but I'm going to save everything starting now!!)


So. money, partial, and a con. this will be a fun year if I can pull it off.

So on Sunday I inadvertently tried to kill myself.
I didn't mean to.
Like, I'm not suicidal.
But it almost happened.
I was being stupidly reckless the entire trail ride. (on my girl Scout, bareback, I rarely wear a helmet but by some stroke of insane luck I had one on)
Earlier in the ride there was a bunch of people walking in front of us, and they say that there were horses behind them so they moved off to the side of the trail.. almost directly in front of the log I wanted to jump (and jumped anyways), probably too close to these people.
But I wasn't thinking about being safe. I was thinking about how dumb my whole situation is here. I'm so upset at my ex. I want him to give me another chance. There's a long drawn out drama with that. But the basis is, I want another chance. I'm taking an $800 class to learn french, his language. The only reason I'd have to take this would be for him. I just want another chance. But he refuses and rejects me every chance he can.
So I was thinking about how badly I need to eradicate him from my life. How awful it would be. How miserable I am when he ignores me for days at a time.. i was just thinking about all that. It was making me more reckless.
So we got to this part of the trail where it's kind of hilly, up down a bit. It's all pretty nicely kept up blue stone. Good footing. But one of the main rules of riding is never go fast downhill. I have always wanted to ignore this rule and just keep going.
Well on Sunday I did it and it almost cost me my life. And the life of Scout for that matter.
We were going full out (on the way back, so scout was more enthusiastic than when going away from the barn).
We came to the top of the dip and I could have, should have slowed down, but instead I pushed her harder. At the hollow of the dip there was a small patch of snow. i didn't think anything of it until scout's front feet hit it and she slipped.. at full speed the ground came up to meet us. Since I was bareback I was ejected from her back. If I had been wearing a saddle I would have been completely crushed.. The impact of Scout hitting the ground, and the speed at which we were going caused Scout to flip over while rolling, and slide forward several feet, and I would have been completely crushed. But instead I was far enough away from her that I missed her flailing legs. But my entire right side, my head, my shoulder, my hip, my knee (mostly my head and my shoulder) hit the ground like a ton of bricks. The force knocked the wind out of me, and I hit my head so hard I thought I was dead for sure.
I couldn't move at first. I had to lay there and wait for my limbs to cooperate and decide that they wanted to move again. When I finally was able to stand up, my shoulder felt wrong, sore already, and my eyes.. my vision was completely wrong. I was very weak, but my friend gave me a leg up on Scout, who had mud on both sides of her withers, across her back, from her sliding so far. But she was okay.
The whole ride back I was watching crazy lines fluttering across my entire field of vision, moving slowly. People that jogged past had faces, but I couldn't make them out, they were very blurry and didn't look like faces. The blurry lines eventually started settling to the bottom of my vision, like puddles of blurry water.
About 20 minutes after the accident we made it back to the barn, and I looked in the mirror and couldn't recognize my own face. I couldn't tell it was me looking back at me. It's very hard to describe, but it was scary. I texted one of my other friends at that point and told her when happened. I had the hardest time typing, because my fingers were so frozen, but also because I couldn't read the screen on my phone, everything had patches of blurry.
15 minutes after that my vision returned to almost normal, there were still 'bright patches' in my vision, but I developed a pretty tremendous headache. My shoulder was also stiffening up. My hip was sore, but I knew it was fine.
I didn't text Matt. I refused to. He would have caught a flight immediately to come make sure I was okay once upon a time. But now "I'm safe from his rage" as he put it himself.
I was insanely lucky to make it through this. I did go to the doctor the next day. He had xrays done of my shoulder and hip, and everything checked out, including my head.
I'm even madder now that I'm still so caught up over this man.. who doesn't feel the same anymore. I'm so mad at him.
I'm lucky to be alive. Why can't I appreciate that, and stop focusing so much on my misery about not having Matthew anymore?