Two years have passed and it's time for a little update.

First of all, I am very sorry that I have been very inactive here, and I would like to go into a little more detail as to why.

The first reason I haven't uploaded anything here lately is that it's been happening more and more often that my commissioned art is being uploaded somewhere without my permission, especially on deviantart, where for the eighth time now someone has uploaded my art without giving credit or mentioning the artist.

And the last incident was on October 21, when a good friend informed me that someone had uploaded my art, I wrote to the person to please take the art down and of course I didn't get a reply either and what annoyed me immensely when I also wrote to the support team to create a ticket, you don't get a reply, they don't care, And in another incident, where a friend was also affected, it took two months for deviantart to take action and remove the images, That's one of the reasons why I was pretty demotivated to upload anything.

And the next point I would like to address is Twitter, or rather x, The site has become very unpleasant in the meantime or has been for some time, not only because of the spam, you hardly get offered anything that interests you or that you follow, except for advertising and some spam bots that constantly try to follow you, I had to restrict my account so that not everyone could follow me, and it was also very demotivating for me to be active there.

And I'm also sorry that I haven't been online in Discord or Telegram as much lately, because I'm very reserved myself and have suffered from depression since childhood, Most people who know me know that, I just wanted to mention it for those who don't know.

I would like to become more active here on FA again, but this time without time pressure and at my own pace.


thank you all for taking the time to read it i love you all <3

As some people already know I mentioned in my last journal that my father is very ill with cancer.

a few weeks ago where he had his last chemotherapy, and when he came home he was fine as usual so it had always been like that until now, but the next day his condition worsened, he couldn't stand up anymore because he had quite a lot of back pain, but he has had that for a long time and always after chemotherapy he was always better afterwards"

but since he has two different cancers, one prostate and one Hodgkin's, and some metastasis to a couple of ribs, in any case, his condition worsened quite quickly, and usually the medicines he always got helped immediately against the pain, but this time it was not so.

and we had also immediately consulted with the doctor, and he had received even stronger drugs at first it seemed to help but then his condition worsened more and more, and actually he was also scheduled for radiation therapy, but since his body was already so battered he wasn't ready for transport and his body wouldn't have been able to handle it either.

But I don't want to go into specific details, in any case yesterday he was so bad and he was in so much pain, and he was also very scared, and he had expressed the wish not to go to the hospital anymore, and the sapv came yesterday and gave him something to calm him down, and also something for the pain, after that he had slowly relaxed and he also fell asleep immediately, and this morning my father passed away at 10 o'clock he fell asleep peacefully.

on the other hand we are all very sad at home, and on the other hand also very relieved that the suffering has finally come to an end.

I had already prepared myself a while ago in the Inntal a little bit that it will come like this, but everything went then nevertheless somewhat very fast, and at the moment I am very sad, but since I had already prepared myself a bit I can handle it a little better, but I will need a few days to process this, and I might be a bit more inactive in Telegram or discord the next days if I don't answer directly please be patient with me.

and I would also like to give you guys something along the way, tell your parents that you love them and give them a hug, something can always happen and it is important to spend as much time as possible with your parents, it can always happen very quickly that you lose a very beloved person.

thanks for reading i love you all guys ❤

Surik

Hello my friends, I hope everyone is well out there :3

for my first journal i actually had something else in mind, there are a few things i want to address and why i have not been so active here lately either.

but first of all I would like to thank you for the 2.5 K watchers that really means a lot to me <3

I wanted to address a few things that are really important to me and very close to my heart, I wanted to do this for a long time but I could never bring myself to do it because I'm very reserved.

as some of you know or have noticed i have not been very active here lately, and there are also some reasons why.

I have been very stressed for several years and months, it really started in 2020 because my uncle died, and in 2021 my grandmother died of dementia at the age of 90 in 2022 our dog died and currently my father's health is not so good because he also has cancer, He has been in the hospital several times lately for some examinations, and also some doctor appointments, and unfortunately during the examinations a second cancer was found in the lymph nodes the good news is it can be treated well, and for my father it is of course also not so easy to deal with it, and was also very often down and I and my family had to be very much for him there that is also one of the reasons why I have not been so active here lately"

the next topic I would like to address is not very pleasant for me, unfortunately I had to make the experience in the last few years how quickly friendships are replaced and thrown away nowadays, I used to be more open to meeting new people but at some point I started to distance myself from it a bit, especially when people started to meet me only for one reason and were only interested in getting in touch with my other friends, and I found that quite sad.

and other people who wanted to get to know me, at first it was quite normal but afterwards it should turn out to be something completely different, they immediately complained that I had not immediately responded to a message and I said that I can not respond to messages every second and I thought it would be done with that, but that wasn't the case they just kept on going even though I asked several times nicely to have a little patience then they started blocking me then they unblocked me again until at some point I said I don't want this anymore and I want to stop contacting them, I thought that was the end of it but it kept on going these people started writing me a thousand messages again on FA until afterwards I had no other choice but to block these people.

and that was really a very stressful time for me that was also one of the reasons why I have also distanced myself more and more.

and one thing I also want to talk about which is also very important to me, I learned last year from a close friend that behind my back is talked about and rumors are spread as to what extent about me is talked about that I unfortunately do not know.

what I want to say is not to always believe all the rumors that are spread about someone, because often what is said about someone is not true, because when a rumor is spread about someone, people do not even bother to ask if the rumor is true.

these were now some of the reasons why I was not so active here lately.

but first I would really like to thank from the bottom of my heart my friends who have remained faithful to me and have stood by me in my hard times that has really meant a lot to me.






 5-D









I would like to add all of them here but unfortunately there is a limit so I can't add all icons because I don't want anyone to feel forgotten.

i am really happy to have you all by my side, thank you all guys for being there for me it really means a lot to me <3

so and now to say something positive, what would I like to change for the future.

I would like to finally visit my friends that I have wanted to visit for so long, but it has never worked out for certain reasons, I would also like to be more open again to get to know new people and to let them get close to me again.

and someday i would like to finally visit the EF as well, to see my friends there and have a good time with them there, also I would like to finally meet people there that I always wanted to meet.

and I would also like to go in general for the future more on furry meet.

i would also like to become more active here on fa again and would like to start posting more here again, and since i have been so inactive here lately there are of course some things i haven't posted here yet, including four new characters.

and sometime in the future I would also like to fulfill my dream and get my own fursuit this is something I would like to tackle in the future.


that's it from my side for now, take care all of you and I hope to see you all soon guys <3


~Surik