Slowly, but it's happening.

Just as a quick update, in my last journal I mentioned rebranding myself and going in a new direction with a new account. This was a decision spurred by losing connection to Draxxus and going through some changes in my life.

Several months later, and a lot of thinking and figuring myself out, I'm pretty nearly there. But I've also changed my thinking on a few things.
The biggest of which is that I won't be sharing the new account on this page.

This isn't a spontaneous decision, but one I've come to as I've gotten my life onto a new track. In a lot of ways, this new sona, this new identity is a sort of coming out for me. I'm trying to be a different person, to finally have the freedom to be myself instead of being stuffed into boxes by every influence I used to be held to. That's not going to be easy to do if I take steps to tether the new self to the old. This isn't to say that I don't want anyone here (who even still pays attention to a dead account anyway?) to follow me, but that I'm not going to advertise my new identity openly. I want this to be a clean break. Not that I can stop any determined internet sleuth from finding me and making the connection, of course. All I can say to that is "Please don't. Please respect my wishes. Don't go digging, let sleeping dinos lie."

I do intend to follow through on my plans for this account though. It's honestly going to be too much of a pain to get everyone to reattribute all this art, and that would link my new account to it pretty quick. Some of these characters have baggage anyway, not to mention cringeworthy writing attached to a lot of my earlier submissions. I do want to share all the amazing things I've bought over the years and will continue to get more of that as I can. None of these characters are likely to leave me, I'm just using them in more private capacities right now.

So all that to say, you'll likely see a spike in submissions from me at some point in the near future. I'm dealing with a lot of IRL stuff again, but I'm on the final push to finish this transition and want to get this old backlog cleared. After that, I'll be using the account for buying from auctions and as an archive for any characters I'm not tying to my new identity. Be not alarmed by the spam, it shall pass.

Thanks for all the good times, sorry for all the drama. Thank you for letting me exist here, where I could grow and change as a person. In the end, Draxxus was a way to experiment and test things, to figure out who I was until the day I realized that my identity no longer exists in the same context that he does. I'm not the same person, I don't believe the same things, I don't have to fit the boxes assigned to me anymore. I see my gender, sexuality, and life differently now, because of the space he gave me to try things out. He helped me get to a healthier place, and everyone who supported me here played a part in that as well. So genuinely, without affectation, thank you.

Hey all. Been an age since I've written anything.
Not to say all the things I say every time I feel compelled to apologize on here, but... Life has been hard lately. I've been dealing with a most pervasive depression and anxiety. I've barely been able to pick at this website since February, and since then have managed to get my submission backlog into March. Over six months.
My upload queue is about three years behind at this point.

I don't know what it is, but right now looking at this site takes effort. Engaging with it even more so. I'm not sure if it's the sense of being out of control, or a sense of slipping connection.

I suppose that's at least a part of it, though. I've been slipping away from this fursona, from this presentation of myself. It doesn't feel right anymore. Never thought it would happen, but here we are. I still love Draxxus, but he just isn't me anymore.

So I've decided to make a new sona, and to try and rebrand myself a little. Just need a finalized design, and a name. I hope you like him.
I'll probably make a new account for myself and treat it a little differently. I'll drop a link if/when I do, and keep this one for all the characters already on it. I think I'd just like a newer one for a more curated experience and more of a focus on the one character. Maybe I'll still crosspost those inevitable pictures here too.

None of the characters you watched for will go away, and this account isn't vanishing, but I'll probably start using it more as a secondary archive is what it all boils down to. I just really need a fresh start for a new me, and maybe I can keep that new me from spiraling into a depressive, anxious helplessness about engaging with the community.

Thanks all for watching, and I hope to keep you around. <3

Back off my latest mental health down, back on my bullshit.
Don't mind me, I'm just cleaning up after myself. Y'all make a lot of good art in 10 weeks.

It sure happens, doesn't it?

I've certainly seen my share of change since starting on this website. Change in the world, changes in my life, and a lot of change as I tried to figure myself out, who I was.
Changes to how I wrote and submitted art, changes in my views on many topics. Remember when I didn't think I'd ever get into adopts?
Definitely a lot of changes in my characters as I've gotten to know them, really explore them, and realize just how different many of them are from my first impressions. I was really surprised to find out Tabari was actually Bi, for example, but I sure love it.

I've faced a lot of IRL change, and things that have changed me. Not always for the better; Sometimes things happen and they break me a lot more than I thought. But sometimes it's good, like when I finally realize something about myself I've never known before. Sometimes, many times, that's just one step in a journey, and there are countless others to come. I know I'll change again and again as I figure out who I am, who I want to be, and what to do about it.

I'm considering changing my Sona, though that isn't really finalized. Some days I identify with Draxxus, some days with Cyrvalus really strongly. Some days I feel more like a robot. I know I can have more than one, but it's a question of who I present as online. Who will my public persona be? The one closest to me? The one I want to be most? How much of who I am do I show? I think that can't be truly answered until I figure out who I am properly, but I can always try a few of them on for size.

So what does any of this mean for you? Well, maybe not much. I plan to redo my front page again. I might give myself permission to change how I write for uploads, which will probably get me actually doing that again. You'll see new content on those fronts, sooner or later. I'll also try to update character lore as I post from here forward. I won't be deleting old stuff, but it won't always be accurate anymore. Getting to know this cast of characters has led to a lot of changes, like I said. I guess that makes my gallery a museum of sorts, where you can see how each one of them has evolved over time.

In conclusion, change has happened, is happening, and will happen. In this context, mostly to me and my gallery here. Stay tuned, if you've any lingering hope in me.

Oh, and check out my friends, if you're so inclined. They're all pretty awesome, and many of them are quite talented artists! Something I can't lay claim to myself... Yet. ;3

Hey guys.

I appreciate the support you've offered. Y'all are really good people, and I'm glad to have you.

I know I don't need to apologize and don't really owe anything, but I wanted to fill you in on why I've been like this.

Last week, my employer lost a month-long battle with complications caused by covid. It everyone had time to mentally prepare, and his friends and family are taking it as best they can. It just really sucked to have that happen. He was a good man.

Then, late the very next night, I ended up holding my best friend's cat as she (the cat) died as a result of being attacked by a wild animal. It was messy and painful for everyone. Honestly, that got to me more in the moment, largely as a result of being surrounded by intense grief and shock, and the suddenness of it all.

Both hurt in different ways. Neither of them is really pleasant to contemplate.

I'm okay. I'll be okay. But I'm also not okay.

I guess I just needed to talk about it.

Thanks for reading.
I'll be back soon.

I just needed to vent. Too many bad things happening at once.

Not much to say here. I did some poking at my profile, if you're into that sort of thing. Working on my extensive backlog.
I need to figure a lot of stuff out.

Thanks once again to all the loyal watchers who have stuck by me through absence and weirdness alike. I'm gonna keep at it and give y'all some nice things. <3

Guess I'm 27 today.
I'm not really feeling it, but at least I can spend time with friends.

I'm getting to the age where it stops being fun, aren't I?

That's alright. Even if I'm depressed lately, it's still an important thing, at least for others. And I'm not gonna rain on any celebrations by being an edgelord about it. ^^

Pats are welcome, but my wish is for you all to have a wonderful weekend with your loved ones. <3

-UPDATE FOR Y'ALL-

So yeah, seems that the weekend ended up being a little more exciting than I'd wanted, what with the storm and blackouts during the whole thing. I've made it through okay, but it sounds like a lot of the country isn't out of this yet. I hope all you friends who are affected stay safe and warm, and make it through! <3

Hey all. I'm sure you couldn't fail to notice there's been a lot of crap going on in my life. I've been struggling a lot with depression lately, even without the concentrated Charlie Foxtrot that December threw my way.

But New Years are for new starts. Maybe it's just another day in the progression, but the symbolism is huge. That's what we always look to with our resolutions, right?
I don't have any resolutions this year. Only a determination to fight harder. It's been consistently difficult to get anything I want done actually done, to stick to any choice or new direction, to make anything I want to happen actually come to pass. And especially to keep fighting through the fog of hopelessness that pervades every waking moment.

But here's the thing. Often in my life, the best things I have and those that have brought me the best results are the things I've had to fight and work for. I'm not someone who gets things falling in my lap often, and those that do tend not to be as great as they seem. But the things I've fought for? Those are the things I can appreciate the most, that have brought the best in happiness and payoff. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier to fight, not by any means. But it's ammunition to use against the voices that keep asking my why I even try.

I'm not going to get it all right. It's going to be hard. But I'm going to try. I have to make it happen if it's going to happen.
And I want you all to know that I'm trying. The fight isn't over yet.
And if you know, then it's harder for me to hide behind the bad days.

Thank you all for being here, whether you joined me at the beginning of my time here or just a few days ago. It's really nice knowing that there are people who like my characters and ideas. That there are friends to make and folks who care.

Thank you all, and Happy New Year. May it be better than the last one, and a new opportunity to get better than ever.

Then I think you'll be interested in this awesome artist and their offer~
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9705896/

Thank you for interest in and notice of these journals!

No cake though.

In all seriousness, I'm letting y'all know I'm still alive after that little adventure. It was stressful and just a little traumatizing at first, but overall things actually went pretty well. The fires were kept at bay away from my town, I survived the ensuing ash when I went back to work, and now I'm moved back in and we're finally off of alert after some blessed rain.

I dunno if I'm better, but my life is at least back to normal.

Thanks for all your support, and for caring about some weird lizardthing. <3

Well, I had to evacuate. Roommates, best friend, me. All safe. For now, at least. Hoping the house doesn't burn.
I'm so tired, I'm not gonna be able to sleep.
Survival mode engaged.
I suppose having an apocalypse under my belt will help in the future.
This will be one for the kids, if I ever have any.
Love you all.
Hope it doesn't get closer.

Hey, just a quick update for you guys. I just got back from a short vacation, and came home to fires all around my town.
So far we're not in immediate danger, and it will take a fair bit for that to change, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, so preparation is underway just in case we need to evacuate.
Any support is appreciated, but this is mainly just to warn you I may be away for a bit. Love you all. Talk to you soon, I hope. <3

---

UPDATE

---

Well, the fires have slowed down, and seem to be spreading this way at a crawl, if at all. Hoping the wind doesn't shift and bring it instead of beating it back.
But we have so much smoke right now, it's as black as night here at 3:45 local. There's just a dim orange glow in the sky... A real apocalyptic sight, so far.

Hey, all. Life has been interesting lately. Or really, it hasn't been. It's been overall boring and repetitive, and I've been sinking in that mire for a while. It's so easy to lose all track of time as it is for me (I'm fairly certain I'm ADHD), and this kind of depression and repetition only make it worse. Thus my continual absences and glacial pace.

Thought I'd just come on here to say I'm still alive, I'm trying to get through things, and it'll be okay in the end. I'm trying to get things turned around and actually do something with my life, and while that's mostly offline, I will try to be here a little more regularly. Not just because my backlog is demanding it.
You might see some rebranding of myself going on, as I keep trying new things and figure out what works and how I really want to present myself online these days.

On a somewhat related note, I've picked up an interest in coloring bases! And while some of those will doubtless end up making more art of my own characters, I'm also thinking about getting into the adopt game with them! Call it something to do with the investment I've laid out on the linework. And maybe practice for a big project~
I'll probably set up a separate account once I've got a few of them ready to go, and more details will be forthcoming then.

Speaking of adopts... I'm indulging myself again, for a few different reasons. The characters I've been picking up recently make up a fair chunk of my backlogged art, to be honest. XD
I'll do my best to get them uploaded in fairly quick order, between other pieces! And keep an eye out for first arts of existing characters, too!
Also, I promise I have homes for all of them! Everyone gets their stories, even if only between me and my IRL friends. X'D

Well, there's all my life updates for now. Anyone who read this far, hope it helps explain things or provide you with satisfactory answers. And I hope to see you all around! Each and every one of you watching me means a lot. <3

Because I know exactly where you can get a chance at one, and a handsome fella at that~
All you've gotta do is enter my friend's raffle here!
And after you've entered and followed, stick around for other unique and creative designs! She's always doing amazing things, and you may just find someone there who calls to you! <3
Thanks for checking it out!

Hey there, everyone!

I just wanted to let y'all know that my best friend  EquinoxRising just started a new adoptable account!
The designs are all really darn cute, and I've been tempted by a few of 'em so far~
She puts so much work and love into each one, and it really shows!

Go show her some love, and consider adopting one of the beans there!
 NightOwlAdopts

Thank you so much for your support! <3

So often these days, I just feel so weary. Weary of life, of everything I see happening around me in these troubled times. Politicians only concerned for power, propaganda spread every waking moment from speakers and screens across the nation, injustice rearing its head over and over in so many places. More than anything I'm tired of the lies, the prejudice, the division, the hypocrisy. I'm tired of being told that I can only ever feel shame and hatred for my people, my country. For myself, even. And it never ceases, a constant churn of emotional arson and deceptive doublespeak telling us time and again how we must only be outraged, angry, hateful, divided. Us against them, time and again, because they only exist to destroy and oppress us. Such a burden of hatred is tiring to the soul. I duck my head and let it pass, informing myself of the truth when I can but wishing more than anything to merely be left alone to live my life. But keeping silent and wanting to be left alone is not enough to stop the monster before me, to sate its hunger for blood. Saying nothing only allows it to tax my soul unchallenged.

I have had enough.

I stand before you today to tell you that I love my country. I love the United States of America! And nothing will ever change that while the flag of freedom still flies in this land. She is far from perfect, even now. But while her flaws may cause a groaning in the land, while there are still things that must be addressed and fixed, she is still a far better land now than at any point in her history. We are not a failed nation because of our flaws, but a great one because of how far we have come in spite of that imperfection.
My country, the USA, was founded on the fundamental truth that all men are create equal, that all should be free to live peaceably as they see fit, bound only by the collective agreement to let others do the same. That all who came to her shores would be free to worship as they see fit, to hold any creed or conviction as moved them, so long as those beliefs did no harm to their neighbors. A land built on the ideals of liberty, supported by fundamental values and assured of fundamental rights.
This country was founded on the belief that all of us in this shared human experience were of equal value, had an equal right to life free of tyranny and oppression. No matter the amount of melanin in one's skin, or the genitals between one's legs, or the beliefs that one cleaves closest to in their heart, or any other factor in this great tapestry of humanity. This principle of freedom and equality and justice is the thing that binds our country together.

The first implementation was regrettably imperfect; The consequence of allowing freedom of thought and speech is the fact of disagreement, and compromises were made in order to bring this nation into being. The repercussions were felt for far too long, and took a great effort to repair.
But is this last not the true operative?
We began imperfect, we are imperfect today, but we are far better now than we were at our founding. It has been a long, hard road filled with opposition from those who only seek power over others, but the people of our country have fought tooth and nail to make her founding ideals all the more a reality. Some look back and see slavery, misogyny, division. I look back and see emancipation, suffrage, civil rights. Some look to the past and see the failures of flawed men, but I see the victories of determination and justice that reversed those wrongs. Those who love liberty and justice throughout the years have worked tirelessly to repair that which our founders were unable to, have striven to only make this into a more perfect union. And time and again, right has succeeded.

There are those today who hate my country, who judge its present by its past with no regard for the efforts and struggles of those who brought about change. Those who wish to destroy America only stoke anger and hatred in those around them, creating a wildfire of strife and destruction. Those who seek power only act to divide us and turn us upon one another, manipulating emotion and eroding truth until the masses obey them unquestioningly, for they know not that there are questions to ask. So many today divide my countrymen into groups and set them upon each other based on the most superficial of differences; They cultivate a culture of "Us vs Them," a society of tribalism where any person is either like us and therefore completely right, or unlike us and therefore completely wrong. It is this culture of hatred and division and strife that I reject wholeheartedly. Hatred is not the answer, and never will be. It can only destroy all around us, and will ultimately destroy us as we are consumed by it.

I stand before you all today, a community I partake in that spans the globe, to tell you that I love my country because of its ideals and in spite of its flaws. I acknowledge that it is imperfect while celebrating its every effort to minimize that imperfection. I cleave to its bold statement of a fundamental truth of this world: Everyone in this human experience is of equal worth, and deserves to live as such. And I will continue to strive to live up to that ideal, and all others enshrined in her founding; Those of liberty, justice, freedom.

I call upon all my countrymen to do the same.

Let us throw off the divisions, the games of group identity that other all our fellow humans outside of our groups. Today, of all days, see each other the way I see you; Not as your skin tone, your sexual preference, your religion, your gender. But as a human, as an individual, and as an American. Be who you want, believe what you want, you are free to do so. To say otherwise is to engage in the very hypocrisy that I tire of. But rally under one flag above all others, that of the country that we live in and should all rightly love. Call yourself an American, pledge yourself to her ideals, and do what you can to right what wrongs remain, in justice and in love. Remember the pledge that each of us who loves her has made to her flag, and work to reunite the land of freedom. Reach out not to harm those around you, but to help them. Love your neighbors, and love your country. Let our ideals burn away the darkness and shine bright for the world to see as we all come together, and let us proclaim the truth of who we are to refute the lies. Let us turn away from division, tyranny, injustice. Let us stand indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

And to those of you who I do not share a country with, know that I love you no less and wish no harm to any of you. You are just as valuable, just as precious, just as human, as those within the borders of my nation. May you always have hope and live in happiness. Know that as long as our ideals burn bright within you, you will always be welcome here.

No matter where you are as you read this, I proclaim to you today: I am proud to be an American, I love my country, and I will feel no shame for doing so.
And no matter what others may tell you, no matter what lies or misinformation may come your way, know that I will only ever love you and welcome you as a fellow traveler in this world, as a brother or sister or whatever else you may be.

There was originally going to be a question here, but writing it out helped me think it out. XD

Jokes aside, I've been growing and changing since I first started this account, and really since I've joined the fandom. It's time well spent, changes I enjoy, but I'm definitely a different person than I was a few years ago.
I still have a lot of love for the body, it's just a stunning and beautiful thing to see. An ultimate form of art, one that I appreciate on its own merits.
But over this time I've also slowly become more comfortable with sexuality, something that used to make me a lot more uncomfortable. I've grown and realized its place in life, the beauty it can have when treated with respect. I've also reached the age where my hormones have finally died down well enough that I can be the right kinds of horny and keep it under better control.
Over this same time... Well, it's less like my characters have really changed, and more that I've discovered more about them and come to terms with some of the ways they differ from me in terms of sexuality. I've learned it's okay when that happens, and I'm happy with it.

So, bearing in mind that I want to have the right kinds of attitude toward it, I've been ordering a few pieces of art that are absolutely adult in nature. Each character involved in them has different views and values; some of them reserve themselves for specific situations, where love and beauty are the first and most important part of the interaction. A few of them are blowing off steam or exploring things and behaviors I can't or wouldn't in real life. One of them is admittedly also just a horny monster yiffer who gets to live out my fantasies.
It's important to realize each character's inclinations and preferences though, because while I'm intending to explore sexuality a bit in safe ways, I'm not planning on just getting all the porn. Most of my characters who would be participating, especially those close to me like Skye, are reserved for specific kinds of situations and will only be in things with very close friends, those I know I can trust to be respectful of the meaning behind the art. That's partly because my babies deserve that much respect, and partly to ensure I don't get hurt or go into dark places anymore. Even Ardinax will have some rules in place, despite being a bit of a different tone from the others.

So ultimately, here's what this means for me and my account. First of all, my focus isn't really shifted. I'll still be getting primarily SFW commissions and artistic nudes, indulging my love of anthro forms, creature designs, and situations that fit my characters. But I'll also be occasionally uploading a few things that explore or celebrate different aspects of sexuality, for one reason or another. I don't want to make any of my followers uncomfortable, but I do suppose that's what the Adult filter is for.
That said, I'm not going to give much attention to anyone I don't know sliding into my DMs just to be horny about my characters. Again, most of them will only be doing this with specific close friends of mine, and sometimes only with specific characters. There's a couple of exceptions I'm willing to consider, but they'll be on a case-by-case basis.

tl;dr I'll be posting lewds here sometimes, but I have Rules for what kinds I get. Please be respectful of them.

I suppose that sums up my feelings well enough. Thanks for reading this far, and let me know if you have any feedback. ^^
And please try not to be too thirsty on main. =P
Love you all~ <3

Not that I ever properly left, I suppose. Some of you know that I've been bouncing around here off and on throughout this pandemic. It's just been difficult to make things happen. But I'm here now and intend to get things back into order soon as I can. ^^

So get ready, I'm gonna try to make some uploads happen!

Hampy Birmthday 🎂

That is all, thank you

Have something happier to look at, the long-awaited SMT!

Okay, it actually isn't as complicated as I make it sound. XD
The basic idea is that I love my beautiful lady Skye quite a lot. She's not just a wonderful character, but one of my 'sonas and absolute favorites. So she gets the privilege of being ported and readjusted for many, many different settings and styles!
Of course, one of the side effects of having a theoretically-infinite number of variations is that there's a significant variance of personality; Every one of us is the sum of our circumstances and experiences, and even changing one variable can have a significant impact.
So, though there's been the occasional potential hiccup, I try to keep just a few rules in mind to differentiate between her incarnations.

Her origins are pretty similar across most versions, of course; Losing her parents, living on the streets, and being owned by a dragon are important formative touchstones for her. It's fun to explore what she would have been like without these, but I haven't gone too far into it yet.
The greatest and most common variations, outside of time period and setting, are related to her adult life.

In short, OG Skye is the one with the wing tattoos on her back. She lived quite a wild life for some time, using every tool and advantage in her belt (or beneath it) to get by and make the best of her life. But she met her soulmate, Altyrex, and he brought a lot of stability into her life. Taught her what it was to be truly, unconditionally loved and helped her to realize there was a better way to go through her days. She's still happy to share her beauty in some capacities, mostly artistic, but she's become a happy and devoted mate to her wonderful crow.
(Someday, someday soon I hope, Altyrex will have art of his own. But for now, I can say he's the handsome and capable character of my best friend,  EquinoxRising )
This lady's the centerpoint, the prime universe. The wings are a symbol of devotion, a promise that she won't ever go too far down the rabbit hole of loving others. She's not forbidden to love and make friends, of course; her heart is too full of it not to share. But she's also promised to put the days of one-night encounters behind her, both from respect and love, and from no longer needing to use her body to find a roof to sleep under.

Everything spirals out from there, ultimately. Across time and space, you'll find her either with or without her crow wings. Those with are the same as the original in attitude and cicumstance, or close to it.
But those without, they're a little more variable. Sometimes she's with another lover, forever living the high and fast life. Sometimes she pursued a quieter career in the end, found another soulmate to start a family with. I'll admit there's at least one who is as dedicated to hedonism and propagation of her genes as she is to adventure and friendship.

But in the end, whether she owns a coffee shop and started a family with a big, strong man, or she travels the world(s) in search of a hundred lovers and fathers, or found her truest soulmate and learned of her real worth and value, she's still the same underneath. She's a beautiful lady, struggling with her past and looking to a better future, always hoping to find those she can share a loving, intimate friendship with. Always happy to share her beauty artistically, or to share warmth for a while. And always searching for a way to see herself the way others see her. Here's to Skye, and may she always find fulfillment and true love in the end.

tired, depressed, thats how life goes
too much in my system to even have the energy to type well
worst part is that i didnt feel this way recently
but now it has come up from nowhere and claimed me in a heartbeat

i dont know how to help people
nothing i do seems to make anything better
but what can i do anyway
saying im there
doesnt help anyone

all i can do is listen
watch
helpless
my words feel so empty
spoken with truest intent
yet my mind tells me nobody cares to hear
that they dont help
they only make it worse

always afraid of rejection
always terrified of hurting others
but evermore compelled to reach out
even when they surely dont want me

i hate suffering
seeing others hurt hurts me
if i can do anything to ease it
to make it stop
i want to
i dont want others to hurt like i have

but in the end
what can i do

say im there
as i sit behind a screen a thousand miles away

say i care
with no way to prove it beyond words displayed

say i want to make it better
with no way to do it

offer a hug
nothing more than words and thoughts

say im listening
but its so easy to be ripped from the keyboard

say im here
when they have no reason to believe i am
when they can so easily believe i will abandon them
because who can prove i wont

i want to help
i wish i had the power
im just a sad and pathetic reptile
staring at a screen in helplessness
watching the pain and suffering in the world
in people i want to call friend

knowing i will never be enough

never be able to help

never be able to be the friend they want or need

never making a difference

i don't know how to help people
even when i want to

and when i try
i fail

anxiety and doubt and fear
always present and waiting
they sabotage me at every turn
so even if i somehow do good
i can only believe i do harm
or that im unwanted
unwelcome
unhelpful

but in the end
believing i can help others
the greatest fantasy
the dearest wish
the closest dream
the most painful pursuit
is only hubris

after all
how can i help others
if i dont know how to help myself

i cant help myself

and i dont know how to help others

and im sorry

i wish i could




please forgive me

I've been looking at my gallery, and I think I can make it a bit cleaner than it is. I love every single piece I've got, of course, but I'm feeling the itch to reorganize a little.

So, as fair notice to y'all, I'm going to be shuffling several of my alternates from the main gallery and into the scraps. They should still show up in each character's gallery folders, I think, but it'll make the main gallery page look a bit less cluttered.
I will be leaving newly-uploaded duplicates on the front page for probably a week though, get them appropriate levels of exposure.

Don't worry, my weakness for artistic nudes is still a thing, I'm just changing where I put them. XD

I've been a month without actually doing anything here?

Ahh, screw it. I'm done pretending like this isn't normal.

That's just how life does you when you work my schedule. Life goes by faster than it feels and suddenly it's the end of the year.
Maybe it's a lack of energy. Maybe it's a lack of time. Maybe it's just the depression blurring it all together.

But we just keep on, because that's al you can do is keep climbing.
Well, that and posting stream-of-consciousness-style journals ere every so often.

Let's see if I can clear out my backlog and give y'all some new things to see! I've got a lot of babies new and old who deserve some love.



If I could muster the effort to write a real journal, maybe I could write my stories...

Summer happened so quickly, did anyone get the number of that truck?

Just the usual pop in to say I'm still alive. I'm also a bit dumbfounded at having nearly 150 watchers! I don't even produce my own art how is this happening?

Thank you all, of course, this is amazing! I just... I guess I need to trust that you're really interested in my lineup.
The good news is that you'll be seeing more of them soon! I'm pretty backlogged into my uploads, so there's several planned into the future. =3

Also, does anyone remember when I said I wasn't doing adopts? Because now I own a lot of them help. XD
But I don't regret it, they're all such wonderful characters and I love bringing them to life. Here's hoping I can give them all plenty of love and attention in the coming years. <3

So anyway, yeah. That's all I've got right now. I may try a thing at 150, but I will tell you now that if we reach 250 I'm gonna try for a raffle or something. Everybody loves "Win A Date With -" raffles, right? ;3

Until I resurface again, I love you all!