I need a couple people to volunteer there characters for some Practice with writing with zombies. :D

I need around 4-5.

Any takers?

I jsut spend 2 hours calling people to drop out and find out what my balance is to find out I've already dropped out and I don't owe them anything...


THEN STOP SENDING ME LETTERS SAYING i OWE YOU FUCKING MONEY!!!

>:( My angry face couldn't be angeir!

Wow....


Thats all I can say.... "Wow.."

So good it made me cry..

Im done with the ignorance here... I want to move away..

Any Takers? XD

It's also a Copy Machine and a Fax Machine, but thats besides the point :D

Yay!!!

I got some extra Ink too, I got it for the boardgame and other projects, to help speed things up.. and I may or may not Get back into drawing a bit too. :3

I just feel like I should apologize to everyone, I feel like I'm tough to be around because of both my crazy ass bitch attitude and the hurt I still feel day-to-day, and yes... I know I can very VERY Dramatic and Emotional...


But to those that stick around and want to talk to me...

I love you..

I realize I don't show enough apprecreation for you guys.. seriously.. I love you guys.. You are so patient with me.. All my life I've dedicated to make myself a 'better person' but within this past week... I've realized I should aim to be a HAPPIER person.. instead of BETTER.

Me trying to be BETTER is just a defense mechanism that doesn't bring me any joy..

You do... :3

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/16.....s-coming.jhtml


omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!

I saw season 1 and season 2, I can't find anything about a Season 3 so Im assuming its over, which sucks because it was open ended.

School rumble is an anime about a love triangle that escaltes into a Love hexagon X 5!!!! It is so funny, interesting and fresh! I loved all the characters they were all so deep and non-cliche. I'd recommend it to anyone...

I don't want to give away anything, just watch it for yourself

Link: Season 1
http://www.youtube.com/show?p=83H-KhQ310Y&tracker=show_av

Season 2
http://www.youtube.com/show?p=ONzCvJfudLk&tracker=show_av

MY LAPTOP WORKS AGAIN, ITS ALIVE!!! ITS ALIVE!!!!!

mauahahahahahhahahhahahaha


Now I can work on the boardgame properly again ;..;

So I decided to stay on the net and stay connected... and I'm dropping my whole consiracy shit thing... why? Because I want to be happy... and its none of your business anyway :D

----

I got promoted at work from utility to Dairy. The owner of the store personally asked me on my break and said I would have a 40-hour week every week garunteed!! Which I will need if I get that condo!!! I really hope I get it..

The only thing against me is no renting credit but my grandma lives in a condo there and so do my parents! so they know I'm good... I also got the 1,000 I need to move in n' stuff...

I think my own personal space would be good for me right now anyway, I still got my BFF selling me a car and since we are totally awesome I wont have to stress over car payments.

Over-n-out.

I'm going to try and write and submit weekly short stories, and poems... Sorry nothing Sexual for awhile... IDK maybe.. but I honestly don't feel like it.. If there is any sex in it it's not going to be meant for people to get off on... More like a way to express moods or some poetic shit.. I dunno I'm tired...

Its called "Broken Boys/Mending Men" and its written by Stephen D. Grubman-Black.

It's about Recovering from Childhood Male on Male Sexual abuse; which as some of you know I am a Victim of. This is the first time in my life I have read anything like this or done anything. Now before any of you start thinking "Well Why didn't you seek help sooner?"

Its one of the many things that can happen to a Victim is to only rely on yourself and put so much responsibility on yourself to get better, I wish I had read this book so much sooner in life.. I've only read half of it and I feel 2000% more comfortable with myself and confident with my place and personality. It told me to write down how I feel or tell someone how I feel so I decided to that right here and right now and It prolly won't be the last time I do this.

All my life ever since it happened I've felt ashamed of myself, confused and sacred and lacking whatever anyone else had, weak and dissapointing to everyone.. I finally know why... and it isn't my fault, when I was eight years old I had just moved to Fort Monroe, a Military Base right by Virginia Beach, All the neighbourhood kids were friendly I don't remember much else around that time now except playing war, climbing tree's and playing at the beach right outside of the Military housing...

I can see now the point of change in my attitude and behavior from before and after the sick fuck did what he did to me... He called it "The Nasty Game" and said that if I told anyone I would lose. He would take me to many places for over a year, by the beach, behind a dumpster, to his room; and take off his and my clothes. He would make me do things to pleasure him, he was around 13 years old and my was one time where I think his older brother was involved who was around 15-19 years old I THINK, at the time. But my memory is so foggy, All I remember is fear, anxiety of being caught, shame and people looking at me.

Even now as I am typing this I feel the pain, the anxiousness, its all coming back to me.. But I'm strong now, Im still afraid, but I'm brave now.. Too brave, too strong... yet still incredabley afraid...

Half the people I don't call or text in my contacts list because I'm afraid to be let down or let them down in someway. Personal connections with people hurt, they actually hurt me, the closer I get to people the more they hurt me. The father they are the more they hurt... I feel if I keep everyone at a safe distance and keep them interested in me like an aquitence and not a 'friend' that I can co-exist with people in a way..


I wish I was masculine, Everything I do is to look or seem tough, being strong is all I want but I'm to scared of success to put much effort into it.. All I can really do to be tough is to take punch after punch and come back for more... I'd like to see someone take more abuse then me.. I wear my own blood like a trophy, I'm still standing, still breathing... I win mother fucker....


Everything I do is because of this one person who took advantage of my innocence... it was something I couldn't defend myself from and couldn't fight against... So why do I feel so guilty? Why do I still act out sexually?


Speaking of sex, lets talk about my LEAST FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD!


S-E-X, Its this wierd, complex, fun thing that people do for so many reasons... I don't really know why I do it. I don't like it.. I don't like taking it up the ass, I don't like my dick being sucked, I don't like sucking vag or Dick I don't want to fuck someone in the ass or vag...

So why? why do I want it? I can't allow myself to cum because then people would know that I enjoy it, Everytime I'm with someone in real life I feel so ashamed and paniced... "Oh my god your having sex!!!" "What are you doing?!?!?" "Stop... Stop.... Stop..." "Is it over yet?... I hope so.." "I'm never doing this again..."

Are my thoughts during sex... I just wish I could lie down with someone one night and have NO sexual acts between us.. just lie there and hug each other and love one another... But I get so uncomfortable and restless and I end up initiating sex half the time...

I use to think of myself as a Disgusting vile person until 2 days ago... I'm not a bad person, I'm not disgusting or evil... I'm just Broken, a victim who hasn't recovered yet...

"Recovery" What does that mean for me? What do I have to do?

This book has been helping me get out of depression and I think I've found new fire to light my passions for writing and living..

The Book I've been writing Halfbreed... I was writing it to help other people how I thought people would/could be helped... But now after reading this.. I can see it was just my inner thoughts taking a physical form... Amancio was me complete with my fears of connecting with others, Carmen was tough exterior when being threatened and not wanting to be in physical contact with others, Makari; my lust for power and controling everything around me...


I'm going to write for myself, for my own self-recovery... I'm taking my life back, Now...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6243889/

Now which one am I?????

A condo is for rent in the same little complex here it's 1 bed, 1 bath and 500 a month.. and its right by my work!! :D

I am SICK TO DEATH of living with my over grown child of a dad and his 4 dogs that shit and piss all over the place.

I can't wait to have my own quiet zone where nobody can bother me.

So remember awhile back when I posted a youtube video about the college bubble and the america economy turning to shit? Yeah... everything they said would happen... happened this morning... and now a unstoppable domino effect is taking place that will turn our country inside out... Poverty like you've NEVER IMAGINED!!

....

I've currently thinking about leaving the internet all together, I want to, to save money and to work more on my projects.... But...

I need the internet to stay plugged into the world, the REAL world to how people ACTUALLY think...

This is going to be the first real time I'm going to voice this... It's my own personal belief that the governement(or some kind of organization.) is running the world and manipulating us into doing whatever they want. I really don't want to get into it, because it makes me uncomfortable... But to me and my beliefs, I think that the internet is the greatest weapon we have against them.. and if I disconnect myself from it.. I don't know if it would be a good thing or a bad thing...


If I do disconnect from the Internet I'm going to give notes and ask anyone WHO I WANT TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH for there phone number or some other possible means of communication... anything.. in this time, its important to reach out to everyone...


I understand that now, I've been trying to avoid people, but I can't do that it's not healthy; I need to learn to love people and want to be around them. Life is to short to be hunched over a desk and typing away at a keyboard looking up video's, porn, and learning about the world rather then expericning it....

I just hope everyone can respect the choice I make, no matter what it is..

For some reason my Yahoo IM isn't working.. It just keeps saying it cant log me in.

DID YOU KNOW ITS SHARK WEEK!?!?!?!!


I've only been told about 900 times so I figure why not remind everyone else one more time that there will more then likely be a tsunami of Shark Porn coming our way.

Its a small questionare I did to try and bring more characteristics out of possible characters for the Zombie Book I wanna do, I listened to music from the old Dawn of the Dead (1978) and 28 days later and watching some Zombie movie tribute vid's on youtube.

I liked it so much I thought I'd share it with you and see if some of you wanna fill it out. Some of these questions might really make you stop and think and hey your awnsers might give me some insiration! :D


Questionaire:
1. What do you think will hold you back as a survivor in the outbreak?

2. What is your best quality as a person?

3. Do you look forward to a Zombie Outbreak? Explain.

4. What do you want to see in a perfect leader?

5. What does Teamwork mean to you?

6. Whats your favorite food? Why?

7. What is your definition of "Surviving" and why?

8. What would make you give up all hope in yourself?

9. Whats the best way for you to trust someone really fast?

10. If you had to fight for something, what would it be?

11. Whats the most defining moment in your past that best explains who you are today?

12. Who's your Hero in life?

13. What would have to happen to make you go absolutely insane?

14. Book Smarts? or Street Smarts? Explain.

15. How would you perfer to die? Why?

16. How do you see yourself in 5 years?

17. Would you consider yourself a risk taker? Explain.

18. Do we need a governmental system? Explain.

19. Does Religon play a major role into your life? How does it effect your daily routine?

20. Do you consider yourself a loner? Why?

21. Out of everyone you currently know, who would be the hardest to kill after they turned into a zombie?

and it was fun and cool. Until... we got to the presents....

There is so much shit you need to buy just to START this little adventure, I horribley underestimated this... I mean she had gotten at least 400 bucks worth of shit and she needed more still o..o


I think I'll push back when I want kids another year or two... LOL.

(If you take this message seriously, I'll kill you.)

So I've decided to make a furry trading card battle game and I'm throwing around ideas in my head, I won't say anything however feel free to speak your mind on the subject. Ideas? Disagree? Horny?

There are multiple sides to a person, this is true. Even with me, I realized today. I need to explore each and every bit of these sides to explore what I'm capable of... and I think because of this I will most likely gain multiple Fursona's and even some persona's...

Just doing some thinking out loud on here, maybe this will help others too on here.

I mean when I want to try and understand someone I don't know... i think this...

"They are a person like me, They've had good times and bad times.. why should I be mad at them? I'll forget what they did soon anyway."

I need to comission someone to draw two Krogan Characters...

Krogans are this:

http://masseffected.pbworks.com/f/1.....3115039155.jpg
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/m.....5/59/Okeer.png
http://www.mobygames.com/images/sho.....especially.jpg

If your up to the challenge then I'm up to pay.