Spreading the Word, help a fur in need!
Posted a year agoSeeing the outpouring of support in the wake of Dragoneer's passing, it warms my heart knowing that his friends--and more importantly, his mother--have received so much help with everything.
In light of that, it only makes sense to try and spread the word about someone else suffering and in need of assistance. They aren't someone I know personally at all, but having seen their story get shared, I want to do what I can to spread the word.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10921771/
Let's do what we can to help those of us in our community here who need help getting back on their feet!
In light of that, it only makes sense to try and spread the word about someone else suffering and in need of assistance. They aren't someone I know personally at all, but having seen their story get shared, I want to do what I can to spread the word.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10921771/
Let's do what we can to help those of us in our community here who need help getting back on their feet!
2021, Holy Crap I Survived!
Posted 4 years agoLol yeah, decided to finally get that depressive journal off my feed from last year.
Anyway, yeah. 2021, can't believe we somehow made it here. A lot's been going on. Still settling in with Colorado, things are a lot more comfortable now that I know the layout of town. Living situation is uncomfortable but manageable, considering how things are with the economy. I'd like to look for new work but things just don't feel stable enough to try it yet. That and I haven't gotten vaccinated yet.
As far as furry stuff, been commissioning things in the background, just haven't been around to posting a lot. I'm glad folks still tune in for the raunchy things I enjoy. I've got a huge backlog of things I wanna upload, hopefully I'll get a schedule for it soon. Thoughts? I really need to figure something out, maybe Monday and Saturday? Those are my two days that head off either end of the work week for me, I could manage that I think.
Speaking of, I'm really glad folks liked the animation I got with
y11! Please, go over to his page and give his post for it some love, too!
...
Can't think of anything else, and it's late, so I'm gonna turn in. Y'all have a great weekend!
Anyway, yeah. 2021, can't believe we somehow made it here. A lot's been going on. Still settling in with Colorado, things are a lot more comfortable now that I know the layout of town. Living situation is uncomfortable but manageable, considering how things are with the economy. I'd like to look for new work but things just don't feel stable enough to try it yet. That and I haven't gotten vaccinated yet.
As far as furry stuff, been commissioning things in the background, just haven't been around to posting a lot. I'm glad folks still tune in for the raunchy things I enjoy. I've got a huge backlog of things I wanna upload, hopefully I'll get a schedule for it soon. Thoughts? I really need to figure something out, maybe Monday and Saturday? Those are my two days that head off either end of the work week for me, I could manage that I think.
Speaking of, I'm really glad folks liked the animation I got with
y11! Please, go over to his page and give his post for it some love, too!...
Can't think of anything else, and it's late, so I'm gonna turn in. Y'all have a great weekend!
Postponement of Disabling Account
Posted 5 years agoHeard your comments, I'm gonna hold off on doing anything for now.
I did clear a couple stupid submissions I'd rather not have online anymore, since they didn't really fit in the 'furry' spectrum of things.
I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, lately life has been pretty damn hectic for everyone, and it's left me a bit of a shut-in, both online and offline.
Losing
kentam, as well as another friend to suicide, has really left my mind scrambled and unable to have enough time for everyone that I want to spend time with, and do the things I want to do by myself.
Take care of yourselves and those around you.
I did clear a couple stupid submissions I'd rather not have online anymore, since they didn't really fit in the 'furry' spectrum of things.
I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, lately life has been pretty damn hectic for everyone, and it's left me a bit of a shut-in, both online and offline.
Losing
kentam, as well as another friend to suicide, has really left my mind scrambled and unable to have enough time for everyone that I want to spend time with, and do the things I want to do by myself.Take care of yourselves and those around you.
Possible Account Disable
Posted 5 years agoJust been doing some thinking lately, aside from favoriting stuff from time to time I really am not active on here anymore. Just not publicly active at all outside of a few key places. As such I may be disabling my account. I'm not 100% on the decision yet, but if you want to grab some stuff before I do so, now is the time!
Ending a rather crazy decade.
Posted 6 years agoWhoo boy, a meaningful journal.
This last decade has been quite a roller coaster (hah, so original). I've been through so much through it all.
- Gaining and maintaining a group of online friends who have been there through the good and bad for me.
- Moving out on my own, and experiencing the real world.
- Started dating, and am still with the same person, even though our relationship is a casual long-distance one, it means so much and he has supported me through so many low points in my life.
- Living by myself for the first time ever.
- Losing contact with friends I had spent so much time with throughout high school and even lived with for a year.
- Having friends from out of state come to visit me.
- Traveling out of state by myself for the first time.
- And finally, moving out of state to live with friends from the internet.
10 years ago, if you had told me I would be living with the people I played games with and talked with on Skype every night, I would have written it off as just wishful thinking, an idea that would never come to fruition. I cannot be happier with being wrong, though. Moving to Colorado and living with these people has been the best 4 months of the past 2 years, and I would make the same choice again, given the chance.
I've definitely changed a lot as a fur, a bit more mature, my tastes have definitely changed as well. A few character design changes to Draggy here and there, a couple of new characters floating around in my head. I've met new people, fell out of touch with others, unfortunately lost friendships, but it happens. My biggest positive was getting to meet such a wonderful set of furs who welcomed me into their VRChat family, and have given me so many laughs and good memories.
My only regret is that I am unable to give everyone I know the same positives that I have had. There are plenty of folks I would give the world to help, but just with anything, there's only so much help you can give before it just puts you in the same situation. I only hope they know that I care, and value their friendship.
Thank you to all of you who have shared the good times with me this last decade. Now, let's go and make 2020 something amazing!
This last decade has been quite a roller coaster (hah, so original). I've been through so much through it all.
- Gaining and maintaining a group of online friends who have been there through the good and bad for me.
- Moving out on my own, and experiencing the real world.
- Started dating, and am still with the same person, even though our relationship is a casual long-distance one, it means so much and he has supported me through so many low points in my life.
- Living by myself for the first time ever.
- Losing contact with friends I had spent so much time with throughout high school and even lived with for a year.
- Having friends from out of state come to visit me.
- Traveling out of state by myself for the first time.
- And finally, moving out of state to live with friends from the internet.
10 years ago, if you had told me I would be living with the people I played games with and talked with on Skype every night, I would have written it off as just wishful thinking, an idea that would never come to fruition. I cannot be happier with being wrong, though. Moving to Colorado and living with these people has been the best 4 months of the past 2 years, and I would make the same choice again, given the chance.
I've definitely changed a lot as a fur, a bit more mature, my tastes have definitely changed as well. A few character design changes to Draggy here and there, a couple of new characters floating around in my head. I've met new people, fell out of touch with others, unfortunately lost friendships, but it happens. My biggest positive was getting to meet such a wonderful set of furs who welcomed me into their VRChat family, and have given me so many laughs and good memories.
My only regret is that I am unable to give everyone I know the same positives that I have had. There are plenty of folks I would give the world to help, but just with anything, there's only so much help you can give before it just puts you in the same situation. I only hope they know that I care, and value their friendship.
Thank you to all of you who have shared the good times with me this last decade. Now, let's go and make 2020 something amazing!
Warning, unauthorized art use
Posted 6 years agoHey all, just making a short journal here to point out something that's been brought to my attention.
A few days ago, a friend of mine had a random person take one of his commissioned pieces (without asking) and edit in their 'character', all for some story or something. When confronted about it, this person started to scream about 'fair use' and how they had every right to do this because they had edited the original content.
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/ck-19/ This is their gallery. I've already contacted Wontoonroo about his, but if you see yourself or someone you know in that gallery, I would let them know, because it looks like this person is trying to use others' characters without permission.
I'm not promoting a 'mob mentality' to cause a commotion or problems, I just want to let people know if their characters are being used in ways they would not want.
A few days ago, a friend of mine had a random person take one of his commissioned pieces (without asking) and edit in their 'character', all for some story or something. When confronted about it, this person started to scream about 'fair use' and how they had every right to do this because they had edited the original content.
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/ck-19/ This is their gallery. I've already contacted Wontoonroo about his, but if you see yourself or someone you know in that gallery, I would let them know, because it looks like this person is trying to use others' characters without permission.
I'm not promoting a 'mob mentality' to cause a commotion or problems, I just want to let people know if their characters are being used in ways they would not want.
Moving in a month!
Posted 6 years agoI don't think I made a major update on this, so I figure that one is in order.
I am moving next month! 30 years in Wisconsin, this will be my first time ever living outside of my home state. Where to? Colorado, in the Denver area to be specific. I leave on the 9th, so from now until then I am likely going to be a bit sparse on messengers and social media during the daytime. Unfortunately 4 and a half years in one place lets you get quite comfortable, so I have a lot of packing to do.
I'm a bit nervous, but also quite excited, especially since this will be the first time I get to meet
in person! I've known him for 12 years, he was one of the first people I met on SL when I joined it back in 2007. Gonna be a lot of fun, even though the first month or two will suck because of adjusting to a new time zone, new location, living with people again, etc. But I think the benefits of living in a larger city will outweigh the difficulties.
So yeah, moving in a month, will be sparse, getting to move in with friends and follow through with plans we've had for over half a decade. Am excite.
I am moving next month! 30 years in Wisconsin, this will be my first time ever living outside of my home state. Where to? Colorado, in the Denver area to be specific. I leave on the 9th, so from now until then I am likely going to be a bit sparse on messengers and social media during the daytime. Unfortunately 4 and a half years in one place lets you get quite comfortable, so I have a lot of packing to do.
I'm a bit nervous, but also quite excited, especially since this will be the first time I get to meet
in person! I've known him for 12 years, he was one of the first people I met on SL when I joined it back in 2007. Gonna be a lot of fun, even though the first month or two will suck because of adjusting to a new time zone, new location, living with people again, etc. But I think the benefits of living in a larger city will outweigh the difficulties.So yeah, moving in a month, will be sparse, getting to move in with friends and follow through with plans we've had for over half a decade. Am excite.
A big thank you
Posted 6 years agoHey all, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for the massive wave of support you've been giving over the past couple of months. Up until recently I was feeling uncomfortable and, honestly, a bit lost in regards to the fandom and what I wanted out of it.
But the positive response you all have given about the content I've posted--especially the 3D model of Draggy I recently acquired--has made me feel more confident in sharing and indulging in the content I enjoy. There's one individual I want to thank in particular for the note they sent me this morning. You know who you are, and thank you for the kind words.
I'll do my best to keep on providing content in the form of my backlog of commissioned art, as well as new content here and there.
Thanks again!
But the positive response you all have given about the content I've posted--especially the 3D model of Draggy I recently acquired--has made me feel more confident in sharing and indulging in the content I enjoy. There's one individual I want to thank in particular for the note they sent me this morning. You know who you are, and thank you for the kind words.
I'll do my best to keep on providing content in the form of my backlog of commissioned art, as well as new content here and there.
Thanks again!
Well that was a failure.
Posted 6 years agoI think I managed to keep up with that upload schedule for all of about two weeks. XD
I'm gonna try to keep to at least Monday/Friday for posting, I just have had a lot of things going on, and my mood ends up shot to where I don't really feel the energy to post (more-so the effort of coming up with a short story to go with it).
Anyway, expect a Macro themed post from me in a lil bit tonight!
I'm gonna try to keep to at least Monday/Friday for posting, I just have had a lot of things going on, and my mood ends up shot to where I don't really feel the energy to post (more-so the effort of coming up with a short story to go with it).
Anyway, expect a Macro themed post from me in a lil bit tonight!
UPLOAD SCHEDULE!
Posted 6 years agoWooo, capital letters because they bring so much more attention! \o/
So I did a bit of thinking, and I am going to go with the Mon/Wed/Fri upload schedule discussed in my last journal. I plan on uploading two images a day, preferably one in the morning/lunch time frame, and another in the evening. For me (Central US timezone) around noon and 6-7pm respectively. If for some reason I cannot do so, I'll post a journal the night before or morning of. I am going to try and start tomorrow, but I want to try and create a master list in a document so that I can mark things off as I post them. Avoid double-posts or having to scroll through and figure out if I posted something already.
Peace!
So I did a bit of thinking, and I am going to go with the Mon/Wed/Fri upload schedule discussed in my last journal. I plan on uploading two images a day, preferably one in the morning/lunch time frame, and another in the evening. For me (Central US timezone) around noon and 6-7pm respectively. If for some reason I cannot do so, I'll post a journal the night before or morning of. I am going to try and start tomorrow, but I want to try and create a master list in a document so that I can mark things off as I post them. Avoid double-posts or having to scroll through and figure out if I posted something already.
Peace!
Updates & Things!
Posted 6 years agoIt’s been a while since I did an actual update to my FA page, so I figured it’s about time I actually did something about that.
As far as my personal life, things have been pretty hectic. Work has been fairly stressful despite being a decent amount of income oh, but I think finally things are going to be improving with the result of unqualified management no longer being employed. I’m also going to be moving sometime this summer! The current plan is for Colorado to move in with some friends. Not sure on the date for that yet, but hopefully in the next few months.
I’ve been getting a lot of art over the last year of my various characters, and while I would like to get a lot of it posted, I’m unsure of how to go about actually posting it up in regards to a schedule. I wanted to get some feedback from followers on here to see what you guys think might work. I currently am considering one of the following options:
• Post a single piece of art each day.
• Post two or three pieces every other day on Monday Wednesday and Friday.
• Make one massive post of 10 or more pieces twice a week, on Monday and Friday.
Right now I’m kind of leaning towards the second option, but I wanted to get some feedback on each to see what the people who watch me would prefer in terms of quantity and time frame. I don't want to go about posting so much at once that people just end up glossing over it, but I also don't want to post too little so that it just takes forever to get through the back log. Go ahead and leave a comment about which you would prefer if you would like to leave feedback, and if you have a suggestion in terms of a schedule that would work out.
That’s about all I’ve got time for right now, I just wanted to get a new Journal up giving a little update for this website. I still prefer it for most art related content, because it has the user base and a much more easily navigated Gallery feature than websites like Twitter or Tumblr. I should really be using it more as a result.
As far as my personal life, things have been pretty hectic. Work has been fairly stressful despite being a decent amount of income oh, but I think finally things are going to be improving with the result of unqualified management no longer being employed. I’m also going to be moving sometime this summer! The current plan is for Colorado to move in with some friends. Not sure on the date for that yet, but hopefully in the next few months.
I’ve been getting a lot of art over the last year of my various characters, and while I would like to get a lot of it posted, I’m unsure of how to go about actually posting it up in regards to a schedule. I wanted to get some feedback from followers on here to see what you guys think might work. I currently am considering one of the following options:
• Post a single piece of art each day.
• Post two or three pieces every other day on Monday Wednesday and Friday.
• Make one massive post of 10 or more pieces twice a week, on Monday and Friday.
Right now I’m kind of leaning towards the second option, but I wanted to get some feedback on each to see what the people who watch me would prefer in terms of quantity and time frame. I don't want to go about posting so much at once that people just end up glossing over it, but I also don't want to post too little so that it just takes forever to get through the back log. Go ahead and leave a comment about which you would prefer if you would like to leave feedback, and if you have a suggestion in terms of a schedule that would work out.
That’s about all I’ve got time for right now, I just wanted to get a new Journal up giving a little update for this website. I still prefer it for most art related content, because it has the user base and a much more easily navigated Gallery feature than websites like Twitter or Tumblr. I should really be using it more as a result.
No longer feeling like I belong here.
Posted 6 years agoPretty much what the title says. Lately I have just felt like I don't have a place in the Vore community anymore. I feel like an outlier, someone who goes against the norm, since I don't like anyting revolving around death or implied permanence, especially actual permanence. I don't know if it's intentional within the community, but I've started to get feelings of being valued less, or favored less when it comes to public interaction due to the fact that I have very strict preferences.
In no way am I saying that this is 100% the truth, it's just what I've been feeling about my involvement over the past couple of years. I'm a very easily emotionally driven individual, and so when I see content involving characters personified by friends and those close to me and unpleasant situations I can't help but get a huge rush anxiety. I don't want to see them in such a situation because to me I don't want to see someone I care about suffering. It is a fault of mine that this is a failure to disconnect from the character and the person behind the character but at the same time I do feel that I am to some extent at least a little bit justified in feeling this way.
A lot of this negativity stems from the increasing popularity of things like permavore and profile play. With Perma stuff it's not as bad because it's easier to block and avoid, but it's still can slip through Tama which is why I'm bummed that fa still has never implemented any sort of tag blacklisting feature. On the flip side stuff like profile play is by Design meant to be shoved in everyone's faces. If people kept it only to a site specifically meant for that kind of stuff, I wouldn't have so much of an issue. But I've dealt firsthand with plenty of instances of going on Twitter or jumping on flist and either seeing a retweet of someone whose icon is a character's ass, or a message on flist with an update to someone's profile stating that they've been temp or permavored.
That kind of stuff is why I've become very strict about anything involving my characters being labeled as nonfatal. I want no chance of it being construed as anything otherwise, because I've dealt with people trying to imply that stuff in the past. Thankfully it was only a couple of times, but it was enough to upset me enough to take those steps. I've known people who have dealt with far worst when it comes to things revolving around profile play on flist, plenty of drama and ruined friendships due to a lack of communication and dishonesty.
I know that this is supposed to be a big Community where everyone is welcoming and inclusive of other people's interests and preferences, but lately I felt like some people just have this overwhelming desire to get what they want regardless of other people's preferences. Whether or not this is actually the case I have no proof either way, it's just what I have felt. That people are taking a very heavy-hitting scenario and just tossing it about as if it were a regular interest with no regard for how other people are going to handle it.
I know that I'm probably going to get some Flack for this, so I do want to go on record as saying I don't inherently hate profile play or permavore itself, I just really wish that it was practiced in a more controlled manner in a way that was more easily filtered out and hidden by the people who don't want to be involved with it.
I might end up just taking a week's vacation from furaffinity and Twitter, along with limiting my interactions with furry stuff when it comes to Discord. Maybe giving myself some distance from the community for a little while will help me find my footing again so that I can have a better mental approach towards things.
In no way am I saying that this is 100% the truth, it's just what I've been feeling about my involvement over the past couple of years. I'm a very easily emotionally driven individual, and so when I see content involving characters personified by friends and those close to me and unpleasant situations I can't help but get a huge rush anxiety. I don't want to see them in such a situation because to me I don't want to see someone I care about suffering. It is a fault of mine that this is a failure to disconnect from the character and the person behind the character but at the same time I do feel that I am to some extent at least a little bit justified in feeling this way.
A lot of this negativity stems from the increasing popularity of things like permavore and profile play. With Perma stuff it's not as bad because it's easier to block and avoid, but it's still can slip through Tama which is why I'm bummed that fa still has never implemented any sort of tag blacklisting feature. On the flip side stuff like profile play is by Design meant to be shoved in everyone's faces. If people kept it only to a site specifically meant for that kind of stuff, I wouldn't have so much of an issue. But I've dealt firsthand with plenty of instances of going on Twitter or jumping on flist and either seeing a retweet of someone whose icon is a character's ass, or a message on flist with an update to someone's profile stating that they've been temp or permavored.
That kind of stuff is why I've become very strict about anything involving my characters being labeled as nonfatal. I want no chance of it being construed as anything otherwise, because I've dealt with people trying to imply that stuff in the past. Thankfully it was only a couple of times, but it was enough to upset me enough to take those steps. I've known people who have dealt with far worst when it comes to things revolving around profile play on flist, plenty of drama and ruined friendships due to a lack of communication and dishonesty.
I know that this is supposed to be a big Community where everyone is welcoming and inclusive of other people's interests and preferences, but lately I felt like some people just have this overwhelming desire to get what they want regardless of other people's preferences. Whether or not this is actually the case I have no proof either way, it's just what I have felt. That people are taking a very heavy-hitting scenario and just tossing it about as if it were a regular interest with no regard for how other people are going to handle it.
I know that I'm probably going to get some Flack for this, so I do want to go on record as saying I don't inherently hate profile play or permavore itself, I just really wish that it was practiced in a more controlled manner in a way that was more easily filtered out and hidden by the people who don't want to be involved with it.
I might end up just taking a week's vacation from furaffinity and Twitter, along with limiting my interactions with furry stuff when it comes to Discord. Maybe giving myself some distance from the community for a little while will help me find my footing again so that I can have a better mental approach towards things.
Contact Info
Posted 7 years agoAlright, because I'm a dumbass and closed the tab I was writing this in... take two...
_________________________________
I am going to go about the process of posting all of my primary messenger/gaming/site usernames on my account here. Someone I know is still dealing with a person pretending to be them, so I figured I would take the initiative and put my info out there so if people get a friend request from someone claiming to be me, they can verify validity.
DISCLAIMER TIME
I am not putting this information out there so that people can contact me any time they want. It is merely being provided as a reference for authenticity. I don't think I've ever had to deal with such issues once in my time in the fandom, but it doesn't hurt. As such, there are only two instances of being contacted on my personal accounts that I'll be ok with:
+ You are contacting me to inform me that someone is pretending to be me on said platform, along with information regarding their screen name.
+ You are an artist or someone I'm getting a commission with, contacting me regarding art.
Other reasons for contact ("Just want to get to know you" or "Want to RP?") will have a very high likelihood of being ignored, or outright blocked. Consider this your warning on the subject. This isn't because I'm a snobbish asshole, I just don't have much time to talk to close friends I've known for years, so I would rather not keep expanding my friend lists to levels I can't even hope to handle.
If you have any questions, feel free to comment below. Once I get all of my accounts written down I'll be updating my profile page with them.
_________________________________
I am going to go about the process of posting all of my primary messenger/gaming/site usernames on my account here. Someone I know is still dealing with a person pretending to be them, so I figured I would take the initiative and put my info out there so if people get a friend request from someone claiming to be me, they can verify validity.
DISCLAIMER TIME
I am not putting this information out there so that people can contact me any time they want. It is merely being provided as a reference for authenticity. I don't think I've ever had to deal with such issues once in my time in the fandom, but it doesn't hurt. As such, there are only two instances of being contacted on my personal accounts that I'll be ok with:
+ You are contacting me to inform me that someone is pretending to be me on said platform, along with information regarding their screen name.
+ You are an artist or someone I'm getting a commission with, contacting me regarding art.
Other reasons for contact ("Just want to get to know you" or "Want to RP?") will have a very high likelihood of being ignored, or outright blocked. Consider this your warning on the subject. This isn't because I'm a snobbish asshole, I just don't have much time to talk to close friends I've known for years, so I would rather not keep expanding my friend lists to levels I can't even hope to handle.
If you have any questions, feel free to comment below. Once I get all of my accounts written down I'll be updating my profile page with them.
3 years of recovery
Posted 7 years ago(As a small precursor, this journal brings up the topic of tempvore and permavore, a profile play based variant of vore that cropped up on F-list and has been very popular over there for the last few years. It involves prey characters temporarily [or permanently] altering their profiles and icons to reflect what ended up happening from a particular RP. For example changing their icon to a ballsac if they were cockvored. Tempvore revolves around the prey being 'unavailable' for a predetermined amount of time, while permavore means that the character is dead for good. Hence 'temp'vore and 'perma'vore. Permavore should not be confused with fatal vore, where the character only dies in the instance of a scene or story.)
So, as some people probably recall, 3 years ago I ended up spiraling down a dark pit of anxiety and depression brought on by the explosive popularity of permavore, primairly on F-list. I won't go into specifics, but things happened that ended up terribly skewing my outlook on vore and most enjoyment I got out of it. Let me just say that being in a constant state of near-panic is not fun, to put it lightly.
Over those first couple of years I experienced quite a few low moments. Small panic-attacks or flashes of depression seeing a certain artist's work, or something involving someone's character, or in some instances just the mere notion that a piece of art could have the prey dying or not coming back in some fashion. I've said and done some things that I wish I hadn't, but over time I managed to get a better handle on my emotions, and work things out in my head. Luckily I only had one instance of involvement, in which someone who had 'a fetish for permavoring long-standing/well-established characters' had placed me on a "I'm watching you..." list on their profile, which was just a "I want to permavore these characters" list. There was a short, but aggressive bout of drama with them complaining that I shouldn't be upset because they were only fantasizing about permavoring my character, but they finally removed it once I mentioned getting staff involved. I later found out they got banned shortly thereafter for harassing users, along with a couple other things.
This last Christmas, I had another run-in, involving someone very close to me, primarily through a major misunderstanding (and subsequent overreaction) on my part, to the point that I got physically ill over it. Luckily I had a lot of people who were willing to put up with my outbursts and breakdowns, and help me get through it all. I was able to get a grip on my problems, and stop getting so emotionally invested with it. And shortly after that, I had a sort of breakthrough in my mind about what my problems were, which ended up helping me get over things even further.
Initially, the realization I came to was that a lot of my dislike for it was the level of 'in your face' that it always ended up having. Obviously 'profile play' means that whatever happens is going to be something that is blatantly shown, and so the concept of being forced to see instances of permavore was a major lynch-pin to my reasons for hating it so much. But, this did end up reminding me that, just as I hate seeing fatal/permavore, or unwilling vore, there are people who just as much hate the concept of willing, non-fatal/endo vore. I realized that It is a fetish, and that by itself it isn't a problem. The problems come from people abusing it.
From my perspective, vore as a whole should be looked at as a form of BDSM. It involves themes of bondage, dominance, submission, power-play, etc, and just as anything involving those, it has different levels. You have lighter, gentler kinks revolving around vore: Willing, endosoma, non-fatal/reformation after digestion, painless digestion, non-permanent absorption, etc. Then there are the darker sides: fatal vore, hard vore, graphic digestion, disposal, permanent vore, unwilling, etc. They all have their place, their people who enjoy them, and when performed well between mutuals all looking for the same end result, all of them are overall harmless.
Permavore is just one of those extreme ends on the darker side of the spectrum. It is a VERY strong play on the dominance/submission theme (In my eyes), and is a decision that should NEVER be made 'in the heat of the moment'. Being irresponsible when engaging in it leads to drama, over-inflated egos, and even emotional issues.
Sometimes people get deeply attached to a friend's character, pretty much identifying them through that character, and to suddenly one day log on and see their profile replaced with a stomach, or a cock and balls, or an oversized ass, accompanied with "Now a permanent addition to _________'s (insert body part here)" plastered across that character's profile? That can be very jarring, along the vein of waking up to the message that a relative has died. Yes, it is a fictional character, but it is still a very unsettling thing to experience.
The inflated ego is also something that can be a big problem. People who claim "I don't do it for the ego aspect of it", while their profile contains a drop-down menu of over 2 dozen permavored characters over the span of less than 2 weeks. Predators who have a temper tantrum in a public channel on F-list because they just found out someone's character had been permavored by another predator, despite the player having promised said character to them.
Emotional problems can come up with people who hate permavore. Finding out a friend absolutely loves it is a big one, and the only way to resolve such a situation is for both sides to openly discuss and figure out some form of middle-ground. The above-mentioned finding out a friend let their character get perma'd is another situation.. Yes, this is a fantasy setting, but it is still a setting that people use as a way to find some enjoyment in an otherwise stressful and unhappy real world, so running into unpleasant scenarios such as permavore can be almost as bad as dealing with a death in real life, depending on the context.
I have seen people who are very, VERY careful about the ways that they go about the aspect of permavore, or even just tempvore. These include laying their profile on f-list out in such a way that each instance of temp or permavore are contained within their own separate dropdowns, meaning that the character is still available. An alternate to this is creating a new character profile for each instance, which allows the icon for that instance to be displayed on the relevant predator's page. This is definitely better than how a lot of people tend to go about it.
Do I wish permavore had never been a thing? Hell yes I do, but at the same time I've realized that, honestly, this sort of vore has gone on for FAR longer than its recent popularity on F-list. It just was probably not portrayed as it is now due to a lack of profile layouts like F-list.
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If you've made it to this point and managed to read all of that, sorry. I ended up feeling the need to write something down after realizing how far I've managed to get in recovering from what happened to me.
Do I still get upset or bothered any time I see something involving temp or permavore? A little, but VERY little, and I'm able to shrug it off because of the changes in perspective I've had. Just as with any fetish--hyper, inflation, weight gain, scat/watersports, bondage--it takes two to tango, and trying to dance with a partner who isn't into the same music as you will always be a rough time.
I'm extremely grateful to the people who basically took care of me emotionally. So to any of them who happen to read this, Thank you very, very much. You do not need to make yourself known if you do not want to.
The goal of this journal was not to dump a bunch of hate on permavore, so don't feel entitled to 'defend' it if you're into it, but if you have thoughts on it that you'd like to comment with, my only request is that you be constructive.
So, as some people probably recall, 3 years ago I ended up spiraling down a dark pit of anxiety and depression brought on by the explosive popularity of permavore, primairly on F-list. I won't go into specifics, but things happened that ended up terribly skewing my outlook on vore and most enjoyment I got out of it. Let me just say that being in a constant state of near-panic is not fun, to put it lightly.
Over those first couple of years I experienced quite a few low moments. Small panic-attacks or flashes of depression seeing a certain artist's work, or something involving someone's character, or in some instances just the mere notion that a piece of art could have the prey dying or not coming back in some fashion. I've said and done some things that I wish I hadn't, but over time I managed to get a better handle on my emotions, and work things out in my head. Luckily I only had one instance of involvement, in which someone who had 'a fetish for permavoring long-standing/well-established characters' had placed me on a "I'm watching you..." list on their profile, which was just a "I want to permavore these characters" list. There was a short, but aggressive bout of drama with them complaining that I shouldn't be upset because they were only fantasizing about permavoring my character, but they finally removed it once I mentioned getting staff involved. I later found out they got banned shortly thereafter for harassing users, along with a couple other things.
This last Christmas, I had another run-in, involving someone very close to me, primarily through a major misunderstanding (and subsequent overreaction) on my part, to the point that I got physically ill over it. Luckily I had a lot of people who were willing to put up with my outbursts and breakdowns, and help me get through it all. I was able to get a grip on my problems, and stop getting so emotionally invested with it. And shortly after that, I had a sort of breakthrough in my mind about what my problems were, which ended up helping me get over things even further.
Initially, the realization I came to was that a lot of my dislike for it was the level of 'in your face' that it always ended up having. Obviously 'profile play' means that whatever happens is going to be something that is blatantly shown, and so the concept of being forced to see instances of permavore was a major lynch-pin to my reasons for hating it so much. But, this did end up reminding me that, just as I hate seeing fatal/permavore, or unwilling vore, there are people who just as much hate the concept of willing, non-fatal/endo vore. I realized that It is a fetish, and that by itself it isn't a problem. The problems come from people abusing it.
From my perspective, vore as a whole should be looked at as a form of BDSM. It involves themes of bondage, dominance, submission, power-play, etc, and just as anything involving those, it has different levels. You have lighter, gentler kinks revolving around vore: Willing, endosoma, non-fatal/reformation after digestion, painless digestion, non-permanent absorption, etc. Then there are the darker sides: fatal vore, hard vore, graphic digestion, disposal, permanent vore, unwilling, etc. They all have their place, their people who enjoy them, and when performed well between mutuals all looking for the same end result, all of them are overall harmless.
Permavore is just one of those extreme ends on the darker side of the spectrum. It is a VERY strong play on the dominance/submission theme (In my eyes), and is a decision that should NEVER be made 'in the heat of the moment'. Being irresponsible when engaging in it leads to drama, over-inflated egos, and even emotional issues.
Sometimes people get deeply attached to a friend's character, pretty much identifying them through that character, and to suddenly one day log on and see their profile replaced with a stomach, or a cock and balls, or an oversized ass, accompanied with "Now a permanent addition to _________'s (insert body part here)" plastered across that character's profile? That can be very jarring, along the vein of waking up to the message that a relative has died. Yes, it is a fictional character, but it is still a very unsettling thing to experience.
The inflated ego is also something that can be a big problem. People who claim "I don't do it for the ego aspect of it", while their profile contains a drop-down menu of over 2 dozen permavored characters over the span of less than 2 weeks. Predators who have a temper tantrum in a public channel on F-list because they just found out someone's character had been permavored by another predator, despite the player having promised said character to them.
Emotional problems can come up with people who hate permavore. Finding out a friend absolutely loves it is a big one, and the only way to resolve such a situation is for both sides to openly discuss and figure out some form of middle-ground. The above-mentioned finding out a friend let their character get perma'd is another situation.. Yes, this is a fantasy setting, but it is still a setting that people use as a way to find some enjoyment in an otherwise stressful and unhappy real world, so running into unpleasant scenarios such as permavore can be almost as bad as dealing with a death in real life, depending on the context.
I have seen people who are very, VERY careful about the ways that they go about the aspect of permavore, or even just tempvore. These include laying their profile on f-list out in such a way that each instance of temp or permavore are contained within their own separate dropdowns, meaning that the character is still available. An alternate to this is creating a new character profile for each instance, which allows the icon for that instance to be displayed on the relevant predator's page. This is definitely better than how a lot of people tend to go about it.
Do I wish permavore had never been a thing? Hell yes I do, but at the same time I've realized that, honestly, this sort of vore has gone on for FAR longer than its recent popularity on F-list. It just was probably not portrayed as it is now due to a lack of profile layouts like F-list.
____________________________________
If you've made it to this point and managed to read all of that, sorry. I ended up feeling the need to write something down after realizing how far I've managed to get in recovering from what happened to me.
Do I still get upset or bothered any time I see something involving temp or permavore? A little, but VERY little, and I'm able to shrug it off because of the changes in perspective I've had. Just as with any fetish--hyper, inflation, weight gain, scat/watersports, bondage--it takes two to tango, and trying to dance with a partner who isn't into the same music as you will always be a rough time.
I'm extremely grateful to the people who basically took care of me emotionally. So to any of them who happen to read this, Thank you very, very much. You do not need to make yourself known if you do not want to.
The goal of this journal was not to dump a bunch of hate on permavore, so don't feel entitled to 'defend' it if you're into it, but if you have thoughts on it that you'd like to comment with, my only request is that you be constructive.
weasyl
Posted 7 years agoSo, would people follow me if I ended up moving over to Weasyl?
Wow, that one was popular!
Posted 7 years agoYeah, that certainly was crazy. I only posted that picture from :necrodrone13: 5 days ago (4 days 22 hours as of posting this journal), and it's already the 8th most favorited submission in my gallery! In the top 10 in less than a week, seems you all really like an unassuming, but dominating dragon!
And technically it would be 11th, but I consider the Dongbat comic a single entity, so I count that as being top 10!
Thanks everyone, glad so many people like the raunchy vorish hyper stuff I commission. I'll be trying to find something to post in the next couple of days! :D
And technically it would be 11th, but I consider the Dongbat comic a single entity, so I count that as being top 10!
Thanks everyone, glad so many people like the raunchy vorish hyper stuff I commission. I'll be trying to find something to post in the next couple of days! :D
Stagnating
Posted 7 years agoI've realized that despite all that I get involved with from commissioning art and talking to friends in the fandom, I do very, very little in the way of actual interaction, primarily through posting commissioned works here for people that like all things me.
It's time for me to fix that, so I'm going to start actually posting some of the things I've gotten drawn over the past few years. In no particular order, really. I'll just kinda go through and pick at random. With any luck I'll figure out some sort of schedule to post stuff, too. At the very least I'll attempt to start posting on my days off, when I have time to actually sit down and give some writing to go along with the art.
I'll also be publicly introducing a character who hasn't seen much in the way of a public appearance past some early concept stuff and limited exposure through a couple other places. Part of that is because his current/final appearance does bare a strong resemblance to Draggy, and I've dealt with a decent share of "He just looks like Draggy lololol" comments. I'm gonna stop paying attention to them, though. If people don't like that they don't have to look at it.
On a side note, I've also been considering putting money aside to start saving up for a fursuit. I'm just not sure what I want to go with yet. I do also want to get more active on my Twitter, but I'm not sure just what to go about doing on there other than random reblogs. We'll have to see.
Anyway, I'll do my best to start getting some things lined up to be posted. I may filter through some of my gallery and clean it up.
It's time for me to fix that, so I'm going to start actually posting some of the things I've gotten drawn over the past few years. In no particular order, really. I'll just kinda go through and pick at random. With any luck I'll figure out some sort of schedule to post stuff, too. At the very least I'll attempt to start posting on my days off, when I have time to actually sit down and give some writing to go along with the art.
I'll also be publicly introducing a character who hasn't seen much in the way of a public appearance past some early concept stuff and limited exposure through a couple other places. Part of that is because his current/final appearance does bare a strong resemblance to Draggy, and I've dealt with a decent share of "He just looks like Draggy lololol" comments. I'm gonna stop paying attention to them, though. If people don't like that they don't have to look at it.
On a side note, I've also been considering putting money aside to start saving up for a fursuit. I'm just not sure what I want to go with yet. I do also want to get more active on my Twitter, but I'm not sure just what to go about doing on there other than random reblogs. We'll have to see.
Anyway, I'll do my best to start getting some things lined up to be posted. I may filter through some of my gallery and clean it up.
Ripe age of nearly 30
Posted 7 years agoOh shit, it's that time of year for me. Stupid having to get older and crap.
Yeah, I'm gonna be 29 on Sunday, so I figured a stupid journal about it was in order. But like, fuck me I can't believe I'm almost 30. Not even 10 years ago I was still living at home with no direction in life and now I'm living on my own...with no direction in life. Ah well, at least I'm able to take care of myself to some degree without relying on others.
Things have been steadily improving over the past month, albeit a little more roughly than I would have preferred. They are getting better, though. My mood has been improving, with the exception of dealing with the usual customer stupidity at work.
I'm going to be heading out in 6 hours to take a small vacation down to Madison, to visit my brother and sister-in-law, but mostly to just get out of this town for a couple of days. Depending on the weather I may wander around on State Street on Saturday, so if you're a Madison local and want to possibly meet me (Why, I have no clue), keep an eye out for me. I'll most likely be wearing my Dancing Nikitak hoodie, along with one of these shirts. If you do attempt this, just keep things friendly and such. I won't really be treating it as a "Hey let's be friends" deal, just a "Hey, I know you, what's up?" thing.
Anyway, enough rambling. I'm going to get some sleep in so that I'm rested for the drive. Cheers to all that read this, much love to all those close to me, I hope everyone has a pleasant weekend!
Yeah, I'm gonna be 29 on Sunday, so I figured a stupid journal about it was in order. But like, fuck me I can't believe I'm almost 30. Not even 10 years ago I was still living at home with no direction in life and now I'm living on my own...with no direction in life. Ah well, at least I'm able to take care of myself to some degree without relying on others.
Things have been steadily improving over the past month, albeit a little more roughly than I would have preferred. They are getting better, though. My mood has been improving, with the exception of dealing with the usual customer stupidity at work.
I'm going to be heading out in 6 hours to take a small vacation down to Madison, to visit my brother and sister-in-law, but mostly to just get out of this town for a couple of days. Depending on the weather I may wander around on State Street on Saturday, so if you're a Madison local and want to possibly meet me (Why, I have no clue), keep an eye out for me. I'll most likely be wearing my Dancing Nikitak hoodie, along with one of these shirts. If you do attempt this, just keep things friendly and such. I won't really be treating it as a "Hey let's be friends" deal, just a "Hey, I know you, what's up?" thing.
Anyway, enough rambling. I'm going to get some sleep in so that I'm rested for the drive. Cheers to all that read this, much love to all those close to me, I hope everyone has a pleasant weekend!
Fixing something that's broken is hard…
Posted 7 years ago… especially when you don't even know why it's broken, or what tools you need to fix it. This past month and a half has taught me that I have a lot of problems going on in my head and I need to see about doing something to try and fix them. I've probably annoyed a few people close to me despite how much they've helped me. All because I'm bothered by the fact that a lot people enjoy fatal stuff in vore. I want to clarify that it's not something I don't think people should do, because I know a lot of people like a lot of different things and it isn't something for me to judge. For some reason I just can't make the disconnect that the characters involved are fictional characters and that the scenarios being portrayed are for the enjoyment of the players. I don't know if it's a bad thing or not but the concept of death seems to have affected me much more deeply than I thought, to the point that seeing it in a fictional setting brings me discomfort because it's a real life concept being brought into fantasy.
I've unfollowed multiple artists because of these problems in my head. Morca and Kalnareff, to name a couple. I used to love their artwork so much, and now I just cannot enjoy it. It isn't anything that they directly did to me and it isn't anything specific that they did. It's my perception of their art and my perception of what's being portrayed that is causing me to not be able to enjoy it.
I do know that one reason people do it is to help with the concept of death and better be able to handle the emotions about it, while others engage in such activity to help make those emotions less of a burden. It very much is a deep and trusting relationship being established between the people involved in such a scenario, and yet for some reason I get bothered by it, especially when it's something involving a character of someone that I know.
There really isn't much of a point to this journal, it mostly was something for me to just spew some thoughts that have been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. Tell anyone that I have annoyed with how consistently I bring the sort of stuff up, I'm very sorry that I've been a burden. I want 2018 to be a year of improvement for myself, and while I am trying, it does feel like I'm just sitting in the same spot spinning my wheels instead of moving forward.
Hopefully I can figure out something soon before I start to actually become sick from over thinking about this stuff.
I've unfollowed multiple artists because of these problems in my head. Morca and Kalnareff, to name a couple. I used to love their artwork so much, and now I just cannot enjoy it. It isn't anything that they directly did to me and it isn't anything specific that they did. It's my perception of their art and my perception of what's being portrayed that is causing me to not be able to enjoy it.
I do know that one reason people do it is to help with the concept of death and better be able to handle the emotions about it, while others engage in such activity to help make those emotions less of a burden. It very much is a deep and trusting relationship being established between the people involved in such a scenario, and yet for some reason I get bothered by it, especially when it's something involving a character of someone that I know.
There really isn't much of a point to this journal, it mostly was something for me to just spew some thoughts that have been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. Tell anyone that I have annoyed with how consistently I bring the sort of stuff up, I'm very sorry that I've been a burden. I want 2018 to be a year of improvement for myself, and while I am trying, it does feel like I'm just sitting in the same spot spinning my wheels instead of moving forward.
Hopefully I can figure out something soon before I start to actually become sick from over thinking about this stuff.
Thank you! And news!
Posted 8 years agoI figure making a journal is a lot easier than going to individual user Pages or comments to say thank you for the recent interest in my past few uploads here on the site. So, basically thank you for watching and favoriting and commenting on the new submissions! I haven't really responded to any comments on them because I have been busy with a lot of stuff and I'm just a little too worn out to really put thought into the comments like I would want to, but I'm going to be trying and going back and responding to those comments on the art pieces to give them the attention they deserve basically.
I feel a little bad because I haven't been able to upload as much of my backlog as I wanted to at a pace that I was hoping to accomplish, mostly due to various real life related stress. Work, drama online, being sick, it all added up and I didn't feel I was able to post submissions in a way that would add proper story to the submission like I prefer to do. Hopefully I can get that changed soon and start getting more stuff posted up for everyone to see. Unfortunately I am not going to be doing a short story this weekend again, on account of I will be taking my gaming computer apart to clean it and get it up and running at Peak Performance again. But hopefully next weekend I can hold another voting session so we can see about getting a short story written based on what people want to see.
But I do hope that everyone has enjoyed what I have shared recently so far, and is looking forward to what I'll be providing in the future. I do want to get more active in short story writing as well as getting all of the backlog commission work posted and shared through my user page. Also because I'm extremely lazy tonight I have been using voice to text to write this journal. Sorry if it seems a little strange as a result.
So thank you once again for all of the recent favorites, watches, and comments! I will be doing my best to get responses to those comments out soon and work on getting a few more submissions ready for posting in the coming weeks.
I feel a little bad because I haven't been able to upload as much of my backlog as I wanted to at a pace that I was hoping to accomplish, mostly due to various real life related stress. Work, drama online, being sick, it all added up and I didn't feel I was able to post submissions in a way that would add proper story to the submission like I prefer to do. Hopefully I can get that changed soon and start getting more stuff posted up for everyone to see. Unfortunately I am not going to be doing a short story this weekend again, on account of I will be taking my gaming computer apart to clean it and get it up and running at Peak Performance again. But hopefully next weekend I can hold another voting session so we can see about getting a short story written based on what people want to see.
But I do hope that everyone has enjoyed what I have shared recently so far, and is looking forward to what I'll be providing in the future. I do want to get more active in short story writing as well as getting all of the backlog commission work posted and shared through my user page. Also because I'm extremely lazy tonight I have been using voice to text to write this journal. Sorry if it seems a little strange as a result.
So thank you once again for all of the recent favorites, watches, and comments! I will be doing my best to get responses to those comments out soon and work on getting a few more submissions ready for posting in the coming weeks.
Character Updating
Posted 8 years agoSo I've been doing some thinking, and have realized that Draggy as a character is such a jumbled mess of information that there's no definitive way for me to go "Blluaaaahhhh" about any specific form of his. Kherlou, Merlot, and my other characters are all pretty much set in stone. Kherlou's only 'variance' is that I gave him an anthro form roughly modeled after my physique in real life.
I've started some work towards remedying this.
Hopefully soon I can put up an updated series of reference sheets for each of my characters!
I've started some work towards remedying this.
Hopefully soon I can put up an updated series of reference sheets for each of my characters!
No Regular Story Poll this Weekend.
Posted 8 years agoSo originally my plan was to do another poll today, so that I could get into a regular routine, but I think I need to not overdo it. I will try and do a poll every other weekend.
To all of my new watchers: Welcome to my page, I do hope that I can get up to posting semi-regularly to provide interesting content, both commissioned art, and my own writings.
To all of my new watchers: Welcome to my page, I do hope that I can get up to posting semi-regularly to provide interesting content, both commissioned art, and my own writings.
Free Art Raffle (Look inside)
Posted 8 years agoSo an artist I follow is doing a free art raffle! You should go check them out, I've loved their style for years!
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8574093/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8574093/
Poll Results are In!
Posted 8 years agoOk, so this morning I posted a journal about wanting to try my hand at writing another experimental short story, but I was having trouble deciding on a type of vore to use in it. So, I went ahead and made a poll for viewers to help me decide.
Well, the results are in, and it looks like Cock Vore has won the popular vote! I'll be doing my best to write something up for that in the next couple of days, then! Thanks for voting everyone, and if I do another vote like this, Cock Vore won't be on the list to give other methods a try.
Well, the results are in, and it looks like Cock Vore has won the popular vote! I'll be doing my best to write something up for that in the next couple of days, then! Thanks for voting everyone, and if I do another vote like this, Cock Vore won't be on the list to give other methods a try.
A signal Boost!
Posted 8 years agoHey, so I was approached by an artist that was curious if I was looking for commissions at the moment, stating they enjoyed my character and decided to write.
Unfortunately I already spent my quota for commissions for the next month, but I took a look, and they've got some nice stuff in their gallery. I figured the least I could do is pass on some signal boosting, since I have a rather large list of followers.
Feel free to give them a look over here!: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25966923/
Unfortunately I already spent my quota for commissions for the next month, but I took a look, and they've got some nice stuff in their gallery. I figured the least I could do is pass on some signal boosting, since I have a rather large list of followers.
Feel free to give them a look over here!: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25966923/
FA+
