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May Have Two More Slots
General | Posted a month agoGoing to be giving the client in question 24 more hours to get in touch with me, but if they do not, I'll be going through the raffle of non-winners and offering two more slots to them.
Final Character Poll Results
General | Posted a month agoWell, it's been long enough for me to be able to just call it. Bit sad that this one didn't get as much attention as the other polls, but that happens sometimes. However, that ends the final poll for the characters that get focus for the year. Let's go through the comparisons and other results real quick.
On the male vote, there were six characters presented, and there were a total of 24 votes cast. At the end of the day, the winners (other than Draconicon) were:
Arga, Argonian, with 87/144 possible points
Hugo, minotaur/bull, with 83/144 possible points
On the female vote, there were six characters represented, and there were a total of 21 votes cast. At the end of the day, the winners were:
Tatyana, Tigress, with 95/126 possible points
Vicki, Kitsune, with 79/126 possible points
Which brings us to the final vote, for the trans, intersex, and other characters that don't qualify as cisgender. There were only 13 votes for these characters, which is a pity but I kind of expected that; honestly I'm shocked that there were nearly as many votes for cis females as there were for cis males.
Anyway, the results were:
Sarina: 52/78
Drakina: 52/78
Pankaja: 49/78
Xiadani: 41/78
Baroness: 40/78
The Earl: 38/78
I expected Drakina to be up there, but didn't expect her to tie, and certainly didn't expect Sarina to move up. Considering her lack of appeal in the past, I'm happy.
Would have liked to see more, but hey, at least we have our two winners.
Anyway, that means that the characters of my rather massive list to get focus this year are:
Draconicon
Arga
Hugo
Tatyana
Vicki
Sarina (Dragoness)
Drakina (Dragoness)
...Kinda feel there's a scaly bias here, heh.
Anyway, that's the end of that. Thanks for all your participation.
On the male vote, there were six characters presented, and there were a total of 24 votes cast. At the end of the day, the winners (other than Draconicon) were:
Arga, Argonian, with 87/144 possible points
Hugo, minotaur/bull, with 83/144 possible points
On the female vote, there were six characters represented, and there were a total of 21 votes cast. At the end of the day, the winners were:
Tatyana, Tigress, with 95/126 possible points
Vicki, Kitsune, with 79/126 possible points
Which brings us to the final vote, for the trans, intersex, and other characters that don't qualify as cisgender. There were only 13 votes for these characters, which is a pity but I kind of expected that; honestly I'm shocked that there were nearly as many votes for cis females as there were for cis males.
Anyway, the results were:
Sarina: 52/78
Drakina: 52/78
Pankaja: 49/78
Xiadani: 41/78
Baroness: 40/78
The Earl: 38/78
I expected Drakina to be up there, but didn't expect her to tie, and certainly didn't expect Sarina to move up. Considering her lack of appeal in the past, I'm happy.
Would have liked to see more, but hey, at least we have our two winners.
Anyway, that means that the characters of my rather massive list to get focus this year are:
Draconicon
Arga
Hugo
Tatyana
Vicki
Sarina (Dragoness)
Drakina (Dragoness)
...Kinda feel there's a scaly bias here, heh.
Anyway, that's the end of that. Thanks for all your participation.
Commission Winners!
General | Posted a month agoWell, congratulations to everyone that participated. We had a good raffle this time around, and a fair numbers of winners. Let’s go through them real quick.
For standard commissions:
Ultilix for 4 miniseries chapters
RayO_ElGatubelo for 3 miniseries chapters
hazrondo for 2 chapters of Pokémon Polyamory
FriskeCrisps for 1 9-pager
Corn1 for 2 miniseries chapters
angelus288 for 3 miniseries chapters
Summercide for 2 miniseries chapters
LykusAzorious for 4 miniseries chapters + 1 Author’s Pleasure
lightsun168 for 2 miniseries chapters
For Brainstorms:
Alain
Guderian
Summercide
And finally, game story:
Damiekinz for 1 day-long game story (4 hours)
Thank you all for participating in this. I’m looking forward to working with all of you.
For those that got standard commissions, start sending your write-ups to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com , and you can find the write-up template here, where all you have to do is copy that down and fill it. Please get your write-ups to me ASAP.
For those of you that got brainstorms, please note me and so we can start discussing appointments for when we can start talking.
Thank you, one and all, and look forward to getting work done for you.
For standard commissions:
Ultilix for 4 miniseries chapters
RayO_ElGatubelo for 3 miniseries chapters
hazrondo for 2 chapters of Pokémon Polyamory
FriskeCrisps for 1 9-pager
Corn1 for 2 miniseries chapters
angelus288 for 3 miniseries chapters
Summercide for 2 miniseries chapters
LykusAzorious for 4 miniseries chapters + 1 Author’s Pleasure
lightsun168 for 2 miniseries chaptersFor Brainstorms:
Alain 
Guderian Summercide And finally, game story:
Damiekinz for 1 day-long game story (4 hours)Thank you all for participating in this. I’m looking forward to working with all of you.
For those that got standard commissions, start sending your write-ups to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com , and you can find the write-up template here, where all you have to do is copy that down and fill it. Please get your write-ups to me ASAP.
For those of you that got brainstorms, please note me and so we can start discussing appointments for when we can start talking.
Thank you, one and all, and look forward to getting work done for you.
Therapy Thoughts, Realized Issues, Steps Forward
General | Posted a month agoHey, everyone. Been doing a lot of thinking since I started therapy a few months ago, and I thought I might share some of them here. Not quite sure why, but there’s this need to talk and hell, maybe some of you will see something I’m not.
The main things I went into therapy for were to deal with lingering grief and my difficulty keeping myself happy. I have struggled with this for a long time, though it has become worse over the last few years, even before the death of my mother in 2023. I had done some introspection into that, but therapy’s taken that further (which is good, because, you know, paying for expertise and I’d rather like to get that), and also encouraged me to have more insights of my own.
So, shortest possible way to put this.
Background: eldest child of three in a single-parent family, emotionally abusive bio-father, had to be the grown-up kid that suppressed all possible needs and wants. Got praised for being so ‘mature’ and ‘responsible,’ and colluded with that to become more helpful and less ‘complicated’ to keep getting praise, because if I didn’t, that love and appreciation stopped. Left the default-Christian faith around age 8-10, somewhere in there, after realizing some logical fallacies and getting no answers on that, and developed a deep depression around death because that was just the end. Did not have any family support on that because that would have been ‘needy’ and not ‘responsible.’ Oh, right, also fairly heavy poverty and mom working 3 jobs at a given time.
Fast forward. Depression about pointlessness of life is fought by need to be helpful, to be validated by being a good person, by being needed by others, by doing everything as good as possible to take stress off of other people. I over-indulge, connecting to many people, forgoing healthy relationships because they didn’t ‘need’ me and instead focusing on people that were hurting, or needy, or otherwise able to show me that I was helpful to them.
A few years later, my mom gets a terminal illness, in either 2012 or 2013. She is now on a ten-year descent toward death when the doctors told her that she had a year, maybe two, to live. I become more and more the caretaker at home, eventually contributing between one-third to one-half the finances of the house month to month. Stepdad helps, but he’s basically there as financial provider; household becomes increasingly more mine to manage in terms of cleaning, cooking, etc., as mom gets worse and worse.
Resentment for all of this is kept down, despite unconscious emotional blackmail to stay there because ‘things would get worse’ if I ever left, and that would be my fault as a result.
Zoom forward to present day. Mom’s dead. Grandmother’s dead. Bio-dad’s dead. Step-dad left and went back to the east coast. Sister and brother barely talk. Family’s basically scattered to the winds, and I live with friends.
…Fuck, that was a long background. For any that goes through the whole thing, my apologies, and thank you.
Anyway, stuff I’ve been able to glean from introspection, therapy, and other stuff. My problems include:
-The part of me that wants things is MASSIVELY stifled and even a little damaged; it’s been taught to shut up because wanting things hurts me around other people.
-The part of me that is so eager to offer help is part love/compassion, part desperation to be worth keeping around.
-I believe that I am worthy of love and help, but have two saboteurs in the way: the caretaker side that lets everyone else get help first, and the part of me that was praised for being so skilled and good needing to keep that by not needing help.
-Despite worthiness of love and help, a part of me resists being helped because of the rule of prior experience: those that need help cannot give, those that give help cannot get. And I struggle to get around that ‘rule’.
-I struggle to enjoy anything outside the moment, because the part of me starved of happiness (which happens because of the first problem) wants to hyper-optimize it, which takes me from ‘enjoying thing’ to ‘how to enjoy thing’, which has no happiness, which poisons the thing and keeps it from being happy.
-Stuff I used to enjoy that takes time has become poisoned by association, because ‘responsible’ people don’t waste time, and they have to be available for others (see losing most ability to write for myself, read for myself, do things without ‘fooling’ my brain by doing it for/with other people).
And there’s other, smaller things in there, too, but that’s the big stuff.
Now, does that mean I feel hopeless? No. Wincing a bit at realizing how much of that stuff is there, but, hey, at least now I can take some steps and try and be better with it, improve myself, find ways around or through the issues until they can be resolved.
What I’m doing now (besides taking a beating-stick to sabotaging thoughts when I find them):
-Practicing mindfulness/presence in the moment (removing expectations, accepting things as they are, maybe with lowered standards, and trying to not ‘pop’ the headspace bubble if it is a good one)
-Accepting treats when offered instead of immediately denying them or trying to shrug them off.
-Focusing on the loving-others reason to help rather than doing it because ‘good person does this’ (and I care for and love a lot of people, so that should be somewhat easy).
-Encouraging myself to go back to things I did do for myself in the past, going through familiar things that should be easier instead of trying new things in the same cluster (reading a book I already know, going back to something I wrote that I did like back then, etc.)
It’s not much, but they are steps. And there’s gonna be a lot more.
Not sure why I wrote this all out, but I felt the need to get the thoughts out, and maybe codify it a bit.
For those that read the whole thing, thank you for your time.
The main things I went into therapy for were to deal with lingering grief and my difficulty keeping myself happy. I have struggled with this for a long time, though it has become worse over the last few years, even before the death of my mother in 2023. I had done some introspection into that, but therapy’s taken that further (which is good, because, you know, paying for expertise and I’d rather like to get that), and also encouraged me to have more insights of my own.
So, shortest possible way to put this.
Background: eldest child of three in a single-parent family, emotionally abusive bio-father, had to be the grown-up kid that suppressed all possible needs and wants. Got praised for being so ‘mature’ and ‘responsible,’ and colluded with that to become more helpful and less ‘complicated’ to keep getting praise, because if I didn’t, that love and appreciation stopped. Left the default-Christian faith around age 8-10, somewhere in there, after realizing some logical fallacies and getting no answers on that, and developed a deep depression around death because that was just the end. Did not have any family support on that because that would have been ‘needy’ and not ‘responsible.’ Oh, right, also fairly heavy poverty and mom working 3 jobs at a given time.
Fast forward. Depression about pointlessness of life is fought by need to be helpful, to be validated by being a good person, by being needed by others, by doing everything as good as possible to take stress off of other people. I over-indulge, connecting to many people, forgoing healthy relationships because they didn’t ‘need’ me and instead focusing on people that were hurting, or needy, or otherwise able to show me that I was helpful to them.
A few years later, my mom gets a terminal illness, in either 2012 or 2013. She is now on a ten-year descent toward death when the doctors told her that she had a year, maybe two, to live. I become more and more the caretaker at home, eventually contributing between one-third to one-half the finances of the house month to month. Stepdad helps, but he’s basically there as financial provider; household becomes increasingly more mine to manage in terms of cleaning, cooking, etc., as mom gets worse and worse.
Resentment for all of this is kept down, despite unconscious emotional blackmail to stay there because ‘things would get worse’ if I ever left, and that would be my fault as a result.
Zoom forward to present day. Mom’s dead. Grandmother’s dead. Bio-dad’s dead. Step-dad left and went back to the east coast. Sister and brother barely talk. Family’s basically scattered to the winds, and I live with friends.
…Fuck, that was a long background. For any that goes through the whole thing, my apologies, and thank you.
Anyway, stuff I’ve been able to glean from introspection, therapy, and other stuff. My problems include:
-The part of me that wants things is MASSIVELY stifled and even a little damaged; it’s been taught to shut up because wanting things hurts me around other people.
-The part of me that is so eager to offer help is part love/compassion, part desperation to be worth keeping around.
-I believe that I am worthy of love and help, but have two saboteurs in the way: the caretaker side that lets everyone else get help first, and the part of me that was praised for being so skilled and good needing to keep that by not needing help.
-Despite worthiness of love and help, a part of me resists being helped because of the rule of prior experience: those that need help cannot give, those that give help cannot get. And I struggle to get around that ‘rule’.
-I struggle to enjoy anything outside the moment, because the part of me starved of happiness (which happens because of the first problem) wants to hyper-optimize it, which takes me from ‘enjoying thing’ to ‘how to enjoy thing’, which has no happiness, which poisons the thing and keeps it from being happy.
-Stuff I used to enjoy that takes time has become poisoned by association, because ‘responsible’ people don’t waste time, and they have to be available for others (see losing most ability to write for myself, read for myself, do things without ‘fooling’ my brain by doing it for/with other people).
And there’s other, smaller things in there, too, but that’s the big stuff.
Now, does that mean I feel hopeless? No. Wincing a bit at realizing how much of that stuff is there, but, hey, at least now I can take some steps and try and be better with it, improve myself, find ways around or through the issues until they can be resolved.
What I’m doing now (besides taking a beating-stick to sabotaging thoughts when I find them):
-Practicing mindfulness/presence in the moment (removing expectations, accepting things as they are, maybe with lowered standards, and trying to not ‘pop’ the headspace bubble if it is a good one)
-Accepting treats when offered instead of immediately denying them or trying to shrug them off.
-Focusing on the loving-others reason to help rather than doing it because ‘good person does this’ (and I care for and love a lot of people, so that should be somewhat easy).
-Encouraging myself to go back to things I did do for myself in the past, going through familiar things that should be easier instead of trying new things in the same cluster (reading a book I already know, going back to something I wrote that I did like back then, etc.)
It’s not much, but they are steps. And there’s gonna be a lot more.
Not sure why I wrote this all out, but I felt the need to get the thoughts out, and maybe codify it a bit.
For those that read the whole thing, thank you for your time.
Updates on Mistakes and Commission Stuff
General | Posted 2 months agoHey everyone!
Just giving you a heads-up after the previous journal. I had a lot of people reach out after I mentioned the issues I was having, and I’ve gotten a lot of extra stuff to do. That, and a lot of people were very kind and just offered to help with what they could. That – that meant a lot, and I honestly don’t have the words for it right now.
Suffice to say, I’m doing okay now. I’ve got a fair bit of image stories and other stuff to get done for you, and I’ll be pumping those out as I can. If you’ve already talked to me about it, even if it’s just to ask about doing things, then great, you’re on the list. If you’re thinking of asking for some, hold onto that thought and let me get through what I’ve already taken on.
Thank you, everyone, again.
Also, look forward to more uploads soon.
Just giving you a heads-up after the previous journal. I had a lot of people reach out after I mentioned the issues I was having, and I’ve gotten a lot of extra stuff to do. That, and a lot of people were very kind and just offered to help with what they could. That – that meant a lot, and I honestly don’t have the words for it right now.
Suffice to say, I’m doing okay now. I’ve got a fair bit of image stories and other stuff to get done for you, and I’ll be pumping those out as I can. If you’ve already talked to me about it, even if it’s just to ask about doing things, then great, you’re on the list. If you’re thinking of asking for some, hold onto that thought and let me get through what I’ve already taken on.
Thank you, everyone, again.
Also, look forward to more uploads soon.
2026 Personal Bingo Idea
General | Posted 3 months agoHey, everyone. Just thought I’d share an idea that came to mind.
We all know that New Year resolutions never go as easily as one hopes. We promise we’ll do something that’d ‘improve’ us and make us happy, but most of us will forget or give up partway through the month, certainly through the year. It’s not easy to grab something big like that, that’s for sure. Been there quite a few times myself.
So, I thought this year, I’d game-ify it a bit. Make it a bingo, separated into three different categories: Easy Tasks, Long-Term Tasks, and Mixed Tasks. Every time I get one done, I get to put a mark on the bingo board, and whenever I get 5 in a row, I get a reward. Still figuring out what the rewards should be (and please feel free to offer suggestions in the comments) but I feel like the chance to reward myself a little might help.
Anyway, the list (which will be randomized on a 5x5 board).
Five Easy Tasks (things done quickly or relatively simply, easy to start the board)
1. Read One Book: I really, really, really want to get back to reading again. As a writer, I should be, and I keep starting and stopping. I have Libby and a few other apps on my phone for this, plus some physical books. Fingers crossed I can make this an ‘easy’ one, because I miss being in fiction.
2. Host Discord Movie Night: Movie nights with my community on Discord are surprisingly fun, and it’s nice to have an excuse to watch a movie. Having this here will hopefully nudge me to do another one sooner than later, particularly considering all I have to do is pick a movie and a day.
3. Go to Seattle Art Museum: I literally have an art museum that I could visit right across the Sound, and I’ve been meaning to give that one a try for a while. I’ve been to other art museums in my state, and I always enjoy going, so why not? Just gotta get a ride down to the ferry and I can go from there.
4. Treat Myself to a Meal: Literally the easiest thing on this section of the list. All I gotta do is put in an order if I really want to cheat, but the idea is that I don’t hesitate to give myself something nice. Saving is good, but sometimes, it’s nice to just reward that inner child that really, really wants something easy and satisfies a craving.
5. Start Bird-Feeding Again: I genuinely love the local wildlife, and I have always wanted to stay connected to corvids in the area. The fact that I had some crows and some jays that were really quite happy to come around last year is something I want to keep going. Really just need to keep some seeds and nuts around, but it’s getting it ordered and starting again. Easy, just need to get the funds for it.
Five Long-Term Tasks (things that will take months, if not progress slowly throughout the course of the year)
6. Write One Series: I want to write and finish a personal series for my furry work. I have a lot of different ideas, and far too many characters demanding it, but I want to get one written, done, and posted before the end of the year. It’s eminently doable – and I might even luck out with a sponsored series getting that sort of thing – but I want ONE done by the end of the year.
7. Get Driving License: I’ve started the basics of this, but I gotta get the learner’s permit, go through all that extra learning and practice, and then do the supervised bits of driving and – yes, I still need to look through all the other stuff involved. But if I can drive without feeling terrified, getting a license (and a car, eventually) will go a long way towards removing my isolation.
8. Drop Under 200 lbs: Around COVID time, I dropped 65 pounds (from 250 to 185) over the course of 4-5 months. Since then, my weight has crept back up to 239. I want to knock that back down. I don’t know how I lost that kind of weight before, and I doubt I’d have it happen again that fast, but I do want to get under 200. 12 months should be plenty of time to lose 30-40 pounds, I hope, though I am aware that’s a little optimistic.
9. Make 3 local friends: I have wonderful digital friends at the moment, but the fact that few of them are going to be in my neck of the woods means that there’s a certain isolation when housemates get busy. It’d be nice to build up a couple of people that live at least semi-locally and can be hung out with from time to time. 12 months should be more than enough to find three good ones even for my isolated ass.
10. Get Rough Draft of ‘Real’ Novel Done: I keep telling myself I’ll get something done as a ‘real’ novel instead of the furry work I do on commission. I keep telling myself that one day I’ll get past the blocks that have kept me from going back, and maybe even like it again. I’m going to try and make that happen this year. Might be the hardest of the long-term goals, honestly.
Fifteen Mixed Tasks
11. Learn Knife Sharpening: I’m a cook. If I don’t have sharp knives, I’m in trouble. I could find a knife sharpener to do it for me, or buy one of the cheap sharpeners that kinda eats knives to make them sharp again, but I’d like to learn the whetstone thing if I can. It just…it feels like it’s something I should be able to do.
12. Read One Trilogy: Reading solo books would be great to do again, but there’s a difference between reading solo books and reading trilogies (particularly as series are popping up all over the place and it’s hard to find self-contained books in the same way anymore). Once I can read single books regularly again, I want to make myself do a trilogy. If I can get that back, I think I’ll be in a good place.
13. Perfect Fried Rice: While I’ve been making perfectly good fried rice for a while, I’ve got a roommate that’s pretty fond of it and has some good memories of a type that he really loves. I’m trying to perfect it to make it as good as possible, and also up my skills as a cook. Fingers crossed I can get that.
14. Make personal soundtrack: When I was using Spotify – before it went to shit – I was slowly starting to make a personal playlist for myself. Kind of a soundtrack-of-life sort of thing, songs that I felt represented me. I guess you could call it an audio moodboard of sorts. I’d like to get back to that, finding songs that I both love and feel like they represent me. Feels like a fun project, and it’d make for fun listening.
15. Make animal blessing cards: I’ve enjoyed the works of a few tarot decks, as well as a new-age angel blessing deck, but I thought that it might be interesting to look into that further and make a sort of ‘animal blessing’ thing, like a guardian and companion for a time. I’ve got a number of ideas, and it may never be more than text cards, but the idea has sunk in and holds me tight.
16. Trip to San Juan Islands: Look, the San Juans are not that far away. They’re beautiful, they’re a major draw in my neck of the woods, and I’ve never seen them. I want to go see them, maybe spend the night there, but for sure see everything that I can on the islands. I’ve gotten much more in-touch with nature over the last few years, and that’s huge.
17. Get 3 Art Comms: 95% of the art that I have of my characters were gifted to me by someone else. I want to get art that I pick from the ground up rather than just being the result of someone else’s amazing generosity. It’ll probably cost me a bit, so I will need to get some savings in, but I hope that I can find an artist or three that I click with and who can give me some good art for my characters.
18. Write Personal Cookbook: Not as a publishable thing, but just to have a bound-together list of foods that I do regularly, as well as the list of things that go into them. I tend to do a lot of experimenting with the stuff that I do, and sometimes the dishes come out very different because I can’t remember what I did the last time or had a new idea. Not to mention it’d be helpful to housemates when I need a break.
19. Decide and Start Hoard: What kind of dragon doesn’t have some kind of hoard? I used to think that it’d be books, then spices, but I honestly feel like I should pick something to collect and show off. A part of me would really like some kind of theme that way, and it’d add to the empty walls. So, time to figure out what I want to collect and show off, and then start it.
20. Go To In-Person Ace Meet-Ups: There’s plenty of pride and other LGBTQ+ meetings, but getting to an ace one is…annoying without having a car. Getting to the one in Seattle would require a 20 minute drive, a 60 minute ferry ride, and then an hour-plus bus-ride to the place where people meet up, and that’s one-way. I’d have to do the same thing to get back afterward, and that’s just…painful. Might be worth it, but getting there for the first time requires significant run-up and investment. Should still try it, though, if only to have that unique energy.
21. Go on 1 In-USA Trip: There’s so many places to see in the USA, and I want to hit up at least one of them this year. To count, this means going over state lines to somewhere outside Washington state and spending at least one night outside of the state boundaries. There’s a number of possibilities, and it’d be a great way to spend time with my roommates.
22. Go on 2 In-USA Trips: And if there’s time for one, there might be time for another, particularly if I went to visit a friend elsewhere in the states. That’d require some more working-up, more to see people than another place, but it could be a great way to get another location knocked off. Same rules apply as above.
23. Run Charity Story Event: In the past, I ran a charity set of stories during the holiday season, raising money to donate to charity. I would like to do that again at some point of the year, just because things are getting more difficult for many people and this would be my way to contribute to it. Not sure what the charity would be, but as I’ve been able to donate upwards of $500 in the past, I’d like to see if I can break a record and help more people.
24. Stream and Finish 5 Games: It took me a rather long time to finish some of the games that I was playing in 2025 on twitch. I want to try and get through them a little faster. Might involve changing up the way that I play them from time to time, doing more of a single game rather than sticking to the three-games-a-week style, but I want to get through more games this year instead of coasting and taking forever with them.
25. Attend 3 New Plays/Musicals I’ve Never Seen: Watching The Producers with a friend recently reminded me of how fun it can be to see plays and musicals, particularly if I can gather the funds to see them live. I might not live in a mega-culture center, but there’s gotta be chances to see 3 plays and musicals I haven’t seen before the end of the year.
Anyway, that’s the list of what I want to get done this year. I’ll post it as a bingo page later, and maybe include the rewards I give myself for it.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions for the latter – or thoughts on the list – lemme know.
We all know that New Year resolutions never go as easily as one hopes. We promise we’ll do something that’d ‘improve’ us and make us happy, but most of us will forget or give up partway through the month, certainly through the year. It’s not easy to grab something big like that, that’s for sure. Been there quite a few times myself.
So, I thought this year, I’d game-ify it a bit. Make it a bingo, separated into three different categories: Easy Tasks, Long-Term Tasks, and Mixed Tasks. Every time I get one done, I get to put a mark on the bingo board, and whenever I get 5 in a row, I get a reward. Still figuring out what the rewards should be (and please feel free to offer suggestions in the comments) but I feel like the chance to reward myself a little might help.
Anyway, the list (which will be randomized on a 5x5 board).
Five Easy Tasks (things done quickly or relatively simply, easy to start the board)
1. Read One Book: I really, really, really want to get back to reading again. As a writer, I should be, and I keep starting and stopping. I have Libby and a few other apps on my phone for this, plus some physical books. Fingers crossed I can make this an ‘easy’ one, because I miss being in fiction.
2. Host Discord Movie Night: Movie nights with my community on Discord are surprisingly fun, and it’s nice to have an excuse to watch a movie. Having this here will hopefully nudge me to do another one sooner than later, particularly considering all I have to do is pick a movie and a day.
3. Go to Seattle Art Museum: I literally have an art museum that I could visit right across the Sound, and I’ve been meaning to give that one a try for a while. I’ve been to other art museums in my state, and I always enjoy going, so why not? Just gotta get a ride down to the ferry and I can go from there.
4. Treat Myself to a Meal: Literally the easiest thing on this section of the list. All I gotta do is put in an order if I really want to cheat, but the idea is that I don’t hesitate to give myself something nice. Saving is good, but sometimes, it’s nice to just reward that inner child that really, really wants something easy and satisfies a craving.
5. Start Bird-Feeding Again: I genuinely love the local wildlife, and I have always wanted to stay connected to corvids in the area. The fact that I had some crows and some jays that were really quite happy to come around last year is something I want to keep going. Really just need to keep some seeds and nuts around, but it’s getting it ordered and starting again. Easy, just need to get the funds for it.
Five Long-Term Tasks (things that will take months, if not progress slowly throughout the course of the year)
6. Write One Series: I want to write and finish a personal series for my furry work. I have a lot of different ideas, and far too many characters demanding it, but I want to get one written, done, and posted before the end of the year. It’s eminently doable – and I might even luck out with a sponsored series getting that sort of thing – but I want ONE done by the end of the year.
7. Get Driving License: I’ve started the basics of this, but I gotta get the learner’s permit, go through all that extra learning and practice, and then do the supervised bits of driving and – yes, I still need to look through all the other stuff involved. But if I can drive without feeling terrified, getting a license (and a car, eventually) will go a long way towards removing my isolation.
8. Drop Under 200 lbs: Around COVID time, I dropped 65 pounds (from 250 to 185) over the course of 4-5 months. Since then, my weight has crept back up to 239. I want to knock that back down. I don’t know how I lost that kind of weight before, and I doubt I’d have it happen again that fast, but I do want to get under 200. 12 months should be plenty of time to lose 30-40 pounds, I hope, though I am aware that’s a little optimistic.
9. Make 3 local friends: I have wonderful digital friends at the moment, but the fact that few of them are going to be in my neck of the woods means that there’s a certain isolation when housemates get busy. It’d be nice to build up a couple of people that live at least semi-locally and can be hung out with from time to time. 12 months should be more than enough to find three good ones even for my isolated ass.
10. Get Rough Draft of ‘Real’ Novel Done: I keep telling myself I’ll get something done as a ‘real’ novel instead of the furry work I do on commission. I keep telling myself that one day I’ll get past the blocks that have kept me from going back, and maybe even like it again. I’m going to try and make that happen this year. Might be the hardest of the long-term goals, honestly.
Fifteen Mixed Tasks
11. Learn Knife Sharpening: I’m a cook. If I don’t have sharp knives, I’m in trouble. I could find a knife sharpener to do it for me, or buy one of the cheap sharpeners that kinda eats knives to make them sharp again, but I’d like to learn the whetstone thing if I can. It just…it feels like it’s something I should be able to do.
12. Read One Trilogy: Reading solo books would be great to do again, but there’s a difference between reading solo books and reading trilogies (particularly as series are popping up all over the place and it’s hard to find self-contained books in the same way anymore). Once I can read single books regularly again, I want to make myself do a trilogy. If I can get that back, I think I’ll be in a good place.
13. Perfect Fried Rice: While I’ve been making perfectly good fried rice for a while, I’ve got a roommate that’s pretty fond of it and has some good memories of a type that he really loves. I’m trying to perfect it to make it as good as possible, and also up my skills as a cook. Fingers crossed I can get that.
14. Make personal soundtrack: When I was using Spotify – before it went to shit – I was slowly starting to make a personal playlist for myself. Kind of a soundtrack-of-life sort of thing, songs that I felt represented me. I guess you could call it an audio moodboard of sorts. I’d like to get back to that, finding songs that I both love and feel like they represent me. Feels like a fun project, and it’d make for fun listening.
15. Make animal blessing cards: I’ve enjoyed the works of a few tarot decks, as well as a new-age angel blessing deck, but I thought that it might be interesting to look into that further and make a sort of ‘animal blessing’ thing, like a guardian and companion for a time. I’ve got a number of ideas, and it may never be more than text cards, but the idea has sunk in and holds me tight.
16. Trip to San Juan Islands: Look, the San Juans are not that far away. They’re beautiful, they’re a major draw in my neck of the woods, and I’ve never seen them. I want to go see them, maybe spend the night there, but for sure see everything that I can on the islands. I’ve gotten much more in-touch with nature over the last few years, and that’s huge.
17. Get 3 Art Comms: 95% of the art that I have of my characters were gifted to me by someone else. I want to get art that I pick from the ground up rather than just being the result of someone else’s amazing generosity. It’ll probably cost me a bit, so I will need to get some savings in, but I hope that I can find an artist or three that I click with and who can give me some good art for my characters.
18. Write Personal Cookbook: Not as a publishable thing, but just to have a bound-together list of foods that I do regularly, as well as the list of things that go into them. I tend to do a lot of experimenting with the stuff that I do, and sometimes the dishes come out very different because I can’t remember what I did the last time or had a new idea. Not to mention it’d be helpful to housemates when I need a break.
19. Decide and Start Hoard: What kind of dragon doesn’t have some kind of hoard? I used to think that it’d be books, then spices, but I honestly feel like I should pick something to collect and show off. A part of me would really like some kind of theme that way, and it’d add to the empty walls. So, time to figure out what I want to collect and show off, and then start it.
20. Go To In-Person Ace Meet-Ups: There’s plenty of pride and other LGBTQ+ meetings, but getting to an ace one is…annoying without having a car. Getting to the one in Seattle would require a 20 minute drive, a 60 minute ferry ride, and then an hour-plus bus-ride to the place where people meet up, and that’s one-way. I’d have to do the same thing to get back afterward, and that’s just…painful. Might be worth it, but getting there for the first time requires significant run-up and investment. Should still try it, though, if only to have that unique energy.
21. Go on 1 In-USA Trip: There’s so many places to see in the USA, and I want to hit up at least one of them this year. To count, this means going over state lines to somewhere outside Washington state and spending at least one night outside of the state boundaries. There’s a number of possibilities, and it’d be a great way to spend time with my roommates.
22. Go on 2 In-USA Trips: And if there’s time for one, there might be time for another, particularly if I went to visit a friend elsewhere in the states. That’d require some more working-up, more to see people than another place, but it could be a great way to get another location knocked off. Same rules apply as above.
23. Run Charity Story Event: In the past, I ran a charity set of stories during the holiday season, raising money to donate to charity. I would like to do that again at some point of the year, just because things are getting more difficult for many people and this would be my way to contribute to it. Not sure what the charity would be, but as I’ve been able to donate upwards of $500 in the past, I’d like to see if I can break a record and help more people.
24. Stream and Finish 5 Games: It took me a rather long time to finish some of the games that I was playing in 2025 on twitch. I want to try and get through them a little faster. Might involve changing up the way that I play them from time to time, doing more of a single game rather than sticking to the three-games-a-week style, but I want to get through more games this year instead of coasting and taking forever with them.
25. Attend 3 New Plays/Musicals I’ve Never Seen: Watching The Producers with a friend recently reminded me of how fun it can be to see plays and musicals, particularly if I can gather the funds to see them live. I might not live in a mega-culture center, but there’s gotta be chances to see 3 plays and musicals I haven’t seen before the end of the year.
Anyway, that’s the list of what I want to get done this year. I’ll post it as a bingo page later, and maybe include the rewards I give myself for it.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions for the latter – or thoughts on the list – lemme know.
Happy 2026: Accomplishments, Hopes, And Reminder
General | Posted 4 months agoWell, looks like I gotta say it.
It’s obligatory, we gotta do it.
Anyway, I won’t take up too much of your time. I know that you’re reading all these things from everyone else all over the internet, probably getting a bunch of standard announcements from all the people that you follow. So, let’s just cut to the chase: what was done, what I want to happen, and a general reminder.
Accomplishments for 2025:
-166 commissions posted over 2025 (and more written, I’m just, as usual, lazy about the uploading process)
-Several new friends gained (and learned that I’m respected by people that I really look up to, fucking awesome)
-Managed my usual trip to the UK during the summer months (GOD does that fuck with my productivity, but it was still nice)
-Started learning to drive (SO fucking nervous about that, but fingers crossed it goes well at 36)
-Restarted doing game stories for people
-Did my first Professional Worldbuilding commission for someone
-Started making a dent in the patreon rewards I still owe people
-Started doing some personal stories to force some creativity and have started building them into commission lists
-SURVIVED
I want anyone that managed to get through 2025 to make it a note that they did. I want everyone that managed to keep their heads above water and stay with us to celebrate that fact. Whether they did it with spite, with good planning, or through sheer good luck, the fact that you did is something that you should celebrate.
You.
Are.
Awesome.
You made it through, and that means that you still have the chance to get something better out of life than you have. I can’t wait to see what you do going forward. You all have something to give, and I hope you get the chance to give it to the person that needs it, even – and especially – if that person is yourself.
Hopes for 2026:
-Read a book a month (been trying to get back to reading, failed a lot, hoping to fix that by lowering expectations)
-Track my commissions fully through the year (I have done this off and on before, I want to do better this year so I have a total number for word count, pages, etc.)
-Have a driver’s license by the end of the year
-Host friends at least a few times (one arranged for January already, WOO!)
-Take several trips in USA (one tentatively planned for end of January/February)
-Write more for myself (aiming for 2-3 stories per month, but also knowing better than to over-plan)
-Take therapy seriously and get as much out of it as I can
-Spend more time doing things I like (listening to music, dancing, going to events)
Is it as specific as I’d like? No. Is it something that I know I can achieve? Also no. Are these things that I think would make me happy? I don’t know, but I hope.
There’s so many things that I used to enjoy. So many things that I used to do as a general rule that made me happy in the past. I used to love running D&D games. I used to love reading. I used to love doing so many little things, but over the years, they were slowly stripped out of me. I stopped enjoying them as more and more necessity was forced on me. Whether I can get out of that and enjoy them again – or find other things that work if they no longer do – is up to me, and therapy. Thankfully, I’m already in the latter, so here’s hoping that I can get something good out of it.
I’ll try and do more responses on this over the year, preferably in ‘State of the Author’ posts every month, but, uh, we’ll see how that goes.
Anyway. The last part.
Reminder:
2026 may be following up on a shitty year for you. It may be that you have very little hopes for it being better, and you’re bracing yourself for something horrific to happen in the near future. We have no idea what will come in the future with the craziness that’s running across the USA and so many other countries right now.
But that’s the beauty of it all, and the saving grace.
We. Don’t. Know.
The fact that we don’t know where it’s going to go says that we’ve started to turn some kind of corner. There’s no longer the pure existential dread that we’ve had for the last year. Of course, we’re not out of danger yet, and there’s so much more to push for, and there’s no real letting up…but it’s not a complete fighting retreat anymore.
Things are changing. Things are slowly getting better. There’s so much that we can point at and say ‘We’re improving.’
Hold onto that. Hold onto the hope that we can keep making things better. Remember that we can be there for each other, that there’s enough goodness in ourselves, in our friends, and in our communities that we can still make a good life.
2025 was a hell of a year. Let’s make 2026 a different kind of hell. The fun kind.
Happy New Year, everyone!It’s obligatory, we gotta do it.
Anyway, I won’t take up too much of your time. I know that you’re reading all these things from everyone else all over the internet, probably getting a bunch of standard announcements from all the people that you follow. So, let’s just cut to the chase: what was done, what I want to happen, and a general reminder.
Accomplishments for 2025:
-166 commissions posted over 2025 (and more written, I’m just, as usual, lazy about the uploading process)
-Several new friends gained (and learned that I’m respected by people that I really look up to, fucking awesome)
-Managed my usual trip to the UK during the summer months (GOD does that fuck with my productivity, but it was still nice)
-Started learning to drive (SO fucking nervous about that, but fingers crossed it goes well at 36)
-Restarted doing game stories for people
-Did my first Professional Worldbuilding commission for someone
-Started making a dent in the patreon rewards I still owe people
-Started doing some personal stories to force some creativity and have started building them into commission lists
-SURVIVED
I want anyone that managed to get through 2025 to make it a note that they did. I want everyone that managed to keep their heads above water and stay with us to celebrate that fact. Whether they did it with spite, with good planning, or through sheer good luck, the fact that you did is something that you should celebrate.
You.
Are.
Awesome.
You made it through, and that means that you still have the chance to get something better out of life than you have. I can’t wait to see what you do going forward. You all have something to give, and I hope you get the chance to give it to the person that needs it, even – and especially – if that person is yourself.
Hopes for 2026:
-Read a book a month (been trying to get back to reading, failed a lot, hoping to fix that by lowering expectations)
-Track my commissions fully through the year (I have done this off and on before, I want to do better this year so I have a total number for word count, pages, etc.)
-Have a driver’s license by the end of the year
-Host friends at least a few times (one arranged for January already, WOO!)
-Take several trips in USA (one tentatively planned for end of January/February)
-Write more for myself (aiming for 2-3 stories per month, but also knowing better than to over-plan)
-Take therapy seriously and get as much out of it as I can
-Spend more time doing things I like (listening to music, dancing, going to events)
Is it as specific as I’d like? No. Is it something that I know I can achieve? Also no. Are these things that I think would make me happy? I don’t know, but I hope.
There’s so many things that I used to enjoy. So many things that I used to do as a general rule that made me happy in the past. I used to love running D&D games. I used to love reading. I used to love doing so many little things, but over the years, they were slowly stripped out of me. I stopped enjoying them as more and more necessity was forced on me. Whether I can get out of that and enjoy them again – or find other things that work if they no longer do – is up to me, and therapy. Thankfully, I’m already in the latter, so here’s hoping that I can get something good out of it.
I’ll try and do more responses on this over the year, preferably in ‘State of the Author’ posts every month, but, uh, we’ll see how that goes.
Anyway. The last part.
Reminder:
2026 may be following up on a shitty year for you. It may be that you have very little hopes for it being better, and you’re bracing yourself for something horrific to happen in the near future. We have no idea what will come in the future with the craziness that’s running across the USA and so many other countries right now.
But that’s the beauty of it all, and the saving grace.
We. Don’t. Know.
The fact that we don’t know where it’s going to go says that we’ve started to turn some kind of corner. There’s no longer the pure existential dread that we’ve had for the last year. Of course, we’re not out of danger yet, and there’s so much more to push for, and there’s no real letting up…but it’s not a complete fighting retreat anymore.
Things are changing. Things are slowly getting better. There’s so much that we can point at and say ‘We’re improving.’
Hold onto that. Hold onto the hope that we can keep making things better. Remember that we can be there for each other, that there’s enough goodness in ourselves, in our friends, and in our communities that we can still make a good life.
2025 was a hell of a year. Let’s make 2026 a different kind of hell. The fun kind.
Artist Recommendations? (Could Use Some)
General | Posted 4 months agoHey everyone, hope that you all had a good Christmas. Didn’t do much myself, but it was nice enough.
Anyway, wanted to ask a little favor.
I’ve realized that I’ve gotten a little stagnant with the people I watch. Some of the artists on my watch list haven’t posted anything in years, and I’ve stopped searching around for new stuff or new people as much as I used to.
I’d love to hear some recommendations for artists you think I should follow, people that I might not know yet or who you love. Doesn’t matter the style or kink for recommendations, as I’ll peruse the articles of most anyone you send, but I’d like to add to the watch list with more active people around here.
Just drop a username in the comments, or maybe some direct links to some of the art you think is particularly good from an artist.
Thanks in advance.
Anyway, wanted to ask a little favor.
I’ve realized that I’ve gotten a little stagnant with the people I watch. Some of the artists on my watch list haven’t posted anything in years, and I’ve stopped searching around for new stuff or new people as much as I used to.
I’d love to hear some recommendations for artists you think I should follow, people that I might not know yet or who you love. Doesn’t matter the style or kink for recommendations, as I’ll peruse the articles of most anyone you send, but I’d like to add to the watch list with more active people around here.
Just drop a username in the comments, or maybe some direct links to some of the art you think is particularly good from an artist.
Thanks in advance.
Commission Winners
General | Posted 4 months agoThanks to everyone who joined in the commission openings. I expanded the number of slots that I took in (probably shouldn't, but want to give more people a chance for stories) and here's the list of who got in, and for what.
Doofus for 2 miniseries chapters
Ultilix for 4 miniseries chapters
GlynWolf for 3 sponsored stories (Ace on Tape, Starfox XXX, and Colorful Council)
Dreixes for 4 miniseries chapters
DrakeHavok for an Author's Pleasure 9-pager
Delta for 1 10-pager
lightsun168 for 4 miniseries chapters
SaltirePhoenix for 1 10-pager
Dexter Otter for 2 miniseries chapters and 1 sponsored story
Roureem for 1 10-pager and 1 sponsored chapter (Starfox adventures parody)
Pause for 2 miniseries chapters
FriskeCrisps for 2 9-pagers
In addition, we have potentially 4 brainstorming sessions for:
FriskeCrisps
angelus288
Franco731
Summercide
Thanks for everyone popping in and trying out the raffle. If you won, or were mentioned here, please get in touch via email at spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com . When you email me (for anything but a sponsored story), please include a filled out write-up template (FOUND HERE), including all the asked-for information. A sample version is below the blank page. If you're getting a sponsored story that isn't a series being continued, please give me any information (characters, etc) that I'll need to do it.
Thanks again for everyone joining in, and looking forward to getting this done for you.
Doofus for 2 miniseries chapters Ultilix for 4 miniseries chapters
GlynWolf for 3 sponsored stories (Ace on Tape, Starfox XXX, and Colorful Council)
Dreixes for 4 miniseries chapters
DrakeHavok for an Author's Pleasure 9-pager
Delta for 1 10-pager lightsun168 for 4 miniseries chapters
SaltirePhoenix for 1 10-pager
Dexter Otter for 2 miniseries chapters and 1 sponsored story
Roureem for 1 10-pager and 1 sponsored chapter (Starfox adventures parody)
Pause for 2 miniseries chapters FriskeCrisps for 2 9-pagersIn addition, we have potentially 4 brainstorming sessions for:
FriskeCrisps angelus288 
Franco731 Summercide Thanks for everyone popping in and trying out the raffle. If you won, or were mentioned here, please get in touch via email at spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com . When you email me (for anything but a sponsored story), please include a filled out write-up template (FOUND HERE), including all the asked-for information. A sample version is below the blank page. If you're getting a sponsored story that isn't a series being continued, please give me any information (characters, etc) that I'll need to do it.
Thanks again for everyone joining in, and looking forward to getting this done for you.
When Will Commissions Get Done?
General | Posted 5 months agoI suppose I should talk a bit more about the lack of comms getting done of late. It’s been…well, too long, far too long, and I should say something.
I don’t know what happened to me when I got back from the UK back in September. I genuinely wanted to get back to work, wanted to get the stuff that I owed people done, and wanted to hit the ground running so I could do a kink-tober/kink-vember thing this year. I wanted to write a lot of stuff, break ground, do some really great stories so I could open up and make sure that people could get some holiday commissions, too.
That very clearly didn’t happen.
So, what did happen?
Depression? Yeah, a bit. Family deaths, feeling behind, constant demotivation as the list of stories never seemed to shrink: all those things hit me, and I ended up doing less and less because I just couldn’t find it in me to do the things I was obligated to do.
Real life stuff? Some. I felt pressured for time, pressured for things that needed to be taken care of. I focused on that a bit more, and I ended up ignoring writing further.
Hating my stuff? A lot of that. I’ve struggled for years to see my writing as good for more than half a day, and most of the time, I wonder why people bother to get things from me. There are times when I feel like I am pretty good, and it’s one reason why I will always push for comments from people. The more that I hear back, the more that I can hold onto the feeling that maybe my work is worth something to someone, and it’s not just the fact that I’m available. And it's one reason why I struggle to complete anything that’s just mine, because it goes from “Oh, cool idea!” to “Why the fuck am I bothering with something so stupid?” in maaaaaaybe 72 hours.
I’ve had that last one somewhat under control for a while, but every so often it flares up and fucks with…well, a lot.
Last one is just a whole lot less focus than usual. I’ve struggled to keep up proper twitch stream lengths, I’ve taken longer to do anything that I normally do, and I’ve been wanting to flip from task to task much more than I used to. I don’t know what the hell caused this, but I’m hating it.
Best guess, we hit a perfect storm of those four plus some other categories post getting home and I got fucked.
So, what am I doing about this?
First, I’m getting therapy. First date for that is December 8th, and that will hopefully start giving me the tools to get my focus back and not be quite so easily pulled into depressive spirals.
Second, I’ve been writing more for myself to get around some of the writing hate, doing little gift pieces that I like as well as just indulging some writing and kink that makes me happy. It’s not been perfect, but I was deliberately focusing on “Okay, I’m wanting to do this, no thinking about it, just do it and try and enjoy it” with that writing. It hasn’t fixed things, but it made me a little happier to put digital pen to digital paper for the first time in a while.
Third, I’ve talked things out with roommates to give me this little bit more room with stuff and have a little more help with keeping the house in order.
Fourth, I’m trying to be more forthright and forthcoming about what I need, and indulging myself more on social media and other places, as well as giving myself space to do more things I want alongside the commissions.
Now, I’m still not sure how to build this up properly, or what the schedule is going to be going forward, but I am getting back to work tomorrow with at least one of the stories I owe people, hopefully more. I want to get this done as soon as I can, but we’ll see how long it takes.
Thank you, everyone, for being patient, and I hope I can earn back trust on how long it takes me to get shit done.
I don’t know what happened to me when I got back from the UK back in September. I genuinely wanted to get back to work, wanted to get the stuff that I owed people done, and wanted to hit the ground running so I could do a kink-tober/kink-vember thing this year. I wanted to write a lot of stuff, break ground, do some really great stories so I could open up and make sure that people could get some holiday commissions, too.
That very clearly didn’t happen.
So, what did happen?
Depression? Yeah, a bit. Family deaths, feeling behind, constant demotivation as the list of stories never seemed to shrink: all those things hit me, and I ended up doing less and less because I just couldn’t find it in me to do the things I was obligated to do.
Real life stuff? Some. I felt pressured for time, pressured for things that needed to be taken care of. I focused on that a bit more, and I ended up ignoring writing further.
Hating my stuff? A lot of that. I’ve struggled for years to see my writing as good for more than half a day, and most of the time, I wonder why people bother to get things from me. There are times when I feel like I am pretty good, and it’s one reason why I will always push for comments from people. The more that I hear back, the more that I can hold onto the feeling that maybe my work is worth something to someone, and it’s not just the fact that I’m available. And it's one reason why I struggle to complete anything that’s just mine, because it goes from “Oh, cool idea!” to “Why the fuck am I bothering with something so stupid?” in maaaaaaybe 72 hours.
I’ve had that last one somewhat under control for a while, but every so often it flares up and fucks with…well, a lot.
Last one is just a whole lot less focus than usual. I’ve struggled to keep up proper twitch stream lengths, I’ve taken longer to do anything that I normally do, and I’ve been wanting to flip from task to task much more than I used to. I don’t know what the hell caused this, but I’m hating it.
Best guess, we hit a perfect storm of those four plus some other categories post getting home and I got fucked.
So, what am I doing about this?
First, I’m getting therapy. First date for that is December 8th, and that will hopefully start giving me the tools to get my focus back and not be quite so easily pulled into depressive spirals.
Second, I’ve been writing more for myself to get around some of the writing hate, doing little gift pieces that I like as well as just indulging some writing and kink that makes me happy. It’s not been perfect, but I was deliberately focusing on “Okay, I’m wanting to do this, no thinking about it, just do it and try and enjoy it” with that writing. It hasn’t fixed things, but it made me a little happier to put digital pen to digital paper for the first time in a while.
Third, I’ve talked things out with roommates to give me this little bit more room with stuff and have a little more help with keeping the house in order.
Fourth, I’m trying to be more forthright and forthcoming about what I need, and indulging myself more on social media and other places, as well as giving myself space to do more things I want alongside the commissions.
Now, I’m still not sure how to build this up properly, or what the schedule is going to be going forward, but I am getting back to work tomorrow with at least one of the stories I owe people, hopefully more. I want to get this done as soon as I can, but we’ll see how long it takes.
Thank you, everyone, for being patient, and I hope I can earn back trust on how long it takes me to get shit done.
What The Hell, People?
General | Posted 5 months agoHey everyone, just had a little something I wanted to say. Is there much point to this? Probably not – I trust that most people that read my journals already have similar views as me, or at least, aren’t diametrically opposed on the important shit – but I’ve been seeing some stuff bubbling elsewhere that I wanted to talk about.
I’m a big fan of a certain artist’s comic. This comic – and I’m keeping this relatively vague to avoid bloating things and because I’ve not discussed talking about this with them – involves a number of characters. Male, female, non-binary, all in a fantasy world, all with magic, all with kink and casual fun.
Recently, one of the characters discovered that they are not the gender that they’ve thought they were. Magic was involved, allowing them to change their body to the gender that they thought they might be, and there was a lot of gender euphoria from the character. This was done, in my opinion, very well.
Unfortunately, that has not been the opinion of a number of people.
Now, if this was merely a drop-off in views, or a few quiet comments about being surprised or something like that, or even just dealing with something that they hadn’t expected and they needed time to process that, that would have been understandable. A bit disheartening, I suppose, but understandable.
Instead, there was fucking bullshit.
Again. I am not naming names, not from the artist, not the comic, not anything else. I am sticking within the bounds of privacy, and of avoiding callout stuff, because I don’t want to go shouting at these people. I want to talk about the way that this shit is a perfect example as to why trans people can have a very uneasy relationship with the rest of the queer community, and more to the point, why a lot of trans people will go out of their way to not come out of the closet, even among those that are supposed to be their allies.
Imagine being trans and wanting to embrace that, only to be told that you are being ‘influenced’ by others, that you’re confused, that you can be non-traditionally your gender and just because you don’t feel ‘traditionally’ masculine or feminine doesn’t mean you have to be something else.
Imagine being told that your discovery of who you really want to be doesn’t make sense, that they never saw this and thus your discovery of yourself is invalid.
Imagine others looking at you and liking you as a man or a woman, but suddenly wanting to be anywhere else as soon as you want to be the other.
In one fell swoop, you go from an adult, a person, to being a child-thing in the eyes of others. Something – not someone, something – that cannot know what is best for them, that is too immature to be allowed to make their own choices, who is being petty and spiteful by daring to try and do something without the permission of society as a whole.
You are ostracized.
You are demeaned.
You are humiliated.
And that is before you take into account how people that should be your allies treat you. The infamous TERF movements of how trans women are just men invading a woman’s space, with unfortunate lesbian allies. Gay men who treat both trans men as ‘just women’ since they don’t have a ‘natural dick’ or treat trans women as either a fetish or something worse. Hell, there’s a huge fetishizing thing toward trans people where objectification masquerades as acceptance purely so that people can get off on it, and too many see that as respect for the gender rather than what it really is.
This is beyond the pale. It’s one thing to be hit with this in the world of heteronormative people, but in the queer community, we’re supposed to be better than this.
It’s one thing to not be attracted to someone anymore if they change. That’s fine. We all deserve the same freedoms to be ourselves, and true to ourselves.
But that means that they have the right to discover, embrace, and enjoy themselves, to be happy, to be genuine, just like we do.
When a trans person tells you who they are, believe them.
When a trans person celebrates who they’ve become, celebrate with them.
And for the love of fuck, don’t go asking them to prove it, or explain it, or say that they needed to be clearer before, or anything of that sort. Let them be their own person. Let them be what they want to be. We spend enough time fighting to get the right to do that ourselves, so why the fuck are we making others fight us for the same thing?
And if you don’t care? If you don’t want to see it? Then keep in mind your choice to not interact includes not saying shit.
I’ve not always been perfect. I’ve used words that were hurtful to the trans community in past stories, and I’ve not always understood what it means to go through life the way that they do. I’ve had to do a lot of learning, and I’ve done my best to be better going forward, and to support them, and to be on the right side for everyone in the queer community. It costs me nothing to give others the freedom to say who they are, to believe them, and to treat them with the same respect and civility and joy that they treat me with.
I still have more to learn, and there’s more I can do and ways that I can do it better. But I will always challenge stupidity and bullshit when it comes to people I care about, and I care a lot about a great deal of people.
Like I said at the start, I feel that most people that would read this are already on the same page as me. Most of you don’t need to hear this. But for those of you that do, please know where I stand on this, and know I’ll always challenge the bullshit.
I’m a big fan of a certain artist’s comic. This comic – and I’m keeping this relatively vague to avoid bloating things and because I’ve not discussed talking about this with them – involves a number of characters. Male, female, non-binary, all in a fantasy world, all with magic, all with kink and casual fun.
Recently, one of the characters discovered that they are not the gender that they’ve thought they were. Magic was involved, allowing them to change their body to the gender that they thought they might be, and there was a lot of gender euphoria from the character. This was done, in my opinion, very well.
Unfortunately, that has not been the opinion of a number of people.
Now, if this was merely a drop-off in views, or a few quiet comments about being surprised or something like that, or even just dealing with something that they hadn’t expected and they needed time to process that, that would have been understandable. A bit disheartening, I suppose, but understandable.
Instead, there was fucking bullshit.
Again. I am not naming names, not from the artist, not the comic, not anything else. I am sticking within the bounds of privacy, and of avoiding callout stuff, because I don’t want to go shouting at these people. I want to talk about the way that this shit is a perfect example as to why trans people can have a very uneasy relationship with the rest of the queer community, and more to the point, why a lot of trans people will go out of their way to not come out of the closet, even among those that are supposed to be their allies.
Imagine being trans and wanting to embrace that, only to be told that you are being ‘influenced’ by others, that you’re confused, that you can be non-traditionally your gender and just because you don’t feel ‘traditionally’ masculine or feminine doesn’t mean you have to be something else.
Imagine being told that your discovery of who you really want to be doesn’t make sense, that they never saw this and thus your discovery of yourself is invalid.
Imagine others looking at you and liking you as a man or a woman, but suddenly wanting to be anywhere else as soon as you want to be the other.
In one fell swoop, you go from an adult, a person, to being a child-thing in the eyes of others. Something – not someone, something – that cannot know what is best for them, that is too immature to be allowed to make their own choices, who is being petty and spiteful by daring to try and do something without the permission of society as a whole.
You are ostracized.
You are demeaned.
You are humiliated.
And that is before you take into account how people that should be your allies treat you. The infamous TERF movements of how trans women are just men invading a woman’s space, with unfortunate lesbian allies. Gay men who treat both trans men as ‘just women’ since they don’t have a ‘natural dick’ or treat trans women as either a fetish or something worse. Hell, there’s a huge fetishizing thing toward trans people where objectification masquerades as acceptance purely so that people can get off on it, and too many see that as respect for the gender rather than what it really is.
This is beyond the pale. It’s one thing to be hit with this in the world of heteronormative people, but in the queer community, we’re supposed to be better than this.
It’s one thing to not be attracted to someone anymore if they change. That’s fine. We all deserve the same freedoms to be ourselves, and true to ourselves.
But that means that they have the right to discover, embrace, and enjoy themselves, to be happy, to be genuine, just like we do.
When a trans person tells you who they are, believe them.
When a trans person celebrates who they’ve become, celebrate with them.
And for the love of fuck, don’t go asking them to prove it, or explain it, or say that they needed to be clearer before, or anything of that sort. Let them be their own person. Let them be what they want to be. We spend enough time fighting to get the right to do that ourselves, so why the fuck are we making others fight us for the same thing?
And if you don’t care? If you don’t want to see it? Then keep in mind your choice to not interact includes not saying shit.
I’ve not always been perfect. I’ve used words that were hurtful to the trans community in past stories, and I’ve not always understood what it means to go through life the way that they do. I’ve had to do a lot of learning, and I’ve done my best to be better going forward, and to support them, and to be on the right side for everyone in the queer community. It costs me nothing to give others the freedom to say who they are, to believe them, and to treat them with the same respect and civility and joy that they treat me with.
I still have more to learn, and there’s more I can do and ways that I can do it better. But I will always challenge stupidity and bullshit when it comes to people I care about, and I care a lot about a great deal of people.
Like I said at the start, I feel that most people that would read this are already on the same page as me. Most of you don’t need to hear this. But for those of you that do, please know where I stand on this, and know I’ll always challenge the bullshit.
Another Update, Tired+Sad+Ugh
General | Posted 5 months agoAnother Update (Can Life Give Me A Break?)Alright. Gonna keep this quick so I can attempt to get a few things done today.
Yesterday, I got the call that my grandmother died. Apparently, it was sometime in the last few days to the last week or so. I don’t know the specifics of when, I just know that apparently she checked out of the hospital against medical advice, got sepsis, and had liver lesions when she died later.
Is that a clinical way of putting it? Perhaps.
I’m currently dealing with the fact that, with her passing, that means that there’s nobody left in the family tree above me. Nobody that really counts, anyway. I technically have an uncle who is an absolutely horrendous person, but that is neither here nor there, as he has never been part of my life.
All my grandparents are dead. Both my mom and my bio-dad, horrible person that he was, are dead. My stepdad, who only met me when I was thirteen, has been basically out of my life since my mom died two years ago. And I’m the oldest child in my generation, neither of my other siblings having kids.
Which means I’ve essentially gone from the bottom of the tree to the top in two years. I’m thirty-six. This shouldn’t have happened this fast.
I don’t know when or if grief for my grandmother will descend. We weren’t that close toward the end of her life, partially due to politics, partially because she got worse to be around. Partially just not with it as much (which is hard to deal with, even though one should be compassionate, and I was as best I could), but also just…nastier. Harder to love, didn’t give as much back, and just…hard.
But what I do know is that I’m grieving the loss of something else. It’s hard to name it, but it’s there.
Without anyone over me, there’s no longer that sense of someone more experienced in the family that might have an answer. There’s no security for when hard questions come in. There’s no sense of the family that might once have given love being there. There’s no previous-generation support left, because they’re all dead.
And it’s not just the loss of that comfort. It’s the reminder that my memory is now the oldest and only remaining collection of my own life that’s as ‘total’ as I can get. There’s nobody older than me that was part of my life to remember it anymore. There’s nobody else that knew me, watched me, understood me to a large extent, and had that large databank of my life in their brains. I have to remember my own life, as fully and completely as I can, because there’s not anybody else that knows me, or at least those parts of me. Anyone that knows me now knows me only as an adult, of how I’ve been online (and somewhat off) since my twenties. Everything else?
That’s up to me.
And it’s kinda lonely in that space, knowing that, well, I’m just going to lose more as the years go by. I’ve had three fucked-up things in rapid succession, after all.
2023: Mom dies and the family splits
2024: I lose another good friend, and my bio-dad dies (not sad for him being gone, but it was one more person that was between me and death)
2025: My grandmother dies, basically erasing the previous two generations
And it just feels like…can life just take a break for a bit?
I guess this was more of a ramble than an update, but that’s where I am at the moment. Just…ugh.
Back to work. More stuff for you guys later.
Happy Birthday to Me
General | Posted 5 months agoHey, everyone, just doing a little birthday post (which you probably already heard me talk about before, but whatever, heh).
The Fifth of November (remember, remember) has come around. 36 years around the sun for me today, and about 15 of which I’ve spent writing for people here and other places. I’ve done a lot with that, and I hope to keep going.
Not sure what I’m going to do with my day yet, but if you want to do something simple for my birthday, just do this.
Tell me something you like, you’ve seen, you’ve enjoyed about me.
If you’re a stranger, talk about my work.
If you’re a friend, talk about something you’ve enjoyed about me.
If you’re closer (or have something in mind), tell me how I’ve affected you. Doesn’t have to be a huge life-changing thing, because that’s overdone, but let me know what me, my work, or anything else about me has done for you. Lifted your heart, given you a good day, just…anything, really.
Life’s been filled with so many moments that make one wonder if they’ve mattered, if what they do means much. Hearing back from others, knowing I’ve been seen, enjoyed, known, is both a great gift and a great way of keeping that at bay.
So, if something occurs, please say something today.
Happy birthday to me.
The Fifth of November (remember, remember) has come around. 36 years around the sun for me today, and about 15 of which I’ve spent writing for people here and other places. I’ve done a lot with that, and I hope to keep going.
Not sure what I’m going to do with my day yet, but if you want to do something simple for my birthday, just do this.
Tell me something you like, you’ve seen, you’ve enjoyed about me.
If you’re a stranger, talk about my work.
If you’re a friend, talk about something you’ve enjoyed about me.
If you’re closer (or have something in mind), tell me how I’ve affected you. Doesn’t have to be a huge life-changing thing, because that’s overdone, but let me know what me, my work, or anything else about me has done for you. Lifted your heart, given you a good day, just…anything, really.
Life’s been filled with so many moments that make one wonder if they’ve mattered, if what they do means much. Hearing back from others, knowing I’ve been seen, enjoyed, known, is both a great gift and a great way of keeping that at bay.
So, if something occurs, please say something today.
Happy birthday to me.
Apologies for Delays, plus Personal Ramble
General | Posted 6 months agoHey, everyone.
Just wanting to check in and give another update. It’s been a little bit, so, figure you’re due.
Here’s the basics first. I’ve been very up and down with productivity for the last couple of weeks (obviously, if you’ve been watching the Trello). I’ve apologized for this before, and I won’t sour that by doing the same thing again. You know I’m sorry, and you know I’m working as quickly as I can on your commissions, Kink-Tober, and other things of that nature.
But these are, to some extent, excuses. I am clearly failing on a number of levels and not measuring up to the past speed and focus that I’ve had for the services I’ve offered. I want to be better, but at this point, I’m not sure how.
I know that my work has been declining in speed, reliability, and regularity for a while. It took a definite dive in 2023 when my mom passed, but even after COVID, it was on the downturn after having to rev up and do as much as I did then.
I want to get it back to where it used to be, but then I think of how much of a workaholic I was then, how much that consumed my life, how that was all I was doing, and I wonder if I could even come close to that without going into a depression. I was pretty lucky that I didn’t go into that to begin with, looking back on it.
I do plan on getting some therapy – hopefully – at the end of this year with some help, but who knows how much that’ll shift things. Probably at least a little bit; I’ve been living with a certain level of existential dread for a while now and I’ve been shaky whenever death stuff comes up in media and other things, and that’s gotta be doing something to fuck with my ability to be creative and reliable.
Honestly, I guess this is more of a ramble about how I am at the moment than any real updates. I wish I could offer some timetable of when things are going to be done, when you’ll get what you’re owed, when you will be able to have your product, but every time I’ve started to settle in, I get whammied down again and the schedule goes off and I feel shitty about it. So, I’m going to keep powering through, doing what I can, and I’ll get it to you with as best update on timing as I can.
I said I’ve already apologized, but I have to say it again. I’m sorry for failing on this as often as I have. I want to be better, and I’ll seek ways to get better.
Thank you for your patience. It is endlessly appreciated.
Just wanting to check in and give another update. It’s been a little bit, so, figure you’re due.
Here’s the basics first. I’ve been very up and down with productivity for the last couple of weeks (obviously, if you’ve been watching the Trello). I’ve apologized for this before, and I won’t sour that by doing the same thing again. You know I’m sorry, and you know I’m working as quickly as I can on your commissions, Kink-Tober, and other things of that nature.
But these are, to some extent, excuses. I am clearly failing on a number of levels and not measuring up to the past speed and focus that I’ve had for the services I’ve offered. I want to be better, but at this point, I’m not sure how.
I know that my work has been declining in speed, reliability, and regularity for a while. It took a definite dive in 2023 when my mom passed, but even after COVID, it was on the downturn after having to rev up and do as much as I did then.
I want to get it back to where it used to be, but then I think of how much of a workaholic I was then, how much that consumed my life, how that was all I was doing, and I wonder if I could even come close to that without going into a depression. I was pretty lucky that I didn’t go into that to begin with, looking back on it.
I do plan on getting some therapy – hopefully – at the end of this year with some help, but who knows how much that’ll shift things. Probably at least a little bit; I’ve been living with a certain level of existential dread for a while now and I’ve been shaky whenever death stuff comes up in media and other things, and that’s gotta be doing something to fuck with my ability to be creative and reliable.
Honestly, I guess this is more of a ramble about how I am at the moment than any real updates. I wish I could offer some timetable of when things are going to be done, when you’ll get what you’re owed, when you will be able to have your product, but every time I’ve started to settle in, I get whammied down again and the schedule goes off and I feel shitty about it. So, I’m going to keep powering through, doing what I can, and I’ll get it to you with as best update on timing as I can.
I said I’ve already apologized, but I have to say it again. I’m sorry for failing on this as often as I have. I want to be better, and I’ll seek ways to get better.
Thank you for your patience. It is endlessly appreciated.
Kink-Tober Slots (All but One Taken)
General | Posted 6 months agoWell, kink-tober slots are almost all taken. There's only one slot open (slot #20). If you want to have it, go to the link below:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62608079/
and claim it in the comments. As for who has the other slots, here's the takings so far.
1.
RoflLion
2. LykusAzorious
3.
NerubianKnight
4.
Aggron
5. NerubianKnight
6.
VelvetBun
7. Franco731
8. Damiekinz
9. LykusAzorious
10.
Shorkie
11. Damiekinz
12.
Arkto
13.
Tarnish.exe
14. Dreixes
15.
SchnuppeFloof
16.
criticalshot1239
17. NerubianKnight
18. Damiekinz
19. Dreixes
20.
21.
Vanrixie
22. RayO_ElGatubelo
23.
Huntingdon
24. Dreixes
25. Franco731
26. LykusAzorious
27. VelvetBun
28.
SuperDuperDog
29. hazrondo
30.
xaviouswolffe
31. hazrondo
If anyone has not sent me an email to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com with character info, preferences that I need to know, and your invoicing address, please do so now.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62608079/
and claim it in the comments. As for who has the other slots, here's the takings so far.
1.
RoflLion2.
LykusAzorious3.
NerubianKnight4.
Aggron5.
NerubianKnight6.
VelvetBun7.
Franco7318.
Damiekinz9.
LykusAzorious10.
Shorkie11.
Damiekinz12.
Arkto13.
Tarnish.exe14.
Dreixes15.
SchnuppeFloof16.
criticalshot123917.
NerubianKnight18.
Damiekinz19.
Dreixes20.
21.
Vanrixie22.
RayO_ElGatubelo23.
Huntingdon24.
Dreixes25.
Franco73126.
LykusAzorious27.
VelvetBun28.
SuperDuperDog29.
hazrondo30.
xaviouswolffe31.
hazrondoIf anyone has not sent me an email to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com with character info, preferences that I need to know, and your invoicing address, please do so now.
Kink-Tober Leftovers
General | Posted 6 months agoWow, didn't expect people to be that eager for the stuff on the Kink-Tober list, though it's really nice to see.
If you haven't looked yet, you can find it here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62608079/
Currently, the only ones left are slots 1, 20, 23, and 30. No idea how long these will last, so if you genuinely want one, you might want to consider getting it sooner than later.
If you haven't looked yet, you can find it here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/62608079/
Currently, the only ones left are slots 1, 20, 23, and 30. No idea how long these will last, so if you genuinely want one, you might want to consider getting it sooner than later.
Comms, Future Plans for Streams, Personal Stuff
General | Posted 6 months agoTime for another update journal! Let’s divide this into commissions, future plans, and personal, shall we?
Commissions
I’m still making my way through the list. Since getting back and getting over a hell of a flu or cold or something, I’ve knocked the remaining comms down to:
harute11 4 chapters
Franco731 4 chapters
TogSwitch 2 chapters
EasternFox 1 chapter
And 13 (hopefully 12 by end of day) splurge chapters to go.
With the current progress and the speed at which I hope to keep going, I should have all the stuff in the current queue done by Monday, October 20th. If anything changes with the queue, I’ll make sure to let everyone know.
That said, the raffle for comms – and something else – will be open before then, probably around October 12-ish. That way, everyone can get what they need put together before I get started with another cycle.
Thank you for your patience on this one. I started out doing a few stories while overseas, but it ended up being as impossible as ever. I really should learn my lesson from this. Well, at least I’m not staying over there for two months anymore and letting things really pile up.
Anyway, moving on.
Future Plans
As some of you might have noticed, certain things have fallen a bit by the wayside, such as the weekly streams. I used to do those every single week, but ever since moving out, I’ve struggled with having the energy to do that reliably, particularly with any kind of other work during the day. Other things – themed parts of the year, charity work, and other things – have also fallen away.
I want to bring some of that back, so here’s some hopeful plans.
Kink-Tober
First one will be Kink-Tober. Starting late? God, yes, but better late than never. My kink-tober will be spread over the last bit of October and the start/middle of November. The themes will be announced before the 12th, but will be put up as slots to buy around that time. If you want to get a discounted 10-pager, that’d be the time to go looking.
Charity Work
I doubt that I’ll have the time and space to get the charity work done for Christmas this year, but I think that January should be far enough off for me to be able to find a charity, set up a comfortable bank for myself, and then get to work on a charity auction to help someone out. So, no Christmas charity this year, but January should still happen.
Themed Streams
I’ve learned that I’m not going to be able to do these in the same way that I used to, so we’re going to try a few different ways of doing themed streams going forward. These include:
-Week of Streams: Replace the regular commissions with themed streams, ranging from 3-6 pages per person. Takes advantage of the fact that I have more energy in the morning than the evening, and maybe make it more fun. (Not doing this very often)
-Floating Streams: Experimenting with themed streams on different days of the week to try and find days where I have more energy and can do it properly.
-A Story A Day: Taking sign-ups on Sunday and doing 1 3-pager a day throughout the week, allowing for more sign-ups and less immediate work investment.
Not sure which I’ll go for, will probably experiment with them all at some point, but wanted to let you know I was still thinking of them.
And now, finally…
Personal
Last part of the update, just a couple of personal things that I’ve been thinking about since I got home at the end of September.
First off, I’ve learned that I’m quite a bit more of a routine-based person than I ever really realized. Being in the UK from the end of August to the end of September completely fucked my routine, and that meant that I was kind of depressed despite finding a number of fun outlets while there. The fact that my routine focuses around my kitchen and my people (my roommates and some online people only available in my time zone) means that it’s a lot harder to recreate that elsewhere. It’s been a little reminder to prioritize the things that I love, because otherwise I can get real miserable real fast.
Secondly, and mildly contradictorily, I’m finding myself wanting to go and see things, particularly locally. Earlier this year, me and my roommates took a trip around the Olympic Peninsula, and that was about as beautiful as it gets in certain ways. Seeing Cape Flattery, going through parts of the Hoh, and going past Ruby Beach and La Push was honestly awe-inspiring, and I want to explore more of my neck of the woods. So, yes, travel, but not so far off, and not so long-lasting for a bit. This will likely lead to momentary work interruptions, but considering how I am a plan-for-everything bitch, that’ll mean that I know it’s coming, and I can give you guys heads-up when it’s happening.
Might post pictures, too.
Last of all, I’m starting to think of an approaching date: November 5th, AKA my birthday. No idea what I’m going to do for it yet (other than take the day off from work) but I’ll figure out more as it gets closer to the date. Might try something special for creative stuff, no idea. At any rate, if people wanted to know when this dragon celebrates his birthday, that’s the day.
Anyway, there’s your updates, thought I’d keep you current. Back to work for me.
Commissions
I’m still making my way through the list. Since getting back and getting over a hell of a flu or cold or something, I’ve knocked the remaining comms down to:
harute11 4 chapters Franco731 4 chapters
TogSwitch 2 chapters
EasternFox 1 chapterAnd 13 (hopefully 12 by end of day) splurge chapters to go.
With the current progress and the speed at which I hope to keep going, I should have all the stuff in the current queue done by Monday, October 20th. If anything changes with the queue, I’ll make sure to let everyone know.
That said, the raffle for comms – and something else – will be open before then, probably around October 12-ish. That way, everyone can get what they need put together before I get started with another cycle.
Thank you for your patience on this one. I started out doing a few stories while overseas, but it ended up being as impossible as ever. I really should learn my lesson from this. Well, at least I’m not staying over there for two months anymore and letting things really pile up.
Anyway, moving on.
Future Plans
As some of you might have noticed, certain things have fallen a bit by the wayside, such as the weekly streams. I used to do those every single week, but ever since moving out, I’ve struggled with having the energy to do that reliably, particularly with any kind of other work during the day. Other things – themed parts of the year, charity work, and other things – have also fallen away.
I want to bring some of that back, so here’s some hopeful plans.
Kink-Tober
First one will be Kink-Tober. Starting late? God, yes, but better late than never. My kink-tober will be spread over the last bit of October and the start/middle of November. The themes will be announced before the 12th, but will be put up as slots to buy around that time. If you want to get a discounted 10-pager, that’d be the time to go looking.
Charity Work
I doubt that I’ll have the time and space to get the charity work done for Christmas this year, but I think that January should be far enough off for me to be able to find a charity, set up a comfortable bank for myself, and then get to work on a charity auction to help someone out. So, no Christmas charity this year, but January should still happen.
Themed Streams
I’ve learned that I’m not going to be able to do these in the same way that I used to, so we’re going to try a few different ways of doing themed streams going forward. These include:
-Week of Streams: Replace the regular commissions with themed streams, ranging from 3-6 pages per person. Takes advantage of the fact that I have more energy in the morning than the evening, and maybe make it more fun. (Not doing this very often)
-Floating Streams: Experimenting with themed streams on different days of the week to try and find days where I have more energy and can do it properly.
-A Story A Day: Taking sign-ups on Sunday and doing 1 3-pager a day throughout the week, allowing for more sign-ups and less immediate work investment.
Not sure which I’ll go for, will probably experiment with them all at some point, but wanted to let you know I was still thinking of them.
And now, finally…
Personal
Last part of the update, just a couple of personal things that I’ve been thinking about since I got home at the end of September.
First off, I’ve learned that I’m quite a bit more of a routine-based person than I ever really realized. Being in the UK from the end of August to the end of September completely fucked my routine, and that meant that I was kind of depressed despite finding a number of fun outlets while there. The fact that my routine focuses around my kitchen and my people (my roommates and some online people only available in my time zone) means that it’s a lot harder to recreate that elsewhere. It’s been a little reminder to prioritize the things that I love, because otherwise I can get real miserable real fast.
Secondly, and mildly contradictorily, I’m finding myself wanting to go and see things, particularly locally. Earlier this year, me and my roommates took a trip around the Olympic Peninsula, and that was about as beautiful as it gets in certain ways. Seeing Cape Flattery, going through parts of the Hoh, and going past Ruby Beach and La Push was honestly awe-inspiring, and I want to explore more of my neck of the woods. So, yes, travel, but not so far off, and not so long-lasting for a bit. This will likely lead to momentary work interruptions, but considering how I am a plan-for-everything bitch, that’ll mean that I know it’s coming, and I can give you guys heads-up when it’s happening.
Might post pictures, too.
Last of all, I’m starting to think of an approaching date: November 5th, AKA my birthday. No idea what I’m going to do for it yet (other than take the day off from work) but I’ll figure out more as it gets closer to the date. Might try something special for creative stuff, no idea. At any rate, if people wanted to know when this dragon celebrates his birthday, that’s the day.
Anyway, there’s your updates, thought I’d keep you current. Back to work for me.
Late September Update
General | Posted 7 months agoHey there, everyone. I thought it's past time for an update of everything that's going on. Let's recap real quick where we've been up to.
First off, the journey overseas to the UK is over and done now. I got home last night for those of you that weren't following me on bluesky (and if you aren't, why not, you can find me here: https://bsky.app/profile/dracthewriter.bsky.social), and it's honestly just so relaxing and nice being back home and being able to just get back to my normal life. Having my friends around, being in the right time zone, having my cat, and my kitchen - oh, god, my KITCHEN, I've missed it - has done nothing less than miracles for my mood.
Second, commissions. As of right now, the stuff that's still left to do is as follows:
-2 chapters for TogSwitch
-1 10-pager for
a-lycotonum
-4 chapters for Franco731
-3.5 chapters for Doofus
-4 chapters for harute11
-1 10-pager for EasternFox
Plus 14 slots for a splurge client.
Plus I think 3 brainstorms (will double-check that).
So, I have a lot of work to get through. Once we're through all that, however, I'll be opening up for a sort of delayed Kinktober list, plus regular commissions.
Fingers crossed, and best wishes to us all.
Third and finally, thanks for giving me the time to get through a fair bit of stuff. I still have more things to sort out, and uploads to put together, and all that, but I have every intention to get to that as soon as possible. Thanks for being patient, supporting me, and doing all that you've done, here on FA, on the discord, and everywhere else.
Thank you, all of you.
First off, the journey overseas to the UK is over and done now. I got home last night for those of you that weren't following me on bluesky (and if you aren't, why not, you can find me here: https://bsky.app/profile/dracthewriter.bsky.social), and it's honestly just so relaxing and nice being back home and being able to just get back to my normal life. Having my friends around, being in the right time zone, having my cat, and my kitchen - oh, god, my KITCHEN, I've missed it - has done nothing less than miracles for my mood.
Second, commissions. As of right now, the stuff that's still left to do is as follows:
-2 chapters for
TogSwitch -1 10-pager for
a-lycotonum -4 chapters for
Franco731 -3.5 chapters for
Doofus -4 chapters for
harute11 -1 10-pager for
EasternFox Plus 14 slots for a splurge client.
Plus I think 3 brainstorms (will double-check that).
So, I have a lot of work to get through. Once we're through all that, however, I'll be opening up for a sort of delayed Kinktober list, plus regular commissions.
Fingers crossed, and best wishes to us all.
Third and finally, thanks for giving me the time to get through a fair bit of stuff. I still have more things to sort out, and uploads to put together, and all that, but I have every intention to get to that as soon as possible. Thanks for being patient, supporting me, and doing all that you've done, here on FA, on the discord, and everywhere else.
Thank you, all of you.
End of August Update (dental, travel, mental state, etc)
General | Posted 8 months agoHey, everyone. I thought I’d give a few updates since the dental issue earlier this month, both about that and about life in general.
First off, the dental stuff. I got an exam, and they said that there’s no new breaks or damages to my teeth. Could do with a cleaning and replacing a few fillings – which I’ll get started on as I can save money for it – but there’s no new breaks to be worried about, or any apparent infections or anything like that. So, good news on that. So long as I keep up with keeping them clean and don’t go crazy on harder, damaging foods, I’ll be fine until I can pay for those to be topped up.
Second, spent part of August hosting a friend and going to the Seattle WorldCon, which was…an experience. The hosting was nice – not perfect, but nice – and the con…not so much. I kinda figured out that this is just not my thing. Fur-cons to an extent can be really fun, but the WorldCon stuff is just…I’m in that niche where I know too much to get into the shallower stuff, but not deep enough to get into the fan-fan stuff. So, not really my thing, and it’s too expensive to really throw that much money at it if I’m not getting a lot out of it.
Third, I’m in the UK now (a trip planned out since February-ish and part of a tradition I’ve kept up with the friend I hosted for WorldCon), and will be until September 23rd. It’s…going okay? I’m trying to do work and I’m doing more than I have done in the past, but I have to admit that my focus is completely shot and it’s hard to get more than 8-10 pages done a day.
I’m also going to be honest and admit that I’m kind of in this weird, semi-depressed sort of state at the moment. Being unable to stream, unable to write regularly, and most of all, not be able to do my regular routine until the 23rd is kinda pissing me off and leaving me unable to recharge the way that I normally would. Without that routine, I kinda can’t recharge to more than about a third of a tank, which means every day is a bit more ‘meh’ and draining than it should be. Being a little concerned about not getting work done as fast as I’d like to and keeping an eye on how much I do over here is also a thing, but ehhhh.
Anyway, just an update on how I’m doing, mental state, etc., and letting you all know if you didn’t know already that I’ll be back late on the 23rd.
Much hopes and best wishes to all of you.
First off, the dental stuff. I got an exam, and they said that there’s no new breaks or damages to my teeth. Could do with a cleaning and replacing a few fillings – which I’ll get started on as I can save money for it – but there’s no new breaks to be worried about, or any apparent infections or anything like that. So, good news on that. So long as I keep up with keeping them clean and don’t go crazy on harder, damaging foods, I’ll be fine until I can pay for those to be topped up.
Second, spent part of August hosting a friend and going to the Seattle WorldCon, which was…an experience. The hosting was nice – not perfect, but nice – and the con…not so much. I kinda figured out that this is just not my thing. Fur-cons to an extent can be really fun, but the WorldCon stuff is just…I’m in that niche where I know too much to get into the shallower stuff, but not deep enough to get into the fan-fan stuff. So, not really my thing, and it’s too expensive to really throw that much money at it if I’m not getting a lot out of it.
Third, I’m in the UK now (a trip planned out since February-ish and part of a tradition I’ve kept up with the friend I hosted for WorldCon), and will be until September 23rd. It’s…going okay? I’m trying to do work and I’m doing more than I have done in the past, but I have to admit that my focus is completely shot and it’s hard to get more than 8-10 pages done a day.
I’m also going to be honest and admit that I’m kind of in this weird, semi-depressed sort of state at the moment. Being unable to stream, unable to write regularly, and most of all, not be able to do my regular routine until the 23rd is kinda pissing me off and leaving me unable to recharge the way that I normally would. Without that routine, I kinda can’t recharge to more than about a third of a tank, which means every day is a bit more ‘meh’ and draining than it should be. Being a little concerned about not getting work done as fast as I’d like to and keeping an eye on how much I do over here is also a thing, but ehhhh.
Anyway, just an update on how I’m doing, mental state, etc., and letting you all know if you didn’t know already that I’ll be back late on the 23rd.
Much hopes and best wishes to all of you.
A Dental Delay
General | Posted 8 months agoJust a heads-up. I’ve found myself with some tooth trouble over the last day or so, and I’m looking for a dentist to take care of that. I’ll be a bit quiet for a bit while I try and sort that out; it’s not bad YET, but it’s giving warnings that are saying “Take care of this NOW.”
Currently searching around for a dentist (gotta love THAT kind of fun), but hope to sort this relatively soon.
Wish me luck.
Currently searching around for a dentist (gotta love THAT kind of fun), but hope to sort this relatively soon.
Wish me luck.
Raffle Winners
General | Posted 9 months agoNow, still got a few things left from the other cycle that have to get done, and I will be doing a splurge thing alongside this, but here's the winners.
a-lycotonum for 1 10-pager
TogSwitch for 2 miniseries chapters
Ultilix for 3 miniseries chapters
Franco731 for 4 miniseries chapters
Doofus for 4 miniseries chapters
harute11 for 4 miniseries chapters
EasternFox for 1 10-pager
In addition, we have potentially 3 brainstorms for later on.
While this is more than the 14 slots that I meant to take on, I wanted to get more in and hopefully keep people happy while I'm going abroad.
If anyone that did not get picked wants to be put on a wait list in case I get through more comms during my time abroad than expected, leave a comment here and I'll have you first in line for when the rest of the stuff is done.
For everyone else, congratulations, can't wait to get your write-ups. Please fill out the form found here and send it to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com . Thanks!
a-lycotonum for 1 10-pager TogSwitch for 2 miniseries chapters Ultilix for 3 miniseries chapters Franco731 for 4 miniseries chapters Doofus for 4 miniseries chapters harute11 for 4 miniseries chapters EasternFox for 1 10-pagerIn addition, we have potentially 3 brainstorms for later on.
While this is more than the 14 slots that I meant to take on, I wanted to get more in and hopefully keep people happy while I'm going abroad.
If anyone that did not get picked wants to be put on a wait list in case I get through more comms during my time abroad than expected, leave a comment here and I'll have you first in line for when the rest of the stuff is done.
For everyone else, congratulations, can't wait to get your write-ups. Please fill out the form found here and send it to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com . Thanks!
Itch.io Fuckery, Steam Problems, And Doing What You Can
General | Posted 9 months agoBy now, I'm sure that you've heard of what's happened with itch.io and Steam. The dramatic shift by both companies to de-list and block games and other media that 'doesn't agree with their payment processors' has been as staggering as it has been reprehensible, and it follows no clear thread other than 'This might offend a puritan with their hand on the button'. NSFW materials, as well as media that only mentions the existence of LGBTQ+ people, have been made impossible to search for.
Steps are being taken. People are listing the numbers for Visa and Mastercard (the primary power-holders in this push) to call, annoy, and remind them about the consequences of this choice. Likewise, there are email addresses being passed around for those that cannot call but can send emails (phones seem to be better for getting a message across, since it tends to tie up a real person for longer and affects the company bottom line). You can find those below:
Mastercard (US): 1-800-627-8372
Mastercard (Int.): +1-636-722-7111
Visa (US + Can): 1 800 847 2911
Visa (AUS): 1 800 125 440
Mastercard support email:
customer_support[at]mastercard.com
Visa support email:
askvisa[at]visa.com
If you wish to join in, adding your voice to the roar, maybe we can make a difference in turning that around.
But if you're not able to do that, or feel like there's no point, or just feel too worn down to do anything about that, then here's something else you can do.
Talk to the creators you follow. Show them that they matter, and more, show them that they're worth something when the rest of the world is trying to tell them they're worthless and need to be shut down.
You might not have the power to push back the tide, or the energy to leap in there, but I bet you have a few kind words and thankful details to share with the people making the stuff you love. Go tell them.
Steps are being taken. People are listing the numbers for Visa and Mastercard (the primary power-holders in this push) to call, annoy, and remind them about the consequences of this choice. Likewise, there are email addresses being passed around for those that cannot call but can send emails (phones seem to be better for getting a message across, since it tends to tie up a real person for longer and affects the company bottom line). You can find those below:
Mastercard (US): 1-800-627-8372
Mastercard (Int.): +1-636-722-7111
Visa (US + Can): 1 800 847 2911
Visa (AUS): 1 800 125 440
Mastercard support email:
customer_support[at]mastercard.com
Visa support email:
askvisa[at]visa.com
If you wish to join in, adding your voice to the roar, maybe we can make a difference in turning that around.
But if you're not able to do that, or feel like there's no point, or just feel too worn down to do anything about that, then here's something else you can do.
Talk to the creators you follow. Show them that they matter, and more, show them that they're worth something when the rest of the world is trying to tell them they're worthless and need to be shut down.
You might not have the power to push back the tide, or the energy to leap in there, but I bet you have a few kind words and thankful details to share with the people making the stuff you love. Go tell them.
Okay, Further Thoughts Re: New World For You Service
General | Posted 9 months agoOkay, since there was some enthusiasm regarding the new ‘custom world’ thing that I was talking about in the other journal, let’s get into the nitty-gritty.
First off, here’s the other stuff I offer so you know what it is, and so you can compare to what I already charge.
1: Wheel of Fetish: A brainstorm for a client that delivers 3 one-paragraph story summaries a little vague on character that can be adapted for future use/commissions.
Cost: $5
Turnaround Time: 30 minutes once started
Client Effort: List of gender pairing, species preference, setting preference, and 5-10 kinks
2: General Brainstorm: A more in-depth brainstorm focused on developing the plot and characters of a story, ranging from 10 pages to a splurge-length story. Focused on building up primarily plot, character, and some kink. Client may receive write-up afterward if they prefer me to put it together.
Cost: $20 per 30 minutes
Turnaround Time: However long the client pays for
Client Effort: Bringing a base concept to be built up and developed, as well as being honest about whether my suggestions are hitting the mark or not
As you can see, the results of both are relatively straightforward. The longest I’ve had a General Brainstorm go is about 4 hours, but that was for a series that was going to cover 280 pages, so that wasn’t too surprising. The average brainstorm for a 10 pager barely takes 30 minutes, and a longer series can be brainstormed and figured out within 2 hours, most of the time. The write-up can take up to 1 hour of work to completely pull together.
Now that we’ve covered that, let’s talk about the new product.
I’m a worldbuilder. I love worldbuilding. I like the process of making a whole new world, whether that’s SFW or NSFW, and I absolutely adore getting eyes on it and putting stories inside of it.
I also know that there are lots of people with ideas for stories that need a world that suits them, and people that would love to have a world that has stuff baked in that allows for all kinds of fun.
That’s where we can make a deal.
What I’d offer is setting-making, ranging from city-size to world/plane size. What I’d ideally be able to offer while building this up is:
-Culture
-Government
-Magic (if applicable)
-High-Tech (if applicable)
-Kink-effect on culture/devices/public (if applicable)
-Up to 10 major characters
-Major locations for interesting times/belonging to key characters
-Major figures of influence
-Local/regional religions
-Rough Map of certain areas
And so on, all wrapped up in a document with a table of contents that goes between the different sections for you or others to reference in the future.
The basic idea with this is to give someone a sandbox to play around in, have multiple characters to work with in the setting beyond their own OCs, and make sure that they can enjoy various scenarios that allow for their desires, fantasies, hopes, and dreams to be viable.
Superhero setting? Could be a city or a full world. Done.
Crossover of earth and Hell? Let’s come up with the crossing point and work from there. Done.
Fantasy realm that’s low magic but high corruption? That’d be fun as hell to imagine. Done.
But the main thing that I don’t know yet is how much to charge for this, and whether it’d be a flat-rate, an hourly rate, or something else entirely.
So, that’s where you come in. Any thoughts? Respond in the comments.
First off, here’s the other stuff I offer so you know what it is, and so you can compare to what I already charge.
1: Wheel of Fetish: A brainstorm for a client that delivers 3 one-paragraph story summaries a little vague on character that can be adapted for future use/commissions.
Cost: $5
Turnaround Time: 30 minutes once started
Client Effort: List of gender pairing, species preference, setting preference, and 5-10 kinks
2: General Brainstorm: A more in-depth brainstorm focused on developing the plot and characters of a story, ranging from 10 pages to a splurge-length story. Focused on building up primarily plot, character, and some kink. Client may receive write-up afterward if they prefer me to put it together.
Cost: $20 per 30 minutes
Turnaround Time: However long the client pays for
Client Effort: Bringing a base concept to be built up and developed, as well as being honest about whether my suggestions are hitting the mark or not
As you can see, the results of both are relatively straightforward. The longest I’ve had a General Brainstorm go is about 4 hours, but that was for a series that was going to cover 280 pages, so that wasn’t too surprising. The average brainstorm for a 10 pager barely takes 30 minutes, and a longer series can be brainstormed and figured out within 2 hours, most of the time. The write-up can take up to 1 hour of work to completely pull together.
Now that we’ve covered that, let’s talk about the new product.
The Bespoke WorldI’m a worldbuilder. I love worldbuilding. I like the process of making a whole new world, whether that’s SFW or NSFW, and I absolutely adore getting eyes on it and putting stories inside of it.
I also know that there are lots of people with ideas for stories that need a world that suits them, and people that would love to have a world that has stuff baked in that allows for all kinds of fun.
That’s where we can make a deal.
What I’d offer is setting-making, ranging from city-size to world/plane size. What I’d ideally be able to offer while building this up is:
-Culture
-Government
-Magic (if applicable)
-High-Tech (if applicable)
-Kink-effect on culture/devices/public (if applicable)
-Up to 10 major characters
-Major locations for interesting times/belonging to key characters
-Major figures of influence
-Local/regional religions
-Rough Map of certain areas
And so on, all wrapped up in a document with a table of contents that goes between the different sections for you or others to reference in the future.
The basic idea with this is to give someone a sandbox to play around in, have multiple characters to work with in the setting beyond their own OCs, and make sure that they can enjoy various scenarios that allow for their desires, fantasies, hopes, and dreams to be viable.
Superhero setting? Could be a city or a full world. Done.
Crossover of earth and Hell? Let’s come up with the crossing point and work from there. Done.
Fantasy realm that’s low magic but high corruption? That’d be fun as hell to imagine. Done.
But the main thing that I don’t know yet is how much to charge for this, and whether it’d be a flat-rate, an hourly rate, or something else entirely.
So, that’s where you come in. Any thoughts? Respond in the comments.
A World For You (New Service Idea)
General | Posted 9 months agoBespoke WorldsJust thinking of something new I can offer to go along with brainstorming and some of the consultation stuff that I do.
Currently, I offer the Wheel of Fetish (which is where you pay $5 for three story-idea summaries based around things you like) and Brainstorming by the half-hour ($20/half-hour of digging into what you want and figuring out how to make it work). But some of you don’t really need that. Some of you already know the stories you like and have ideas of what you’d want to do.
But I think what some of you would like is a world. A Bespoke World, even, created by me specifically for you, tailored purely to what you like, so you have a playground to work with, a sandbox to delve into, and a space that lets you play with your kinks, your desires, and the way you want your world to work for your stories/fantasies/whatever.
We could build a city or city-state that operates in defiance of the world around it.
We could build a superhero system that has its own distinct rules.
We could make a republic, a kingdom, a mage-ocracy, a theocracy, any kind of nation that you want.
Hell, we could make a world or a plane for this all to take place on, completely suited to what you want for your fantasies.
What do you think? Would you like to get someone to come up with something like this for you, complete with a write-up for future reference?
Lemme know in the comments.
Raffle Winners
General | Posted 10 months agoCongrats, everyone! Let's go through the list of the new comm clients.
GlynWolf with a very generous list of four different sponsored stories (thaaaaaank you)
dariuswhitefur with 3 miniseries chapters with a promising plot that I look forward to starting
Scythio with 1 10-pager that looks to involve Drac quite heavily, very nice
Roureem with 1 10-pager that will continue a past series and a sponsored chapter of Starfox Adventures Parody (ALWAYS glad to see something like that continue)
Franco731 with 4 miniseries chapters that will be continuing a certain rather slutty Starfox story from a while back, sure to be naughty
angelus288 with 3 miniseries chapters to bring back a series long-since kinda dead, but who knows, maybe it'll roaring back to life
Technophile34 with 1 10-pager bringing up some more potent doll-works
Arkham with 1 6-pager with some super-hero play, veeeeery nice
and 4 miniseries chapters for Mizzukat, 2 with Suresha, 2 with Olag, should be fun.
Thanks one and all for entering, and can't wait to see what you have for me.
As usual, get me your write-ups (template found here) all filled out with all the information I need, and send it to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com . Can't wait to get started.
GlynWolf with a very generous list of four different sponsored stories (thaaaaaank you)
dariuswhitefur with 3 miniseries chapters with a promising plot that I look forward to starting
Scythio with 1 10-pager that looks to involve Drac quite heavily, very nice Roureem with 1 10-pager that will continue a past series and a sponsored chapter of Starfox Adventures Parody (ALWAYS glad to see something like that continue) Franco731 with 4 miniseries chapters that will be continuing a certain rather slutty Starfox story from a while back, sure to be naughty angelus288 with 3 miniseries chapters to bring back a series long-since kinda dead, but who knows, maybe it'll roaring back to life
Technophile34 with 1 10-pager bringing up some more potent doll-works
Arkham with 1 6-pager with some super-hero play, veeeeery niceand 4 miniseries chapters for Mizzukat, 2 with Suresha, 2 with Olag, should be fun.
Thanks one and all for entering, and can't wait to see what you have for me.
As usual, get me your write-ups (template found here) all filled out with all the information I need, and send it to spencer-gorman[at]hotmail.com . Can't wait to get started.
