I know it’s been awhile, but I’m mainly on Twitter and other platforms these days.

I want to address something that has been bothering me for awhile: I have taken down several stories due to them having content in them that I was not comfortable with. And on that note, I have the right to refuse to write or draw something if I feel uncomfortable. I have it in my TOS for a reason. Forcing me to do something I do not want to do will NOT be tolerated. I am willing to negotiate terms, but demanding that I submit entirely is a good way to get ignored.

On the subject of stories, I have closed down my requests and trades indefinitely to outside parties. I just do not have the time these days. Furthermore, it promotes a self-hating philosophy of “my hard work means nothing” that I would frankly like to move on from. This is NOT to say that I will stop writing and drawing entirely. I need to figure out what I am doing with that first.

Have a nice day.

Heeeeey peoples! So I’m still here just not as much unfortunately. I have had quite a lot happening to me so it's hard to keep putting out journals for everything. If you want near daily updates, check out my Twitter /@WhiteWolfXA. I’m gonna be uploading some art soon. Stay safe out there and remember to wash your paws! :3

Hello everyone! I’m still alive don’t worry. So I just got back from Universal Orlando from my family and OMG it was amazing. My mom being a Harry Potter fan, she nerded out to no end. I even got in on the fun getting a wand myself. Great food, great rides, lots of fun that I desperately needed. Though I came home to find possible water damage in my ceiling so I had to call maintenance to get it fixed. On top of being sick so. *shrug*

On a different note, I know I haven’t posted stuff in months. I do have a lot I’ve done and more stuff on the way. The main issue is I’ve had trouble being able to do everything I want to in a day. Plus, other platforms are much more accessible. Still, FA is my main platform for the foreseeable future. So I will hopefully be posting the backlog of stuff I have. All in all, I’m doing alright. I just need to be better about updating stuff. Stay tuned for new stuff soon!

Shit, 28 years old already? Man time flies doesn’t it? This year so far has been hectic. Trying to settle in my apartment has been a task on its own in addition to work, family issues and the like. But overall, I think I’m settling down fairly well. I just want to thank everyone for your support and kind words over these past few months, which have been some of the hardest emotionally in my life so far. And you guys have helped me through it so far, so thank you. :3

On a different note, requests and trades may open up after my current big project finishes. Trust me guys, it’s worth the wait. Me and  Ryoku7 have something really special coming down the line. I think you’ll enjoy it. :3

Now then, if you’ll excuse me I have necessary b-day growth spurts to get to. :P That is all.

I’m finally moved into my new apartment, tv and net have been set up. Everything’s pretty sweet; near a mall, major highway, stores, etc. Plus shaves off half an hour off my commute to work.

Sadly I can’t fully enjoy it because...my parents are having serious issues right now. A lot of things happened before I moved out, some of which disturbed me greatly and had me very shaken. For the sake of privacy, I’m not going to go into it. But my family is hurting more than we ever have before. Having some distance definitely reduces some of the pain, but it’s still hard to hear about it. I’m holding together alright for now. The best thing I can do is keep moving, not to let this cripple me. I love my family dearly and pray that this will pass soon.

Phew! Ok enough with the sad stuff for now. Hopefully now that I have more time, I can start writing and drawing more again. We’ll see. :3 That is all. :3

I’m still looking at the lease in shock. It’s actually happening. It’s really happening. I’ve got a few weeks until I can move in, but still OMG. I’ve got so many emotions swirling around in my head right now. There’s so much to do. But finally after 5 years of hard work, I’ll be moving into my own place. I’ve got some ideas for making my place pretty cool, but we’ll have to see how things go. I need to relax tonight to take this all in. *thunder flops* Shit, I actually have to give a crap about decor now. X3 That is all. :3

Ok phew, finally got some time to sit down and type. So I'm still here, but my writing and art productivity have gone down for a number of reasons. One is work, which is getting more and more complicated by the day. Secondly, I'm part of a D&D group which eats up some of my time. (But soooo worth it.) But the most recent one that is taking the most time and attention: getting an apartment. Yeah, big deal. I've been dreaming about it for years now and I'm going to go look at one this Saturday. If all goes well, it's mine! With that said, during that time I might be without some internet until I get the new place all teched out. But I'm both excited and nervous. Hopefully when things calm down abit, I can get back to writing. That is all. :3

So yes I'm still alive despite lack of productivity art and story wise. My control over my life has been abit wonky the past few months. Not really sure of where I was going. I have a better understanding now, but still it's been tough. Adjusting to a new dog, random craziness at home, trying to apply to grad school, trying to move out and work. It's been a lot to handle and I haven't been doing a good job of it. At all.

But I'm getting back on track thanks to help from friends and family. And the constant reminder that I shouldn't try to do EVERYTHING alone. X3 You'd think I'd learn that by now. Anyway, I'm taking off a couple days to relax, hang with friends and organize myself to move things forward. Sadly, I can't come to Anthrocon this year. It just wasn't in the cards. Trying to come to MFF, but uh well it's all up in the air at this point.

Just figured I'd give an update in case anyone was worried. Hopefully I can get back to drawing and writi fairly soon. I've got a backlog of ideas I need to do. X3 That is all. :3

Also Jolteons. Big damn Jolteons.
.....shit. *grabs paper and pencil* xD

So I needed some dental surgery a few days ago to fix a problem that I've been trying to keep under wraps for some time now. Good news is I'm not gonna lose a tooth. Bad news is I might be out of commission in terms of art stuff for awhile due to getting over the drugs they gave me for the procedure. To give you an idea of just how strong they are, the surgery was on Tuesday and I'm only just now coming out of a cloudy minded state. Not fun.

So in case anyone asks, that's the reason I've been so quiet these past few days. I've had a couple ask if I was alright and I appreciate it. :3 Yes I'm fine, just a little loopy. I'll be back on my feet soon.

On another note, we got a brand new puppy and she is adorable. My mom needed it the most, though she's proving to be quite the trouble maker. Regardless, it's brought some more life into the house so there's that. I'm gonna go lay down now. That is all. :3

Sorry guys, I just have waaaaaay too much going on right now to take any more. I will post a journal when I'm reopening, but for now I have to try to control the chaos in my life currently. It's nothing bad, just a lot happening at once and I just don't have the time available. That is all.

Man, that was so chill. I loved it. Had a great dinner with my family at one of my favorite restaurants. Also got some good presents, namely a new iPad to replace my old Kindle, and some clothes. I didn't want a big blowout this year. Also thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! :D That is all. :3

Yay! Bday's here! I expect lots of root beer and cheesecake! :D But seriously wow 27 years old hard to believe. Not gonna say much as I'm pretty busy today. I'll let you guys know how it turned out tomorrow. That is all. :3

Wow this is late. I'm still alive, just super busy. Had a mini vacation a few weeks ago that was very much needed. I'm starting to come back to being myself. I've got some new writing on the way: mostly personal stuff including something on Xarnak's past and present. As well as something very very special I'm working in with  ryoku7. Seriously, I'm so thrilled to be working on it with him and I think you guys will love the final result. :3 Also I'm getting back into drawing thankfully! I'm gonna focus on getting all the ideas that built up in my head first. Talk about a creative backlog. X3

Also this coming Sunday is my BDAY! :D 27 years old, damn hard to believe. My family's taking me out to dinner to one of my favorite local restaurants so it should be a good night. I am getting myself a slice of cheesecake for my bday at some point though. Cuze cheesecake is sooooo good. <3 Well that's about it for now, stay fluffy! That is all. :3

Phew! Ok busy busy busy. I'm still alive, I think. X3 I've been busy recently with looking for grad school, new D&D campaign I'm participating in, and work in addition to stuff at home. I don't want to get into the details, but I should be fine for now. Also my drive to create came roaring back last Friday which is a relief. I wanna draw more and improve as well as write. On that last part, I've been given an amazing opportunity to work with one of my favorite artists and we're working on something rather special. So stay tuned! That is all. :3

2017, FINALLY! 2016 was....yeah that happened. x3 Honestly, 2016 was probably one of the hardest years I've experienced so far in my life. In both broad and personal terms. There were AMAZING moments sure, like going to Anthrocon for the first time, making so many new friends, my promotion, my mom getting her doctorate, getting my furry hoodie. But overall the year took its toll on me. Honestly, the worst part was expecting everything to turn out perfectly only to have it crash and burn miserably. Politics, personal expectations destroyed, our dog passing away; one person can only take so much stress. Luckily I had the help of my family, and friends to pull through. 2017 is going to be what I make it, screw the naysayers "oh it's all gonna be terrible, we're all gonna die, blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine". Yeah no thanks. I'm gonna try to be better about my art practice and writing, though with my work schedule there's really no guarantee. x3 But I'll try damn it. Also, I'm gonna try to be less "I AM NOT WORTHY TO BE IN THIS ARTIST'S PRESENCE! AAAAAA!" as I think that's off-putting to some people. In normal terms, I'm gonna try going outside my comfort zone, which is not easy for me. But again, I'm willing to try. Now then, let's make this a better year or at the very least less sucky! :D That is all. :3

It's been a rough ass year, but damn it's finally Christmas! Me and the family aren't doing anything super special this year. Mostly due to money constrictions, but also we needed a chill out period from 2016 into 2017. Furthermore, I am taking off work for the next week or so cuze quite frankly I need it. I need a week where I'm not constantly dashing from one thing to the next. Maybe I can catch up on some things I've postponed(?) Maybe even try another stream this coming week. Who knows. I'm just glad that I get a break. Anyway, have a great holiday and see you in 2017! :3

Go stuff yourselves silly! But seriously, have a great holiday! ^^

....yeah. The family dog died yesterday. It was so sudden it was a shock to us all. We knew something had been wrong with her, but never realized how sick she actually was....she was 11 years old. We had her since she was a puppy, back when I was starting high school. She was a member of the family, always rushing to the fridge whenever someone opened a tin of chicken or dropped an ice cube. She was so sweet and cute....God I miss her so much. My mom has been crying on and off since yesterday. She took it the hardest since she had the strongest bond with our dog. Honestly my eyes are tearing up abit just typing all of this. But at least she's not in pain anymore....I need to go lie down now. I'll be alright, just need time to process this more. That is all. :(

I've noticed it over the past few months. My productivity is waaaay down in everything, even personal stuff. Now mostly that's due to me being busy with other things. Like video games, work, and family things. I've been trying to force myself to do what I 'should be' working on in terms of art. But a friend helped me realize that if I treat it as work, it will feel like work. I don't want that to happen. So I'm going to mix requests with personal stuff. Personal stuff I WANT to do, rather than forcing myself. Because that's not art or fun. It's just needless stress.

Phew! Ok that's enough of the depressing stuff. I'm hoping to draw more, especially with my tablet. But mostly the traditional stuff as that's where my drawing strength is. Hopefully I can take that to digital soon. Alright I'm gonna stop rambling. *thunder flops on couch* tv time. :) that is all. :3

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7789072/

You're still reading this?! Go, get great art.



NAOW!

So ok I'm making it official now. I'm updating my main fursona's physique. Namely: bigger. That's right, I caught the big bug finally. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Honestly the only reason I started out super skinny was so I wouldn't get noticed. Then the hair came and well that was the end of that. X3 Since I'm becoming more open, I've decided to not limit myself any longer. Now what does this mean exactly? Well not a whole lot other than my default size being bigger and bulkier. I'm still interested in everything else (fat, hyper, etc), but this is something I've wanted to do for a long time now. And yes I'm keeping my new outfit. (It stretches. :D) But I'm saying it officially: I'm becoming a big fur. Well bigger technically. NOTE: NOT A MACRO. Also I will still use my skinnier versions when appropriate. :3

Phew! Ok that's out of the way. In other news, I've fallen ill due to releasing way too much stress at once after I came back from vacation. So I'm a big sick wolf I guess? *coughs, making a nearby table explode* 0-0 This is gonna be a hell of a learning curve.
That is all. :3

So I wanted to just let everyone know I'll be on vacation from tomorrow to Monday with the family. Things have started to calm down since my mom passed her dissertation. The level of stress on the house has gone down dramatically within the past two days. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to handle such a change. I have been constantly stressed by multiple things for the past two months. And yesterday, I finally broke down. All of the stress came pouring out of me at once, it wasn't pretty. But for once, I was the crazy person in the house instead of my mother. Honestly, I'm still feeling the effects today. I am much better than yesterday, but needless to say I really need this vacation. I need time to relax and unwind without having shit thrown at me immediately as soon as I try to relax. So if I have seemed snipey recently, I'm truly sorry. Hopefully things with get better soon.

On an unrelated note, I am considering getting a display drawing tablet. No, not a Cintiq. I found a cheaper option, but I'm still thinking about it. It could be a great tool for me as I've been having trouble with my intuos. In any case, here's hoping for a good vacation! That is all. :3

Edit: I will work occasionally on my slots, but most of my vacation is for my own mental well being and I need as little stress as possible. Thank you for your patience.

Wow...wow...WOOOOW!!!! Where do I begin? Initially I had my doubts I'll be honest. But I'm so glad I came. I got to meet soooo many people in person for the first time:
 raththomas  tyren  ctrlaltdel123  malcolmthebear  PanScolipede  Lunostophiles  Myr  Unknownwolf  dragonfireny  Fierglief  Tyrse  Ark-Noir and so many many more! The atmosphere at Anthrocon is...amazing. It's fun, welcoming and crazy; all things I love! I was like a kid in a candy store in the dealers den as usual. But I gotta say the other great part about this convention: Pittsburgh. What a town. Great food, great hotels, and surprisingly enthusiastic about having a bunch of fuzz butts walking around downtown.

Now there are people I missed the opportunity to meet with, but that's ok. I can try again the next convention I guess. Yeah I'm considering coming to more in the future after this. Overall I think that this is probably the best convention I've ever been to. To  raththomas and  tyren , thanks for having me along for the ride guys. Seriously it was an absolute blast! See you all next year/con! That is all :3

Yeah it's actually happening, hard to believe to be honest. ^^ I will be arriving sometime tonight at the hotel. Now I do not want to tell where I am or who I am rooming with just yet as I feel it might be alittle embarrassing for them to have to explain to someone who hears my name and goes "who?" x3 I might be wrong, I dunno. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time, I think it's messing with my head abit. In any case, I'd better get back to packing. See you guys there!

That is all. :3

https://picarto.tv/Xarnak :3

Update: Ended due to tiredness.