Well why not, I'm just clearing things out, I feel stifled. Like I'm sitting in stagnation. So I'll just cut to the point and...

 Rawringpanda

I've moved here and starting anew.

I've got nothing really my heads a vast empty plain of darkness. Only littered with the debris leftover thoughts that were never continued. I have a new scanner but it seems my mind has left me. Things here are tough but not. I just feel like I'm sinking, ya know? Into some sort of slump, its hard to look at my art nowadays. I feel that I could do better. But I lack the skills to achieve what I want. I still need to do what I need to get done. And I'll try my best for those of you who I still owe art to. Just be a lil more patient. Just like you I have a life outside of my computer, and unfortunately its more important then you... Sorry, but I'm sure you feel the same.

It seems that my scanner, after many many submissions has finally given way to death.... kinda. It no longer scans pictures properly in the since that my drawings would look like burnt feces if I put it up. It seems, due to... circumstances it died a premature death, but until I acquire a new one I will no longer be submitting any work. But then again that was obvious. So no traditional art for some time, hopefully I can talk my brother into getting me one soon. Until then, I'm sorry for those loyal few who have stayed by my side. I'll make it up to you guys when I can.

Boy, just looking at what I've been posting recently is making me feel ill. I haven't put up anything worth while in a good long while. And for those who like my art. I know that the stuff I've put up isn't all bad. Its just the fact that I need to put up some good art. I mean really, all this recent stuff is either incomplete or doodles.

Mind you my schedule of late has been this.

1:30pm - 2:30pm - 3:00pm - 4:30, then friends ambush me at school. last week or so

This week its been 1:30pm - 2:30pm - 5:30pm - 8:30pm

Now this is all for drama, and my premiere performance was last night and it went very well, my parents are coming to see the one tonight though so I'm really trying to work hard because its the first time my Father is going to be there and I don't want to flop in front of him, even though I don't have much respect for him, I don't know I just don't want to mess up with him there.

So this is my big excuse for crappy drawings and no art, I'm sorry guys, I'll make it up to you all when I can.

Okay today I'm going to be going out so I thought I might let all ya know. And for those who wish to know. I think your nosy. Unless your my Prince in which case I understand. I'm going to be heading out with a friend to be drawing porn while eating pizza in a Pizza my Heart. Although its funny when the waiters/waitresses try and sneak a peek. But yes, I'll also try to get some work done there too, requests and commissions given to me through gaia, yim, and etc... Hope you guys have a great day. Have fun without me. And I'll be thinking of you Prince, the entire time. ((Has the song Thinking of you by ATC going in my head))

[KEY]:
(+++) Fuck yeah ^w^.
(++) AWESOME. ^_^
(+) Yus. ^.^
(~) Indifferent/undecided O_O
(-) Not really. T_T
(--) Urgh. ¬_¬
(---) For fuck sake that shit is nasty. >_<
(?) Never seen. @_@

Anal on Males (+++)
Anal on Females (--)
Breasts (----)
Breast Expansion (---)
Weight Gain (--)
Bondage (++)
Clothing (+)
Leather (++)
Stockings (~)
Shoe/Boots (~)
Suit and Tie (+)
Muscle, Male (+++)
Muscle, Female (---)
Herm (-)
Cub (+)
Baby/Diaper (~)
Transformation (~)
Macro/Micro (---)
Impregnation (-)
Pregnancy (-)
Lactation (--)
Anal Vore (---)
Soul Vore (---)
Cock Vore (-)
Standard Soft Vore (+)
Standard Hard Vore (-)
Paw/Foot (~)
Incest (++)
Yuri (F/F) (---)
Yaoi (M/M) (+++)
Hetero (M/F) (-)
Bi (~)
Girly Boys (~)
Butch Girls (----)
Mind Control (+)
Rape (+)
Uniform (+++)
Orgy (++)
Subbing/Doming (++)
Biting (+)
Cheesecake (?)
Solo Masturbation; Male (+)
Solo Masturbation; Female (---)
Scat (----)
Inflation (---)
Fat/Pudge (+)
Tech (--)
Watersports (~)
Glasses (++)
Tentacles (~)
Oviposition (---)
Masochism (~)
Sadism (~)
Multiple body parts (--)
Partial Nudity (++)
Gore/guro (--)
Snuff (--)
Hyper (----)
Zoophilia (-)
Electricity (---)
She-males (---)
Cross-dressing (++)
Skunk spray (---)
Oral (+++)
Asphyxiation (---)
Wet-look (++)
Mud/Quicksand etc (+)
Sinking (---)
Spooge (+++)
Body Paint (+) (As in markings/tribal?)
Plants (---)
Tickling (~)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some of these are subject to change due to mood and such lol.

Okay, so I'm thinking of drawing more 'sophisticated nudity'..... Okay Yeah I know you guys are thinking, he means guy on guy uber butt sex's gayness. And you be right, I do tend to have more fun drawing that. I just wanted to know what you guys would think, I mean for all those who would call me disgusting can go shove off. But your opinions and what you say really do affect me. Soooo, getting to the point. Whats your take on me drawing more naughty things?

I feel as though I am made of epic fail and lose right now...


Good Night.

Dear:  Malwulf

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it When I threw up Outside of Chicago and I saw you Sit on The crazy monk. I'm sure you're Scarred enough to understand That I did a sex-change. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keep Your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about Our friendship.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
-Dominick-

Dear:(the last person who left a comment on your journal:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ____1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Commenting on this journal will cause me to:

a) tell you how I know you
b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) tell you my favorite pic of yours,
g) in return, you must post this in your journal.

Stolen from  Seiokou And  Maxi-bun

Are you male or female?
Sleeping Valcano By RO For those who dont' know its Ragnarock Online.

Describe yourself!
Alpen Rose /Oooh sounds pretty lol/

What do people feel when they're around you?
Big guys Love this By RO /lol wut? Nice.../

Describe your current relationship.
Kiwi By Maroon 5 /Oh my.../

Where would you like to be now?
Adios By RO /lol/

How do you feel about love?
Labyrinth by RO /God this is so true./

What's your life like?
Jumping Dragon By RO /Heh?/

What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Travel by RO /Ha, thats on the money./

Say something wise.
Kiro TV By Sneaker Pimps /Oh you said wise? lol/

If someone says "Is this okay?" You say,
Good Night By RO

How would you describe yourself?
Won't go home without you By Maroon 5 /Desperate? lol/


What do you look for in a guy/girl?
Vampire By Janne Da Arc /I like werewolves better lol/

How do you feel today?
White Christmas By RO /~cough... cough~ Yeeeaaah./

What is your life's purpose?
She will be loved By Maroon 5 /No comment/

What is your motto?
Waterside Creatures By Lisa-Rec.Net

What do your friends think of you?
Emergency Occurrence By Promised Dawn /I can be quite troublesome lol/

What do you think of your parents?
Ethical Aspiration By RO /Yeah, something I hope for them to aspire too.../

What do you think about very often?
Naive Rave By RO /Niiice/

What is 2 + 2?
True By Dragon Drive.

What do you think of your best friend?
Mischievous Fox Child's Reckless Run By Lisa-Rec.Net

What do you think of the person you like?
Nothing Lasts Forever By Maroon 5 /~nods... nods~

What is your life story?
Fight! Our Mecha-Hisui By Type-Moon

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Thai Orchid By RO

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Streamside By RO /Yush, such a peaceful calm beautiful song/

What will you dance to at your wedding?
If I never see your face again By Maroon 5 /lol, this makes me feel sad./

What will they play at your funeral?
Mucho Gusto By RO /lol, okay then.../

What is your hobby/interest?
Antique Cowboy By RO /Yush, older male cowboys are da smex./

What is your biggest fear?
Rag All night Long By RO /No Comment/

What is your biggest secret?
Back at One By Bryan McKnight /lol wut?/

What do you think of your friends?
Not so far away By RO /Awesome/

What will you post this as?
2004 Happy Hardcore Classics Mix By DJ Ravin

Yush, you know you want to do this, just for the heck of it.

1. Guys and/or Girls?
Guys
2. What turns you on, fur-wise and real life?
Being held close/Holding another close as we whisper loving and passionate words from our hearts to each other..../<.< I'm being totally serious./
3. Dominant, Submissive, or Switch?
I've been dominate for quite some time, I wish someone could take the reigns from me. But none so far. So... I act Dom, want to be Sub, so I guess I'm switch? lol
4. Do I make you randy, baby? If not, what revs your engine?
Sometimes a good fight, weird I know. But a cocky attitude with the will and strength to back it up is sexy.
5. What are you most likely:
The Romantic
6. You like fore-play, or just get straight to it?
Foreplay is most lovable.
7. What's your #1 thing to do before sex?
Fondling, Cuddling, Kissing, Licking, and all sorts of good 'clean' fun.
8. Do you do it clothed, or butt-naked?
Depends on the occasion.
9. Are you a screamer, or a master of the art of ninja sex?
I let out some light moans, and try not to go crazy. lol
10. Where would you want to have sex at?
I've always wanted to do it pool.
11. What's your favorite position?
Standing, the sub most likey bracing himself against something.
12. Any kind of fetishes at all?
Well, you'll have to get to know me first. ~wink~
13. Would you do me?
Well we really don't eachother so I don't think so lol.
14. Would you let me do you?
I'd most likely faint, so I'm not sure how you'd go about it lol.
15. I am an attention whore. Would you post this journal, to see what I say to you?
I'd feel really embarrassed if I did. I might.


1. Guys and/or Girls?
2. What turns you on, fur-wise and real life?
3. Dominant, Submissive, or Switch?
4. Do I make you randy, baby? If not, what revs your engine? (i.e. a long workout, or some kind of smell/taste)
5. What are you most likely: The Romantic, The Pervert, The Whore
6. You like fore-play, or just get straight to it?
7. What's your #1 thing to do before sex?
8. Do you do it clothed, or butt-naked?
9. Are you a screamer, or a master of the art of ninja sex?
10. Where would you want to have sex at? (excluding the bed)
11. What's your favorite position?
12. Any kind of fetishes at all?
13. Would you do me?
14. Would you let me do you?
15. I am an attention whore. Would you post this journal, to see what I say to you?


Stolen from  Malwulf

~Warning~
This Journal includes;
-Bitching
-Complaining
-Emo-ness
-Lots o Drama

Okay I need to get something off my chest... So you've read the warnings, so please don't tell me to get over it. This is how I'm doing it.

A 'Man'. Whats it mean to you, and what do you think of? I personally, I never really knew what one was. I thought it was just an older guy. But then I started to read books and watch tv. A Man is someone who protects their family, he's strict, yet caring, loving, yet fatherly. A man is an ideal figure that doesn't exist in my life.

My father... /This is where DRAMA-BITCHING-Complaining come in/ He has diabetes, used to be a heavy drinker, still drinks though.
I remember when I was smaller I used to live on a farm, my dad would drink a push my mom around, I'd always be too scared since I was so young, to stand up. I can remember two events clearly in my mind. When he was in the kitchen with my mom, he pushed her into the corner and knocked to her down while he verbally and physically abused her.... I was in the front door that led into the large breeze way. I yelled at my dad. "Stop hitting mom!" I shouted. "What did you say?!" Next thing I knew I was sent flying back, off the two step stairs to the entrance to find myself laying on my back on the stone floor. I didn't know it back then, but I was being a man way back then. I also remember one moment he was drinking I was on my hands and knees cleaning up the mess he had made. A beer bottle was mere inches away from striking my head. Thats when I felt true fear of physical injury.

Over the years he's had seizures and my mom has saved him by giving him sugar and calling the ambulance. Every morning she wakes up to fix my dads breakfast and make his shot and make his lunch and find his clothes and get him ready for work. He can't wake up on his own. I admit I don't make her life any better, but such is the life of a once teenage boy. My mother had only recently bought a car, a way to get to point A to point B. Yet he yells at her telling her to tell him where she can and can't go. He has the 'right' to take away her keys. Even today... My Mother took my brother somewhere, he was shouting on the phone while I was in the living room when he told her. "Bitch if you don't come home in fifteen minutes, I'll be waiting outside with a bat!" A man would be waiting in the front yard with a baseball bat for his wife.... If the threat of physical injury wasn't enough, he shattered my Mothers Vase. it was her mother, and her mothers mothers. It was an heirloom that she cherished and he threw it against the fridge. Everyday seems to be like a living hell with him, I have constant thoughts of his death. He makes me feel so sick, I could just back into a corner and disappear. God only knows whats going on with my Mom, this is my role model, calls woman-bitches, Africans-Niggers. And not even five minutes after breaking my moms vase he called his friends to come over, and boy did his attitude change...

Really, I will do all I can to be a better Man then him... Can he even be called a man?

I'm sorry for those who didn't pay attention to my warning. You should have known better.

Yush I have a tablet now. A medium sized Bamboo Fun. Jeez I just got it and its giving me a headache. I hope I can get this down, I personally hope this will actually increase my drawing skills. Not that it will in such a way, just open my options a little more, heh been working this traditional for so long, digital seems like fun. Although I know its a long pain staking road to become good with a tablet.

Any tips, hints on how to make my journey into digital art a bit more smooth? Any would be most appreciated.

Taken from:  danthebear
http://www.furaffinity.net/journals/danthebear/

Take the letters from your name and put them together accordingly -

A : Easy to fall in love with.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : one in a million.
E : Great in bed.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You are Quirky.
I : Great in bed.
J : People Adore you
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Unbelievably great in bed.
M : best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O : Crazy
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
S : You love to drink
R : Fucking crazy.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgmental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
Z : Always ready.

___________________________________________________

M : best kisser ever.
I : Great in bed.
C : You are really silly.
H : You are Quirky.
A : Easy to fall in love with.
E : Great in bed.
L : Unbelievably great in bed.

Really I am, but not to the extent of what some jerks might call emo. Just feeling like crap since I can't find a scanner to use. Even if I could, most of my stuff would end up in the scraps. But it'd be better then having the messed up doodle. You know the drawings where you had an idea, then you just... trailed off. Well thats how it ended up lol. I still like it thought, wouldn't have posted it if I didn't. But the major problem I have is finishing my work.... that and eyes... hands, feet, facial expressions. Hehehe, I'll practice as much as I can, I have to thank Taoren for posting the How to Draw in his his journal. I downloaded some of it and found it quite useful. >.> Although I will try and continue to progress. I guess the only reason I really wanted to make this post was so that I could get it off my chest. I know I could write it and delete it but, I'd feel like it was just a waste of time. Hmm... I wonder who'll read this? I wonder if they'll care? Eh, I'd be glad if you made it half way through lol. But really I'll get some work up for all you to critique. Hope to post something with substance!