Dang wow it's been like ages since I posted on here. Well let me give you a heads up. I've been working on a Youtube channel called Heavy Breathing Toy Reviews. I know what you are thinking why name it that? while it's a inside joke is why we named it that. plus the heavy breathing cat looked funny after we laughed about the heavy breathing joke. So the name stayed. You can check out the channel here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx.....3cWIqvO0az0xiQ Yeah we will be doing other things beside Toy Reviews but yay new Toy Review channel.

For Me I am living one day at a time waiting for a call from another company so I can work closer to home. I seen my first big anime movie in a theater which was pretty neat! I been thinking about story ideas for Samurai Tails my gal think we need a new artist but I don't know how that goes. Would be cool to be a Stan lee and have to look for my own Jack Kirby. I just think she needs practice. If you want to check out what we have so far look at it on her channel here. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14981369/
other then that. that was it for my life. I hope you all are having a great life. until next update smell ya later!

OMG OMG I had a blast being at AFC this year with and Stitches. We got to see a few shows and my honey bear was in the masquerade ball and she might not know but I starting to notice her coming out of her shell. Which means she is slowly not being and she might be able to be her punk rock self! We also been to a few panels. I learned a few things about art if I could do it on the computer but I draw traditionally but I am saving for a new powerful desktop rig but more on that later.

I am also happy to have meet a few people at the con like and I hope to see them again next year and game with them! 2 the ranting gryphon was so awesome this year he was a blast! wished I could've recorded his whole show but battery was running out of juice so I couldn't... =(
oh! Miss Stitches won best novice at the masquerade which is pretty darn awesome!

Now about what have been going on with little old me for the past few weeks. One my lappy of 8 or 9 years just died on me... me and that laptop been threw a lot of "Shit" to say the less but now he is dead... but Mike gave me a idea to build a Desktop so I will build one from the ground up with him and his mate so I wanted to get a set up with 2 screens. with all the best insides that money can buy. so I can finally play Tera with friends and... WOW with them. not my cup of tea but I'll try it since most PC gamers like that game. and I am a gamer after all and I still want to play with my bro and play SL again with I still get depressed sometimes thinking about things usually when I'm all alone missing my old blue foxy bud but hey that's how the world works and like I always say if life give you lemons or people just make lemonade.

Now about the Comic we gotten 49 pages done but they still need to be colored on the computer and words need to been cleaned so you guys can read it and a few things have been changed to better represent the story so hopefully we have the first epic chapter done very soon! but until then you furs stay classy. =3

Hey guys I had a great time at Phoenix Comicon with and I've been to a lot of panel learn some things about my writting that need to be changed and some stuff I already knew about when it comes to youtube videos but the fun things wasn't so fun when it came to the Marvel vs DC panel since the judges was kissing batman and superman ass saying they can pretty much own the Marvel universe as a Marvel fan it pissed me off! The Kingdom Hearts Panel was pretty awesome. The Judges didn't know as much as they thought they did and the fans was getting really rabid some of them walked out the room and I was just having fun look at them wanting to flip tables.

I won a prize at the gargoyles' panel for being a nerd about the show which was great! I really REALLY love gargoyles. =) I met the people from team 4 star I got a picture with them and got an autograph from them too! Took a lot of pictures and I got a picture with me standing next to Kit the knight rider car!!!! XD and it talks! I had a blast at the con over all. I can't wait to go again!

Now for E3 I love the Nintendo panel best with all the smash bros news (I'll show links down below ) I can't wait to play with Palutena she looks really good! The Miis might be good to play as too but meh still waiting on a few more characters to be announced like *cough* krystal *cough* and those little mini smash figures are ok I guess but none of my fighters have a figure yet. I might get peach if peach is good but if not then no buy. Link looks like a girl in the new Legend of Zelda game and a remake of starfox from the SNES era.... call me when a new starfox that is after command is out. I should be excited about Pokemon but I only played for 3 people since one is gone, the other we don't talk to much anymore, and the last one I think will be addicted to WOW to play I think I'm going to pass in getting it. need friends or fans to play it and I have none for this game. plus it's from a era of pokemon I don't really care for. now if they remade silver then I'll throw them money!

Well that was everything from the Con and E3 I cared about until next journal see ya later.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsl3bNO1O0w

Hey you guys that may read this I'm back with the latest news! =D Well her friend and Me went to go see Maleficent which was a great movie! But I guess when we was watching it me and her friend related to this new "rebooted" Maleficent. For those of you that didn't see the movie just skip pass this part or heck just skip this Journal and wait for next update. Me and Brooke's friend was arguing about who related more Maleficent with her talking about her past life she was a bird or something I forget but the fact was I was the one betrayed by a loved one then during my spiraling down I became hateful did some very bogus stuff just didn't care about anything just to have a taste of the power they used. I just didn't believe "true love" existed anymore. Until my "Beastie" came along she was always happy and cheerful despite I brood every now and again she is always there being funny keeping me with a smile on my face even when I feel dark and want to be alone to sort things out she is there and soon as time went on I grow a heart again just like Maleficent did in the movie but there was a twist but I'll save that for you guys to watch it for yourself if you haven't already. So that is what happened between me and her.

I didn't get the Gamestop job for whatever reason but I'll keep on looking until I get lucky to finally get a second job so I can get me and my honey bear the finer things in life! There is a Comic Con tomorrow and I'll be going to that and having fun then after that I will be starting up my old YouTube channel to do toy reviews and vlogs or blogs or whatever lol and still working on the comic brooke got a few pages done but they still need to be inked and scanned. Other then that, that was it. So Comment if you guys like have a ball! Until Next Journal.

After alot of calling and going to Point A to B I'm finally in the doors and have a job I work sometime next week and can't wait to be working! I've also been on another double date and we want to go see the new Captain America movie The Winter Soldier. It was a pretty awesome movie with the captain making new friends and trying to find a new life but then he finds out his old friend is still alive and tries to fight for him the movie was pretty darn awesome I just kept thing winter soldier was one of my friends and even tho we fight or he pushy me away I was wondering should I step back? Then I seen Cap fight for his friend and I was wondering should I do the same and be the guy that tries to fight? I also have to remember the life lesson I learned that real life is not like sitcoms and or movies. hehe funny thing is now my life kinda do feel like one but still...

Now for Art: I've been working on some doodles. I'll be posting soon and it's one of my mate's characters she made for the mega man role play but the other she asked me to design her a maverick character too so I did but I have to ink them both and she might color them so that will be up soon. I started back toy collecting as well hope to build up my dark avengers collection and to build my super smash bros collection too! I'm going to buy some poster to trick out the place then it will be a even nerdier paradise that we created for ourselves. And the comic is going by slowly because my honey bear has to catch up to the written story. So for me I get a break from writing stories but she gets to draw more. to see what we have so far just click this link. http://redfoxgreeneyes13.deviantart.....ic-1-420462682 You can check out the first few pages here.

Ok First off sorry for not being so active on here or Facebook in a few days was busy with moving and everything but glad to say I'm all moved in with my sweet honey bear and we're both working together to get me all settled in this paradise city I am in now which I'll dub the "Paradise Zone" for you sonic fans out there. Any who I'm still waiting back on a call from Albertsons or I should say they are waiting on a email back from my old job... Jewels-Osco to see if I will be coming on as a worker of 11 years or be a new guy in which either way doesn't matter I'll keep moving forward with the plan.

So since that's out of the way here is my other news since at the moment I need to practice on my art and I need money I'll will be doing FREE ART which means I'll be happy with doing trades and request just to get some practice in but I will be doing Mega Man series characters as well since I love drawing machines and Mega Man X style characters if you want one of these I'll have to charge 3 bucks for one of these if you want one. and if you're wondering how do I draw? you'll see some stuff scanned or took pictures of my work soon but for right now I'll show you this http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7852436/

I didn't draw this but I did designed it so yeah I had to draw it first but someone with better skills colored it for me but the design is all mine. so keep that in mind when you ask for a Mega Man X character. so normal Art is Free but Mega Man ART is NOT Free if you interested send me a note I would like to be paid by PayPal if you will. Thank you for reading!

It's 12:35am and I'm watching transformers trying to draw a gift for someone thinking about that one of my most precious dreams is about to happen. I'm about to be moving with someone I care for a lot. I'm not going to lie I am very nervous and scared. I was very negative about this on the inside for being "damaged" but she is helping me be back to my happy gay excited and everything happy go lucky with gum drops and rainbow self we have a lot of plans lost my job for the greater good but for how my luck is it seems I may found a new job to where I'll be going then I start the "plan" to own a cool nerdy home with all my mega man x and marvel comic stuff and work on that comic book store dream while making her the most happiest fur while doing it. I'll just say you can't keep a good old foxcoon down. I'll say goodbye to ye old Chicago I knew ye well, and hello to nice and warm Arizona because like one of my favorite characters on Inuyasha would say "I am the wind and one day I'll be free!"I guess I am going to be free out of my uncle house and that other crazy stuff that was going on but any who. I would like to say to all the people I have met over the years in Chicago that you guys are awesome and I'll miss you all! but we can always talk on Skype or Facebook so send me a line if you feel like you're missing this old emo foxcoon lol I'll be happy to catch up and talk but until then I have a few more days left so I'll be all over the place saying goodbye so hope to see some of you guys before I leave so bye bye for now. =)

So Far the Xbox live party is coming up nicely still need a girl member but the what I call The NEW XBOX Avengers team is forming nicely with the members of myself and a few others that don't have accounts on here but We need YOU! a person that knows how to have fun and to make people laugh! Yes we are furs but we are all from different parts of the rainbow so please don't be an asshat in the party because someone sounds a curtain way.. and differently don't be a party pooper.. then again maybe we can use one for the LOLZ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80YFtnTBApU other then that, we're a pretty awesome rag tag team of furs looking for a great time!

On others news me and 's comic is coming out nicely we're still working on season 1 even got a artist to do some of the detailed work for it. yes we put ourselves in the comic but it will make good story so just read it when it's out. speaking about that I had to look for something deep inside myself for info my old hateful ex told me about with selling things who would knew I would use this info for someone else? Yes it was quite painful to do but it seems pain is part of my life how things work but I'll use the info to better help Miss Red in her future goals. I talk like a crazy person lol I guess I am. hopefully I can help her get everything she needs to run her business. Not sure if I can do it but I'll try my best to use what I learned.

Other other news looks like I'll be moving soon. Great!? I know! well I'll be saying goodbye to the old windy city to where I was born to start a new life else where. like the wind I most go where the wind push me next. I will work hard to get to my goals and help where I can. I guess that's about it for now until next journal see ya next time! *waves*


here is something random but meaningful to me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtHz1EGKZXc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGgspUxzRiw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca6Eq_mmcgY

Finally after so many months 2013 is over.. yeah the start of the year for me was pretty bad a lot crap happened didn't know what to do to fix anything or how to handle it. I'm just happy that towards the end of the year the year got back pretty awesome. I lost friends but gain new ones, even got my best bud back which is like super awesome for me. got a new mate and all the plans I had are now back on schedule. Took a lot of hard work on my part but pretty much fixed my life despite I now deal with depression and bi polar disorder I thought I can control it or at least regulate it but I can't. All I can say is that for my new year's resolutions it already started. I said I wouldn't let friend/family or anyone else walk over me ever again which me if you verbally attack me I will attack you back... HARD! Drama did happen to me over the holidays but I dealt with it. It was very out of character for me but I had to call a douche bag out when people are being a douche. if anymore was said I would say even more "True and Bogus" stuff. *sigh* I just have to say if people don't care what they say to me I guess I too don't care what I say to them. I just wish the world wasn't like this but it is.

For now the plan to move is coming together slowly and soon I will know how to drive so better jobs will be in my future. I then have to make my mate's dream come true lol I guess I'm working on that now in a sense but it will still take sometime before it's done. I just have to do things slow and not run but I'll start running soon to get the plan moving faster. I hope that this year a lot of good things will come to pass. if not then I'm ready to fight anyone that gives me "lip" but I don't look for trouble I just want to have an awesome time like anyone else. I say I wish you all a Happy New Year and for you doormats out there don't let anyone walk over you. if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be but don't let them walk over you. goes for your family too if they say something off to you. fight back!

It's fun dealing with mood swings. It would seem when I used my "Copy Ability" I copied to much now I have something I don't think I can control which I guess writing kinda helps with it but not by much. Before anyone reads this and say that I want pity, just stop. I do this for the sake to leave a mark. I guess to say something like "I existed" also don't look to deep into it I'm not thinking of anything dumb or anything but it does cross my mind many times. I hear it could just be some chemical imbalance that all I need is some "cure all pill" or I just might need therapy. I just want to know does life have any meaning? We get up go to work get off work do the same thing over and over again. yeah you can have fun and you may not have fun. you may be rich or you may be poor but one thing is for sure people get tired of the same song and dance and punch out early. I heard a few rich people did it for whatever reason and you ask yourself why would they do such a thing!? they're RICH BITCH!!!

Anyways I love my mate to bits but to hear stuff like you're not sure if we will be together is very troubling to me... I do know that the future is never guarantee haha that I learned. but for what purpose do you think it would end? I do make small mistakes but who doesn't? other then that I'll never hit any nice girl, I'm pretty much a slave to them. Heck I have freakin "Inner Power," that I might can make anything happen just with sheer willpower but nope that is not enough. Ha I think I'm a pretty handsome guy, yeah! Yet I am plague with a problem that I can pretty much sum it up to Home vs Heritage but since I notice I do say nerdy stuff in theses I'll say this line from a certain game "The blood that flows through my veins is cursed. 'Twould be best if I were to disappear forever."

I wonder maybe is that the reason why she say things like that? but I'm going to go on a limb here and say she means: Forever is a long time and time has a way of changing people. I can't lie, I've changed. But in the end does it really matter? I guess the more I live through pain and observe human society I just don't like it. I feel very out of place or out of my time, like I don't belong here but belong somewhere else or to be something else. I really just don't know what to do about anything really. Yet another problem I have to solve one day. I guess in at the end of the day I hope she didn't make a mistake. or if I made one. I guess that's all I have to say on that. until next journal.


http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xs.....ull_shortfilms

Well Thinking here at 7:25am listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AX.....1_e37Mxk2dpJaA I think about this "New Saga" that is about to start I feel scared of the possibilities of what the future can bring. With the passing of thanksgiving I should be thankful for all the friends I met over the course of my journey looking for some meaning to this world I traveled to Tennessee and Arizona and planning to do some more traveling in the future to one day see and a few others but I found out a lot of stuff about myself some people would see it as a flaw but I think I made it a strength which I'm very co dependent but took a lot of hard work to get where I'm at now and found someone very special and I know I'm like Mr.Freeze and I know everything mistake I will learn from it so it will never happen again but I am thankful having friends and the power to keep pushing onward in my quest to be happy which I think that crazy phoenox actually drop me in paradise I know some sliver of darkness is there but I will fight like I always do, but my caring mate will help me get through that darkness until one day it is destroyed so I am also thankful for having going through what I went through. I guess I had to go through that to learn and find her. As 2013 draws close to it's end I will remember the good and bad of this year and push on to a brighter tomorrow.

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. I know I did. =) I got my banana pudding. If you wish tell me what you should be thankful for. we all come from different parts of life with different problems but at the end of the day we all should be thankful for something. Until next journal, you stay classy internet.

So I want to M.F.F. didn't know what to expect when I came there but when I did get there I was kinda lost I didn't see most of my friend either they didn't arrive yet or they were fursuiting but I did talk to some people while I waited which was cool. Wished I got there info... I love talking about Marvel Comics even more about Venom and Superior Spider Man but after they left I want to the game room and it was kinda bleh... I seen alot of really old school games which I loved but I was like " where is the Marvel vs Capcom 3? Where is Super Smash Bros Brawl!?" So I just said "fine..." and played some games and met some more people playing you don't know jack and I didn't know jack! haha then I heard a familiar voice and I was so happy to see and it been so long since I seen them in person and the last time I seen them I was dealing with a lot of drama but it was very nice to see them but this time free from that drama so we talked and hung out then finding out that there will be no brawl this year I had to change that because I was looking forward to playing brawl with him. I seen my ex but funny thing was she was acting like one of the scenarios I've planned and seening that and I didn't feel anything because of the experiments, research, and observation I knew that talking to her in anyway would mean that she still had power over me and she has no power over me.So with that being said I'm glad to say with the ending of this M.F.F. That saga is finally over... but back to more con! I seen many people but I was happy to see my good friend I wished we could've talked more but we had our own clicks to be with but I'll see her again at L.A.F.F. but after I want home and came back with the Wii and my cousin Mr Darnell the party started! when coming back to the room it seemed that someone brought there own wii and brawl so it was a wasted trip but at the same time it wasn't we had gamecube controls then we have had a fantastic time! We played brawl and played alot of good people it was actual a good game and watch there and I finally played rainy in brawl and we had a ball but it was fun just to watch him and my cousin interact with each other put a smile on my face but the weird thing was I seen a lot of people that reminds me off my mate so many red headed people. The most high light of the night for me was winning a match of smash bros with just 1 life with CAPTAIN FABULOUS! OMG I wish we all could've stayed longer but we all had to go so I went home happy that everything went ok and I feel like I have my best friend back plus made some new ones like I just hope I can go again one day.. but because of the New saga I will talk about in another journal, I'll save that for another time. Until next Journal.

As I get ready for M.F.F. I wonder, what will happen? Will it be awesome, or a nightmare? I was hoping that after everything everyone could be friends. I just don't know if anything like that will happen just a lot of either being fake or I might just see hate and rage but besides all that I just want to see my old friend that has been reaching out to me even after all this and all that was said. If it goes how he and my cousin say it will go then this might be a good con at the very least. We can play some smash bros and just hang out if it's just me him and my cousin and who ever that is a neutral party that "Don't hate me" but do over he said or she said without knowing both sides of the story. I just want this chapter to end. Which it will after this year M.F.F. and a new saga will start right after this I suppose but I'll get into that "New Saga" in the next journal. I just hope something happens really good and not just a reunion show with laughs and drama. lol with my mental health as of late I doubt I can keep cool but We shall see.... until next Journal.

As M.F.F draw close my dreams gets more and more disturbing... makes me wake up angry or very depressed. Yeah it should be a joyous of days for me but this year is different from the last 2 years I went there even tho last year I went alone... but still had fun just wasn't as fun as 2011's M.F.F but this year I feel mixed emotions about it. But lets us talk about "Clicks" everyone belongs to a click there are different clicks each person brings something different to the click. Yeah I did made some new friends but who to say I am part of that "click" I know there is only one person out of the new friends I talk to on a regular bases and that is love having drinks with him and just being a goof ball but still most people will just talk to me for a few then go back to there respectful click. Which for me, I know I don't have a click anymore. Yet when I was at AZ fur con I


felt happy being around Red's happy go lucky and nerdy friends like Kyla, Amps, and Mike but that is her click. I felt like if I go to M.F.F It won't be good. even tho going back to the old click I was in only one person wanted me to come and I know I know woe is me woe is Eeyore right? I don't want to disappoint anyone that want me to come or if my "old" friend really want to reconnect or just want to see a show hahah and I'm the Drama Queen but anyway I just don't know with my research and paranoia and depression, I think I'm getting that the best thing for me to do is just to sit this one out, but yet I want to go... This very confliction is the source of my dreams. I am self righteous so I want to try to fix the problems I caused. I know somethings just can't be helped and I went by doing things the wrong way and I'm sorry about that. I'm just not sorry for fighting for what I believe in. or standing up for myself. I did what I thought was best. but understanding that and moving on is part of life but I didn't want to lose all my friends over this. haha thinking back now I should stay with my friend who I told I would see him but oh noble me wanted to go to the Aid of my love one when she needed me the most and what did that choice got me in the end? I do make mistake wish I can fix everything but yet I can't fix anything. I wish that I can fix the click but yet they are not like me. Just like maybe to them I have to prove something but yet they have to prove something to me. I just don't think it's going to happen I stop believing in stuff like that months ago, plus after the day of the pointless argument people seem to leave like someone told them something... and they just left even when seeing another friend that is associated with them start saying some very depressing things so you being the "dick" you are you come on down to cheer them up pick them up and the next day they are gone. so what is this telling me? lol I haven't seen a lick of anyone trying to repair anything on their end so everyone can feel comfortable and be happy at the con. Which is why I think



I am walking into a trap. Despite all that, all that was said which had no effect on me because the other stuff I seen happen which makes me think that the fortune teller was right about the both of us but mine was kinda sad... I don't have any great skills like I want... but I have some type of inner power to bounce back from very traumatic events. I have power of Will to make almost anything happen. Even after all that I just wonder how long can someone can keep bouncing back until they stop bouncing? I'm just human I wish I was more then Human because I tend to slowly dislike being it but yet what I truly want to be doesn't exist. I'm tired of being "Good" if people just going to just either walk all over you or just take and take but to never give. hahah I miss talking to "old" friend about all these type of matters but yet I can't.. not anymore... I would call this whining I thinking he would too lol I looked up to him so much. I guess I have to try to have adventures by myself for now until I feel like I belong again or something but ragers never forgive. Why ask?


I already tired. I think I fought to hard and lost and fought to less and still lost and yet another thing why am I'm coming to a place where one person want me there but he will be hang out with people that hate or "don't hate" me because I'm a "Dick" because we all know that "dicks" that have the money or power to help someone that is a close friend that they will help them and pull them out of there troubles or plan to help them further because "Dicks" do that... Wow this thing is really eating me up inside but that is only a piece of my worries. In the end I really doubt they care. Ha here's to Humanity! And Here's to the Hell I am trapped in to forever live in until that sweet day I am free from it all! I really hate these mood swings and the realization that I might be slowly going insane. yet logic is always fighting trying to save my poor weak self when part of me just don't want it. I guess I'll let the fates decide what I'm going to do about M.F.F. All that I can hope for is everything goes well for both parties or I should just say for everyone else... until next Journal... signing out.

Well I had a Fabulous time in Arizona took a lot of pictures went to one AZ fur con and met telephone and seen a lot of Arizona and I already miss it... the weather... the people... all the cool mountains I was it was so amazing. My first plane ride was magical I seen a rainbow orb by my window then it went other the plane's wing the scientist in me want to say it was just light shining on the window and moisture from the clouds but for some reason I think it is something else and I need to research this further but anyways I met reds mom and was at her home and I bonded well with her and her grand mom I love them so much and found out that me and the mother have a lot in common that happened with us in life and I'm happy to call her "Mom" the dad was nice but quite but that is ok since I'm a mother's boy anyway. Miss can cook a lot Japanese food I love her cooking. I feel bad, all I did was make her breakfast it was good but she can make Japanese food!!! I love her house and I love her mom house but red's house is so nerdy with lots and lots of anime stuff and she collects Tails too! <3 we watched a lot movies but I was more fond of the anime we watched like hyper police which is a very furry anime and me and her relate to two characters on there for her it was Natsuki and for me it was Batanen awwww I miss her already but yet I am proud of her for going up on stage in front of all those furs to do her dance I know she had to be scared she is such a innocent flower like how I use to be I need to protect her so she never feel what I went through. I played D&D for the first time and it was pretty darn awesome! I kinda seen a friend I wanted to see but didn't know he lived near Arizona or even went to the con so we said hi to each other but didn't know how each other look until I came home and told him about it so like wow but I will met him again when I go up to see my Miss Red again had a lot of fun until the last day it was kinda sad but we will see each other again... but yet soon when I got home drama still started with another person I wish to keep as a friend but I understand her choice all she can do is learn and fight for the next person that comes along and I mean fight for them. other then that everything went well until next journal stay classy furs.

I been feeling really good for the past few days I don't know why but I feel like I just got passed something that was really hard for me I learned so much from having these things happen to me and I think it's what I needed to see and live through since most of my life I've just been looking at the world though a looking glass to never interact with it but to observe. I've been though heart break for the first time made some really bad choices stood up for myself and just learned the dos and don't s of life and I know I will not make the same mistake ever again I feel like reading superior spider-man I know I can't be nice every waking minute I have to be mean and firm even when I don't want to be but that is part of being a "MAN" I am a little darker yeah I feel that I am from how I treat people at work and in everyday stuff but still deep down I'm still a nice guy but I have to be mean sometimes. Beside that I have also decided to do things I don't do like going to try to cook for loved ones now <///< and be a better person that don't try to use laughter all the time to get me by when I don't know how to interact with you but despite the mistakes I made and all the other crap that happened I am honestly thankful that it did happen so I can evolve and be the best 2.0 I can be and with each problem I come across I will learn and adapt to that problem like Mega Man's Variable Weapon System. So I would like to say Thank You world for teaching me this lesson that I had to learn through pain and torment to just raise again stronger then I have ever been in my life. THANK YOU and another Thank You to the new friends and old friends that came to my aid when I needed it the most when all was bleak with no light at the end from the bottom of my heart thank you! here is a song on how I feel about everything that happened. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHfw.....aA&index=1

Well in a few days I'll be going on a trip to see my friend that been helping me through all this trouble I've been having lately. We will have lots of fun I'm sure just hope when I come home there is no problems like the last two trips when I came home drama started one I felt I was just to stressed out the other trip just a lot of stuff happened and I was over my limit in dealing with it so yeah a lot of stuff I can't change because people control that outcome it wasn't fate or anything like that anything can go back to how it was it's all based on people. I just know I will have the best time with my good friend When I get home even if something bad happens I know there will be no drama because she is just to awesome! Here to some rest and relaxation! I'm out! follow up after I get back from the trip and I have to catch a plane for the first time I hope it don't get hijacked or just blow up or something... that would suck.... lol

For the past month I've been thinking a lot on the human mind. what can it take, and what can it not take? That so called "Heart" which we all know it what help us breathe but the Heart I'm talking about is love for your dog, your friend, you mate anything you love it can be that D Arts Mega Man X or Zero on your shelf. I have two friends one online one real life both of these people we been through a lot. We laughed, we cried, we over all dealt with really bad drama (both of these people are guys) if we both said a lot of mean stuff to each other and can kiss and make up why is it so hard for girls to do it? I want to fix as much damage that I caused some of it it was more of me defending myself so I try to deal with everything in a peaceful way but what I learned people don't lesson to peace so you might as well been an asshole about it now days or people will walk over you. But I shouldn't be hard to forgive anyone if guys can do it after a month and act like nothing happened but girls can't. so what I'm Researching now is if guys are just plain and simple more "Pure" then girls? I asked a few people about this and some I just observed and see the hate anger for no reason been months shouldn't have to be feeling that way. I just want to know what you guys think about all this if you read these journals I don't think so but if you do I would like to see what you furs think about all this and how you feel about this guys forgive more then girls do. comment below!

Ok the latest news I just maybe got approved for "LINK" which is something I need but I am ashamed to ask for the government's help but it's a start next I have to really work hard to get my driver permit so I can then go to driver school to get my license then I can get a better job lol then back to school for me. I've meet some cool people IRL not so much online anymore but meh. I'll live. Been having so much fun experiencing new sensations like.... DARK PHOENIX! or some new type of thing I don't know why I'm thinking about Jean Grey but meh I can relate to her I gues being a good person then having this new side to me that was created from drama but hey "One Step at a Time." Right? Well that's all for now until next time my pees, see ya!

With all the stuff I've been going through for the past few months I deiced it's time to let go and move on with my life so with that being said I'm going on an adventure! I going to find myself and be happy and make people happy along the way because it's what I do so I hope to see you guys later chow! =3

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