So today was day one of Fiesta, lots of fun, suited for awhile, that was AWESOME.


While I'm not officially going to sell tomorrow, I realized it's a perfect opportunity for my button bouquets. I'd be happy to trade for arts and whatnots, I'll be doing button work during my downtime when Zentra's off running amucks.

Arrival and Departure: I live in DFW. I'll be in attendance all three days!

Staying at: Home!

Mode of Transportation: Walter, my car!

Room Share: I like 15 minutes away. :P

Table Share: None this time.

Major Plans at the Con: First time fursuiting and hanging out with friends!

Artwork/commissions: I'm terrible, but I love doodling. Please do find me for trades!!

Fursuit(s): Yes! It's going to be Miss Lily's first time out!

Attending Parties: Maybe?

How best to find me: I'll be wearing a couple badges, otherwise look for my tail!

Stage Performance: Nope.

Drink: Yesssss.

Smoke: Never.

Hugs: Go for it! But please from the front, I will flip if I don't see you coming!

Talk: I never shut up.

What is your gender? Female.

How old are you? 22

Can I touch you? I'm sort of...iffy on lots of touching. Hugs are okay, handshakes sure, do not make me awkward.

Can I buy you lots of drinks? haha, sure thing. Sweeter = better.

Can I give you lots of money? Uh, sure?

Can I hug or snuggle with you? Hugs are fine. Snuggling, not advised. lol

How tall are you? 5'4''

You look pissed off out of suit. Can I come up to you? Please do! I doubt you'll catch me that way, but go for it!

Are you nice? I'd like to think so!

Are you cliquey? No, not really. I'll be around my friends because it's more familiar, but I'm not cliquey.

Can I stalk you? On FA and Twitter (;

If I see you, how should I get your attention? Come up and say hello, I love to meet new people (:

Can I take a picture of ya? In and out of suit is fine and let me know afterwards- I'd like to see the picture too!

Can I steal ya away for *censored*? Ummmmm. I don't think my guy would appreciate it!

So I found literally the most amazing thing on the internet and I have decided that fo'sho, this should be how I get drunk the next time!

http://scrollbar.dk/events/20081128.Portal.Bar/

I need to get absinthe, I want the GLaDOS!

So I'm opening up simple 1$ sketches for more practice :) Any species, ratings over G add 1$.


Also, add Distant Vampire on your Live friends and watch movies with me. We can haz fun timez?!

Taasla is doing her free sketches again! I'm not going to hog a spot but everything I've ever got from her has been fantastic!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2033196/

go go go!!

Please note that tipping is absolutely not required to get something! Please drop by or spread the word~ Thanks guys!

Barnes & Noble's had this giant amazing book on sale - 'Cyclopdia Anatomicae'

It's got a LOT of nifty things in it, I love so far :D

So I'm VERY happy on Ysera, where my main resides! But, does anyone haunt a good RP server? I've only ever done PVP, but I'm sort of.....IDK, I want to actually breath more life into my alts than just pixelated deaths :D

Anyone have any to suggest?

So I'm trying to plan out next year and be like.....IDK. Smart. And plan.

January Elaine's Birthday!
February Fiesta; will officially be my first con!!
March Kob's birthday!; want to plan a visit.
April Jassy Birthday!
May My birthday!
June AC! Plan to fly to Jas & Kob's a day or two early and drive with them, leave the following Monday or so.
July Gordon's birthday!!
August
September
October Jas & Kob come for TRF! -> ITS ON A CALENDER, NO GETTING OUT OF IT NOW :D
November Thanksgiving!
December Christmas time!


Please help me fill in the blanks! Also, anyone that wants or will be in the Texas area next year, let me know!! I'd love to see more people!


Silly note: I have friends who do not know the months of the year in order. I know them all in order, but to save my life I cannot spell January / February correctly without spell check. I don't know why I'm retarded.

Okay, precursor. Ryan is my d-bag ex. I stumbled across this on facebook.

Meagan hey princess lol its been so long since i called you that oh good times how you doin
September 25 at 11:45pm · Comment · LikeUnlike · View Feedback (5)Hide Feedback (5) · See Wall-to-Wall
o
Ryan Lol it had been awhile. I'm alright just workin. You?
September 26 at 12:58am · LikeUnlike
o
Meagan same were you working these days
September 26 at 8:00am · LikeUnlike
o
Ryan Still at sprouts.
Monday at 9:36pm · LikeUnlike
o
Meagan cool how is your gf? Its been forever that you guys have been dating
Monday at 9:40pm · LikeUnlike
o
Ryan Don't know, I'm single.


I lol'd. a lot.

Ever go to a friends page see something they recently favorited and giggle to yourself and go 'oh you dirty bitch?' XD XD

I love my friends :D

Faith has left the green planet; Gods and Goddesses of lore, the Olympians, have been driven out by a time and society of atheists and technology, where it is in fashion to believe in nothing. Leaving the spiritually desolate waste land of Earth, these Gods sought solstice and life in a new world, one where they may s...tart anew, weaving and building a world that is perfect and true, a world ruled by the beasts.

From this utopia, a new breed has emerged - blessed with the keenness of their fore-bearers and imbued with powers of the Olympians, these creatures brought with them a new world order. The Avari, children of God and wolf both, know themselves to be among the favored few in this new world, the true rulers of this new arcade.

Balance and understanding, strengths and weaknesses keep this haven free of war and strife, but such is the story of life, how long can the peace last?


Aevum

I've been thinking a lot, mostly at Tim's expense, about relationships and my own issues. I told him I wanted a relationship and someone to love but that I didn't trust anyone. I can't. I don't even like to be touched really and for me to accept any physical contact with anyone is a big deal. I do it for the ones closest to me, but I feel like a monster because there's a server at work and I *constantly* turn him down for silly things like high fives and handshakes. I just...I need a barrier. I need to give myself all the space and protection I can muster up because otherwise I'm going to lose it again. :/

It's disappointing every time that I think I've 'fixed' myself another problem pops up and I start back over. Eventually I'm going to run out of super glue to piece myself back together with. I sort of feel like that right now. After David's assault I made the physical barriers. With Ryan, I can't trust anything I'm told. It's like the world is out to get me when rationally I know that's simply not right. But why oh why can't I actually believe that?? Why do I assume the worst of everyone?

There are some people that I can be open with and that I trust. Tim keeps making me look at things in a different way and I know he's doing it for my own best but I get so frustrated mostly with myself. I keep using the same excuses and reasons for the ways that I think and follow it right with 'I know it's wrong / stupid / bad' if I sit here and recognize the errors in my behavior, why can't I fix them?

I also worry about dating....especially dating here. There's a large amount of potential but I simply refuse to get involved because I have no plans to stay here. I'm moving to the East Coast the moment that it is possible for me and I don't want to hurt someone that way. I lost Gordon to distance and I hate that fact. I still lament him because he was good and pure. He was my first in a lot of aspects, aside from actually giving him my virginity he had everything else that made me up first. I worry that when I leave, it's going to leave behind someone and that's unfair to them.

I consider sometimes trying to find a partner already in that area, but then...that's a long time to longingly stare at a computer screen or text or call and not get to see them and hold them. I've done it before and I could do it again, but do I want to? Not ideally. It's not something I'd ask of anyone either. 'Hey, how 'bout you pack your entire life up and leave your friends and family so I'll be with mine? :D :D :D ' no, that's cruel.

I'm just melancholy. I can't wait till June...but it's so damn far away and that kills me. What I wouldn't give to curl up downstairs with a blanket and some hot chocolate and just chill with a Mimi at my feet and my friends sitting next to me. I realize that the length between these trips makes them all the more meaningful and powerful, but I'm greedy and I want *now*.

It's also nine days from what would have been my wedding day and that also makes me grumbly. I'd like to pretend that this is the reason for my mood but I know the following week I'll be just as contemplative.

It's been five months since I broke up with Ryan.

Since then, I've been on this huge journey with myself.

I do honestly miss having a partner though, I miss having someone that I can work with, laugh with, play with....and of course after six years I'm missing the carnal aspect of a relationship. It's difficult for me to go so long without acting on my own needs, I sort of irritate myself with this too. :< I feel like sex shouldn't have any singular value to me, but it does, terribly so.

I'm so ready to be in a relationship again. I'm ready to be in love again. I'm ready to learn to trust again. It's going to take so long and I realize this but man, I'm ready.

I realized that the other day.

Life is back on track, things are going well, and I just want someone to share it with.

So my dad went and got himself a Droid X today. He asked me to ride along and I did so gladly. He ended up using my upgrade since he doesn't have one for another like....7 months. The X is what he went with because he needs it to generate a hotspot for him when he's on his business trips so he doesn't have to pay for his laptop's online abilities.

He tells the guy as he sets his Droid on the counter (got it right after my Baltimore trip, since Mom's phone died and it was 'buy one get one free' sort of deal) and says 'we're taking the upgrade for 9906 (my number) and using it so I can get a Droid X. I'm taking this Droid and it's going to be activated for the 9906 number.'

NO.
EFFING.
WAY.

So! To anyone who had my number, wants my number, needs my number, please send me a message!!

I've got some numbers, like Jass and Koby, but I need everyone else's!

So hit up my inbox!

Getting ready for my first bellydancing class! Will be just wearing simple yoga pants and a loose top.....we'll see how my wardrobe changes the more outgoing I get!

Hopefully I don't die tonight!


Also, watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR_K4we3gpY&feature=related. That's my teacher doing the Shot Glass trick!!

Because so many people build up relationships / friendships based on things that are good for them at the time. Friendships with artists who will draw for you, and then when they stop you stop talking to them. People who will give and give emotionally because you're lonely and hurting and the second you're happy again, forget them. It's not made of people who build real, true, lasting relationships. There are some genuine ones that I've made but unfortunately these are with people I knew first though roleplaying, and secondly found again in the Fandom. They've become my second family now, but what if we'd just passby one another in the fandom?

I just don't get it. I think I'm a nice enough person, I try to reach out and keep in contact and it's always me who steps out on the ledge. And why? For a person who's just going to drop kick me again when I'm not fashionable or in enough for them? I don't get it. People suck. I'm tired of getting hurt when it's completely unnecessary but for some stupid, retarded reason I try anyways.

And to think of all the 'what ifs' and 'once upon a times' that went along with half these people.

So a lot of folks PM me about my Salene art that my friend Zina did for me.

Well, she's finally got a portfolio up and online and is needing some money badly....so why not toss some money at her?

http://fatcat000000000.livejournal.com/85327.html



Copy pasta, in case it's a locked entry or something equally silly.

I'm taking commissions. I need money, very badly.

If you're interested you can check out my portfolio, here:
http://mrrple.daportfolio.com/gallery/271431#2

And these are my prices. I take paypal.
By Size ( by width; height varies)
200px $4.00
300-400px $8.00
+ $2.00 for detailed background
500-600px $13.00
+ $5.00 for detailed background
700-800px $18.00
+ $8.00 for detailed background
900-1000px $25.00
+ $10.00 for detailed background

+ extra for additional characters; varies

1. If your fursona had to be a primate, it'd be...
A lemur, I think they're adorable :D

2. If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be...
Well, that's what she pretty much is. But if I had to peg down one specific species I'd say a Borneo Clouded Leopard.

3. If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be...
A red wolf :3

4. If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be...
ZOMG, an Elk! I love antlers :D

5. If your fursona had to be a cetacean, it'd be...
Atlantic white-sided dolphin?

6. If your fursona had to be a mustelid, it'd be...
Hm, maybe a Pine marten. I think they're cute.

7. If your fursona had to be reptile, it'd be...
Chinese water Dragon

8. If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be...
Sugar Glider :3

9. If your fursona had to be a fully aquatic animal, it'd be...
errr. I dislike fishies. But I'd pick a variation of a Gourami.

10. If your fursona had to be an amphibian animal it'd be...
Blue arrow-poison frog

11. If your fursona had to be an avian/bird, it'd be...
A Pineapple Green Cheek Conure

12. If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be...
ehhh.. I don't like creepy crawlies. I'll pass!

13. If your fursona had to be a real or unreal hybrid, it'd be...
Well, she's already a hybrid of sorts. Feline body with a canine fluff tail. But I guess I'd pick a

14. If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be...
A sphinx

15. If your fursona had to be a Pokemon/Digimon, it'd be...
Vulpix :D

16. If your fursona had to be a vehicle, it'd be...
Lordie...probably one of those new Tauruses :D

Okay, so I don't know how many of you guys are aware of it but I've been with Ryan since I was 16. We were engaged, he called the wedding off because he's not ready, and now I'm approaching 22 years old and we have split up.

This is something I wanted ultimately because I knew that I deserved better than what he was ever willing to give me - I need emotional support beyond what he can offer.

The way that I found out things were through was from mutual friends. And I think this is what honestly hurts me the most. He told a friend we were done, and that friend in turn told all of our friends and they came and told me what was being said.

Since I cannot get a hold of him personally and get him to sit down like an adult with me, we had it out through text messages and half way through the conversation he swaps from being defensive to 'You deserve better' and 'I guess I'm not any good at relationships'


Im just at a loss. I wanted this break up, I knew I needed it, but there is still such a well of just anger and pain in me that almost scares me. I shouldn't be so broken up and I shouldn't be so angry but I am and I do not know how to let go. I just don't.

I hate turning to people but I've picked up my phone so many times to try talking to people that....by all rights I should not bother, and I guess I'm just looking for help. I don't honestly know at this point.

Five and a half years and it comes down to highschool esque gossip and a damn text message breakup. ugh.

I FINALLY FOUND MY PEN TO MY WACOM :D :D :D

I was wondering if anyone wanted to do some sketch trades with me?

Just so I can start getting back into the swing of things. Warning: they'll be rough at first!!

After much harassment, I finally got Zina to give a portfolio & Price list online.

So, here you go folks - GIVE HER MONIES.

http://mrrple.daportfolio.com/

I am just sort of...lonely.

Next year for sure I'll be coming to AC. This year is a little short notice because while I'll have more money from having some of my bills paid off, I'm still not out of the woods yet. It's getting better though.

But I miss talking to people. I need to make more friends lol, since I seem to have lost a great deal of the ones that I loved.

So people should hit me up on AIM sometime, it's my little answering machine so it's on all the time. Distant Vampire, or if you're on yahoo, Distantxvampire. MSN is distant.vampire@live.com.

Okay, Con question!

How many of you guys go to Furry Fiesta? Does anyone that I know attend?

I'm STUPID, because I *JUST* realized that it's a local event! Addison is 15 minutes from me!

I'm going to make it a point to go FOR SURE next year if any of my friends attend it...I know it's a ways away from most of you east coasters but man. I'm pretty bummed now!

Wow, it's been like....five and a half years. And I've pretty much hit that point where I honestly, truly, accept that Ryan doesn't care about me the way he used to. I'm not even angry, I don't even hurt....I don't know.

I think I've just accepted that I'm single again?

It's a weird feeling to have, but I don't think about him and get the butterflies in my stomach that I used to. I don't look at him and see him in my life wanting the same things I want.

And I think I'm okay with that. I'll be spiteful for a long while, and eventually I think we can have a good relationship because I truly do enjoy our friendship, but I think we're just too much for one another to handle. I certainly know that I'm too much for him anyways lol.

I'm looking for people who can properly depict my Avari, which are fantasy based wolf species.

If you have decent prices and are good with anatomy give me a shout! I'm trying not to pay more than 10-15 a piece because there are 5 total and it adds up pretty quickly!

References and descriptions will be provided, just note me!

Also, if you know someone who does good work without hurting the bank, link me to them!!!

Thanks guys :D <3