I'm just going to say it...
I really don't feel safe to post artwork here anymore. I mainly say this because, yes I've done a lot of base fills and I could upload them all with the commissions my GFs have gotten me, but at this point, I know people stalk my page on here, I know they're keeping tabs to just keep things going, but I'm done stressing and worrying that if I post something, just because of how I might word things, it could cause issues for others or cause problems for me.
So I'm just not going to post on here any more.
I tried to overcome this feeling before and move past it, but than I got solid proof on my feelings and I haven't been able to shake it over the last few months. Living situation didn't help and the family BS didn't either...so with that said and off my chest, I'll leave this here:

I'm beyond tired of certain things and the feelings it brings along with it.
I've been running on fumes and being burnt out for a good bit now, going off autopilot for so long.
I've been braking so much I'm not even sure who I truly am anymore.
I'm not prefect or anything of that sort.
I'll even admit it and say I'm not alright mentally and I've been showing more that's behind this mask, because me being a system isn't a sudden thing, or a new thing, I've just been selective on who I tell and I have my reasons for that.
...

I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm just done with some of the bullshit this site brings anymore and the feelings I'm stuck with afterwards. I did enjoy this site a few years ago, but anymore that joy is dead and just keeps getting beaten any time I try to fuel that flame. I have friends I share my art with in discord and I'm content with that anymore, I actually enjoy making my friends happy when I use their characters in a base...
I better stop now before this becomes a rambling mess and not understandable to anyone...

Peace out, and be safe out there everyone...this world isn't what we'd dreamed of as kids...it's a world full of hate and anger...so try and help each other out and lift each other up in this crazy time, and maybe we'll see each other on the other side

I'm sad in updating that it's gotten worse at my apartment and we are trying to leave as quickly as we can.
I am now begging and pleading, please spread this gofundme if you can't donate. If you don't like them, I do have a payapl, but please I'm begging for help
gofund.me/61baa356

My notes are open if you would like my PayPal, but please I'm in desperate need of help right now

I don't normally make posts like this, but this is an emergency.

My mother and I are just try to get our home back and back on our feet. Our landlord is pissed I even made this, but I had no other option...

https://gofund.me/61baa356
https://gofund.me/61baa356
https://gofund.me/61baa356

I made a gofundme, because the electric company wants $8,000 just to put our electric back after our fire two years ago.
Please, please, spread this or something.

I don't like begging, but I'm on my knees begging for help, help I desperately need

Hello fluff nuggets!

Please disregard the last two journals.

Let's start this over and start new.


Hello everyone,

I know it's been a bit I a lot has been going on. Things in my life and others.
So here's the run down, I've been working to get my health taken care of and things figured out. I've been working with my doctor on things and coming to the terms that my body can't do like before and I do have bad days with flare ups.

My amazing girlfriend has been helping me realize who is part of my "found family" and what roles they play.

Thanks to my found family, I've gotten a drive for artwork again, and yes, a lot of what I'll post is base edits or colors, but I enjoy doing them and finding some amazing ones that I can share with others.

I'm also trying my hand at digital art, currently my phone and hand with ibispaint as the program I use. If you want to know my brush, it's called "is this...pencil?".


That's the run down.
I've been working on my health in the background, and working on my art skills.

I also thank my found family for giving me the push to upload the artwork I've done, without yalls push, this artwork would've stayed buried in my phone forever.

Heyo!

So it's been a eventful year and it's only the first day of September.
I've grown more with the help my amazing girlfriend Soroshi and a very close and dear friend. I've opened up more and I'm happy again. Yeah I haven't posted anything as of late, mainly because I haven't had the motivation to draw or the extra funds to get artwork.
I've been slowly playing more games on Steam and opening up to talking more on discord.
We've been slowly working to rebuild after the fire last year, but it is going to take time and a lot of energy. One of the many steps forward has been my health. I've been working to get that back on track and better managed. I'm still having seizures and gurds issues, but now I'm able to start managing it better, slowly coming to terms with some of my conditions and what that means for me.

I'm getting better

HELLO FLUFF NUGGETS

I know it's been a bit, I've uploaded some art, showed off the artwork my found family has gotten me. I've also been attempting to heal mentally and physically, I've found out speaking with a few doctors that I'm dealing with something call, Autistic Burnout, along with other things, but I'm slowly getting better. I'm speaking with my girlfriend daily and slowly getting comfortable with talking to others again.

I'm in stable housing and mom and I've been working on the property when we can. I'm getting comfortable with drawing again, so you might see some uploads on here.

Yes I've seen the dumpster fire that's been taking place on here, if Yoshis get added to that "list" I won't be uploading anymore. That's all I'm saying on the subject.

I have a few conventions planned for this year, I'm going to attempt and take my suit Sasha to them this year, I've been modifying her suit to fit me and making arm sleeves for her.

Welp, there's the 6 month life update and to say I plan to keep uploading art as long as I can to this site.

So....I know its been a while and for that, I am sorry. But, in January, I woke up to my home of 26 years on fire and my mother and I, unable to stop it. Sadly since that day, we've moved around constantly, but finally have a safe place. When I lost my home, I lost everything I had worked had to have, including pets. As of right now, Sabre was the only one of our inside cats to live, because I carried him out that day. I've been trying to rebuild my life. I went through a nasty brake up not shortly after the fire, delt with my moms now Ex-boyfriend, threatening to kill me for the house burning, and other things.

I'm slowly trying my best to get better and get my life back on track, but its been hard.
I sadly lost maxwell to the fire, but in his place I have Sasha, a gift from a close friend on here.

I'm trying to get back into doing artwork, but its been hard.

I'm doing the best I can, with the cards I've been delt. But my head is still above water

I know it has been a while and I've just been posting artwork I've gotten, and I'm sorry for that.
The start of the year started with a shock to my world, and the year just seemed to follow it. I have seizures now due to stress and have a few other fun medical things going on now.
As you all can tell from the flood of recent art, I got with a new person and I'm so happy.
Kit has helped me come out of my shell and become more my true self, truly, and I could never put into words how much she means to me and how much she has impacted my life. I love spending my afternoons talking with her and hearing her voice. I've gotten to meet more people and express my self more and more thanks to her

So making this journal as a bit of an update.

This year has been a mess for everyone. As I'm writing this out over and over again. It is July 12th, I've just gotten back from my trip out to Wyoming to see the two people I love in my life. This is a journal I've been having a hard time writing because I honestly dont know when I will post this. But in March when everything here in New York shut down. I lost yet another job and I've been forced to stay in a home where there is constant fighting and arguing over stuff that there are facts to. I've honestly reached my limits on what I can handle before snapping. I attended a Black Lives Matter March and instantly became a terrorist to my fathers side of the family. I'm returning home to a full blown fight in my family because of how I have chosen to live my life.

Here I am adding more to this. I think I'll finally post this today. As I add to this it is now July 27th at 3:17am. The fighting here at the house hasn't gotten better. The fighting in the family has gotten worse, and I'm feeling I have no place to go. I constantly am threatened with homelessness if I dont shut my mouth and do as I'm ordered to do. And yes I just said ordered. I'm not asked to help out in the house with stuff, I'm ordered to do it all because I'm jobless and I cant get hired currently with how everything is around here. I have been losing sleep due to anxiety issues and continued mental brake downs. If I'm feeling better one of these days I'll post a few things I've got saved on my phone here and toss credit to the people I got the bases from, but as of right now. I'm not in a good frame of mind at all. I'm sorry

So I know it's been nearly a year since I uplated my Journal. So let's get everyone up to speed.
1. on July 24th 2019 my engagement with Midnight Rose Corgi was ended. We had been having major problems with her family accepting us as we were and they had at that point in time, told her entire church about our relationship. So I kindly gave her some space for a few days and she told me over a message on Facebook that we were done.
2. In October I had started working to sadly lose my job in December after working four 15 hour shifts back to back.
3. I have dived into building cosplay outfits more since the Summer and have learned a lot more than I knew.

Now that we are up to speed!

On March 20th - 22nd I will once again be attending Tora-Con in Rochester, NY. I'm looking forward to it again. I will get to see friends I really haven't seen in a year. I'm also currently in the process of hunting for a new job. While I've been hunting for a new job I've been attending doctors appointments and working on foam smithing. I've also gone back into my digital art roots and been messing around with that a lot more than I used to. But other than that I've been working on my cosplay outfits and trying to keep a level head the best I am able to.

But here is to the rest of the year and doing the best!

Well Life has been crazy.
I've had two hospital trips and one was just last night that led to emergency surgery to remove a cyst that if it had popped it would have been game over for me sadly.
In these last two hospital trips I realized my true friends and I'm glad to have them by my side in life.
OK off the sad stuff!
Next month (March) I'm going to be spending three days in Rochester NY for ToraCon 2019 and it will be great. I have so far Four! outfits planned for the weekend. It will be a blast and I can't wait for it to happen.
Last month (January ) I celebrated my 24th birthday with my close friends and had a blast.
Also last month I got a new sona as most of you have seen her. Her name is Chrome or Chro for short. She is my fave girl and I love her dearly. I've been using her as my icon on discord because of how much I like her. And don't worry, I'm not tossing Devin to the side. I love him because he is more to who I am. I have plans that once I get the money of getting a commission of me and Chro and Devin. Kinda a person and their sonas commission. I'm going to talk to a few friends and see how much that would cost me.
But for now I need to lay down more and rest up some more so everyone have a good rest of your day and stay warm.

Nice little Raffle going on

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28813439/

So This month is going to be crazy as fuck. This weekend (6TH-7TH) is Twin Tiers Comic Con. Next week is my Fiancé's birthday (14TH) and the weekend after that is my friends birthday (19th). than I have Wizarding weekend in Ithaca (26TH-28TH) and than I have Halloween!

On a side note you did read that right I asked my mate back in August if she would marry me and she said yes! So I'm still getting used to calling her my Fiancé and not my Girlfriend. On another note last month I attended RocCon in Rochester NY and had a blast. I will have to post the pictures that I took at the con for everyone to see. My friend that took me was dressed as Ardyn Izunia from FFXV and for T2C2 I'm going to be Noctis Lucis Caelum from the same game. I've been working hard on my cosplay since the last Con ended back on September 8th. and its been every weekend that I've been working with my friend on it and only stopping for food and when it got dark out. I've been working on the Sword of The Father for me to have is a prop for the Con. But as for now since it 2am for me I need to get off and get to bed so I can get some sleep and work on my cosplay more during the day and get as much done before I have a freak out and drop everything I have worked on for a while now. So good night everyone and thank you for reading this and have a good month of October.

So a update that I have for everyone.
So I've started playing World of Warcraft again and I'm happy. My mate and I have been doing great and I had a great time on my trip to WV. Got a good sunburn while there and had a lot of fun. As for now I'very been doing more of my work out and having a great time. Been getting ready for the Halloween season and local con in my area

So on May 2nd, my mate and I had our one year together and now I'm getting ready to go south to WV at the end of June and start of July. I will be gone for about a week or more while I spend time with a very good friend and get away from NY. The other news I have is that a few weeks ago a friend gave me a NextBook two in one laptop that is about the size or a large tablet and I have gotten it all set up for my trip and I'm getting used to using it each day. I'm also happy to say that I have gotten to my goal of 200LBS this year and now I've been working to bulk up and get stronger. I've been put on anti-depression medication to help my everyday life. I've been streaming over on twitch when I can and I will let you know now that when I go south I will be doing my first VR stream while with my friend and I will be doing a few other streams. As for right now I've been working with m mate to get her used to her new house she moved into and working with a friend to help him with his room and get it fixed up. I really can't wait for my trip south and I have a feeling when the day comes I won't be able to sleep the night before and I will be nerves as shit because I haven't been south in four years since I was on my senior trip in high school. Other than all of that I've been drawing more and plan to get pictures of my work and get it uploaded for everyone to see it. for now thank you for sitting here and reading my rambling mess that is this journal, Keep on howling

hello!

A bit of an update for everyone. I've been going through a lot as of now since January. But I'm on anxiety medication now and oh boy does it have side effects. On other notes thanks to a great friend of mine I've been able to order two chest binders that should be here in a few weeks. I had ordered one and it sadly came in the wrong size so I'm waiting for the return money from amazon so I can order the two binders. I've also started helping a friend with streaming overlays and helping them get into streaming on their PC. I've also been working out and lost more wight to get close to my goal. I'm 15lbs away now. I'm so happy with my self. In the mental department like I said I've finally gotten on anxiety medication and it is helping. Since January I've had bad attacks what feels like each day and it scared a clinic I go to into thinking I was having a heart attack. I'm some what stable and I've got a good social circle of people who have been helping me each day. I've been playing minecraft with a group of people and that is helping as well because that gives my mind something to run on for thinking. Other than that Rose and I are coming up on our one year anniversary here soon and she has delt with so much that has been going on. I don't know what I ever did to ask for someone like her to walk beside me in my life and I'm glad I have her. Plans are still in effect for me to leave NY in June/July to go and see a friend and spend a week with them. I'm looking forward to that day. I also plan on getting back into drawing more to give me something to do when I have free time so I'm not going insane with nothing to do. A lot ha's happened since the start of the new year and most of it has been good and some of it has been crazy and I've been doing my best not to snap and throw it all away and mess it all up like I have done in the past.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you are having a good day/week and it keeps going good for you. Have a great night since that's what it is when I'm writing this out and remember to keep on howling!

So yesterday was my birthday. And I'm going to be blunt. It could have been my last. Last night while a friend and I rove my girlfriend home we came to a stop light and on the other side a driver didn't have his lights on and the car behind him got next to him with his lights on. Both really night cars. My friend almost flashed his lights at the guy to turn his on. Here's where it get scary. There is a gang by the name of the Bloods and if someone does flash their lights the person with their lights off has to follow that car and when they stop they have to kill everyone in the car. I realized what was going on and froze. My friend realized as well. Here I am 24 hours later almost and I'm still shaking from the fact. It didn't fully hit me till tonight and I broke down crying once I got home because I realized that I almost didn't make it home and it would have hurt a lot of people. I'm sorry for the ramble. I just shaking and a bit scared of others in the area that could fall for it. So please people be careful at night.

Hey!

Can you all please go and help out a dear friend of mine? Please.
could really use your help. They are having issues with money and need help with getting money to help pay bills and help their family. They made a Journal explaining everything that is going on at this time.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8597150/

Pleas go and see if you can help them. They are the one I get most of my art work from and they do a great job.
Examples of their work that I've gotten:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26081887/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25162372/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23163467/

Please help them out if you can.

Another year older and as a friend said to me around 1am today. I leveled up. 23 today and have plans with my mate and friends. It's going to be fun and I'm going to enjoy my day. Hope everyone has a good day

To everyone out there. I'd like to say happy New Year. 2018 is going to be hard for most of us. I know I go into it getting to do recunstuction work on my knee and working hard to get stuff done with my family and my girlfriend. My birthday is in the first month and my anniversary with my mate is in May. I also go into 2018 with a possibility of going back to college if my local college gives me what I need. In July I'll be going out of New York for a week to spend it with a friend and in the new year I'll be getting into dressing more my gender I feel. 2018 is a new chapter in my life where I'm going to be working to understand my body more and come to terms with the fact that I am not able to transition to my wanted and felt gender. I have a lot of support behind me helping me with it each day and I've got people I can talk to about it as well. So let's go into 2018 with good thoughts and get stuff done. My big goal for 2018 is to lose about 50 pounds by June or July and maybe get it back in muscle. Since that's the way my body has it happening with me each day.


I'm ready 2018. Let's do this!

To everyone that watches me. Happy holidays and merry Christmas and happy new year. I know a lot has happened this year. But the year is almost over and 2018 is around the corner. I hope you all have a good Christmas day and are happy and safe.


2018 here we come

Guys please go over to and help them!

Here is their journal with a update and what is going on for them.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8540294/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8540294/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8540294/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8540294/

Please help them out.

Hey guys.
I'm asking you all to please go over to  U-B-Productions and please commission them. They really could use the money right now due to a medical emergency in the family. Right now to the end of the month they are doing a sale on their art for the winter. Trust me, I'm going to be talking with my mate about it tonight so we can send some money at them to help out. Please try to help out the best you can. Thank you

Hello,

So the end of November wad kinda alright, sadly near the end my AUSU laptop that I was doing a lot of my base coloring and graphics work on figured it was a good idea to just kick the bucket nearly. My hard drive went in it. To top that all off I've been forced by EVERYONE in my family to go back to college and it all ONLINE! Now what scares me the most is flunking out like I did at my local college and upsetting everyone yet again. Classes don't start till January 8th, but I'm still scared as fuck. I just pray that I don't screw this up big time. It's only 2 years and I'll get a dagree under my belt. Who know, with it all being online I might actually do good this time.
Now onto a bit of a medical update: my insurance sadly will not get back to me about an MRI or surgery for my knee. What upsets me about that the most is the simple 4 steps of stairs that I need to walk up to get into my own house feel like I'm walking up 20 steps. I'm bracing my self against the wall way to much now when I walk around a house anymore and sitting in a car even hurts. I'm really not liking this anymore and I'm in a knee brace 24/7 nearly. I broke down crying today because a friend asked me to help them get stuff up into the apartment and just a small basket with clothes and I felt my knee just want to give out. I feel useless even with a brace on. I'm going to call my doctor on Monday and inform her that it's only getting worse to the point of me not being able to do much at all anymore yet again. As of right now I'm laying on a couch in an apartment on the second floor and the last time I looked at my knee was a bad shade of purple.

Sorry for the bad stuff. If I fully went into everything that was going on, well this would be all depressing stuff.

Hello everyone.

A little thing I've seen others do for artists they like and love that persons work. So I'm doing it here and now.

is more than just a great friend and a member of my pack (Close friends), Thanks the them Devin was able to fully come to life as he is now. Most of you don't know this but Devin had been in my head for years and with the amazing art work Burr has done Devin became real.
Please go give them a commission and have a look at their art work. Their prices are great and if you need help getting your character worked out they will help you. Trust me Devin started out as a normal light gray and white wolf and now he is amazing and really represents me as he should. They also have a patron with great rewards for pledging to them.
So please go visit their page and have a look at their price guild. I know my mate and I will be going over it again in the next week to get another commission done from them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for looking into